End of Our Mental Rope // Knife Drone Fight [48]

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's going to tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Yeah.

Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

This is number 48.

My name is Jeff Ramsey.

With me, as always, Andrew, Gavin, Nick, and Eric.

They're just first names.

Hello.

I have a question.

Okay, go ahead.

I just have a question for someone who speaks coffee.

Okay.

So I just had a little quick espresso, right?

Put it in.

Put it in mug.

And I was going to make it an Americano.

I was going to put hot water in it.

Ran out of water.

So I just put a bit of milk on top of the espresso shot and microwaved it.

What have I made?

Milk and espresso together?

Is that like a

latte?

No, no, no, no.

It's like a latte, technically, isn't it?

Because you've just used, well, was the milk?

I guess you microwaved it.

You made the milk.

The milk was just like a splash of milk, though.

And it wasn't foam, right?

Yeah, then it would be a latte because isn't a macchiato, like milk foam or something.

That's Henry Hill's favorite drink, caramel macchiato.

Uh,

Gavin,

did I hear correctly when you said earlier you ran out of water?

Yeah.

What the fuck?

Dude, I didn't even clock that.

Jeff, congratulations.

That was great.

That's a good catch.

Yeah, no, no worries.

Now let's get him.

You don't make water?

Like filtered water?

Oh, you feel, you know, I see what you're saying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you had like any more.

You put a filter and it was okay.

Yeah, I've got like a tank on the kitchen counter.

Mine is in my fridge.

It's like in a, you just like get it out of the fridge.

So

I understand now.

See, I've got a fridge that came with the house.

It's one of those up market refrigerators, which means that it doesn't have any features.

It's a piece of shit.

It barely makes ice.

It doesn't dispense any water.

Yet somehow, probably twice the price of a nice Samsung that could do that and have a screen on it.

Here's what I think we should do.

Around about, oh, after you someday decide to sell your house and move on and you're emptying it out, I'm going to go take a look at your fridge and I'm going to show you where all that shit is and then you shouldn't notice for two years.

Oh, you think he just doesn't know it's there?

This week?

Because I swear, I've like looked that I've looked in like the hints.

Is it very familiar?

It only works if you've already sold the fridge, unfortunately.

If I tried to show it to you now, I wouldn't be able to find it

because I have to put water filters in it,

interesting, but I can't find where the water comes out.

Yeah, for the ice.

So, my ice is supposedly nice and filtered, but why can't it just give me water?

It has to give you water if it's doing filtering.

So, we have a glass full of ice just melting on the can.

Six hours?

Oh, boy.

I'm waiting for the waiting

so I can shove it into my espresso machine.

What temperature water do you want?

Okay, you can have that at 2.15.

My brain went to a different place, Jeff, when Gavin said water.

I realized that's one of the most British-sounding words he has.

So I just wrote down British words water.

And I'm going to be on the lookout for more British-sounding words.

See if we can get the most most British sounding sentence from Gavin at some point in the future water really is that's a strong one for you

what is the most American sounding word Gavin uh

freedom like

I was trying to like quickly somehow post the eagle sound, but I couldn't get up together.

It's not in the Discord safe set effects.

I was talking to some family member or someone married to a family member of yours at your wedding.

We were talking about football.

A British dude who was really excited to talk to somebody about American football.

And his wife, who may or may not be related to you, I can't remember, came over and listened to us talk for about 45 seconds and then said, I haven't understood a single word either of you have said.

It's just the most American sounding thing to me, but none of it makes sense and none of its actual words.

It's just American sounds, which I thought was weird.

As a kid, I used to, I had a friend who we used to make pretend radio, and one of our features was American Word of the Week.

And I don't remember any of them, but one of them was one of them was kerosene.

Kerosene.

Yeah.

That's an American-sounding word.

It sounds well American.

Yeah, you sound American saying it.

Yeah.

It's definitely not a water that you could

kerosene.

So, how many episodes did you and your friend?

Oh, of hit shit FM?

It was, I think, seven or eight episodes.

You don't have those saved anywhere, do you?

Oh, they might be on a tape, like a cassette.

But you recorded them.

Yeah, it was.

Wow.

We couldn't actually get on the radio, so we had to record it.

Kevin, what do we have to do to get and listen to and play that?

An episode of Hit Shit FM?

Yeah.

Yeah.

For regulation.

God.

Oh, God.

I think finding them will be a real, real issue.

Is that why you're so obsessed with storing stuff now?

Because you lost hit shit FM and you can just it's haunted you your whole life.

I like you keep bringing up this obsession that I store my files.

That's not a weird thing

You have drive after drive after drive of file.

You don't need all those files.

You don't need all but I

You're asking like if I'd saved hit shit FM if I digitized it in 1997 or whatever it was.

Yep.

We would have it right now wouldn't we?

Exactly, which is why now you do that.

That was my point.

Because you didn't then.

I'm not going to take file advice from the guy who records something, uploads it, and deletes it.

Records something, uploads it, and deletes it.

Oh, the company went away.

Okay, so where are your copies?

Oh.

Oh yeah, but the company went away.

The company could have chucked you a couple of like eight terabyte drives and all of the stuff you've ever recorded for this podcast, you would still have.

Don't need it though.

I don't think anyone needs needs that we but we did need it we did need it we did end up needing it that's true it would have been yeah it would have been easier but your ratio to what you have to what you've used i'd argue is is way off i've not finished living yet who knows what i'll look like

that's my point is i'm telling you you're gonna get to the end you know what your files are it's like uh

it's like uh a big box of cables you know box cables that you've just like accumulated.

It's a box of labeled and searchable cables.

Oh, you have your cables are really organized?

That does sound like you, actually, if you're saving all your swords.

Are you asking me if I've named my files?

I think he's saying that his files in the analogy that you're using are the cables, and he's very organized in the way he names his files.

Not actual physical cables, Andrew.

I'm talking physical cables.

I'm saying that all these...

Physical cables?

I've got a drawer.

I've got a little set of drawers and they've got different cables in them.

Yeah, but my point is, is that you accumulate all these cables, and then you never use like ADP.

You are having a laugh.

You would not believe the amount of times where I've been like, oh, I wish I had this.

Oh, oh,

you want to get some.

Oh, hang on.

Gavin.

Hang on.

