"Kristen Wiig"

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Speaker 2 Hey, Will.

Speaker 4 Good morning. I'm very excited for today's episode.

Speaker 2 Good morning, Jason. It is great to be here with you.

Speaker 4 Hey, Will 2.0, where's Mr. Arnett?

Speaker 2 It's me, your friend, Will, for many years.

Speaker 4 And I just wanted to say from the bottom of my heart, I wish you all the best I want you to speak to your your master about trying to make your voice a little bit more realistic because it would be helpful like when he's late like I guess today we could actually use you on the podcast but you sound a little mechanical that this is me Will I'm here to just

Speaker 2 Jason,

Speaker 2 what happened?

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I was stuck inside the virtual meeting.

Speaker 2 Did you sleep with your window open last night? Can we just get down? Can we just start the old new Smartless? Let's do it. Welcome to Smartless.
Smart.

Speaker 2 Smart.

Speaker 2 Let's.

Speaker 2 Smart.

Speaker 2 Let's.

Speaker 2 Who are you playing with today? Don't worry about it.

Speaker 4 Hey, Sean. Hey, guys.

Speaker 2 What's going on? Are you in the game with Harry and those guys?

Speaker 4 I'm playing with some real respectable folks. that's why your inbox is empty who are you playing with today that's not me um

Speaker 4 their names you want their names you don't know these oh i can bleep them out yeah go ahead first name james uh first name nick and then guest of james and uh

Speaker 2 who

Speaker 2 you don't need to worry about shall i be directing my in i don't think you've played with him but he did he did invite me Otherwise, I would have invited you. Okay.

Speaker 4 But let's play next week, please. Sean, you want to come

Speaker 4 play some golf with us next week? You want to dork out with us out there? You got to wear one of these funny shirts. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
I just came from the range.

Speaker 2 No, did you really? Yeah, I dropped off Abel and then I just went and got a quick hour of work. Just working.

Speaker 4 Does Archie, what would you drop off Archie? Is he homeschooling?

Speaker 2 Yes, I drop him off first at the bus, and then Abel's last. That's right there.

Speaker 4 Does Archie ever get pissed off that Abel gets a door-to-door and Archie gets dropped at the RTD station?

Speaker 2 He does not. What's RTD?

Speaker 4 Rapid Transit District, isn't it? RTD?

Speaker 2 Boy, that fell apart quick. Yeah, well, but guess what?

Speaker 4 Who here has ridden a public bus?

Speaker 2 I used to do it all the time. What are you talking about? Me.

Speaker 4 I don't need the face, Will. Just answer it.

Speaker 4 I used to ride it a lot going to work. You know that story.

Speaker 2 Oh, man. You know, the medal ceremony is coming up, so we'll have to jot that down.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 Who's ridden the bus lately?

Speaker 2 By the the way, for Jason, a bus is a Challenger 300. Anything below that, he considers a bus.

Speaker 2 An Airbus.

Speaker 4 Hey, have you guys ever ridden a subway here in Los Angeles? Yeah, California.

Speaker 2 I will not. No, I have not.
Have you? I have.

Speaker 2 It freaks me out too much. I'm a big subway guy, but not here.
Why? Because of the earthquakes? Yeah. Yes.
I don't know. And also, it doesn't really go to areas.

Speaker 2 It goes from Hollywood to downtown. Wait, do they make a bigger drink than that?

Speaker 2 Was that it? That's the Max? It's the Trente. Wait, why did you take a subway, Jay?

Speaker 4 I'm glad you asked. It was the best way for me to get to the

Speaker 4 start of the Los Angeles marathon, Sean.

Speaker 2 When was that?

Speaker 4 That was a lot of, you're a fat bastard now.

Speaker 4 This was

Speaker 4 a good 10 years ago.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't need to take it because earthquakes happen underground and the subway's underground.
So I don't need to go near that. Right.

Speaker 2 How much chafing did you have on the marathon?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm glad you asked that too. You know what they have there?

Speaker 4 If you run the marathon, any marathon, I think, you know, you will get some hot spots. And so

Speaker 2 you can swipe some goo.

Speaker 2 Go ahead.

Speaker 4 Let's jump ahead in the story.

Speaker 2 Fuck. So they've got the...
It's longer. I mean, I'm setting it up.

Speaker 4 It's pretty good.

Speaker 2 They have there.

Speaker 2 You know what they have? Just get it.

Speaker 4 I'm not Canadian. I'm not Canadian.

Speaker 2 They have there.

Speaker 4 So they've got tables.

Speaker 4 They've got tables of water, tables of Gatorade, and they've got a cardboard

Speaker 4 wall that a person holds up

Speaker 4 with a big patty of Vaseline on it. And this patty is like the size of a,

Speaker 4 I don't know, a large cake. And as you go by it, you're supposed to, yeah, as you said, well, swipe with two fingers the goo and then start hitting your hotspots without ever breaking a stride.

Speaker 4 And you know where these hotspots are. And so if you come to the second Vaseline cake or third or fourth or fifth, you know those two fingers have already traveled, you know,

Speaker 2 at the last one.

Speaker 4 So it's just, it becomes progressively more disgusting, but you have to balance that against the pain.

Speaker 2 I mean, obviously, insert joke here, Sean Mikonos, and swiping Vaseline. And I don't want to say that.
I mean, I was like, I'm just going to give you the bare bones of it. You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 I think there it's just buckets of olive oil, right?

Speaker 2 Wait, Will, have you ever ran a marathon? No, I've done a half marathon. That was rhetorical, Will.
Sean, you? No. Again, I can't even not really.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you did do a half marathon, Willie? Yeah, I did. Yeah.

Speaker 2 My brother does that shit all the time, and he'll just. I'm sure he does.

Speaker 4 I've seen him in clothes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he'll do a lot of like, you know, he'll be out for dinner and drinks, and he'll be like, I'll be like, I'm tired. He's like, me too.
He's like, I did a half marathon this morning. This morning?

Speaker 2 What are you talking about? Yeah, he's one of those.

Speaker 4 I'll tell you what, running is decent, decent but if you you're not you if you think you're in shape try swimming swimming is i can't swim a real test i can't swim at all one time i was at this like a public pool with a friend of mine when i was a kid

Speaker 2 keep it clean keep it clean and i was in a the deep end and he left me and i painted wait what's under me this is this feels like a fish

Speaker 2 Sean, Sean, yeah, I know you can't swim, you know, because just recently he emptied his pool and filled it with Skittles.

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's like, fuck it. I love, what do I, I hate swimming and I love Skittles.

Speaker 2 Wait, you know what's so funny?

Speaker 2 I just had this image.

Speaker 2 of uh that and i thought that's not a bad idea it's not it does seem really satisfying the slidiness of it just jumping and swimming with your mouth open through it sure sure i gotta say yeah that i could see you doing that.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 also not blaming you and being like, you know what? It makes sense.

