"Emma Stone"

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You can buy a jar of Jif to save the celery. I had a dream last night that it was the best episode we've ever done.

So I couldn't sleep the rest of the night, got in here, fired up the old machine,

and I'm now waiting on these guys, and I am loose.

I got a little bit of a sweat going.

The hammies are pliable, flexible, and the jaw muscles are ready to really ask some tough questions and giggle at my funny little friends, Sean and Will. Guys, welcome to Smartless.
Smart. Less.
Smart. Less.
Bye. smart less smart less hi guys shut up Sean oh my god I've never I haven't laughed laughed so hard as I did today today when we were on the street.
We'd just come out of a

meeting, the three of us.

Like adults.

Like adults. And Sean

starts to say something and he

like he's doing right now, he

undoes a top of a

bottle of water and he's about to take his hip

or he's going to do it

and Jason slaps it out of his hand.

Lands on the ground.

Just a fun little

hair pull.

Yeah, just a little fun, fun, fun. Just a plastic bottle, nothing broke.
A plastic bottle. So I reach down to grab it because it falls at my feet, and I hand it to Sean, and as he reaches for it, I just drop it right before he can grab it like a child.
So now that's twice. That's twice.
Denied water. And as it lands on the ground,

Sean reaches down to get it and Jason kicks it.

And it goes flying,

hits a curb

and goes under a parked

like construction truck.

It explodes.

The top comes flying off.

The water's everywhere.

Fucking funny.

And I haven't laughed that hard.

I fell to my knees.

Because it was show,

it was high school all over again.

It was like,

it was a little bullying. You were just, you know.
It made me laugh. God, I laughed.
Clean fun. Jay, did you like my cheesecake last night? Yeah.
Now, I would have liked it a little firmer, Sean. Yeah, it was a little too fluff.
You know, it wasn't as gooey as the last one,

so I feel like we're making progress.

I like the last one.

No, I say this as a person, I can't even boil water.

So the fact that you cook anything is incredible.

It's very impressive.

But also, I didn't know, Will, either that...

I've never made whipped cream in my life.

I didn't know that you just pour half and half or whatever in a bowl.

And whip it.

And you just start whipping it. My mind was was there in the title i was like oh you think it's a good idea that you've now learned how easy it is to make whipped cream i think so i think so i think you know i'm doing a night yeah you missed out on a good cheesecake last night well but then i found out then sean told me that the secret ingredient that he does drive an hour and a half for was a British chocolate Cadbury white chocolate bar.
No, not Cadbury. It was another brand, but yeah.
Another brand that we're not going to mention, I guess. We can if you want.
It's called Milky Bar. We already mentioned Cadbury, so we're kind of committed.
But is that a thing? Is that normal that there's a white chocolate candy bar in most cheesecakes? Well, no, no. I just melted it to make kind of like the creamy part.
It was one of many ingredients. Sorry, listener.
If you thought you tuned into SmartList, it's cookless this week. Bakeless.
Bakeless. Yeah.
Tasteless. And I was so obsessed with getting the ingredients right, I drove an hour and a half to get it because they don't sell them in the United States.
And what did he do, Will, when he got there? So you drove to another country? When he drove an hour and a half away to get this. What did he do while he was there? He's like, huh, well, look, here's a rare hamburger joint that we don't have near us.
Yeah, Portillo's. Oh, that's why you went to Portillo's.
Yeah, and he put a big burger in his face and uh and a shake too i'll bet yeah i got a shake a piece of cake and i got fries and a hot shake and a piece of cake for lunch piece of cake fries and a hot dog and then when you were when you were on your way and what's that two beef sandwiches went for scotty and this is when you were on the mission driving a school well, I had, I picked up the white chocolate. Were you buying for all the kids in the school bus? No, I never get it.
So I bought like a little extra stuff and I put it on the fridge and I'll heat it up later. Good for you.
Thank you. Guys, let's get started.
Oh, wow, I thought we had, but. This is really exciting, guys, today.
You're going to freak out. Oh, it's your guest.
It's my guest today. I'm so excited.
We got my favorite red-headed firecracker here today. She's a self-proclaimed computer nerd.
And before becoming one of my all-time favorite full-fledged movie stars, she made people websites for free. In fact, at 14 years old, she performed a PowerPoint presentation titled Project Hollywood

in order to convince her parents to let her drop out of high school

and move to LA from Arizona to pursue her

dreams of becoming an actress. Thankfully, that dream

came true so we could talk to her today.

Her name is Emma Stone.

Emma Stone!

Emma Stone!

And Emma's a little under

the weather. I'm a little

under the weather. I can't believe you showed up for us.
did you get into a big pile of bad coke last night Emma listen you know what you've been there right there's meetings for you yeah listen we're saving a seat for you I know thank you are you at home or in a hotel I'm in a hotel I just did a rehab it's at home she's live from our Thanks for having me. What an opening.
Emma's been up for four days, listener. Emma, I don't think of you as a ginger, I guess, per se, when I think of gingers.
Me neither. But you are.
I'm blonde right now. No, no, no, I'm not.
I'm actually, I'm blonde. I have blonde hair right now and I was born blonde.
Well, I was born hairless, but then I grew blonde hair. Okay.
Hairless is my podcast. Sure.
Give us the full run. Bravo.
Yeah, but I dyed it red. Yeah, you were red for a while there, yes? For a long time.
So much so that people thought you were natch red. Red natch.
But I'm not red natch. But wasn't it true that...
My mother's Red Natch. Yeah? You gotta be careful with that word, Natch.
I have a son who's a Natch ginge. Oh.
Yeah. We love a Natch ginge.
Oh, my gosh. Do we ever love a Natch ginge? This has gotten so filthy from the very beginning.
I know. Wait, Emma, didn't you? That Natchy Ginge?

Hey, man.

Do you need a second?

Take a nap.

I've been up for days.

So excited you're on the show with us, Emma.

Thanks for having me. But wait, didn't you diet originally

like when you moved here

and you felt like you weren't getting parched or something?

