"Kristen Stewart"
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Transcript
Speaker 1 Don't miss Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, premiering on Hulu, November 21st. Filmed live at the sold-out United Center Arena in Chicago.
Speaker 1 Sebastian's newest special features his larger-than-life presence, one-of-a-kind physical comedy, and hilarious everyday observations that will keep you laughing non-stop.
Speaker 1 Sebastian goes all in on family chaos, aging, non-existent manners, and life's most relatable and frustratingly funny moments.
Speaker 1 Watch Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, on November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
Speaker 2 Nobody wants to spend the holiday season clicking from one site to the next to get their hands on the best brands.
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Speaker 2 Hey, um, I've ever told you guys my life story before.
Speaker 2 Okay, so
Speaker 2
I don't know right now, May, 1970. Will, it's weird.
Over here, I'm getting the red light for you. Oh, that's enough.
They just want to start? Yeah, welcome to Smartless. Smart.
Speaker 2 Smart.
Speaker 2 less.
Speaker 2 Smart,
Speaker 2 less.
Speaker 2 Hi, JB. Hi, you guys.
Speaker 2
So this is your new relax zone. JB's in Brooklyn.
This is how I picture it. Now, JB's now in New York for a little for a stretch.
Speaker 2 And I pictured you going there Saturday and I asked you because I was like, I know what you're just hear me out.
Speaker 2 You get to your spot, you drop your stuff, and then you find the spot on the couch where you're perpendic to the TV.
Speaker 2 That is so true.
Speaker 3
Yeah, but I already scouted that, though, when I had to pick the apartment. I had to make sure there was an L-type configuration in front of the TV.
Rest of the apartment, I don't care about it.
Speaker 3 I just need to know I've got a nesting spot.
Speaker 2 Are you happy with the apartment? I am.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 3 I'm very happy. But, you know,
Speaker 3 I'm a soft guy. I'm prone to homesickness.
Speaker 3 You know, it's it's lonely you know i mean i live with uh three incredible women and now i'm all alone and but what did i have to sort of buoy my spirits a pair of brand new slippers waiting for me in the apartment from sweet sweet shawnee yeah is that true shawnee yes i got willie something for his ankles and i got jason you did i mean it's yeah what did you did you get him some running weights for his ankle no you got me he got me that you got me that thing to stretch my calves because I've been having my hamstring issue.
Speaker 2 And I sent you slippers because...
Speaker 3 But, Shawnee, as I said in the text, you're not supposed to be well-raised.
Speaker 2 I know, I'm not. Neither of us are.
Speaker 3 We were kind of raised by wolves.
Speaker 2 But I think that's probably why, right? Yeah. But isn't it true, though? Like, because I was thinking about you being alone there, and I was like, isn't it nice to have...
Speaker 2 just something soft like that or whatever it is like slip i texted you like slippers to me make a home yeah once you have slippers then you feel like you're like or an L-shaped couch in front of an L shaped flat screen.
Speaker 2 Sean, how come every time you say it's nice to have something soft, you seem to grab on your belly and you just give it a nice,
Speaker 2 I couldn't mail my belly. The cookie couch.
Speaker 2 Cookie pouch. Oh, I miss it.
Speaker 2 How are you guys doing?
Speaker 3 What's going on back home?
Speaker 2 So listen, my thing is
Speaker 2 I think I told, well, Will FaceTimed me and I answered it from the ER, right?
Speaker 2
Not just that. We had been talking, I had seen him for lunch.
Yeah. Okay.
We had this lunch meeting with the, with, and JB, you would have been there, but you were traveling.
Speaker 2
So we had this lunch meeting. I don't know.
90 minutes later, I FaceTimed Sean to ask him something, and he's in the back of an ambulance. No, dude, he's on a gurney.
Speaker 2 He's on a gurney in the hall at Cedars. Angel, what? And I go, what the fuck is going on?
Speaker 2
Yeah, no, I've got the AFib thing again. And you guys know.
And they just, I talked about it on the tour.
Speaker 2 And that's where Jimmy Kimmel gave me the nickname of Paddles. So I texted Jimmy and I said, Paddles is at it again.
Speaker 2
And I took a picture and I texted it to Jimmy of me in my gown all hooked up to the wires. And yeah, I just said AFib.
And so they put me out, they zap my heart. So
Speaker 3 for the medical Tracy's out there, AFib is what? It's just an irregular heartbeat?
Speaker 2
Yeah, it's atrial fibrillation. So some people are in it all the time and they don't know it.
I know when I get it, which is a good thing thing because then I can go to the ER.
Speaker 2
Here's the worst part or the best part. Yeah, your heart just raised.
Here's the best part. So we're at this lunch.
Again, business lunch.
Speaker 2 The guy says, you guys want anything? You guys want anything at the end? He's going to bring the check.
Speaker 2
You want a coffee or something? He said, I'll take a coffee. Our buddy Rick is there, Rick Kay.
Rick says, I'll take a coffee too. And Sean says, as the guy's walking away, I'll take a milkshake.
Speaker 2
Oh, God. He goes, it's noon, right? Give him dessert for lunch.
It's noon.
Speaker 2 And he goes, he goes, Rick, he goes, just, just, by the way just vanilla just vanilla and i said and i said and if you've got any paddles bring him to the table oh no
Speaker 2 oh my god i forgot you said that so 90 minutes later he's in the hallway at fucking cedars and if i get on a gurney and i'm like oh those gowns are beautiful if he goes down from this today and i've suggested the paddles i'm really gonna feel badly for a couple weeks so so so so you get into the Okay, so you feel the heart is racing.
Speaker 3
I should get to an emergency room because things might unravel from here. Like it doesn't fix itself.
You need to go in there and you literally need to get like a jump start to get it.
Speaker 2
It's like restarting a car or something. So they just said, but they put you out, which is great.
And of course, I always try to think of something. Oh, by the way, I read the thing.
Speaker 2
Wait, this can, we'll cut out this air that it takes me to find this. This is worth it.
This is great.
Speaker 2 We can have some music. We could play some music.
Speaker 3 Sorry, mystery guest. Just
Speaker 2 got props.
Speaker 2 No, wait.
Speaker 2 So
Speaker 2 I said, she starts going.
Speaker 2 She starts going because this is what they do every time because I've been
Speaker 2 the doctor in the ER.
Speaker 2 This is what they do because I've been cardioversion, right? It's called cardioversion. And I've had this done to me like 15 times.
Speaker 2
So she starts gathering the anesthesiologist, two nurses, her, somebody else. I don't know.
There's like five or six people there.
Speaker 2 And they go, they stand around the bed right before the procedure and they have to announce all this stuff. And as she's getting into it, I I say, do you mind if I take over? And she goes, sure.
Speaker 2
I go, okay, everyone, the patient's name is Sean Hayes. Date of birth is 62670.
We're treating him today for atrial fibrillation.
Speaker 2 We're going to use 10 milligrams of atomidate and we're going to attempt cardioversion. Everybody okay? And
Speaker 2
she's like, what? Nobody's ever done that. She goes, yeah, now we're ready.
So that's how often I've had this done. This is my God.
You will do anything for applause.
Speaker 2 What about maybe buying your own own set of paddles oh that's a great idea no i thought about it just doing like small why don't you turn the garage into an er yeah
Speaker 3 or just a section of it near the near the washer dryer or maybe scotty can just kind of bang you back into rhythm yeah they can teach
Speaker 3 robert our friend robert has paddles at his house like a whole thing what truly wow yeah all right well so I'd love to circle back to, and I'm sorry, guests, we're going to get right to you, but you know, I'd love to get you to stop drinking ice cream for lunch.
