Bonus Bill – Ep. #426

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late night series, Real Time with Bill Ma.

Thank you very much.

Sit down.

What a great day to be here.

Slow Newsweek.

They don't call him no drama Trump for no reason.

Yeah, last week he had just fired the FBI director for investigating his Russia ties.

Then he met with the Russians in the Oval Office.

Also, while the Russians were in the office, they wanted to freshen up his face paint

and repair his puppet string.

So

Trump is always trying to prove that he doesn't need intelligence when he wants to just share it.

I would say I smell a rat, except we're beyond smelling.

We're watching it with the pizza slice in his mouth go up the stairs.

So, the good news this week, and this is really good news, is we do have a special counsel.

Robert Mueller, the former head of the FBI, is now going to take over this case.

And he is a straight shooter.

Everybody agrees on that.

Yes, it is very good news.

Looks like the system is working.

And Miller's job will be to ask that famous question.

What did the president know and when did he see it on Fox and Friends?

Because that's all he knows.

And also to try to establish a link between dementia and overuse of hairspray.

Now, it's funny because when they appointed Mueller yesterday, the first statement from the White House always the first statement is measured.

Please let's withhold judgment until all the alternative facts come out.

And then of course at 4.25 this morning, Trump gets up to pee

and starts tweeting and calls it the single greatest witch hunt in history.

Everything of course is the greatest in history.

The greatest witch hunt?

They discovered yesterday there is 18 people in the administration with ties to Russia we didn't even know about so far.

18 people.

Witch hunt, as in which one of these lowlifes do we go after first?

The greatest witch hunt in history, he says.

Yeah, this from the guy who led the birther movement.

Yeah.

Listen to this.

According to White House aides, in order to get Trump to read the briefings, you have to sprinkle his name like every other sentence or he stops reading.

No matter how important it is, it has to be about him.

You know, since according to Jordanian intelligence, Donald Trump has a powerful cock and a 32-inch waist.

Oh yeah, and ISIS is trying to put laptop bombs on planes.

And Donald Trump's cock is the talk of all Istanbul.

Finally, some sad news, I guess, to some, a death to report.

Roger Ailes, the former head of Fox News.

This came only a couple of months after he was forced out from Fox News after decades of sexual and racial abuse.

So I guess the lesson is never stop doing what you love.

And

also that life is so fragile.

So if you want to honor him tonight, hold your secretary a little closer.

against her will.

Okay, thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

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