Ep. #647: Killer Mike, Jessica Tarlov, Gov. Chris Sununu

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Maher.

Start the clock.

Thank you very much.

Thank you down there.

How are you?

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

I appreciate you coming out.

Thank you, people.

I appreciate that.

I know.

I know.

It's exciting.

I know why you're happy.

It's

people.

I know.

People are always very excited.

Because it's Groundhog Day, very exciting

day on the calendar.

Did you see?

It's always a big thing.

Where the Puxitani fell up there.

He came out.

Right.

Climate change.

That's just a theory.

But this.

He comes out of his hole.

He comes out of his hole and he did not see his shadow, so it will be a quick new

early spring.

And it was a

huge crowd there, one of the biggest they ever had.

I think they were just excited to see something emerge from a tunnel that wasn't Hamas.

But

there's so much going on.

So much going on right now at the Grammys this Sunday.

We've got one of the big nominees here, Killer Mike.

Up to three Grammys.

There's

94 Grammy categories, and also there's the Latin Grammys.

They give another 50.

That's in November,

because segregation is always okay when we do it.

And it's Black History Month, and both candidates, boy, they're trying to jump on this.

Biden's got a lot of different things planned to commemorate, and Trump has organized a joint appearance with Frederick Douglass.

But hey.

How about this?

A little positive news, a little three cheers for America, because it came out this week.

Our economy grew faster than any other major economies in the world, and by a wide margin, we're kind of killing it out there.

I know Biden's the worst president ever, but you know, could he get a little credit?

The unemployment rate is 3.7%, twice as good as when Reagan ran on Morning in America.

Some oil production.

We now produce more oil than Saudi Arabia, and our women can leave the House.

All right.

Of course, interesting side note to that, now that the economy is better, the number one issue now for voters is immigration.

Now that strawberries are under five bucks a pint, they're remembering who picked them.

And

of course,

the big thing that's most exciting is we have the Super Bowl set.

It is the Kansas City Chiefs against the San Francisco 49ers.

Okay.

And

interesting Wrinkle, first year, just Las Vegas.

First year we're doing that in Las Vegas.

It's going to be a little different.

Prostitutes

are offering the Travis Kelsey Special.

For an extra 50, you can score in their tight end.

It's,

I know, it's terrible.

But here's the great story of the week, and it's about the Super Bowl.

And it just shows, I mean, the right-wing, they are just mental, like I can't even.

They have a conspiracy theory now

that this whole game, the whole thing is rigged.

Okay, that the romance between Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey was engineered by the Pentagon's a psycho op operation.

A psycho-op is exactly what it is.

Psy-op operation.

And the NFL is in on it.

The whole season is rigged so that they could be in the Super Bowl.

And then at the Super Bowl, Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift at halftime will endorse Biden.

Well,

all I have to say about this is, abort!

They're onto us!

Really?

That's what it is?

This whole romance was engineered to throw an election?

Or maybe just the popular girl is dating the football player.

You know.

And look,

I think Taylor Swift is great, all respect for what she's achieved, but this is so high school, is it not?

I mean, just.

My boyfriend's a football player.

I wear his jacket with his number to the game.

He's going to be prom king, and we're going to make Fetch happen again.

I mean, fucking.

Okay.

But

it has driven them,

it has driven the right-wing creator.

I mean, Fox News, they have outdone themselves.

Fox News, these guys amaze me.

Everything with them is always a plot.

It's always a conspiracy.

Yeah, except the time people actually stormed the Capitol

on the very day they were certifying the votes.

That was just spontaneous fun.

But this thing, they are worked up about this.

Like, I can't tell you.

I mean, they even think that they can criticize, they're doing this on Fox News, Tyler Swift for flying on a private jet because it's bad for

the CO2.

That's how irrational Taylor Swift has these people.

They're worrying about climate change and rooting for San Francisco.

All right, we've got a great show.

We have Governor Chris Denuno of New Hampshire and Jessica Tarla.

But first up, he is an entrepreneur and musician.

His new Grammy nominated solo album, Michael, is out now.

Yes, three Grammys.

We're very proud of you, Killer.

Mike.

There he is.

Man.

Weekly, weekly, weekly.

Man, it's amazing.

White people standing up and not being lynched.

This is amazing.

Happy Black History Month.

Happy Black History Month, everybody.

Okay, why'd you have to go there?

I mean, that's not that.

What year is this?

Because it's funny.

Okay, all right.

James Baldwin talked about that, you know.

What?

That at some point as a country, we're just going to have to face whatever horrors we've been through.

And, you know, at the end of the day, like Dick Gregory, you got to laugh about this shit.

Yeah.

Come to see me in your arms.

I wanted to save you a while ago, but I'm not a house nigga, so I couldn't come out in the hole and hell, you know.

But I want to say what a lot of people probably, and I was really appreciative of the conversation you and Cube had because I thought it matured the nation in a way to show that things can happen and people can converse and not cancel.

I really was proud of you.

Can I ask a question?

You just go.

Let's do your thing.

Get on there.

Okay, all right.

So I think.

Can I get really comfortable taking this expensive coat my stylist putting me off?

His name's Chris.

I'm going to take this off.

Thank you, Mr.

Grace.

Oh, okay.

And I'm just going to get.

We're going to regular.

Shouts out to this brand, Grand, that makes cool fat people call me.

Thank you.

Just one question.

Just one.

Because I want to talk about your album.

I do too.

Okay.

But you know we only have 10 minutes.

Okay.

Yeah, because

this is a big moment in your life.

Yeah, it is.

I mean, it really is.

I mean, you've had a great recording career, and people knew you, but this is a different level.

It is.

You know, you go up for three Grammys.

I mean, I tell you, it's a great work of art, your album.