Speaker 2 i know
Speaker 3 you know
Speaker 3 we'll just start to just kind of chip away at the maybe
Speaker 2 dude he may he's got the maker at home now now he's got the ice cream maybe you forget it doesn't have anything to do with that it just has it's because i got a gummy it's a long conversation oh yeah i i don't i don't stumble into a fib
Speaker 2 if it was if it was because of the gummies we'd be talking at jb would be at fucking he'd be at new york presbyterian right now as would as would the entire country
Speaker 2 now that it's all legal and people are you know if you're prone to it like I am then it's like a listen I don't want to mention I don't want to cut in because we don't have a lot of time because it's going to be air so far away from it but I instead of going there I went to the all-star game and I coached Connor McDavid and I was the co-captain with Connor McDavid that's
Speaker 3 Willie's all-star weekend I just it's really quick I had a hockey nirvana it was a fucking it was unbelievable I finally met Wendell Clark for the first time I that was the first time you met him So, Tracy, Wendell Clark is a very, very famous ex-hockey player that Will
Speaker 3 is such a fan of that your avatar on your texting is
Speaker 2 I even know who
Speaker 2 I didn't tell. Even Sean Hohenzollern.
Speaker 3 He gets golf balls with just the 19 on him because that was one of the
Speaker 2
17. JB last year for my birthday very sweetly got Wendell to make me a video and then sent me some signed stuff.
And that blew me away. Cameo.
Cameo? Not even a cameo. No, no, no.
Speaker 2 He went and got in touch with him, and it was very sweet. So anyway, I saw him in an elevator.
Speaker 2 I said, I didn't expect that this was how it was going to happen, but I met him in an elevator, and it was just unbelievable. And I got, I coached, well, coach, fuck, I just stood there like a dink.
Speaker 2 No, they said, what do you want to do, coach? I'm like, who wants to hear from a stupid actor? What are you talking about? I'm just talking about it.
Speaker 3 Yo, were you down in like the locker room having to give like a rough speech?
Speaker 2
So I gave a speech. And so what I did was I just.
So who was on your team? Connor McDavid, Leon Dreisidel. We had David Postrnock from the Bruins.
I had had Brody Jenner from,
Speaker 2 we had fucking Connor Hellebuck, the great goalie, the greatest goalie in the league right now. And for a pregame speech, Peter Laviolette, the Hall of Fame coach, was next to me.
Speaker 2 And I said, let me give the speech. And I put together from a different sport, all great quotes I strung together from Jürgen Klopp, my guy at Liverpool.
Speaker 2
And I made a speech about it. And it was like, it literally was, it was ridiculous.
I think I lost them at the end when I said, when I first came to Dortmund, and they're like, what? Dortmund.
Speaker 2
Anyway, it was fantastic. We had a great time and I don't want to spend too much time, but did Wendell Clark know who you are? Yeah, he did, actually.
I will say that.
Speaker 2
And his wife saw that I was like, and she nudged him because he didn't see me at first. And then it was sick.
And then I got to say to my dad, we walked down, I said, and I see Wayne Gretzky.
Speaker 2
And I said, Wayne, have you ever met my dad? And he's like, no. And my dad was like, it was unbelievable.
That's crazy that Wayne Gretzky was there. That's the whole weekend.
Speaker 2 That's the
Speaker 3 little guy makes good. He comes back home.
Speaker 2 It's funny you say that. So the last thing I'll say is, so Abel, you guys know my 13-year-old, he says to me the other night, and he goes, Look, I'm
Speaker 2
going to check and make sure he's doing his homework. And he goes, Dad, I'm really proud of you.
I said, and I go, What do you mean? I go, What are you talking about? We hadn't been talking about it.
Speaker 2 He goes, Well, probably the little uh kid version of you didn't think that you'd ever be there at the all-star game doing what you did.
Speaker 2 And he goes, I don't know if it's weird for a son to be proud of his dad, but I'm really proud of him.
Speaker 2
I'm crazy. And then he came up and he gave me a hug and he kissed me on the head.
It was so sweet.
Speaker 2 He must have fucking fallen apart. He's such a sweet kid.
Speaker 3 And he, I did fall apart. Big softy.
Speaker 2 That's very like
Speaker 2
old soul of him to say. Yeah, very old soul.
I'm going to cry too, so I'm going to stop.
Speaker 2
I love that. Really love that.
Now, they weren't there with you, were they? They couldn't.
Speaker 2 No, just because of school, it was too many days away from school, and they're in middle school and high school.
Speaker 3 But you filled them in.
Speaker 2
Oh, my God. I FaceTimed Abe from the bench as the game was going on.
And I was just like, I can't hear you. Are they hockey fans, Will? Ish.
Not as much because they grew up in California, but yeah.
Speaker 2 Anyway, we've taken up so much time for our guest, and our guest doesn't deserve to have me ramble on.
Speaker 3 Pretty awesome, though. I bet you the guest is crying right now.
Speaker 3 They need a little time to get it together.
Speaker 2 I don't, I know, but I don't know.
Speaker 2
But this person. That's pretty cool, Will.
Yeah, thanks. Yeah,
Speaker 2
it was once in a lifetime, and it was extraordinary. And speaking of extraordinary, you know, I love my segues.
Yes, beautiful. We're talking extraordinary talent because our guest, she is
Speaker 2 an absolutely extraordinary artist, actor, filmmaker.
Speaker 2 She'd been nominated for an Academy Award.
Speaker 2 She's won 22 Critics Awards.
Speaker 2
That's it. Oh, yeah.
Golden Globes, all of it.
Speaker 2 She's the first American ever to be awarded a César Award, the French Oscars.
Speaker 3 Appreciate the pronunciation on that.
Speaker 2 Yeah, thank you. César, what do you say? César.
Speaker 2
One cigarette. Clouds of Cesare.
Yep.
Speaker 2
I take one cigarette. I wait.
I meet up with my lover.
Speaker 2 coffee.
Speaker 2 And
Speaker 2 she's just been in some of the biggest films of all time. She's been in one of the hugest franchises ever at a very young age and took her through her 20s, I would imagine.
Speaker 2
I can't believe that she's only, I think, 33. It's hard to imagine because she's done so much extraordinary work.
And she's about to start.
Speaker 2 She's going to be in her new film,
Speaker 2
which is being released around the time that we're doing good research. Good future.
I know, I know.
Speaker 3 I'm sure the studio's thrilled right now.
Speaker 2 I know, I know.
Speaker 3 She's got a great laugh.
Speaker 3 We know that much.
Speaker 2 She's dying through the public. I'm literally trying to think about it.
Speaker 3 I bet she's got the date. Why don't you introduce herself?
Speaker 2 No, they gave me the date, and I want to get...
Speaker 2
But the trailers look so amazing. Love lies bleeding.
It looks so amazing from A24. Anyway, guys, it's Kristen Stewart.
Oh, Kristen Stewart.
Speaker 2 Guys, can you believe this? Kristen Stewart.
Speaker 3 What are you doing saying yes to this podcast?
Speaker 2 What a nice
Speaker 2 i know tortured sitting through our torture i know i'm so sorry to put you through that
Speaker 2 hi hey
Speaker 4 how's it going heart is pounding now i don't know if it's like you need the initial conversation about your shitty heart but mine's not like mine's pretty shitty
Speaker 4 because listening is interesting you sit around and listen to the podcast and you forget you have to go on it because it's like fun to listen to you guys and then you're like oh no yeah it's not that great it only gets great when the guest comes up hello
Speaker 2
yeah welcome, Kristen Stewart. So nice to meet you.
Thank you for doing this. Oh, does she have a coffee drink, Kristen Stewart? Oh, yeah.
Oh, what kind of coffee is it? Or is that a shit?
Speaker 2 Is it cute, too? Is it green?
Speaker 4 No. No, there's little flowers on this cup.
Speaker 2 Oh, that's cute.
Speaker 2 You know what I was thinking about this, Kristen? Walk us through your coffee routine in the morning, if you will, real quick.
Speaker 2 What's your go-to?
Speaker 4 I'm so into the start of this.
Speaker 2 Yeah, Greg. Don't worry.
Speaker 3 I might not be hard-hitting at all.
Speaker 3 It's a bunch of garbage.
