Ep. #544: Rep. Adam Schiff, John O. Brennan

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Maud.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, masked Pringers.

Appreciate it.

Thank you very much.

Hey,

we're doing a show.

Hey,

thank you very much.

Please.

Sit.

Thank you very much.

Appreciate it.

Sit your healthy asses down.

I know these are all very healthy people.

They're far apart.

They massive.

Nothing could happen here.

It's a great thing.

And boy, smaller crowds, we make up

for

size with enthusiasm, which is,

this is sad.

This is what small penis men say, the

poor bastards.

But tonight, I.

Thank you.

I appreciate your laughter.

Well, I know why you're happy today.

Joe Biden is up by eight.

To pee, what did you think I...

No.

As for our COVID-infected president, tonight he's going to undergo a medical exam.

Really, this is happening on Fox News in a very special episode of Dirty Jobs.

Now, the doctor is in New York and Trump's in the White House.

I'm not sure how this is really an exam,

but I hope it involves Trump sticking his own finger up his ass.

That's all I have to say.

But

you know what?

I've always been conservative about saying about Trump, oh, we got him now, but I'm telling you, this getting COVID thing, not good for him.

The way he handled it, I think the final blow is that, you know, what

we see that he gets treatment we would never get.

He's out there every day bragging about how I beat it.

Yeah, with a team of doctors and experimental drugs.

You know, when

Trump gets sick, he goes to Walter Reed.

The average American goes to Dwayne Reed.

Yeah, he's on an experimental antibody cocktail that was tested on hamsters.

It's a little risky, but they say as of tonight, the president is doing fine and resting comfortably near his wheel.

And the other thing is that he's literally infected others.

I mean, this fucking country is so fucking dense that they only could get it through their head he's a bad guy when he personally is killing other people.

Personally,

USA Today says he and his entourage have infected or exposed at least 6,000 people in five states, beating the old record set by Motley Crewe.

I mean,

things are so upside down in this country.

Today Stormy Daniels called him a super spreader.

Wow.

So far now, we're keeping count.

34 people, 34 connected to the White House have become infected.

When the helicopter lands on the lawn now, they play the theme from MASH.

Is that a sign that things are...

I mean, and in the White House, they're going nuts.

They're freaking out.

They've got workers wiping down every inanimate object, desks, computers, Wilbur Ross.

And oh, today Jared Kushner was wearing a plastic mask.

Oh, no, that was his face.

I'm sorry.

But

Melania says she is feeling stronger, although she said this year might be the year Christmas has to go fuck itself.

You saw that story?

Not many people.

Okay, that doesn't matter.

Well, the people who work in the White House, yeah, they are going nuts because of this, because Trump's returning there sooner than he should have.

He's still infectious.

He's still endangering the staff.

And the staff, of course, has not said anything about this publicly, but privately, oh, I would love to be a fly on Mike Pence's face

to hear what they are saying.

Did you watch that debate?

I have nothing to say about it.

It was boring.

I'm voting for Biden next.

I mean, like, did it change anything?

No.

I mean, and the debate commission now says the next presidential debate could only happen remotely because Trump is infected, and Trump has canceled this.

He said, no, he doesn't want to do a debate that way.

He said his infectious personality

just doesn't come across on Zoom.

And amid all this, get this, remember Ken Bone from the last election, the guy with the red sweater, the ultimate independent voter who we look at to decide things in this country?

He finally has made his decision.

After looking at Trump for almost four years and Joe Biden,

Ken Bone's going to vote for the libertarian candidate, Joe Jorgensen.

Really, Ken Bone?

Yes, that's Ken Bone's decision.

And tonight, to celebrate his vote, he's going out to a Chinese restaurant and ordering a hamburger.

All right, we've got a great show.

Kelly Goff and Brett Stevens are here on the panel, and later we'll be speaking with former CIA Director John Brennan.

But first up, he is the U.S.

Congressman who represents California's 28th District, the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, Adam Schiff, ladies and gentlemen.

Congressman, how are you doing?

Thank you very much.

Appreciate it.

You're satisfied that we are safe here?

Yes, you're about a mile away from me.

Okay, all right.

And the audience just wants you to know.

All right.

So in the debate, Mike Pence, just like his boss, really would not commit to a peaceful transfer of power.

I've asked you this question on the show before.

And you have a bill now.

I think the Democrats, you know, getting the message here.

And it's called the Protecting Our Democracy Act.

Is that right?

What What is that?

It is.

You know, after Watergate, Congress passed a whole package of reforms to try to address all the institutional breakdowns.

We've done the same thing, working with the Speaker and my fellow chairs.

We have measures in the package that protect against the abuse of the pardon power, that allow for the expedited enforcement of congressional subpoenas, that protect whistleblowers, that protect inspector generals, that allow us to enforce the emoluments clause when a president like this one enriches himself in the Oval Office, and a whole host of other reforms.

