Ep. #568: Neil deGrasse Tyson, Rachel Bitecofer, Rob Reiner

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

Tires matter.

They're the only part of your vehicle that touches the road.

Tread confidently with new tires from Tire Rack.

Whether you're looking for expert recommendations or know exactly what you want, Tire Rack makes it easy.

Fast, free shipping, free road hazard protection, convenient installation options, and the best selection of Firestone tires.

Go to tire rack.com to see their Firestone test results, tire ratings, and reviews.

And be sure to check out all the special offers.

TireRack.com, the way tire buying should be.

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Maher.

Thank you.

Thank you, folks.

Okay.

Still

distancing, are we?

Okay.

Thank you.

I appreciate it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you very much.

Okay.

Lot way, lot to get to today.

Joe Biden, first trip overseas.

He is at this hour in England.

He has embarked on his Sorry About the Last Guy tour.

He's going to meet with the G7 people.

Did you see this?

He landed at the airport and a cicada

landed on him.

And

I can't even.

QAnon thinks this is very significant.

No, seriously.

Because, you know, they're all about the letter Q, and it's the 17th letter of the alphabet.

And the cicadas come out every 17 years,

and it landed on Biden, so

the cicadas put out a statement today.

They said, could you not drag us into this bullshit, please?

We're just cicadas.

But

Sunday, Biden is going to go to Windsor Castle to meet with the queen, the newly widowed queen.

He was going to express his condolences for her losing Prince Philip, and she's going to express her condolences for Joe losing Joe Manchin.

This Joe Manchin, boy, have you been reading about him?

For a Democrat, he is the most powerful Republican in the Senate.

I tell you, this guy,

he has blocked every big thing that the Democrats want to do, the voting rights legislation, the January 6th Commission, even infrastructure.

That's fucking dead now.

The talks broke down.

They said, because of, I love this, irreconcilable differences,

which sounds to me like a marriage

or a divorce,

which is appropriate considering next year they may get the House.

But Democrats did win one this week, the Keystone pipeline.

You're familiar?

That's dead now.

And you seem excited about that.

No, no.

Yeah, it's probably not good, but don't be too happy because shutting it down will cost thousands of jobs, mostly of hackers in Moscow who are going to ransom it for Bitcoin.

But they are jobs.

Also,

speaking of which, we found out this week that, not we didn't find out, we've known this, but it's worse than ever, billionaires, and I'm talking about the top of the top, of the, to the richest of the rich, don't pay any taxes.

And this is the kind of stuff that really pisses people off.

Jeff Bezos this morning was walking down his driveway, and he found out somebody keyed his rocket.

You know, people are pissed.

Yeah.

He's, oh, you know, he's

got a rocket company.

I mean, you got to, if you got that kind of money, you got to have a rocket company.

Schmuck didn't have a rocket company?

He's got one.

Muscle's got one.

His is named Blue Origin.

And it's going to make its first manned, manned, first space flight next month.

This is their maiden voyage.

And Jeff Bezos is going to be on the rocket.

I'm telling you, wouldn't you, if you had that kind of money, let someone else in the company go up first?

Wouldn't you?

Like, hey,

you know what?

And Bob in the warehouse.

I'd like to drive in space.

You seem to work.

I'll go up next.

But I know what's going to happen now.

Amazon is going to completely take over space, and they're going to put all the mom and pop astronauts out of business.

But look,

we've got problems here on Earth.

Did you see, poor Kamala Horatz, Biden dumped the border problem in her lap, you know, so she was getting testy with reporters this week because they're like, you're not fixing the border crisis.

Well, a little perspective.

Mike Pence, his biggest accomplishment was not being hung by his own people.

So

as vice presidents go.

But, I mean, Kamala did go down to Guatemala this week.

Did you see that?

And she said, it's pretty out there.

She said, you know, don't come.

She said to these people, if you come to the border, you will not get in.

And this did not make anyone happy.

The left said it was against their values.

The right said it didn't go far enough.

And everyone here in California said, where are we going to get our nannies?

Yes, California, we're back, baby.

June 15th.

Yes.

Maybe we will, maybe we can stop this silly distancing and masking bullshit.

Tuesday, California lifts its restrictions.

Yes.

And I see not everyone applauding because that's true.

A lot of people out here, a lot of people everywhere, I don't understand these people.

They say they're going to continue to wear masks even after they sound the all-clear.

It's like having sex with a condom and then saying, you know, I think I'll just leave it on for the rest of the night.

I,

you know,

look, you're never going to have a 100%

COVID-free atmosphere.

Viruses always stay.

Yes, there's always variants.

I can't guarantee everything.

We just have to live again.

The new variant they're so afraid of, you know, they have to name them now with weird names.

This one's called Delta.

It's like the regular COVID, except there's always a layover in Atlantic.

Anyway,

let's end tonight with the big important news.

A new royal baby is in the world as of this week.

Megan Markle delivered it.

There's a Duchess of Santa Barbara now.

Her name is Lilibet Diana Mountbatten Windsor, and she will now join her toddler brother Archie and Harry and Megan in their mansion in Santa Barbara.

Just what that household needs.

More pissing and whining.

All right, we've got a great show.

We've got Rob Ryder and Rachel Binnekocher.

First up, he is an astrophysicist with the American Museum of Natural History, host of the Webby Award-winning podcast, Star Talk, and author of the new book, Boy Is He Busy.

Cosmic Queries.