Speaker 2 I did panic once when I was with that, with my friend when I was a kid, Tim. And he left me and it was like, it was a lake.
It wasn't a pool. It was a lake.
And there was like this

Speaker 2 little floating dock that a lot of people could sit on. And so we swam out to it, but I didn't have enough breath or energy or, you know, whatever to swim back strength.

Speaker 2 Well, because one of your hands was holding a cheeseburger. So it's hard to swim with one.

Speaker 2 And you were like, Tim, Tim. I went,

Speaker 2 don't get my burger wet. You're getting the bum wet.
I remember one time I was at Sean's house years ago, Sean.

Speaker 2 You remember when I was staying there up in your little, in your garage, above your garage? And I went to the pool. You stayed at my house, too.
What's new?

Speaker 2 Get a place. No, I, and it was, those were early days, you know, and it was fun.
That's when we used to all, nobody had kids. And I could just, Sean was like, come stay.
I was like, great.

Speaker 2 How's a month sound? Yeah. And

Speaker 2 it was. And I would go in and use the pool.
And Sean, I remember you being like, nobody, you're the only person who's using this pool. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Ricky. Ricky jumps in there to wash his coat every once in a while, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, for sure. Scotty's like, hey, let me introduce you to outside, Sean.
Look at this pool. And I was like, I never go in at any time.
Wait, does Ricky go in the pool or not?

Speaker 2 No, I want to try to get him to go in, but

Speaker 2 then he'd track all the water in the house. And I just want to.

Speaker 2 What is he, a retriever or a

Speaker 2 golden doodle? He's a golden retriever slash break. Once he gets in, he'll never.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 They're great swimmers.

Speaker 2 Yeah. All right, sorry.

Speaker 4 I'm hearing your inhale.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 4 It doesn't sound like you're in a super patient mood, and that's unfortunate because

Speaker 4 I know I like to.

Speaker 2 You mean Sean?

Speaker 4 No, no, you. I heard your deep breath.

Speaker 2 I got nowhere to be, as you know. I want to play golf today, but I wasn't invited.
Go ahead, Jason.

Speaker 4 Well,

Speaker 4 total respect to our next guest. I know she would agree.
This is a bit of a roll of the dice.

Speaker 4 For starters, English is not her first language or her second, actually. So ask your questions clearly and simply.
I'm obviously speaking to myself here.

Speaker 4 This woman, it's fascinating. I'm telling you, it's worth it.
She was born in Brazil, specifically in the Amazon basin.

Speaker 4 Incredibly, she did not have her first experience with electricity until she left the country on her 18th birthday.

Speaker 2 No way.

Speaker 4 She attended SMU in Dallas, Texas, while living with her host family, and she became one of the first foreign-born Dallas cowboy cheerleaders.

Speaker 4 She later found herself in New York City at Juilliard, no less,

Speaker 4 parlaying her sideline dancing skills into an impressive string of featured parts in their world-famous ballet program.

Speaker 4 She has since returned to the lush canopy of her birthplace to help bring music and dance and ideas for renewable energy to this underdeveloped and muffin-misunderstood. Tori Aikman.

Speaker 2 Here to share her remarkable life thus far

Speaker 4 is the very shy, very nervous, special guest with one of the most unique names you're ever going to hear. Please welcome kristen middle name i'm not wearing uh last name wig

Speaker 4 yeah did you guys have any idea about her history

Speaker 2 how because i don't talk about it we do a lot of research so oh i i mean i i was literally i was listening just like What? Yeah. A wig.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 I guess Jason has now gone on a morning gummy now, too. Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, no, I was still pretty high off last night's.

Speaker 4 But

Speaker 2 Kristen, what's the first thing you did when you discovered electricity? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It just turned it on and off.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there she is. Just turned things on, left them on.
That was talkable. You guys,

Speaker 2 I don't know what to say. Hi, guys.

Speaker 2 It's so good to see you.

Speaker 3 I'm so happy to see you guys. And I love your podcast, and I listen to it all the time.

Speaker 2 Thank you. What are your earrings? What are those earrings?

Speaker 3 Well, I know it's kind of hard to see because I didn't know.

Speaker 2 Super hard to see.

Speaker 3 I forgot I was wearing these, but they're just these little pink little, I don't know, little upsets.

Speaker 2 Magnets?

Speaker 2 They're magnets.

Speaker 2 She's always wearing magnets. They look like prescription bottles or something.
Yes.

Speaker 4 They're stuck to each other.

Speaker 2 Yes, they are.

Speaker 2 Well, welcome, welcome, welcome. Where do we find you today?

Speaker 4 Are we on the East Coast?

Speaker 3 I'm in Los Angeles.

Speaker 3 I'm on the West Coast.

Speaker 4 Is that full time for you or do you have, you still have a place in New York?

Speaker 3 No, I don't have a place in New York.

Speaker 2 Do you wish you still had a place in New York?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I do. I do.

Speaker 2 You miss it.

Speaker 3 I do. I miss it.

Speaker 2 Yeah. What part?

Speaker 3 What parts?

Speaker 3 What part do I?

Speaker 3 I just miss the, it's just such a different life. Your days are so different.
Every, everything's different from right.

Speaker 4 You know, and you're meeting people in various industries, not just one.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You're hanging out with doctors.

Speaker 3 I hung out with so many doctors.

Speaker 2 I remember when you were in SNL, Wiggs dressing was always filled with doctors. Filled with doctors.
And I would make them wear wear their scrubs because I was like, I want people to know.

Speaker 2 Oh my gosh. Free exams.
Free exams on that.

Speaker 4 You did not, you did not, well, after, so after you left the Amazon, after Dallas, where did you spend most of your time growing up?

Speaker 3 Well, I lived in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, when I was a very young

Speaker 2 girl.

Speaker 3 And then Rochester, New York.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, but what's the name of the place? Oh, here it is. Hang on.
I got it here on my WikiPage.

Speaker 3 Oh, where I was born?

Speaker 4 Canandiaga?

Speaker 3 Canandaigua. That's where I was born.
Where's that?

Speaker 3 That's upstate New York. Yes, it's a fingerleg.

Speaker 2 It's a finger leg. Yeah, it's a fingerleg.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 2 Well, I knew you would know that. Yes.

Speaker 2 Isn't that where they make finger sandwiches, guys?

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 2 And just fingers.

Speaker 2 That's where all their prosthetic fingers are made. Wow.

Speaker 3 That's what my doctor friends told me.

Speaker 4 Major industry.

Speaker 2 Thanks, everybody from that town.

Speaker 2 Wow. Rochester, New York, home of Xerox.

Speaker 3 Yes, and Kodak.

Speaker 2 And Kodak. Oh, gosh.

Speaker 2 So then going to the city to work was like you grew up in New York. So there.
It's a long way.