So we told the statute of limitations so a prosecution of the president could go forward and not be hampered by the fact that a president can outweigh the statute.

So these are.

I don't expect, Bill, that the Republicans this year are going to support this.

Next year, if we're fortunate and have a Biden presidency, I think they'll support these reforms

because

they're not going to want a Democratic president to do anything they allowed Donald Trump to do.

There's a senator, Mike Lee,

says, his is his quote this week, we're not a democracy.

Democracy isn't the objective.

Liberty, peace, and prosperity are.

That's, I mean, I kind of know what he means.

He went on to say rank democracy can thwart that.

The founding fathers were afraid of direct democracy.

That is true.

But for a senator to say, we're not a democracy, it's not the objective, that's pretty dangerous talk, especially at this moment with this president.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And it's all the more astonishing because we see around the world a real challenge to democracy.

We see the rise of autocracy, obviously, in Russia.

We see totalitarianism in China.

But we see in Egypt, in Turkey with Erdogan, in the Philippines, with Duterte, in Brazil, all over the world, a rise of autocrats challenging the very idea of democracy.

So to have Republican senators say, yeah, you know, ranked democracy isn't such a good thing, that's music to Putin's ears, I'm sure.

But in terms of the attacks on our own institutions, a president who, as you say, won't commit even to peacefully leaving the Oval Office if and when he loses, those kind of comments are just dangerous.

But our system, I mean, I've been talking about how the U.S.

Constitution needs a page one rewrite for a very long time.

This is a tough sell in a lot of America who believe that the Constitution was literally delivered by Jesus.

Do we have that picture of that painting?

This is what a lot of people think.

And I was reminded of this when RBG died recently because she was quoted in 2012 by saying, I would not look to the U.S.

Constitution if I were drafting a Constitution in the year 2012.

And she went on to mention South Africa has a better one, Canada, because they were written more recently.

The European Convention on Human Rights, she said, was better.

It's very hard to get a politician to talk about the Constitution, how it needs fundamental change.

But the Electoral College, I could go on.

Maybe you will be that politician who will say the Constitution

They were great back then, but

they were not nostramis.

They couldn't see a lot of shit that was going to happen.

Where were you on that issue of the Constitution?

Well, you know, I certainly agree with Ruth Bedegensberg in terms of if we were starting over, we would obviously make sure that everyone could vote.

We wouldn't discriminate against women of people of color.

We would not

have to amend and correct for all the mistakes of the original.

But Bill, let me ask you this.

Who would you trust to draft a new Constitution?

Mike Lee?

No.

Mitch McConnell?

Any of those jokers?

I certainly wouldn't.

And

this is the problem.

I don't have any confidence, frankly, that we could improve upon

the work product of the framers with a crowd we have today.

So I like it in theory,

but I think we are better off focusing on discrete amendments to the Constitution to overturn Citizens United and make sure that we can have

elections untampered or uninfluenced by excessive expenditures and dark money.

And I would favor doing away with the Electoral College system, which I think is

right.

So if there's a new Supreme Court justice, a lot of people are saying that Roe versus Wade will be overturned.

But for a lot of the country, it's already been overturned.

A lot of places in America, you just, you know, you can't get an abortion, then they have to drive to another state.

Why hasn't Congress passed a law?

Because the courts, of course, just rule on laws, but why isn't there a Roe v.

Amendment law that you guys have done?

I think there should be.

I think we should

take up a Roe v.

Wade Enforcement Act or Protection Act.

But I do think also we need to be mindful of the limitations of a statute.

If the President is successful in further stacking the Supreme Court, that court would likely overturn any law Congress passes to protect a woman's right to choose.

So we should try, and we should hope that we're successful in thwarting another right-wing justice that would overturn Roe v.

Wade, that would take away people's health care, strike down the Affordable Care Act.

But I think we need to be realistic about how far a law can go when the Supreme Court is hell-bent on overturning it.

Okay.

So, look, you're a Congressman from California.

I know some of this is not in your domain because you go to Washington and work on national issues, but I live in California, so I'm going to bitch a little bit, can I?

Okay, because,

you know, I mean, there is an exodus.

California businesses are leaving the state in droves.

In just 2018 and 19, which were economic boom years, 765 commercial facilities left,

13,000 businesses left between 2009 and 2016.

Look, I came out here in 1983.

I found paradise.

I love California.

I do.

I don't want to leave.

But I feel like I'm living in Italy in the 70s or something.

Super high taxes, potholes in the road.

I don't know what I'm getting for my super high taxes.

And I do understand.

And this talk of Exodus, you know,

I tell you,

people talk about this a lot now, and people are leaving.

Like in my industry, Joe Rogan left, Ben Shapiro, sorry, ladies.

Elon Musk talks about leaving.

What do you say about this as a California representative?