Please welcome our friend Neil deGrasse.

Tyson is over here.

Some hell of them.

Get this room.

Hello, Mr.

Personality.

How are you doing?

Always good to see you.

Just trying to keep the universe,

and I have so many great questions.

Somebody's got to do it.

You are the

sheriff of the universe.

I always call you.

But the book, great book, because it's sort of like a companion piece to your podcast, which is awesome.

And it's about the big questions.

And

I'm going to get to the biggest one first:

Jewish Space Lasers.

How do the Jews get them up there?

Jews are all powerful, apparently.

Yes.

Okay.

But the questions you're really asking are the ones that, you know, I always say the ones that make your head hurt.

Yeah.

Because there are, you know, you can go, the Big Bang, we're going to get into that, but like, what happened, what's before the Big Bang?

That's a head hurter.

Why is there anything?

Right?

I mean.

These are whole chapters in the book.

I know.

That's why I'm bringing it up.

You know, why is there anything?

And if there was nothing, is nothing not something?

Oh,

that's your opening salvo, okay?

Take it away.

All right.

While I give you an answer, just contemplate this.

If Pinocchio said, my nose is about to grow,

what would it do?

I get it.

Just think about that while I give you the answer to this.

No, there's a whole, the book opens with just how did it all begin?

But it goes through these other questions that we've all carried with us.

If you didn't carry it with you, you stumbled on it.

And then you took pause in your life to reflect on it.

How did it all begin?

What's it all made of?

Are we alone in the universe?

That's big news of recent months and how will it all end i'm gonna get to that but let's get with how it all began first because um i want to ask you about the big bang theory okay not the show the actual theory if you type big bang theory into google first thing is the is the tv show and i i don't know if that's good or bad that's bad okay

we know that's bad okay okay

so okay but i you're the guy who can answer this question for me how settled is it because on a scale of evolution okay, when

Darwin's Origin of Species is published in 1859, it wasn't settled science in 1860.

They debated it for decades, as science should.

People said, well, let's try to poke holes in it.

They didn't.

Now it's settled science.

I'd like to say the same thing about global warming being man-made.

I think it is in the scientific community, not so much in the political community.

But what about the Big Bang theory?

Is that something we're totally now, everybody who has your brain, all of eight people,

they're down with this?

Yes, because it's settled.

It satisfies all of the observational data that needs accounting for are neatly contained within the understanding that comes to us from the Big Bang.

The universe is bigger today than it was yesterday.

The universe is hotter yesterday than it was today.

So you go back far enough, 14 billion years,

all of the known universe was in the same place at the same time at a stupendously high temperature.

And then you could say, how do you know you weren't there?

Well, if matter and energy are at that temperature, it comes with consequences.

So we say, what would happen if matter and energy were at that temperature for this long?

You get about this much hydrogen in the universe, about that much helium.

You get this much.

It was all condensed.

Yes.

This is amazing because we're talking about trillions

of stars, which are big.

Oh, oh way more than trillions yeah okay all in one okay why do it that way why start the universe that way like boom bang let's all mash it up and then boil it up why do it that way that's why people invent religion to account for why

in science we will tell you how that happened right but you want to know if there's purpose to it That's a philosophical bordering on religious question that some people feel the need to reach for and possibly find.

And many questions on the frontier of our knowledge, frontier of our ignorance, land squarely in the lap of the armchair philosopher or the religious

holy person on the mount.

So

that's neither of us.

Neither.

That's correct.

But I'm content saying I can explain this.

I know I can account for how that happens.

And that's a profound place to be because most of the history of human civilization, we had no accounting of things.

I mean, it sounds crazy but you're a lot smarter than the preacher so i'm gonna go with you okay that's that's really where i'm at because i certainly

i you know it's it's frustrating because

because i personally can't get to that place where i go oh yeah sure all matter one place got it well i just have to my my faith is in you okay but i don't need your faith yeah i don't need your faith um because try to be nice because

i love your support yes i i

never mind.

So I don't need your faith.

We just need evidence in support of the claim.

Well, you and allow me to also say that the universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.

Right.

Look, I don't even fucking think about this shit unless you're on the show.

So.

No, I do, actually.

Okay, I actually do.

But a couple of things.

So if you ask me what was before the Big Bang, I'll say, we have some ideas, but I don't really know.

And I'm okay with that.

Because as a scientist, you need to learn to love the questions themselves.

Right.

Lest you just start throwing answers in so you can go to bed at night and not lose sleep.

Oh, right.

I have so many bigger things to lose sleep.

Trump is still out there.

Are you kidding?

You think I'm worried about the universe?

Wait a minute.

Can I comment on that?

Just to bring a cosmic perspective to that sentence.

Yes.

Trump

is the brunt of most of your jokes on most of these nights.

No, he's not.

You don't watch this show.

A lot of them.

Okay, that was.

Yeah, when he was president.

When he was president, yes, yes.

But I'm just saying, 76 million people voted for him.

So your enemy is not him.

It's fellow citizens.

No, that's wrong.

We're on the wrong subject here, politics.

But no.

You can hate Trump.

You can't hate the people who voted for him.

That's half the country.

You cannot hate half the country.

They put him into office.

They put him into office for a lot of different reasons.

For a lot of different reasons.

I'm an educator, and so I care about the electorate.

Yeah, I do too.

And that's not the way to win them back.

I think so.

You tell them the deplorable and you hate them.