Speaker 3 Well, it was far.

Speaker 3 I only went to New York City one time.

Speaker 2 But I mean, you were there. Like, it's not like you grew up on the West Coast and then all of a sudden started working.

Speaker 2 It wasn't a culture shock. That's why.

Speaker 4 She did find her way out to Los Angeles, Sean, where she

Speaker 2 was.

Speaker 2 She's got Wikipedia. Yeah, no, look.
I got stuff highlighted here.

Speaker 4 Yeah, well,

Speaker 4 we went into

Speaker 4 the Groundlings program out there in Los Angeles.

Speaker 4 Did we meet Annie Mumelo out there, maybe?

Speaker 2 Yes, we did.

Speaker 4 We started our friendship with her there.

Speaker 2 Tell Tracy who Annie is.

Speaker 4 Kristen, please.

Speaker 3 Oh, she is my...

Speaker 2 Oh, okay, good.

Speaker 3 Because I was about to.

Speaker 3 She's my writing partner, good friend, my creative wife.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 You guys wrote Bride Face together. Yes, we did.
And that's true. And also.
And other things, The Trip, The Two Gals.

Speaker 3 Barb and Starr. Go to Vista.

Speaker 2 There she is. Yep.

Speaker 4 Yep. Very, very funny.
Very good.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 4 So we're out there in Los Angeles. We're at Groundlings.
And

Speaker 4 now we've had some of your colleagues on the show. And

Speaker 4 it seems like Groundlings is a bit of a feeder program for SNL. Is that fair?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, a lot of people have come from there. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Is that where your SNL audition kind of came from, or was it after you left there? And

Speaker 3 no, I was, I was, I think I had just gotten into into the main company when the audition happened.

Speaker 4 And was that a fairly stress-free

Speaker 4 situation or was it?

Speaker 3 No, it was probably to this day the most nervous I've ever been in my life because I don't do stand-up. So being on stage by myself and like, I never knew how to like go from one character to another.

Speaker 3 I'm like, do I do a spin?

Speaker 3 I did that, by the way. I did that, by the way, when I auditioned for Mad TV a long time ago.
I think I like spun in between.

Speaker 4 So you thought that was the reset on characters.

Speaker 2 Turn around, and now I'm somebody.

Speaker 3 Because I didn't want them to be confused.

Speaker 2 Oh, look who it is now.

Speaker 2 Hey, can you spin the other way to get the other character? Oh, yeah, because I need to go back.

Speaker 4 Would you guys want to go back and see the other one?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you have to see.

Speaker 4 So, were they not clear about how to do the audition? Were they pretty?

Speaker 3 It was like you, you

Speaker 3 have five minutes. Please don't go over.

Speaker 3 I bought a stopwatch.

Speaker 3 And I, I mean, because I literally thought like the lights were going to

Speaker 2 go down.

Speaker 3 And I remember being in my hotel in New York and just doing it and being like, 503, got to do it again.

Speaker 3 But then some people would do it for like 10 minutes and I'd be watching like, hey, what?

Speaker 2 What gifts? Well, they didn't follow me. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So you just do a, you do a series of your favorite characters?

Speaker 3 Yeah, they just say do

Speaker 2 characters and any impressions you have.

Speaker 3 I auditioned twice, actually.

Speaker 2 Oh, really? I remember, like, how many years were you in Groundlings before you got the audition for us now?

Speaker 3 For the main company, months. Like, I,

Speaker 3 I mean, I was in the school for like a long time.

Speaker 2 No, no, but I meant like, how long were you part of the groundlings?

Speaker 3 Oh, a long time. Because some of the levels were like two here.
Wait, uh-oh, are you going to yell at Sean?

Speaker 2 Sean, should I just ask you for a second? No, Sean's had a few incidents in the last one, one on stage in Chicago a few months ago and whatever, where he's just completely doesn't know where he is.

Speaker 4 He's so busy thinking about his next question, he doesn't hear me.

Speaker 2 I get so excited. I get so excited.
Look how excited we are. Christian.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 So, a couple of months, only a couple months on the list.

Speaker 3 I'm like, I don't even know if it was how many. I just know it was my first

Speaker 3 main show. I'm really bad with this.

Speaker 2 I was going to say, because

Speaker 2 when you first did The Target Lady on Saturday Night Live, which is one of my favorite things of all time,

Speaker 2 I think that was that one of your first sketches when the first season, that first episode that you were on?

Speaker 3 It wasn't the first episode.

Speaker 3 It was my first season, and that was

Speaker 3 a sketch that I did at the Ground Links.

Speaker 2 Ground links. Yeah, yeah.
For some reason, when I was watching it on TV, I was like, this looks like one of those brilliant things you see at Ground Links. And now it's on SNL.

Speaker 2 It just looked like an easy transfer of like, oh, of course this is going to work on Saturday Night Live. I just thought it was the funniest thing in the world.
Wow. Thanks, Sean.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 And we will be right back.

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Speaker 2 And back to the show.

Speaker 4 So we'll come back to the SNL stuff, but it clearly it gave you such a great, well-deserved exposure and lift into what you have been doing, you know, over the last number of years incredibly.

Speaker 4 Are you, what's your favorite part of this phase?

Speaker 4 Do you, do you, do you like that it's sort of, you get to go from job to job to job as opposed to one sort of, you know, place and family and group that you that you're with all year?

Speaker 2 Or?

Speaker 3 Ooh, I mean, yeah, they all have their pluses and you can find the great things about the one that you're not in. You know what I mean? Like with SNL, like I

Speaker 3 loved having that schedule and I mean, not so much the hours, but just having the family, the routine, and like just the solving of the puzzles between like dress and air.

Speaker 3 Like I loved, I love, love that. And it's a part of my brain, I feel like has atrophied since I've, since I've left.

Speaker 4 But it's what makes you such a great writer, I'll bet, yeah?

Speaker 3 Well,

Speaker 3 I definitely feel like improv is writing, really, especially when you have a partner that you have so much history with.

Speaker 3 But now, like, yeah, there's more stability, and I can, you know, go to the dentist.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, exactly. And you can have a personal life.

Speaker 3 And so that's nice too. So it's, it's kind of like, you know, what you don't have, you miss, but I'm, I'm very happy right now.

Speaker 4 What's your favorite part about, about, about personal life now?

Speaker 4 Like,

Speaker 4 what do you, do you you love doing nothing? Do you love traveling? Do you love

Speaker 2 what

Speaker 4 at home is your favorite?

Speaker 2 What fills you out? Oh, wow, guys. No, this is worrying.
We're incredible journalists.

Speaker 2 What makes you tick? What makes you out of bed?

Speaker 2 What gets you out of bed in the morning, huh? Tell us about what makes you tick.

Speaker 3 Well, I have two kids now.