And I feel it's the transition that people are going to know between, like, Killer Mike and Mike Render.

Yeah.

The Mike I know.

Yeah.

I mean, isn't that what the album really is?

It is.

It's a nine-year-old boy who worked in an all-black world.

So at nine, it's 1984.

I grew up in a neighborhood called Acaria Heights in Atlanta.

It's a neighborhood developed by black people for black people.

So it wasn't segregated, it wasn't redlined.

It was just a bunch of black people that said, we don't want to fuss and fight and argue.

We'll live amongst each other.

And that meant very working-class black folks like my grandfather and the very rich, like the Herman Russell family, who helped to develop Atlanta.

We lived together, so there were good schools because it was a diverse tax base.

There was hope and optimism because all you saw was black success or failure based on choices, not necessarily systemic things.

You fought the systemic things.

You never saw white people.

On PBS.

So,

what about the other channels?

Well,

not like they weren't white people on CBS.

Yeah, well, if my grandmother loved Dan Rather, I'll give you that.

Okay.

It's a TV.

Yeah, but what I say about it is a lot of black people have grown up figuring they felt like a minority.

I didn't.

I felt like the majority.

All my heroes and villains looked like me.

And I grew up as hip-hop grew up, and I grew up as this city grew up.

And this nine-year-old boy dared to dream to be a rapper.

And he made all the mistakes that young men make in urban, you know.

He got into bullshit like selling drugs.

He had babies too young.

He also went to Morehouse College.

He was extremely intelligent.

And he fell in love with the art form that was born in the South Bronx and overtook the world.

And is our number one cultural export to this day?

He was smart because he listened to people on PBS and people like Carlin and people like Pryor and people like you.

He was confident because he saw black success all around him.

And he was very stubborn about stubborn about his dream and that has brought me to get nominated for three Grammys

I mean you mentioned

selling drugs that's something we have in common yeah we do

we do

I don't know I don't really want to shake on it but I mean we're not

I mean well Norianga and Oliver North did so

Good reference there.

Wow.

Yeah, and I know there's a theme in your album, which is guilt.

I mean, you kind of

confront yourself with the guilt you have for abort.

Another thing we have in common.

Abort had that, you know, men feel that guilt.

You're not in the VIP club or nothing.

You didn't do multiples, did you?

Well, let's go to the drugs first.

Okay.

You know, I don't know what you feel guilty about.

I mean, what I feel guilty is like, I started out as a pot dealer, and I had to get through college.

I mean, I wouldn't have been able to go through college, and I was working at Arthur Treatcher's Fish and Chips, and it just wasn't paying.

Yeah.

That it takes to get through Cornell, and it's true.

But then, so, okay, pot dealer, pot's harmless.

But then, like, what you start to do is you sell whatever your dealer has.

Yeah.

So, then it was a little more than just pot.

Yeah.

It led into one of the best conversations of my life, first time I made like 10 grand.

It's a song called Something for Junkies.

No rapper's ever made a record like this you know along with records like motherless but I have a woman who's essentially my aunt which means a good friend of my mother's who I looked at as an aunt and I was just thought I was I thought I was fucking Al Capone I thought I was scarfed and she made me feel like a little boy in an instant she said shit all the niggas y'all getting y'all dope from I fucked them all anyway I could go to them and I was like somebody's like you're my auntie and she was

and She's a very pretty woman and she was true.

She had fucked all the plugs.

But

she said the only reason we come to you is because you treat us like we're human beings and it in that moment that that empathy and humanity never left me so i never was a enthusiastic dealer as much as by proxy i had to more house i remember all the kids at more house we first got their freshman year no one knew where to get pot i was like oh man we go to gucci mash we go to east atlanta And I went and got pot from East Hampton.

I came back and sold and realized this is better than working at UPS.

Way better.

You know?

No, I mean, not better, kids.

Worse.

I say that because in hip-hop's 50th year, I've made the best album because what I have done is taken nearly 50 years of experience and says, well, this is what it's brought us to.

This is what happens after the wire and after snowfall and after things we fetishize about.

This is what happens to intelligent black children when the ability to up to go up through matriculation and education is denied.

And this record, when you get to the end, high and holy, shows you a whole man that's healed, that's forgiven itself, and that's looking forward to forging the next.

Yeah, well, let's talk about looking forward, because I hear people talking about that you could be the mayor of Atlanta.

What?

Well, first, I've been to Atlanta with you.

You are kind of like the king of Atlanta.

And then, of course, who knows from mayor you could become then congressman, governor, whatever it is.

President.

I don't think these...

I don't think any more things like

our past of being drug dealers would affect it.

I mean, we both go to strip clubs.

Yes, we do.

I've been with you.

Yes.

And my wife.

And your wife.

I think people don't understand.

A strip club is more like an after-hour experience.

It's a social environment.

It's a social environment.

Absolutely.

Exactly.

That's what it is.

A social environment.

I thought it was the naked women, but you're right.

It's the social.

I mean, you're socializing.

You're a social.

But it's not really about the sex.

No.

No, maybe.

Hopefully you get some when you go home.

you're riled up for something, but the

women that work in the clubs determine what you're listening to on the radio.

Because if they don't like it, they don't dance to it.

Atlanta Radio doesn't play it, it doesn't become a worldwide hit.

The women who are in the clubs, oftentimes, especially during days, you have the women that are in school.

So, a lot to them go on.

You might see them in your strip club today in your doctor's office in a few years.

I'll give you a story.

I had a teacher.

I had a no bullshit.

I had a teacher.

His name was Mr.

Conyers, and he was an amazing man, Michael Conyers.

His daughter, he succumbed to drug addiction.

I would see him, and I would always treat him with the dignity and respect he deserved because he was an amazing teacher to me.

