Bonus Bill – Ep. #479

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Welcome to Walgreens. What can I help you with today? Hi, I need a last-minute gift for a secret Santa.
Something thoughtful, impressive, not a fruitcake.

We've got Ferrero chocolates, artisan coffees, even a spa kit. Any vibe you're going for? Whatever says, wow, this guy's great at giving gifts.
How about this premium skincare gift set?

Just needs a bow. Will look like you planned it weeks ago.
Well, happy holidays. Gifts, holiday decor, and more.
The holiday road is long. We're with you all the way, Walgreens.

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Moff.

Thank you very much. Dennis Hoff, remember him? He had a show on HBO, the Cat House Show.
The pimp from Nevada died, still on the ballot for the state assembly, got elected, despite being dead.

Or as Trump called him, very close to being completely alive.

And two criminals, Duncan Hunter from here in California. Can you imagine your representative could be serving you, representing you from jail?

I'd like to see that campaign ad.

Hi, I'm Duncan Hutter, and between making license plates and pulling my laundry shift and, oh, tossing the occasional salad,

I'm always working for you.

Speaking of them not caring how it looks, Jeff Sessions. submitted his resignation at the request of the president yesterday, what the rest of us would call getting fired.

Jeff Sessions, yes, the Attorney General's gone. He will be missed.
He will be missed.

I didn't realize this, but around the White House, whenever somebody said, that's a little racist, they were talking about seeing Jeff Sessions.

Little man.

Let's end this monologue with the happy news from Tuesday night, because there was happy news.

One big story, white suburban women, Trump has lost them completely. They came out big time.
They came out like there was a new 50 Shades of of Gray book to buy.

Candid's elected its first female Democratic governor, which means that Darme

means that Dorothy no longer has to drive to Colorado for an abortion.

And

one close to my own heart, Michigan legalized recreational marijuana. But take a tip from me, don't get the bung water from Flint.
All right, thank you very much.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.