Speaker 2 Wow, so that gets me out of bed.

Speaker 4 You're not getting anywhere on this.

Speaker 2 You know what's so good? Yes, but Wikipedia is out your main.

Speaker 2 Wait, here's the thing. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wig, you've got two kids? Yeah. Yes.
See, now, see, this is the thing I was going to say.

Speaker 2 I don't, like, I just found that out, like, I don't know, a few weeks ago. Is that on? Because you're very strategic in the most respectful way about popping up here and popping up here.

Speaker 2 No, you don't do that. Like, you're, it's very cool how you kind of keep that separate.
And is that on purpose that you do that? Because I didn't know you had kids either.

Speaker 3 Well, I have twins. I have a boy and a girl

Speaker 3 via surrogate.

Speaker 2 How old?

Speaker 3 And they are two and a half.

Speaker 2 Amazing. That's good.

Speaker 3 It's the best, you know, everyone says it's the best, hardest. Oh, but this age.
I mean, well, they are getting into like, you know, the no phase.

Speaker 4 Okay, so then would you, it sounds like you would be in agreement with me that a lot of stuff before too is, I'm not going to say it's garbage, but

Speaker 2 it ain't as good.

Speaker 4 I would never say it's garbage, but it's not as good as it is now.

Speaker 2 It's not garbage.

Speaker 4 In comparison to now.

Speaker 3 A different.

Speaker 2 It's different. It's yeah.
I'm gonna stand up here and just Jason always he just wants somebody to ride shotgun with him in the car. He doesn't want to have to actually fucking do anything.

Speaker 2 Wig, wait, wait a second. Wait, yes.
Jason, first of all, sorry, let me just admonish Bateman. That's part of life, you dick.
Yeah, okay, so

Speaker 2 they can hear this.

Speaker 2 I know, but Wig, you have two two and a half years. I didn't even know you were married.

Speaker 3 Yes. Well, it was like a quick

Speaker 2 COVID Zoom marriage.

Speaker 2 You got married on Zoom while you had COVID?

Speaker 3 No, it's not like he was on Zoom.

Speaker 2 We were together. That would be weird.

Speaker 2 You met him on Zoom and you've never met in person.

Speaker 3 And we've never met. No, but he is.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 2 is he a show busy?

Speaker 3 He does act, yes, and he writes, and he's an amazing photographer.

Speaker 2 And he's great. Oh, he's got it all, does he?

Speaker 4 Hang on a second.

Speaker 2 We'll decide that.

Speaker 3 I know. There's a lot.
Because if you didn't know I had kids, I feel like there's there's a lot to unpack here. There's a lot to unpack.

Speaker 4 You've been with Mr. Wonderful for how long?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Six and a half years?

Speaker 2 So it's sticking. It's sticking well.
He's amazing. Yeah, he's great.

Speaker 4 How is he as a dad? And we won't tell him what you say.

Speaker 3 No, he won't listen to this.

Speaker 3 He's incredible. He's amazing.
I'm truly.

Speaker 4 What do you think your blind spot might be? Me? Yeah, as a mother.

Speaker 2 What could you

Speaker 4 like swaddling? I guess they're out of swaddles.

Speaker 2 Don't swaddle a sweet. I told you.

Speaker 2 He doesn't know anything.

Speaker 2 I try.

Speaker 4 I spent a lot of time out of the house.

Speaker 2 He's been out of the house for a long time. He's shooting or playing golf.
I mean, you know, it's so embarrassing. I realized the other day, somebody asked me what my blind spot is.

Speaker 2 I said, blind spots. Obviously.
I mean, like, that's smart. You know?

Speaker 3 It's just the parts you can't see, I guess.

Speaker 2 Wait, Kristen,

Speaker 2 is there stuff that you used to do as a kid that your parents hated that you're like now seeing your kids do or anything like that like you're trying to stop them from like oh wait what they catch from you well i mean when they get older i hope they're different because i i think i gave my parents lots of mini heart attacks uh doing what

Speaker 3 uh just jumping off the roof yeah yeah i i think uh

Speaker 3 after my parents got divorced when i was like nine

Speaker 2 and maybe that's where to go guys through through well yeah so hold on let me just um yeah try it out

Speaker 4 putting it together. We're doing a comedy of ourselves.

Speaker 2 I know, right?

Speaker 3 You can cut the divorce thing if you want this to stay.

Speaker 4 Anyway, yeah. So you were a little bit of a challenge at night.

Speaker 2 I was. No, I think through

Speaker 3 high school, I think I got in, you know, trouble a lot and stuff like that.

Speaker 4 Were there brothers and sisters?

Speaker 3 I have a brother. Yes.

Speaker 2 Was he a problem?

Speaker 2 No, not really.

Speaker 2 You were the youngest.

Speaker 3 Yes, I was the youngest. And I have

Speaker 3 had two steps and steps on my mom's side and those

Speaker 2 chocolate chakawea where was it yeah uh canada can a dayqua but i'm gonna say i was from chakawea because i think that's now uh

Speaker 4 did anything happen aside from the pain and tragedy of that uh divorce at nine that that that steered you towards you got divorced at nine

Speaker 4 um right when i discovered electricity was there was there was there something that steered you towards comedy what did were one of those parents of yours funny?

Speaker 2 My dad. Yeah.

Speaker 3 My dad is very funny.

Speaker 2 Tell us some of the funny stuff he would do, Chris.

Speaker 3 Oh, well, I mean, he's just like in a dad way. He just like, you know, puns and like, he's just a funny,

Speaker 3 I mean, I always knew he was funny. And then I would meet people that knew him when he was younger.
And everyone just always said, oh, your dad, you know, such a funny guy. And

Speaker 4 I'll bet he was pretty dry, right?

Speaker 2 He's very dry.

Speaker 3 He's very dry. And he introduced me to like

Speaker 3 Abbott and Costello and Martin and Lewis movies.

Speaker 2 And like, we would just watch those whole. He's a hundred and

Speaker 2 still.

Speaker 2 He introduced me. This is Abbott.
This is just Costello.

Speaker 2 He introduced me to them as people. Yes.

Speaker 2 All right. All right.
So, so then

Speaker 2 who's on Kristen? Where's on Kristen? Where's it?

Speaker 2 Who's on?

Speaker 2 So stupid. Nice to meet you.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 4 So then, so then was-he's very funny. All right.
So then you're out in

Speaker 4 the groundlings, you get SNL, you're there, you're in that incredible machine there and incredible success. And then you get spit out into this great career.

Speaker 4 Was there a big transition you had to make to what being on a set was like on a movie or

Speaker 4 on a television show versus what you were really used to on SNL? Like, do you mind that sort of slower pace and that kind of vagabond living?

Speaker 2 And,

Speaker 4 you know, now that you've got kids and a husband, you know, you, can you, can you travel as much?

