Bonus Bill – Ep. #459

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Ma.

Well, everybody's talking today about Rudy Giuliani.

Remember him?

Used to be known as America's mayor.

Now he's known as America's worst lawyer.

This guy went on Fox twice in the last 24 hours and admitted Trump knew about the hushed money to Stormy Daniels.

And the media today exactly like, oh, we caught Trump in a lie.

Yes, something you can do 10 times a day by pushing record.

But you know, you notice everybody Trump touches gets stupider.

He's like the human version of huffing paint.

And Giuliani said today he's not going to allow Trump to enter into a perjury trap, a perjury trap, what the arrest of us call microphones.

But they're clearly worried that Michael Cohen has flipped, and they should be worried, because Michael Cohen knows where all the bodies are buried.

And by that I mean he's actually probably buried some bodies.

But

now in the category of giant scandal that we don't even pay attention to because the president is the worst person ever.

So we don't even notice some of these other scandals.

It came out this week that

the personal doctor for Trump, Harold Bornstein, we saw him during the campaign.

Weird-looking dude.

He claimed this week, I think he's,

I don't think it's bullshit, that Trump's goons raided his office to steal Trump's medical records.

What would the Republicans be doing if Hillary had sent goons

to her doctor's office to steal her?

I mean, it's like, it's

insane that we just let this shit go on like that.

But with Trump, it's like, well, he doesn't want anybody to know he's fat and bald.

Next.

And remember, this is the doctor who wrote a letter

during the 2016 campaign when people were asking about the candidates' health, said that Trump was, quote, astonishingly excellent.

His health was astonishingly excellent, and that he was the, quote, healthiest individual ever to run for the presidency.

And yesterday the doctor said, yes, Trump dictated that letter.

What a surprise.

It doesn't sound like Trump at all, does it?

I mean.

Yes, Trump dictated that letter.

And the doctor said, yeah, Trump dictated the letter.

And I would tell him what he couldn't put in there.

Couldn't put in there.

The letter says he was the healthiest man alive.

What did the original draft say?

He won the Kentucky Derby.

They

had to do a second blood test to make sure he wasn't one of of the X-Men.

Well, the tip-off was the part that said he tested negative for collusion.

Right there, I think.

But the healthiest man ever to be president.

He's not even the healthiest one that teenagers can remember.

Bush used to bike for 10 miles every day.

Remember that?

Obama played full court basketball.

Trump was wounded when he was shooting paper towels to those Puerto Ricans.

He's so fat, his shadow has diabetes.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, thank you guys for

watching.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.

For more information, log on to HBO.com.