Speaker 4
No, coffee is like only something that I kind of recently got into. I never used to have any morning beverages.
I just would barrel through and then I realized how fun it was.
Speaker 2 Oh yeah. A little stimulant.
Speaker 2 So what do you, so do you so do you do you wake up and go immediately downstairs or wherever into the kitchen and make coffee or do you have a gap and what and what kind of coffee do you make?
Speaker 2 I am very interested in this process.
Speaker 4 So for a while I would like try and make espresso, but I'm not good at it. All of my poles are watery and weird and
Speaker 3 first thing in the morning too. You don't have skills.
Speaker 4 I'm kind of a bing out of bed. Like, I need to be quiet in order to not kind of like infuriate my family.
Speaker 2 What do you mean, you take it? Oh, really?
Speaker 3 Because when you wake up, you're ready to go.
Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4 I can wake up having like a full conversation to be like, oh, hey, what's up? What have you been doing?
Speaker 2 What have you been thinking about? Oh, wait, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 Oh my God, my wife's exactly like that.
Speaker 2 Chris said, I'm like that too. I'm very much like that.
Speaker 2
Sean, well, Sean, let's not get into your sleep hygiene. It's a fucking disaster.
It's worse than your heart. You got to get out of your bed.
Speaker 3
You got to go downstairs. You got to get in your car.
Drive over to where Scotty lives.
Speaker 3
I've got the coffee maker that you can program the night before. So you wake up and it's already a full pot of coffee.
So it's grump and idiot proof.
Speaker 2 Is it just regular coffee, JB? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2
So I got it. I don't know when, maybe two years ago, and I thought about it this morning.
I was like, fuck, I'm such a creature of habit. I never deviate, no matter where I am.
Speaker 2 I go downstairs, I turn on the kettle, then I fire up the Nespresso machine, and I make two,
Speaker 2 a double Nespresso, a little bit of sugar, a little bit of brown sugar, and then I pour in hot, so I do Americano style.
Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, I was going to say, what's the kettle for? Yeah.
Speaker 2 And then so a little hot water. So it looks like country and no, no, no.
Speaker 2
No, just because I don't know. Nespresso has made it so easy.
I don't know if you've tried Nespresso.
Speaker 2 I mean,
Speaker 2 instead of trying to make espresso and Nespresso.
Speaker 3 Bear with me, Chris, if he's looking for a free machine.
Speaker 2 I'm just indulging.
Speaker 2
I'm not. I don't need...
I got 160 breaths.
Speaker 3 Say Nespresso one more time. You'll get my...
Speaker 2
I've got 160 breaths. No, I'm not.
By the way, Clooney owns part of Nespresso, I think. So, like, I'm not going to give Clooney any more dough.
Speaker 2 But anyway,
Speaker 2
that is my process. Hi, Chris.
Anyway, hi, Kristen.
Speaker 3 Let's do the guest talk, huh?
Speaker 2
I know. I know.
I'm sorry. Kristen, where are you today?
Speaker 2 I'm home.
Speaker 4 I'm in L.A.
Speaker 2 In Los Angeles.
Speaker 3 Did you grow up out in L.A.?
Speaker 4 I did, actually. Yeah, I was born.
Speaker 4 My first house that I ever lived in was like in Topanga, like at the base of Topanga.
Speaker 3 No way. On the valley side or the beach side?
Speaker 4 Valleyside, obviously.
Speaker 2 Oh, really? That's literally, that's right where I grew up.
Speaker 3 I grew up, like, so, you know, Gary's Market there on the corner of Dumets and Topanga.
Speaker 4 Oh, my God, you freak. My house next door.
Speaker 4 Literally, my, my backyard, like my fence overlooked the
Speaker 4 like parking lot and I would always like peek through the
Speaker 4 gate and be like, I'm spying on people.
Speaker 3 That was my, that was my loop with my bike. I lived in a house between dumets and canoga um or sorry between to pang and canoga on dumets like till i was 15 16.
Speaker 2 this just sounds like a tom petty song
Speaker 2 so we're woodland hills kids see the valley's not that bad i i'm i take great pride actually
Speaker 4 i like being a little scumbag who literally like gets high off the smell of a 7-eleven.
Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 There was an old van story.
Speaker 2 I just saw JB's face, Kristen. You just made him so happy because he used to tell stories about being in Woodland Hills with his skateboard on the bus, right?
Speaker 3
Yeah, and I would, and I would live in the 7-Eleven store. I learned how to learn how to play Pac-Man, asteroids, everything in there.
I just live in there all day long.
Speaker 3 Little hostess, you know, case. Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 What was it like growing up, Chris? Like, was it, were you, like Jay? Did you have a skateboard? Did you play video games?
Speaker 2 Did you have siblings?
Speaker 4
All of those things. Yeah.
All three of them, yeah. I would sit outside of my brother's room and watch him play video games until he would like let me.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 2 yeah, yeah. Really?
Speaker 3 Did you go to school out there? Did you go to Serenia or Parkman?
Speaker 2 Oh, what the fuck?
Speaker 4
This is so weird. I feel like no, I feel like you talk about the valley, but it's always a big place, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I went to Serenia Elementary School and I walked there every day.
Speaker 3 That's where I went to grade school until
Speaker 2 you guys, guess what else? You were both child actors.
Speaker 3 Something in the water out there telling you.
Speaker 2 We'll be right back.
Speaker 2
Today's episode is sponsored by Ashley. They don't just sell incredible furniture, they're also making an impact in vulnerable communities.
Here's a tough fact.
Speaker 2 Over 7 million kids are affected by the welfare system, and over 368,000 are currently in foster care. So, together with Ashley and SiriusXM, we made a donation to four others.
Speaker 2 an organization working to end the child welfare crisis in America. You know, partnering with Ashley in our live show, first of all, they just made our set look really good.
Speaker 2 They made us really comfortable. And they kind of made us look legit because otherwise it would have been, you know, milk crates and,
Speaker 2 you know, cardboard boxes. And Ashley made it look like a real, kind of looked like a living room, made it really comfortable, made our guest, John Mayer, really comfortable.
Speaker 2
And then he thought that maybe we're professional. We're not just a bunch of clowns.
To be honest, there was a point where I got so comfortable, I forgot that I was in front of an audience.
Speaker 2 I was sitting back on that nice Ashley couch, and I was just hanging out with my buds in my living room.
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Speaker 1 Don't miss Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, premiering on Hulu, November 21st. Filmed live at the sold-out United Center Arena in Chicago.
Speaker 1 Sebastian's newest special features his larger-than-life presence, one-of-a-kind physical comedy, and hilarious everyday observations that will keep you laughing non-stop.
Speaker 1 Sebastian goes all in on family chaos, aging, non-existent manners, and life's most relatable and frustratingly funny moments.
Speaker 1 Watch Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Bright, on November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
Speaker 3 And now, back to the show.
Speaker 2 I wanted to get to this because I love, I love, because JB obviously started when, I don't know, God, you were, what, seven or something, JB? Ten? Yeah. And so like he,
Speaker 2
so there you go. So he always understands this, that experience.
Talk, let's talk a little bit about that, JB.
Speaker 2 Let's talk about first jobs.
Speaker 3 A first jobs, a little house in the prairie.
Speaker 4 Did you have to, did your parents drive you to like a million auditions over the hill?
Speaker 3
Yeah, and yeah. So I just grew up on the Ventura Freeway, you know, lots of traffic on the way.
But that's, I learned how to drive. I paid attention with freeway driving, had to merge late.
Speaker 3 You know, you got to skip the line.
Speaker 3 And then when they weren't able to drive me into the city, I'd have to get on the bus there on Ventura Boulevard, stop every single red light.
Speaker 3 It would take me an hour and a half to get in the city, but I have my skateboard and my little headshot in my little manila envelope.
Speaker 3 And I'd get off at like Hollywood and Highland and skateboard the rest of the way.
Speaker 2 And,
Speaker 3 you know, but it's for the passion, you know, Kristen, just the passion
Speaker 3 of the craft.