Here's one.

Uh-oh.

Gavin?

Yeah.

I threw away all my cables a few weeks ago.

Got rid of feed.

All of them.

I had threw them away.

That's such a waste.

Surely you'll need one.

But I don't because they're in a box and I've never went into the box for the cable.

Oh, I always do.

I'm constantly going in.

My cable box is my most frequented box, probably.

Yeah, haven't openly

since I put cables in the last time I put, I stored cables, don't use it.

Got rid of 90% of my cables.

They're gone.

Did you like sell them or donate them or just chuck them?

I donated them.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Someone will buy cables.

The needy need all these cables.

They use the Dreamcast plug.

I donated a bunch of old tech stuff I had and cables was one of it.

And my logic was, I know for a fact that I'm getting rid of cables that are related to things I currently own.

But if I need it badly, I'll discover it then and I'll deal with that then.

And so far, I've never had that issue.

I haven't encountered it yet.

And I don't think I will for a long time.

I think I have that issue maybe once a month.

Where I go for a right rummage and I'm like, oh, here's one.

Sweet.

I guess maybe our tech, I don't know.

It's different.

What we're going for.

Yeah.

I guess with what you do as well for work with the Slemo stuff, you're probably utilizing a lot more different devices than I am.

My reputation.

We're so deep in this conversation and Andrew is just for the first time realizing that their needs are not one-to-one.

I'm just articulating why, yeah.

I'm not articulating, you don't need any specific line of work to have the company you work for just give you a backup drive.

That's that's fair.

I just don't think I'll use

well.

I mean, I do it for you.

I do it for you.

I'll drag my files every once in a while, throw them in a drive, and then go, we're never going to use this.

Every once

in a while.

I've never understood.

That's, it's like buying a fire extinguisher, being like, nah, I don't see, I don't see myself using it.

I've not used it yet.

I'm not going to use this.

Yeah, but the difference between you and I is that you own 17 fire extinguishers.

That's my point.

Good to have different fire extinguishers for different types of fire, in my opinion.

You know, while we're arguing, while we're arguing,

I want to steer the argument

away from you.

We're arguing?

I didn't know we were arguing.

Definitely arguing.

After the last episode that came out, which

the one before this one, right?

That's how that works.

No, the one before the last one.

We were arguing about worms and...

I heard about worms.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A lot of the audience

I was surprised sided with me.

They sure did.

Yeah, I saw that.

There are some people who didn't.

I've got an example right here.

We can blur out the name, but I just want to address this comment.

It says,

This is on YouTube.

It says, I'm on Andrew's side.

Most games don't have an arbitrary number of players, like six.

So it's natural to assume four is the max.

I didn't know four wasn't the max either.

Having the knowledge, Gavin should have thought to point it out sooner.

Like, why aren't we all playing?

I did that's exactly what happened i was in the first one we didn't need six people we just needed four there i wasn't in any more worms the next one i was in i said hey why aren't we all playing so hey gatherer for a second but before we go any further can i just say i really think you got to move on man you gotta let this is so far in the past that's that's fair Before we move on, because you're right, I saw a lot of people.

You bring it up every episode.

You know, he's right.

A lot of people are on his side, and there are a lot of people, you know, I made take your victory lap.

Yep.

Well, but we're not done with the victory lap yet.

We haven't established that.

He did.

What?

You're going to be a sore winner?

I don't get it.

No, I'm just saying what I'm trying to get to the point of: there were a lot of people that said that it is my responsibility, even though Gavin brought this up and keeps bringing it up, that it was my responsibility to prove him wrong.

And I, so, what, what's the issue?

So I just want to, I want to see if I can.

Is the whole thing that you weren't, there wasn't a worms experience prior to that in which we were all there and one of us sat out?

Is that what you're saying?

Uh, was that?

I don't think so.

Am I looking for that?

Is that the whole point?

Is that the conflict that you're yelling about?

Okay, I have a clip.

I have a clip.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

Okay, definitely.

You just shouldn't have brought it up, maybe.

Well, hang on.

I might be jumping the gun here.

I might be on the wrong side of history here.

I'm going to say I tried to engineer an out for Gavin three minutes ago.

I'm going to put a link to a video in the chat, 59.50.

Our first video

in which the five of us were playing a variety of games.

Party Animals was one because I thought, oh, maybe it was Party Animals I was thinking of because you were very opposed to AI being involved in Party Animals.

So one of us would sit out.

I stand by the game.

I am sharing my screen.

Ready?

You said 5950?

Yep.

Okay, here it is from 5945.

Here you go.

59.50.

Isn't that a psychic?

Okay, so it ends.

We finished party animals.

We're all here, except someone sitting out.

I'll swap out, I say.

Eric thinks we should play a different game.

Yeah.

All of us together.

Our first big day.

We're streaming.

So let's go to worms.

All of us.

Nope.

This is an original Xbox.

He's loading in now.

Four of us.

we're filming is on the phone.

We're all here.

We're still about 498,000.

We are.

He's got you.

All five of us.

I'm not in this video, but

I'm like watching it.

He's watching it.

Because we didn't know that we could have more than four.

Yep.

Yep.

You got this, bud.

Yep.

You're the worms guy.

This is very interesting.

Yep.

So you will know you budget.

Do you want to

wind that back a little bit?

Yeah, that's uh

I'm I'm I'm real

I'm real flummoxed about this one.

I stand by the fact that we should have known, but there was absolutely opportunity for you to establish this prior to, and it is odd that you didn't in that moment be like, what?

What is happening?

Why is one of us sitting out?

Why aren't we all playing?

So if you wrote the if you wrote that comment that I just yelled about, you're right.

I apologize.

Do you think it's because,

although you can have five in party animals, can't you?

You can have five, but we sat somebody out because you didn't want AI.

So then we moved to worms.

But why would AI...

Because

I don't think you can have five.

I think you can have six.

So we'd have to have like one AI.

So everyone would have to have AI.

So we'd have to except one team.

It would be two human players on a team.

We've done just five in that.

Haven't we?

We did much later when

we asked Andrew, aren't there other ways to play?

And he was like, what do you mean?

And then we like that too.

We had to like dig down and figure out the other game modes, much like you had to dig down and find out that Worms was a six-player game.

Exactly.

Yeah, we didn't.

