Bonus Bill – Ep. #511

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Moss.

Wow, pretty good crowd, huh?

Thank you.

Trump this week, if you missed it, started a war in the Middle East.

Then today he said he ended a war in the Middle East and he's being impeached.

What he calls multitasking.

Trump wanted to wrap up the war because the House, including a lot of Republicans this week, this doesn't happen often, voted to condemn him for abandoning the Kurds.

And

of course, voting to condemn means nothing.

It's like taking a vote to fold your arms and shake your head.

You vote to do that.

But Trump had written this letter.

He was waving around yesterday, very proud of this letter that he wrote to the President of Turkey, Erdogan.

And this was not, you know, this was, first of all, he threatened to destroy Turkey's economy.

But this, so this was not one of those beautiful letters like he exchanges with the North Korean dude.

You know, this was angry girlfriend mode.

There was no hearts in the margins of this letter.

And Trump said to Erdogan, don't let the world down.

Let's work out a good deal.

He said, don't be a tough guy, don't be a fool.

What is this, an Elvis song?

Don't be a tough guy, don't be a fool.

Don't let the world down.

Let's make a good deal.

Apparently, Trump had a legitimate, even for him, meltdown.

He called Nancy Pelosi a third-rate politician, and he said to her, I hate ISIS more than you do.

And then she apparently screamed back, you don't know that.

And then like in every sitcom I've ever seen, he said, are you as turned on as I am?

I think he was really having a meltdown because the meeting that was supposed to be about Syria was really about impeachment.

He's very worried about that.

This week, yesterday, I think it was, the national security official named Fiona Hill testified in the impeachment inquiry that John Bolton, you know, John Bolton, Trump's third national security advisor, dark hair, white mustache, looks like Yosemite Sam, that guy.

Apparently, he quit about a month ago.

He was apoplectic that this Ukraine policy was being run through Rudy Giuliani, who he said was a hand grenade who's going to blow everybody up.

He said, I don't want to be a part of whatever they're cooking up.

That's all you need to know about the Trump administration.

Too reckless for John Bolton.

And Bolton is right, because other administration officials are now being dragged into this.

Attorney General better call Saul.

Looks like he's in trouble.

Rudy Giuliani, not only in trouble for ignoring subpoenas by Congress, but now the Southern District of New York is going to indict him.

He worried he's going to, he's so worried he's going to jail.

Today he was being fitted for Bill Cosby.

I'm now blind glasses.

Now the Democrats had a big debate

Wednesday night.

The big issue was marijuana.

I did not have enough of it.

I mean, I couldn't.

I couldn't.

Three hours, I couldn't last.

I mean, my idea of fun has never been sitting around for hours watching people talk bullshit.

I found out the first time I did cocaine.

But 12 candidates now?

12?

Because 10 wasn't confusing enough?

They upped it to 12.

Poor Tom Steyer

got like no words in.

The transcript of the debates, he was listed as unidentified man.

And

Biden, Sanders, and Elizabeth Warren were all asked about age, and Mayor Pete got carded.

So

that's a big issue.

This is it during the squad.

You know, the squad, the

squad, the four,

three of them have now endorsed Bernie Sanders.

And Bernie said today, when I said I needed fresh blood, I meant literally.

Bernie.

Well, Bernie, Bernie looked good.

Bernie was welcomed back after he had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago.

He said everything's great, and he's back to feeling 1%.

Obama today endorsed, just any Canadians here, endorsed Justin Trudeau.

Yeah, he said it's an honor to support a fellow black man.

And the Pew survey, you know, the Pew, PEW, these people, they always do these surveys about religion in America, find out who's religious, what religion.

Well, they found out in the last decade, bad news for Christians, down 12%.

Wow.

And for people who say they have no religion, up 17%

in the last decade.

So, pot is legal, religion's dying off.

I think I've delivered on my contract to America.

Thank you.

All right.

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