Speaker 4 From jump, you've just been a passionate young man.
Speaker 2 Was that your experience too? Like you're going with your folks to audition?
Speaker 4 Because your parents were both worked in entertainment as well, well right yeah my mom really hooked me up because she's she was a script supervisor and so if she wasn't on a movie she would be the guy taking me around which is a total witch it's just constant and like yeah you want you wanted it though you wanted to be an actor yeah No, she was forcing me into it.
Speaker 4
I was begging. I was begging her.
Yeah, I was like.
Speaker 3 You will contribute to the bottom line in this house.
Speaker 3 So for Tracy, the script supervisor is the person who keeps their eye on the script, makes sure the actors say the lines correctly, helps the director and the camera department with screen direction, and if things match, et cetera.
Speaker 3 Like if you're using your left hand to pick up the glass and all, you know, first three takes and then the next take, you pick it up with your right hand, that's not going to cut.
Speaker 3 So she'll say, so are you, did you grow up being incredible at continuity? Like, would you always match your action?
Speaker 4 No, no, I think it's sort of the opposite where I was always like, that shit doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 Really?
Speaker 4 Yeah, I was like, if that's what you're paying attention to, then you're really not doing your job, right?
Speaker 2
It's that kind of thing. I got bigger problems.
Yeah.
Speaker 4 No, I would drive her crazy. We've never worked together.
Speaker 2 Oh, you guys haven't? Oh, you haven't?
Speaker 3 Huh. What'd dad do?
Speaker 2 Wow.
Speaker 4 Stage manager. So he did, like, he did TV, which we always gave him like a bunch of crap for because we were pretentious movie people.
Speaker 3 So stage manager, so multicam for like studio audience shows?
Speaker 4 Yeah, he was like, yeah, super into the kind of, he always told us that making movies was like watching paint dry because it's boring and takes forever. And he's like running the variety shows.
Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 Did he ever do any sitcoms? Would I have worked with him? Because I did a bunch of those back then.
Speaker 4 I feel like he did mainly like game shows like Fear Factor, a lot of like a board shows and also talk shows. Like I bet you've worked with him a lot, but like not on anything long.
Speaker 4 You know what I mean? Like you've probably been on shows that he's worked on.
Speaker 3 Are they excited for you? I mean,
Speaker 3 your success is not new. Were they excited for you?
Speaker 4 Are they, or was it just like yeah we're all in the business it just kind of just happens uh no i they they were stoked and tripping on it yeah my dad is but both in very different ways and kind of like reflective of both of their vocations like i think as script supervisors a department of one and that's always like a freak my mom's like not very social and like does her own thing and is like a weird they're always my favorite people in the set though i don't know yeah
Speaker 4 well they're either like the best or the worst where you're just like oh she's gonna like she's a stickler she's gonna kill me or you're like That, that, you know, yeah, the keeper of yeah, or you just want to impress them, right?
Speaker 2 Right, right, yeah, yeah, with the way you match your action, but you said they're like, Did you see that was perfect? We only had to do it three times.
Speaker 3 Um, they must be super thrilled with the way you've been able to transition, though, from um, from being successful in childhood into a young adult and then into adult.
Speaker 3 Um, because as you know, it just doesn't happen uh that often, yeah, it is weird.
Speaker 4 I know my mom, like, uh, before she was nice enough to cart me all over town, she was like, do you really want to do this? Like, we have to pay all this money for headshots.
Speaker 4
And, you know, you got to pay me back if this ever works out. And I was like, I will.
And I remember her, like, looking in the rearview mirror being like,
Speaker 2 okay, well.
Speaker 4
I believe in you, but you have to believe in yourself. Like, the most cliche cartoon version of like the start of something.
And I was like, trust in me.
Speaker 2 Like a poster with a kitten saying, hang in there. Yeah.
Speaker 3 A bumper sticker.
Speaker 2 But it does, it works though.
Speaker 4
That's great. But she totally was like, oh no, I'm going to watch watch my kid.
I can imagine now, like, school is so scary. Being just a little guy in the world in every way is so scary.
Speaker 4 I can't imagine having a little kid and like at five years old, you have to be like, goodbye. For so many hours, you're going to go off on your own and we're not going to know what's going on.
Speaker 4
And you're just going to have to figure it out. Like, even that totally freaks me out.
And so the idea of my parents dealing with like me, you know, being like, you're a bad actor and you're ugly.
Speaker 2 Don't pressure.
Speaker 4 You don't get the job.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah.
But also, like, I talk about this a lot too. Like, you and Jason have this, where you're not, I imagine, in awe of
Speaker 2 things that I would be in, like, having not grown up and wanting to be in the business when I was older. It's like, I still am in awe.
Speaker 2
Like, if I meet certain actors or celebrities or whatever, I'm just like, oh, my God, I can't believe. Like, today, I can't believe I'm meeting Kristen Stewart.
It's like crazy. It's like really cool.
Speaker 2 Where do you, were you desensitized to that? Like, for example, Panic Room, which I want to talk about, I love that movie. I've seen it 10 times.
Speaker 2 And of course, I'm so gay.
Speaker 2 When the thing was over, I was like,
Speaker 2 I try to Google, where did they film that? I love that beautiful house.
Speaker 2
Brownstone. Yeah.
What brownstone was that? It was a set, right? I'm sure it was a set.
Speaker 4
It was like a fully functional brownstone built on a soundstage in Manhattan Beach. It was every, it worked.
It was mind-blowing. It was like in a time where, well, I guess people do this.
Speaker 4 You just have to be like one of five men who are allowed to do it. But Fincher is one of those people and he just built.
Speaker 4 You could have transplanted that you could live in it we should honestly see like where the pieces are that's built but all those walls were were were they were all they could fly all those walls right because all those intricate camera moves they had to I would imagine right the whole thing was like on hydraulics I'll bet yeah I mean I think there were like also different we had like five actual I mean, I don't know if it was five, but we had like different panic rooms that were detached from the whole house.
Speaker 4 And then there was one embedded in the actual house that was like totally practical. And then like,
Speaker 4 there was like, yeah, and then it was just the most elaborate playground for Sean.
Speaker 2 That's what you call when you, when you, when the, in the pantry, when you run out of Snickers, you call that the panic room. The panic room, right.
Speaker 2 Wait, but, but to my point, like, when you, when you, first of all, got the part and then at such a young age, and then there's Jodi Foster, and you guys are, like, working together.
Speaker 2
To me, again, to me, I would have been like, oh, my God, it's Jodi Foster. But having grown up in the business, were you like, hey, Jody, I'm Kristen.
Here we go. This scene goes like this.
Speaker 2 And blah, blah, blah. Were you desensitized to it?
Speaker 4 It was different. Like, cause I was now being spoken to.
Speaker 4 It's like, um, I guess I grew up on movie sets, like, eating Snickers and stuff, but I wasn't actually like in front of the camera and being like, hey, what's up? How's it going?
Speaker 4 What are we going to do now?
Speaker 2 Like, it was.
Speaker 4 So that part was like,
Speaker 4 it was crazy that all of a sudden I was like part of the process because I grew up hanging out with my mom on set all the time.
Speaker 4 And that's kind of why I wanted, I mean, it is why I wanted to be there and to engage with it.
Speaker 4 I can't remember if I was starstruck.
Speaker 4 Like, I wasn't, it was, I was like intimidated by just being having to be like, okay, this is like a job and I have to be like, yeah, for sure, Jodi, let's do this.
Speaker 2 Let's rehearse. Let's block this scene.
Speaker 4 But it started off being someone else.
Speaker 3 But for you, was it like kind of how it was for me where you, you like, had I been older and understood all the adult responsibilities of rent and taxes and all that stuff,
Speaker 3 the stakes of auditions and the stakes of performing well when it, when at work would be so much higher than as kids, we were like, oh, this is great.