Sure.

Look, but that was a case of me not knowing.

This is a case of you knowing and not vocalizing it for some reason.

Every year.

Every

year, I would say

my intelligence gets literally decimated.

I don't know what.

I don't don't know what to do about it.

I then like realize afterwards, I'm like, oh, what a stupid bastard for sitting through all that for no reason.

Happens constantly.

Can I, since we're talking about depletion of intelligence,

I just want to, I want to ask a question.

I just kind of want to, I'm just wondering, Jeff, are you okay with names or what's been going on with you, dude?

Names.

I've been trying to hold it together, but

my entire childhood,

my grandmother called everybody by the wrong name.

Like anytime my grandmother talked to me, she would go, Jacob, Mike,

Jeffrey, come here.

Yeah.

And they're parents.

I think it's just

in me, you know?

And I hear myself do it, I hear her.

And I think that maybe

she's moved on now.

And I think maybe I've taken the mantle of the porky pig of family name and so i think it's just who i am you know and i think it's probably only going to get worse

i don't i haven't noticed it is this something outside of the podcast well did you listen to it in the what was it a game we were playing the other day or a podcast where you just you called every

it was the podcast we're talking about mario party and you being late and then you used everyone's name before you got to yourself you got to

happen And then it happened like today when we were playing Repo, where it was like, man, i don't are you okay like it just it i it it's not a thing that i attribute to you but in like the last i would say full week it's a thing where i'm like geez jeff oh what is going on well i will say in the last full week i've been recording and editing like a demon to get ready for this out of town trip i think this is like my seventh record or eighth recording already and i was out of town for two days too dealing with you know uh dealing with a trip and still didn't miss a mario recording so i think i might just be be at the end of my mental rope.

We should lay out all of our mental ropes.

Yeah, I think that totally makes sense.

I think that totally makes sense.

Plus, all the other business shit that's happening behind the scenes that we're not like talking about, you know, that has to get done.

It's just been really insane last two weeks in specific.

So, I think maybe I'm it's a combination of my grandmother's genetics and my

just absolute mental exhaustion and and probably a little bit of my advanced age.

I think we're all feeling it in different ways.

I'm going to expose myself for a real stupid moment that otherwise would have went unnoticed where a few episodes ago, you were pitching store names with Nick, Jeff.

Yeah.

What were the store names?

Do you remember them?

Yeah, it was the Nick and Cranny was the first one.

And then Nick's Knacks.

was the secondary, like cheaper store.

Yeah, more of like an Impulse Buy store.

store, and then I had a third one that I didn't pitch to you guys, but uh,

I can't quite remember it, but it was something along the same.

If you go back and listen to that conversation, I GTA brained it.

I wasn't playing GTA, I'm just saying it was the same thing with the hot dog fan.

If you listen, there's a moment where I say Nick's Knacks, and I think that I just came up with it, and I was very proud of it.

And then I brought it up after the fact to my partner of like, oh, we're talking Nick's store names.

I said Nick Nick's next, and I feel I think that's a very funny name for a Nick store.

And then I was told a few days later, uh, Jeff said it like 10 seconds before I did, and it just did not register at all.

So, I had several days of feeling real good about myself for saying a thing that you had already said.

It would be so interesting if when you stop recording and say it's like an hour and 10 minutes, it tells you how many minutes of that recording you were just buffering.

Do you want to see some of the My Mental Rope falling apart?

Yeah, of course.

I had to look in my audio recording folder.

Oh, no.

Just to upload today's Mario Party.

I realized I

called yesterday's part Mario Kart.

I just called it Mario Kart 1027.

To be honest, isn't it?

Yeah, but like the fact that I see your file in there at all, like that's all I'm looking for.

And I'm happy.

I don't really care what you call it as long as that file's in there.

Good enough, good enough, good enough.

We'll take it.

I have a question relating to files because I had

I made a mistake in a recent Mario Party day where I backed out of the game and we had to redo a turn very controversially.

And

the recording, Gavin's been very opposed.

We typically tail sync.

He's very adamant that we don't need to for our average, I'd say like 10 minute videos, which is fine.

But that ended up being like 23 minutes because of my mistake.

And I requested a tailsink at the end of it just because it was a technical difficulties thing.

I'm curious at what point are you happy with a tailsync?

Just so I know.

Like, because I didn't know, because I brought it up and I didn't want to annoy you by making you do it, but I genuinely don't know where the threshold is of what is the minimum recording time required for you to happily do a tailsync?

It's not always for it's not always for drift.

If you missed the if your recording stopped and you had to start again, you don't have a first sync, so you need a tailsync.

I understand, but the reason you don't want to do it for an eight-minute thing is because there's no drift.

You've been very out of it.

He just wants to know when drifts.

So I'm curious when you are okay with a back tailsync occurring as a group.

Like, what's my threshold?

Yeah, because you said bad, eight minutes, 10 minutes, not enough.

So I'm curious, where is that line?

Just so I know.

Because I don't want to inconvenience you.

So I have a lot.

So if it's like, okay, it's less than this, I'm not even going to broach it.

It's over this.

You don't understand what you're sinking to.

Doesn't matter.

You're relevant.

It's an irrelevant point that you're making.

It's not a concept just for us.

It's like tail sticks on a film set.

No, the point is, is that there's a safeguard for people that put this together.

That's not my job, but my job is to help enforce that safeguard.

And you're opposed to it.

Understandably so.

I'm not saying you're wrong.

Like, once I want it, I knew that this is going to turn into like a heated thing with you.

I'm not attacking you.

I want it to be clear.

I just don't know where is the line for like, just so I know.

Because when I brought up doing the tailsink at 23 minutes, I was like, I don't want to annoy Gavin, but this is twice as long.

Is this acceptable in his eyes?

I mean, I've never noticed any perceivable drift like under 40 minutes.

Okay, so 40 minutes is the line.

But I mean, people don't always drift from each other.

They don't, but there's a safeguard in case they do, is the point.

Yeah, but here's the thing: most of the time, you're safe.

It'd be like if we were in a haunted house, you've got like a shield, but instead of standing in front of us and protecting us from the dragon, you're standing in front of a bowl of fruit.

It doesn't make any sense.

I don't safeguarding us from.

Is that a dragon in a haunted house?

