"Will Forte"

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Subject to change. Hey, Will, good morning.
Hi. Oh, did I wake you? No, no, no, no.
I was just in the middle of... Well, I can tell you what you weren't in the middle of, combing your hair.

Does my hair look messy?

Well, look at the back.

Oh, yeah, it's kind of sticking up.

Well, it's morning time, and I haven't gone through my routine yet.

So you just literally rolled out of bed and sat in front of the mic?

Yeah, is that okay?

Do you sleep next to the mic?

I sleep in the booth, yeah.

All right.

What's the name of the show we're doing today?

Oh, shit, we're doing Smartless now?

Yeah, right now.

Welcome to Smartless. Smart.
Smart. Smart.
Smart. Smart.
Smart. Oh, I got to read this.
Wait. Well, I got to read this text that Jason sent me the other day.
Uh-oh. Okay, so I was just, I'm back from Chicago, right? So when I was in Chicago, I'm staying at this hotel, and I put the slippers on that they provide inside the hotel room, and I took a shot of my feet in the slippers, and I said to Jason, Hey, dumb shit, is this how you do it? Right? Because he doesn't want to, you know, he has a fear of walking around hotel rooms.
Not a fear, just a practicality. He doesn't want to walk barefoot on hotel room.
Same way I wear shoes on the subway, you know? Okay. It's a little different.
There's a lot of traffic in a hotel. Quick sidebar, quick sidebar.
Last time you were on the subway. Yeah.
I mean, you know. Okay, we got our answer.
Thanks very much. Thanks for calling, Colin.
So I said, so I texted Michael. I took a picture of it.
And in the background of the picture is my tennis shoe with the little orthotic lift in it because I'm wearing that boot. Quick sidebar, last time you played tennis.
Yeah, you can call them sneakers. Okay.
Okay, so in the photo, in the background, is my shoe with the little orthotic lift in it, like an old man. So I go, did I get this? Listener, let's be clear.
This is a pad that he straps on to the bottom of whatever shoe he's wearing. The tennis shoe.
So that he can match the height of his unnecessary walking boot that he's wearing because he's got an injured little piggy. That's right.
That's it. That's right.
One small toe that just hurts a little. So in the photo is the slippers.
And I say, hey, dumb shit, did I get this right? Like kind of making fun of him, but not really. So then he goes, you did get the slipper part right, but this is still very, very wrong.
And I go, that's my shoe. Are you jealous? And he goes, no, I know.
I'm talking about the frigging orthopedic riser on it. And I said, I know.
That's because of my fucking boot on the other foot, the one I'm going to ram up your blown out asshole. And he wrote, I know.
I'm saying enough. Chop the toe off or develop a terrible limp.
It will not be worse than the cruise ship medical wear. Boy, I was hot

that night. The cruise ship

medical wear. And yet, you're still

wearing a walking boot unnecessarily.

And this one. You're sitting.

And that. Come on, Sean.

Sean, by the way, who said

they went on a hike recently with Sean and he wore the boot?

Who was it who you went on a hike with

recently? But Sean,

seriously, do we have an

eta uh any sort of prognosis as to when you can stop the nonsense does the doctor say you're just stuck with this the rest of your life you know no like three months but i don't care where what do i care what do i look like i mean it's like i get the again one more time on the injury what exactly what is it it's a little tiny tear on my second toe underneath it right so you have the whole boot Yeah.

You ever seen pictures of guys hitting the beach at Normandy?

Yeah, that's okay. he I've adored for a long time.
Andy Richter. It's not Andy Richter.
And we love him more than we love Andy.

And if Andy's listening, he knows that that's okay.

He's a guy who started, he didn't start,

when he graduated from UCLA,

he didn't immediately go into comedy.

Chase Utley.

He went into, not Chase Utley.

Fucking Jesus.

We're not doing the guessing game the whole time.

He went into finance originally.

Then he started going to Groundlings, and he started performing and writing. Then he got a couple of great writing jobs.
He started writing on that 70s show, Third Rock from the Sun. He then submitted and ended up writing on Letterman.
Spike Fursten. He wrote on Letterman.
Wally's brother, Spike, no. He wrote on Letterman.
Then he left that. He went back to L.A.
And then Lorne Michaels saw him performing, asked him to audition for SNL. He was already a writer on many comedies.
And he said yes. And thank God he did because he's brought us so many great characters over the years, not the least of which one, there was a recurring character that he then ended up making a movie out of it.
He's now making a series out of it.

It's our friend Will Forte.

Oh, Will Forte. Oh, Will.

A.K.

A.K.

Gruber.

Hello.

Hello.

Hi, Will.

Look at this.

More comedic royalty.

I know.

Smartless.

I know.

Look at Will Forte.

One of my favorite things about Will is he used to, his outgoing voicemail message used

to be, Will, and I think John Solomon singing, Will, Forte, beep, and then went into the beep. That was it.
Is that right, Will? Who was it? It was my ex-girlfriend, Amy Keene. She sounds a lot like John Solomon.
Yes. Yes.
So, so Forte, Forte, we, I meant it when I say we've all known and loved you for a long time.

Thank you.

Everybody I know who knows you feels the same way, has great affection for you.

You're one of the warmest, kindest, sweetest guys in this business.

And you offset people like Bateman, which is nice.

So, would you...

Here comes the butt.

No, there's no butt.

That was the burden.

That was the butt.

Because this hasn't been unanimous from what I'm understanding from the people I talk to. Oh, wow.
Yeah. But you keep going.
You're talking to nicer people. Go ahead.
So. No, I know.
Will knows who they are. Wait, you've got a list.
You know who the exact people are who don't like you. Yeah, I got to, you know.
Let's hear a couple of them. It's like Sean Spicer is, you know, a G fan.
Sure, sure. Jim Jordan.

But Forte, honestly, can you, and let's go around the room here, and I'll start.

I'm pretty proud to say there is not a person on the globe where I feel like I got to,

if I see them coming down the street, I'd cross to the other side of the street.