Speaker 3
Fuck, I get to take the day off from school and just kind of like playing around. And so the stakes were lower.
It was more fun. And so therefore it wasn't quite as anxiety inducing.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 2 Absolutely.
Speaker 4
I mean, I think I like grew into that. I think when I was, yeah, you know, when you're little and you're just like, yeah, I can do this.
And everyone else thinks I can.
Speaker 3 And my anxiety came later. How about that?
Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4 It's not to be a weirdo, but that's definitely just comes with the hormonal surge of like, oh, no, do I need to consider like having sex now right and I have to consider and you're like well now my life's complete I'm debilitated
Speaker 2 we're life's over
Speaker 2 but JB what age was it JB that because you also had the thing when you were a kid of like
Speaker 2 providing so like doing the work was a way of right of contributing
Speaker 3 yeah I mean it was difficult because my parents were also in a position of manager in my career and also in my sister's career and so they were being compensated for that but from us as well.
Speaker 3 And so that got complicated because
Speaker 3 those monies went into, you know, rent and mortgage. And so if we're not working, that affects the bottom line for the household.
Speaker 4
But you didn't know about that. You weren't aware of it.
I did.
Speaker 3 I was keenly aware of it. And it was fucking stressful because remember work permits.
Speaker 4 So what you were just saying wasn't true.
Speaker 3 You did to feel like well, eventually, yeah. But what at the start, though, at the start, it was all kind of fun and games.
Speaker 3 But then as I kind of got into like 14, 15, 16, 17 and school got harder and um you know remember with work permits you had every six months your work permit had to get renewed and they would renew your work permit based on your grades you had to hold at least a c average and that's not difficult but if you know you have to it becomes difficult, especially when you're looking down the barrel of a midterm or a final exam where that's a huge percentage of your grade.
Speaker 3 And I know if I fail this test for some weird reason, now I get fired off the show. All those people are out of work and we got no money coming into the house.
Speaker 4 Did you find that it was hard to keep your grades up
Speaker 4 kind of dipping in and out of
Speaker 3 because I was really good at cheating.
Speaker 2 Because you know, when you're on the set doing school, it's only three hours a day.
Speaker 3 It is just you and the tutor and you can kind of like
Speaker 3 hide a bunch of notes.
Speaker 2 In college, I would be, my eyes hurt from, I would be in those big lecture halls and my eyes hurt from cheating because I would, my face would be forward, but my eyes would look at the paper night.
Speaker 2 And my eyes would be so much pain.
Speaker 2 Anyway, how are you?
Speaker 2 You ruined your peripheral vision from cheating.
Speaker 2 So then, Kristen, so then, how old were you when you did the first of the Twilight films?
Speaker 4 17.
Speaker 2 17. I mean, 17 years old.
Speaker 2 And talking to the extent, I'll quote Jason to the extent to which you're comfortable about that process of being part of something that's so
Speaker 2 such a global phenomenon and it instantly kind of
Speaker 2 again, you've been working since you were a kid, you've you've been around it but now you're part of something that is so known and so like it's it kind of yeah now you're famous yeah famous in a way that can't go out and around but also like in a way that very few people experience especially at that kind of rate
Speaker 4 yeah that was and also 17 is like the most awkward age ever it's you're just now starting to be like oh i am a woman and like um
Speaker 4 Yeah, I think, I think I always kind of like was super utilitarian about the job because my parents are crew and I was just like, yeah, I love this job. It's what I'm going to do forever.
Speaker 4
I'm going to make movies forever. And it's like, it's chill.
And then that definitely made things different. Yeah.
Speaker 2 Yeah, I'll bet.
Speaker 4 But it was, I mean, we have, we have kind of like a cool insulated, like when people ask me about like my high school years or like my college years, which I didn't do either of because I'm an idiot.
Speaker 2 Same.
Speaker 2 But
Speaker 4
that's like the period. of time that I think about.
And so it's so weird because it doesn't feel like I'm referencing myself. Like I feel like
Speaker 4
talking about a different time, it's like, it's hard for me to relate to that. It's like so personal.
I don't see it from the outside. I'm like, well, I was going through like,
Speaker 4
it's just so fucking weird to do everything personal publicly. Yeah.
It's like, oh, you know who I was dating. You know exactly what happened.
Speaker 2 Right, right, right, right. It's like me saying, where do you live? And you're like, oh, unfortunately, everybody knows where you live.
Speaker 4 It's like, are you guys asked about your first like partners
Speaker 4 every time you do an interview about like, obviously, like, the series comes up, it's where I come from.
Speaker 2 It's like, oh, well, what about that?
Speaker 4 And you're like, it's crazy that people are still asking me about that first dude.
Speaker 2 Well,
Speaker 2 yeah, you know,
Speaker 2 I didn't have that, and I didn't go to college either. And
Speaker 3 I'm the dummy that has like, and now I want to ask who was the dude.
Speaker 2 Like, I have no idea.
Speaker 2 I don't either, by the way.
Speaker 4 Well, you know, the like, it's the proverbial dude.
Speaker 2 Like, right,
Speaker 3 but it seems like you, all you guys in there were all like, it was such a phenomenon, I, as I remember. I apologize, I have not seen them.
Speaker 3 Everybody got famous really fast it must have been comforting that you guys each had each other yeah to kind of go through it with and you could kind of lean on one another because i seem to remember you guys all got sort of an equal level of fame um and you could kind of go through it together i would imagine that that was there was some sort of comfort in that
Speaker 4 yeah totally i mean like we were all so different i don't know i think about that on like
Speaker 4 like the first picture that i ever saw saw of myself in a
Speaker 4 like newspaper was in the post.
Speaker 4
It sounds like so old school too. It's like, we open the post and there you are and cover smoking weed with your dog.
And this is like my boyfriend's family.
Speaker 4 And they're like from Staten Island and they're like, what's going on here? And I was like, oh, what is going on here? Like the movie wasn't even out yet.
Speaker 4 I didn't, I've never been photographed by paparazzi in my life. I was like, been acting since I was 10 years old and was like, what the hell?
Speaker 4 And then like we were, uh, I got in trouble, and I was like, Oh, I think this is gonna ruin everything. I'm so sorry, and now weed's legal, and everything was fine, right?
Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4 yeah. But I just thought that was such a big deal.
Speaker 3 Was there a moment there where you considered like things would be so, this was fun, but things would be so much easier if I got back to anonymity.
Speaker 3 I'm still young enough where I can go to college, I can study another career. I, I, I went through that, I was like, Is this worth it? And can I sustain a level of success and and income um
Speaker 3 and i can get all the way to the finish line because i got to decide now
Speaker 4 yeah these are the years for college so like it was did you go through any of that i have to say i felt like at the time that i could have like redirected energy and like
Speaker 4
become become an academic yeah I was so hungry for more work because like the Twilight series itself took forever. Like it was, we did it over like a four-year period.
We made five movies.
Speaker 4 It's probably more than four years, by the way, like 17, 18, 19, 20, 21. Like those,
Speaker 4 I wanted to make other movies at the same time so badly.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 4 I just sort of crashed and burned and barreled my way through those years and just like was really like lacked any balance. I was just like, I was just.
Speaker 4 working constantly.
Speaker 2 Singularly focused. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Yeah. You had your eyes on the end of that tunnel.
When you're done with your obligation on the franchise, you could start doing other movies that were a little bit more exciting to you.
Speaker 4 Well, I kind of, we all kind of, if we were able to, like, tried to like slam one in in between.
Speaker 4 And so that was why it was kind of like such a loaded period because we were like either promoting one of these movies, making one of these movies, or trying to shove in something that gave you some like variation.
Speaker 4 And not in terms of what it like was like for other people, but just so you could like do something other than play that one part for fucking six years.
Speaker 2 But then, but then at the tail end of that, did you find yourself like,
Speaker 2 was there sort of a moment of like relief or just like, I'm sure it was a great experience. I don't mean in that sense.
