"Justin Theroux"

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Speaker 2 Hello, good morning,

Speaker 3 or good afternoon, or evening, whatever it is.

Speaker 3 I'm Jason. The guy interrupting and mumbling is Will.

Speaker 2 I'm Will.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 2 he looks like Sean Hayes.

Speaker 1 I'm over here. Here he is.

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 3 Did you just take nappies?

Speaker 2 Yeah. I hope our listeners are still awake because this is Smartless.

Speaker 3 Here comes. Smart.

Speaker 3 Smart.

Speaker 3 Less.

Speaker 3 Smart

Speaker 3 Letters

Speaker 2 means so much to me, like a birthday. What a pretty view.
Sorry, I just wanted to say that lyric. I had to get that out, OCD style.
Go ahead.

Speaker 3 Where did the new love for Duran Duran come from?

Speaker 2 I love Duran Duran.

Speaker 3 Archie or Abel? No, seriously, it's not something you've always talked about or done. What I love.

Speaker 2 First of all, Sean, you know, the restaurant, Jones on Third. What do I do all the time? Anytime somebody mentions it, I go, Jones on Third, two minutes later.

Speaker 2 Duranduran is always here, man. It's always,

Speaker 2 it's a click away. It's right on my desktop.
Okay.

Speaker 3 But why not Pet Shop Boys or Wham or

Speaker 2 ABC?

Speaker 2 Why not, you know, why not anything, Jason?

Speaker 3 Why not anything? But did you have like a really special experience at a Duran Duran concert and that's what's, you know, really entrenched it for you?

Speaker 2 It was the soundtrack of my youth.

Speaker 1 Did you buy the albums, Duranduran albums?

Speaker 2 Of course I did. Okay.

Speaker 1 why am i shushing why are you shushing because do you know this commercial with that use of the pet shot boys uh because jason brought a pet shot boys where it's like i got the brains you got the bronze oh yeah that guy driving in the car just driving and then the head ornament sings and i don't understand i don't get it i don't either actually you know what i think that guy's got a good voice huh sure no everybody involved is wonderful i just don't get the product and the song and i don't know what's happening i don't either it's effective though we're talking about it right now we don't know the product because here here i got here I'm sitting with a couple of Hollywood insiders who are out of touch with what

Speaker 2 elite Hollywood insiders.

Speaker 2 Sorry, you're right. You're absolutely right.
I stand corrected. Hollywood elite insiders.

Speaker 2 And I,

Speaker 2 I'm Joe.

Speaker 2 I'm like Tracy. Sean's sister and I are very similar in a lot of ways.
We're both normal knockaround people from the neighborhood.

Speaker 3 She's got a name on her now.

Speaker 2 Her name's Tracy. It's Tracy.

Speaker 3 It's always been Tracy, by the way. We've never referred to her by her name.

Speaker 2 Of course we have.

Speaker 3 I think Sean just remembered it, actually.

Speaker 2 Jason, I'm now starting to understand I'm now on Amanda's side in your in your in your lifetime battle because you don't pay attention she's right well I'm constantly thinking about me I don't have time to hear it what did you what did you one time I said to you this is at least almost 20 years ago we were watching football and Amanda came in and she was like giving you a grief about something and I go wow that's a lot and do you remember what you said to me no you said I got her on a different channel yeah yeah yeah it's a different volume slider it's usually down around one or two and by the way and and she knows, and she's like, oh, God.

Speaker 2 But you know what? Now I'm on Amanda's side because you're not paying attention. It's always been Tracy.
We've always said Tracy.

Speaker 3 I'm one of those guys that's probably going to fake a hearing loss much, much earlier than it's actually happening.

Speaker 3 So I don't have to, you know, answer too many questions. I'm going to give myself an out.
I may just have like a fake hearing aid for years.

Speaker 2 Oh, man. What a great sentence, genius.
Have you ever noticed you've already got the dumb look on your face? I mean, that's built in.

Speaker 1 I go to anger a lot faster than I used to with age because yesterday

Speaker 1 I was upstairs looking out the window in the backyard.

Speaker 2 I'm staring out the window, sitting in a chair, staring out the window, granddad,

Speaker 1 thinking about my actions and my future.