No, no, no, no, no, a castle or something.

What?

Do you think that's what is in a haunted house?

Is this because we played Repo earlier?

Yeah, I've got Repo on on the mind.

Is a dragon in the haunted house?

Dragon isn't a ghost.

It's like you're standing there with the fire extinguisher, but we're all freezing cold.

Okay.

I think you're making a point.

He's making a point, but it's irrelevant to what I'm saying.

You're protecting us from something that hasn't occurred.

Yes, but I'm saying the point of my question was I'm trying to figure out when when you think it could.

I don't know, 40 minutes.

Okay, that's all I wanted.

That's all I was asking.

That was a long way around 40 minutes.

God damn.

All it was.

I've edited videos for 10 years without tail syncs.

If it drifts, you just chop it somewhere in the middle, slide over a bit.

You'll be right.

So Gavin is against tail syncs in general, unless somebody drops a recording.

No, I love them.

Okay.

I don't agree with them.

It sounds like he's arguing against them.

Yeah.

We used to not do any kind of sync at all.

That's true.

Trevor Burrus, early Minecraft.

We'd all just start recording and start talking.

Well, we were inventing the medium, you know.

We hadn't figured out all the rules quite yet.

I used to do it in Minecraft.

Like, if someone opened a door, I would find the door sound on everyone's footage and I'd sync it like that.

God damn, we used to sync it.

I'd love to see what the video was that we first sunk, you know?

I think it was episode three.

Oh, maybe?

Achievement C.

Okay.

All right.

There you go.

Wow.

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So I have three things I want to give you guys the opportunity to pick.

I have a game that I've created for you that I think you will absolutely hate.

I have a dark mystery that has unfolded in my life.

And I have a very fun, this is kind of like at the end of ridiculousness when he gives them the prompt, which, you know, you get two prompts and you like pick which one you get get and then you watch the clip.

Of course, in that case, it's usually the same clip.

They just give you two prompts that work for the same clip.

So it's the illusion of choice.

This is actual choice.

The third idea is a fun little word game I came up with, movie game I came up with at the airport when I was waiting on American Airlines to get their shit together for four hours the other day.

So there you go.

Dark Mystery, Game You'll Hate, Fun Little Mall word game.

I figured we'll get to them all eventually, but just fucking, which one are we going to do today?

Should we all post our votes in the chat at the same time?

Okay.

Okay.

Type the number.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

So let's go.

Let's, for a point of clarity, the number, let's, let's order this.

All right.

Yep.

So the first will be game you hate.

Okay.

That's number one.

Okay.

Dark mystery is number two.

Okay.

Number three is fun movie word game.

Okay.

Here we go.

On three.

One, two,

three.

Ooh, two, two, two, one, two.

Yeah.

Dark mystery time.

Dark mystery.

I just want to make sure we get the mystery because we're going to get a game no matter what it sounds like.

It sounds like we're getting at least two of these.

Yeah, I'm with Andrew.

I really want to know what the dark mystery is.

How graphic

visual

if I sent you guys a photo?

This photo probably will not make it on air.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, God.

I'm nervous now.

What the?

How dark is this mystery, dude?

It's pretty gross.

Did you find a dead body?

Yes.

As a matter of fact, I did.

I have stumbled upon a serial killer that lives in my yard

Sometime last fall,

next to my trash can, I want to say like maybe October, November, there was a bird, a big bird that had been

just

ripped to shreds, right?

And I thought like, oh, that's hideous.

What could have got it?

It's so gross.

And I had to like grab it before Albert could get to it.

And I didn't think anything of it.

I threw a, you know, disposed of it and

went about my life.

Completely forgot about the incident.

And then about two months ago, I found a bird in the same spot beheaded.

And there was no head.

It was just the bird's body and no head.

Then one month ago, in the exact same spot, I found just a dead little bird.

It didn't have any signs of mauling or anything.

So I thought, oh, okay.

So I got, yesterday, I left to go to the post office for a bit.

And you know how, like, when you walk outside, sometimes you're hit with the stench of death?

Yeah.

And I was like, oh, my God, it was overpowering.

And so I thought, maybe there's like a rat in a rat trap, or I don't know.

So I thought I should investigate.

And on the other side of my house, in the exact same spot, but on the other side of my house, like my house has two like runways that run along the side, it's like a thin yard, you know.

Uh-huh.

On the other side, I found a photo.

Well, I didn't find the photo, I took a photo, and I'm sending to you.

This is things have accelerated.

Oh, oh, my God.

I took a squirrel and ripped it in half in my yard.

Oh, you should

shred it.

There is a serial killer that lives in my tiny little yard, and I think now it knows that I know.

That's two squirrels.

That's two, yeah.

No, it's actually the squirrel ripped in half, I think.

But it has a back leg and a back leg on the other one.

Yeah.

It's two squirrels.

Okay, that's a squirrel and a half then.

Yeah, it is a squirrel and a half.

It is a squirrel and a half.

It's a squirrel and a half.

I would say it's like three corners of a squirrel.

Yeah.

Can you do me a favor and delete the photo of the one and a half squirrels, please?

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No problem.

It's a hideous photo for sure.

That's my dark mystery is that I am now aware that there is something that is hunting animals and not just killing them for nourishment, I assume, but as some sort of an expression of anger and mental illness.

Do you need to borrow a security camera?

You know what?

I need, that's the next step.

I need to set up security cameras in those two spots.

We got to see what's going on.

Yeah, we should do that.

Do you need to borrow a pellet gun?

Like, what the fuck, dude?

This is crazy.

I don't know.

And so, another thing is I thought, like, Emily and I were talking about it.

And I thought, well, maybe it's a raccoon or something, but it.

I don't know that a raccoon could rip something up like that.

And I don't know that it would leave that much behind.

So it's probably a bird, like an owl or some kind of bird of prey.

But we have one of those haiku boxes that records every bird that comes within, you know, 10 feet of our yard or whatever.

And there's been nothing on the recording.

So there have been no birds that could do this kind of damage.

So I really don't know.

But, and there's no cats, by the way, not a, there's no like yard cats around us.

I was, we were talking about that, and I realized I don't think I've seen a cat in my neighborhood yet.

So I really don't know what it is.

How did it get?

Firstly, it got two squirrels and put them in the same place.