Speaker 2 I just mean that like just the absolute kind of, you know, making five films in four years and everything that comes with that and all the exterior pressures and all the,
Speaker 2 did you find that moment of like, fuck, where you could just kind of exhale and kind of take a second?
Speaker 2
Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, I bet.
Speaker 3 And then the great news is that you did start to make, you know, films that were, not to disparage those those films at all but films that were very very different and it seems a little bit more on your sort of
Speaker 3 artistic uh ideals and and and and tastes for lack of better phrases i mean um like your career is just like really it's incredible especially spencer you i thought you were just incredibly
Speaker 3 so so good i couldn't agree more unbelievable nice to say all that thanks yeah yeah no truly i mean you're thought of as just one of our great actors you know and like that's like not a lot of people come out of, you know, franchises like that and then get the kind of credibility that you have earned.
Speaker 3 And so it's just, it's just, it's awesome.
Speaker 2 Well, it feels like, Kristen, like you've had kind of like three careers in such a, or like four, like you've had, you've done so many different things.
Speaker 2 And now you've got this new film coming out that look, like I said, I obviously haven't seen it yet. It was just at Sundance.
Speaker 2 Right.
Speaker 2 How was the reception at Sundance? It must have been awesome.
Speaker 4 It was really fun. It was cool because I hadn't done like a,
Speaker 4
I think we, what was called like a midnight screening. And I was nervous because I fall asleep in movies past 7 p.m., like no matter what.
And I was like, we have to screen our movie.
Speaker 4
Like everyone's going to be sleepy and sick and like altitude sick. And like, it was just like a cesspool.
Everyone's just, I was just like, this is not the time to screen the movie.
Speaker 4 But it was like, it was like
Speaker 4
a real, a rumpus room. I just couldn't believe it.
I was like, everyone is like fully engaged in like standing up and clapping during parts of the movie.
Speaker 4 I was like, this is, I haven't fucking hung out in a theater in this way in forever.
Speaker 2 Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 We'll be right back.
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Speaker 4
The family that vacations together stays together. At least, that was the plan.
Except now, the dastardly desk clerk is saying he can't confirm your connecting rooms.
Speaker 2 Wait, what?
Speaker 4
That's right, ma'am. You have rooms 201 and 709.
No, we cannot be five floors away from our kids.
Speaker 3 The doors have double locks, they'll be fine.
Speaker 4 When you want connecting rooms confirmed before you arrive, it matters where you stay.
Speaker 2 Welcome to Hilton.
Speaker 4 I see your connecting rooms are already confirmed. Hilton, for this this day.
Speaker 2 All right, back to the show.
Speaker 2 So what do you, what's the kind of stuff that you do look for now? Because you have, like, you are kind of doing lots of different kinds of films.
Speaker 2 And so as you kind of think about what, what's, you know,
Speaker 2 you know, the things that attract you, the things that excite you in terms of filming, like, what are the, like, what are the things that are out there? You're like, fuck, I want to do that. Yeah.
Speaker 4 It's so hard to answer that all the time. You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 Like, especially as an actor, you're like, you know it when you see it, and then you feel like a crazy person because you'll just like do anything to make it happen.
Speaker 4 But then before you see it, you're just sort of floating in this liminal, like, I want to want something.
Speaker 4 But I, but we're kind of starting to,
Speaker 4 I'm really gonna, I mean, like, you know, it's not the first I've mentioned that I've been sort of like sending out this like siren song about wanting to make this movie
Speaker 4 based on one of my favorite books. And I'm pretty sure,
Speaker 4 I'm pretty sure at some point in the next like week or two, it's going to be something that I can say, I am doing this and we are going to make this now because we have monies to do so.
Speaker 2 But it's so hard to get monies for small movies. Yeah.
Speaker 2 But this is not the film you're directing though, right? This is different from the film that you're directing.
Speaker 4 This is the one I'm trying to direct.
Speaker 2
This is the one you're trying to direct. Okay, so you have talked about it.
This is
Speaker 2
Chronology of Water. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 3 And would that be the first film that you direct?
Speaker 2
Yeah. First feature.
Yeah, first feature.
Speaker 3 Oh, my God. How exciting.
Speaker 2
I was going to get to that, JB, because both of you guys, again, there's similarity. You grew up in it and you were around it.
Your parents were in it. And your mom's a supervisor.
Speaker 2 And you've made a load of films and done it really well. It makes sense that you would want to direct.
Speaker 3 I mean,
Speaker 3 what is the draw, Kristen? Like, do you, are you attracted to the sort of
Speaker 3 holistic sort of four corners, you know, you got to do it all kind of thing as opposed to just the, just the acting lane and playing a character because that's kind of what's the draw for me and more interface with the crew.
Speaker 4 I feel like on movies that I really love making,
Speaker 4 you get to be a part of the crew and like directors that let you into that process, it's like, it's not, it doesn't always happen, but sometimes you're sort of like, we're all making this.
Speaker 4 Even though there's like clearly somebody who spearheads and like, obviously the perspective that's being maintained comes from a singular place.
Speaker 4 It still feels like everyone's hand is in a balanced way supporting like the weight of that.
Speaker 4 And so, like, as an actor, I always feel like the director's in the scene with me, or at least, or I don't always, but when it's good, I feel like we've done it. I don't know, there's an exchange.
Speaker 4
And I just want to step onto the other side of it and be like, it's the same. It's not the same job.
There's an element of it that's sort of like kick-starting someone's engine.
Speaker 4 And I just know I will be so good at that. Like, I just know how to get people going and like, or not peep, peep, I know how to get people.
Speaker 4 I mean, like, actor, like, if you're doing anything real, it happens. And you can do that while not being on camera.
Speaker 4
And I just can't wait to sort of like take care of someone and sort of set them on a path. I'm thinking about one person in particular and one movie in particular now.
So I just like, I want
Speaker 4
so badly to just like preserve this path that this girl is on. And I want to see what she does with all of my ideas.
I want to see how she makes them better.
Speaker 4 I want to like, I just want to, I want to know how to look at things. I want to,
Speaker 4
I'm always, I'm always thinking like the camera should be in a different place. I'm like, you're not seeing this.
Trust me, I know I'm not being received.
Speaker 3 Like, I just, I can't wait to put something together from the very bottom to the top and just have a, have a plan and communicate that plan to a team and be a motivator. And just, I got you guys.
Speaker 3
Here's what we're going to do. And just maybe trust me, if you're not seeing it, you will.
And like, are you, are you like that in other parts of your life? Like,
Speaker 3 are you, are you the one that comes up with the great idea for where where we're gonna throw the party or where where we're gonna go to dinner and who should be at the dinner where they should sit like are you a good planner like that type a yeah i'm like a total control freak i'm like if i could just design everything all the time truly i have to i have to hold myself back from being like this is what everyone should do you know like yeah i feel but i feel like that control the control freak i know you're kind of you're being sort of self-effacing there but it it does kind of get a bad rap there it's it's we have to come up with a better term than control freak because it's such such a pejorative when really well you're like a rebel rouser you're like you're like somebody who's like let's go man like let's like follow an idea you're gonna love what's your son check this out i'm a capricorn oh oh yeah which which is not great for collaboration but i'm working on it
Speaker 4 i recently was i was like um i was hitting i was i was at do you guys does anyone play golf you guys take so much oh my god oh hell yeah let's go will and i have a sickness yeah yeah yeah me too but it's so fun i'm i'm like fully my i totally fucked up my ring finger because there's this like bump on it that I hate so much, but it's not going to go anywhere.
Speaker 2 What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Are you a serious golfer?
Speaker 4 I have made a hole in motherfucking one.
Speaker 2 Kristen Stewart, we're making news today. This is
Speaker 3
never had a hole in one. I hate you.
I've been playing.
Speaker 2
Jason shot a 70. That is not fair.
Jason shot a 70 last week, a one under. It was.
Speaker 4 Oh, I've never, I've never shot a par.
Speaker 4 I mean, I've on single holes, but I've never parred any course.