Speaker 1 And I looked up and I saw our dog eating poop again, and I was so upset. I was so upset, I screamed down to Scotty, and I go, Scotty,

Speaker 2 Ricky's eating his poop again. And he goes, Outside?

Speaker 1 I go, no, inside at the dining room table with a nice glass of wine. Yeah, outside.

Speaker 2 He got so upset because I came back so fast with such sarcasm.

Speaker 2 When you saw the dog in the backyard, were you worried that it was going to start digging up all the gold that you've buried everywhere in your backyard? Like a crazy old person?

Speaker 2 Were you worried about it?

Speaker 3 But he's got that little sonar thing to refine it.

Speaker 2 Just in case.

Speaker 1 I got to train him where it's the most disgusting thing in the world.

Speaker 2 Okay, so, you know, speaking of disgusting, well, not really. It's a terrible segue, but our guest,

Speaker 2 our guest today,

Speaker 3 is a real catch, huh?

Speaker 2 Well, our guest is a real catch. First of all, our guest is incredible, talented, multi-talented in lots of different ways.

Speaker 2 Our guest is an artist, our guest is a writer, our guest is a performer, our guest is all those things.

Speaker 2 I once said to our guest, I've seen you on the beach and I've seen you on TV. Two of a billion stars that means so much to me, like a birthday or a pretty view.

Speaker 2 But then I'm sure that you know it's just for you. It's not Rio.
Our guest is Justin Thoreau. Oh,

Speaker 2 oh my sweet, sweet lord. Look at the mustache.
He's in disguise, too.

Speaker 2 Wow. Are you in disguise? It's a really aggressive reveal.
Yeah. And it only works.
It's great for podcasts.

Speaker 2 You look like Bobby Valentine when he was trying to pretend he was not on the Bobby Valentine on the Mets bench. That's a reference that not everybody's going to get.

Speaker 3 Listener, Justin has

Speaker 3 about a 40-pound mustache on his upper lip.

Speaker 2 And he's about to tell us why 40 pounds yeah i just started a new job so the beard had to go and we left the mustache and um what's this

Speaker 3 the uh this is the watergate thing yeah yeah watergate

Speaker 2 gordon liddy oh that's great it's a film about watergate or a play or it's a it's a limited series for hbo and um with woody harrelson and uh we were just about to brainstormed isn't it what's that isn't it your brain your brain baby a little bit no not at all it was um a totally different person's brain baby it was first of all Brain baby is not an expression.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's

Speaker 2 both of you stopped using it. Exactly.

Speaker 3 Justin, I'm so, hang on a second. Justin, I'm so excited you're.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's so good to see you, Jason.

Speaker 3 Listener,

Speaker 3 this is a great answer to a long-running question inside my head. Thank you, Tom.
Which one of us was going to bring you on the show?

Speaker 3 I can't believe it took this long.

Speaker 2 Well, I can't believe it took this long either. And I'm honored that it was Will.
And I'm disappointed it wasn't you. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, we have been talking a lot about you. I don't know if you're aware.

Speaker 2 That's how I heard about the podcast.

Speaker 1 And I'm excited because I don't know you as well as these guys.

Speaker 2 I know. So it's like we're meeting for the first time.
You guys do know each other. We've met before.
I think I was trying to remember it. We had a dinner somewhere.

Speaker 2 I don't think you'd like each other.

Speaker 2 Oh, boy. Yeah, I don't think we have anything.
You're both too opinionated.

Speaker 3 What about, hey, can we talk for a second? Listener, I know you can't see this, but I'm looking at a really gorgeous place behind you. That's not your apartment in New York, is it?

Speaker 3 That's a different angle.

Speaker 2 No, this is a place I've taken up residence in upstate New York. Do the owners know that? No, not yet.
No, I haven't. Oh, you're squatting.
Good for you. I'm squatting.

Speaker 2 Squatter's rights are so vigorous in New York State. So it's just a lot of people.

Speaker 2 You can walk into any house and take it over. I live here now.
Basically.

Speaker 1 Wait, I want to hear more. So it's Watergate, but you didn't write it.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't write it.

Speaker 3 But now that you mentioned G. Gordon Liddy, that is a great description of that mustache.
It is the perfect G. Gordon Liddy mustache.
It's a G.

Speaker 2 Gordon Liddy mustache.