Well, I think we have to make every effort to make this a more business-friendly state.

And I don't think there's anything incompatible with being progressive and also wanted to make sure that this is a place that businesses can

survive and thrive.

I think in particular we need to work on making sure that manufacturing once again has a home in California.

It's simply too hard, too time consuming to be able to site any new manufacturing plant.

We have to be able to break through that regulatory impasse and the time it takes from the conception of an idea to be able to execute, build manufacturing, and put people to work.

Can I tell you something?

I've been, look, I tried to do the right thing.

I got solar panels on my roof.

It's almost been three years.

They're not turned on because when you get regular electricity, it goes to a pole.

But then when you get panels, it has to go to a shed.

I don't know why.

I accept that.

I could have bought the shed at Home Depot and put it in in a day.

It's been almost three years.

I can't tell you how many inspections we jump through every hoop.

It's just corruption.

This is

exasperating, I know.

And this is the problem.

We need to cut through that kind of bureaucratic red tape.

And Democrats, too.

Democrats, they run this in the middle of the year.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Now, look,

I want this to be the golden state again.

I think much of it remains the golden state.

But among the various challenges and problems we have, we have a growing and yawning gap between those who are doing really well in California and those who are doing really poorly.

And over the last 10 or 20 years, that has just become that much more egregious.

As we build back from this pandemic in California and around the country, I think it's going to be really important for us to build back an economy that works for everyone.

And part of making it work for everyone is making it work for you, making it work for low-skilled, and making sure that everyone has access to a good education, make Make sure that those want to build a business can build a business here and don't need to leave the state and find somewhere else.

And so

this is, you know, I think the challenge for us in past crises, the Great Depression, World War II, Vietnam War, we built back a better California, a better country, and we can do that again.

Make a call about that shed, though, would you?

I'm going to get on it.

I'm calling the governor tonight.

I would appreciate it if you would.

Adamship, everybody.

All right.

Great to see you, Congressman.

Let's meet our panel.

Hey,

how you doing?

All right.

He is.

Oh, shit.

Sorry, I got to get my chair in the group.

We have regulations.

Yes, no.

See?

That's so I don't get too close and kill you.

It has to be in that group.

I want us, the people who are watching to know we're doing everything according to code or they'll shut us down like we're a restaurant.

All right, he's a columnist for the New York Times and an MSNBC contributor.

Our friend Brett Stevens is over here.

And

she's a columnist for the Daily Beast and contributor to KCRW's left, right, and center.

Kelly Goff is over here.

Thank you.

Okay.

So, okay, there's only four weeks left of the election is stolen.

I'm very excited.

The president is on a lot of drugs.

Patton noticed.

What?

Patton noticed.

Right.

I've heard people say, you know, he's.

Is that the steroids talking, or is it just the way Trump always talks?

Yes, sir?

No, I mean,

you have to consider how many drugs he must be on to be beyond what he already, what he usually is.

Yeah.

Right.

When you said that, I was wondering, did you mean before or after the COVID diagnosis?

Because

yeah, when was he ever hinged?

But are you still, I've read your columns recently, and you've talked a little bit about the shy Trump voter.

Now, I mean, even Rasmussen, which is the pretty much most conservative poll, right, even they have Biden up by 12.

I mean, he's killing it with groups that the Democrat didn't kill it with before, like older people.

Look, I don't, I'm not, I'm always the guy who says to people who go, we got him now, you never get Trump.

But this does.

Thank you.

But

is this unblowable at this point?

After the one-two blow of the debate and then Trump handling his own COVID?

I'm sorry, after reading about Cal Cunningham in North Carolina this week, I don't think anything's unblowable.

Well, tell us what that is, because we don't all know Cal Cunningham.

Oh, sorry.

They didn't get the Millennia Christmas joke.

You're going to have to do Cal Cunningham's choice.

Which, by the way, I did laugh at that stage because I'm reading Stephanie Winston-Walkoff's book, so I thought it was funny.

Okay.

Whatever that's worth.

Cal Cunningham, a Democrat who was very much looking like he was going to win a Senate seat in North Carolina.

Against Tom Tillis, right?

Yes, until he got caught with his hand in the cookie.

He sexted a woman who was married.

And not to him.

That's the importance of the money.

So

let's assume that the polls are right, that Biden

is going to carry this in a walk.

Why would you act on that assumption?

Why don't you just assume that it's this close and you're going to fight for every single vote?

Because the last thing that we need is to wake up

the day after November, whatever it was, 6th or 7th, 2016, and say, well, how did we blow that one again?

Right.

Well, which is part of what happened last time, because there were certainly voters who did what I call vote cute, which is Hillary has it the bag.

I can vote third party and send a real message.

Send a real message.

And boy, did they send a message, those people who voted for a third party?

But I just, I mean, like, I've had this,

and I just see a flop sweat on Trump that I've never seen before in the last couple of weeks.