His daughter ends up waitressing in the strip club we went to.

And she waitressed her way through college, and right at the end of college, she was graduating.

My wife and I told her, okay, it's time for you to retire now.

You don't need to be waitressing here.

You're too brilliant.

She ended up going working for Rapid Transit Authority in Atlanta.

And it was time for me to shoot a video a few months ago.

And I called her.

She said, well, I don't work there anymore in terms of the Rapid Transit Authority, but but I'm going to help you shoot a video on this.

And she got us connected.

And that was because her father, who before becoming an addict, was just a good man and a good teacher to me, which made me and my wife be a good customer to her and that club, which made her go be a good woman and a good public servant.

And came around, I'm shooting a video.

That's the way Atlanta kind of works.

It's a small town operating as a big city.

You're very bullish on the South.

Yes.

And only you think people should,

when they immigrate back?

Yeah, well, Happy Black History Month.

Charles Blow wrote an incredible book I want all non-black people to read as well called The Devil You Know and he has Black Power Down South was the documentary.

And it talks about the matriculation of black people coming back south.

We need to repopulate Atlanta, Birmingham, Tampa, Jacksonville, Columbia, North Carolina, because over 54% of African Americans already live there.

Our power base is there politically.

And economically, it can be too.

And that way you have a base to really say this is what we want and need, and you're not feeling powerless or like a minority.

And

what are your feelings on the election coming up?

I mean Biden and Trump, are you as depressed about that as most people as a choice?

My feeling is pick your policy, not your person.

Find out

this is not the Dallas Cowboys versus your favorite team.

This is the policies that will affect our generations for the next 20, 30, 40 years to come.

So close your eyes, listen to the policies that are being pushed, and

pay attention even to the people who don't have a chance of winning because they're going to say policies you may want to push.

And I would say do that, but make it policy-based.

Make it policy.

So that means

you're for.

That means I'm for black people in happy black history.

But you're not saying one candidate over the other?

Hey, man, my nigga, you ain't going to get me in no trouble tonight.

Hey, Mike.

Mike, Mike.

No, no, that's your job with me to get me in trouble.

My grandfather gave me some stellar advice sometimes.

He said, son, sometimes you just got to know to stay out of white folks' business.

This time, I'm going to keep my mouth closed.

I still like the policy that the old man had that I was supporting.

I would encourage people to find who's supporting that policy and see what.

But you can't get yourself to say vote for Biden over Trump.

You want me to list it now.

So now.

I'm just saying.

Can he get himself to apologize for the crime bill?

Can he get himself to get his head out of his ass and say, black people, you are black regardless.

I need you to tell me what I need to do.

Can he pick a coalition of former people who are affected by drug laws, street gangs, recidivism, and crime, and say, I need you as a board to advise me how to fix federal prisons?

If he can do that, absolutely I can.

So my challenge is out.

All right.

Sunday, the Grammys.

Sunday, the Grammys.

We'll be rooting for you, my friend.

And then Mayor of Atlanta and her ice wife.

All right.

Mike Dunder, tell him Mike.

All right.

Let's greet our panel.

Hey.

Okay.

He is the Republican governor of New Hampshire.

Wow, on our show.

Governor Chris Sinunu.

Hey, Chris, great to have you back.

And she's a co-host of the five on Fox News, Jessica Tarlov, always arguing with the conservatives there.

Okay, I want to start with this Trump Trump trial news today, which really threw me for a loop.

The trial is supposed to be March 4th.

This is the big one, about overthrowing the United States government.

It was going to be March 4th, which I thought was very apropos, because that was the original inauguration day when it took six months.

Yeah, to get to Washington.

Okay.

Claim of presidential immunity.

That's what the issue is.

He's claiming that.

So the judge said they would reschedule this trial if and when.

If and when, the issues?

If and when?

this really blows my mind because here I read the same yesterday swing state voters on a Trump conviction 53 percent of voters in key swing states this is the whole election by the way in eight states would refuse to vote for Trump he would so we don't have this trial this is kind of the election so what WTF is my first question

WTF indeed

and people want you to get jazzed about, well, we'll hear from Alvin Bragg about hush money to a porn star and using 125K and campaign funds because that trial will move up.

And I remember the day that he got indicted for that, and I said out loud on air, we need the Georgia trial or we need the January 6th trial.

Nobody cares about this.

And nobody cares in terms of how they're going to vote about E.G.

and Carroll.

She deserved the money.

He defamed her.

He sexually assaulted her.

But if you're talking about moving an electorate, If you're going to get those 50% of people to say, I can't support this guy, the trials that we're going to have in time are not it.

And it's deeply concerning because people deserve to know who they're voting for.

Exactly.

I mean,

it's a bizarre paradox because March 4th, you know who wants that to happen?

Trump.

Trump, every time the trial hits the front pages, his numbers go up, especially when he's with the big.

No, he does.

Every time he gets to

the business, for the primary, yes.

But obviously, in the general, it crushes him.

In the general, it crushes him.

But all he cares about is securing the nomination.

Okay.

He has the nomination.

Wait, before it first goes.

No, he does not.

We're Nikki Haley.

Nikki Haley, 24.

Okay, okay.

And I mean it.

Let's deal in reality here.

Yeah.

Reality.

Okay, first of all, Nikki Haley's not going to be the nominee.

It is Trump.

Let's not argue about stupid things.

Secondly.

But check out that, though.

You're buying into the fact that the voters don't matter.

Wait a minute.

So I don't buy that.

The voters do matter, and they're voting for Trump overwhelmingly.

But they haven't voted yet.

How can you say that?

You have 18 states.

You have Super Tuesday to come.

How can you say that it's a beta complete?

Okay, I'll bet you 100 to 1.

Look, I'm not saying it's not a big hit.

