"Maria Shriver"
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One, two, three, go.
Talking on a podcast.
Talking on a podcast.
Talking on a podcast.
Yeah.
Belton to Smart.
Let's talk about Smart.
Let's talk about a podcast.
Let's talk.
Smart.
Let's.
Smart.
Let's.
Smart.
Let's.
Did you guys
see each other last night?
Did you have a fun day?
Yeah.
We did.
We had a little Grammy watch party.
Yes.
Oh, you did.
I almost called in.
I almost did a call in because I miss everybody.
I know.
We miss you too.
You When are you back?
You're not back for what, two more months?
No, I'm coming back tomorrow for a few days, but I'm going to miss this weekend.
I know this weekend is a thing up at the place
for a friend, and I can't
go because I'm really bummed.
You're going to go, right?
No, I'm not.
I can't.
I go to London tomorrow.
Oh, you're going to London tomorrow.
You start tomorrow.
No, no, that.
No, but I mean, you start your journey, your process.
Do you have a complicated character you're playing in this next job, Shawnee?
Not at all.
No?
So no no homework, no process, no.
I mean, yeah, because I'm a nerd, I do all that stuff still, but it's.
Wait, wait, give us a slight little window into that.
Well, it's the same.
Can we say hi to your character?
Yeah.
Couldn't he make a visit with us?
Sure.
Let me see.
Go ahead.
Do you have a question for him?
Hey, good morning.
How are you today?
Good morning.
Oh,
wow.
Oh, he's a
radio personality.
No, he's a game show host.
Oh, really?
Oh, okay.
And what's his name?
I don't know his name.
It's just a game show host.
Oh, his name is just host.
Okay.
So, host,
how are we doing today?
I'm not doing this.
It's so icky.
You get shy.
Will.
You get shy.
Could you imagine?
Wait, anyway, quickly,
and this is
Universal.
You're going overseas, you're flying, you're taking a night flight.
Are you going to eat the meal on the plane?
Will you eat on the plane?
JB, will you eat the airline?
You got to stay alive.
Yeah.
I do like the airline food.
You do.
It's gotten better over the last 50 years.
I had heard a rumor that they stock it full of stuff to stop you from pooing.
What, to stop you up, you mean?
Yeah.
There's a binding element to all plane food?
Sure, a binding element because they don't want
people taking trouble.
People like Sean and Scotty, you know, just gorging themselves and all of a sudden, like, you know, cranky idiots.
Yeah.
Will, Will, what newsletters are you into lately?
I mean, are you like,
where are you getting all this stuff?
Well, you know, I still subscribe to all my German poop mags.
Remember those
air mall magazines that used to be?
Oh, I love them.
Yes.
They're so popular.
Yeah, like the hammocker Schlemmers section on it and stuff.
You're like, of course I need a fucking ping-pong table that folds up into a compartment trunk.
Did you ever buy anything from one of those?
I think, like a dog door.
Do they
use barf bags in the back of the seats?
I haven't looked for a while.
They do because I chew a lot of gum.
But isn't that interesting?
Like a lot of people don't throw up like they did in the 70s.
Now nobody throws up on a plane.
Oh, you think that people throw up less?
Yeah, they're right on a plane.
On a plane.
Like, when have you heard, seen somebody throw up on a plane?
Right.
It used to be an every have you ever thrown up on a plane?
Oh, sure.
I have.
I had too much kiwi once.
Yeah.
Jesus.
I threw up.
I threw up.
I got on a plane.
I was super hungover.
I was about 18.
Okay.
Well, you threw up from hungover, not the plane.
Yeah, not the plane.
But I remember vividly,
we're taxiing out, leaving Toronto, and just as we start to, as we start to increase speed, I go, I'm going to need my bag.
Somebody had sealed it with a piece of gum.
Can I just say it is gross?
I filled it.
I filled the bag.
I had to get another, I had to hold it as we took off.
And I'm like, oh,
I'm going to throw it on our bag.
It was a, what a dream.
Actually,
it should be noted.
I threw up in the airport terminal before I got on the plane.
This, I was walking in the old Toronto terminal number one.
So it shows you how long it was.
It's gone, long gone.
And I remember walking to the gate, I guess, from having checked in and being like, oh boy, I got to go.
And I ran and there was this, I opened a door.
I thought there was a bathroom.
It was no bathroom, but there was a door and I opened it and it's just the stairs, like the raw stairs going up.
And you're like, oh, that'll do.
And there were people coming, and I literally go,
and they moved and I threw up down the stairs.
Just a big cascade.
Jack dial.
That is something.
Isn't that unreal?
It was so gross.
I've thrown up in a while.
Have either of you guys thrown up in a while.
Not in a long time.
About 10 years ago, I was doing reshoots
on
And I was like, I woke up one morning and I started throwing and going.
It was a two-part affair.
Everything was happening at once.
And then we were like, we were on reshoots and we had to go.
And I went.
And
everybody, like most other people on set had gotten this bug was going through.
And at one point, I was working,
shooting a scene with somebody, and they go, the director goes, okay, Will.
Okay.
He's like, okay, just come out here.
and then you just got to run across the parking lot.
I go, Dude, I'm not running anywhere because if I
run one foot, one foot, it's all it's all over.
Something's going to open.
What was the movie?
Wonderful.
Which is a great segue to our guest.
I really enjoyed that film.
That's a callback.
I love it.
My guest today has been a close friend of mine for decades.
She's
get to the good part.
He's so far from the stage.
Guys,
who is the guest?
Before I go.
Fuck.