Really?

Well, he had COVID.

You sweat a lot.

But I mean, I've had this dream for a long time that at some point he gets to do that, the end scene in Training Day,

where

Denzel is like, I'm King Kong up in this piece, and nobody cares anymore.

You know, the neighborhood, they don't.

And I feel like that's sort of where he is with even his most key supporters.

Not, of course, that like 30% will never leave.

They're in the bunker with Mrs.

Goebbels giving the poison to the children.

Look,

you're right in the sense that he's made some mistakes that, I mean, are idiotic even by his standards.

First of all, setting up Joe Biden as a mr.

Senility so that all Biden had to do was step this high.

And then the next one was,

Kamala Harris is a communist, so the moment she appears to be a reasonably sane, normal politician, she passes the bar.

So that's just political malpractice.

But how many weeks before the last election was the Billy Bush tape?

All I'm saying is if you're not acting nervous, you're making a mistake.

You're right.

You're right.

But I just want to say

the fact that Joe,

old Joe, sleepy Joe, which is not one of his best nicknames, by the way.

No.

I mean, you know.

No.

Trump has come up with better.

No, tell shift.

Tell shifty shift.

He's winning with older people, 62 to 35.

Now,

I just want to say,

it turned out old Joe is a good choice because these are the people who vote.

Now, I don't know what the millennial vote is going to be in this election, but they've been bitching forever that my generation ruined the world for them.

And I've been telling them, you know, the oldest of them are over 40.

You've had five presidential elections to vote in.

Take the world.

Stop blaming us and take it over.

But, you know, you have to go out and vote and do it.

I think they will this time.

And they're starting to, and I was going to say that actually Trump has a real demographic problem, right?

Because in terms of the electoral landscape changing, we saw a bit of that in the midterms.

That was actually one of the first elections where millennials, Gin Zers actually outvoted older voters, and that was a midterm.

No one votes in midterms usually.

So that, and the other thing is speaking about older voters, I am not trying to be crass, but you know, Trump did wipe the floor with Hillary with older white voters.

Not all of them are still with us.

So in that four years, and I'm not saying that to be rude, it's just the truth.

And the registration numbers among younger people, and particularly younger black people, is something that actually does make the Trump campaign fairly nervous.

Shaquille O'Neal and Snoop Dogg actually admitted they've never voted before.

This is the first election they feel compelled to do so because of police brutality and other issues.

And so that's why there are states that are tight.

If I may correct you, Snoop voted, but on Thursday.

He just, you know, because he was

laughing.

But you know what I mean?

That one I didn't laugh, but the Melania Trump Christmas joke I was looking at.

I think one disappointment is there isn't going to be, it doesn't look like there's going to be another debate, because I think that debate was a gift to Biden.

For once, all of America was confronted by who the president is.

Like,

this was the guy,

and I think most of us have had this experience.

You're at a party, and some oaf comes up to you,

spills his beer in your lap, and says, Lee Harvey Oswald is still alive.

And you go, how do I get out of here?

And that was the entire debate.

So let's have more of them.

More, please, Mr.

President.

I actually think that the VP debate also hurt them in a way that's not getting talked about a lot, except for among women.

Because the fact is, most of us on a day-to-day basis, look, the bar is so low for who Donald Trump is, right?

And so most of us on a day-to-day basis are not confronting men who actually come up and say, I want to grab you by the pussy.

But we are confronting men every day who interrupt us talk over us

are condescending dismissive of our accomplishments

and the fact that Mike Pence

and liars

don't like liars either well

it's just true

and the fact that Mike Pence could not control himself not just with Senator Harris but with the moderator who finally had to say no actually you've talked a lot more than her I think it was reminiscent of the the Congressman Rick Lazio moment with Senator Clinton when he lost that Senate debate because

he reminded every woman of the men that they don't like in their lives.

And Mike Pence was supposed to balance out Trump, help him win back some of those women voters.

He did not do that during the BP.

Thank you.

Yeah.

All right.

So the FBI charged six people, 13 in total, six federally.

Listen to this, militia types.

I love the way they use that word militia when you do anything when you're a redneck.

A plot to storm the Capitol in Michigan, kidnap the governor, Gretchen Whitmer, put her on trial in another state to bring on a civil war.

What's interesting to me about this is some of these people,

some of them are Trump people with MAGA hats.

One of them says Trump's a tyrant.

He's the enemy.

He was mad that gas is too high.

He's like blaming the governor of Michigan because he has no money.

I feel like

this is where we're at.

It's not, I mean, this plot, it's not really about politics.

It's just about people being very unhappy.

And wanting to blame someone.

And blame someone and blow it all up.

Right.

We've squeezed people so much with the income inequality and other unfairnesses that they just, it's not really political.

It's just, I want to fucking kill somebody.

Right.

And we feel like it's taxi driver all over again and Robert De Niro was saying like, he's talking to me.