Speaker 3 I don't like to.

Speaker 3 I mean, it's obviously necessary for certain jobs, but it's so hard.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So do they all go with you?

Speaker 3 They have gone with me.

Speaker 3 I haven't worked that much since they've been born, but I

Speaker 3 do look at.

Speaker 3 my

Speaker 3 jobs differently. I'm like, where does it shoot and how long and can they go and will it be fun for them? Because I don't like being away.

Speaker 2 I know, right?

Speaker 4 We all have a nice multicam sitcom just down the street in Burbank.

Speaker 2 Just down the street. What if you were like, I can't get away? I can't wait to get away from them.

Speaker 2 That's just the complete opposite. Are you trying to do a Bateman right now? I am.

Speaker 2 I remember, Kristen, I remember when Bridesmaid came out that first weekend, I was in

Speaker 2 Atlanta shooting the three Stooges. Hold for applause.
Hold for applause. I go see Bridesmaid's question by myself, and uh, I emailed Kristen right when I got out.

Speaker 2 I was like, Oh my god, it was so fun. It was so she's like, and you email me, you're like, Really? Thank you.
Like, it was so, nobody knew that it was going to become what it did.

Speaker 2 And then, but it was so cool to have seen it on opening weekend. I just thought, I thought it was so neat.
Oh, yeah, thank you.

Speaker 2 It was such, so, so unsurprising that it was so good and that you were so good.

Speaker 2 I mean, you're, I mean, that's one of those movies that's when it's on the when it's on the guide, you click it every single time. Thank you.
Every time. And I'm like, thank you.
I laughed so hard.

Speaker 3 Thanks. Well, because, and Annie always tells a story that we like got a call after opening weekend, just sort of like,

Speaker 3 holy shit. Sorry.
No. Really? It was like, yeah, it was like, sorry.
Cause it didn't fully open. No, yeah.

Speaker 2 And we were like, well, we tried. Oh, no.
No way.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
We did not.

Speaker 4 Was there like a like a hurricane on the East Coast or some garbage like that?

Speaker 3 No, I think it just, I think it was just maybe word of mouth or something. I, I, that people started seeing it later, but um,

Speaker 3 in the beginning, you just, you know how it is when it, you're just like, what's, it's not really like that now, but it was like, what's that opening weekend?

Speaker 2 Did you, did you know Paul Fig before that? Paul Fig's the director.

Speaker 3 I did because I had

Speaker 3 like two lines in the movie Unaccompanied Minors, which was my first movie, I think.

Speaker 2 Was it really? That was your first?

Speaker 3 I think so.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 4 So on SNL, Kristen,

Speaker 4 guests, guests on s nl they run the gamut do they not

Speaker 4 what would what would

Speaker 4 how would you how would you describe a great guest and then how would you describe a uh not so great guest qualities

Speaker 3 Someone who,

Speaker 3 it's kind of just the opposite, someone who really wants to be there.

Speaker 3 And sometimes people maybe feel like they have to or because they have like press or something. For the most part, people want to be there.

Speaker 3 But I think just the people that are that are game and like, yes, let's do it. And where do you want me? And, and

Speaker 3 people that don't come in and try to just like produce everything themselves. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Are there other personalities that come in and be like, no, this is how I work? This is, and that's probably counterproductive to how it runs.

Speaker 3 And it's hard to go in and fully, you know, just be like, okay, I trust you.

Speaker 4 And be a guest as opposed to a host.

Speaker 3 But when you're a cast member,

Speaker 3 writer, it's just like your job is to take care of the host and like make them look good and

Speaker 3 support them, you know?

Speaker 2 I remember hearing hilarious stories. Amy would come back with like,

Speaker 2 you know, host stories like, this person took off their shirt.

Speaker 2 I know who she's talking about. I mean, with their shirt off.
Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Wait.

Speaker 2 As a bit or like... Not as a bit.
Not as a bit. No, no, no, no.
Just out of comfort.

Speaker 3 I mean, you really do get to know people when they come on the show. Also, because you don't get to see actors, musicians,

Speaker 2 sports, sports people.

Speaker 3 You don't get to see them nervous or out of their comfort zone. And to have someone like, is this okay? And you're just like, oh my God, you're a freaking legend.

Speaker 2 Are you kidding?

Speaker 3 Yeah, but it's so cool because they do,

Speaker 3 you see this

Speaker 3 vulnerability. It's like a transformation through, you know, Monday through Saturday.
And they're just like, oh my God, like, I just had to let go, you know?

Speaker 2 Did you ever have one of those moments where you go, holy shit, like where you kind of were in yourself and you were just feeling it and you were just for the first time, you kind of go like, I can't believe I'm doing this scene with so-and-so, and then it's going like that.

Speaker 2 Did you have every

Speaker 3 show for seven years? Yes. And I think that's like,

Speaker 3 it's, it, it truly is like the best job if you're going to do something like that. And you're living in New York.

Speaker 3 And I feel like, and I always said like the moment, because you know how it is there it's like a it's a different culture and you're always you never know what the show is going to be you don't quite feel like settled and I always said like the moment I feel comfortable here is like the moment that I should leave yeah so it was never lost on you all these cool people that were coming through there and these musicians and and because every week you'd be like oh my god I mean Will you know you would you drew there and like you'd just be like wait right you'd come off from a sketch and Lauren's like the Steven Spielberg's watching the show I was like hello and then you're changing and you're just like where what is happening?

Speaker 2 What always struck me was on Wednesday, especially on Wednesdays after reading through, like going and meeting up with you guys or whatever and going for a drink or whatever.

Speaker 2 And just how it didn't matter how long you were there. And it didn't matter if, you know,

Speaker 2 where you were in terms of seniority on the show too, based on how long you'd been doing the show. Everybody, there was always that tension of like, fuck, that thing.
It didn't go great.

Speaker 2 It's not going to get picked or that thing didn't get picked. And I'm kind of pissed off.
And I kind of like, I've had it. I didn't have a great show last week.
I wish this thing had gone this week.

Speaker 2 And it always struck me how it just never stops. It never goes away, no matter who you are.
Yeah. You know? Yeah.
Which is probably good, right?

Speaker 4 It keeps you working hard. You never take anything for granted, right? There's like a healthy competition there.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 3 I don't even know if like, we didn't really have like a super competitive group when I was there.

Speaker 4 But it was really, I mean, baked into it is only the best sketches make it that week.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And if you're, if that sketch goes, maybe this one won't because maybe you, maybe they're similar, or maybe, but it's like, oh, maybe you can do it another time.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 I just feel like also if something doesn't work, like, I don't want to do it.

Speaker 3 I'd rather not be in stuff.

Speaker 4 Now, do you see, do you see either one of those two twins of yours going into the, is anyone, either one of them seem funny or

Speaker 4 prone to the spotlight?