Michael Decline is a bit more.

I bet $100 of my dollars for one of yours.

The fact that she's gone from 5 to 20 to 45 percent, I mean, come on.

But let me get to the point.

Maybe he has a shot here.

March 4th.

Trump loves this because he doesn't want the trial to happen during the election.

If he wins the election, then there's no trial ever.

And he's head of the Justice Department.

He makes it go away or he pardons himself.

So don't tell me.

But it's going to be a lot of fun.

But he doesn't love it.

There's not going to be some finality before November 5th.

There's not.

There's going to be appeals and all this kind of stuff, but that's going to go on and on.

There'll still be the opening conviction on his record, and people have seen and heard what he had to say.

My personal feeling is independence and swing states are already there.

I mean, they already are, and that Trump, it makes it very, very difficult for Trump to win.

You were Nikki Haley's biggest backer there.

Okay, good.

We're doing great.

You're not doing great.

You're not going to win.

Better than 12 other guys.

Better than 12 other guys who we kicked right out of the race.

Yeah, you've got a great silver medal.

Congratulations.

It's not over yet.

We're still in the race.

Okay, we're still in the race.

But I heard you say...

Very much in the race.

Don't you think Nikki Haley is more like Biden than Trump is like Biden?

Because I've heard you say, if it is Trump, I know, miracle that Trump could pull it out.

But say it is Trump, just hypothetically.

Trump against Biden, you would vote for Trump.

Well, look, according to the polls, Trump would actually make it a nail bitter.

Seven, eight months ago, I think we all said, oh, there's no way Trump could beat Biden.

If Trump versus Biden, you would vote for Trump.

I think most Republicans would.

I know.

There's no question about it.

You would.

Most Republicans would.

I mean, mean, Republican governor, are you shocked by that?

Is that surprising?

No, no, but it's amazing I can't get people to say words like I would vote for Biden.

Is he really that?

I'm doing everything I can, and I wish more people were doing what I was doing in terms of making sure it's not Trump and it's Nikki Haley.

But you should be shocked that the Republican governor is going to support the Republican nominee, as most Republicans and a lot of independents would.

It'll be a nail-biter, which is a shock in itself.

That shock comes from the fact that you are different in the best possible way and that you acknowledge what an existential threat he is to democracy, the country, to our values.

The rest of the Republican governors are pretending as if he's Ronald Reagan and he just curses a lottery.

Let's go back to what Michael just said.

Michael made, he said, let's vote policy, not the person.

If you do that, Trump wins, by the way.

I don't know.

But that's.

Trump wins because you don't like him because of his personality, and neither do I.

I can't stand the personality.

I can't stand the viciousness and all of that.

Whoa, whoa.

But policy-wise,

much better than what Biden is doing.

Whoa, you don't know me like that.

Yeah.

I don't like his personality, that's true.

But if there's one thing that's even worse than his personality, it's his policies.

Can I, let me tell you what his policy is.

Let's just go through the list.

Okay.

He ended abortion in America, basically, with his Supreme Court picks.

Even Republicans hate that.

Started a trade war with China and lost it.

He wants, in the new term, he wants a 10% tariff on all imports.

If you think inflation was bad now, what would that do?

Great policy.

He increased the debt by 39%.

In one term, that's pretty hard.

The stupid wall, which he never even built.

He's talked loosely about nuking North Korea and blaming it on somebody else.

Called Putin a genius.

Talks like Hitler, you know, about like the people are coming here and poisoning our blood.

Shot if you're shoplifting.

Shot.

Quick death.

Penalty for drug dealers.

Military should be going into the city to fight crime.

These are the policies

you think these are all good?

First of all, you're asking the wrong guy to defend Trump, right?

I mean, I'm not going to do that.

But I'm not going to be able to do it for him.

But understand, as would about 51% of America.

So you better have a conversation on the rest of America.

Well, lucky for you.

Lucky for you.

But if I'm...

I'm sorry, go ahead.

Just please.

No, I'm just saying that at this point, the electoral evidence doesn't back up your argument.

He lost in 2020.

He lost in 2022.

Everyone that he backed lost, right, because they're insane.

And there have been seven or eight referendums on the Dobbs decision.

And Democrats and Republicans and those independents who are the Haley backers

showed up in droves.

And now they can't even run the economy anymore.

And the numbers are the Jobs report today was absolutely staggering.

You have people who, you know, hate Joe Biden with their jaws on the floor saying we could not have expected this.

So now they're turning to the border.

I'm not even sure that's going to work for them.

But if I may, in the first nation primary, which we hosted in New Hampshire Hampshire and did an awesome job, we counted the votes.

I was there.

It was great.

The two top issues coming out of the ballot box when folks were pulled, the border, inflation.

Two of the worst issues in terms of Joe Biden.

He has completely ignored those issues, and people are pissed off about it.

Trump connects with their anger, right?

He just does.

It's not about a policy.

It's there is a sense that...

Working class Americans built this country, individuals took up arms and defended this country, and you have a bunch of elitist liberals standing on the shoulders of those families telling them how to live their lives people are pissed and so that's what people are connecting with more than anything and the border and inflation are Joe Biden's weakest points yet they're the two top issues for voters right now yes well

we

this election will probably my guess will probably turn on something like I don't know if you saw this it was I think yesterday in New York City Some illegal immigrants who were brought to the city attacked a bunch of cops.

I think we have video of it.

Awful.

Awful.

Yeah.

Okay, so this is

right.

Now, this is real.

That's what's going to happen with this election, is it's only in eight states.

Most of the country has their mind made up.

No matter what either guy did, it wouldn't change.

It's going to be something like this, that whatever, the 4% of people who actually are undecided in those eight states are going to see something like this.

This is what I worry about.