Right.

I mean,

there's that atmosphere.

But that is part of what four years of Trump has brought about because ultimately

he is

the, and

I'm not

letting the left off the hook, but he's the president and he's the conspiracy theorist in chief.

He's the crazy talker in chief.

He is the permission slip to every

crazy person who wants to do this kind of thing because there's a guy who's even crazier than you and he's in the White House.

Okay, so getting COVID, I don't know if you know this has been a really life-changing event for Donald Trump.

Some of the...

He said he thought it was a gift from God.

He said he has experience.

He knows what it's like now.

Well, look, he lives to serve.

We all know this.

He just wants...

He just wants to help people.

So now that he has it, he wants to share.

He's written a new book called Just Do What I Do.

Simple Tips for Living Well.

And

for example,

with COVID itself, he says, if you get COVID, just take your military helicopter to your private floor at the hospital and have your team of doctors procure the drugs that aren't on the market yet.

Why can't people just do the simple things that I do?

You know,

if your house floods, just go to your other one.

What is wrong with

If you can't pay the rent, sell off some stock.

Men,

having trouble getting laid, take her furniture shop.

If you're experiencing low self-esteem, throw yourself a military parade.

These are.

If a woman won't have sex with you, just have sex with her.

Says Donald Trump, not me.

If you get in trouble with the law, pardon yourself.

And

if your hair looks stupid, give it the $70,000 treatment.

Okay.

So

it's interesting to note that this doctor he has, Dr.

Sean Conley, he said on Monday that he detected antibodies in the president's blood.

Yes, because you put them there.

Those are the antibodies they put in him with that regeneron drug.

Okay, so only two people out of the 34 in the Trump administration, who, or the Trump orbit, I guess I should say, more accurately, who got it have been to the hospital.

That's Trump and Chris Christie.

Exactly.

Everyone knows why that's something that they have in common, but this is, Chris Christie, they talked about his asthma.

Okay, you know, I've been on this

for a while here, lonely, lonely on this subject, that America is so fucking cowardly that they cannot call out obesity as the number one reason why people got sick before the disease and the number one reason.

I mean, you have a hard time.

Can I just start by thanking you for bringing up this topic?

Because if I've learned anything, it's that the world loves it when a thin woman babbles on about obesity in a conversation about health and something like that.

Okay, but it's science, and if we're serious about life and death, we really need to talk about what causes the death.

Well, no, no, what I will say is, I will absolutely say,

I will absolutely say that I was not a fan of the fashion industry promoting the heroin chic anorexic look because I don't want little girls being indoctrinated to think a body type is kidding.

Such a smaller part of the problem.

This is what we do.

We pretend.

Mike Smith, can I finish?

Yes, I'm sorry.

Thank you.

And what I was going to say is I also don't like the idea of kids being indoctrinated to think that another body type, which is obesity, which can kill you.

We shouldn't be talking about it.

We have to talk about it in a healthy and a kind way.

Michelle Obama tried to do that and got laughed at when she tried to do what's new.

And the last thing I want to say is, look, I do take it seriously.

Diabetes runs in my family.

I've lost people to diabetes and obesity.

We've got to find a way to have the conversation, but in a way that is not so exclusive in terms of class, which is what Michelle Obama tried to do.

I mean, you know, Chris Christie can afford a chef, personal trainers, and things.

There are a lot of people in my community where addressing the issue of health and obesity.

It costs more, and we need to be more strategic about how we do it and how we talk about it.

So after this show,

I'm having dinner with a friend of mine who's in LA who used the lockdown as an opportunity to buy an exercise bike and lost 120 pounds.

I think that's a good way to use it.

Can I just say, I'm so glad you said that, because a Peloton is a couple thousand dollars.

So again, I just want to...

I'm not sure what kind of exercise bike you are, just for the record.

You don't need a Peloton.

People get in shape in prison with nothing.

You can use your own body.

I'm not disputing any of this, but I'm just saying that there is a class component to this conversation, but we do have to have the conversation.

Because the last thing, too, is I also think that things are going to change a lot about this bill post-COVID.

Because pre-COVID, you already had companies like Walmart and other private companies that were tying employee insurance costs to incentive-based behavior.

If you didn't quit smoking, they'd raise your rates.

If you didn't work on your weight, they'd raise your rates.

I think that because of the costs associated with COVID, we're going to see a lot more companies doing that.

And I don't think that's a bad thing.

I don't think that's a bad thing.

But I mean, you brought up anorexia.

To me, that's a false equivalency Why?

Because obesity before the epidemic killed 40,000 Americans a month

Does anorexia

I don't actually have the exact numbers but bulimia and anorexia kill a lot of very young women You know it's it's a plague

you think anorexia and bulimia kill 40,000 a month?