Like that I just don't get along with that person.

We've got a lot of baggage.

It's going to be a nightmare if they make eye contact with me. I don't any enemies I guess is what I'm saying do you guys? Will or Nat? you're saying that because you know I do I'm just curious I don't think I do I'm trying to think I don't think that I have any I don't i don't think you do sean sean do you know i'm i'm no enemies no forte forte i certainly wouldn't cross the street because of anybody i'd you know i'm trying trying to be better about just confronting issues when they come up uh-huh life's about getting better and i i think i for a long time i was i don't know, just scared about stuff, try to avoid it

but trying to be better. But, you know,

yeah, there's certainly people who

I don't know, bad breakups or something

which might be an awkward situation.

Did you used to be the kind of person growing up

where you did keep it all inside and you were like

oh, I gotta keep good face

and I can't and then it just bursts out

like craziness?

Oh, yeah. No, I would

oh, sure, I'd keep stuff in.

I wanted all situations to have

Thank you. and I can't, and then it just bursts out like craziness.
Oh, yeah. No, I would, oh, sure, I'd keep stuff in.
You know, I wanted all situations to have a nice little tidy bow on them. Kilauea used to be your handle in high school, I understood, right? Yes.
Yeah, quite the volcano. Well, actually, Forte, you bring up an interesting point.
You do like to wrap things up, and this is something I've always admired. Will, you're often the last person to leave a party.
Yeah. Right? Is that a fair assessment? He loves to clean.
Well, he almost, no, but he cleans up relationships. Like he talks to everybody.
He says goodbye to everybody properly. You never do what they call an Irish goodbye.
You never slip out. You go, and especially if you've been talking to somebody, you make a point, which is really nice.
I contact and you say, great talking to you. I'll see you later.
I have to go. Like you say all that stuff where mostly people would be like, all right, I got to go later, you know? Yeah, exactly.
If I was the host of party that would put up a flare for me, I'd be like, okay, this guy clearly broke something really expensive. Well, I remember, you know what, Jason, the first time I noticed it was one time we had, there were a bunch of people at your old house and you're in Amanda's house.
And I remember Forte was there. Sean, I think you were there too.
And you guys had like a party or something. And I think I was staying with you and Amanda and Forte was by far the last person to leave.
You literally said goodbye to everybody. I was like, you know, it's so funny too, because I think people think it's cool to like stand in a corner and not connect with people or leave early, like you said.
Well, I think the cool thing is to stay and be the last person and be gracious and extend yourself and talk to everybody. And right, I think that's the cool thing to do.
Yeah, and that's sort of my point. Will, you always make time for people.
You always have conversations that are engaged. You're not flitting around.
Like, you engage with people. That's important to you, right? Yes.
I mean, sometimes I feel like I've gotten worse and worse at it. I think I would do exactly what you're saying all the time.
Now having a baby makes it easier to not feel bad if I have to leave early. There are just times you just have to get out at a moment's notice.
And, yeah, it was almost an illness how I said goodbye to people at parties. It was like, you know, I'd start saying rounds, oh, I didn't say bye to this person.
They're going to freaking hate my guts the next time I see them if they notice that I've left without saying goodbye. And then...
And now you're not getting invited to parties because of it.

They're like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.

You invite Forte.

He's going to stay all night shaking your hand and helping you clean up.

And then I do a second round.

It's like it was so long that I had to really say goodbye to people.

It was almost like a new party I was at.

We haven't left yet.

When we were doing Brother Solomon, which we can get into in a second. Hold for applause.
When we were, yeah, hold for applause. You're going to be holding a long time if you're holding for applause.
I love that movie. I will say it every time.
I know. And you were the first and biggest fan of that movie, Jason.
So we were shooting Brother Solomon, and I remember one day I was like, Forte was always like grabbing, making sure, or he'd leave me notes on my car in anagrams, like really long, right? And he's, remember for a while you were speaking in anagrams. Oh, yes.
Oh, wow. That was a long time ago.
That was a long time. It was like 15 years ago, and Forte would go, I-W-T-T-Y-L-W-Y-G-B.
And I'd be like, what? And he'd go, I'll talk to you later when you get back. Right? For a while, for a couple months.
For a while he was talking like that. So anyway.
Those are acronyms, right? Acronyms, not anagrams? Yeah, that's an acronym. Sorry, that's an acronym.
That's an acronym. That's right.
Googling anagrams? I am sorry to call you out on that. No, no, no, I'm glad you did.
You're absolutely right. I said anagram, right? Yeah, it's an acronym.
Wait, well, didn't you have like a kind of an, openly about it, and we can cut any of this if you don't want, didn't you openly talk about having OCD and was that one of the OCD kind of things that you would do? something like that? That didn't fit under OCD. That was just a weird thing that I just liked doing.
No, that was just a party favor. I mean, certainly it got stuck in, I just got stuck in that gear for a while, and it just, like, my brain would naturally, instead of hearing, hey, it was great seeing you, I'd go, H-I-W-G-S-Y.
And I got pretty fast at it. I was still kind of there.
That was great. That was really good.
I think it sort of tickled something in your comedy brain and once it was active, you couldn't turn it off. But anyway, my point is, so I remember thinking like, fuck Forte, we were shooting downtown.
I'm like, I'm not going to let him say goodbye to me. So I got in my car and I drove like 30 yards away.
And I run out when they wrapped. I ran out, got my car, 30 yards away.
And Forte, I see him come back to the trailers and he's kind of looking around and from 30 yards away, I honked. And he looks up the street and I went and I just drove away.
Like you got the win. And I'm like, I'm not going to let him.
What a dick. Hey, Will, I think I'd be remiss.
I know you're probably sick of talking about it, but I think my sister Tracy and a lot of viewers are kind of fascinated with origin stories of a phenomenal SNL alum like yourself and what the process was about getting the show and how did it come about? Because you are one of the best,

most legendary people to come out of there.