And is this even real?

I mean, this one is.

But we have, please, we have Biden making robocalls that are not Joe Biden.

We have Taylor Swift having sex with people who are

not Taylor Swift.

I don't think anything in this election can be

certified as real.

But that's what worries me about this election.

Something like that.

And that's an immigration issue, sort of.

It isn't.

Well, it is.

And it ended up being actually good on Governor Abbott to start bussing immigrants all over the country.

When he started with Martha's Vineyard, him and DeSantis, I thought, oh, oh, this is just a political stunt.

It's ridiculous.

And now that you have J.B.

Pritzker and Mayor Adams and Kathy Hochland and the mayors of Baltimore and D.C.

saying we absolutely cannot sustain this influx, everybody feels like they live in Eagle Pass now and has a lot of sympathy for that.

But the reason that I don't think that the election hinges on these issues is: A, we have time.

And Democrats better start fixing it, get tough about these things, say, if you touch a cop, you're deported tomorrow.

That's how it works here.

But are they going to state that?

Well, Kathy Hochul,

her challenger, Lee Zeldon, got much closer than he should have.

What?

He lost by four or five points in blue, New York because she ignored the crime issue and just wanted to talk about abortion.

So I think people are going to pay attention to it.

And there's this misconception amongst conservatives, at least, that I come across, where they think that suddenly we're going to wake up and because a rec center was given to migrant families instead of the kids who deserve to be there, and we believe that, but that we're going to be Republicans, that we're going to ignore our moral compasses and all the policies that you've listed off.

We're going to say, you know what, oh, Donald Trump's not that bad.

I don't know one voter who has changed their mind from 2020, who's going to wake up in 2024 on election day and be like, you know what?

Actually, the last four years have proven to me that Donald Trump is the right man.

If I could, I completely agree with that.

That was my mindset.

If I could, that was my mindset six months ago.

But boy, it's amazing if you look at the fact that New Hampshire, which is a pretty moderate, say, you know, Republican governor, super popular, by the way, fortunate.

But the fact that

he didn't just take, he took 70.

A what?

A Nepo baby.

A Nepo baby.

I mean, that matters.

No, I'm not saying you're not good.

I'm just saying that that helps in politics.

So the fact he took 75% of the Republican vote in the primary when folks were given a really good choice, and a third of the independent vote, a third.

So those numbers are, I would have said no independent is going to go with him.

But you've seen his poll numbers in the last six months go up and up and up.

So again, I go back to the policy issue.

Immigration is very real.

Is Joe Biden going to come out and say that if you attack a cop, you're getting deported?

He's not going to deport it.

Immigration is real, but their reaction to it is not real.

It's all a bunch of acting.

They should be getting an award this award season here.

Because, no, really,

the Republicans act like they want to solve this, but the Democrats called their bluff.

I mean, there is a bill right now.

that a lot of them, Mitch McConnell, like some pretty conservative senators saying, this is as good a deal as you're going to get.

They don't want it because they don't want this issue to be solved.

And so.

Because they need it as an issue.

So you can make speeches like the one you just made about working class and blah, blah, blah.

If they solve the immigration.

Well, that's better than what Trump does.

You know, that,

yeah, that jerking off two guys mode.

As a lady, I can't tell you.

I know, it's just, it's just so gross.

You're absolutely right, which was I have always said when it comes to Washington, D.C., fire them all, right?

And so the one thing that we can...

Fire them all.

In Washington?

Like, what do you mean?

All of them.

Get rid of every one of them.

Have they done anything?

Every one of them.

And replace them with who?

If you replaced every member of the U.S.

Senate with every 100 members of this audience, you think we're going to get less than 100% of the people.

And how do you?

And how do we?

And how do we?

They've set the bar so low.

So, yes, you're absolutely right.

Fire them all.

The one thing you can count on Congress to do is nothing.

But make no mistake about it.

Make no mistake about it.

Joe Biden has a lot of power to change a lot of policy and affect the immigration issue.

That's true.

I was going to say, part two of the acting is

Joe Biden saying, you know what, if you just give me a new law, why doesn't the president can fix this?

He already has the existing law.

And Border Patrol.

I need a piece of paper from Congress to deal with the border.

No, you already have that.

That's right.

That's right.

So he has.

He has some stuff to work with.

He does not have as much as the Republicans are telling you that he does.

And Donald Trump's border was not so much.

He did as much as Trump.

And Obama.

Obama.

Obama supported the most out of any.

Why didn't everyone say that?

So obviously it was in the world.

And there were about $400,000 a year under Obama and Trump.

There's $2 million a year coming across under Trump.

We just don't discuss it.

That is not a COVID.

Of course it is.

Everyone was held back.

And then they were losing.

Wait, the first month when the first caravan came that said iHeart Biden, the pitched?

Caravans failed in 2018, failed in 2020, failed in 2022.

It's a losing cause for Republicans to run exclusively on that.

You need to diversify.

Have something else

like inflation, which is crushing lower influence.

Look at the economic numbers.

So this was the funniest part this week.

Joe Biden said, inflation is down to 5%.

Costs are coming down.

No, inflation at 5% means costs are still going up at 5%.

The president literally doesn't understand Economics 101.

I mean, this is crushing.

You can't go to McDonald's.

No prices are coming down.

That would be deflation.

You can't bring your family to McDonald's for under 35 bucks.

And believe me, middle and lower-income America right now is feeling that very hard.

I live in New Hampshire, and like here, which is beautiful, by the way, it's like 65 out, it's cold.

People cannot put oil in their tanks to heat their homes.

That's crushing.

We're going to get to that in a second, but I just want to say: I mentioned this in the monologue: this thing about Taylor Swift has got to be addressed.

Because

the fact,

and we do.