Speaker 4 like not even the one that I'm not even the one that I live next to which is weird like it's like the Bermuda Triangle because I've like birdie birdie birdied and then just like fucking shit the bed and like ruined it and just like is this are you naturally gifted or have you have you studied this have you taken lessons and my dad taught me how to swing when I was little and then I didn't play until a pandemic and then I started playing
Speaker 2 that's what we did That's what we did.
Speaker 3 And then so wait, so you're out there at public courses there. You're going to like Wilson Harding and
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 3 Have you not?
Speaker 2 Oh, my
Speaker 2 God. She's showing us Cheisner.
Speaker 3 She's showing us the
Speaker 3 crystal from the local public golf course.
Speaker 4 Yeah, the Par Three down the street as a tattoo on your forum.
Speaker 3 You are a badass.
Speaker 2 Wow, that is so big.
Speaker 4
It's big, too. I really went in.
I was, me and my friends like finished up and we had this great game and we had a bunch of beers and we were like, let's go. We're best friends.
Speaker 2 We'll be best friends forever.
Speaker 4 But honestly, these are my like best girls.
Speaker 3 But wait a second. You got that tattoo after a few beers because I was was literally just scouting today at a tattoo place here in the East Village.
Speaker 3 And I said to the guy, I said, What are you, what are your hours?
Speaker 3 Usually he goes, well, you know, you're supposed to stay up until about two in the morning, but they get too many drunks in here that want tattoos.
Speaker 3 And then they come back the next day and they say, hey, can you take this off? Where's the eraser?
Speaker 3 And so I start shutting down around seven or eight o'clock because you're not supposed to get a tattoo with a little buzz on, but you did.
Speaker 2 No.
Speaker 4
No, because it like thins your blood and you don't make, you know, choice choices. But he was a friend of a friend and he's an idiot.
And so here we are. But I still like it.
Speaker 2 I don't know if I've made bad decisions drinking. Let me think about it.
Speaker 3 Wait, Kristen, I really want to play golf with you one day.
Speaker 3 I'm going to get a hold of you, and one day I'm going to take you out to...
Speaker 2
JB's out of town. Kristen, you can come play with me because he's not at the club right now, but I am.
Yeah, I'm tired of golf until October.
Speaker 2
Well, after you guys golf, Kristen, I read somewhere a while ago that you like cooking. I love cooking.
Then after golf.
Speaker 3 Sean, you can't change the fucking switch.
Speaker 2
Why not? What else are we going to talk about golf for? You swing the ball in your middle. Sean, you got to play golf.
It's tattooed, dude. You can't just hijack the conversation.
Speaker 4 Dude, you get really hungry playing golf. Like, we just have dinner after.
Speaker 2
That's what I'm saying. Chili burgers or whatever.
Yeah, you're speaking Sean.
Speaker 3 Have you just been playing the public courses or have you gone around to all the country clubs too?
Speaker 4 I've been taken to like one or two really fancy courses. It's a completely different vibe.
Speaker 2 It is, right?
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 3 There's some good and some bad.
Speaker 2 Oh, you don't like middle-aged white guys?
Speaker 2 I like you guys.
Speaker 4 Yeah, it's but pervasively, I will say, sort of on the whole.
Speaker 2 Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 2
Anyway, that's so cool. That's so, so, so, so, so, so cool that you do that.
And we can't wait to play with you.
Speaker 3 Shawni, a food question?
Speaker 2 Yeah. Yes.
Speaker 2 So do you cook with butter or oil?
Speaker 2 Oh.
Speaker 4 Actually, it's very weird that you asked that because last night I made a pomodoro and I used a bunch of butter.
Speaker 4 And I was like, I know you're kind of a bit of a cheat, but if you like emulsify the shit out of it and it gets all frothy and amazing and you like miss it,
Speaker 4 and it was really incredible.
Speaker 4 But this morning I thought you could probably do that with olive oil and it would be just, it would be different, maybe less rich, but you still could get that frothy kind of thing, Sean?
Speaker 2 Sean, does your, does your chef agree? So, or, I mean, do you agree?
Speaker 2 It's all about that pasta water.
Speaker 3 But wait, why would one want to go with olive oil instead of butter? Because it's healthier or different taste.
Speaker 2 Well, it's also a little more Italian to use oil than butter. That's the thing.
Speaker 2 Because at least in America, we did did body.
Speaker 2 I like the oil coffee.
Speaker 2 And they're also smoking.
Speaker 2 Are you one of those people because of your self-described kind of quote control freak, like you said? Do you cook for all your friends and like groups of people?
Speaker 2 Like, do you like to command the kitchen? Yeah.
Speaker 4 Yeah, I did Thanksgiving this year.
Speaker 2 Oh, you did? By yourself? How'd that go?
Speaker 4 Me and my girlfriend did it. Like, and then people brought stuff and it was so annoying because we were so inundated with food and mine was like ours was really great.
Speaker 4 And then we had all these like dishes sort of muddying the water. Just was like, what is all this bullshit?
Speaker 2
Which is in their shitty pots, in their tacky pans. Again, it's not Control for Kids Dream Maker.
I think it's Dream Maker. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 Did you do the turkey and everything?
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 3 I hear that's not easy.
Speaker 4 I have a,
Speaker 4 I really figured it out. You have to get it in pieces.
Speaker 4 Like to do the whole thing is, is really difficult, but if you get it in different pieces in the like the neck and back, or it's really gnarly to talk about meat in this way, but are like detached and get that dry brine going.
Speaker 4 And so it's like all encrusted.
Speaker 3 So you've done this before.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 2 Wow.
Speaker 3 Now, how did you get the cooking bug? Did mom or dad cook when you were growing up?
Speaker 4 Yeah, they did a bit. I'm just like, I'm kind of a stoner and I'm just really food obsessed.
Speaker 3 So like you get a little snacky and you want something nice, yeah.
Speaker 4 And I like playing in the kitchen, but do you guys cook too?
Speaker 2 Yeah, well, I started baking because I started making a cheesecake, and I was like, I want because I wanted a piece of cheesecake. His cheesecake is so good, by the way.
Speaker 2 And so I'm sitting there craving a piece of cheesecake. I'm like, well, why don't I just get off my ass and make it?
Speaker 2 So I just made it. It's so good.
Speaker 3 Because the chef didn't show up yet. She used to show up late.
Speaker 3 Sean's doing real well, Kristen. Real well.
Speaker 2 Do you ever make shit? Do you ever make shit food like Slappy Joe's? I make Slappy Joe's a lot, too.
Speaker 4 Yeah, I have like, I'm definitely low, low and high.
Speaker 2 You're just making fun of the slop.
Speaker 3 No, no, no. Wait, you have low and high?
Speaker 2 Is that what you said? Yeah, like I like to be fancy and also like, you know, scuzzy. We got low and high.
Speaker 2 We have Slappy Joe's scuzzy.
Speaker 3 How are you? Now, you know,
Speaker 3
Sean is in great shape. He's a beautiful man, super handsome.
But he does have his little cookie pouch. Yeah.
And
Speaker 3 that's from all of
Speaker 3 the fun food that he eats.
Speaker 3 Why do you have no cookie pouch, Kristen?
Speaker 2 You're talking like... I have a cookie pouch.
Speaker 2 Very fit.
Speaker 3 I guess what I'm getting to is you don't have like a huge workout regimen that offsets. Like you don't work out so that you can eat.
Speaker 4 I mean, I have gotten, as I've grown into a reasonable adult who's not a total shit show, I actually do exercise and like cook healthy food and try not to eat the meat. And like,
Speaker 4 I've incorporated some ex
Speaker 4 it's like I'm either eating sloppy sloppy joes
Speaker 4 and like drinking cores and playing Los Filos three times a day or I am like working out constantly and like
Speaker 3 and depriving yourself yummy stuff for a week or two.
Speaker 4
Yeah, like or just more, I don't know. I kind of like going like all in on whatever I'm going in on.