I agree.

You had the best characters.

You were always, always so funny in every sketch you did.

And so what was that like?

I know, again, boring question for you,

but really exciting for me.

So what is, so how did you get the,

like how did you get the role?

What was the process?

What were you doing at the time? Yeah, what was your situation? So I was writing at that 70s show. Oh, that's right.
Which is crazy. I had been writing for like four or five years and had been on a ton of different shows that kept just getting booted after 13 episodes.
Well, sorry, sorry to stop you and even go further back. How did you start writing on comedy series? Like, what was, you graduate UCLA.
Then how do you start writing on a comedy, on a big network comedy? Okay, so I, you mentioned, as you were introducing me, that my dad was in the financial industry. So I just jumped into that.
I thought, oh, I'm going to try to, you know, sell stocks and bonds. And I just, I hated it.
It was, everyone was really nice, but it just was. Can't see why.
It seems really fun. Yeah.
Super fun. It's really interesting.
The danger and the intrigue. The people are incredible.
People in the financial sector are so interesting. Go ahead.
By the way, my dad is in the financial industry. Well.
No, I know. I have a lot of friends in the financial industry.
Not anymore. And they all know your dad, and they say your dad's really interesting.
Oh, so you weren't being sarcastic. No, of course not.
I'm sorry. I read that as sarcasm, and I was...
The folks I've met are fascinating. Let's make the record clear.
Yes. Okay, me too.
No, too late. No, let me just say, Dan Dees is the most interesting man in finance.
Go ahead. The most.
The most. Okay.
Okay, so go ahead, Will. So you're working finance.
There's some kind of Dees Nuts joke in there, but I can't. Dan Dees Nuts.
Oh, God, that's right. I know.
How about how interesting Dees Nuts are? Something like that? I'll work on it. Keep going.
Keep going. Or hey, Dan Dees Nuts, right? I mean, there's just that.
Let's workshop it right after this podcast. So, Will, so there you are.
There you are. There I am.
You're in finance business. Looking at numbers, ingesting numbers, crunching numbers.
You're standing in front of a mirror naked, and you're like, what do you want to do with your life, Will? I just couldn't. Why are you aroused? Yeah, and so I just, I don't know.
I don't even know at what point in my life I realized I wanted to do comedy. But it must have been years before.
I was, you know, everyone loves movies. Everyone loves TV shows.
But I particularly loved SNL, obviously, and Letterman. So years down the road.
And you knew that you weren't unfunny based on school and whatnot. You were making kids laugh.
You knew you had a sense of humor, but you want, how did you channel that into writing? How did you get an opportunity to write? Yeah, because it's a big jump from finance into being a comedy writer. Well, I first started out like, oh, the easiest way where I don't have to put myself out there too much is to just start writing stuff.
So I just started writing with this partner, Anne Blunden was my writing partner back then,

and now Anne Hutchinson.

We're doing a lot of applause tonight.

And it was just such a great release too

for this hellish job.

And then I started, I don't know,

I started realizing,

oh, I think I'd love to try to act out the stuff that I write.

So somebody told me about The Groundlings.

My friend Scott Thomas, I think, was the first person who told me about The Groundlings. And I went and checked it out.
And the very first Sunday show I went to, which is the Sunday show, the newer people, it's like you work your way through the groundling system, make your way into the Sunday show if you climb the ladder. And the Sunday show is like the minor leagues.
And then from the Sunday show, you make it into the main company. And the Sunday show that I saw right before I took my first Groundlings class was Will Ferrell, Chris Kattan, Anna Gasteyer.
No, Parnell was not. No, Parnell.
Yeah, Parnell. Yeah, that makes sense.
It was just this amazing group of people that I had no idea.

Oh, this is going to be like the future of comedy.

Yeah, that's insane.

You just started seeing this really funny show,

and I said, oh, this looks like fun.

And they were probably hilarious.

Oh, they were amazing.

Yeah, of course.

And there were a ton of other amazing people.

That's the craziest thing about it.

Like along the way, you go through the whole Groundlings. Some of the funniest people didn't make it.
You know, it's just, there's such a luck element to it as well. Yeah.
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All episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu. And now back to the show.
So then there at the Groundlings, there's some sort of a scout perhaps from 70s show or some sort of. Yeah.
How'd you get that packet in there? No. As I was doing Groundlings, I was still trying to write stuff.
I met Matt Rice is my agent. He was, he had taken me.
Love Matt Rice. He's a friend of the show.
Matt Rice is a friend. Yeah.
He's, so I went to UCLA with him and dated one of his very good friends, Amanda Glazer. Right.
And so, met him. Do you cross the street when you see Amanda Glazer? No.
You guys... No, no, no.
For sure. No, same strategy.
No. I think we're on good terms, at least.
Yeah. No, no.

We haven't talked in a long time.

Well, she'll reach out to you after this for sure.

Yeah.

But I think fondly of her and hopefully same.

Check your voicemail.

So anyway, we had known each other through Amanda.

And also we were in fraternities.

I was a fraternity guy and he was a fraternity guy.

We'll double back to that.

And so we were right next to each other. Really quick.
Just right back to the groundlings. We have a mutual friend, Carrie Aisley, and she was telling me this one thing that you used to do where there was a sketch where it was a spelling bee and you just spelled a word and didn't stop for like 10 minutes and just picked random letters and it went on and on and on.
Yes.

Yeah.

It was, actually, they'd let me do it at SNL finally.

Oh, they did?

I put it up like five times and finally, I think,

just to shut me up and not have me put it up at the table reads again.

Did it make the cut?

Did it make the show?

It made the show.

It turned out doing really well.

Can I just say in the middle of this as a sideline, this is this topic of finally you know we'll put it up five times during the writer's strike in the end of 2007 early 2008 they did a show a live snl at ucb at the old theater on 26th street and uh because there was no they weren't airing any shows so They did a live SNL, not for broadcast. Mike Serra was the host.