The fact that the Republican Party is this just bananas over the prospect of a Taylor Swift endorsement, I don't know who this casts a worst shadow on, the people who would just blindly vote for whoever Taylor Swift tells you to vote for,

or

the Republican Party, which is so conspiracy-minded.

So we got a hold of, do I have it?

Oh, I guess we have it in the still store.

This issue of MAGA Monthly.

Do you get MAGA Monthly?

It's a great magazine.

And

this week it's all about the, now this is the big conspiracy theory, Tyler Swift and Kelsey Travis, but Travis Kelsey, but there's some other ones.

Would you like to hear the other ones that are in the magazine?

Okay.

For example,

the magazine has sitcom shucker Gilligan was shipwrecked on Epstein's Island.

Labradoodles, adorable crossbreed or Chinese lab experiment gone wrong.

Revealed, Hillary killed Tupac.

Oh, well,

the post office knows where you live.

True MAGA story.

I caught a crisis actor in bed with my wife.

That's not really a.

Is Richard Simmons really Amelia Earhart?

Well.

MAGA investigates have homosexuals infiltrated Broadway.

That may have already happened.

I don't know.

Ten things to shove in your ass to beat COVID.

How the Chinese tricked Ron DeSantis into wearing girl boots.

And book bonus, supporting Israel while still hating Jews.

Okay, sorry.

You were going to.

Yes, sir, you wanted to say something?

No,

I'm just going to say thank you.

My subscription was canceled mysteriously recently, so I appreciate you bringing the headlines to.

My pleasure.

All right.

I'm going to,

something happened today that's kind of important and we should mention, and it gets, you mentioned oil.

And I was talking about Trump's policies.

They're all connected.

Today, we hit 85 targets in Syria and Iraq.

As you know, last week there were three Americans killed because there have been over 150 strikes.

If people don't know the big background of this, the October 7th Hamas attack on Israel and the war of retaliation that Israel is conducting still as we speak, this has kind of opened a lot of wounds that were barely covered in the Middle East.

But if people don't follow it that closely, Iran, if you can picture Iran, it's next to Iraq, which is next to Syria, which is next to Lebanon.

That is all kind of the new Persian Empire.

This was the stupid policy of George Bush.

We kicked over Iraq, and now it's basically a little empire of the, this is the Shiite Muslims, Hezbollah in Lebanon, Iraq, Syria, Iran, and in Yemen.

The Houthis are also a Shiite group.

Okay, so they kind of have Israel surrounded.

This is what's going on in the Middle East.

People are worried about a wider, is it going to turn into a wider war?

I think that camel has left the stable.

I think it's already there.

So here's what.

So we hit

85 targets in zero.

We're not hitting Iran itself.

That's key.

Biden said it will continue at times and places of our choosing.

Exactly word for word what Bush said when he went into Iraq.

Word for word, I think.

The National Security Advisor said these strikes were likely just the beginning.

So basically, we're doing a Kosovo thing, what we did in the Balkans in the 90s, just a bombing campaign.

Sounds like we're going to be bombing a lot.

We don't want troops on the ground.

We don't want another full-scale war in the Middle East.

My question is, what would Trump be doing differently?

Because it's so easy, always, of course.

It's so boring.

Everybody has to shit on whatever the guy does who's in office who you don't like.

What would Trump really be doing differently?

Would he be getting us into a bigger war?

Because that would be stupider.

Would he be doing nothing?

No.

Presidents basically are given crappy situations, and they deal with it.

What would Trump be doing differently?

My guess is not much.

I mean, in terms of having the initial pushback, which we absolutely have to do, let's not forget the top line of the story is always three Americans were killed by a drone, right?

And that's really what instigated this,

even beyond the October 7th attack in terms of America's much more direct involvement.

And if they're smart, whether you're Biden or Trump or hopefully Nikki Haley, you're listening to the folks that protect this country.

The experts that protect this country at the Department of Defense.

They were strategic in terms of how they were going about it.

We're not carpet bombing all over the place.

But to your point, yeah, this is probably going to keep escalating a little bit.

But let's also remember, last time I checked, there was some Middle East turmoil prior to the year 2000.

This has been going on for years.

But if I can go back to one more stupid Trump policy, he took us out of the Iran nuclear deal.

It was not perfect, no deal ever was.

But it was putting us on a path where Iran wasn't the big enemy.

Pulling out of that, I think, leads directly to this.

You're okay with Iran having all those billions in cash?

But they didn't actually get billions in cash.

And there was finally oversight.

I'd rather them have cash than nuclear weapons.

What do they do with the cash?

They're not going to Miami Beach.

They're buying weapons for all of these other people.

Nuclear weapons.

It was a nuclear deal to stop a country we don't want to have.

They're still arming.

Hezbollah.

They're arming the folks in Gaza.

They're arming the Houthis.

They're arming all of these surrogate

groups that have now attacked and killed Americans.

They are armed with the U.S.

Because we made them the enemy again.

So it's our fault?

It's that Iran is

arming people against us.

It's not our fault, but we could have handled the hand better.

Yes.

Obama was trying to bring them into the family of nations, which could have been done.

We never gave it a chance.

We strangled that deal in the Caribbean.

It was working.

Iran was not going to get a new...

Iran was going to be our friend?

Really civilized.

Oh, come on.

They used to be.

Why wouldn't they not?

They're not an uncivilized people.

That's naive.

Not the people, the leadership.

Completely uncivilized.

But look at the evolution even with Saudi, right?

Saudi's now our, quote, friend, right?

Or as close as as it's going to get.

It didn't used to be that way.

We're not talking about friends like, let's go grab a beer together.

We're talking about like, let's make a deal.

Right.

Maybe you could stop killing Jews.

Right.