Yeah.

Yep.

That's real weird.

It is weird, right?

Pack a squirrel, maybe?

The squirrels go in packs?

I don't know if you can tell, but next to one of those squirrels, well, it's gone now, but there was a bunch of drier lint.

So I think they must have found the squirrel in its nest and like ripped or them out of inclusion.

Oh, geez.

Like including the fabric of its nest, wherever that was.

I think we as a show should send Jeff a child detective set and then get an update once he receives it and he can do a thorough investigation.

Figure out everything he needs.

Jeff, Jeff, you can be Encyclopedia Brown.

I can be Encyclopedia Brown.

Well, I would like to solve this outside of

the library, but

I think that the cameras and maybe some sort of junior detective kit, we could get to the bottom of this, but I'm real disturbed now because things seem to be accelerating.

Did I ever show you when my bin filled up with water?

Yes.

It suffocated something, right?

Yeah.

Something drowned in it.

Yeah.

It was a raccoon or something or a possum.

Yeah, I don't think you showed it, but I remember hearing about this.

Oh, God, I know.

I see the preview image.

I'm good.

I'm good.

What is that?

I don't know.

I just walked out and

I smelt death.

Oh my God, Gavin.

You might want to call APD.

That looks like a crunch.

I thought that's way worse than what I showed you.

Oh my God.

Check your water filter.

Delete that

gas water filter.

Yeah, at some point in that bin became so because

I lost the lid at some point and it became so filled with water that I couldn't move it anymore.

And I thought, oh, I should really kick that over at some point because

the water's in it.

Next time I came out, smelt death and there was a rotten animal in it.

Dude, you know, that's just a mosquito breeding ground.

Oh,

open the water like that.

That was thousands of them.

It was rough.

Throw a dunk in there or something.

It's funny, you forget your lid and the consequences that animal goes through, whatever that experienced.

Yeah, and I wonder how if it can get out because it's just a bin.

You think it could just reach up, but I guess not.

Yeah, I don't know.

And then it looked like something ate it.

Well, I think it just got bloated and split open.

It makes me wonder if it fell in when it was much more shallow.

It died and then the rain lifted it closer to the surface.

Oh, God.

What a combo.

Careful of your bins.

Yeah, I don't know, Jeff.

I don't know what I have no answers to your mystery at this current time.

Well, we can try the...

I mean,

I'm discovering and putting the pieces together in real time, you know?

And so this is all very fresh and new to me.

Even though this has been something that's going on technically since last October, I didn't realize that there was a pattern until yesterday.

And

so, so, yeah,

I'm really interested in the idea of setting up some webcams and seeing if we can figure it out.

Because.

While I think it's probably just an owl or some bird that's doing it very quietly and avoiding my haiku box bird detection, like maybe it's like, who knows?

Maybe it's like an owl that was in some sort of an owl gang and suffered like it's maybe its larynx got cut or something.

And so it can't make owl noises anymore.

And it's got like a cool owl scar.

So it's like a silent killer.

But I am a little worried that it might be some sort of a satanic small animal ring that's doing blood sacrifices in my yard.

So if it's like maybe like a couple of possums and my neighbor has chickens, like who knows what it could be.

The chickens.

It's definitely not the chickens, but they could be a part of absolutely.

That's what I mean.

They could be a part of some sort of a you know, a

dark ritual for sure.

Perhaps I think they're just being left there.

I don't think that's where the murders are happening.

That's what I was wondering, too, because there's a lack of gore that's not the crime score.

Although it has been raining a lot, it could have washed the gore out.

That's a good point.

That's an excellent point: is that they could be being brought there.

And

I am missing half a squirrel, about a third of that other squirrel, and then the head for that one bird are just gone.

So maybe they're at the site of attack, or who knows?

God knows.

But I'm just hoping

it doesn't escalate any further.

And I'm going to

keep you guys updated and maybe we'll work out some sort of camera situation.

And the junior detective kit.

This is

a weird thing where I'm processing.

I don't actually think I want you to solve this because I don't want that footage.

Whatever is occurring, I don't think I need to see that.

Yeah, but it's not going to, on a night vision camera, it's not going to be as gruesome as the picture.

Also, you don't think that if you saw a raccoon and a possum and an owl in a circle in robes performing some dark incantation on a

squirrel, you're going to want to see that.

No, I'm going to want to see it.

They got little robes on.

I want to see that.

Or what if it's just a guy pulling up in a car?

He opens his window and dumps out a bucket of animal bits.

Now, Gavin's my number one suspect.

That was an insane thing to say.

What if it happens to to be a British individual living in Texas currently that swings on by?

This is Gavin's cucumbers.

I think he might be leading this investigation.

I think he's dropping clues.

No, I don't even kill bugs in that.

Right.

You just let your buckets do your dirty work and then you deal with the

trim kills.

That is.

You just don't want the bodies on your property.

You're not killing them.

You're just moving the bodies that have died on your property to Jeff's.

I also, you know, we have that serial killer that's killing people around Town Lake.

What if the heat is on and they're just, they got to aim lower?

Oh, man, they're on to me.

I've been killing too many tech bros and dumping them over the bridge.

I better cut a squirrel in half to be one half and dump the other full squirrel in this guy's yard.

Also, also, what if the other parts to those animals are being dumped in one of my neighbor's yards and they're having a similar discovery right now?

You know, I don't, I don't want to be overly morbid, but I feel like the transition is similar from going to Coke to Diet Coke.

Like maybe they're trying to

experience the same thing, but on a lesser level.

100%.

Yeah.

Serial killer zero.

Yeah.

So yeah, like

squirrels are diet coke for serial killers.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Wow.

Like they've been consuming too much Coke and now.

And these are, like, I got to be honest.

I, each one of these ideas is just as plausible as the next to me.

And we're just, I feel like we're just scratching the surface.

That's why I want to get to the bottom of it because I got to know, is it the rainy street ripper?

Is it an owl?

Is it a just like a murderous owl that had its throat slit in a gang fight?

Or is it

a dark satanic small animal cult?

Like, it could be any of a myriad of things.

Could

I you know if you start getting zodiac letters but with creepers in the letters I'd Gavin theory once again one more Gavin

I think we can't rule Gavin out

interesting interesting that's exactly what someone who it was would say

of course you'd say it wasn't you

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You were made to outdo your holiday,

your hammocking,

and your pooling.

