Bonus Bill – Ep. #439

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late night series, Real Time with Bill Ma.

How you doing?

Thank you so much.

Okay, all right.

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

I really appreciate that.

Did you notice America got even dumber this week?

How about a hand for that?

That's right.

Our draft-dodging, Gold Star family insulting, POW slandering president is

tackling America's greatest crisis, how football players stand or don't when the music comes on before the game.

You know that NFL owners donated almost $8 million to his inauguration?

Remember the inauguration where a crowd of hundreds of millions

watched a fat liar who came in second touch a Bible for the first time.

You know, people are saying Trump doesn't care about Puerto Rico.

Wait till he finds out they speak Spanish and can come here anytime they want.

So he's going to head down there to Puerto Rico as soon as Milani can find the right shoes.

But Puerto Rico, you know, the problem is that Puerto Rico and their citizens have a very weird relationship with the United States.

They are citizens, but they can't vote.

Kind of like black folks in Florida.

Who remembers the 2000 election?

Anybody?

I guess maybe not.

So

the other great story this week that made America stupider, Alabama.

You saw what happened down there in Alabama?

The winner of the Republican runoff for the Senate is a guy named Judge Roy Moore.

If you haven't seen this guy, imagine if Howdy Duty

for the last 50 years had done nothing but reading the Bible and watch Fox News.

Republicans in Alabama, I love this, they looked at the stereotype in their state, uneducated religious nuts, and went, Yeah, let's double down on that.

Let's elect Larry the unstable guy.

I mean,

this guy is a cracker even for Alabama

in the same way that Trump is an asshole even for New York.

So the plan is that eventually every state is going to be represented by the person who best embodies what everyone in America hates about that state.

Like California will be represented by a waiter who didn't wash his hands after shooting porn.

And

Texas will be represented by a cow with a gun rack.

Trump unveiled his tax plan, which includes repeal of the estate tax, which has caused so much hardship for America's most vulnerable millionaires.

And the New York Times says the tax plan is a windfall for hedge fund managers, corporate executives, and real estate developers, and could raise taxes on the poor and the middle class.

And And Trump responded by saying, hey look, they're playing the anthem and Sam Jackson sell his hat on.

But here's what we do know about the tax plan from Donald Trump's mouth himself.

He says it's terrific.

Revolutionary, going to make jobs start pouring into this country and then make the economy take off like a rocket ship.

Boy, the guy does not undersell, does he?

You know, first the wall,

then the health care bill.

I just want to ask his fans, how many times are you going to buy a brick-in-a-box in the Best Buy parking lot before you realize it's not a DVR?

All right, thank you very much.

You sound like a great friend.

We got some more for you.

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