Bonus Bill – Ep. #473

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Ma.

Thank you very much.

All righty, so let's get right to the really big news.

Stormy Daniels wrote a book about Trump's dick.

Really?

Everyone's talking about Trump's dick.

And for once, they don't mean mean Rudy Giuliani.

But Stormy, yes, she's pretty scathing in this.

She says, sex with Trump, she said, may have been the least impressive sex I have ever had.

And you know Trump, he never takes anything lying down.

He gave her a shot back.

He said, I have disappointed far more hotter women than you.

Of course, we also know a lot about Brett Kavanaugh by now.

He went to an all-boy Catholic prep school, otherwise known as an asshole factory.

But the accuser, the woman's name is Professor, she's a professor, Christine Blasey Ford.

She has taken a lie detector test and passed it.

And she said there was a party, he pinned her on the bed, tried to get her clothes off, and when she started to scream, he covered her mouth so she couldn't be heard.

And the Republicans said, why didn't we think of that?

Covering the mouth.

But no, no, the Republicans want everybody to know they are taking this very, very seriously and they care very, very deeply that she be heard, but not if it can't happen Monday.

We are on a schedule here and it's got to happen on Monday.

And today, Grassley, the head of the committee, said she has until tomorrow to let us know if she's going to show up Monday.

Because if it's one thing women love, it's ultimatums from men, right, ladies?

So

this is now a stalemate, really, because Professor Ford says she wants, she's the one who wants the FBI investigation.

And Trump says, well, the Federal Bureau of Investigation doesn't really do investigations.

Where are you getting that?

He literally said, that's not the FBI's thing, like it's vampire fan fiction.

That's not their thing.

They only do witch hunts.

That's what the FBI does.

But what can we do?

That's what Grassley said.

We are offering her.

We are offering Professor Ford to testify in a private, closed setting.

And she said, I've seen enough of what happens with Republicans in a private, closed setting.

But they say one way or another they are going to get to the surface of this.

Okay, thank you.

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