Fuck me.
God, I'm crying.
Me too.
Okay.
Now listen.
We got it.
come on guys you know what i think i truly believe when you when you laugh that deep you you're killing cancer i truly believe that i think you're right i think you're right all right well we got to explain to her what the joke is so she's in on it all right so she's a very good friend of mine she's a peabody and emmy award-winning journalist and producer as well as a devoted mother grandmother and friend to so many she's the person i go to for advice about literally anything she's the author of seven new york times best-selling books seven i've been trying to get her to read them to me born in chicago just like me, but the former First Lady of California, which is only slightly like me.
It's the luminescent and brilliant and wonderful friend.
Oh, Maria Shriver.
Shriver.
I got it.
Maria Shriver.
I got it before you said it.
Okay.
Good morning.
You had to sit through all of that.
I can't believe that.
I can't believe it.
I'm going.
I'm throwing.
The throwing.
I just am like, oh, I feel so at home.
I have four brothers.
Yeah.
Why did you say yes to this?
A lot is happening.
A lot is happening.
You grew up like that.
I grew up like that i still live like that so i have four brothers so this was not a shock to me at all
i actually really enjoyed it they're also ding bats just like us huh forgive us forgive us the barf bag i've sat next to people like that so maria i have been so jealous of your friendship with shawne for so long i hear you're just the greatest ever um this is the first day of our friendship i'm very excited yeah first day of our friendship i know i've been asking sean to invite me on this show since the very beginning, and he wouldn't invite me.
No, no way, he wouldn't invite me.
He would never
invite me.
He has to be the reason why I have nothing.
Wait a minute.
Why?
Never.
No, I said we have to start with all the famous people.
Sean, you said to me.
Will's blocking.
Sean, you said, You said a friend of mine, you said, a friend of mine keeps texting me and asking me, and I keep telling her, no, what was it?
Was it Maria?
Now we're getting close to it.
No, Maria.
Oh, Sean.
No, I said.
Are you saying that about me?
No.
Oh, my God.
No, I said to you,
I said, do you want to come on?
You said, what am I going to talk about?
What would I ever talk about?
This was five years ago when we started.
And now you're like, can I come on the show?
I'm like, of course.
I'm like, because people will say to me, why is Sean never had you on his show?
It's so weird.
I go, I know.
It's so weird.
It's so weird.
No.
We can talk to you about anything, though, is what I love about you.
You can tackle anything.
That's why I can't wait to talk about 10,000 people.
But you said to me, I said, what I'm so excited about is the only show I've ever gone on where I haven't prepared at all because you told me not to prepare at all.
So I didn't brush my hair.
I had no makeup.
Because we're not anything.
We're not filming this.
It's just audio.
It's a podcast.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, but just, but I didn't prepare.
Please, please don't explain to her what a podcast is.
Thank you, Will.
Thank you.
I mean, my God.
Yeah.
Really?
Oh, my God.
It's insulting.
Insulting.
I can sit here with three men.
I don't know what's that.
What's that?
We're going to talk about that, too.
All right.
So
three men?
Yes.
You are.
Okay.
First of all, you're one of the most special people in my life.
I love you very much.
I've been for a very long time.
How'd you guys meet, by the way?
How did this start?
It started in 2001-ish around there.
And I used to date somebody that knew Maria, and that's how we introduced our internet.
God.
Okay.
Yeah.
So my first question, go ahead.
No, you go ahead with your first question.
Line it up.
I was just going to say, because you've been, because you've been that that to me in so many things to me, and you're always the person I go to for advice and blah, blah, blah.
Who is that for you?
Good question.
I often go to my kids, actually.
I have deep conversations with my kids.
It depends what I'm looking for advice for.
I have four brothers.
So I usually go to them.
I would say I go to my four brothers,
depending on the subject matter.
But so each brother is a little different.
They have a different level of expertise in different areas.
But I often go
probably my brothers, my kids,
sometimes my son-in-law.
Now I go to
him.
We love him.
Yeah.
So for my sister, my sister, that's Chris Pratt.
My sister, who doesn't write?
We adore Chris.
We love him.
We play golf with him sometimes.
We like to hang out with him.
He's the funniest.
He's such a naturally funny guy.
Yeah, he imitates you guys playing golf.
Does he?
Uh-oh.
Yeah, he does.
It's not pretty.
It's not pretty.
It's not pretty.
Throw your ball into the woods, and that's an imitation of me playing golf.
Maria,
what area lately do you find yourself reaching out for advice on?
What area in this crazy-ass world
is confusing you most?
Well, how to stay engaged and not be mean?
in the engagement, how to get above all of the rancor and still stay in
trying to make the world world better, still trying to figure out how, yeah, how to keep your voice measured, really good word, how to keep
myself focused on what I'm trying to focus on and not get mixed up in what everybody wants to get you mixed up in.
Sometimes I do that well and sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I ask my priest, actually, depending on what the subject is.
But
well, you know, lately, and not to get sorry to cut you up, but not to get too political, but it does seem that lately,
but lately,
lately, there seems to be this
pressure on one side to kind of take the gloves off and meet the other side where they're at.
And I'm wondering if you have a perspective on that.
Yes, I don't.
I try not to do that.
I try not to do that.
I try not to get into that at all.
I try to just figure out what do I want to change in the world?
What's my issue?
What are the one or two things I want to do?
And I try to stay on that and really focus on that.
I have a spiritual practice that helps me in the morning stay focused.
And I try to talk about my own emotional sobriety.
And I try to think about, okay, how is this going to put my own
ball down the court?