Speaker 3 Are you going to shave your head, too?

Speaker 2 I mean, it's a car accident what's happening up there right now. Can we see it?

Speaker 2 That's a real kind of... Yeah, it's all dyed black.
That's great.

Speaker 3 That's pretty short, but you can, was it his, was his shorter?

Speaker 2 No, it wasn't actually, because we're playing in 71, so it was, he was kind of a little bit freer with his hair. In the 60s, he was.

Speaker 2 When did he have the full cue ball?

Speaker 3 Yeah, what point was that?

Speaker 2 That was later on. Those are the Miami Vice days.

Speaker 3 Are we doing those days in the show?

Speaker 2 No, we we are sticking just to the to the uh to the breakout damn you look good with that short hair

Speaker 3 and the glasses that change with the light inside and out those are part of the character or those just your no these are mine just so i can see you these are my readers so i can we're all wearing except for will's not wearing glasses we're all wearing jason's glasses are so strong that you know what i do need though i do need uh like our friend jen she's got those those glasses that have sort of the stuff to read at the bottom and then the stuff to see far at the top that's what these are oh my God.

Speaker 3 What's it called?

Speaker 2 Bifocals, you fucking.

Speaker 2 This is planet Earth.

Speaker 2 Everything can be referenced to a Duran Duran song. By the way, Justin, where do you fall on Duran Duran? I love Duran Duran.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Tremendous band.
Now,

Speaker 2 JT,

Speaker 2 so.

Speaker 3 Check your Wikipedia page, Will, for your next question.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to ask him about his question. I know he's from D.C.
I know his mom is Phyllis. I know that, you know, he's a graduate of Bennington College.
I know, you see, I didn't even look.

Speaker 2 He's a genius. I didn't even look, and I know he's from the neighborhood.
We used to live in the same neighborhood, the same knocker in the neighborhood. Exactly the same neighborhood.

Speaker 1 I want to know because

Speaker 1 you are a creature of the theater like I am when I

Speaker 1 spend a lot of time in the theater.

Speaker 3 He loves the boards.

Speaker 1 You still love doing that?

Speaker 1 Do you prefer one over the other? Or do you like crave to read?

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 I get a lot of flag for saying this. No one gives me any flack because I haven't said it.
But But

Speaker 2 I don't love doing theater anymore. What? I just don't record.

Speaker 2 We're going to add a record scratch.

Speaker 2 Yeah. No.
The word. We'll add it in.

Speaker 2 No, but

Speaker 2 I don't find it.

Speaker 2 It's fun for the first like week, like doing Williamstown or something like that, I would do.

Speaker 2 But I'm sure, or maybe you haven't experienced this, but you can do a play and then you get like a, like, sort of a shrug of a review.

Speaker 2 And then all of a sudden, half your half house empties out, and then you're doing it for the next.

Speaker 3 Tracy's giving a big amen to this. I know.

Speaker 2 Well, Justin, how long did you do? You did a bunch of theater in New York over the years, I know, and you have an extensive resume in that department. So you had the, what was the big one you did?

Speaker 2 Shopping and fucking was a big hit, right? What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Language.
It was a, yeah, it was small theater, big hit. Small theater, big hit, but it got a great review.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a good name for an autobiography.

Speaker 2 I was just going to say,

Speaker 2 was that a couple months' run? What was it? I forget what that was. That was a decent run.
It was at the New York Theater Workshop. I don't know.
I think we did it for three months.

Speaker 2 I don't, I can't remember. And it was a a great cast, too, right? It was, it was, yeah.
Me, Jenny Dundas, Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yeah.
Yeah. Torkoal Campbell, a Canadian.

Speaker 1 So you don't like the fact that you have to, but you know, you don't do musicals because plays are only like two to three months, right?

Speaker 2 Musicals. Shut up, Sean.

Speaker 1 Shut up, Sean.

Speaker 2 Shut up, Sean.

Speaker 3 Sometimes we just make each other laugh, Justin, and you're just going to have to wait.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 3 We love each other.

Speaker 2 That's why we're doing it.

Speaker 3 We're not doing it for the money.

Speaker 2 It's such an awful.

Speaker 3 You know, listener, Justin Thoreau is one of our best writers in Hollywood. Best and brightest.