I feel like I read something

and then you thought maybe your talent, which you're, you know, seeping talent, that that wasn't good enough. And that's what I was telling everyone.
Yes. And that's what I kept saying.
And they went, no, no, no. That hair has got to go.
But that you thought you had to dye your hair, is that true? Yeah, I was, because I moved to LA when I was 15. And so all of the things that I was auditioning for at that time were kind of, you know, like roles for 15-year-old girls at that time were a lot of girls that were very, I guess what I was up for was a lot of very blonde cheerleader-y kind of roles.
And I didn't fit those very well. And so I thought if I dyed my hair brown, it would really set me apart.
Yeah, yeah. How'd that go? You know, it went great, Jason.
Yeah, you got some mascot parts. I didn't get any parts after that either.
But a couple years later, I auditioned for Superbad. And I was at the camera test for that and Judd Apatow said, well, maybe she could have red hair because the other girl in the movie, who's my best friend now, Martha McIsaac, had brown hair.
And so we dyed my hair red and the rest was, you know. But is Sean's incredible research accurate? Were you really doing websites for people? Like, are you a computer person? I was in that kind of, you know, 90s computer format.
I don't know if you guys know, you know, Angel Fire, Geo Cities, that kind of world where you did very primitive HTML. This is not coding by any means.
I would not, if you, in fact, I don't have a computer now. They lent me this computer to be able to do this with you guys.
Oh, do you not do it? I'm like a neo-luddite now. But back then, I was very into the internet and learning about, you know, building drop-down menus and things like that.
I mean, primitive, like, 1998 websites. What are you looking for when you're out there? What are you looking for in a drop-down menu? See, that's the thing.
See, that's the thing. When you want somebody to step...
And this keeps me up at night. If somebody's looking to step into a really elite drop-down menu...
Yeah. If you're looking for great drop-down menu...
What are some of the components on this? You're in the market. Now, okay.
It needs to be clear, clear. We're not using any Comic Sans on my drop-down options.
No, no, no. We're hitting Helvetica hard.
You now are completely, you don't have a computer at all? I don't have a computer at all anymore. Come on.
Wow. I really don't.
What about an iPhone? I have an iPhone, but it's a very cracked. The incredible new iPhone 15.
I don't. Jesus.
Sean? Is this an ad for the iPhone 15? Yeah, if you want to get rid of your old one. It is now.
We're done with that. Cycle's over.
Thank God. We enjoyed our experience, but oh mama, was there a heavy rotation on that.
Sorry about that, America. Wait, so you do, but do you do email off your phone then? I do email on my phone and I, you know, just type it with my thumbs.
So no social media, no nothing else? No. I love that.
No. Come on.
No. That's refreshing.
Thanks so much. You know, I was thinking yesterday, I said to a friend of ours, I says to him, I says...
He says friend? I says friend, I says. Yep.
I said, we should... Imagine the reset this planet would get if we had no social media for six months.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it'd be pretty wild.
The fucking reset would be incredible. What do you think would happen? Well, people would learn how to manage boredom, which I think is a lost talent.
I know I try to teach my kids, like, it's okay if you're bored. That's actually another word for relaxation.
Like, enjoy it. Take a breath.
Being bored is okay. Like, not having anything to do with a red light or an elevator is a good time to kind of like reintroduce yourself to yourself for a minute.
Uh-huh, uh-huh. You know? Well, yeah, do you ever do that thing, Emma, like, where you look at people, I've been doing a lot lately, well, I don't know, where I look around and I go, everybody's on their phone.
Every moment, if there's a down moment, and sometimes it's reflexive because people are nervous or, you know, they feel insecure. Yeah.
But when you wake up in the morning, you don't have like a loop that you have to, or that you like to do on a computer? This is good. Hang on.
What's your computer loop? Well, you know, you hit the New York Times and your email and your calendar and you kind of get your shit together. I just do all that on my phone.
Okay. So I'm probably actually on my phone more than people that have a computer.
But see, what I'm picturing here is that you've got no reason or excuse to get up out of the pillows. Correct.
You're still in the feathers. When you reach over, you grab your phone.
I'm just in a pile of feathers. Yeah, we'll see.
You sleep in a pile of feathers for real? What an angel. What an angel.
I'm down with that. You had a nice desktop.
You could get out and into the living room and join the world. Get yourself a desktop.
This is a great opportunity for a new segment I'm calling. JB, walk us through it.
No, you don't want to follow my morning. All right, so Emma, which one of your rad projects

are we going to talk about today?

There's so many, but okay, so you answer that first.

I don't know.

Which one would you like to talk about?

I want to talk about her childhood.

I want to talk about all these good stuff.

I want to talk about it.

It was your birthday last week.

Happy birthday.

Thank you so much.

Yes.

Thank you.

Are we allowed to guess the age?

Can we guess the age?

Oh, this might be mean, but sure, go ahead. No, no, no, no.
Never. How about, I'm going to go with 24.
25. Will? I'm going to get real.
Yeah, be real. I'm not going to play some.
Will and I worked together when I was, I think, 19. Yes, that's true.
Really? That was a long time ago. That is true.
Oh, he's going to win then. So wait, then Sean, you go next.

Okay.

I was going to say late 20s.

That's very cute, Sean, and sweet.

True, I really don't know.

Are you truly north of 30?

I'm north of 30.

Oh, she is 37.

Come on.

35.

You're the closest by far.

Oh, really?

Yeah, 35.

You give 35 a great name.