I work on Alzheimer's research a lot.
I work on women's health.
And so I try to kind of focus on those things.
And I try not to kind of attack people personally, which is always a challenge.
I think that's really smart.
I love that.
I love you talking about
your spiritual practice you do in the morning and your emotional sobriety.
I really love that idea.
And then
do what you can in the immediate and be present in your life right here.
Yeah, I also try to follow people that I admire, who are inspiring, who I respect.
And there's a great guy named Father Richard Rohr who has a school.
It's called Contemplatives in Action.
And I think that that's a really cool concept to be in the world, but to be contemplative in it, to bring about change in the world.
But how you go about doing it, I think we think all the time we have to be angry and divisive and partisan to bring about any change.
And I don't subscribe to that.
I think that we can walk into the world and be
determined to be focused, but we don't have to be angry and mean about it.
It's kind of like, how do you fight, so to speak?
And we always think you have to fight rough and tumble and mean.
And I think you can fight for an issue
in a very focused way, but not a mean divisive way.
For sure.
So
you're so accomplished in so many different areas and mediums.
And
how are you, you mentioned Alzheimer's and women's health.
How are you pointing all those superpowers of yours right now?
Where are you enjoying putting all that stuff?
We're going to get into that.
She's got a wonderful magazine.
Yes.
Although
I just, I love, last year I worked with President Biden.
We started the very first White House initiative on women's health and research.
That was
really big because there had never been, believe it or not, in this country, a White House initiative on women's health and research.
And there had never been, we only spend 10% of the NIH budget on women's health and research.
So we're so far behind.
And that's.
Even though they're more than 50% of the population.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
And so that was a really big passion project.
And we did a lot of great work before he left.
And so that's something that's still really important to me because we're really far behind.
And for women of all ages.
And especially if you're, you know, the thing, one of the things I learned from you too is the, all of the, all of the statistics about women's health and women's Alzheimer's specifically, because I've been afflicted with it in my family, you have with your dad and my mom.
And so one of the things, you know, you always said, or in your research and your education about it, you've said it's really important to, as you get older, learn an instrument, learn a language, force yourself to remain social, even when you, because
you want to be more sedentary when you get older.
You're just like, I don't want to go out.
I don't want to do anything.
But it's so important to challenge your brain as you get older because nobody knows if you're going to get this.
Are you thinking about starting?
Yeah, I'm going to think about starting.
Sean's like his Broadway play show.
I mean, talk about memory.
Yeah.
Talk about an instrument.
I went there and I looked at
cry.
We've talked about an ad nauseum.
Would you, Maria, would you say that like staying and asked, and I point this towards
my partners here.
Would you think that staying in your house 364 days in the year, do you think that that's healthy?
No, that's not healthy.
I don't think you do that.
Well, it depends on what you're doing inside that house.
What are you doing inside that house?
Go, you go first.
Me?
Well, listen, when you talk about an instrument, does a remote control count?
You got to look at it and manipulate.
I can't do that.
I have to call my son all the time.
And he's like, I've shown you this before, mommy.
I said, i know but i can't remember could you show it again i was at your house for dinner on last thursday and this big thing we're watching tv and this big thing a thing comes on the screen and we're like how do you get rid of this she's like it'll go away it'll just go away turn it off turn it off it's not going away just leave it alone it'll go away it'll go
and did it go away did it go away actually
okay it went away it went away it said update now update later press here and john's like move it move it
so i could watch the three of you That's what he kept going.
He's like, I want to mirror the three of us.
I'm like, just wait a minute.
We'll watch the three of you.
He goes, you want to watch one version of us or do you want to watch 10 different clips of us?
I said, oh, I want to watch 10 different clips.
That's all I want to do tonight.
You're hijacked.
Yeah, is watch the three of you.
And we will be right back.
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Wait, go back to this.
I've never heard you say emotional
sobriety.
Yeah.
Can you explain to these guys and anybody who listens that
you go,
I don't remember what it's called, but you go to a place every August, is it, or something, where, or you used to at least, where you, where you go off the grid and you, what is that?
It was like a spirituality place or something.
No, actually, no, that's totally wrong.
Great work, Sean.
We're done.
Thank you.
We're going to listen.
What a good work.
I go to a place where my emotional sobriety is challenged.
And that's, I go home to Hyannisport where all my cousins are.
I need a practice.
Oh, are we not doing that?
You don't want to talk about that place, that other thing you do?
What other thing I do?
That thing that you used to go to where you had to put your cell phone down and you didn't have to.
It was like a retreat.
Oh, I went to, yeah, I've been to a lot of retreats.
That's Hoffman.
That's the Hoffman.
I want to go there so badly.
I keep hearing about that place.
What is that?
So I went there.
You're not equipped, JB.
You can't do that.
No, I can't do that.
It was actually, and I'm going back for a tune-up again.
I'm a big believer in exploring yourself.
That's kind of why I wrote this new book on poetry and reflection.
And I'm a little bit more.
It's called I Am Maria.
Yes, I am.
And there's a long story behind that.
But
anyway, I'm a big believer in trying to understand
why you may feel dissatisfied, why you may feel stuck, why you may feel angry, why do you erupt here, there, and everywhere?
What is going on inside of you?
You erupt.
Sorry.
Sorry.
That just came out of nowhere.
These are the bits.
The listeners.
You know what it is?
I feel like I'm at home.
I feel like I'm so at home.
I've asked Sean to bring you guys to dinner.
Oh, we'd love to.
Sean,
I'd never relay that.