And basically, they just picked sketches that had never made it to air. They were like favorites of the cast and the writers and everybody, but that had never been picked.
And I don't know, there were probably eight or nine sketches. And if there were nine sketches, eight of them were Forte sketches that were all cast and writer favorites because they were so insane, but couldn't make it onto the air because the subject matter was too hot or whatever, or they thought they were too esoteric or, by the way, just too funny.
Just too funny. And of course, it was an unbelievably hilarious show, Will.
That was, I mean, all time. That was a fun night.
That was an incredible night. Anyway, sorry.
I'd love to have seen that. So, Will Forte, with all of this comedic brilliance, and you don't have to agree with it, just plug your ears, do you feel like, where does it all, what's your outlet for all that stuff? Because you've got more in your brain than opportunity could possibly satisfy.
So where is it going all? Where do you like to point it? The Smart List podcast. Yeah, good answer.
Next question. Yeah, number two.
Wait, wait, wait. So, Will, I do want to get back to, sorry, and we've taken you on so many tangents here.
So you're doing the groundlings, whatever. You have a friend.
You've got a packet. You send it to what? You just send it to Carsey Warner, care of Radford Studios.
I had done these weird cartoons. So I did these weird cartoons, showed them to Matt Rice.
That was what made him say, oh, I think I want to sign you. And back then he was like a— You're talking about sketch cartoons like New Yorker cartoons.
Yeah, basically. Well, it was called 101 Things to Definitely Not Do if You Want to Get a Chick.
And it's just a bunch of dumb— I'd like to see that. Like, do not kill their pets.
Right. Do not, you know— It's a good, by the way, it's a great note.
One to live by. It's just a bunch of really weird stuff.
And it was, you know—, so anyway, this thing got me my first couple jobs, this packet of sketches. And so right as I was, I had just made my way through the groundling system, got my first job at the Jenny McCarthy sketch show.
What, what, what? Whoa, whoa, whoa. That was on MTV.
Uh-huh. And then went to Letterman from that.
Oh, I'm so sorry about.

No, I love her.

This is what eight-and-a-half-month-old kids do.

Yeah.

You're just, you know what you are?

You're just a pacifier away from peace.

Just their plugs, little corks.

I am so sorry.

Okay.

Don't ever apologize, Will.

So sorry.

Not for that.

Apologize for a lot of other stuff. No, that little asshole needs to learn to.
Hang on, Will. Jesus.
Jesus, Will, your mic is still on. No, I know.
She needs, she's, we put headphones on her so she could listen. Oh, she's listening to the podcast.
She's quiet because I give her the. She's got notes.
So went to Letterman from there, and this was working my way.

How was Letterman?

I mean, was that a dream come true?

It was a dream come true.

It was also...

It was my second job.

This is...

I was terrified.

I did not do as good a job.

I thought it was going to be a match made in heaven

because this is like...

He's my all-time...

One of my all-time comedy heroes.

Yeah, same, same, same, same.

And just grew up... He was part of the formation of my sensibilities, you know, just dash of this, dash of that.
What was the writing process like on that show? Was it basically writing monologues or coming up with top ten things? No, at the time, there was a guy, Bill Shaft, was writing the monologue stuff. And we would do top ten lists.
We'd do viewer mail. We'd do sketches.
So everything that was comedy stuff besides the monologues was the writers. And there was a team of, I don't know, 12 or 14 or something like that.
And you sit around a table every day, or was it once a week? You would never sit around a table. You would write stuff in your office and then you'd turn it into, you know, some thing on a door.
Oh, really? And then, yeah, it was an interesting system. You mean like one of those little folder catchers like on the outside of a doctor door? You'd just drop your ideas? Exactly.
That's exactly it. And you wouldn't work with the other writers? Sometimes you would.
Sometimes you'd go in and write. I have a lot of guys I still am friends with.
Rodney Rothman was writing there when I was there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Carter and Craig, I don't know if you know those guys. They were good friends.
Everyone was really... Did Glazer run on Letterman before Conan or no?

I don't think so.

Glazer, though, he was on the Jenny McCarthy sketch show.

Oh, he was?

John Glazer, I think that was his second show he had worked on.

John Glazer, one of the all-time funniest dudes.

Yeah.

Will, do you miss Saturday Night Live? Do you miss the camaraderie, the writing of the sketches,

the being in the sketches, the schedule, like...

Snacks?

Every week?

The schedule, no.