That's so young. You don't look 37.
I was just guessing based on what the information is. Okay, well, sure, well, okay.
No, no, no. That's true.
We did work. That was a long time ago.
I know. What was the job? Do you remember? It was called...
The Rocker. The Rocker.
The Rocker. Wait, The Rocker I still need to see.
And what was the other one I said I needed to see the other day? Hot Rod. All right.
Well, let's not go through mine. Emma, go tell everybody who is in The Rock.
Nobody's seen it. Who is in The Rock? I don't know.
The cast is pretty hilarious. It was Rainn Wilson.
Yeah. Jason Sudeikis.
Yep. You.
Bradley Cooper. Yep.
Fred Armisen. Yep.
You. I need to.
Who directed this? A guy named Peter Catanio who directed The Full Monty. Peter Catanio.
Okay, yeah, yeah. And.
John Glazer. John Glazer.
Oh, yeah. The great John Glazer.
Who did Hot Rod? Who directed Hot Rod? Was that, that wasn't Yermo, was it? No, Akiva. Akiva.
Yeah, gotcha. But the cast was pretty.
It was pretty wild. Yeah, we were in Toronto.
We were in Toronto. And I feel like you weren't there for that long.
I was there for a couple months. I was there for a week, maybe.
And what kind of part were you playing, Emma? Well, I was playing the bass in a band that was fronted by... It was sort of a school of rock adjacent, would you say, Will? Yeah, yeah, I would.
Kind of story. Willie, what were you playing? Oh, I played the lead singer of a hair band.
Yeah. True story.
A hair band. You gotta check it out.
And Bradley was the guitarist and Fred was the bassist. Yep.
But it was fun. But yeah, I mean, you have not, I'm trying to think, you just have not stopped working and doing awesome stuff since the moment I became aware of you.
You've just been like consistently just doing cool thing after cool thing, great film after great film. It's pretty remarkable.
Not a lot of people... And rare.
Basically saying you haven't't done anything as shitty as The Rocker since The Rocker, is what Will is saying. I've done way worse movies than The Rocker since The Rocker.
Oh my god. Subjective.
I think, maybe. Let's not go too deep through the IMDB.
I met you once, very briefly, you were so kind years and years ago, blah blah blah, you'd never remember. I think it was at SN like oh my god that's emma stone and then so when i did my research for the for today i didn't know that your name was emily i want to know these guys i know why it's called emma but i want you to tell these guys why it's why you changed it to emma yeah and then i also want to know about your dog bakery thing that you worked at because i have a friend who lives in arizona who has a company it a dog poop company.
She picks up poop, dog poop for, you just call her and she picks up dog poop. But it was in Scottsdale.
Oh, that's where I'm from. I know.
That's why I was like, oh my God. Well, my name was taken...
Have you noticed like there's been less dog poop around when you go home? You know, now that you mention it... You can't gauge how Sean's friends do.
I mean, it used to be absolutely everywhere. Just piles of it.
But her gig is just... She's just a freelance.
She just goes around town. Freelance poop.
And she's looking for just spare poop that's unclaimed and unpicked up. You call her up if you don't want to pick up your dog poop.
It's called Poop Patrol. Sherry's Poop Patrol.
Who's compensating her? The city? Her clients. People who don't want poop in their lawn, man.

Yeah.

Wait, I'm confused.

Wait.

So you call her just to,

so you just let your dogs kind of run free on your own lawn,

like all week,

and then Poop Patrol comes and picks everything up.

That's right.

A gardener comes over, picks up the poop.

Yeah.

Like, instead of blowing the leaves and stuff,

there's a poop.

Yeah, she picks up the poop.

Huh.

Wow.

I don't know, 30 jokes in there?

I didn't know where to...

Well, that's kind of why I brought it up.

It's such a funny job.

You take a tight five and gather them

and then come back to us.

But wait, a dog bakery?

You worked at a dog bakery when you were a teenager?

Okay.

I worked at a dog bakery when I moved to L.A. when I was 15

called Three Dog Bakery at the Farmer's Market.

At the Grove?

At the Grove.

I don't know. when you were a teenager? Okay.
I worked at Dog Bakery when I moved to LA when I was 15 called Three Dog Bakery at the Farmer's Market.

At the Grove?

At the Grove.

I used to go there.

You worked there?

Yes.

Oh my God.

I mean, not for long.

For like maybe six months.

Wow.

So wait, Shawnee,

this was pre-Ricky?

Yeah, this was years ago.

Years and years ago.

This was when I was 15,

20 years ago.

Yeah, that's when I had

my two other dogs.

I used to go there to shop for them. Do you think that we ever ran into each other then? Probably.
Maybe. Huh.
I think word would have gotten out that Will and Grace's Sean Hayes was there. I think you're right.
I think I would have told everybody. Guaranteed.
You probably should. Guaranteed.
Oh, my God. Okay, so I must not have been working those hours.
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Hey guys, everybody should have a support system, right? Who's your support system? My support system, as you well know, talk about all the time is Scotty. And of course my two besties, Will and Jason.
Whenever I have a problem, an issue, I talk to them about it. And if they're not available, I will talk to a therapist and I've been going to therapy for a long time and it's always great.
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That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash SmartList. All right, back to the show.
Tell these guys why you changed your name from Emily to Emma. Well, it was, originally, my name was taken at Screen Actors Guild.

Right.

When I got my card when I was 16.

So it was an Emily Stone.

Wow.

And so I originally changed it to Riley,

because when you tell a 16-year-old that they can just change their name,

you pick a cool name.

And so I was like, I'll be Riley.

That's number one.

You could have changed it to Emma Middle Name Lee. Emma Lee Stone.
Right? Oh. I don't know if I could pull off being a three-namer.
Fuck, is there any way you could call her 20 years ago? Could you call me 20 years ago really quick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real quick.
Just one second. We'll pause.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we'll just.
That is a real thing, though, right? That is a real thing, though. All people who change their names because of SAC.
Because there's already somebody... Yeah.
Michael J. Fox, I think, was because there was already a Michael Fox, right? One of the great ones is, isn't...
I feel like Michael Keaton is Michael Douglas. Oh, wow.
Oh, really? Oh, yes. And he changed his last name to Keaton because Michael Douglas was Michael Douglas.
I just learned Albert Brooks' real name is Albert Einstein. I did not know that.
No. Swear to God.
Swear to God. That's unbelievable.
His brother was Bob Einstein, you know, Super Dave Osborne. That was Bob Einstein, and that's Albert's brother.
But anyway, Emily to Emma. Emily to Emma.
Because? Well, because you're trying to get to the Spice Girls. Yes.
You should have changed your name to Albert Einstein because that was free. That's true.
That one's free now. Not being used anymore.
Wait, so you went to Emma. I went to Emma because growing up, I was an enormous, I mean, still to this day I am, but an enormous, sorry, I'm slurring.
Right, because you've been up for four days. You need to take a nap.
Yeah, I got to take a nap. I was a huge Spice Girls fan.
And there was Emma, who was baby spice. No way.
Crazy about her. Yeah.
I love that. I had the opportunity.
When I was in, you know, like second or third grade, I asked the teacher to call me Emma, but it didn't ever stick. But then I had the chance to do it permanently, and here I am.
I love that. Have you met the Spice Girls since? I have.
Does she know that? I've met the Spice Girls now. I think she does, because she gave me a really special T-shirt that she had signed.
It was like, from one Emma to another kind of thing. It was pretty cool.
Did you keep it together, or did you just totally fan out on that? all. But I will say, the night before I met them, we were going to their concert in England when they, you know, had done, they did like a reunion tour a couple years ago in 2019.
And the night before, I went to a party at somebody's house and the magician David Blaine was there. And he did a just an astounding trick.
He did this card trick and then it was this whole thing and it was an illusion. And he pulled up his phone and the card was reflected in a picture on someone's phone.
In the glasses of someone on a boat was this crazy thing. And I got so excited.
Now, this is a tale as old as time because I'm about to tell you a story from yesterday as well. Whoa.
I got so excited that I ran. I was like, I can't stand it because I'm such a big fan of magic.
And I couldn't stand it. And I ran.
And I was wearing these heeled boots. And I slipped on the wood floor.
This is the night before the Spice Girls concert. Slipped, my arm went back out behind me and I broke my fucking shoulder.
When was the blame responsible for that? 2019, the summer of 2019. So the next day I'm supposed to go to the Spice Girls concert and I was like, there is no way on earth I'm missing this.
So we got