We were made to help organize the competition.

Expedia, made to travel.

Jeff, are you aware that the

audience has a clip?

Uh, yeah.

What do they have a clip of?

Oh, do they have a clip of me saying collab as if that's some sort of a smoking gun?

Is that what you're talking about?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you know why I hate the word collab?

Because I found myself saying it so much and I fucking hearing myself saying it made me hate it.

All they're doing is showing me a video of the day I decided never to say the word again.

Interesting.

Fantastic.

Well, that's a good point.

I thought that was so strange that they thought that was some sort of a like, haha, we got you.

You used to say it.

Yeah, I used to drink a lot too.

I don't anymore.

People stop doing things.

Or you hear cold turkey on the bottom.

Or they keep doing it, but instead it's squirrels now.

Half a squirrel for every collab.

Anyway,

I thought that clip was useless because all it did was be like, yeah, I can hear myself being annoyed with myself in the clip.

Like, it should be pretty clear I don't like saying the word while I'm saying it.

I do like the idea of the audience praying clips, though.

That's phenomenal.

Yeah, I do.

I really like it.

I think it's great too.

Have serial killers ever collabed has there ever been a known serial killing collab i isn't that like most of the silence of the land sequels shipman x west i mean in real life oh

like

i don't know name a famous serial killer like discover i'm describing what it sounds like a dexter season essentially yeah yeah it's the trinity killer all over If it happened, it was successful and you don't get to know about it.

I guess, yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

Also, I think serial killers have really slowed down because of technology.

You know, it was a serial killers were really prominent in the 60s and the 70s and the 80s when it was harder to catch them.

Yeah.

Fucking cameras.

They take it, they, they,

they ruin everything.

They ruin everything.

What a, I mean,

the surveillance state or whatever complaint, like, is that that's the positive we reduce serial killers?

I, I mean, I would think so.

Wonder statistically, or is it just more muddled now?

I think it's a lot harder to get away with that stuff, especially with DNA

evidence and technology.

But also, I think the real thing is that there were probably a lot more serial killers back in the day that people didn't know about because people weren't, because information wasn't shared as readily and as easily, it was harder to connect dots.

Yeah, I wonder how many people with no friends or family would just disappeared and no one even noticed.

Yeah.

I'm surprised that with modern tech, there's not more technology-based killings.

You just don't hear a a lot of, you don't hear a lot about like a drone with a knife on it or anything.

Ignore whatever I was going to say.

Let's go down this road.

A drone with a knife on it, huh?

It's really weird that you don't hear more about a drone with a knife that targets trees with squirrels.

It would just be so jarring to get stabbed in the back with a drone.

Just swoop down out of nowhere.

Walking down the street and you hear

then all of a sudden, what the hell?

I'm imagining that clip that Drake posted to promote that gambling thing of the drone, like for Teddy Geez, trying to destroy the drone that's filming him in his apartment.

But if there's a knife on it, that is such a better clip.

Just a knife drone flying by.

I mean, we did it with Roombas, Jeff.

Do you think maybe we should put balloons and knives on drones and see what we could do?

I think that's a great idea.

And I think that's a terrible idea.

That's our next live-action video.

We need two.

Why are there balloons?

That's the target.

That's the hop.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're trying to pop each other's balloon.

We made a video okay i understand

years ago with roombas

and balloons and it did very well yeah i think drones are the well i mean the nice thing about the roombas was it was random right because the roombas are have a mind of their own but i would like skill-based i would like a skill-based knife fight with you yes

yeah there you go

I guess the area would be too wide.

I was going to say, is there not like an AI drone type thing where it's like, autopilot?

We'll steer for you, but I guess they'd probably actively avoid each You'd never get it.

Yeah, you could have them like follow you and stuff, but I don't think you would want the knife one when it's doing that.

That's very funny.

Can we put, can we put like GoPros on the drones?

Yeah, here's what we do.

Do you want to get like a real first?

Okay, this is okay.

Go for it.

We'll do it just like Mario Kart 64 battle mode.

Three balloons,

four players,

GoPros on them.

I love it.

Perfect.

All indoors.

What Has to be indoors.

What?

All indoors.

You can do it indoors.

You can do it.

A kitchen or something.

Yeah.

A kitchen?

Here's what we'll do.

We'll get an office and then we'll do it in our new office.

No, no, no, no, no.

We can't because that's so close to us.

Drones with knives feel like something's going to be.

What if we decide

the knife goes in?

No, the

rotor.

I have a solution.

I have a solution, Eric.

Don't worry.

What if we're outside looking through the windows

and operating the drones remotely?

Can you imagine people walking by wondering why

poor dudes would crouch looking into a building and be like, there's knives, drones, and knives in there?

It'd be an absolute racket.

I think we have to do this.

All right, hold on.

I got to put this on the...

We're going to drop this.

I got to put it on the sheet.

I think you guys could get together when Gavin needs to shave and just stand outside and go through a window.

Make some drones.

This is going to be expensive.

I've never owned a drone, but I think they're pricey.

No, it can't be pricey.

They have to be junk drones.

But can a junk drone lift a knife?

A small one, sure.

We don't need a katana on these drones.

I think it's got to be scary, though.

It's going to be like a big kitchen honker of a knife.

I think it could go either way.

I think it could either be incredibly small and ridiculous.

What if you draw for knives and there's different sizes?

Oh, that's interesting.

Oh,

I like this.

You can potentially

pick the biggest knife, but you might have like a front-heavy problem.

Yeah,

I really like the idea of that.

It's possible to have a badass knife that the drone just cannot lift, that you get no air off of.

Just like sitting duck dragging along the ground.

I think this writing that down too, we draw for knives.

Yeah, I think this is a good idea, right?

Yeah, this is a great idea.

And we addressed Eric's safety concerns.

Yeah, we'll be outside.

This is not addressing my safety concerns whatsoever.

Why not?

We're set.

What can we do?

I don't foresee it.

We need to be in.

If we're going to do it indoors, we need a big location, like a big hangar or a warehouse or something.

So we can be at a distance watching this.

A rotor is going to get hit with a knife and this thing's going to spin and it's going to gore the slow-mo guy.

And it's not

good.