Maybe you could not have a nuclear weapon.

Right.

And if you hold them to account that way, that's good diplomacy.

And I think that that is why Joe Biden is having a moment in this arena because what I think may have been different under Trump, and I know that he paid a lot of lip service, like I'm the most pro-Israel.

I can't do his voice.

You do it way better than I do.

No, No, I'm the most pro-Israel president moving the embassy to Jerusalem, et cetera.

Right after October 7th, he came out, started talking shit about Bibi, right?

Saying that this was his fault and he was weak.

And it's not as if Joe Biden doesn't see the connection between what Beebe was doing in terms of trying to turn the courts in his favor and distracting, having to put the troops on the other side of the country.

But

Joe Biden is now, unfortunately, I guess to your point about the camel leaving the station, or the stable.

The manger, the manger.

You know, he's probably going to face being some sort of a wartime president going into an election.

And it doesn't work the same way as it did with George W.

Bush, right?

We all were behind him when he was going for re-election.

This is not a war that a majority of Americans, especially if we keep losing Americans.

If I may, Iranian leadership has one goal.

to support organizations to kill every Jew in the Middle East.

Murder.

Second Holocaust.

To think that you're going going to change their minds.

And

we can get them to go a little lighter.

Guys, no, no, no, no, no.

This is an enemy.

And if you're going to go in and say, they're our enemy, but maybe we can kind of negotiate with them, sort of, kind of.

You just let them,

you pull back and you let them

go.

You show results.

But that's how governments change.

You get the people involved.

You get the people so they're not against America more than they're against their own government.

Every time Iranians change.

You devolve, they get murdered by their own government.

I understand.

But governments do change.

You do realize the Iranians hate their own government, many of them.

So that was possible.

It was possible to make that move.

But again, okay, let me go to another issue because I know you guys have kids, and this was the big story yesterday.

There was a hearing on Congress called, they have to name here.

I don't get this.

Branding.

It's all about branding.

Big Tech and the Online Child Sexual Exploitation Crisis.

Sounds like a Harry Potter movie.

Big Tech and the Online.

Okay, so this is pretty dramatic.

They had the CEOs of X, Twitter.

I'm going to call it Twitter until I've died.

I don't care.

Snap,

Discord, TikTok, and Zuckerberg from Meta was there.

Okay, and they all got yelled at.

Lindsey Graham said they were bastards.

And they have blood on their hands.

Blood on their hands.

You did the Lindsey Graham looking paper really well.

Blood on their hands.

And there was a very dramatic moment.

I think we have the picture where Zuckerberg is apologizing to these people, and they're holding up the pictures of their kids kids who died

because they were bullied on Instagram.

Or bought drugs or

Snapchat.

They committed suicide.

Okay, now I've been a big critic of social media.

I don't get it.

I don't get why that's better than life.

I feel like life was way better before, but

I don't know, and I'm sure the companies can do more.

But my view, and again, I don't have kids.

Thank you, Jesus.

But you got to, I just feel like the source of this is not Meta or the companies, it's the parents.

First of all, the parents,

I think,

why can't they just say no phones?

But they would never do that.

Because they like the phones, because

they have to know if they're precious is safe at all times.

And you have to text them to come downstairs for dinner.

I got a mom that cares about her kid.

But cares too much.

And I couldn't agree more.

I think phones need to be banned in schools and the whole thing.

But I'll say this.

Like, my kid can't get his homework unless he's online.

That's just the way schools work now.

To have a kid without a phone, a teenagers.

I don't let my kids have phones till teenagers.

I think to your point, though, is this.

Number one, New Hampshire has sued these companies.

Why?

Because we want money back to invest in mental health and all that sort of thing.

So the message was right out of Congress.

But here's the problem.

Where we start in the beginning.

What does Congress do best?

Nothing.

So what did they get?

They got some parents that I'm sure felt listened to, and that was very powerful.

But what are they going to do now?

Do you know half of those folks on that committee probably went back and tweeted on social media how they really just gave it to Zuckerberg?

Think about the hypocrisy of that, right?

The hypocrisy.

You're right.

So what are they going to do?

What's the follow-on action?

America needs to see follow-on action.

If Congress is going to make a spectacle of it, that's great.

Let's bring it to the forefront.

But we need to see action.

Do something for those parents, because otherwise, you're just using those parents for your own social media posts.

Let's make sure those kids are not forgotten.

You're driving whether it's penalties, fines, a change in policy, whatever it is, so that again the future generation doesn't have the same crisis that those people.

You down with that?

No, I'm totally down with that.

And there is legislation that the CEO of Snapchat has said that he'd sign on to, the Kids Online Safety Act.

It's bipartisan.

It's like the only thing Marsha Blackburn ever did that I liked, that

she's part of it.

And I think that they should take responsibility.

If people who work at these companies, and I get at it, that it's their job to make tons of money and to find out our value, I think it was something disgusting, like $270 is the cost of a life for these social media companies.

But if you're not going to have a real repercussion that is commensurate with the outcomes you're having, which is death.

So

it sucks to go to DC and have to spend the night there or whatever, but they're back in the bay and they're all fine today.

Remember to like and subscribe.

All right, it's time for new rules.

New rules!

Okay,

new rule, if an asteroid isn't going to hit Earth, I don't need to hear about it.

And I especially don't need to hear how big it is compared to something on Earth.

Asteroid the size of a bridge.

Asteroid the size of a house.

Look at this one from AccuWeather.

Asteroid the size of 350 giraffes.

We're counting in giraffes now?

Wow, I thought the metric system was confusing.

Neural, you can't look at the photo of this religious devotee who has the name of the Hindu god Ram tattooed all over his face without taking away a very powerful lesson.

Never pass out at a fraternity house in Tibet.