No, this is, I'm not kidding.
You never said that.
Sean, you said, remember, I said when we did those questions that lovers do, marriage couples do.
And so I asked Sean to do it with me.
And one of the things was, you know, you had to go through what do we like about each other?
How do we want the other person to grow?
He had done it with Scotty.
So I said, can you do it with me?
Right.
And then one of the things I said to you at the end is, I want you to invite me
to meet your friends.
Okay.
I'm going to make it happen.
He's never mentioned it.
I know.
Here's the thing, and I might be divulging,
this might be too much information, but I've recently
been made aware of the term of being, or the idea of being intimate with yourself.
Yes.
And that's not what you think, JB.
So
I thought we were going to hear some technique.
no no no no it's it's
it's
this idea about learning how to be intimate with yourself is something is a process that I've been sort of going through recently and it's been really
revealing and really tough to do it's a new a new practice for me how do you do that
Well, it's about,
well,
it's a form of therapy that I'm sort of going through.
It's part of the therapy that I've been experiencing of late.
And it's about
going back and being honest with myself about things and about where I've been and about allowing myself to feel certain things that I was potentially avoiding for a long time, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Yeah.
And it's good for men to do that.
Well, you can't.
And the idea, yes, it's good for men.
And the idea is that you can't have real intimacy with somebody else.
else if you cannot be intimate with yourself.
Thank you.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Which I was like, oh, all right.
You know,
I love that.
I love that you're doing that because I think it's, I do that through writing, and sometimes I've done it through therapy.
But I find that when I write, and if I write early in the morning, and I write when it's quiet, and that's what this book kind of is, a lot of poetry.
It's kind of almost a stream of consciousness, just allowing stuff to come up.
And you find that, you know, there's a whole other person living in there or a whole other voice that wants to speak, which is really fascinating.
Yeah.
It's been interesting.
And also, I was thinking about when you said, JB, I think you,
one of you did,
who, who are the people that you go to, Maria, to talk to about things and what are the conversations?
And there is somebody, we have a mutual friend who I go to, who's other than these guys, who I talk to about a lot of these things, who's our...
my buddy Clay, whom I think you know.
I go to Clay too.
And Clay's my guy.
And he's one of of my best friends.
And
he's my brother.
I love him.
And he's been incredible to me on so many levels.
Oh, I love that.
That's so beautiful.
My brother now goes to Clay too.
Yes.
Clay is
really great at reminding you.
who you are.
Yeah.
telling you what he sees
and reassuring you that that voice that's telling you you're you know, all those other things is wrong and that what he sees is what other people see.
And I think we all need a friend like that, actually.
Sean, you're like that with me, right?
You tell me what you see, you remind me when I go down a hole.
They often, in lyricals, sometimes people call that an anamkara.
There's a book about that that John O'Donoghue, the poet, wrote called the Anamkara, which means soul friend.
It's Gaelic, right?
It means soul friend.
And it's somebody who is a very intimate friend.
It can be a sexual person, but it can often very not be at all.
And it's just someone who sees you, who reflects back to you who you are, who tells you,
who's honest with you, who tells you what they see,
and reassures you that you're on the path and also is honest enough to tell you when you've fallen off of it and can remind you that you can get back up.
That's really, yeah, Sean, you hear that.
It's an intimate friend, right?
It can be sexual.
and it's that's a cult it's a gaelick yeah um so it's like a salt lick but yeah but it's a but actually i think i met you know what maria i met your brother at clay's birthday you met me at clay's birthday i we had met before though yeah but we we talked there we talked there but i didn't want to say that we met there because you don't remember the first time we met but i do we had met
years ago sean sean let you and i take a quick five i didn't want to put you on the spot tell me where did we meet the first time years ago at sean's house and sean that's right.
This is over 20 years ago.
Sean had a card game, a big poker night at his house.
Do you remember that?
It was like.
It was so long ago.
It was over.
Is that another thing that I wasn't at?
No, you were there, actually.
You were
switched numbers.
You had changed phone numbers.
No, no.
No, this was like 25 years ago.
Yeah, it was a long time.
We were still friends then.
That's cool.
We'll double back on this after we sign off.
Anyway, yeah, you're right.
But it is great having those kind of people in your life.
And
I like these guys, we have the same thing.
It's not holding your feet to the fire, but it's the ability to go, hey, this is what's going on.
And being unafraid to say, hey, have you thought about this in a way that's kind and
constructive?
Yes.
And
that exercise that Maria was talking about where we wrote each other, like, you know, good things, things to work on, whatever, blah, blah, blah.
I said to her, you remember mine?
My, the big one to you?
Uh-oh.
Was, um, hey, do you think you could introduce me to people when I come over to your house?
Because, because she, for your whole life, has been so huge, filled with so many people constantly 24-7 in your house, out of your house.
It's like a revolving door of all these people that come in and out.
And I'll see these people and you'd be like, yeah, that's Martha.
So anyway, come over.
And I'm like, who is like, who is that?
And I'll be sitting next, like having a hamburger next to somebody.
And I'm like, I have no idea who this person is.
And you just assume that I know them.
And are you bringing your own hamburgers?
Are you bringing the burgers with you?
He does bring his own dessert, though.
He does bring his, he does bring his own dessert.
He does.
Is it any wonder why his husband is a diabetic?
Sean's got a truck full of treats.
No, I bring my own desserts because as wonderful as you are to feed me, a lot of the times the desserts are gluten-free, sugar-free, blah, blah, blah.
That's because of Scotty.
Why are you doing a funny voice?