He's outside looking through a window.

I don't trust.

How about that?

How about this?

What if we have him wear goggles and a neck gator?

What?

It's going to protect his neck so it can't be gored.

Yeah.

Nick knows.

Yeah.

Neck gator.

Yeah, you know.

Why would that protect his neck?

It's fabric.

Better than it's

the knife's going to have to puncture that before it gets to him.

Yeah.

We can put we can beef it up.

We can put stuff in there.

Are we going to go FPV or are we just going to be flying based on sight through the window?

I don't know.

I guess it depends on the drone we have.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right, well, we'll have to investigate because we want to make sure Eric is on board by addressing all of his safety concerns to his satisfaction while also addressing all of our danger and fun concerns, which require us to do it indoors in a small office.

Will this be our first regulation risk assessment?

Oh,

oh, that's interesting.

Oh, that isn't.

I assess it as very dangerous.

I'm imagining all of the drone shot scenes and ambulance and how terrifying it would be if there's a knife on that thing.

Like, that's just a horror movie.

Can you imagine just someone putting a knife on all that footage?

It'd be so funny.

That's a brilliant idea, Gavin.

Yeah, I love it.

Well done.

I mean, I made up for your earlier bullshit.

No, that's fair.

I just, it is completely irrelevant, but I'm watching.

I have a prop auction up on the side for movies, and this is currently what's up for bid.

And

I just want to share really quickly.

It is a Demolition Man Planet Hollywood collection cryogenically frozen John Spartan Sylvester Stallone figure.

What?

How much is that going for?

Currently $10,000 was the last shit I saw.

Oh my god!

I think it's sold for $10,000.

It looks so bad.

It looks so bad.

It is like a life-sized

Sylvester Stallone in a very unflattering pose.

The least.

A face that looks like an impersonator.

I think in the movie it has bollocks, doesn't it?

Well, I think that black thing I think is cover is like Photoshop.

I think it's.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I think it's a naked thing because you see it through the tank.

Oh, you think it's got a dick?

I think it does.

Oh, man.

Why else are you buying it if not for

someone yesterday?

I would.

Oh, man.

Imagine being in person at an auction, seeing the guy who's bidding for that.

Yeah.

10,000.

One.

You gotta have it.

The next item up for sale is a departed sign.

Like, it's just so funny to me to go from those stallone, naked, dick, hanging out, frozen thing to, oh, here's just an autograph of the cast of the departed.

Bunch of photos put together.

Just the biggest transition.

Are you excited about your item layer?

I'm very excited for us.

Watching it.

I made a joke.

You mine

was too much for the podcast.

Thank you, Eric.

This whole podcast has been too much for the podcast this has been this has been one that's like way in one direction maybe i should do the game you guys are going to hate then just really send it over the edge yeah let's let's go for it yeah we should but i'm just imagining stallone somehow learning about what you said as a comment jeff and being outraged about it and making a statement he would be very happy

oh he'd be so upset oh yeah he wouldn't be happy he would not like it Okay, I wanted to come up with a theme song and stuff, but then I realized I don't know how to do that.

But this is a game show I created.

This is a game show I created for you guys months ago that I've been holding on to for just the right moment.

And since this is an already gross episode, and I know that this is going to go very badly, and I'll be interested to see if we get through the game.

I think that that would be a personal win for me, but I suspect that it'll be one of those things where the audience turns on me and everybody's mad at me for a little while.

Okay.

Can you attempt a theme song?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let me hold on a second.

Here we go.

It's a fart.

No, it's not.

No, he's a talked about this.

Everybody's talking about this.

What's up?

That's our song.

This has been pitched.

Oh, no.

Yeah, this is in a new game.

This is a new game.

This is, you know, we haven't played it yet, so it's new.

Is it a fart or is it something else?

Now, here's how it works.

I'm going to play a clip for you guys, and you have the easiest job in the world.

All you have to do is listen to the clip, and then you just have to make the determination.

That's a fart or it's not.

It's something else.

And something else could be anything.

It could be an Oldsmobile backfiring.

It could be a squeaky wheel.

But it's not going to be hamper.

It could be somebody banging a nail with a hammer.

It could be your grandmother's.

It's never going to be.

It could be anything in the world other than a fart.

You just have to tell me.

You don't have to tell me what it is.

You don't have to get that right.

You don't even have to try.

You just have to say, no, that's not a fart.

So the answer will be A, a fart, or B, something else.

And we can post that.

A fart or B something else.

Okay.

You guys want to try?

Yeah.

All right.

So I'll just play it off my phone.

All right.

This is the first one.

All right.

You just have to tell me, is it a fart or something else?

Oh my God.

Now, was that a fart or was it something else?

We need to like

you need like a lifestyle change, I think.

Something else.

Does everybody want to weigh in?

If it's not a beat, Nick said beats.

That was full-blown poo.

Okay.

Well, we're not saying what it was.

We're just determining, Gavin, I think you're the only one who hasn't answered.

B.

Okay, Gavin says B.

That is correct.

That was not a fart.

That was something else.

Do you guys want to hear another one?

No.

Not really.

Oh, my God.

Well, you got to do at least one more.

You can't just do a game of one.

Let's see.

If you guys get it.

How about this?

If you guys nail this one, you win.

All right.

What do we win?

You don't have to play anymore.

Oh, great.

Okay.

Let's try.

Ooh, some of these are so long.

Fingers crossed for the Oldsmobile.

Could be an Oldsmobile.

That's correct.

You don't never know.

You never know.

Let's try.

Ooh, let's try this one.

La la la la la.

For God's sake, this sucks.

This is the worst game in the world.

B.

It's definitely B.

B.

Everybody beats B.

Correct, correct, correct.

That was something else.

If you guys want to keep playing, I've got

six or seven more prompts that I've prepared.

Nobody wants to.

No.

Why have you done this?

For this.

So that I could play the game.

Fart or something else.

Is it a fart or is it not?

Is it wet?

Or is it hot?

Is it a fart?

Is it something else?

There you go.

It's always something else.

It's always something else.

It's always the same thing.

Yeah, the problem is that really the game is just called shit.

Unfortunately, we didn't get to a fart because you guys maybe cut the game down early, but we might have at some point.

We might have actually.

You could have heard something like this.

No.

No, okay.