The, I do miss the show, but there's not really a part of me that wishes I was still there. Too much anxiety.
It's just very stressful, and I was, I watched Fred. I came in the year that Fred came in, too.
Fred Armisen listener. Fred Armisen, and he just had such a joy to perform and wasn't nervous at all, and I was just shitting my pants all the time.
I was terrified. It got better over the years, but it still was something that was just always terrifying for me.
You were always very fastidious about it, too. Like, when you were in the, I remember, pre-show, you would always be going over your shit or whatever.
You'd always be, like, really in it. Like, you didn't, not to say that you weren't loose, but you were, you, it was important to you to do it well and do it right.
Like you're very meticulous that way. I mean that as a compliment, by the way.
Well, it's, that can be a really good thing and a really bad thing. And, you know, sometimes it would be great because sometimes that level of preparation and trying to hit stuff in a certain way really works.
And then sometimes you're just too tight. It just kind of...
Seems like there's always a good balance between cast members that take it very, very loosely. Like, in other words, kind of smiling all the way through it, almost laughing all the way through it.
And then other ones that are almost off book. They don't even need the cue cards.
They're so well rehearsed and serious about it. It's sort of a great little cocktail.
But bottom line, the experience of a lifetime, it's what an honor to be there. But I'm happy to watch it as a viewer now.
Because I get stressed. Even when I watch it as a viewer, I go, ugh.
How weird is it now, though, all these years later, and you start writing this, you know, you start this character, you and Solomon write this character, MacGruber, this sketch. So funny.
That is super, I know. There's not enough room for the applause.
And you start this running bit, which is so great. I love the way that the bit is always a runner in the show.
So it's always a series of like three or four little minute long things, right? And you do that over the course of a number of years, then you make the movie. And then now years later, you guys have just made the series, MacGruber.
Is it weird to think like, we just wrote that as a bit and we're doing it now as 2021? Very weird. When we first did it, I thought the first one was like, it was fun and fine, but I don't think any of us ever thought this will be anything more than just a one-off little short that we do.
I was kind of surprised that the audience seemed to respond to it. I was like, oh, you like this, huh? Well, MacGyver was a very big hit at the time that you guys launched that.
Can I ask an in the weeds question? It was, is the, is the MacGruber and the whole thing, is it close enough creatively for you guys to have to cut in the MacGyver people on rights and licensing and all that stuff? Or did you get enough separation where you don't have to worry about that? Well, that was something that was... Parody, right? ...tough during the movie because we were trying to...
I think there was a cease and desist letter and then we had to make sure to go in and... That means you're doing it right, by the way.
I way. You know, at the end of the day, with the movie stuff especially, there was not a ton of crossover between what MacGruber does and what MacGyver did.
You know, it was a jumping off point and then it kind of, you know, the sketches definitely, yes, but then once the movie version of it is so different than the sketches, there's like a whole different mythology. So the good thing about, you know, we just got a chance to do it as a series and we're just finishing editing it right now.
But early on when we were trying to do this, the MacGyver people gave us their blessing. And so that was an awesome thing.
That was just like a green light, and we didn't have to worry about it. One of my favorite movie, quite literally, cinema scenes of all time.
Can I guess what it is? And it's so forte, it's beyond belief. Yeah, go ahead and guess.
Is it when he pulls his pants down in front of Ryan Phillippe? Crying? No. That was so funny.
Sean, get up and hobble into the other room. Push your chair away from the table.
Okay. Breathe through your nose.
Sean, I like that scene too. I think it makes me laugh so hard.
No, it's when the guy tells him off and Forte's like, fuck you, and he takes, and he goes, whatever, like 4HCXYZ, 4HC, and it's the license plate of the guy who's told him off. And he keeps repeating it, right? And he's like, 4HC, and he keeps saying it.
And then way later, Ryan Phelope is going through MacGruber's stuff and he finds this notebook and he opens it up and it's page after page of just the license book. And then killing the guy and blowing the guy.
Page after page after page of the guy's fucking license. That is hilarious.
I still have that. That's one of the things, that notebook, it's KFBR 392.
Oh, my God. I have that notebook, and then the Miata.
We bought the Miata for like $1,000 from the production. Did you really? Do you still have it? You still have it? Yeah.
No way. Do you drive it? Yeah, yeah.
Never drove it once, and then they had to tow it out of my garage to use it for the series. Oh, that's fantastic.
That's great that you kept it. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Wow.
Now, Will, let me ask you something about writing, because, you know, one of my favorite TV shows of all time is Last Man on Earth. I've seen every episode when it came out I was like oh finally like a show that is you know because it's been a while been like a dry spell since a really great comedy came along and it was so funny it was just so interesting and different and hilarious and laugh out loud funny and did you have and I know you wrote it and you started it and you directed a lot of them or all of them.
I don't know.

I didn't direct any of them because I was too busy writing

and doing all the other stuff.

So we had a bunch of wonderful directors.

Okay.

And so do you,

isn't that just all-consuming

and overwhelming

and would you do it again

or is there a part of you

that's just like,

you know what,

it's so fun to just show up

and act in somebody else's thing.

By the way,

is your daughter fighting a bobcat?

Oh, here she is.

Oh, here she comes.

The little angel.

Look, it's a baby.

Listener, we have a very beautiful baby here.

Looks like most babies accept the added beauty.

Oh, my God.

Look at that.

She's playing with the microphone.

Will, she's incredible.

Can I say something, Zoe?

Hey, Zoe,

what do we have

for breakfast this morning?

Okay, that, listen.

That was nice.

She knows a cue

when she hears one.

Exchange numbers with Bateman

and he'll send her some tips

like on how to like

lose water weight

or whatever,

like all the good,

you know, important.

Oh, she is really,

really cute. Will, she is absolutely gorgeous.
Yeah, she's so cute. Thank you.
Look at that. Sean, this is a great opportunity for us to talk about where we're at with adoption conversations with you and Scott.
Go ahead. Oh, perfect.
Yeah, I had a long question, but let's skip that. I'll answer your question after this.
Okay, my motto is

I'd rather regret not having them than have

them and regret it later.

Well, it's a great sound bite.

I mean, look, we're not looking

to write something like, you know, above the wall,

you know, the door at a football

locker room. You know, we're not looking

for Newt Rockne words

of wisdom. Something we can slap on the way out to the pitch.

Yeah, to slap, hey, remember Sean

said this? Yeah.

When he died at the end of 2021?

That's what I should have. Oh, my God.
I know my death date. You know what? I had, there was a guy in high school, he took a lot of acid at this high school I went to.
It was not a real academic tower. But, yeah, this guy took a lot of acid.
And the kids we were in class with, he said, no, this guy, his gift, he can tell you your death date. He can ask him to close his eyes and he can tell you how and where you're going to die.
No kidding. You know, he was just a 10th grader like the rest of us.
And so so yeah, one lunch or nutrition or whatever, I asked him, he said, he said, I got you in a hotel room surrounded by a bunch of bottles. Middle age.
That's awful. Yeah.
And then he just turned around

and kept walking and I'll, and I'll just never, you can't unhear that, right? You can discount it,

but you can, you can't unhear it. And so you've spent your life trying to avoid that.

Well, yeah, that was probably had something to do with my decision to go ahead and stop the

Thank you. that, right? You can discount it, but you can't unhear it.
So you've spent your life trying to avoid that.

Well, yeah, that probably had something to do with my decision to go ahead and stop the

drinking. Sure.

