Bonus Bill – Ep. #439

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Speaker 2 Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Ma.

Speaker 2 How you doing?

Speaker 2 Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 Okay, all right.

Speaker 2 Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Thank you very much.

Speaker 3 I really appreciate that.

Speaker 3 Did you notice America got even dumber this week? How about a hand for that? That's right. Our draft-dodging, Gold Star family insulting, POW slandering president is

Speaker 3 tackling America's greatest crisis, how football players stand or don't when the music comes on before the game.

Speaker 3 You know that NFL owners donated almost $8 million to his inauguration? Remember the inauguration where a crowd of hundreds of millions

Speaker 3 watched a fat liar who came in second touch a Bible for the first time.

Speaker 3 You know, people are saying Trump doesn't care about Puerto Rico. Wait till he finds out they speak Spanish and can come here anytime they want.

Speaker 3 So he's going to head down there to Puerto Rico. As soon as Milani can find the right shoes.

Speaker 3 But Puerto Rico, you know, the problem is that Puerto Rico and their citizens have a very weird relationship with the United States. They are citizens, but they can't vote.

Speaker 3 Kind of like black folks in Florida.

Speaker 3 Who remembers the 2000 election? Anybody? I guess maybe not.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 the other great story this week that made America stupider, Alabama. You saw what happened down there in Alabama? The winner of the Republican runoff for the Senate is a guy named Judge Roy Moore.

Speaker 3 If you haven't seen this guy, imagine if Howdy Duty

Speaker 3 for the last 50 years had done nothing but reading the Bible and watch Fox News.

Speaker 3 Republicans in Alabama, I love this, they looked at the stereotype in their state, uneducated religious nuts, and went, Yeah, let's double down on that.

Speaker 3 Let's elect Larry the Unstable Guy.

Speaker 3 I mean,

Speaker 3 this guy is a cracker even for Alabama

Speaker 3 in the same way that Trump is an asshole even for New York.

Speaker 3 So the plan is that eventually every state is going to be represented by the person who best embodies what everyone in America hates about that state.

Speaker 3 Like California will be represented by a waiter who didn't wash his hands after shooting porn.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 Texas will be represented by a cow with a gun rack.

Speaker 3 Trump unveiled his tax plan, which includes repeal of the estate tax, which has caused so much hardship for America's most vulnerable millionaires.

Speaker 3 And the New York Times says the tax plan is a windfall for hedge fund managers, corporate executives, and real estate developers, and could raise taxes on the poor and the middle class.

Speaker 3 And Trump responded by saying, hey, look, they're playing the anthem and Sam Jackson sell his hat on.

Speaker 3 But here's what we do know about the tax plan from Donald Trump's mouth himself. He says it's terrific.

Speaker 3 Revolutionary, going to make jobs start pouring into this country and then make the economy take off like a rocket ship. Boy, the guy does not undersell, does he? You know, first the wall,

Speaker 3 then the health care bill. I just want to ask his fans, how many times are you going to buy a brick in a box in the Best Buy parking lot before you realize it's not a DVR?

Speaker 3 All right, thank you very much. You sound like a great friend.
We got some more for you.

Speaker 2 Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Ma every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.