in England one of these, you know,

things from Boots, the drugstore,

this little sling, and I hadn't even gotten an

x-ray yet, and I went, and I was in so

much pain that actually

meeting the Spice Girls under those circumstances

was probably better, so I

couldn't do that in front of them

instead. And your excitement was so

tempered by the pain you were in. It was so tempered by the pain that I was like, it's amazing to meet you guys.
Oh, my God. Like, it was so brutal.
It was broken in two places. And then yesterday, I have bone density issues.
That's clear. Because I broke my toe yesterday.
No. Kicking something? I did.
Are you kidding me? Doing what? On what? Getting out of the shower. Yeah.
Well, you shouldn't be lying down in the shower. What do you mean getting out? I know.
You accidentally, you stubbed it on something? I slammed it into something, and now it's completely black and blue and, like, all messed up. So I've been icing it all day.
And you're sick, and you showed up for us today. God bless you.
How did you not cancel? It's a dream. This is incredible.
Are you kidding? I'm sitting on a computer with headphones. This is lovely.
Half of one of those excuses would have made me cancel this thing. Really? I was just thinking.
I was so excited for this. I would give anything for improved bone density.
Yeah. Sorry, just sidebar.
Sidebar. Sorry.
We need to take, what is it, Boniva or something? Yeah, Boniva. There's some pill to help our bone density.
But I've broken seven bones. Before I was 30, I broke seven bones.
Emma. Isn't that crazy? Wow.
So then you seriously looked into this. You seriously do have bone density issues? There's an endocrinologist was like, we got to talk about this.
Like something's up with you. Right.
And did he come up with anything? Just that I need to take a lot of vitamin D and calcium and do apparently weight-bearing exercises like heavy lifting is what creates more bone density. Well, you could just drink milk and eat like dumplings from Chin Chin like Sean.
Jesus. He has a glass of milk four times a day? No, I have a glass of milk with dinner every night.
No, you don't. I really do.
You're joking. Why not? It's good for you.
That's Chris. It's good for you.
It's vitamin C. Will you sit at dinner drinking a glass of milk? Yeah, I saw it a week ago.
I just stopped. Are you just doing it to be adorable or you really enjoy it? No, this is what he does.
No, I... Like leaving the beaver.
You know why because... He lives like he's in the 50s.
It's incredible. 12-year-old in the 50s.
Because water's too boring and soda has too much sugar, so I just drink milk. Well, you know, they have zero sugar soda now.
I'm not into it. So, listen.
I want to... Wow.
By the way, since we're on medical stuff... I wish this was just a gallon of milk.
That would be so good. That's crazy.
Is it true, because you have one of those cool million, billion dollar voices too, is it true that you, first of all, didn't know you had asthma until you had an asthma attack while filming EZA, which I read. The other thing is, did you really have a condition when you were a baby because you cried too much? And it made your voice.
Is that true you were colicky that you that gave you a raspy voice like extremely colicky for five months what's colicky can you imagine now having a kid i i cannot imagine having a colicky baby to that extent five five what does that mean colicky colic is apparently a condition where your stomach is killing you like there's you're in lot of pain. It's like everything I can talk about is just my medical trauma.
No, I know. It's fascinating.
But here's what I think it is. It is the intestines or part of the GI tract that is still developing and unkinking itself.
And there is a kink in the hose that is not, it still needs to grow to release itself, and it takes a couple of weeks, and the babies are miserable. Miserable.
So it was like if I was awake, I was screaming myself hoarse every day, and I think it was very, very traumatizing for my parents. I see.
You know what's good for bone density is those, the astronauts, you know that thing, the power plate thing that vibrates, that's supposed to be good for bone density. Oh, thanks, Will.
Isn't that kind of a 50s thing, too? Yeah. I don't know, man.
The little belt around you that shakes. I read it once over a glass of milk.
I was trying to. I want to know.
Let's get to the career stuff because it's really interesting to me. Okay, great.
Wait, how old's your, how old, no, hang on. How old's your baby? Let's just do a quick, How old's your baby? Two and a half.
Two and a half. Sweet.

Boy, girl?

Girl.

Girl.

Oh, sweet.

I didn't know that.

That's so fantastic.

Congratulations.

Thank you so much.

Yeah.

With your husband,

who you met at SNL.

Did you meet him at SNL?

Truly.

Dave McCary?

Yeah.

And is he...

What does he do with SNL?

He was a writer-director there

for about five years.

Oh, nice. Doing digital shorts.
And you met him there? I met him there, yeah. But we had a bunch of mutual friends, so, yeah.
So great. I love that.
I feel like I was there that week, too, although you've probably hosted a few times. I remember being there once when you were hosting, and I was just like, oh, she's crushing it.
Guys, wait, hold on. I'm going to host on December 2nd.
I get to get my five-timers jacket. No way.

No way.

I'm so excited.

I can't even stand it.

I'm like, I'm freaking out.

You're so good at it.

That's really, really cool.

Wait, so Emma, you and Dave married in the pandemic.

And was that just because it was planned that way and you just kept it?

Or were you like, you know what, let's just do this now?

You were waiting for a pandemic, weren't you?