And you remembered it because it was so fucking

traumatizing. Well, yeah, you can't forget stuff like that.

By the way, I did a Ouija board

thing in high school, just

messing around, and

it told me when I was going to die.

It said that I'm going to die when I'm 73 by getting stabbed. Oh my god.
Yeah. Wait, so you're going to, you are going to end up having some enemies.
Yes. You don't have any now.
I don't know. Kind of fun.
Or maybe it's a good friend. But see, like you're never going to be able to forget that.
When you turn 73, when you wake up that first morning of 73, you're going to to say to yourself well now i got 12 months to watch my back i gotta watch oh yeah i'm getting a freaking like a bunker i'm just gonna wait out that whole year yeah like like a panic room i always wanted to get a clock that counted backwards from like 80 years old and it would tell you how many hours days minutes seconds you have left to live so you you've already predetermined that you're going to take 80 and... Well, you just pick a random, like let's say 80, maybe because your grandfather died when he was 80 or 75 or 95 or whatever it is.
But then you hit start and it counts backwards. Wouldn't that be wild to wake up and say, I only have this many hours left? That would be a lot of anxiety.
Well, what's going to be enough for you? What's your number? Like Forte, what's your number? If you go, if I died this age, I'm fine with it. I mean, I think I'd like 80 sounds.
Like, you know, not that I don't want to live past 80. Yeah, that is young.
80's young. My dad's 83.
Jim Arnett. Yeah.
Yeah, for Jim Arnett. Let's hear it for Jim Arnett.
For me, it's going to be 90. Anything over 90 is going to be bonus, but I really feel like I can make it to 100.
How is your family history? So far, so good. Knock wood.
Yeah. Dad's 85 and like a bull.
Awesome. Mom's doing well too.
Okay. Sean? I'm good anywhere between 75 and 80.
Sean's dad is 85. Sorry, he's doing 85 on the...
The opposite direction of where Sean is. Yeah.
He's doing right. Yeah, three of my grandparents died like 97, 97, 94.
And my great-grandmother died at 105. Wow.
Yeah. Oh, you're sad.
See, here's my thing. You can't do the things you want to do after 80.
That's not true. That's not true.
But I mean, like, you know. My dad's 83.
My dad's very active. He's out.
He goes to the trainer a couple times a week. All right, one, one, one.
He's out cross-country skiing and snowshoeing because he's in Canada. All right.
He's trying to stay on brand. Oh, is that right? Oh, is that right? Willie, did you see the Leafs last night? They just can't get the park out of their own zone, eh? They gotta give her.
Yeah, guys, you gotta give her. We'll be right back.
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All right, back to the show. So, Forte...
Yeah? So, so... Can I get an answer just for my question? Yeah, let's double back to your question.
The question was so long ago. So, back to that.
Thank you, first of all, for the nice things you said about Last Man on Earth. I love that show so much.
That was a dream scenario of getting to have your own show and control it. And it was also...
But overwhelming, right? A nightmare in terms of what it did to my physical and mental health. Because, like, just because of my mental makeup, like, I'm very OCD.
I'm a perfectionist, which would be surprising for people who see how I keep my body and basically everything in my life. That's not true.
Nothing is perfect except for my little baby. Will, you look good.
You always keep it tight. Yeah, so do you prefer just showing up being an actor instead of all that control? Well, I mean, there's a wonderful part about that.
You can just, like, if you have a lot of trust in the people who are the directors, then that's the best because you're just coming in, doing a job, you don't have a life outside of it. You don't have to worry about all the post-production and doing sound mixes and everything.
It's a tremendous amount of work that goes into this stuff. And if you're somebody who's got to have his fingerprints on every single part of it because you're, I don't know, I like very specific things.
And if you're willing to give up that control, and with Last Man on Earth, I was not willing to give it up. And I was like, okay, I've entered into this.
I'm just going to wait until it's done. And I would just go nuts.
Well, here's Forte's dedication. I remember going to like some award thing or whatever, and you were, it was that part, I think it was maybe season two of Last Man, and you had shaved half your face and half your head.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Right? Was that season two? Yeah, I had a big, long beard.
He had a crazy long beard and crazy long hair. And then just everything was shaved on this other half.
Completely, including eyebrow, completely shaved on that side of the head. And so from, if you saw the profile, he looked like you're like, you're like, oh, look at Forte.
He's like, let his beard go and stuff.

And then he would turn his head.

And you're like, Jesus, what the?

It was incredible.

Yeah, it was really cool.

So Sudeikis plays my brother on the show.

And he, long story short, he, as a prank, he shaved off the entire side of my,

one side of my body and left the other side very hairy.

I did that once to a guy.

A guy who passed out in my living room shaved off his eyebrow while he was. Oh while he was uh yeah he didn't know until he got back to college the next day well it turned out he was dead right he never he never found out so in the show i didn't want to get him the satisfaction of knowing that he had burned me very hard so i pretended that i really liked it and i i i wore it for several episodes but that meant that i had to freaking wear it in real life, you know, keep that hairstyle in real life for a month.
Oh, God. That was so crazy.
It was. That's so cool, though.
It was so crazy. And then so who do you have now in the new season of MacGruber? Who do you have? Because you mentioned, you know, you work with a lot of same people.
You got Sudeik is obviously somebody you worked with on SNL and he came on Last Man. John Solomon has been a collaborator with you for many years on writing stuff.
Yeah. And so is John's part of this new MacGruber series? Yeah, John, Yorma, and I are the three original.
Yorma was the one who had the original idea,

which we then, the three of us all,

wrote everything together, me, John, and Yorma.

And then Yorma directed the movie.

People would know Yorma just for Tracy in Wisconsin.

Yorma is one of the Lonely Island guys

and wrote and directed and performed in many sketches,

especially, you know,

they started those digital shorts at SNL.

Yeah, Andy Samberg.

They're going to bog me.

Yeah.

Ciccone, last name?

Ciccone, yep, yep.

Ciccone.