Speaker 3 If anyone, my daughter, but

Speaker 3 it's probably too early to tell. Yes.
She's

Speaker 3 some funny things.

Speaker 2 Yes. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 She does some bits. And I try sometimes with like voices and sometimes they're just like, what?

Speaker 4 To try to get her going.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but they don't think I'm funny.

Speaker 2 Don't you have to like, hey, you guys with kids, don't you have to like apply for like

Speaker 2 preschool like now like isn't it hard to get into schools or something you have to start now? I can pay out applications.

Speaker 4 Are you starting to sweat that, Kristen, or is that still like a year away looking for preschools and kindergartens?

Speaker 3 I mean, they're in, they're in like a little preschool now, uh,

Speaker 3 uh, which I love. It's amazing.
Um,

Speaker 2 I haven't really thought about it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's, it's, it starts to get it.

Speaker 2 I know, I guess I should, but like, part of me is just like, No, I think fucking is the best way to go and just kind of roll the dice in general.

Speaker 3 It's such a stress. I just see so many people worried about it.
And I don't know.

Speaker 4 Hey, are you enjoying any

Speaker 4 shows with your kids right now that are particularly, because I used to love watching kid shows with my kids when they were young enough to watch stuff I was interested in.

Speaker 4 Now they're watching, you know, really.

Speaker 2 They're watching a lot of

Speaker 2 stuff.

Speaker 4 Exactly.

Speaker 2 I can't, I can't.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no joke.

Speaker 3 My kids love euphoria.

Speaker 4 Mostly just for the music, though, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Sometimes I just turn off the sound and just let them watch what's happening.

Speaker 4 Are you watching anything with them that you particularly like or anything with Mr. Wonderful that you really like? Like

Speaker 4 comedy or drama.

Speaker 2 What's his name?

Speaker 3 Avi. His name's Avi.
Avi.

Speaker 2 Short for obvious? Avi.

Speaker 2 Ovi. You guys, this is all for.
This is my husband, Avi.

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Speaker 4 Are you not a fan of devices or media for children? Your

Speaker 2 finger painting and stuff like that?

Speaker 3 I mean, I don't want anything to be like,

Speaker 3 no, you could never, because then they'll, you know, like, like with sugar, you hear about people that never give their kids sugar and then they like hide food in their room.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 Um, uh, not me.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 3 yeah, not yet. We show them like, we just kind of started showing them videos of like

Speaker 2 trains. January.
It's just like, it's literally just like different trains. Sure.
Good for you.

Speaker 3 There's no like puppets or anything.

Speaker 2 Isn't it kind of fun though when you have kids that small? Isn't it a great excuse to do crafts? I love doing crafts. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hey, side, side note, Sean, can I hire you this summer to be a counselor over at my house? Because I've got three kids and a stepson. I like doing crafts and stuff.
I love crafts.

Speaker 3 Me too.

Speaker 2 It's such a great excuse. Oh, God, I'd love to see you do some crafts.

Speaker 4 Do you have a craft room, Sean? Do you have like a bunch of glue and shit around?

Speaker 2 No, but I like a dream of mine. He's got a bunch of glue.

Speaker 2 Can't you tell?

Speaker 2 Do you

Speaker 4 and you, but wait, I am curious. Do you have a guilty pleasure with Avi? Um, uh, any sort of reality shows? Or

Speaker 3 I love reality shows. He does not.

Speaker 2 He doesn't. What are you chewing up right now?

Speaker 3 I'm a Bravo girl.

Speaker 2 Wow, you are.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, my God.
You just missed it. That's why they're

Speaker 2 just made their goddamn day. Everybody's Bravo.
This clip is going to be played around the office.

Speaker 2 She's a bravo girl.

Speaker 3 They know. I'm a bath.

Speaker 2 Do they know?

Speaker 4 Have you gone on there and done some with Andy?

Speaker 2 What's his name? Andy Cohen, yeah. You've done Andy's.
What about Million Dollar Listing? Andy's a hoot.

Speaker 3 I do watch that one. That one seems a little more scripted for me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, it is. But that's what I kind of like about it.
I like the show. I don't watch the one.
I haven't watched the show. John, shots fired by Wig on that.
Wait, why?

Speaker 2 Are you like a producer on this show? No, no. I love that you watch those shows.
I know.

Speaker 2 The thing I like about Million Dollars Thing is that it's a little scripted. It's like a little awkward.
And so I'll get into that.

Speaker 3 It is. I mean, I watch it, so there's got to be something.
I love that you watch it.

Speaker 4 What's your favorite group of housewives?

Speaker 2 Ooh. Tough, tough choice.

Speaker 2 I love

Speaker 3 Potomac.

Speaker 2 Oh, I've not done that. And I love

Speaker 3 Beverly Hills.

Speaker 2 Uh-huh. Yeah.
New Jersey and Atlanta. No, oh, God bless.
So you're not, you're killing a lot of drinks.

Speaker 3 Yes, I do.

Speaker 2 Do you really? Yes. But I missed it.
What'd you say? I watched all all of it. What'd you say when she was in the middle of it?

Speaker 2 I can't believe that she really watches it. And she says she does.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. I love it.

Speaker 3 I think it's, it's like, I think when you do what we do sometimes, you cannot get as lost as we used to get when we watch movies and TV.

Speaker 3 And like, sometimes you're like, oh, did they shoot this at night? You know, like, you can't, you kind of like can't.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 And like, for something about reality, I turn my brain off.

Speaker 2 And I just, you know, it'd be such a great idea for you is to do like a parody movie or TV show like that. It'd be such a great idea for for you.
That would be good.

Speaker 4 Wait, Didden Stiller did one of those, didn't he? Real Life, I think.

Speaker 2 Wasn't that, was that what it was called? A long, long time ago?

Speaker 4 Or no, he loved Real Life that Charles Grodin did way, way, way back when, I think.

Speaker 2 Anyway, fascinating story. No, the story's really gripping.
It's kind of the solid.

Speaker 4 We need stuff to trim. I like to give stuff to the business.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wig, what kind of stuff? You've done so many different things.

Speaker 2 What now is the thing that will get you to leave home home and stop watching American Pie?

Speaker 2 Yeah, like what's going to get you out of the house to go and do, what's the thing that you go like, I really want to do aside from a fire. A fire.
Oh, yes.

Speaker 3 Well, I'm about to start shooting something in LA, a show.

Speaker 2 Making news right now.

Speaker 3 It's a show based on the book Mr. and Mrs.
American Pie. It takes place in 1969 in Palm Beach about

Speaker 3 this woman who's a little, it's very like Slim Aaron sort of vibe of the show. This woman who's a little unhinged, who's trying to like get into the high society of Palm Beach.
Um,

Speaker 3 uh, the title's in flux, so I'm not sure what I can say. Comedy or drama, it's comedy, it's like a dark

Speaker 3 comedy, yeah, yeah. But I'm really excited, and it's shooting in LA.