Didn't you guys say you wanted to get married, but let's wait for a pandemic to hit? I read that somewhere. Just trim the fad a little bit on the invite list? Yeah.
You know, the week that I got married, I did open a refrigerator and the handle broke off and I got a black eye. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. You need a helmet.
And that's where it stops. You know, I do need a helmet.
Oh, my God. I need a helmet and extensive therapy.
You got this new show with Nathan Fielder. I want to skip ahead.
I know she's your guest. Oh, yes.
But that looks really... I know she's your guest, but I'll take this one.
But I say, it looks really fun. First of all, he's great.
And not just because he's Canadian. He's super funny.
You're super funny. And when I first saw the ad for it, I was like, these motherfuckers.
And then they got one of those safeties in there. Yeah, they sure did.
Put a wig on him. And then the three...
Took the boom out of his hand and said, go. This is like a fucking, this is like a fucking talent explosion happening in one thing.
I'm so goddamn excited for this thing. I haven't seen...
Yeah, me too. I'm so excited for this.
It's a wild ride, that one. Tell us about, how did that come to you, to your orbit? So Nathan and I have known each other through Dave and Dave's best friend Kyle Mooney have been friends.
I love Kyle Mooney. Huge.
And they've been best friends since they were nine years old. Oh wow.
Yeah. And so Nathan knew Dave and Kyle well and I got to know Nathan for a couple years.
And then I think in 2020, 2019 maybe, Nathan called me and said that he and Benny Safdie had come up with this kind of loose idea for a show based on something that Nathan had really experienced where someone had said that they curse him in a moment. And he was like, this probably isn't true, but he found that it haunted him.
Sure. And they started coming up with this sort of premise of what would happen if you're kind of going about your life and they had this idea for this couple who is trying to create their own hgtv show but early on right the husband a little girl says i i curse you and if that hangs over the the premise of this whole show and how that evolves and kind of makes them go crazy um whether it's you know real or not and it just sort of spiraled out from there and became this very intense show.
It's really, it is a comedy, but it's kind of not a comedy. Kind of dark.
It's very, yeah, there's a lot going on there. So it was, no, it was a blast.
And we were in New Mexico for like half of last year shooting that. And say the title again.
The Curse. Yeah, The Curse.
I see posters for it everywhere. And say the title one more time.
Just for the third time. So, The Curse.
I want to talk about Poor Things too, which is a movie that you have coming out. The brilliant Yorgos Lanthimos.
I'm going to go see it this week. You are? Yeah.
Where are you going to see it? I'm seeing it... At one of the screenings? Because I'm going to be at those.
Yeah. I'll see you there.
I just got a text for it. Yeah.
Oh, great. Was it me texting you to come to the screen? Oh, it was you.
Do you go by Emma Stone? No. Oh, shit, it is new.
Yeah, interesting. Yeah.

This is the second project with Yorgos?

Yes?

It was technically the third because we made a short film at the beginning of 2020.

And then, so, but it was, yes, it was the second following one.

This guy is just so brilliant.

Amazing.

We made another one in the meantime.

We made another one in New Orleans last year. No, really? Yeah, with Willem.
With Willem, yeah. Willem's in Poor Things.
Yeah, with Poor Things. So we've done two together.
And so for my sister, Tracy, Yorgos did The Favorite, The Lobster, just a bunch of great movies. Had to kill a sacred deer.
Incredible. Dog Tooth, which is...
Yeah. So Poor Things, so did you develop it? Did you find it? Did you just get an offer? How did that come to you? So Yorgos and I did The Favourite in 2017 and right as we were wrapping up The Favourite, he told me about this book that he and Tony McNamara, who was the writer of The Favourite, had optioned and they were working on adapting and he just told me the premise of.
And I was like, I beg of you, I have to do this with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so for the next few years, we worked on things and started kind of putting it all together. And he asked me to be a producer on it, which was amazing.
And so we kind of like assembled this team. And then at the end of 2021, why do I keep saying all the dates? Yeah, I don't know.
Because you're like Will. You have incredible recall on dates.
I do everything by date. Really? Month and year, yeah, yeah.
Me too. Everybody's birthdays.
Do you forget a birthday? Can you forget a birthday once it's Friday? I can forget a birthday, but if you say, like, hey, I can say, like, oh, yeah, it was that time of year that it was this month March of 2023 he knows a difference between April of 21 and March of 24 maybe I function similarly yeah but anyway so anyway so we made it we made it two years ago and um and yeah it's just it's it's uh it's probably my favorite thing I've ever gotten to do. Really? Yeah.
Wait, so you work all the time, constantly, it seems like, which is great, and everybody can't get enough of you. So when you go from set to set, other than your child, do you have something? How do you set it up so it's home? Or how do you set it up so it feels like, all right, I need to have at least this, this, and this in my trailer, or this, this, and this with me? What a fun question.
I'll tell you three things that always keep me company, no matter where I am. Coke? App.
Sorry? Big plate of Coke? Just, you gotta get through it. I'm obsessed with the idea that I'm on Coke just because I'm on cold medicine Jason you know just suffering through this on cold medicine she's here on her audience I have a broken I can't believe it I'm near death I know I can't believe it no I apples and peanut butter really every day for a.
No, apples and peanut butter. Really? Really? Every day for a snack, I have apples and peanut butter.
Every day I have a Starbucks coffee. Doesn't matter where I am.
Could be in the greatest coffee places in the world. Europe, wherever.
Doesn't matter. Find a Starbucks.
And what's your choice? A coconut misto. Coconut misto.
No embarrassing to say. What is it? A coconut what? Listen, they make you say Misto, which you know the Starbucks lingo where they make you say these things.
It's a venti coffee. Just a regular filter coffee.
It's a large. Drip coffee.
A large with steamed coconut milk. Okay.
And that's the Misto part? That's the Misto. That's what makes it a Misto.
So that's not a latte? It's not a latte. No, because it's not espresso.
So you have apple. By the way, I have peanut butter and rice cakes always.
Every day? Well, that's my treat. That's my snack.
That's your treat? Yeah, that's my snack. I feel like in a minute after.
Peanut butter and rice cake? Oh, I love that. That's a healthy treat.
It's not like you go and get all the Twizzlers from the... Why do you guys go with just the apple or just the rice cake? Why do you need to spread all the fatty nut butter? Peanut butter gives you a little hit of protein and a big hit of joy.
A lot of sugar. I like the peanut butter with the apples.
It's delicious. Sean, explain, not for Tracy, but for Jason, what joy is.
It's another kind of peanut butter. Not for Tracy.
Or no, that's Jiffy. Emma, like, when I...