Nerul, stop wondering if Ozempic is one of those drugs that turns out to kill you.

Yes, 100%.

It will.

Weight-lost drugs are like mail-order brides.

They make your friends jealous for a year and then they kill you.

Near all teenage girls have to stop swooning over Rashid, the Oofi pirate who's just dreamy.

Look at these real comments.

He can hijack me.

Hello, future husband, and not only heroes, but good-looking too.

Okay, first, they're not heroes, dipshit.

And second, he lives on a boat with 50 other pirates.

Do you know what that smells like?

There's not enough Axe body spray in the world, girlfriend.

Trust me, you're better off with your first brush, the Boston Marathon Bomber.

New rule, never rely on autocorrect to do your spelling for you.

A pizza hut in Ontario posted a sign on its door telling customers that it was closed for the day due to unforeseen circumcision.

And don't even ask about the tip jar.

Okay.

All right.

And finally,

New Rule, if you want to know why your kids are so bratty entitled and always asking for your credit card, check their Spotify playlists.

Because the messages they're hearing are a full 180 from what kids used to hear when they turned on the radio.

Sinead O'Connor will be in the in memoriam reel at the Grammys this Sunday, and it would be great if they quoted what she said when she once pulled out of the show in protest.

She said, There is an emphasis in pop music on materialism, and it's not right to give people the message that they can fill their emptiness with material things.

So, how about this year for a new Grammy category?

Best song where no one brags about buying a lot of shit.

And before 1990, there were like two songs ever that glorified money.

Money, That's what I want.

And Material Girl.

Well,

here's a short sampling of some more recent offerings.

And that's just the ones that have money in the title.

Why does this matter?

Because nothing molds teenage hearts and minds like music and music culture.

This is true across generations.

When you turn 12, you're done with your parents and start getting raised by pop stars.

The older people have the money and the power, but kids rule the charts.

And the lyrics of your youth are burned into your brain like that time you saw your father getting out of the shower.

I don't remember a lot from eighth grade.

Don't get me on the formula for the radius of a circle.

But if you asked me to finish the lyric, all you need is, I'm pretty sure I could come up with love.

But if I asked a kid today to finish that lyric, what would they say?

I'm not sure, but I know what their heroes say.

They say things like, diamonds on my neck, I like boarding jets, but nothing in this world that I like more than checks.

And sure, it started in rap, but everybody does it now.

Damn, I love the jag, the jet, and the mansion.

Even country music has songs like Rolex on a Redneck.

Really?

The band Florida, Georgia Line has one about how pimpy their truck is.

I don't know, but maybe this kind of unbridled lusting for material things is actually the kind of grooming parents should be worried about.

We went from, so we don't have a pot, but at least I'm sure of all the things we got, to, I want to be a billionaire so fucking bad.

Kids blame my generation for ruining the planet, but good luck saving it, kids, if this is what you're always dreaming about.

Always hearing a drumbeat that happiness results from getting things, things that a vast majority don't have.

The pop stars of my youth, Their message to me was that what made them happy was available to me too.

Even though we ain't got money,

I'm so in love with you, honey.

Yeah.

I don't need no money.

I've got all the riches, baby, one man can claim.

Can't buy me love.

You don't have to worry if you got no money.

People on the river are happy to give.

The monkeys sang, our good times start and end without dollar one to spend.

But how much, baby, do we really need?

Kanye says, Lamborghini, mercy, your chick, she's so thirsty.

I'm in that two-seat Lambo with your girl.

She's trying to jerk me.

To which the monkey said, it was more of a rhetorical question.

John Lennon said, imagine no possessions.

I wonder if you can.

And 10,000 rappers said, we can't and we don't want to.

And you know what?

You know what?

I don't blame them.

I get where this comes from.

There is a racial element to this.

Suburban white hippie kids had the luxury of being anti-materialistic because they were never denied material things in the first place.

There's a reason Jimmy Buffett didn't sing about bling.

He was already eating a cheeseburger in paradise.

But the history of black people in America is the history of being denied the means and often even the right to buy stuff, including a home in the neighborhood you might want to live in.

So when the long denied finally becomes available, there's going to be some flaunting.

If you were excluded from luxury and then finally got it, you wouldn't want to shut up about it either.

But forever?

And not just in rap, everybody does it.

And if your answer to that is okay, boomer,

that's not an answer.

And vomiting an inventory of your possessions doesn't make you a poet.

And

it's been done to death.

Aren't you tired of it?

I'm old.

This shit is old.

Get a second idea for a song.

Well,

actually, there is one.

Sadness.

Hmm.

Maybe they're connected.

Yeah, Spotify actually has data on the types of songs the kids like, and it shows that Gen Z's number one search last summer was sad.

Artists like Billie Eilish and Demi Lovato have pioneered a whole new genre called sad bops.

A good beat, you can dance to it, and then you want to slit your throat.

I'm just saying maybe they're connected.

The good news is I've seen the music industry clean up its act before.

Not with sexual assault, they're still doing that.

But at least with the message of the music, which for quite a long time was dominated with tearjerkers like slob on my knob like corn on the cob and

bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks and slut you think I won't choke no whore.

It was ugly, ugly, very sexist, and very homophobic.

There was iced tea and ice cube, but no ice cupades.

And we were okay with it until we weren't.

And maybe it's time now.

It's not to be okay with teaching kids you're only as good as how much stuff you have.

All right, that's our show.

I'll be at the MGM Grand in Vegas, February 16th and 17th, the Hobby Center in Houston, March 2nd, on the Plaza in El Paso, March 3rd.

I want to thank Governor Chris Anunu, Jessica Trilov, and Killer Mike.

Now go watch this on Overtime on YouTube.

Thank you, folks.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.

For more information, log on to HBO.com.