Bonus Bill – Ep. #505

4m
Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear.
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Runtime: 4m

Transcript

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That's why Columbia engineers everything we make for anything nature can throw at you Columbia engineered for whatever

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Ma.

Thank you very much. I appreciate it.
Thank you.

Yeah, he wants to buy Greenland, so he talked about it with the Prime Minister of Greenland, and she said, Greenland is not for sale, and your proposal is not to be taken seriously.

She said his offer was absurd, and then he said, you insulted America, and then she said, could you put your mommy on the phone?

But still has a problem with women. He called the Prime Minister of Denmark, Denmark nasty

and not a name Ms. Jackson if you're nasty good kind of way

You know, it's always nasty and you got to be careful with Trump. He may not look tough, but don't forget he is a veteran of Studio 54.

So he was gonna try there was a state visit planned in Denmark. That is off.

He is not going to Denmark because of that nasty woman. But he is going to France.
So, okay, we've got a white nationalist who is in the mood to annex territory, and we're sending him to France.

What could go wrong?

And then he retweeted a guy who said that Trump was the second coming of God. And Melania said, second, what happened to the first?

Yeah, retweeted the second coming of God. And I think that may be true, because when people see Trump, they go, Jesus Christ.

You again?

Now, all this God talk is because he's got another feud going, and this is with Jewish voters in America. He doesn't like it that they vote for Democrats.

He said, if you vote for Democrats and you're Jewish, you're disloyal. He calls them fake Jews.

But it's true. Jewish people vote overwhelmingly against Trump, but not because they're Jewish, because they went to college.

And

all this is happening under the big shadow, which is that economists say that the signs of a recession now are all there.

He says there might be a little recession because of this trade war with China, but it'll be worth it. Totally.
Look, if you're tired of winning, you're going to love losing.

And he says, if we do have a recession, Mexico will pay for it. So what the fuck are we all worried about?

Here's the thing.

If we do have a recession, there's not much we can do about it because we already spent all the money on tax cuts for the rich people, and the interest rate has already been slashed more than Mike Pence's tires at a gay pride parade.

All right.

Watch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.