Ciccone.

Like, he directed the movie

and just did an amazing job directing the movie,

and now there are eight episodes for this MacGruber series,

and Jorma directs four, John directs four.

John's an amazing director, too,

and directed a bunch of Last Man on Earths

and wrote a bunch of them, too.

He's been a bunch of Last Man on Earths and wrote a bunch of them, too. John Selman is a brilliant...
Top of the heap. Yeah, brilliantly funny guy.
Both those guys. Where are we going to see this MacGruber show? It's on Peacock.
Got it. Peacock.
That's great. Wig's back, too? Wig is back, yeah.
Wig is so... Kristen Wiig? The three, me, me, Kristen Wig, Ryan Phillippe are all back.
Um, and then, uh, Lawrence Fishburne, uh, has a big part in it. And, um, Billy Zane is the bad guy and Sam Elliott, uh, plays my dad.
Wow. Oh my God.
Yes. They're, and they're all amazing.
Lorne Michaels still collecting a fee for this, yeah? Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Lorne, it was so funny. Oh, good.
He makes this whole thing happen. Like, it's people, I mean, as you would imagine, this show just came, or the movie came out and just shit the bed so hard.
Just incredibly hard. Yeah, and Lorne's basically, what, three of the six feathers on the peacock.
I mean, he is Mr. NBC.
He's amazing. So he's, you know, his, obviously none of this would be possible without him.
I mean, none of my whole career would be possible without him. You know, he's, everything I have, I everything I have, thank him for, but well, he's got good taste.
He's, he's always been a champion. You really, you really tickle him.
I think, uh, he, he legitimately loves you. I love him.
He's, he's wonderful. So it's, it's, uh, you know, yeah.
I mean, I, I hope I look back. I, my, my answer with Saturday Night Live, I hope, you know, yes, I am happy to be away from the stress of it, but God, what an honor to be a part of that show and so many fun, wonderful people I'm still friends with.
Yeah, I told you earlier, Letterman and SNL, those were like my, those were part of what molded my sensibilities. And then to get a chance to work at both of them is, you know, it's a blessing to be able to work at just one of your dream jobs.
I got to do two of them. Yeah, not a lot of people can say that.
What kind of stuff do you want to do now? Now you're on the sort of the tail end. Maybe you'll do more MacGruber after this.
I'm sure it's going to be amazing. We know that you're going to, that you want to live at least another 30, maybe 40 years.
We never got an actual answer on you. Well, I'm 51 now, and I have 22 years left to live.
Oh, right, because you're getting stabbed in 73. Right, right, right.
Because of the stabbing. So what are you going to do for the next 22 years? When my daughter stabs me.
Oh, no, you think it's going to be her? I think it's going to be Zoe. I'm kidding.
That would be great. Let's get another look at her.
Let's see if we can see the rage in her eyes. Oh, my God.
She just came in the room. What do you, but I do want to get back into it.
Where do you see yourself? Like, what do you want to do? Do you want to write more movies for yourself? Do you want to do sketches? It's such a weird time in showbiz, right? I mean, do you want to? I'll tell you, like, it's... As I said, it's all gravy.
After, if I could have stopped after SNL, you know, everything after SNL was gravy, then, I mean, getting to do that movie Nebraska? Yes. I never thought I'd get a chance to do something like that.
Do you want to do more stuff like that? Oh, sure. I mean, I'd love to do everything, but the main thing, I just want to be in a situation where I can spend a lot of time with her growing up.
And do something where you can be around. No family is important to you because you're very close.
Because I know you're really close to your mom and your dad. Oh, my God.
That is, okay, that's a good one. So let's talk about your mom.
I love your mom, first of all. I have an idea, by the way, about, well, go ahead and tell everybody about my mom, then I can tell you my idea.
Yeah, Will,

let's hear about his mom. Well, his mom's incredible.

Patty, she's one of the nicest

people ever. She's got a lot of

ideas, right, Will? Yep.

She's got a lot of ideas. Is Patty with an I

or Patty with a Y? With an I.

Thank you for asking. And she's

such a sweet,

you know, open, kind, warm, loving person, And you guys are really, really close, which I love. One of the things I love about you instantly is how close you are with your family and how close you are and good you are to your mom and she to you.
And it's just a great example of... And she's, you know, she knows that she's such a big part of your life.
And everybody who knows you and who's friends with you knows your mom. Oh, yeah.
And it's really awesome. She's the best.
I mean, she's just a magical woman. She is, if you are somebody who doesn't love, not just like, but love my mom, there's something wrong with you.
I agree. You're just somebody I don't want to be around.
She's an absolute delight. I've always loved your mom.
But she, so yeah, she does have a bunch of what I would say are very shitty ideas. Just a bunch of shitty comedy ideas.
And so she would always, when I was at SNL, she'd always say, oh, I have, Carol and I were talking and I have a great idea for this. And then just say this pretty bad idea.
And I'd say, okay, mom, save that for the Patti Forte sketch show. So eventually I was like, that had happened enough times that I'm like, I got to do a Patti Forte sketch show.
So as soon as time kind of opens up, we're going to do a thing, which is basically it's a show which will follow her making her own sketch show.

I mean, that is such a great idea.

She will write everything.

She will make every decision.

And so I'll kind of be in there, you know, just like guiding her along the way.