All right.

Play a fart.

I mean, should we hear a third just to make sure we

give it a fair shot?

Fine, whatever.

Do it.

You never know.

It could be a fart this time.

If it is a fart.

All right.

Let me see if I can find a good clip.

Should we release a separate cut of this?

Like

palatable edition?

And then

that was a definite fart.

That was a fart.

Oh, okay.

Oh,

Gavin missed it.

It was A.

Yeah.

Sorry.

That's all right.

You guys, you guys got it.

So, so you see, there are farts in the mix.

Like, it wasn't always going to be something else.

There are definitely farts.

I wasn't going to do that to you guys.

What kind of a game show would that be?

That would just be trickery.

No,

you've gotten in the room at various streaming companies before.

Like, you've pitched to Netflix and stuff, haven't you?

Or like some other companies?

Every fucking network you know, I have pitched to.

Could potentially get you back in the room.

Like Ramsey's back.

He's got new ideas.

I want you to go in there and actually pitch that and see how long you get to stay in the building.

Oh, dude.

I would, are you kidding?

I fucking killed in my TLC pitch.

They would love this.

Oh, how do we get you back in?

Get me back in the room with TLC or the lifetime they liked me.

Netflix.

Netflix is cool.

This feels like more of a Netflix idea.

I don't know anybody at Hulu.

I don't know.

Hey,

if you're a network executive and you're interested in potentially a radical new game show, fart, or something else, hit us up.

Email me at eric at jeffsboss.com.

David Zaslav is frantically typing, We Let him go!

Yeah, you heard!

You hear this, gold?

We released this!

All right, well, thank you guys for playing America's favorite new game.

Is it a fart or something else?

What a shit way to end the end the episode.

wait literally

oh something else you guys you guys want a palate cleanser yeah yeah i know i'm i'm so worried i was killing uh time at the airport the other day because my flight got delayed 17 times and i was bored to death and uh what i tend to do my idle mind instead of like listening to podcasts or doing work i always end up just like inventing games to occupy my time and i played uh i played sloppy joe's bingo at the airport for a while with the exact same prompts and it's surprisingly a a lot of it works.

But even that,

even bingo gets boring if you're just playing by yourself, right?

So I came up with a game

that is, it's more of

like a prompt, like a thought starter kind of game.

But I had this idea, take a movie title and flip it and create another movie out of the title

that sounds totally different from the movie.

I'll give you an example.

Point break, flipped would be breakpoint, a movie about a guy who's having a terrible day and he's at his breaking point and things just keep getting worse.

And can he hold it together, right?

So it doesn't work for every movie, right?

Because some it doesn't change the meaning.

Like surf ninjas backwards is just ninjas surf.

That's not cool.

But here are some that I think you'll find that are awesome.

White snow.

It's a movie about a woman who's dealing cocaine internationally.

White snow instead of snow white.

Completely flips the game on that.

The other one, other ones I came up with, Gump Forest.

Don't go into the Gump Forest.

You may never come out.

it's a horror movie oh

wrath of the grapes do not make eye contact with the grapes they're very angry

uh dog reservoir i don't know what it is but i don't want to go down there

society poets dead it's a movie about a serial killer who's uh targeting society poets high society poets father god father god

Father God is a great one.

The story of Jesus and his dad.

And then the other one I had was The Giant Iron, which is a story about a community that needed a roadside attraction and they didn't have a claim to fame.

So they built the world's largest iron, but then they didn't actually,

there was one that they just weren't aware of that was even larger and it all ended up in failure.

It was a sad movie.

And those are the ones that I was able to come up with when Summer, I know what you did last.

That's great one, Nick.

Thank you.

We'll say a film that I personally thought was shit, not great action, was three.

Battle was not compelling.

Ended very quickly.

It's pretty good.

To see that ran is 0-0-3.

I saw a really cool scientific movie about the ship that went out of control.

It's called Struck Moon.

Hour Rush.

It's surprisingly hard to come up with him.

Bull Raging.

It's just a pissed off bull, and he's got a score to settle.

That's a good one.

That's a good one.

I like the golden man with the gun.

You're just reworking titles, though, Nick.

That's not.

Nick's having fun.

But he's a gold man and he has a gun.

You could have backwards, though.

Nick's just having snakes.

No, it's not backwards now.

He's got to be drifting around.

Bendetta for V.

Poppins Mary.

It's a breakdancing woman in the 1980s.

Ooh, air con

about air conditioning.

No, you're running an elaborate con in an airplane.

Okay.

Bud Air.

It's about this new strain of weed that's released into

the oxygenation system and everybody gets high.

Oh, no, it's about a, it's about the Bud Air.

It's a document, it's a docudrama about the nation's first weed-based airplane service.

Oh.

Like a soul plane type thing, maybe?

Yeah, yeah like soul plane but i but it's like it's kind of like weed tourism so you get on and you get high while you get high it's a whole thing barrel smoking two and stock clock

anyway i just throw that out there for you guys if you ever get bored it's it's a it's a good way to entertain yourself for about 12 minutes i mean trying to come up two-word movie titles just trying to think of a bunch of two-word movie titles is like tough it is it is I just read, I eventually gave up and just went down lists of best movies for a while.

Ice Snake, that's a good one.

Hustle American, just an American guy who just can't stop.

He's just going, he's running across the country.

What's great about so many of these is I read them as Yoda.

Oh, that's pretty good.

Ice Snake feels like a Yoda thing.

Sea Blue Deep.

Yeah, that's a shockingly fun game.

Yeah, I like it.

Well, thank American Express American Express.

Thank American Airlines.

Thanks, American Express.

Thank Airlines America.

I'll have a little movie thing for the next episode that I'm excited for.

Questions?

I stumbled onto something.

Well, let's end this podcast so that we can wait a week and then find out.

And if you're listening to the clean version, this is probably about 40 minutes long.

Oh, God.

This one got a little out of control.

We'll get it back.

Yeah, we'll be back.

We'll bounce back.

I wouldn't count on it, but we'll

bounce back, unlike the small dead animals in my yard.

We'll see you next week.

Don't forget to tell somebody you know about this podcast.

Maybe not this episode, but an episode.

And as always, we love you.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Gavin, should we tail sync?

It's more than 40 minutes.

I'm just checking.