I don't have the exact numbers on it so I so I will absolutely I'm not being funny because let me tell you this a lot of the women who cope with it particularly when they're on air you don't find out about it until later when they discuss it publicly.

There are a lot of women who might be grappling with that privately, whereas when you're obese, people can see it.

I mean, that's part of the issue.

That's the point I'm making

is that the fashion industry glorifies thin women, so you don't necessarily know that someone's struggling in the same way.

But isn't the point of it that we just have to talk about it?

I mean, there's this kind of taboo that, like, God forbid you should mention that America has a giant pun intended weight problem and that this is one of the reasons why we've been so terribly struck by the disease.

Correct.

You know, You know, in Nordic countries, they've done wonderfully well.

Part of it is surely on account of whatever policies they were adopting, but probably it's because they're out skiing in Lapland.

And Asian countries especially have done very well.

And it's largely because, yes, the obesity level is many times less than what it is.

It's largely because of the fact that.

I'm in total agreement.

What I'm talking about, though, is we have to find a way to find the programs.

There's a cultural component to this, for instance.

We need more black doctors.

We need more people involved in finding ways to address the class, racial, and cultural discrepancies in how you tackle this issue.

There aren't a lot of black people that I'm personally friends with who ski a lot.

They are certainly out there, but I'm just saying to this idea that like just ski it off, you know what I mean?

No, I know.

I know.

You're talking like there's not a lot of fat white people.

There's a lot of fat white people.

Okay, yes, but I will certainly say that it's becoming a real killer in my community, particularly with diabetes and obesity.

And so, you know, when people talk about it, we just have to talk about it in a nuanced way because there's not a one-size-fits-all, no pun intended, way to address this subject.

But we have to stop glamorizing gluttony.

I agree with you.

Okay, all right.

But that's what I said.

I don't want to see heroin speak, and I don't want to see obesity treated as aspiration.

I mean, Weight Watchers can't even use the name Weight Watchers anymore.

They change it like KFC did.

You can't mention weight or watching it.

Really?

What is it now?

WW.

Is that true?

Really?

No, I made it up right on the spot.

Yes, it's true.

Well, you're a comedian.

I know, but you can tell which are the jokes sometimes.

All right, so the cure that Trump got from one of his regeneron, I think is the thing, is made from fetal cells.

Some from abortions from the 70s.

Some probably his.

No.

Could this become an issue?

I mean, that sounds like it would be not

something that

Comey Barrett found kosher.

You know, I said earlier that I'm reading Stephanie Winston-Walkoff's book on her friendship with and working with Melania, and the refrain that keeps coming up is, I know who I married, I know who I married, I know who I married.

That's what Melania often says whenever someone says, really, about something our husband did.

I think evangelicals know who they married in Donald Trump.

And they basically made a deal with the devil, and I'm a person of faith, but that's how I see it, to simply get Ruby Wade overturned.

And so, you know.

Okay.

All right.

And I just want to mention one more thing.

The kind of story that gets buried because of who the president is,

we didn't even talk about it.

He owes $400 million.

Is that all?

I assume that's a good idea.

Well, that ought to be more.

It may be.

Oh, it very well may be.

Probably to Russian oligarchs.

I mean, can you imagine if any other president owed anybody $400 million?

Well,

this is kind of the amazing thing about this, because in the last month we've discovered that he owes this incredible amount of money.

He said there's going to be no transfer of power.

He's proposed delaying the election.

And most recently, he's once again arguing that his attorney general should prosecute his opponents.

So the fact that this message hasn't yet come across to the overwhelming majority of American people that we are cultivating someone who resembles political figures from the 1930s is the most stunning development of all.

All right.

Let me say this.

A black guy with his credit couldn't get elected president of his co-op board, little understates.

Very true.

All right.

Thank you, panel.

You were great.

It's time for John.

He is the former CIA director and author of the new book, Undaunted: My Fight Against America's Enemies at Home and Abroad.

John Brennan is with us.

John.

Thank you, Mr.

Director.

Hey, I was reading your book.

I was just shocked to learn at what a rebel you were when you were young.

You smoked hash.

I know.

You voted the communist line in 1976.

You had an earring.

Hoop, dressy,

teardrop.

What kind of earring?

It was just a study ring.

Okay, so Mike, I guess what I'm interested in is

what was the moment where you became a serious guy?

Was it sudden or was it gradual?

Well, I grew up in New Jersey, and in the memoir I talk about that upbringing and my traveling overseas and experiencing life as a young American.

But then when I joined the CIA in 1980, I had to put a number of those things behind me because the national security profession really has quite a bit of demands on one's personal life, but also there are stipulations as far as what you can and can't do.

So my hashish smoking days were when I was a student in Egypt.

And there are days I look upon those days quite fondly.

Me too, which is why I've continued them.

So your job, the job you had as CIA director, it's all about worrying.

It's all about worrying about what's going to happen in this bad, bad world.