Speaker 3 But he is, he just can't find the time to fit it in because of all of his great acting opportunities too, right?

Speaker 2 He's too handsome to write. He's too handsome to write.

Speaker 2 I got sort of heartbroken by it because you start writing something and then you can work for something on for, you know, a year, year and a half, and then it can either go onto a shelf or someone buys your property and then it gets sort of just not made.

Speaker 2 So it's, it's, it's, when it's working, it's fabulous.

Speaker 1 When it's just again, people who don't know, you've written tons of great things. The two, two of the bigger ones is Tropic Thunder and Iron Man.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But Justin, like you, so you were, you and I were roughly the same age.
I'm a little older than you, although you can't tell, but

Speaker 2 in the 90s, in the 90s, well, I'm not wearing glasses to cover my eyes, but in the 90s,

Speaker 2 in the 90s, just don't look at my neck. Don't look at my neck.
Don't look at my neck.

Speaker 2 When you're just don't look at my neck, that's the whole data. Don't look at my neck a lot.

Speaker 2 I'm creeping.

Speaker 2 By the way, I'm going to start investing in turtlenecks. I'm going to open a turtleneck store in Beverly Hills, and I'm going to kill it.

Speaker 3 Only Richard Ehrlich can wear a turtleneck.

Speaker 2 You should support a dickie. I should support Richard Ehrlich gets a shout out on the podcast.
God with a dickie Earl.

Speaker 2 There we go. But you were in the 90s.
I remember we didn't really know each other back then, but I'd see your name on sign-in sheets and audition and I'd kind of see you around.

Speaker 2 You were a guy who was getting, who was doing a lot of stuff. You were doing, again, I brought up shopping and fucking, that was a great production that everybody was very cool.

Speaker 2 And it was you and Phil Hoffman and a bunch of, Jenny Dundas and a bunch of cool people.

Speaker 2 But what was that switch when you started, when writing became, there was a moment there for a couple of years where you really prioritized writing. Was that a conscious decision?

Speaker 2 How did that switch kind of like that? It's like everything else in my stupid career. I just, it was kind of tripping upstairs.

Speaker 2 it was it was ben stiller uh became i was doing a play actually on broadway and ben stiller's then girlfriend was in it and i was a big ben stiller nerd for the ben stiller show which was a show that was recently on fox and got canceled but it was a big cult with bob odenkirk and everybody yeah anyway um and i loved that show and then i sort of when he came back stage I started sort of doing the show back to him like you do when you're a fan of something like that and then we became friends and then I started sort of writing kind of or helping him or working with him and sort of punching punching up his appearances on, you know, Letterman or Conan and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 And then he was, he was really like, you should write. You should actually write something.
And so

Speaker 2 basically, he had a rough pitch for Tropic Thunder. And he said,

Speaker 2 what do you think of this idea? And we basically just, for a couple of years, just batted it back and forth on email,

Speaker 2 just making each other laugh. And then that was really kind of the first thing I wrote.
That's amazing. Amazing.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that movie is so good.

Speaker 2 But it was luck. I mean, it was also him kind of, you know, he's an incredible writer, and he is incredibly good at sort of,

Speaker 2 you know, knowing the language of comedy and how it works, you know, and structure. He's really good at structure as well.
So it was sort of like getting a PhD

Speaker 2 comedy from Ben Stiller. But it was very kind of him to encourage me to do it.

Speaker 3 Justin,

Speaker 3 I was enjoying your, was it Esquire cover right now?

Speaker 3 with you and the dog on the front.

Speaker 3 Thanks.

Speaker 3 I got the magazine right, yes?

Speaker 2 When you said you were enjoying it, what does that mean? Well, don't worry about it. Fucking enjoy it.
It means you saw it. Don't say I enjoyed it.

Speaker 2 Which also means it didn't even crack the spice. I enjoyed

Speaker 2 the visual on the front.

Speaker 2 Bateman can't fucking read.

Speaker 3 Great picture. I love the pictures.

Speaker 2 I love the pictures. And then I've opened it, and then there are all these squiggly lines in black.
How did that? So

Speaker 3 how did the dog get on the cover? Was the dog just kind of like being annoying, sniffing around your feet while you're trying to take the picture? And the photographer said, ah, fuck it.

