Bonus Bill – Ep. #475

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What changed for the team today?

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That's all for now.

Coach, one more question.

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Ma.

Thank you.

Appreciate that.

How you doing?

Okay, so are you following the Brett Kavanaugh hearings?

Oh my gosh, get your abortions now, ladies, because this, oh, this is

so as you were

previously on Brett Kavanaugh,

at the end of last week, Trump said, okay, we're going to have an FBI investigation.

And then he said it'll be a one week.

Oh, it's even a week.

It was like a day.

And they had to turn in their report.

Shouldn't there be a rule that the investigation has to last at least as long as the assault?

I feel like

it was,

you know, the FBI was given no time to do it, no latitude.

Their hands were completely tied.

And they still found evidence of Trump colluding with Russia.

Unbelievable.

They weren't even looking into that.

Yes, he said, McConnell said, the time for delay and obstruction has come to a close.

What?

Mitch McConnell invented delay and obstruction.

He has made an art of delay and instruction.

He's got dogs named delay and obstruction.

It's like Alex Jones telling you to get your facts straight.

Yes, such sensitive information, like the time, time, this was in the report, the time that Brett Kavanaugh and his good wingman buddy Mark Judge, they had a devil's triangle.

You know what that is.

And then it was embarrassing they realized halfway through it the girl had left.

That's the

terrible part of the devil's triangle.

No, the FBI interviewed his wingman guy, Mark Judge, and he's the guy who had written a book.

This is not the joke part.

He wrote a book called Wasted, Tales of a Gen X Drunk.

That's the title of the book.

So I don't know how much his testimony is going to matter because when he raised his right hand and then out of habit put his finger to his nose.

He did not plead the fifth.

He asked for a fifth.

He's

a drunk.

He's a

Trump's

hundred times and it still wouldn't be good enough for the Democrats.

You know what?

If the FBI found nothing criminal and suddenly

investigated 100 times, we'd call that Hillary's emails.

Yeah, Trump said Dr.

Ford's story, now he's taking the gloves off, is not true.

He said if it was true, we'd know because Michael Cohen would have given her $130,000 to shut up about it.

Trump reiterated that he doesn't drink.

That is true about Donald Trump.

He does not drink.

He causes others to drink, but he does not drink.

But he does like beer, because he says, you know beer, it goes right through my hookers.

And they're peeing.

But, you know, Donald Trump, I always say, not just the worst president ever, maybe the worst human being

generally ever, because he was actually, in his rally, mocking Christine Blasey Ford, trying to make her look like a flighty idiot.

The crowd was appalled into stunned silence.

I'm joking.

They laughed their asses off.

They laughed so hard they dropped their tiki torches.

They were rolling in the aisles, because they're all on rascal scooters.

I'm telling you.

And finally, his wife, Melania, did you know this, is in Africa.

We assume she's there.

When she got off the plane, she just kept running.

All right, thank you very much.

All right, so

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