No, I don't.

That's not what I tell them.

I just educate them.

Okay.

Let's move on to the field we're here for.

Okay, fine.

Because you mentioned UFOs.

Well, there's a chapter in the book called, Well, Are We Alone in the Universe?

Right.

Yeah, that's UFOs.

Yeah.

Or as the government calls it, UAPs.

That's their unidentified aerial phenomenon.

That's their not-so-transparent translation of UFOs.

Are we married?

You're fighting everything I say to you.

Everything I say is.

You just want to

pick a fight.

Go, go.

Okay, but look, this has changed radically in the last year because in the past, if you had said UFOs, I would have said, well, maybe.

It's certainly not unscientific to think that they could be out there or here.

But in the last year or so now, things have changed a lot.

Our Navy pilots have come forward and said, there are things we see all the time and we cannot explain, and they move in ways that we do not know how they move, and we can't move that way.

And very serious people like John Brennan and Harry Reid have said the same thing.

We are looking into this.

They said we're not denying it anymore.

So,

you, great person to answer this question.

UFOs, I mean, what's the deal?

How much time do you have?

having?

No, no, it's it's there the universe brims with mysteries.

I think the way you should come at this is from another direction and ask, if we are, in fact, being visited by intelligent aliens from another planet,

why would they only reveal themselves to Navy pilots?

Why would

none of them ever show up in the six billion color high-resolution photos and videos human beings are uploading to the internet every day?

Because human beings aren't up in space taking pictures where the Navy pilots are and is the why is their best image of an alien a fuzzy monochromatic tic-tac on a on a display screen I'm just saying well what do you think then what do you think it is I don't know and I'm happy saying I don't know that's what the U stands for in when identified you can't say you can't say

It's a UFO and it's doing weird things.

Therefore, I know what it is.

You just admitted you don't know what it is.

Yes, but that's the beginning of the debate.

I agree.

We all agree.

I'm saying there's definitely UFOs.

I'm saying we don't know, but now people who never came forward before, serious people, military people.

That doesn't matter.

Are you human?

You are equally susceptible to delusion, to

bias.

To say it's a Navy pilot with

things, that doesn't, I don't care, they're human.

So what else could it be?

I don't know.

Okay?

Right.

But just because we don't know what else is going on.

I agree, but it doesn't mean it's visiting aliens from outer space.

No, but if there's not even one other theory, it loads the gun.

I have one.

Okay, sorry.

It loads the gun.

I got one.

I got one.

You ready?

Yeah.

Okay.

Every piece of hardware I've ever seen and software I've ever seen programmed has glitches every time every one.

So that's why you have software updates all the time.

Great.

Let's go with that.

So I'm saying that

the imaging system that they're using could have glitches.

Okay.

And they'll say, we checked it, it it doesn't have glitches.

Okay, are you so sure it doesn't have glitches that you'd rather believe it doesn't have glitches so that you can now say we're being visited by intelligent aliens from another planet or unknown physics?

That's a huge leap.

If there are aliens and they do come here, do you think they might have the answers to these questions that we don't know?

I would, no, really.

I mean, wouldn't that be great if they came here and we said, hey,

what happened before the Big Bang?

And they're like,

ask?

Yeah, Lil Junior knows that.

Right, right, right.

So it's right on my phone.

I lose sleep at night wondering whether we, who we define as the first truly intelligent species on Earth, have sufficient intelligence to answer the questions we've posed about the universe.

And I further worry whether we're intelligent enough to even know what questions to ask.

Well, I'm not happy now.

Thank you for coming.

You're always ready to talk to.

Wish you could be here longer.

I'll see you for dinner later.

All right.

Let's meet our panel.

All right.

How to hear?

She is a political scientist and co-founder of Strike BC.

Rachel Bittakoffer is over here.

Good to see you again.

And you all know this guy, an actress and filmmaker who's directed and starred in pretty much all of your favorite movies over the last decades.

Rob Reiner is over here.

How are you?

I'm good.

We're good.

Bill, when are we gonna get closer?

When is the time going to come?

When we're not so far away.

I want to ask you for the salt.

We're going to get to this issue because it's pissing me off.

It would be yesterday.

Yes.

But soon.

Yeah, good.

Because I want to be closer to you.

Not for any other reason that we can communicate better.

Well, I'd take that up.

That's Rob Reiner, dude.

This Sounds weird.

Demogras Tyson's fighting with me.

You want to get closer to me?

Am I cologne?

Am I wearing something?

Okay, so listen, last week we were, it seems like every week, but this is an issue that's come up every week, is that there are people in this country who want to stop this from being a democracy, and there's just no bigger issue.

Okay, so we were talking about how do we get the Democrats, what do the Democrats do

to stop this monkeying behind the scenes with what's going on with our records?

I read this week, there are now death threats from Trump people on election employees, you know, people who run elections.

I mean, they just, there are nothing that they will not try.

And we're talking about replacing people who actually count the votes.

It's one thing to stop people from voting, that's wrong, but replacing the people who certify the votes.

Obama this week on TV said the Republican Party is willing to embrace a way of thinking about democracy that would be unrecognizable and even unacceptable even five years ago.

Now, I was told you were watching this last week, and you said, I know what the Democrats can do, so I'm anxious to hear that.

Yeah, in fact, I was like the ghost of Christmas Pass and Scrooge yelling during Let's Make a Deal, take the box, take the box, right?