You were so fucking phenomenal in The

Favorite, and you won for The Favorite, right? No.

Yes, she did. No.

Nominated? Yes, she did.

She was fantastic, though.

Thank you so much. Nominated.

Wait, but what was... Is that...
You won a nomination

is what I meant. Did you

really not win? I can't remember. You did win.
Not for the favorite, no. Which one did you win for? La La La.
Oh, that's right. La La La.
So I fucking love that movie too. God, you're so fucking good.
That's a truly embarrassing thing to have to sit here and say. No.
Not for that one. No, I want to know.
I asked. I want to know.
I want to know everything. But wait, the favorite was yours.

My mom says I'm always a winner.

Yeah.

And always her favorite.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

But was that,

because when I've seen that movie,

when I watched that movie,

I was like, oh my God,

this just looks like a colossal amount of work.

That movie, the favorite.

Like, it just looks so grand and so massive.

That's just because a lot of it was in that fisheye lens. That's what makes it look so grand.
All right. You know what I mean? That's a little trick of the trade.
That was in England, yes? That was in England. And La La Land was here in Los Angeles.
It was in LA. Yes.
Favorite is such a good movie. I just wanted to, apart from the work that, you know, these guys are so tired, but I, that movie was so good.
It was done. We'll be right back.
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And now, back to the show.

Was that one of the hardest things you've ever done?

What's the hardest one you've ever done?

Oh, God.

Physically, emotionally, both, whatever.

La La Land had a bunch of stuff in it. Oh, yeah.
You're going to learn the dance. The hardest thing I've ever done was on stage.
Yeah? By far. Sean loves stage stories.
I do. You know I do.
Well, I've only done one professional stage show. What Went Wrong? Like 10 years ago.
Oh, you want a What Went Wrong story? I want a bad theater story. But here's the, I did Cabaret.

Oh, that's right.

And I only did it for three and a half months, which is so short by stage terms.

But enough.

I thought, truly going into it, I was so beyond excited.

It was probably the greatest experience of my life for the same reason.

And I was like, oh, you just do it at night.

And then you do two shows a day on Wednesday and you do two on Saturday.

And then you're at home.

Your entire life is eaten.

And it is so hard.

You have to live like a monk.

Like there's nothing, or at least I did because I lose my voice and I just sing.

And it was like I've never experienced something that physically taxing as an actor.

It was unreal.

I'm sure.

That was the hardest.

And when you, but did anything go massively wrong? Do you have like any kind of night where you're just like, oh, shit, my voice, nothing came out when I sang? Oh, yeah. I mean, I had to take steroids multiple times.
Yeah, same. No, yeah, no heart attacks in the house, thank God.
But that's, there are a lot of those stories, but no, I just to add to my, you know, things that are wrong with me. You broke a bone.
I'm extremely blind. Blind, blind as a bet.
Okay. And I wear contacts for that, and they both popped out of my eyes while I was singing Maybe This Time.
Really? You must have really been reaching for a note. It cuts, I was really, yeah, I'm always reaching for those notes.
I'm not a singer per se. And the lights went dark and you have to, you know, go off in the blackout.
And I couldn't see a thing in the world. And I just went and like slammed it.
It was terrible. Getting off stage, not being able to see it all was terrifying.
And then couldn't find the contacts, right? They were on the floor. Couldn't find it.
But no, I always bring spares. I have to travel with spares.
Yeah. It's very important.
It would be great if you did the rest of the play with glasses on. It would have been great.
If you came back out with glasses. Yeah, all of it gives me so much anxiety.
But when you... I always had a fear, Sean, of getting hiccups on stage.
Yeah, I had that too. Oh my God, that's a great fear.
Have you had hiccups on stage? No, but I had one thing where I had like allergies and I could feel the post-nasal drip in the back. And it was right before I had to sing, what do you get when you fall in love? You know, with Chris and Sean? Yeah, sure.
And I was literally like, what? Oh, no. Like forever.
Oh, God. It was the worst.
Panic, tears, because I couldn't cough, but I had to act like I was everything else. I have a million years.
Okay, I'm about to tell you guys something that I think that you're not going to enjoy. I know Jason's not going to enjoy this.
Oh, no. What do you do when you get, I'm going to ask you guys, I'm going to go around to the panel here.
What do you guys do when you get the hiccups? Do you have like a surefire... I do.
I don't have one. I have a cure.
Emma, go first. I have a cure, but people tell me that I'm wrong, but not if you do it right, okay? Here's the thing.
Yeah, you don't scream at people, do you? This is the solve. Put your arm up above your head.
Just take one arm. Put it up above your head.
Well, just because I'm right-handed, so if you're left-handed, you can do it with your head. Drivers, don't do this.
Don't do it if you're driving. Now, take water.
And I'm talking like tiny sips. You go, swallow, swallow, swallow, swallow.
As you lower your arm slowly. Well, nothing's going to happen because look at all of us doing it like idiots.
We're all doing it. Well, we're just practicing.
Listeners, we're all doing it.

We're practicing.

I'm telling you,

it is 100% effective.

I feel incredible.

If you do it correctly.

Really?

I feel amazing.

What do you guys do?

Sean or Jay?

Nothing.

I wish I had something.

Nothing.

I take a deep breath.

Try this.

And I kind of let it,

feel it kind of go away

and then I take water

while I'm holding my breath.

It seems to work.

I've never told anybody,

I've never told anybody this.

This is absolutely true, and I can't believe I'm telling it. We're ready.
Anytime I get the hiccups, and I remember one time vividly, years ago our buddy Edgar Wright, we did this thing called Don't. which was like a, it was like a fake movie trailer between,

there was like a double bill,

like a Robert Rodriguez film or whatever.

And he made this fake trailer and I did the voice for it.

Anyway, I remember going to record the trailer voice

because I do,

don't even breathe,

don't even,

blah, blah, blah.

I did this whole thing, right?

It was in the West Village at this recording place.

And doing the thing,

and I'd had a soda, I think,

and I got the hiccups

because I was taking in so much air.

And I was like,

what the fuck?