Speaker 2 That's so great.

Speaker 2 Who's doing that? Who's jumping on

Speaker 3 you? Oh, like cast-wise, yeah. Um, Laura Dern, love, love, incredible, uh, Allison Janey, also incredible, incredible.

Speaker 2 Lover.

Speaker 3 I'm not sure who else is official.

Speaker 2 Well, you don't know. You don't need anybody else.
Do you need us to help close any deals? I mean, we can get on with...

Speaker 2 We can get on with BA today and close this shit by

Speaker 4 B right now. Alice is tough to close Allison.
Is that what it is? Or is Laura being the situation?

Speaker 3 No, no, they're done.

Speaker 2 They're done.

Speaker 2 Jason, we're closing. Producers.

Speaker 2 Hey,

Speaker 2 call Laura up

Speaker 2 and go, hey, regarding your deal, how you dern.

Speaker 2 Nice. That's pretty shit.
So good.

Speaker 2 So, hey, you're Niri, Siri, co-Apple Business Affairs. One second, guys.
I'm going to fucking.

Speaker 4 There's no shooting in Florida.

Speaker 3 Well, no, we will. I think there's a little bit.
I think there's a little bit, but it's mostly here.

Speaker 4 How'd you get them to shoot in Los Angeles? Tracy, to shoot in Los Angeles is very expensive, especially when you consider there's huge tax incentives to shoot in a lot of other states.

Speaker 4 So how did, did you just say, listen, I got two kids I don't want to leave and a husband that is obvious really great.

Speaker 3 Yeah, kind of.

Speaker 3 I just, I needed to be here and they were game. So yeah.

Speaker 2 Hey, let me ask you this, Chris.

Speaker 2 Is there anything else you ever wanted to do? Like if you weren't doing this, like any other there's a lot of things. There's a lot of things.

Speaker 3 I mean, there's, I, I would

Speaker 3 love to

Speaker 2 direct maybe someday.

Speaker 3 Let's talk about that. Um, oh, yes, I would love to yes, talk to you about that.
Um, I, I don't know.

Speaker 2 Or just outside of the business.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. I would love to.
I mean, I majored in art.

Speaker 3 I love to paint and draw and I love writing music. And I

Speaker 2 love Sean over for some crafts. Sean.

Speaker 2 And I love doing crafts.

Speaker 2 You need to get over to Sean's house and split the day, half with the arts and crafts and half with the music. There you go.

Speaker 4 So the so the directing thing is something that you really want to do because

Speaker 3 I've always wanted to do it.

Speaker 3 it doesn't feel like it's the right time right now because I know it's so time consuming and I wouldn't find like the right thing but

Speaker 3 I think later in my life I would love I would love to to do that yeah this thing that you're doing with Apple it is a limited series

Speaker 3 or ongoing or a movie we'll see if they like it yeah it's supposed to be for a few years um but you know we have to see uh how it goes but hopefully are you writing are you writing as well i'm not no i'm not okay But you're in a position where you can

Speaker 4 not co-direct, but be talking. You have a seat at the table with the director.

Speaker 4 You're the boss, yeah?

Speaker 2 Ish?

Speaker 2 I mean.

Speaker 4 You'd never call yourself that.

Speaker 2 I'd call myself that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because we have such a good team, people.

Speaker 4 And also Laura is a producer as well, yes?

Speaker 3 Yes. She, her production company, she's the one that

Speaker 3 brought me into it and asked me to do it. So, yeah,

Speaker 4 she's the boss well you three guys are so have you have you three guys uh worked together before or know each other because oh i did work with laura for a second when i did uh i did a few episodes of last man on earth and she she did a couple and we were in it together i would put you three together in a second just based on knowing the three of you knowing that that would be you guys would you could you guys could travel together you know let alone work together yeah i'm so excited wait and and mcgruber's app that came out right the tv series yes yes god it's one of the funniest things.

Speaker 2 We'd love some Will Forte over there. Oh, my God.
I know. I listened to Will on your.

Speaker 2 He's just,

Speaker 3 I mean, all you can do is just kind of breathe out when you talk about Will.

Speaker 2 He's just, I mean, that's good. And his writing, too.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 3 I mean, I love watching him work, act, just be in the world. He's just the best.

Speaker 2 Wig and Forte and I did that brother psalm in years. Yeah, yes.
Oh, that was like my first like

Speaker 2 movie that I had.

Speaker 2 We laughed. Remember how much we laughed doing that?

Speaker 2 Wig used to do this bit. Wigg used to do this bit.
It was like to the music of one of those like toy. Do you remember for like little girls like toys? And it was like, my first alcohol.

Speaker 2 Do you remember that? Yes.

Speaker 3 I just remember we would do the dumbest thing. And I don't know if this is going to translate, but Will and I would just be like, oh my God, I'm so thirsty.
I just need something to drink.

Speaker 3 I'm so thirsty. Oh, hold on.

Speaker 2 Like we would just take the tiniest sip

Speaker 3 or say, I'm so starving. And we would get to food and just take the tiniest little bit.

Speaker 2 And it was the dumbest.

Speaker 3 We would do it all the time.

Speaker 2 I love this.

Speaker 2 It was so stupid.

Speaker 3 But, Will, you're one of those people, whenever I see or whenever I saw it, like SNL, like you were just such a funny, like, we would just laugh seeing each other.

Speaker 3 And you were just always such a funny thing.

Speaker 2 I don't get it.

Speaker 2 I don't see that.

Speaker 2 That doesn't happen with me anymore. I agree.

Speaker 2 I feel this. By the way, I feel the same way about you.
Every time I see you, I just want to play.

Speaker 2 That I get it.

Speaker 2 That I I understand.

Speaker 2 Wick, who makes you laugh in your life other than your kids and Avi, like in day-to-day, like your friend who... T to D.

Speaker 3 You call her. T to D.
Well, Annie. Annie Mumelo, to me, is just one of the funniest people that's ever walked the earth.

Speaker 2 I love that.

Speaker 4 Tell me you guys are cooking something up.

Speaker 3 Well, we are. We're writing a movie for Disney right now about the evil stepsisters,

Speaker 3 Cinderella.

Speaker 2 That's great. Oh, wow.
We're writing that. This is our first time.

Speaker 3 We're just like writing something, and then like, we just made more news, guys.

Speaker 4 This is all the stuff. Oh, yeah.
No one knows. Yeah,

Speaker 4 no, no.

Speaker 2 We're breaking news.

Speaker 4 This is all breaking news.

Speaker 2 Okay, good.

Speaker 2 To our smart listeners.

Speaker 4 Yes. When are you going to be done? Is that live action or is it animated?

Speaker 3 It's live action musical. So it's like kind of uncharted territory.