So, yes, I have a solution, right?

But it's not an easy pill.

I mean, this is a bold idea.

We have to stop sucking at electoral politics if we want to take power and hold off this democratic coup that's coming.

You're talking about voter suppression, right?

And so, you know, it's election rigging, right?

They're closing the polling booths and the metros and they're expanding access in the rural areas.

And then it's not an idea.

They're putting provisions in these laws that are going to allow, if you overcome that in Georgia or Texas, for them to say, you know what, this doesn't seem right to us.

So we're just not going to count the vote.

We're still not getting to the part of what we do.

So what we need to do, what we need to do, Bill, is we need to start fighting them fire with fire, okay?

Because they're going to come out in this electoral cycle, which begins already because we've got off-year election here in the recall, right?

I mean, that Newsom is.

What do we do?

Yeah, Newsom isn't getting recalled.

He's getting recalled as a strategic attack for them to consolidate power.

So what we need to do is fortify that path to power consolidation.

And that means we got to be better at messaging and better at electioneering right away, like yesterday.

That's a disappointing answer.

No, I have an answer.

I mean, I'm talking about stopping the actual...

Now, Merrick Garland, our Attorney General, who should be on this, finally today made a speech about this.

He said he's going to double the number of staff.

in the Justice Department Civil Rights Division dedicated to protecting voting rights.

I don't know what that will actually do, but it's a start.

He said, so far this year, at least 14 states have passed new laws that make it harder to vote.

We are scrutinizing new laws like that, and where we see violations, we will not hesitate to act.

Sounds vague to me, but at least it seems like he's aware of it.

I still don't know what you're doing.

No, no, but the thing is,

that's all well and good, but all that means is you can prosecute somebody who would break those laws.

We have to get laws in place that protect our right to vote.

There are a number of bills in front of Congress.

There's HR1, there's S1, there's a

John Lewis Act.

Those have to get passed.

If they don't get passed, if we do not secure our right to vote.

But they're not going to get passed because

they don't even have 50 votes.

Well, they don't have 50 because of

the money.

So if you get right now, Joe Manchin and by the way, Kristen Sinema was one of the sponsors of S1.

Okay, well, she's against Sina.

Okay, wait a minute.

So now

you need 60 right now, and Joe Manchin has said,

I'm not going to break the filibuster.

It's going to take Joe to Joe.

Joe Biden is going to have to talk to Joe Manchin and say, we have a chance here to either preserve.

You don't think he's already done that?

Not the way it needs to be done.

With it twisting his arm behind his arms.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not twisting an arm.

You're not going going to convince this Joe Manchin.

Yes, you can.

So listen, Phil.

Yes, you can.

Democrats have no answer.

I'm sorry.

They have no good answer.

It is a good answer.

Curly,

that's all right.

That's your answer.

Joe Biden has to be more persuasive in the rules.

Because unless you're aware of the fact that the people

unless you put voting rights in front of the people and say this does not require

the filibuster and remove the filibuster just for that, there may be a way to say, to Joe mentioned, either you choose democracy or the filibuster.

And that's exactly what we do in these upcoming ads.

But West Virginia.

But here's the thing.

He only cares about getting re-elected in West Virginia.

That's right.

And West Virginians right now are thrilled beyond belief with what Biden has done with COVID relief, and they'll be thrilled with what happens in infrastructure, and that will pass.

And we should have

in North Carolina right now in our pocket.

But we dropped those races, so you don't want to hear about a long-term strategy.

But let me tell you,

we don't have time for a long-term strategy.

The pathway is to keep.

Well,

let's talk about winning because we're not winning this argument.

The Democrats did an autopsy.

It seems like they're doing, every party, it seems like they're always doing an autopsy.

But this is about the 2020 vote to see why they didn't do better.

They should have done better.

Obviously, Biden won, but they didn't win the Senate.

They lost all the state houses.

Okay.

We did win the Senate.

Yeah, only after

a a second election, where we came in and finally got the Democrats' shit together so they ran on COVID relief checks direct to your pocket.

Right, and you're going to run on that and infrastructure.

50-50 to me is not winning anymore.

No, and they lost 12 House seats, and I have these guys tell me that they thought they were going to be able to do that.

Winning is when you have more.

We picked up seats, though, in the Senate.

We picked up seats.

Okay.

Not as many as we should have had.

We should have 50 votes before we got to the next one.

All right.

Here's the autopsy findings.

Three things.

They said, voters of color need to be convinced.

Polling, huge problem.

People don't tell pollsters what they really think anymore.

They fuck with them.

And Republican attempts to brand Democrats as radicals worked.

Democrats who lost were centrists who nevertheless couldn't shake the radical label.

So, you know, I talk a lot about wokeness on this show.

I'm not a fan.

I think it's an albatross.

James Carville was here the other week saying the same thing.

You think it's an albatross?

And if so, how big an albatross around their necks?

I think that it's not something we should focus on.

This is

a fool's errand to go down that road.

We have to sell the fact that we have policies that have been passed and will be passed, but that are going to make people happy that they're going to have jobs and they're going to have money in their pockets.

That's what we have to say.

People do pay attention because it's on your phone every day.

That's what I call the drip-drip of.

You know why it really works, though, Bill?

It's because, all right, so the GOP is doing the wokeness branding, branding, and then we are like, yeah, let's talk about wokeness all the fucking time, right?

What we should do.

I mean, think about it.