This is what we learned it. And I was like, just give me a second.
I just got to, because I'm like hiccuping on, you know, trying to record. And I go into the bathroom.
Uh-oh. And I stick my finger down my throat, and I make myself gag and throw up a little bit.
Yeah. Gone.
Gone. I get it.
And I came back out and I finished. And that's what I do every time when I get the hiccups now.
I go, excuse me. I get it.
That is disgusting. Were you just gambling that that would work? There's a better way, Will.
I don't know. It works.
Do you fully throw up or do you just gag? Ew! Well, it depends on where I'm at. You know what I mean? Dep hate hiccups that much that you'll just make yourself puke? I hate hiccups.
I will make myself puke. Were you just gambling that this would work or was it something you kind of read about? I was just gambling.
I had no idea. I just did it.
Wow, that is... I did not know this.
You have a tattoo on your arm or your wrist or somewhere? My wrist. I want to see.
A very, very, very poorly done tattoo. Look at this.
Now this was supposed to be, I just want you to understand, this was based off of a drawing that was drawn with a pencil. It looks like bird feet.
Does that look like a pencil? Is it a cactus? It's bird feet and it bleeds out more and more every single year. I got it 13 years ago, and it just keeps spreading.
Spreading? In 20 years, this is just going to be... What kind of half-assed tattoo artist? Were you in a French prison or something? I went into just kind of a random tattoo place on 14th Street.
No. Yes.
Why didn't you consult with the sleeveless one he could have hooked you up with it with a great tattoo artist and now i've gone to to good tattoo artists and said can i get this lasered off and redone and they were like your skin is so thin there that it's probably just gonna look like you're burnt like it might be worse oh really so wait i don't know what to do and your mom got the same one my my dad, my brother. I mean, the story behind it is so special, but it was like, and theirs all look great, by the way.
Really? Because they all went to better tattoo people. And I'm the one who has to cover it up for work every day, and it's like raised up.
It's really. Don't you hang out with Thoreau just a little bit? Oh, I know Thoreau.
Yeah. Okay, so he could have hooked you up with somebody with maybe a better needle.
I didn't know him then. Yeah, yeah.
This was 2010. I love that your whole family has it, though.
Any thoughts on Justin? This was October of 2010, Will. You remember.
I love that. I love that.
By the way, I wasn't going to say it before, but, you know, when we shot The Rocker, it was June of 2007. Okay.
I know. That's so crazy.
I know you know. I know you know.
That is, yeah, Jason brought up a good point. Any thoughts on Thoreau? And by the way, this is a safe space.
Anything hurtful that you can think of? Another segment we're introducing. Well, you know, he suffers from eczema.
There we go. Does he really? That's why he doesn't wear sleeves.
Because he's proud. And he wants to show it.
That's right. No, that's not true.
Really? Where's his eczema? Is he a Sky Rizzy guy? I don't know if he really does suffer from eczema. It's just, you know, we've had a lot.
We've had skincare conversations, as I'm sure you can imagine. You know, we once put on his Wikipedia page that he cries when he orgasms.
It's true. Did someone take it off? He did.
He personally did. I guess he got an alert or something.
Yeah, Kimmel knows how to break into someone's Wikipedia page. The wrong person to know how to do it, too.
Will you guys put something on my Wikipedia page? Don't put that one. Put something different.
No, yeah, we'll put Jimmy's brain. We're going to put cries when Justin Theroux orgasms.
Please, please don't put that. Oh, it would be funny.
It would be funny, though. Can I ask about like early, because you have a brother, right? I have a younger brother.
You're close with your brother? Very, yeah. Oh, is he in the biz? It's just the two of us.
No.

No, he works at like a tech company.

And growing up, was he interested or no?

He was less like, you do that, I'm going to go over here.

Not at all.

He played football.

Yeah, where was home?

Where did you grow up?

Scottsdale, Arizona.

With the poop.

With the poop.

Remember?

With the poop. Remember earlier?

That was the same conversation.

Yeah.

How long have you been talking?

Remember from before? It was like 25. What did you say? What did you say? Earlier.
And good thoughts, good feelings about Arizona. Do you miss it out there? You still have family out there? Yeah, I still have family out there.
The thing about Arizona is it's so hot. It's so oppressively hot.

Yeah.

It's difficult to, you need to be built for that kind of heat.

And I'm not.

It's not a fun heat.

It's not a fun heat at all.

It's like 120 degrees daily.

We're going to end on, I wanted to ask you this because we're going to end on an industry business question.

I love a biz queue. I love the biz-distree.
I love the biz-distry. I love the heat.
I love the buzz. Yeah.
When you, you know, a lot of people who win an Oscar like you did for La La Land, they, you were amazing, so deserved. I loved that movie.
I loved you in it. Did you, a lot of people who win, sometimes it's known as the curse of death with some actors.
First of all, I should ask, are you guys locked? Before I give you these? Are you picture locked on Love Island? Yeah. Because you got the Oscar.
Great. But, a couple things.
Were it me? And it's just me. I want to try it a little harder.
I got some, I got some notes. Yeah.
how did you were you nervous did you have anxiety you're like oh my god this is so great I won the Oscar but did you feel like I don't know a lot of times some actors who win Oscars you kind of don't see them for a long like years and years and years did you have anxiety about like crap I won I won now, people are sick of me? Nope. Nobody felt that well.
No, not that I was. Who the fuck would, what kind of psycho? First thought is that.
Sean, why do you, okay, so. They must hate me now.
Sean, why did you tell us how you feel? Now I know how Sean felt. When you won the Tony, is that what you were saying? When you were walking up your stage to get the Tony? Check Sean off my list.
I know how he feels about Emma Stone. Sean, thanks for having me today.
That came out wrong. What I meant was, like, did you have anxiety about, like, I'm not going to work? People are, like...
People must think, like, oh, you made it. I left...
This was a very lucky situation because I had... I met Yorgos while we were filming La La Land and I left the day after the Oscars to go shoot The Favorite.
Oh, that's great. So it was kind of amazing because the next day I went right back to work and was back in.
Did you have time to renegotiate your deal on your way to location? Yes. So that was, I did delay my flight for a couple hours just to call, just to call my lawyer.
By the way, that was... Can we just reopen just the salary portion? A couple new deal points that I'd love to...
No, but by the way, that was a big compliment is what I know you're going to come up that way. I know, I'm completely fucking...
Okay, okay, okay. How many great, because you've been nominated, I'm sure, a million times for lots of great...
I think it's a million, yeah, yeah speeches? No. What? No.
I'll bet you do. No.
No, but I bet you give some thought, some respectful time and some thought to what you would say up there. You're not one of these ingrates that would just, if I win, I win.
I'll just go up there and wing it. I bet you've got some fun stuff that you said.
My dream is to have like a book, a coffee table book of people's unused acceptance speeches. That's a great idea.
That's a really good idea. That's a really good idea.
Right? Maybe you should start compiling that. It would have to be anonymous though, wouldn't it? Well.
Right? The people with the speeches? Yeah, because I guess it would be but then how do you do an anonymous acceptance speech? Everyone would know who it was. Like the people they're thanking.
What were you going to say for the rocker? If you had gotten up there for the rocker, who would you thank first? Probably just Will. Yeah.
Just Will. Thanks for being our guest today.
Thanks for having me. No, but you got nominated for La La Land, which you won You got nominated for The Favorite And you got nominated for The Birdman? Is it The Birdman? Yes And you had to work with Galifianakis Oh God, I know What a nightmare Is there a less talented guy In showbiz than Zach Galifianakis.
Oh, God, I know. What a fucking...
What a nightmare. Is there a less talented guy in showbiz than Zach Galifianakis? You know, from your lips to God's ears.
I know. I agree.
I couldn't agree more. He was so, so sweet.
Anyway, yeah. No, he really is.
What are you going to do for us tonight, and are you watching Golden Bachelor? No.