Like, well, I don't think that's a great idea, but if you want to do it,

you know, and she and her friend Carol are going to write all the, and she's 70, she's about to be 78, and Carol, I think, is 80 or 81, and they're going to frickin'. You're anticipating this huge comedic train wreck and that that will be the fun of watching this slow-moving collision with...
Oh, my God. It's going to be...
That's Zoe looking at dailies. It's just going to be so amazing because it would be, you know, you'll kind of follow the process, and then the very end of each show will be the actual sketch that she's created.
That's actually a really funny idea. It's going to be, it's incredible.
I remember you told me about that a while ago in my... Yeah.
You asked if if I, and I said yes, and I'm still, yes. Oh yeah.
So each week will also like, it will, that sketch will include, you know, some kind of comedy heavyweight, you know, then I've asked Will to be in them. Oh my God.
In addition to a comedy heavyweight. Jason, Sean, if you guys would ever want, it will make it very easy for you.
Just a couple hours, pop in, be in a sketch with Patty Forte and Carol. Anything you want.
You're busy? Wait, Jason, are you saying you're very busy? No, I think that's what Sean was going to say. Anything you want.
Anything you want. Yeah.
I'm with Arnett. My three rules are where do you want me to stand, what do you want me to say, and what do you want me to wear? Okay, we'll get to that later.
I mean, I don't know. Patty will tell you.
Where do you want me to stand? What is it, Sean? Where do you want me to stand, what do you want me to say, and what do you want me to wear? Okay, we'll get to that later. I mean, I don't know.

Patty will tell you.

Where do you want me to stand?

What is it, Sean?

Where do you want me to stand,

what do you want me to say,

what do you want me to wear?

And I'd rather regret not,

this is in addition,

how long is this quote of yours?

I'd rather regret not having where you want me to stand

than to never regret not what do you want me to wear.

That's exactly right.

In five, four, three, two, one.

Five, six, seven, eight.

I don't talk to you, I just get that feeling. I'm like, oh, yeah, Will Forte.
I'm so happy you're in the world. You know what? I feel that way about you guys.
I was very excited to come on here because it's each of you individually are so wonderful and to have you in this unit is just like, it's almost too much for your eyes and ears to handle. Thank God we're not in the same room together.
No. I know.

It would be too electric.

It would be far too electric.

I loved seeing you and hearing you, talking to you, Will.

It's been very, very too long.

Yes.

Yeah.

Well, hopefully, I'm in Atlanta right now,

but when I get back to Los Angeles,

maybe we can all go together and hang out.

I want to give you the opportunity, Forte,

to say goodbye to each one of us individually. Go ahead.
Okay. Me first.
Jason. Hi.
It has been very nice talking to you. I appreciate the nice things that you've said to me.
And I'm sorry that I could not have been a better guest for you today. Well, I'm so glad that you came and appreciate you.
This is now, and I will improve. I will take steps to improve for the next time I'm on if I am ever given the chance.
I love you. Say hello to Amanda for me.
Will do. And to girls.
And then Sean. Yeah.
My husband's name is Scotty. Scotty.
Beam me up.. Wonderful.
Really wonderful. Thank you.
And that's it. I love you, and you're wonderful, and I do would love for you to meet Zoe at some point.
I want all of you to meet Zoe. Thank you.
So please come over, meet Zoe, and I'm telling you, it's pretty awesome. Let Jason talk you into it.
It it's the best but if you make the decision not to you're wonderful thank you I feel the same about you and it's the right decision whatever you do Will Will of all three of us we've spent the most time together you're like a brother you just mention Arnett's name and Zoe goes off again I think this. This is what we've identified the problem.
She wishes I was there. Go ahead.
Sorry. Sorry, Forte.
No, it's just, you know, in the same thing you just said about me, which is very touching, I feel the same way about you. So I love you.
You will always be a brother to me. I love you too.
And I want to see you more often. Same here.
Same here. Forte.

So thank you for letting me be a part of this podcast.

Thanks for being here, Will.

And today I feel smart more.

Nice.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, I love that.

After this experience.

Smart more.

Thank you, Will.

Such a delight.

Such a delight.

Will Forte, thanks for your time.

Thanks for your love.

Thanks, pal.

We love you.

Love you, pal.

And have a great day.

And love to Zoe and everybody.

Thank you.

Love you guys. Thanks, Forte.
Love you, Val. Bye, Forte.
Bye. Bye, William.
Bye. Boy, another world-class prick.
I mean, right? Could you just feel the anger and the hostility? Not one nice thing out of his mouth. Forte is, he really is.
He's one of those people, I hope you guys

feel the same way,

that when you see him,

you light up

because he lights up.

He just exudes

positive energy.

He's...

Can't see him

in a bad mood.

No.

Armisen the same way.

It's amazing

that those two were,

they were a little bit

of a duo on the show.

Would you agree?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kindred spirits. Kindred spirits, different, but came in, obviously he said it came at the same time.
Yeah, they were very kindred spirits. I didn't know he wrote on all those things.
Like that blew my mind. I was like, wow.
I find that fascinating when people have this history of being in the business before you get to know them as a fan, you know? Like he wrote on all of those TV shows, not just that 70s show, but so many other TV shows. When we did the Brother Salman that was produced by our friend Tom Warner, a great guy.
And I know, Tom Warner. Tom had hired, obviously, Will to write on 70s show.
So he was his boss there. And then years later, now he is starring in a film that Tom's producing.

And I think, you know,

it was like a very strange,

like, he wasn't known as that guy.

And all of a sudden,

now he's doing this thing.

Yeah, very cool.

I know.

So delightful to have people like that on, right?

This is where Sean's brain goes to buy right now.

I know.

He's already starts to formulate.

Three, two, one.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You don't have to.

You know, you don't have to just cry. Bye.
We've done Take a Big Bite Out of the Apple. We've done that.
We've done a Biden thing. Yeah.
Did you see the way Zoe almost bited the microphone? No. Here's the problem,

because I notice, I don't know about your guys,

but I wear my glasses whenever

I can, but then after the reading glasses,

I take them on and off.

What I really need are a pair of

my vocals!

It's the best one ever,

aren't you?

Smart.

Less.

Smart.

Less.

Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarf, and Bennett Barbaco.

Smart. Less.
Hey friends, Jason here. We're so excited the Smart Less has officially joined the SiriusXM family.
We can't wait to announce new surprise guests who we know that you'll love. If you want to be the first to hear new episodes ad-free in a whole week early, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts Plus on Apple Podcasts or visit SiriusXM.com slash podcasts plus to start your free trial today.
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