The complaint is, oh, they're too piecey.

The other side is turning into a fascist authoritarian party that is literally rigging our elections.

They don't care.

So you have to get that brand back.

And that doesn't happen in our message.

But, you know, the fascist thing, I couldn't agree with you more.

There is fascism afoot.

And, you know, even Trump doing something like colluding with Ukraine was terrible and was an impeachable offense.

But people don't care.

It's like Ukraine is very far away, but you're telling me my three-year-old coming home and saying he's a girl now, and I have to go along with that.

That's right in my heart.

That's why you have to make them more afraid of other shit, Bill.

And we don't do any of the fear stoking, right?

So, like, I'm going to tell people that.

They're not going to make money.

They're coming for your kids.

They're going to kill your daughter with teenage abortion stuff, right?

Because that's the shit that the other side has been fed.

And we're going to be looking at turnouts that are, I mean, in this California recall coming up, Newsom's, oh, he's polling so well.

Double the number of Republican voters tell the poll, hey, I'm super excited to vote in the recall, right?

So like we have a massive tuned out complacency issue on this side, and we have to match it.

We have to match their messaging.

Okay, but I think I hear this a lot from Democrats.

You know, we lost because we didn't get our message out.

No, I think the problem is you did.

Yeah.

They heard you.

They just don't like it.

Well, that's not.

They heard you loud enough.

That's not what the data says about any of the stupid policy that the Democrats wonk out with their brain-focused ads.

Those policies all pull in the 60s, okay?

Policies, yes.

Yes, yes.

But if you're talking policy and the other party is hitting you on a brand, an identity, I mean, it doesn't matter if you're Jamie Harrison or

one of these radical squad members, right?

You're going to get called a socialist.

I tell people I could make AOC and Sanders disappear tomorrow, and guess what?

The GOP would run the same damn message.

Why?

Because they are trying to brand us, the whole damn thing, as a socialist party because they understand where the electorate is.

The electorate is the opposite of the way Democrats are.

Well, maybe that would be a great thing for Democrats.

Maybe it'd be good if the Democrats understood where the electorate is.

And

I don't think they pay attention to policy as much as you think they do.

No, no, that's all they fucking run on.

Like, you can see an analysis.

But I'm saying the people.

It's not.

No, no, the people don't care.

Yes, you're right.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so you're saying you're saying let's pin our hopes on the thing that the people don't care about.

No, I'm talking about the care.

And I'm saying what the people care about is that Kimmy Schmidt can't.

People don't care.

That's right.

The people care about

Democrats talk to

the electorate like it cares.

That's what I'm trying to tell you.

They make an assumption.

The whole system's built on a flawed assumption.

The GOP understands who the American public is in terms of civics, and they're not civically smart.

They're not civically, they're lazy as fuck, right?

It's not just about being busy.

It's lazy, too, right?

And the GOP spoon-feds that shit right into them every day, like, you know, into their.

Let me give you an example of it.

Let me give you an example.

It's an issue.

Crime, big issue now.

49% of the people now think it's a big problem.

Okay, now this was on some feed I read in Seattle.

Somebody on their

Seattle Council proposed literally decriminalizing crime.

Proposed changes in the city, it's like you're living in an onion headline.

Proposed changes in the city's criminal code that people would not be liable if the offense that they committed was linked to poverty.

This is what the council person actually said.

In a situation where you took the sandwich because you were hungry and you were trying to meet your basic needs,

we as the community know that we should not punish that.

That conduct is excused.

You see,

it looks like the Democrats have no common sense.

Now this didn't pass.

It's not going to pass.

But people read this.

They read it every day.

Nothing about their fucking crazy, right?

So like their crazy is, okay,

children get visually inspected to make sure they have a vagina if they want to play on the crazy thing.

But I can't do anything about their crazy.

Yes, we can, because we can talk about it instead of our crazy.

If we keep talking about it, we can hear it because people are in their own silos, not listening to it.

You can break those silos.

You have to be sophisticated about it in the

reverse.

I never watch Fox News.

Sure as hell doesn't have that strategy, right?

Really?

You think people listen to it?

And here's the thing.

The only place where the people debate is this show.

I'll tell you this.

Like, psychologically, I don't see it anywhere else.

I don't.

Because nobody, everyone wants a safe space, right?

But like, psychologically, people don't want to see shit that makes them feel guilty or painful or hurt.

In order to see shit they don't agree with.

You have to shove it down their

throats, right?

You have to make them look that.

Shove it down their throats.

Make them look, Bill.

All right.

So listen, June 15th, we are opening back up.

That's Tuesday.

If you're watching this on Friday night, we're very excited, and there's a lot of pent-up sexual energy.

I was reading about this.

They're calling, some people are calling this, it's going to be, they say, the whoring 20s.

There was a headline in the New York Post.

Oh, yeah.

New York singles ready.

for a slutty summer of casual sex as COVID vaccination tries, you know, they're talking about doing it in the bathroom again.

So we thought nature's healing.

Yes, people

are probably a little rusty with their pickup lines.

So we thought as a service,

a public service, we would help you out because you need icebreakers.

There's been a lot of changes.

So would you like to hear some of the things we're suggesting?

Okay, great.

For example, do I know you?

The upper half of your face is so familiar.

Does Pfizer make a vaccine for that ass?

Because it's killing me.

These are going to work.

These are going to work.

I've been waiting to brush my teeth for a woman like you.

I hope I don't sound desperate.