Speaker 2 Did you see Sean's face? When he was looking down and you said musical, he looked up.

Speaker 4 When's

Speaker 4 When do we get to enjoy that?

Speaker 3 I mean,

Speaker 3 we're just in rewrite phase right now. So it's very beginning, but hopefully in the next couple of years.

Speaker 4 Is that something that you work on every single day with her? Like,

Speaker 4 you write today or what do you do today?

Speaker 2 Today,

Speaker 3 we probably should.

Speaker 3 We just got notes and, you know, it's hard to... It's hard to get to the computer sometimes.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 what do you got planned today?

Speaker 4 It's now 10.55 in Los Angeles.

Speaker 2 10.55.

Speaker 3 Well, my kids will be home from their little school at one o'clock.

Speaker 3 So I'll just have a nice quiet house until they get home, which is nice. I mean, I love them.

Speaker 2 Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 So that's two hours between.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't really have a plan. That's two episodes.
I don't really have a plan.

Speaker 4 You're not going to watch Housewives between.

Speaker 3 I don't like to watch during the day. I'm not like a TV watcher during the day.

Speaker 4 So you've got a line over which you will need to cross.

Speaker 3 I mean, plus I need something at night to look forward to, you know, like I like putting the kids down and being like, yes.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 Potomac. What are these ladies getting into tonight?

Speaker 2 This is because it's very real.

Speaker 4 Hey, Will, what are you going to, Will, what are you going to do for the next two hours?

Speaker 2 You know, you're a dick because you know that

Speaker 2 because you weren't invited to golf, Will. I wasn't invited to play golf today.
I just got back into town. I've been gone for a few months.
I just got back Wednesday. And this a-haul.

Speaker 4 I got a good idea. Why don't you go back to the range?

Speaker 2 Oh, okay.

Speaker 4 Yeah. why don't you go back and practice a little bit?

Speaker 2 You know what? What I am going to do is I'm going to go

Speaker 2 work out.

Speaker 2 I got my boxing gym right here. Oh, that's Fight Camp, right? Fight Camp, but I do it in a way like...

Speaker 4 You don't need to go into a Philly action

Speaker 4 when you start talking about it.

Speaker 2 I go against the green in that kind of like low light, and then I play like classical music as I box.

Speaker 2 And I mean, the camera just comes around the corner and it finds me there. You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 You got a top on or top off? Sleeves on, sleeves off? What do you mean?

Speaker 2 No shirt.

Speaker 3 No shirts.

Speaker 3 But you do wear sleeves.

Speaker 2 I do wear sleeves, but no shirts. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I must have already gone through this with you. You already

Speaker 2 hey, Tracy. By the way, Tracy's going to be here in like two hours.
Is that right? Yeah. Wait, wait, wait.
My sister's coming. This is news.

Speaker 4 Is she going to stay with you? Or are you

Speaker 2 going to put her in the

Speaker 2 neighbor's shed? The neighbor's shed. Not even your shed.
Not even your shed. Not even good enough for your shed.

Speaker 2 All right. All right.
Kristen. Will.
Kristen. It's been lovely.

Speaker 4 Will's taken way too much of your time. We love you.

Speaker 3 I love you guys. This was so fun.

Speaker 4 We love Avi, and we love your children.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 2 We love your earrings.

Speaker 4 We love the time you spent with us. Yes.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 I hope you really savor your next two hours of just mellow and peace at the house.

Speaker 3 I'm going to savor it. I'm happy.

Speaker 2 Just get like one of those international collection of coffee and just sit out in your back.

Speaker 3 Oh, just with a savor, cozy cup, scarf in the 90-degree weather.

Speaker 2 All right. Big love.
Big camera. Thank you, my dear.

Speaker 3 I love your podcast. You guys are all amazing.
And thanks for having me.

Speaker 2 We love you. You're a mega talent.
Thank you for being here.

Speaker 4 Thanks guys. Yeah, you're a mega talent, huh? You're a mega talent.

Speaker 2 Yeah, slam it.

Speaker 4 I love her.

Speaker 2 I love her a lot.

Speaker 4 We didn't talk about,

Speaker 4 I did two films with her. I did Extract, that Mike Judge film, and then also Paul,

Speaker 4 about the alien with Sonia Peggy.

Speaker 2 So you've known her for a while.

Speaker 4 I have. I just real crazy about her.
Yeah, I don't see her enough, but Amanda chats with her every once in a while.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Very jealous. She's,

Speaker 2 I mean, she's one of the funniest of all time.

Speaker 4 But you're right. She does keep a very low profile.

Speaker 4 That is admirable.

Speaker 4 I would like to see, I'd like to see more of her on screen at least.

Speaker 2 Yeah. She's amazing.
She's so funny. Always wig, just always

Speaker 2 funny. And I mean that, that like we were saying that every time I see her, we just, I just want to play.
I just want to

Speaker 2 goof around and do a bit and fucking. She's one of those people that was born to do what she's doing.
Born to bit.

Speaker 2 Born to bit.

Speaker 4 But anyway.

Speaker 4 Sean, what do you have to get done there around the house before the troops show up?

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 had to,

Speaker 2 well, you know, there's no pool because my, my,

Speaker 2 you know, talk about high-class problems, but I have a little pool in the back and it's, it's being worked on. So they're bummed about that.

Speaker 2 So, but I said there's an ocean a half hour away with lots of water in it. So they might go swim there.
Oh, because they're working on the pool.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So you're not, would you go with them to the ocean?

Speaker 2 Do you ever go to the ocean? No. No.

Speaker 4 Why? Do you not like, you don't like sand?

Speaker 2 I don't like, I don't like heat. I don't like the cold water.

Speaker 4 Well, what about if you went with a nice parasol?

Speaker 4 and you kind of spin it as you're walking a little bit?

Speaker 2 You know what? Stop coming up with such great ideas.

Speaker 4 You wear a pair of aqua socks so your feet don't burn on the sand and you're spinning parasols.

Speaker 2 You don't like the beach.

Speaker 4 I love it. I don't mind it, but I do find it's overrated.
And

Speaker 4 that's probably because I just grew up out here and it was just like, well, okay, it's just a line and then a bunch of water. That's right.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 4 and it doesn't change until you get to Hawaii.

Speaker 2 But the difference, the California beaches, it's a different animal. It's not like, because it's always a little bit chillier, et cetera.
Correct.

Speaker 4 And it's kind of cloudy. The water is.

Speaker 2 And the water's cold most, like very cold most of the year, except for like August, September. You can't really swim in it and be, you know, unless you really like cold water.

Speaker 2 But I love the beach, man. I can't get enough of it.
Oh, God, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could be enough.

Speaker 4 The good thing about Southern California, there's not a lot of the bigger sharks down in Southern California, so you don't have to worry about that occasional bye.

Speaker 2 Bye. Smart.

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