I'm doing that.
I'm doing that because of Scotty.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Out of respect, Sean.
Out of respect.
Unlike you, she's not trying to kill your husband.
Right.
I love his husband.
He's so calm.
He's the best.
We love Scotty.
We love Scotty.
Scotty is the best.
Maria, you touched on
going back home and visiting your family and needing to sort of arm yourself, if you will, with the spiritual program.
The idea of growing up with that kind of and continued sort of being part of a family that is under that kind of scrutiny,
what does that do?
Because
we all have to tell Tracy, like the, so your dad is Sergeant, the great Sergeant Shriver.
Your mom is Eunice Kennedy, who is the sister of JFK, and you're the niece, and blah, blah, blah.
Okay.
Okay.
I am Maria.
I am Maria.
Right.
And that's what I wanted to talk about.
I am Maria.
And that's what I wanted to talk about.
You can find it on paperback.
I am Maria.
I am a Maria.
I am not.
No, but the least.
And you're like, I'm Maria.
But that's what I wanted to talk about
about the Hoffman place.
Is a guy came up.
Remember this conversation?
It was like,
do I talk to you or do I talk to, I mean, or Will?
Will ask me a question or do I go to you?
Yeah.
Thank you, Maria.
I just don't know.
Where do I go?
I know.
Welcome to Smart League.
Because I'm your guest, or should I go to you?
But it has to do with Will, what Will's about to say.
Okay.
So, so my, the reason I brought up the Hoffman thing is because you had shared with me that part of the pro part of your journey at the at Hoffman was a guy came up to you and immediately started asking you about your lineage, right?
And you're like, hang on.
And it upset you because you're like, wait, my name is Maria Shriver.
I am my own person.
I have my own accomplishments.
I have a family.
I'm all these things that you are without the Kennedys, right?
And then you had an epiphany that you shared with me.
You're like, wait, but part of me is that.
And to shun it.
is wrong, right?
And so, and then I know that has that, that's kind of a prep to what Will's probably going to about to ask you.
What was it like?
Well, I had already asked her.
What is it like?
Do you feel?
But yes, sure, that's adjacent to what I'm saying, which is, yeah, that's I'm right here.
Yeah.
Adjacent.
I'm Jason Abatement.
Addition abatement.
Yeah, my new multi-mobile company.
Yeah, yeah.
I think it's going to do well.
I think it will.
Yeah.
That's funny.
Talk about that.
It's a lot.
It's a lot, actually.
But I find after doing a lot of work, I find myself now in a really good place about it.
Well, because, and the reason I bring you what's interesting is, you know, you hear people who are, who have made names of themselves as a,
whatever it is,
name the discipline.
And then people say, and if they say, well, it's tough being in this position, the critics say, well, fuck it, that's the price you pay for being famous.
And they say that, right?
So you can't complain.
In a lot of ways, even though you've had so many great accomplishments that you've forged on your own, you were born into it.
You didn't have a choice, is the truth, right?
Right.
Yeah.
But I think we all have a choice about how we want to conduct ourselves in that experience, right?
And I think what I tried to do was outwork my lineage, which was a mistake.
And I thought like, oh, if I...
you know, get accomplished, if I do all these things, then you won't be introducing me by whose daughter I am, whose cousin I am, whose niece I am, and won't be talking to me only about those things.
And that
was a driver,
certainly, but I think it was unrealistic because I came to understand like, I'm never going to outwork that.
I'm never going to outperform that.
I'm never going to out that, right?
So to speak.
So getting to a place where like, okay, wait a minute, let me figure out how to accept that, how to be happy when people come up and that's all they want to talk to me about.
And then just try to understand that I have my own practice.
I have friends who understand who I am, who love me for me, and that I can't change everybody's opinion.
Like I go through the
airport or I sit down and that's what all people want to talk to me about.
I just go, okay.
Now I understand that.
I just let that be and I don't get mad at them.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's so funny.
Like growing up in my generation and seeing you on TV all the time, I would never, ever think of talking to you about that.
Because I grew up seeing you as Maria Schreiber only.
Yeah, exactly.
Even more famous than any of sort of any Kennedy lineage could
put on someone.
You were extremely successful in carving your own name, your own position, your own profile.
Yeah.
But people want to talk to me about the other.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, exactly.
And so I think it's just getting to a place of understanding that, that that's part of you and not fighting it.
And then just trying to figure out, okay, what do I want to do?
Which brings me back, you know, what are the issues that I care about?
And not feeling like I'm not performing if I'm not running for president.
That's kind of how I grew up.
Like, if you're not going to, you know, run for that, like get out of the way, you know,
go to the back of the room.
So I had to go, like, okay, you know, and my mother was also a total force of nature,
quite a tough woman.
And she also was not interested in hearing any complaint about anything.
Right.
So I wanted to ask you about that because
the few lunches I had with her and you, I'd be sitting, she scared the shit out of me.
I'd be sitting there having lunch and we had a couple good laughs.
Like you know, she's funny.
Yeah, she's funny.
But you're right.
She's very guarded or whatever, however you want to describe it.
And you are one of the best mothers I've ever witnessed.
Like the rules that you put in place and the boundaries and the love and all of those things as a mother was incredible to witness.
But did you recognize that in your mom?
That she is this kind of, like you said, force of nature in an emotional way.
Did you find that, okay, well, like all of us, we got to take the good stuff from our parents and the stuff that maybe we don't want to take.
And how did you find that balance?
And were you aware of how she was?
Well, I was aware she terrified everybody and she terrified me too.