The last time I hooked up was to a ventilator.

I've learned a lot from porn over the last year.

And this is one for a woman to say.

The expiration date on my edible panties is June 2020.

You feel lucky, punk?

You know, it's that third jab that's the charm.

Poor guy.

A dick is like the AstraZeneca shot.

I'd never take one, but I have no problems giving it to other people.

How'd you like to cross state lines with a Florida Congressman?

Oh, that always works.

And of course, hello, I'm Bill Gates.

Okay.

So

I want to ask you guys, you mentioned this, I think

how we react to coming out of this is looking like a big liability to the Democrats.

I think somehow sometimes their whole attitude toward this was a liability.

I mean, it depends on how you think about it.

But there was a poll recently, which is Gallup.

This is a serious polling service.

Which is better advice right now, they asked, for people who do not have symptoms and are otherwise healthy.

Stay home as much as possible to avoid contracting or spread the virus or lead their normal lives as much as possible.

87% of Republicans said people should strive to lead normal lives.

71% of Democrats stay home.

Keep cowering.

You're talking about people who have had their vaccinations?

Correct.

71%

of people who have had their vaccinations.

Of Democrats said,

people who've had stay home as much as possible, even if you've, and I see people on the street walking outside with a mask on, like you fucking moron.

I just want to shout at them outside the car.

You're a moron.

You never could get it outside, really.

And you're alone walking on the street with a mask.

So you used to mask shame them.

Now you're masked deshaming them.

I never mask shame.

I mean, in my opinion, if people want to do that, whatever, right?

But it is stupid, and it's a rejection of science, right?

Because you can't say on one end, we got to listen to the science and the data.

And then when

the science says, okay, you can't get COVID outside and you never could and you don't need a mask anymore, be like, oh, I'm just not going to do it, right?

So you're right.

It could be a liability.

But my organization, Strike Pack, is going to hammer those GOP people who murdered.

I mean, they've murdered through incompetence and misinformation hundreds of thousands of citizens, right?

So it's about, okay, they're going to do their thing.

Are we going to come back with an alternative frame that is aggressive and it's offensive?

It's not debating on their terms.

They don't want to talk about mask wearing going too long.

No, we're going to talk about your bullshit management of this COVID pandemic.

Okay, but that's the past.

Now we're over the...

It's over.

Can we just say it's over?

You know, I know it was great fun to have a pandemic

and order Grubhub every year.

And we had a stand for a year, Bill.

I mean, the last time I was here was a year, you know, like literally.

Okay, it's over.

Like you said at the beginning of the show, we should be closer together.

I watch the basketball playoffs now.

Most of the people are in the stands, not wearing masks.

And apparently, there's no super spreader event that's coming out of that.

And yet, I see the players are playing without mask.

They go on the bench.

The coach has a mask on.

Why?

Yeah, I mean, because...

It's just stupid, inconsistent mask covering.

It just.

Like in Texas, they never had masks, right?

You have your vaccination.

If you've been vaccinated, that's it.

That's the whole idea.

If you haven't been vaccinated, then that's not right.

I don't want you walking around if you haven't been vaccinated.

But you've been vaccinated.

Yes, and I'm happy to do that.

Okay, so don't be afraid of the person who isn't.

I'm not afraid of that person.

Okay.

I'm worried that that person is going to spread something to somebody else.

You know, somebody's always going to spread something.

You can't just hide forever.

Life is a risk.

Everything in life is a risk.

If you catch the vaccine, that's totally fine because, you know, I mean, but I do think it's worth, you know, asking them when they, because you always get these braggarts.

I didn't get vaccined.

You're like, oh, that's cool.

Do you happen to know if you've killed anybody yet?

Because you are a walking lab rat.

That's the thing.

You know what also killed people?

The fact that nobody in the health hierarchy.

Yes, I agree.

It's

very low.

No.

You know what else killed people?

Nobody in the health hierarchy ever suggested, even suggested to the American people that the best way to stay away from a bad outcome from this virus was to get yourself in better physical shape.

They never suggested.

And that's mostly what killed people.

There's really no shape.

So it's not not just a physical shape thing in the midst of a pandemic that's spreading.

Am I going to lose 50 pounds?

Well, we have.

No.

Okay.

Well,

anyone could.

Not in three, four months, right?

Well, it lasted over a year.

Yes.

Yeah, and I lost 40 pounds, I'm proud to say.

I mean, I'm not a good advertisement.

Well, 78% of the people who died were obese.

Yes, exactly.

That's why I hid in my house until I got vaccined, and now I'm vaccined, vaccined, and I am out, and I'm like willing to kiss you, Bill.

I'm totally good.

No pot in the green room, though.

This night is getting better.

Now we're kissing and smoking pods.

Are you going to use any of those lines?

You're going to use it a lot earlier.

Yeah, I think so.

I think they'll work.

Okay, so speaking of that, why wasn't there a baby boom during this pandemic?

I mean, you would think people locked up for a year.

Usually when this happened, sometimes it's just a night, kind of like when there's a blackout and there's a baby boom from a country.

Why wasn't there a baby boom?

Because there was a, they're worried about a disease.

Now, think about this for a second.

In 1962, we had the Cuban Missile Crisis.

People were frightened to death that we were all going to go up and smoke.

There was a huge baby boom after that.

But if you didn't get killed by the by the missile, you started fucking.

That's what you started.

