Bonus Bill – Ep. #471

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

AKA Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Ma.

Thank you very much.

How you doing?

Thank you.

Trump says the New York Times must turn over.

the anonymous writer.

Turn over for national security purposes.

Turn over.

Like we're going to meet in East Berlin on the Bridge of Spies.

We're sending him across.

You give us hope hicks.

So it was not a good week for him.

The Woodward book is actually called Fear.

And in the book he says Trump is a congenital liar who's having a nervous breakdown.

And today Amorosa said, how come nobody believed me when I wrote the exact same book?

But he's got some amazing stuff Woodward does that he says that went on in the White House.

Like Trump wanted to assassinate Assad, the dictator in Syria, which of course is against the law in America.

We don't assassinate people.

It is.

That's funny.

They laughed at that.

But we haven't for quite a few years because we did make a law against it.

But Trump said, apparently, according to Bob Woodward, quote, he says, Assad, let's fucking kill him.

Let's do it.

Let's kill the whole fucking lot of them.

Now, in fairness, he said the same thing about Nordstroms.

So,

and at least this provides an answer to the question I've always had: what would it be like if Sonny Corleone ran America?

No, Trump is getting, if it's possible, more unhinged.

He said yesterday that there are hundreds of pictures of Robert Mueller and James Comey hugging and kissing.

And Lindsey Graham said, Could I see them?

And

of course,

we checked.

There are no pictures of Comey and Mueller hugging and kissing.

They're friends.

That's his big thing.

Comey's best friend is Mueller.

So what?

They were colleagues for decades.

They were both the FBI director.

You know what?

Batman and Robin are friends.

It doesn't mean the penguin isn't a crook.

And

of course,

but of course to Trump fans,

they don't care about any of this stuff.

That's reality.

What they care about is Nike put out an ad defending Colin Kaepernick.

So right-wing patriots now, have you seen this?

They're burning their Nikes.

They're burning their shoes.

They call that owning the liberals.

That'll teach them burning our own clothing.

It's like the Boston Tea Party.

Instead of tea, they threw themselves in the harbor.

But the

alt-right, you know, the people who've marched in Charlottesville, they're especially mad about this.

But Nike's trying to win them back with their new Air Hitlers.

But no, this guy is hard to pin down.

This Brett Kavanaugh, you've seen him.

He said he's not allowed to give opinions on politics.

He's not allowed to give his opinions on current events.

He's not allowed to give you his opinions on legal matters.

Contestants on Let's Make a Deal have more information on what's behind door number two.

But you know,

he's got his story and he's sticking to it.

He says, No, no, I'm just an umpire who calls balls and strikes.

Yeah, right.

For those keeping score, Democrats have two strikes and no balls.

All right, thank you very much.

Appreciate it.

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