Bonus Bill – Ep. #478

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Maher.

How are you doing?

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

How are you?

Well, you must be happy.

Only five days to the election, which means five days more, and the political ads will stop on television.

Yeah.

So by the time I talk to you next week, either I will be in a very good mood or we'll be broadcasting from Canada.

Those are the two.

Oh, it's getting scary out there.

Not just the bomber guy last week, but now you saw in Pittsburgh there was a horrible shooting at a synagogue, and they asked Trump not to come, and he shows up anyway.

Who crashes a funeral?

What sort of an asshole does a thing like this?

And then he made the visit all about him.

Of course, he tweeted, Melanie and I were treated very nicely.

There was a small protest, was not seen by us.

Oh, good.

I'm so glad His Majesty didn't have to see the peasants.

And then Mike Pence gave a rally in Michigan, and he was commenting on the anti-Semitism and said he condemned it.

And then he asked a leader in the Jewish community to get up and say a prayer and it turned out the guy was a Jew for Jesus which is not a Jew.

That's called a Christian.

A Jew for Jesus.

It's like Catholics for condoms.

Like Muslims for short shorts.

It just doesn't exist.

But

Trump is going to do get this 11 rallies in the next six days.

Wow.

And to get into these rallies, they say you need a Make America Great cap.

Pants optional, but the cap you gotta have.

He was in Florida last night and he was campaigning against the guy who's running on the Democratic ticket for Florida, an African-American named Andrew Gillum, who Trump keeps calling a thief.

And then the crowd starts chanting, lock him up.

So let's see.

Go to the South.

have a rally where we say a black man who doesn't deserve to be in prison deserves to be in prison.

And then the crowd chants, lock him up.

Where do people get the idea the Republicans are racist?

Where is that coming from?

I know they hate that.

Wow.

And the Democratic message for this election, you know, everybody makes a closing argument for the election.

is basically preconditions.

We're going to cover you on pre-existing conditions, investigate corruption, and restore fairness to the tax system.

The Republican message is elect us or a guy named Luis is going to kill you.

Really?

I mean, Trump yesterday was talking about he is preparing an executive order to remove the right for citizenship.

You know, we're one of 30 countries where if you come to this country, have a baby, that's an automatic citizen.

If you're born on U.S.

soil.

Now, some people say Trump is just doing this as a shameless ploy to drive racists to the polls.

These people are called right.

It's a

yeah, he says they're bringing gang members in the caravan, terrorists, smallpox, and leprosy.

And scariest of all,

books.

I mean,

smallpox?

Leprosy?

Tuberculosis?

That's why Republicans hate them.

They have pre-existing conditions.

I mean,

smallpox was eradicated in the 80s, but they got it from Elizabeth Warren's blanket.

As soon as this election is over, trust me, no one will give a shit about the caravan.

They will stop talking about it immediately.

And that's why I would say to Trump supporters: this is why you should vote Democratic.

Because the day after the election, the caravan will go away, but you will still have diabetes.

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