This,

you're worried that if you get close to somebody, you might give, get, you might, it might be the death fuck.

I mean, as a woman.

What's going on?

People who are quarantined together.

Okay, it's like, as a married woman, I'm going to tell you the God honest truth here, because I always do that for the dudes when I hang out with them.

We, us married women of America, might have pretended to be a little bit more afraid of kissing and touching our husbands so that we could take a whole year off of dealing with their shit, right?

So that's probably it.

I think that's closer to it.

I think it's like,

fuck you.

I didn't want to talk about it.

Here's a good excuse.

I think that's really.

No sex path for a year.

I mean, it doesn't get better.

Okay.

Serious issue this week.

Because I think a lot of liberal principles are being, I'm sorry, they're being killed by liberals.

I mean, we talked about Israel on this show a couple of weeks ago.

That used to be a pretty staunch liberal thing to defend the only democracy in the Middle East.

Free speech.

The ACLU, the ACLU is to free speech what the NRA is to guns.

Right?

Yeah.

It's the last line of defense and the first.

And dominated by ideological purity, right?

I mean, we're as ideologically rigid on the left to the First Amendment, I myself included, as I was thinking about this, as they are to the Second Amendment.

It's an absolutist commitment.

Okay, but it's not anymore.

That's the problem, is that the ACLU now is woke.

David Goldberger, who's one of their icons, he's the guy who defended the Nazis marching in Skokie.

He said, I get the sense it was important by

I get the sense it was important for ACLU staff to identify with progressive causes more than to stand on liberal principles.

Liberals are leaving the First Amendment behind.

And I think this is a generational thing.

I think the younger generations are fragile, and they think being insulted or having your feelings hurt by words is more important than free speech.

Well, you have to find that neat line between free speech and speech that leads to violence.

And if you can,

you defend free speech.

You defend free speech as long as it doesn't lead, doesn't violence.

Well, you could say lead to.

I mean, about that's a very slippery slope.

That has not been the definition before.

Hate speech.

I mean,

hate speech, we all hate it, but that was the whole point of the First Amendment and the ACE.

No, no, you're not.

And you should be allowed.

You should be allowed to utter hate speech.

Right, but you can't go to

assemble and have free speech and also carry weapons with you.

No, not weapons.

No, no one is defending where they're.

They're so far away.

They marched.

They didn't march with a fight.

But they're so far away from that, Rob.

I mean, this younger generation literally will say that speech is a form of violence, physical violence.

And it's like, what?

No.

It's the opposite of violence.

It's not violence.

It's speech.

It can lead to violence, but it is not.

They've changed the definition of words.

Violence is when it hurts.

Right.

You just have to

define

what is fire in the crowded theater.

Right.

What is fire in the crowded theater, which is, you know, you're free to say that, but that directly leads to something that could be very violent.

Let me ask you something, though, though.

I'm seriously interested, right?

Second Amendment.

Would you, in a perfect world, maybe like change the wording around in that a little bit?

Absolutely.

So the First Amendment is the exact same thing, right?

I am a huge stand-up fan of yours.

I grew up cutting my teeth on eddie murphy stand-up which is why i'm so weird and profane right um but you know

you can find a way if we could if we could which we can't uh amend a constitution just like with the second amendment you could have a robust society with robust free speech and still disallow do you want to amend the first amendment

i'm saying what i'm saying is the first amendment's fine the way it is the second amendment needs on the left

can't be as ideologically slippery slowly free speech as they are on the left.

If you look at the Second Amendment carefully, it's actually pretty good the way it is because it says it says

well-regulated militia.

Right.

The people, right?

The insurrectionists were telling you they were a well-regulated militia.

Okay.

All right.

I got to go to New Rules.

Thank you, you guys.

Having a little fun.

All right.

New rules.

New rule, when Joe Biden visits the queen this weekend, he has to be a friend and tell her her spending is out of control.

Whether you like the royal family or you hate them, you have to admit the queen's lifestyle is rather lavish.

And before you say you don't think so, this is her using the bathroom.

We put two guys in there.

That is lavish.

That's lavish.

New rule, don't have sex in front of your dog.

It's cruel and confusing.

The dog is thinking, where'd the ball go?

Oh, there it is.

Where'd the ball go?

Oh, there it is.

Where'd the ball go?

Oh, there it is.

New Rule, this couple in South Africa who just gave birth to 10 babies

has to answer one question: Why are you smiling?

Neural, let's call winding country roads what they really are: redneck population control.

Because every time I drive down one, I see a homemade cross on the side of the road with names like Skeeter and Dale and Betty Lou.

Winding country roads, great for country music songs, not great for a country music fan.

Nero, now that the FDA has extended the expiration date on Johnson and Johnson vaccines by six weeks, they have to take a look at that cottage cheese in my refrigerator.

It says May 31st, but it smells okay to me.

No, I'm not suggesting all expiration dates are bogus.

If the condom in your wallet expired in 2013, throw that out.

Because that's how this happened.

And finally, new rule.

From now on, when Joe Biden veers off into one of his long-winded stories that seem to be off topic, Everyone must realize he usually does have a point.

But those of you who are over 50,

how often did you ever see advertisements on television with black and white couples?

Not a joke.

I challenge you, find today

when you turn on the stations, sit on one station for two hours, and I don't know how many commercials you'll see.

Lay eight to five.

Two to three out of five have mixed-race couples in them.