What worries you the most right now?

Donald Trump, without question, and the next 100 days in particular.

In terms of what he's going to do to try to steal the election, I think the polls indicate that he's going to go down in defeat.

But the powers of the presidency are enormous, and the types of things that he can do, leveraging the instruments of power, whether it be in the Department of Justice, since he has a corrupt attorney general working for him.

But then also, I'm sure he's going to challenge the outcome of the election in a protracted battle.

But I do think it's going to be rather decisive, the vote.

I'm hoping it is.

And I agree completely with Brett Stevens.

Nobody should relax and think that this is a given.

But

once he is defeated,

what he does as a lame duck president, I think, is also very dangerous.

What will he do to try to protect himself, but also make it much more difficult for Joe Biden to address the problems that we face here at home as well as internationally?

Donald Trump is a very venal, vindictive narcissist, and that's a very dangerous combination when you have the powers of the presidency in his hands.

Yeah,

you know,

as head of the CIA,

you'd be a good one to answer this.

Trump's always going after the deep state, and I'm just always wondering how deep is the state still, and if they can come to our aid, if they can help save us, if the bureaucracy is,

I don't know, after 9-11, you know, we formed the Homeland Security Bureau, and I remember thinking to myself, gosh, if we only had some sort of central intelligence agency.

Is it working better than it did before?

Do they connect the dots?

And if we need them to save us from Donald Trump, can they and will they?

I think the American men and women who serve in law enforcement, FBI, and the intelligence profession, CIA, NSA, they are doing their level best to protect this country from all different types of challenges from abroad as well as domestically here.

We see with just the events in Michigan that we have homegrown problems here as well.

But they are nonpartisans.

They're supposed to be carrying out their duties irrespective of the political party or the individual in the White House.

And as off-putting and as distasteful and as awful as Donald Trump's presidency is,

these individuals are not going to violate their oath of office to this country, to the Constitution, and they're not going to get involved in politics.

So I do hope that people like Chris Wray, who I have a lot of respect for, as well as John Durham, who is the special prosecutor now looking at the origins of the Russian investigation, that they're going to adhere to their oath of office and to their obligations to the American people to continue to carry out their duties professionally.

And again, I agree that Donald Trump is a real aberration and a a danger to our country.

But I don't look to the FBI or the CIA to try to untreat him because that would be

getting involved in politics, and that's something that they shouldn't do.

Okay, but that assumes that the president is not the crook who stays after he's voted out of office.

That assumes that he's on the side of these people.

You hear what I'm saying?

I mean, you know, I've used the term slow-moving coup for a number of years,

which means that in many countries we've seen this, countries you monitored, I'm sure, very much when you were head of the CIA,

the institutions don't change.

Russia still has a parliament.

It just doesn't really do anything.

We see the same thing, I think, going on here, the stoogification of a lot of government posts.

You know, I wrote down some of the

changes he's made.

He's had four national security advisors, three FBI directors, Homeland Security three people, CIA director, these revolving doors.

And you see this pattern where like the first person he appoints is sort of like a normal person, Rex Tillerson, you know, like it wouldn't have been my choice and now I'm like, can't we get someone else who runs an oil company?

And then the next person is like more of an idiot,

but still like maybe in the party.

And then you get down to Chad Wolf,

the Homeland Security guy, knows nothing about Homeland Security, no experience.

Justice Stooge, John Ratcliffe,

the DNI, the Director of National Intelligence.

You know, this is how the termites eat from the inside.

So

your thoughts.

Well, I agree with you, Bill.

It's these enablers, the ones that surround him in the White House, the chiefs of staff, the Mark Meadows and others, the heads of the different agencies that allow Donald Trump to continue to carry out these outrageous activities.

And most importantly, I think it is the Republicans in Congress, both in the Senate and the House, that have totally capitulated to Donald Trump's outrageous and unlawful, I believe, behavior.

So it is those enablers, but the rank and file, the professionals in intelligence law enforcement, those professionals we can rely on.

And I'm sure they're doing everything possible possible to prevent the fraud in this election.

That's why Chris Ray and other seniors who came out with a very important video statement the other day, trying to reassure the American people that they're on the job and that they're going to try to protect our institution of the election and warning the foreign actors to not try to get involved.

So, but you're absolutely right.

It's the Radcliffe's, it's the Lindsey Grahams, it's the Monte Pompeos, it's the Mike Pence's who allow Donald Trump to get away with what he is doing.

Okay, thank you, John.

Appreciate your service to this country, as always.

Good luck with the book.

John Brennan, everybody.

All right, time for new rules.

New rules.

Okay.

All right, new rule.

The CDC has to figure out why the only person in the entire Trump administration who doesn't have COVID-19 is Jiren.

Hasn't anyone here seen the movie Alien?

There's just one creep in the whole crew the monster won't eat because he's a robot.