So I mean, I,
so I was aware of that.
I was aware that she was formidable.
And,
you know, I stood up, as I said, every time she walked in the room till the day she died, right?
Both my parents, I was raised that way, my grandparents, my parents, you know, like.
They're in charge, they're running the roost.
And they had really high expectations.
And I was, and my brothers, so they were very clear about their expectations.
So,
and if you were not doing them,
well, you just did not do them.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
How did that, and then how did that transfer into your style of parenting?
I, I, I, like, my dad was super duper strict, and I found that I kind of went the other direction to a certain extent.
Like, I wanted my kids to feel a little bit more of a friendship with me than I had with my dad.
But then I also recognized that I had this big authority figure, this disciplinarian in front of me was very good for me and gave me a lot of structure.
And so I thought, oh, maybe I'm doing a disservice to my kids.
So I kind of tried to tack back.
Like, how did you find a balance there?
Well, I tried to kind of take a lot of the things both my parents instilled in me, but I tried to be softer in that I tried to say, I love you.
I tried to touch them and hold them and nurture them
and, you know, really, I guess, really touch, you know, hold them.
And, you know, I think my, but I also have, and through Hoffman and other work, understood that my mother, you know, asking my mother to give me something that wasn't given to her was unfair.
Right.
So, uh, and so she didn't grow up being held like that.
She didn't grow up being, um, she was loved in a different way.
And I felt loved, but not like how I would look at other people's mothers.
Right, right.
It wasn't the same thing, you know.
We'll be right back.
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Was that a big moment for you when you started to?
I remember certain things about not forgiving your parents, but when you have an understanding and appreciation of what it is, what their limitations are because of how they were brought up, et cetera.
First of all, it happens later in life than you wished.
You wished it would happen when you were 18.
Right.
Right, right, right.
What was that like for you?
Was that a sort of a watershed moment in your life?
Yeah, and it continued to be in multiple ways.
And even after my mother passed away, it was, I continued to learn about her and continued to change my
relationship with her.
in death as well and
trying to understand how she was raised, what she was up against.
You know, my mother,
she dressed in men's pants.
She carried a briefcase.
She smoked cigars.
She only hung out with men.
She'd have, you know, like our table was filled with men.
And when like they would bring their wives and maybe wives would go into one corner, she'd always go with the men.
She had her cigar out.
She'd have her, you know, pencils in her hair.
And she was like on it.
She was like not messing around at all.
So I was like, okay, is that a woman?
I was like, is that the way you're supposed to do it?
You know, I don't know.
She was very competitive, hyper-competitive, tried to beat all her children, beat everybody who came around.
And so she was.
And challenging, not physically.
Very challenging.
Yeah, yeah.
Beat competitively beaten.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you, Sean.
You're welcome.
That's what I'm here.
I admired that.
That's how she created the Special Olympics.
That's how she created
change in the field of people with intellectual disability.
She willed it into action and she stomped the halls of Capitol Hill.
And she forced her brother when he was president and her other brothers when they were in the Senate to change laws.
And she was relentless, and that created tremendous change.
So I kind of watched that and I tried to figure out: okay, how do I do that out of the house, but not in the house?
Now, I'm sure you've answered this a thousand times.
I apologize for not knowing the answer.
But
what was the main thing that kept you from ever really formally going into a political position and the feeling that you could affect change a little bit more from the private sector?
Well, my experience with politics was
assassination.
And
I also, my dad ran for vice president in 72 and lost.
And it was a big, that was a huge watershed moment for me.
And
I also watched people come over to our home who were involved in politics, who were one way in our house in a different way
on television and outside.
And I didn't like that.
So for me, it was just, it felt, you know, I felt, and I watched my mother, as I said, do things outside of politics and create change.
And my dad as well, started the Peace Corps, the War on Poverty, Head Start,
you know, foster grandparents, Job Corps, the list goes on.
And I watched how they changed the world outside of running for office.
And so I thought, you know, that was a good model to emulate.
What incredible examples of like and using their time and their position.
And Jay, how many days a week did you play golf last week?
Oh, boy.
Well, I can tell you, first of all, let me say I was very peaceful while I did it.
Okay, okay.
I could figure out the core of what I was doing.
So I don't think that's what the peace core means.
Yeah, they put a P on the end of it for some weird reason.
I was actually talking to my 18-year-old yesterday about, oh no, it was the 12-year-old.
I can't remember, one of the daughters, yesterday,
about
service right after school and how some countries
make that a requirement.
And where do you sit on that?
I feel like it'd be such a great thing.
Someone was talking about it on TV the other day about how it would foster this great healthy sense of
shared.
Should we be military service?
No,
it could take any form.
Yeah, in some countries it's military in other countries it's it's just serving the greater good some sort of civil uh situation peace corps came to mind when i was talking to her that's what made me think of of it when you were talking about it um where's your your where do you stand on that what john you did up with people for two years
i did down with people
i think it's a great idea i think it's a great idea uh we actually in this uh weekly i heard you asking about um
uh you know uh newsletters and i have a newsletter that goes out every Sunday called the Sunday Paper.
And we actually published yesterday this op-ed from these two friends of mine, John Bridglin and Alan Casey, about called Big Citizenship.
And the idea about proposing to this administration about what we actually need is a big service corps where everybody could be of service to their country
for one or two years.
And you could be in AmeriCorps, you could be in Teach for America, you could be in the Peace Corps.
And actually, when Arnold was governor and I was first lady, we tried to do that.
We started a California Corps of people volunteering for California.
