Bonus Bill – Ep. #454

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Speaker 3 Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Month series, Real Time with Bill Ma.

Speaker 4 Thank you very much.

Speaker 4 We appreciate you, brave in the rain. It is coming down harder than Facebook stock.
I tell you, it's, ooh.

Speaker 4 Are you mad at Facebook? Everybody's mad at Facebook. I'm pissed off.

Speaker 4 Today I had Eggs Benedict, and I sent a picture of it to myself, and that's it.

Speaker 4 But yeah, it's so funny because Facebook users are like, man, how dare they use the information I freely gave them and agreed to let them use anywhere they wanted to.

Speaker 4 These are the same people who go, wow, heroin is awesome. Isn't there a downside?

Speaker 4 It came out today that the former vice president Joe Biden challenged the current president to a fight.

Speaker 4 Now, can you imagine an actual fight between Trump and Joe Biden? All right, now keep it clean, fellas.

Speaker 4 No rabbit punches, no hitting below the adult diaper.

Speaker 4 Oh, and there was, of course, an election in Russia. Don't tell me who won.
I'm binging it all weekend. I don't want to know.

Speaker 4 This is my favorite story of the week. You saw this.

Speaker 4 Everyone in the White House, all his national security people around Trump told him, whatever you do, do not congratulate Putin because the election was rigged and he's a crook and a thug and 12 other reasons.

Speaker 4 They even wrote it on a giant card in big block letters, do not congratulate, under the mistaken impression that the President of the United States can read.

Speaker 4 And of course,

Speaker 4 what does Trump do? He calls him up and congratulates him. You know, every time I would see like, do not eat on a silica packet, or do not microwave on aluminum foil.
I think,

Speaker 4 what sort of dipshit needs this? The president of the United States, apparently. That's exactly.
I found out.

Speaker 4 Of course, what Trump did not bring up in his phone call, his congratulatory phone call to Putin, was meddling in our democracy, assassinating a British spy on the streets of London.

Speaker 4 But you know what they say? You don't bite the hand that elects you.

Speaker 4 But the business of government goes on. We have a new budget that is apparently about to be passed.

Speaker 4 Bad news for the DREAMers,

Speaker 4 no protection for them, but

Speaker 4 also no funding for the wall. So good news, kids.
If we kick you out, you can sneak right back in.

Speaker 4 That's the best we can do.

Speaker 4 And I guess the other good news is it's, you wouldn't know it by the weather, but springtime. It's the yeah, we had spring sprung yesterday.

Speaker 4 Today, the first sign of spring,

Speaker 4 Trump faced new adult,

Speaker 4 new adultery allegations from a stripper named April Showers.

Speaker 4 Oh, and boy.

Speaker 4 The douchebag doesn't fall far from the tree.

Speaker 4 Like father, like son, Donald Trump Jr., of course, we heard last week, getting divorced, his wife filing for a divorce, found out why he was having an affair with Aubrey O'Day, who was a contestant on celebrity apprentice.

Speaker 4 And Donald Trump Jr. is an amazing man.
He's never worked in a day in his life, still manages to harass in the workplace.

Speaker 4 It's like being a draft dodger and still finding a way to commit war crime.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And Donald Trump Sr. now is facing three lawsuits.
Stormy Daniels, we know about that one, right? Okay, and then another celebrity apprentice contestant.

Speaker 4 And Karen McDougall, former playmate of the year, I guess, or something. Remember Michelle Obama wanted us to lose weight by eating better?

Speaker 4 Trump has a different way. We're going to picture him having sex, and none of us will ever want to eat again.

Speaker 4 All right, thank you.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 3 Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10. Or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.
For more information, log on to HBO.com.