I'm going to tell you, I know it sounds kind of out of left field, but actually, Uncle Joe is pointing liberals towards something they need to be more aware of.

They have a bad case of progressophobia.

That's the phrase coined by Steven Pinker to describe a brain disorder that strikes liberals and makes them incapable of recognizing progress.

It's like situational blindness, only what you can't see is that your dorm in 2021 is better than the South before the Civil War.

If you think America is more racist now than ever, more sexist than before women could vote, and more homophobic than when blowjobs were a felony,

you have progressophobia and should adjust your mask because it's covering your eyes.

You know,

before

2012, every time gay marriage was put before a state's voters, it lost.

35 times in a row.

Now it's the law of the land in every state.

Even half of Republicans are for it.

The other half are for closeted gay sex.

The chant from gay protesters used to be, we're here, we're queer, get used to it.

Well, we did.

This is Pride Month, and it's not even a big deal anymore.

30 days of parades and festivals celebrating a cause that was once so divisive Ellen had to pretend to be straight.

State houses fly pride flags now.

Disney celebrates it.

By federal law, every single TV show must include a storyline about lesbians having a baby.

If someone announces they're gay on TV, it's met with thunderous applause.

My accountant says, Yah's queen.

You literally can't find a major American corporation that doesn't do something for Pride Month.

NASCAR does it.

Raytheon, maker of high-tech lethal weaponry that kills people from the sky, does it.

And I hear next year they're going to paint you go, girl, on the side of their missile.

And it's not just LGBT issues.

Not that long ago, I knew people who went to prison for growing pot.

And today you can legally smoke it for fun in 43% of the country, and I will.

Even something like bullying, it still happens.

But being outwardly cruel to people who are different is no longer acceptable.

That's progress.

And acknowledging progress isn't saying we're done or we don't need more.

And being gloomier doesn't make make you a better person.

In 1958, only 4% of Americans approved of interracial marriage.

Now, Gallup doesn't even bother asking.

The last time they did in 2013, 87% approved.

An overwhelming majority of Americans now say they want to live in a multiracial neighborhood.

That is a sea change from when I was a kid.

In a country that's 14% black, 18% of the incoming class of Harvard is black.

black, and since 2017, white students are not even a majority in our public colleges.

Employees of color make up 47% of Microsoft, 50% of Target, 55% of the gap as companies become desperate to look like their TV commercials.

The friends reunion we just had looked weird.

Because if you even suggested a show today about six people, all of whom were straight and white, the network would laugh you out of the room and then cancel you on Twitter.

And yet there is a recurrent theme on the far left that things have never been worse.

Kevin Hart expressed a view many hold when he told the New York Times, you're witnessing white power and white privilege at an all-time high.

This is one of the big problems with wokeness, that what you say doesn't have to make sense, or jibe with the facts, or ever be challenged, lest the challenge itself be conflated with racism.

But saying white power and privilege is at an all-time high is just ridiculous.

Higher than a century ago, the year of the Tulsa race massacre?

Higher than the years when the KKK rode unchecked and Jim Crow went unchallenged?

Higher than the 1960s when the Supremes and Willie Mays still couldn't stay in the same hotel as the white people they were working with?

Higher than during slavery?

And I mean actual slavery, not Prince doesn't like his record contract slavery.

Racism is still, unfortunately, still with us.

We have the footage.

In policing, housing, job discrimination, segregated schools, wealth inequality, the legacy of injustice sadly lives on and demands remedial action.

I understand, as best I can, how racism singes a person's soul so much that they might see it everywhere.

But seeing clearly is necessary for actually fixing problems.

And clearly, racism is simply no longer everywhere.

It's not in my home, and it probably isn't in yours.

if I read my audience right, and I think I do.

For most of the country, the most unhipped thing you could ever be today is a racist.

Even Derek Chauvin was not backed up by his fellow officers, and that never used to happen.

The low point of race relations wasn't Kim Kardashian wearing cornrows,

even though it happened on Snapchat and George Wallace standing in a doorway didn't.

Because here's the thing, kids: there actually was a world before you got here.

We date human events AD and BC, but we need a third marker for millennials and Gen Z, BY, before you.

It's telling that in a recent Harvard youth poll of Americans between 18 and 29, 72% of blacks said they were hopeful about the future of America, as compared to only 46% of whites.

I'm not surprised.

There are a hell of a lot of Americans trying really hard these days to embrace a new spirit of inclusion and self-reflection, and this progressive allergy to acknowledging societal advances is self-defeating because progress and hope that we can achieve it is the product we're selling.

And having a warped view of reality leads to policies that are warped.

Black-only dorms and graduation ceremonies, a growing belief in whiteness as a malady and white people as irredeemable, giving up on a colorblind society.

Only if you believe we've made no progress does any of that make sense.

I can name some things that actually are worse than they've ever been before, like the environment and homelessness in LA, and the prospects for maintaining an actual democracy in America.

But where progress has been made, it's not a sin, and it's certainly not inaccurate to say we've come a long way, baby.

Not mission accomplished, just a long way.

All right, thank you.

That's our show.

I'll be at the Toyota Music Factory in Irving, Texas, July 11th, at the Mirage in Vegas, July 16th and 17, and the Buddy Holly Center in Lubbock on July 31st.

I want to thank Rachel Vitacoper, Rob Ryder, and Neil deGrasse Tyson.

We'll be back next week.

Thank you, folks.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.

For more information, log on to HBO.com.