And I always felt that that would be something that people would bring people from all walks of life together.
And I worked for a while on a National Service Corps proposal, which never got off the ground.
But, you know, it's a financial, I think it's more of a financial issue for the federal government.
I think there's tremendous desire there that people really want and would, whether it's a gap year,
and that there's so many ways to be.
You could have an environmental core.
They have that in California, environmental core.
You can, I tried to do that because we need so many more caregivers for people with Alzheimer's and dementia and Parkinson's and all this sort of stuff.
If people went, you know, could they get free tuition if they went to a state school if they gave two years to be a caregiver?
That's great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
JB, didn't you, didn't JB when they canceled Hogan family, didn't you have a gap year?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
A lot of it was more of a decade.
You might remember it.
But yeah, that would be, you know, not to be too cynical, but it does seem like
the miracle of it all or
the big thing that would get it moving would be what is the carrot on the other side for the person who's volunteering, quote unquote.
Like, is it free tuition?
Is it a more favored consideration on your application, going into a state school?
What, like, what, what, what, what, what's in it for them aside from the good feeling you would have?
Well, that would be big to get, you know, tuition
lessened.
You know, that's, I think that's a huge carrot for
that.
Why not just wave it?
Or just a higher consideration, a different list that you're on when in consideration for a state school?
Because I know, you know, my 18-year-old, that's that's so much anxiety for kids, like getting into a school.
Have I done enough extracurricular, blah, blah, blah.
Like if that was something that like, oh, you go right to the top of the list in consideration for these UC schools,
that would be big.
And it wouldn't cost, I don't think it would cost the state anything.
We tried to do something like that.
I was chairing a task force for the governor here on Alzheimer's, and that was one of our recommendations about that.
So, it hadn't happened yet.
But I think there are ideas like that around, which I think are great.
And I think that young people would really like that
service corps.
There are some programs around like that, but I think the question always is, you know, they don't pay well, obviously right uh but you're at an age where you you've you don't you don't need the money just yet like you might still potentially be under uh your parents wing you know just right after high school and before college and maybe the parents would be okay giving one more year of support while you're off uh helping the country or the state yeah well yeah a lot of people do need the money.
So it's like looking at so that it's a diverse workforce, that it's,
you know, it depends, different states have different needs, right?
Different states have different needs.
And so I think it's a great idea.
There are a lot of people who've been pushing it for a long time.
It has not happened.
I thought it was an intriguing op-ed that these guys wrote originally for the Washington Post last week, and then we repurposed it in the Sunday paper on Sunday.
I want that newsletter.
Big citizenship.
I like that idea.
Big citizenship.
You know, it's funny.
I mean, we sit here, we talk about it, and it's, you know, we're in a unique position.
We get to sort of talk about these ideas, et cetera.
And they make a lot of sense.
And how funny or how unfortunate it is.
As you say, there's met resistance.
It never happened.
It want to go through.
And it really does make you wonder why.
Yeah.
That's what I was wondering.
Like, why don't you do it?
Why don't people want to do it?
Why don't people, why isn't there a sense that we should, you know,
do something for the greater good?
And people go, well, we don't want to.
Yeah.
Or a couple of people.
Well, there's a lot going on, actually.
You know, like I look at Special Olympics all the time, which is one of the largest volunteer programs in the world, right?
And people are, you know, from both parties, from all different age groups, go out and volunteer.
And I think because they're asked, they're asked, like this program won't.
succeed in your neighborhood or your community or your state unless you volunteer.
And I think sometimes people, it depends who's doing the asking, right?
You even see that in our own homes, you know, sometimes like who's asking you to clear the table?
Who's asking you to do the chore?
And then what figure is asking you to be of service?
And I think we, young people aren't volunteering for military corps because sometimes they look and see like, well, how does that person get taken care of when they come back?
Who's doing the asking?
What is the life like on the other end versus, you know, many years ago, right?
So I think it's,
I believe that, you know, if the right person raises it up, puts it front and center, center,
makes it inspiring, calls young people up and tells them we need you in order to rebuild the country, in order to
put our values front and center in order.
that you can have a country that's going to be the country you want to live in with the values you want to live in.
So I'm calling everybody up.
I mean, I think it's nobody's called people up like that, right?
It's great.
One of the pieces of advice I've actually shared with these guys before
outside of this podcast is anytime there'd be an issue come up, issue that came up politically or socially or whatever it was, and I would complain about it to you and you would say, I know, isn't that awful?
So what are you doing about it?
Yeah, exactly.
And I'm like, oh, and it completely disarms people because you're right.
It's like to everything you're saying.
You have to be the leader of that.
Instead of sitting and waiting for somebody to ask you.
Well, I think kids would listen to you if you just asked them to serve.
You think they'd listen to me?
I think they would.
Yeah.
So, wait, so Maria.
I love that.
I mean, I think, Jason, you should take that on.
I think, like, my kids, if you ask my kids, they pay attention.
Yeah.
Did you hear it?
God, he asked us to be of service.
I think Will has a better voice.
Will, Will makes a lot of money with his voice, a lot of timber to it.
I'll set him up with a big phone bang.
I think, Jason,
we'll send a car to get you out of the house.
Will, I think you're uniquely suited for this.
You got a whisper booth there.
Everything's all ready.
Whisper booth.
So, Maria, before we leave you,
you're leaving?
Yeah.
You're already in overtime.
We're going to go tell the leaf blower he can go back, right?
Yes.
But wait, I have one last thing.
One lesson.
You've super successful.
You've seen it all.