New Rural Sports fans, sad that March Badness was canceled, have to thank Trump for giving them something else to bet on, the COVID-19 Sweet 16.

Who will survive and who will join first round loser Herman Kane?

Fill out your bracket today.

What show did you all think you were coming to next year?

Which kind of show did you think?

The safe kind?

Because

the other shows do the safe stuff.

We do other stuff.

New rule, if you're a man and you feel the need to buy this high-tech chastity belt for men,

you have to tell me why.

Especially since this cellmate, as it's called, can be remotely locked by hackers.

That's a tough conversation.

Honey, I can't tonight.

A 15-year-old in Mintz locked up my wiener.

Jesus, I can't get Siri to play the right song.

You think I'm going to trust her locking up my dick?

Siri, unlock my my penis.

Okay, now playing penis.

In a rule, Pope Francis can say the pandemic has proven that the magic theories of capitalism don't work, but then he has to remember: wait, I'm the Pope.

I'm in the magic theories business.

Merrill, someone must tell 23-year-old Brittany Mohamedi, who tried to jump over the counter to attack an American Airlines employee

who told her she couldn't board her flight barefoot, thank you, Brittany.

Because in this age of willful partisan ignorance, it's refreshing to see some good old-fashioned drunk girl ignorance.

You go, girl.

And by go, I mean squat right there in the terminal and pee.

And finally, new rule, don't wish ill health on President Trump, but just because he got sick, don't forget that he's still out there trying to steal an election.

Three years ago in this space, I talked about that most famous word from the Declaration of Independence, self-evident we hold these truths to be self-evident well we were wrong it took almost 250 years but we found a guy for which nothing is self-evident like

like leaving office when there's an election and you lose.

Not self-evident

don't put your son-in-law in charge of the government.

Not self-evident.

Don't keep operating a for-profit business empire while you're in office.

You know, little things we didn't think we had to write down.

Release your taxes.

Get your cabinet confirmed.

Don't use the White House for a partisan convention.

Don't accept foreign help in an election.

Care for all the states, not just the the ones that voted for you.

Little things.

Take sides only with the countries named American.

Nothing is self-evident to this man.

Sure, the law says you can vote by mail, but it doesn't say anything about fucking with the place that handles the mail.

This guy finds loopholes like birdshit finds my windshield.

If there's one thing we've learned from this presidency, it's that you have to get everything in writing.

Because if you don't, he will do a gus.

What's a gus?

Gus

is that Disney movie from the 70s I keep talking about that no one remembers.

So let me describe it once again.

Gus is a mule that is signed by a football team to kick field goals with his powerful mule leg.

And when the other teams object, the Gus team just says, two bad suckers.

The rule book doesn't specifically say the players have to be human.

Everyone just assumed that, so fuck you, we're going to do it.

That's Trump's philosophy on everything.

If you don't specifically write down that I can't do something, I will.

Now, we've all seen a guss in real life, but it's usually just a guy at the Costco sample table who notices there's no one per customer sign and says, great, dinner.

But it's different when the president is a gus.

And I'm here to warn you tonight that our field gold-kicking leader is now planning his ultimate Gus, which is screwing with the Electoral College.

You see, we don't have direct presidential elections in America.

We have a middleman, the electors.

They're the ones who actually convene on December 14th and cast ballots to determine who is president.

Now, in the past, no one ever questioned if you win the state, you get the electors,

because we're a democracy, sort of.

But it turns out that's not a law.

It's not in the Constitution and it's not written down.

Uh-oh.

Gus alert.

The Trump campaign's legal advisor told the Atlantic on the record that if there's any hint of voting irregularities, irregularities, Republican state legislatures might say, and I quote, we don't think the results of our own state are accurate.

So here's our slate of electors that we think properly reflect the results of our state.

In other words, fuck the vote.

We're telling our electors to vote for the other guy.

So it's a completely plausible scenario that Biden wins the popular vote in Florida, say, but then Trump starts ranting about how people are saying

an alligator ate a box of ballots in Tallahassee.

And that's all the cover needed for the Republican-controlled state house and Republican governor to say, until we get to the bottom of this, we're not sending our electors to vote for Biden.

Now, do you see why I feel like I've just been tied up by a German dominatrix who doesn't understand my safe word?

And Republicans control both legislative chambers in the six most key battleground states.

At very least, they can make things so chaotic that neither candidate gets 270 electoral votes.

And then the election goes to the House, where each state gets one vote, so 26 votes wins.

How many state delegations do do Republicans control?

26.

We never catch a break.

But don't get discouraged.

Vote.

Vote early and vote often.

But get ready for Trump to guss the election.

All right.

Thank you very much.

That's our show.

I want to thank Brett Stevens, Kelly Gobb, John Brennan, and Adam Schiff.

We'll be back next week.

And for the next six, thank you.

Thank you, folks.

You were great.

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