Bonus Bill – Ep. #435

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Ma.

Thank you very much.

All right, folks.

Thank you.

Okay,

hot crowd, a hot crowd.

Thank you very much.

You're very kind.

Thank you.

I think I know why you're happy.

They finished redecorating the White House.

Now they're going to flip it.

So

now if we could only flip the resident.

Oh, what a week.

What a week the mental patient had this week.

On TV every night.

You saw this, you know, speeches teleprompter, no teleprompter, and then the big rally he had.

You know,

he's still stewing over the very unfair

coverage of the Charlottesville tragedy.

So he went and did a rally in Phoenix the other night.

But he blasted the fake news media for misrepresenting what he said after the tragedy.

And then he immediately misrepresented what he said after the tragedy.

Seriously.

I mean, we are so beyond reality.

It's just whatever he says it is.

He said during the rally, he said, there aren't many people outside protesting.

There were thousands.

This is a man who doesn't see crowds when they are there.

does see crowds when they're not there.

I mean, he either needs medication or a service dog.

I mean,

but the biggest controversy from the speech is he started to talk about, of course he's got to bring up the wall, that's his greatest hit, that's like stones playing satisfaction, you know.

So, but here's the new wrinkle.

He said,

if they don't build the wall, if we don't, if the Congress doesn't give me the funding to build the wall, we're going to shut the government down.

Shut the government down?

Wait, first of all, I thought Mexico was going to pay for the wall.

Remember that?

First, Mexico is going to pay for the wall, then, okay, we'll pay for it, and Mexico is going to pay us back.

Now, not only are we going to pay for it, but if we don't pay for it, the government shuts down.

So now he's just down to lying about the whole thing.

He's saying, oh, no, you misheard me.

I said, I'm going to make Mexico gay for the wall.

They're going to love it.

That's not pay for the wall.

Gay for the wall.

Oh, please.

There's a long way to go.

But you know, when Reagan got mad at a wall, he threatened Russia.

But times change, folks, you know.

No, but the thing is, we don't even need the wall because we've made life so uncomfortable for Mexicans.

Mexicans don't want to be here anymore.

Fuck, I don't want to be here anymore.

Yeah, and nobody wants to be in the White House.

They lost another one.

I didn't even heard of this guy, Andy Hemming, quit today.

He was the director of rapid response.

This is the job, his job was to get the press to print favorable articles about Donald Trump.

This is like being the PR man for the asbestos industry.

The best headline he was able to get out of the press in six months was, Trump doesn't smell as bad as he looks like he'd smell.

And

Sarah Huckabee Sanders said today that, well, he can do a better job promoting the agenda of the White House from the outside.

This is the same thing they said when Steve Bannon left.

Who knew the White House was such a terrible place to promote the White House?

Oh, it's been great.

I could be so much more effective blogging from a Starbucks.

So

now on the policy front, he did make a telepropter speech about the war in Afghanistan.

And apparently, folks, if you like your endless war in Afghanistan, you can keep your endless war in Afghanistan.

Trump said, Afghanistan, Afshmanistan, I'm keeping my eye on the real enemy, Mitch McConnell.

Because, you know, he's been having a feud with majority leader Mitch McConnell, but the word is today they're speaking again.

Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump, or as they're known in Washington, the tortoise and the combed-over hair.

And of course, I'm sure you saw the big news.

Hillary Clinton's book is coming out September 8th.

They released the first excerpts.

It is the number one bestseller on Amazon, but that's because three million Mexicans ordered it illegally.

I ordered the e-book.

It keeps erasing itself.

Keeps erasing itself, ladies.

And finally, you know,

Texans, a major hurricane is about to hit Texas on Friday.

But Trump said today, trust me, FEMA director Scott Bayo is totally on.

All right, thank you very much.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.

For more information, log on to HBO.com.