You've met everyone.
You've had more experiences than anyone I know.
What is it there?
What is that you haven't done or want to accomplish that speaks to your values?
How about that?
Oh, that's a really deep question.
Wow.
Yeah.
Should have gave her that at the beginning and give her a chance to come up with an answer.
I don't know if I'm going to tell you the answer.
I know the answer, but I'm not going to be able to do that.
Why, really?
Yeah.
Come on, Maria.
No, no, not going to say it.
You're not going to tell me.
I'm going to keep on going.
I'm going to keep on going right down here.
I totally am always thinking of like.
You're pointed in the right direction.
I'm pointing in the right direction.
I'm moving forward.
You are.
I think.
And I always tell you, I think like, who do I want at my 70th birthday?
Who do I want at my funeral?
And I work on those relationships now.
I love that those are two different lists.
I love it.
I love it.
And I'm now going to include you two, the other boys now at my funeral and my birthday party.
I just grew my list.
That's right.
I'd love to say a few words if that'd be okay.
I hope so.
I hope you'll bring a poem because I've got this book of poetry.
That's mainly when people use poems, right?
They stand up at a funeral, they stand up at a wedding.
I asked to get the copy of the book and it's not ready yet, but I can't wait to read I Am Maria and the poem.
And then a poem.
Do you have a poem in your life that was like important?
Nothing.
No, Roses are red, valids are blue.
Nothing.
How about you other guys?
No, no poems, no poetry.
Sure.
I mean, I could cite like, you know, Rillka or somebody like that.
You know what I mean?
I mean, what are we going to do?
Poetry is, you know, is useful in times of celebration, in times of heartbreak.
So
you don't want to answer the one thing that you haven't done that you want to accomplish.
Well, but you made it specifically to her values.
Now,
you could say something a little bit more trivial, like is there a place you'd like to go or a person you've yet to meet?
Yeah, how about that?
Oh, yeah, I have a person I'd yet to meet.
I really want to meet them, sit and have a meal with the Pope.
I really want to meet the Pope.
Let me just say that.
move in with the Pope.
I want to hang with the Pope.
He's pretty jammed.
I'm looking right now.
Yeah, he's, I mean, how's your April?
How's your April looking?
I'll change.
I'll even give up my Sunday dinner for the Pope.
Let me talk.
I'll move everything around for the Pope.
Wow.
For Francis.
Yeah, he's my man.
I feel like you can make that happen.
All right.
I'm going to work on that for you.
Will you work on that for me?
Yeah, just put me in your luggage, take me there to Rome.
I think if I could just get in and sit down at the table, you're not allowed.
My brother went there and you're not, if he, you see him eating there, you're not allowed to go over and talk.
And so my brother said, well, you, you would break that rule, Maria.
I said, oh, for sure.
Let me just say, let me just say this, Maria.
Maria, let me just say this.
If anyone can, the Vatican.
Okay, so don't worry.
You're going to go.
There we go.
Oh, that's funny.
There we go.
Maria, we love you.
I can't wait for your book.
Yes, so much.
One of the most important people in my life is you, as well as these two fellas.
So I'm all in one show.
It makes me very, very happy to meet you.
Really nice to meet you.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you, Maria.
I want to come over and clear the table.
Invite me.
I'll be a good guest.
Yeah.
You don't have to ask him.
He'll just do it.
He'll do it.
I love it.
Good example for my boys.
All right, honey.
Love you.
Okay, but now I go.
Thank you.
You do, you slam it.
Yeah.
Okay.
You slam it shut.
Yeah.
Right?
She She
feels emotional.
Sean Sobrian.
I've met her a couple of times with you, but it's so briefly, and I never really got a sense of like how.
I mean, a little bit.
She's obviously super smart and stuff, but like she's amazing.
But and 10, I mean, there's 10,000 other things that she's started or programs.
We didn't even get into any of it, but she's endless.
Every single day she wakes up thinking about how she can serve.
I know we talked about that before with other people, but how can she serve?
You don't sell yourself short.
You told me the other day you started season four of the Mentalist.
You and Scotty.
How do you have that at the ready?
Anyway, Maria, Maria, Maria.
I love Sean.
I love that.
I know you've talked so fondly about her and her family and how important they are to you and your life.
Yeah.
Right.
It just like
because he
does not like to cook.
That is why.
No, but like real.
Jen's on Sunday.
Maria's on Thursday.
Real rocks.
Real rocks for you.
Like really, real
thanks, Eddie.
Like a real steadiness.
Yeah, yeah.
Added to your life.
Yeah, she is.
Yeah.
As are you guys, by the way.
Yeah, she's done so much for so many groups hearing her talk.
It's just incredible.
Anyway, thanks for indulging, and I'm glad you enjoyed her as much as I did.
She seems like she would be absolutely my favorite person in the world.
Well, why don't we do it?
We'll do a din.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Make it happen.
We'll do a din?
Yeah, that's short for dinner.
Well, it's it, you know?
This guy's a hip guy.
He's a hip.
He's got Riz.
Riz.
Sean, anything
in the buy folder?
Oh, there we go.
He's got the buy focals.
Pull up the buy folder.
And we'll put on your bifocals.
And anything there?
You know, we watched.
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
Oh, here we go.
This is a made-up story.
Oh, you know, we watched a show last night.
Oh,
I used this one before.
You know, I like to, if I'm driving around and I'm hungry and it's a Sunday and she's, Maria's having family dinner, I like to stop by for a quick
bite.
Quick bite and bye, everybody.
We are scraping the bottom.
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