So like me too.
Speaker 2 There's no great.
Speaker 3 What is your sign for Christ's sake?
Speaker 4
Aries. In fact, I was recently at the golf course and this dude that I see all the time there who used to be an actor, he sent us a screenplay of his.
He's an older man.
Speaker 4 He's really actually super hot because he's like he drives this lime green, like hand-painted Honda and like plays guitar out the back, offer us a beer and a sock. I was like, No, a beer,
Speaker 2 but what are you doing? Yeah, he's like, You want one, Justin Thoreau? Is there
Speaker 2 that's crazy?
Speaker 2 We gave you a script and you took it.
Speaker 4 I gave him my email address, yeah.
Speaker 2 I was like, You must send this to me.
Speaker 4 What you're a good person, but he's cool, and he sent he like sang these songs to me and my friends about our signs. And mine was, I, it's, man, what is this guy? It's totally like Google.
Speaker 4 He's on YouTube.
Speaker 4
But he sang this song called, I am, I am, I am the Ram. And like all the verses are about like, I will lead the charge.
And like, but also how completely like,
Speaker 4 like fucking egotistical and like arrogant and like ridiculous and sort of like.
Speaker 3 Yeah, see, you're not going to get people like that bothering you up at the country clubs.
Speaker 2 You know, that's the thing.
Speaker 4 This is like, I prefer this.
Speaker 2 We we can hang around exactly
Speaker 4 but it was like really good
Speaker 4 like he really got me and he really like nailed he really like nailed all my attributes and so yeah like the ram thing it's it is it i'm surprised what's what's the animal for a capricorn uh goat maybe see we have these like annoying horn we're like these silly little animals with big horns yeah Yeah, I don't like it.
Speaker 3 All right.
Speaker 3 We're going to let you go, but what is your
Speaker 3 last meal you could have, being a foodie,
Speaker 3 if you had to call in one last meal?
Speaker 3 Is it a pizza? I think for me, it would be fries and a pizza, I think.
Speaker 2 Would it be dessert? Christian, would it be like a dessert type thing or would it be like...
Speaker 4 No, I'd go pizza over. Yeah, I like the food more.
Speaker 3 You like salt
Speaker 3 more than sugar?
Speaker 4 Primarily, I think so, yeah. But then sometimes
Speaker 4 you just get, yeah, sometimes I get a little crazy.
Speaker 4 no yeah i would say probably pizza i think maybe like so like pizza beer golf and then video games that's a perfect christmas stewart day you just need a van and you're all set i'm not a i'm not a gamer i wish that i was i'm jealous of people who are into sports and video games what's your what's
Speaker 2 if you're not playing golf and you're but you're drinking beer what are you doing if you're not playing golf like are you watching shitty tv or are you i like to play i used to play pool and cook and golf and read and
Speaker 4 make movies. And that's it.
Speaker 2
That's it. By the way, that's plenty.
That's plenty. It's pretty good, too.
It's a wish solid lineup.
Speaker 4 You know what? Really?
Speaker 2
Yeah, it's really good. It's really, really good.
Sean, what's your last meal?
Speaker 2 Spaghetti all day long. Spaghetti? You know what? Like, yeah, you're a fucking and vanilla ice cream.
Speaker 3 Christ.
Speaker 4 Drinking ice cream, that really got me.
Speaker 2 It was really funny.
Speaker 2
Chris is here. We kept you way too long.
Dude,
Speaker 2
we don't deserve your time. What a pleasure.
Yeah, seriously.
Speaker 3 I'm coming after you for some golf. Don't be shocked when I show up.
Speaker 4
Thank you guys for letting me hang out. You guys just all hang out and talk for an hour and then you put it on the internet.
That's such a weird thing to do.
Speaker 2 I didn't do that with my friends. No,
Speaker 2
we'll talk about your movie, too. We'll say your movie again, too.
We're so bad about promoting.
Speaker 3 I can't wait to talk about it. Did we get a date on it yet?
Speaker 2 Yeah, when is it?
Speaker 4 I actually do know this. It is coming out on March 8th.
Speaker 2 March 12th 8th.
Speaker 4 I think, or maybe that's coming out in the beginning of March.
Speaker 3
It's a spring release, y'all. Go see it.
She's in it.
Speaker 2
It's Love Lies Bleeding. It's Kristen Stewart.
The great Kristen Stewart. We don't do this often, but
Speaker 2
we're going to give you a run. She's so nice.
Golf club. Same to you.
We're going to give you the golf club.
Speaker 2
Thank you, Kristen. So nice to see you.
Thank you for today. Thanks, Kristen Stewart.
You were great. You guys, thank you so much.
Speaker 4 Yeah, that was really fun. Thank you.
Speaker 2 And done. And done.
Speaker 2
Well, great. The great Kristen Stewart.
Stewart.
Speaker 2 I can't believe.
Speaker 3 I just love that, you know, she's so,
Speaker 3 there's so much.
Speaker 3 I wish I had
Speaker 2 her street cred, right? She's just, she's cool.
Speaker 3 She's happening.
Speaker 3
The fact that she plays golf is just such a great sort of counterbalance to that. Like, I think it gives golf a great name.
You know, it's like
Speaker 2 golf is uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 Well, listen, it does not have a long history of being street credty.
Speaker 3 So you get some cool person like her playing golf. It's great for the sport.
Speaker 2 I agree, but at the same time, I will say this, like, who gives a shit? I wonder if she wants to go to the dinosaur golf. No, because what people think, what's that?
Speaker 3 She says she's going to become the new dinosaur.
Speaker 2 Oh, she's the new dinosaur. What we got to do is we got to convince her to come to one of these pro-ams with us.
Speaker 3 Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 You know, and we'll be a great get. Yeah, well, and maybe on one of our golf trips, she seems like a super fun hang.
Speaker 3
Well, the AT ⁇ T maybe gets the celebs back maybe next year. Mr.
Steve John, the great Steve John,
Speaker 3 will invite Kristen.
Speaker 2 Maybe that will be.
Speaker 2 And then on top of that, we forget the fact that she's like an Academy Award-nominated Cesar winning actress who's done like, she's done everything from like, it's very, it's not rare, but it's rarefied air of being somebody who's been part of like massive franchises and then done all these like really cool art house films
Speaker 3 that have her co-star would be, would be one of the few that Robert Pattinson had had a similar
Speaker 3 not fortunate because that takes away from their talent, but the both of them were able to find some projects that facilitated a transition for them. Yeah, post that.
Speaker 2 Because like Downey, you could say, but Downey came into it with a huge body of work before he started getting into the Marvel stuff.
Speaker 2 But really to start as a young actor
Speaker 2 and
Speaker 2 come out of that kind of thing.
Speaker 3 Hunger Games.
Speaker 3 Didn't Jennifer Lawrence
Speaker 2
Hunger Games? Yeah, she transitioned well. Great Jennifer Lawrence.
You're right. You're right.
All right. So, but there have been a few days.
It's still rare.
Speaker 3 Yeah, you can't. It's on one hand.
Speaker 2 You should get her to play golf because, you know.
Speaker 2 Here comes, guys.
Speaker 3 Here comes. Get ready.
Speaker 2 Why does it come into the episode?
Speaker 2 No, no, I'm not. I'm just saying because, you know, when.
Speaker 3 Oh, God, he can't. He's so proud of it.
Speaker 2 Go ahead. When golfers sometimes yell that thing at the golf ball, right? Like an announcer will say, like, she's going to have to get this one to blank, right? If she's going to...
Speaker 2 Right?
Speaker 2 Like, when they hit the ball and it's in flight, they go, oh,
Speaker 2 bite, bite, bite, bite,
Speaker 2 bite.
Speaker 2 Okay, we will allow judges will allow. You think we'll allow that? Bite.
Speaker 2 No, I will say this: that particular one actually bites.
Speaker 3 Nice, nice punch-up, Willie.
Speaker 3 Bye, everybody.
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