What's Golden Bachelor?

I love that answer.

I love that answer.

What is Golden Bachelor?

It's The Bachelor, but an older guy.

You should never know what it is, Emma Stone.

This is why you are you, because you don't know Golden Bachelors. I'm just out here breaking bones, getting sick, not watching Golden Bachelor.

Well, now I'm going to look it up and watch it.

Sean went through a phase where he was breaking bones, right? Yep. Early 20s, Chicago.
Hey, hey. Oh, God.
Hey. Emma, cool it, all right? Okay, okay.
Sorry, sorry about that. Sorry.
Emma Stone, we're going to let you go. We're going to let you heal.
We're going to let you get better. We're going to make you feel better.
I'm going to send some soup over. You don't need to send anything.

All right, good.

It'll be, okay, great.

I won't do that.

I just saved myself a call to my assistant.

So, uh...

Thank you guys for having me.

I'm sorry I was such a, you know...

You're the best.

You're like...

Incredibly fast hour.

Huge, huge, huge fan.

Huge fan.

You're the best.

Such a massive fan.

Very, very sweet.

You're such a... You're a...
Literally, you're a mega talent. Yeah, mega.
Yeah, true. Truly.
You guys. Emma.
Emma Stone. Thank you guys so much.
Thanks for having me. Yes.
All the best. Feel better.
Hey, hey, Emma, one thing, I want you to remember one thing. Yeah.
And I hope you've lived by this credo. You can always say this to any guy.
If you want to be my lover, first you got to get with my friends. Will? If you want to be my lover, you got to get with my friends.
Thank you. Thank you.
Is that a Spice Girls lyric? I will take that with me. Okay, got it.
You're welcome. You not knowing that that was a Spice Girls lyric is one of the more painful things.
Well, imagine what I thought, because I didn't know it was a lyric. I just thought he was just saying that stupid, crazy sentence.
No. Like, what? I was trying to connect with her.
Did you just call the Spice Girls stupid and crazy for their lyrics? Or not a lyric. If it was just this goodbye sentence for a podcast interview, it would not be good.
And this is where I log off. What, when James Cameron won the Academy Award for Best Director of Titanic, I had not seen the movie, but when he walks up on stage, he says, I'm king of the world.
Did you say you've never seen Titanic? At the time, I had not seen it. When I saw him go up on stage and say, I'm king of the world, I thought, oh no, what did he just say? I've never seen it at all.
Yeah. Oh my God.
I know. Because's He got a lot of homework to do Jason's listening to Wannabe by the Spice Girls Will you're watching Titanic And Sean Just get Ricky You know Fix your cat Get him a little Fix your cat Emma thank you for being here Thank you Bye honey Feel better Thank you Bye Bye bye Good night Sean you were guest.
She did it while she was sick. So nice for her to show up.
Sick. Sick as a dog.
This is worth, you know, when we do these late-night records, it's, you know, the stakes are high that it be a good guest and you nail it there. Well, by the way, for the record, it was a 4 p.m.
record, so when you say late-night, for most people, they have a different. Okay, but the other and this is a compliment to you JB not even a fucking I'm not there's no punchline she has a great work ethic like a lot of people I know who started young in who were young in as actors director whatever she has that same thing and you have that same thing which is she's sick blah blah blah I blah, blah.
In all the years I've done stuff with you, I've never known you to call in sick, not fucking once. Yeah.
Oh, there was plenty of times when I'd clear my day when it was 3 a.m. and I was still having fun.
Well, yeah, back in the day. Sorry, except for when you blew...
Back in the day, back in the day. Except for when you blew your colon out when we were doing that fight scene on Arrested Development.
You did. Well, you fought too hard.
You broke my colon. I know, that's true.
But anyway, she does have that great thing. She's always just, God, she's so good.
When you start listening off to stuff that she does and they're all so different, you're like, yeah, I missed it. When an actor has never sucked, that's something.
She's in that category. She's in that never sucked.
I always say John Goodman, number one. He's the first guy I always think of when I think has never sucked.
And she's in that category. There are few people who fall into that category, and she's one of them.
Yeah, she's incredible. I didn't get to ask her about, I want to talk more about La La Land, about how it's shot.
Get ready, Will. Next time, next time, next time.
Honestly, nobody better. Here it comes.
Who's got it? Yeah, well, I love Birdman, too, you know. Okay, here it comes.
Oh, you know what I also like? Do you ever see Bye Bye Birdie? I couldn't even do that. I couldn't even.
Of course you were going to do that. You're fired, Sean.
Bye Bye Birdie. Wait, what? Wait a second.
You can't just start saying. No, it's just, it's too.

You're too tired.

See, it's too late.

It's too late to even come up with a bye.

Well, I was going to say this.

I love that she got her name from the baby Spice

because she's such a fan of the Spice Girls.

Spice Girls.

That's good.

Spice Girls. Bye, everybody.

Bye, everybody.

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