Speaker 2 Just put the dog in the shot well she was on set with when we were doing the photo shoot and then at the end of the day it was a classic like yeah photographers do this trick all the time um no it and uh the photographer just said why don't you why don't we get a picture of you and kumo you know and so i said all right great and she jumped up there and then and what was the cover for was it a story on you or a project or

Speaker 2 a story ostensibly on me but you know i've been promoting mosquito coast the show that just mosquito coast now streaming on all apples a great show and worth your time everybody worth your time if you want to see mosquito coast starring Justin Thoreau now on Apple.

Speaker 2 There we go.

Speaker 2 Can I steal that little loop of it? Yeah, dude. Because Will's got a voice.

Speaker 2 Him saying that is worth a good pipes for what he's done. Thank you.

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And they kind of made us look legit because otherwise it would have been, you know, milk crates and,

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Speaker 2 And then he thought that maybe we were professional, we're not just a bunch of clowns. To be honest, there was a point where I got so comfortable, I forgot that I was in front of an audience.

Speaker 2 I was sitting back on that nice Ashley couch and I was just hanging out with my buds in my living room.

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Speaker 3 and now back to the show i want to get back to the to the photo shoot so it seems to me i couldn't tell by the framing but it looked like because kuma was taking up quite a bit of the shot that

Speaker 3 Your arms were bare, but you rarely wore sleeves anyway. I can't really tell.
Were you topless before Kuma came into the shot?

Speaker 2 And if so, I was topless before Kuma. This is a great question.
This is a great area.

Speaker 2 I'm glad you were case you being topless reminded me of a flight we once took together can you walk the audience through your sleeping let me tell you let me tell you something let's have it you know so to listener um oh I think I know that Jason told me that story this is this is a story so I got a I got an email listener there's a thing called a publicist and and sometimes when people are about to write untruths about you, they show you what they're about to write and they say, do you want to comment?

Speaker 2 You say, no, I don't want to comment. That's absurd.

Speaker 2 Then I got an email saying um uh the inquirer or something is going to run a story that you're a nudist and that you sleep naked on you get naked on airplanes um and that you uh and that and we thought it was hilarious and i was kind of toying with the idea of writing back like a sort of a joke comment you know to comment on the story obviously we just ignored it and then like A year later, we were hanging out and you reminded me, you said, God, remember when we went to fucking London together and you got fucking naked on the plane?

Speaker 2 And I was like, no, I didn't get naked. And you said, yeah, you did.
And we were leaving LAX. We were getting on a night flight, you know, big, long, 11-hour deal.

Speaker 2 And I do take my shirt off because I don't like to sleep in pachella. So then I assume that I laid down on the battlefield.
But hold on. That's

Speaker 2 a gym cabin. It's not lonely.
I don't care.

Speaker 3 It's a public space.

Speaker 2 I'm in a cubicle. We were in first class.

Speaker 2 I slid down. You're right on the outside.
Listen, no. And I'm a total knockaround guy.
I don't always fly first class. First of all, this isn't a guy.
He's not humping it in 38J, okay?

Speaker 2 Exactly. I'm not putting my feet up on someone else's baby or doing that.
He's in two-way because only a clown goes in the first row, okay? So he's in two ways.

Speaker 3 But look, if you sleep with your shirt off when you're at home, that doesn't mean that, hey, listen, this is just the way I sleep.

Speaker 2 When you're on a plane, let me tell you, by the way, how do you plan it? This is Jason. This is Jason.

Speaker 2 We get on the plane.

Speaker 2 We haven't even gotten off the tarmac. He's already in the fucking pajamas there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're comfortable, you know?

Speaker 2 Toothbrush in his mouth. He's got his slippers on.
And it's just like you are at home.

Speaker 3 You can recreate your home exactly when you're which is okay if it if it involves being clothed now you you sleep I'm imagining naked usually how much do you imagine it?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 3 it depends if the Esquire magazine's nearby

Speaker 3 Do you still to this day take your top off when you go to bed on a plane?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because that's gross.

Speaker 2 I do but I have a blanket so I cover myself

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I'm like underneath

Speaker 2 Jason He's not on the shuttle from New York to DC with his shirt off well whatever plane he's on, you know, that little tiny blanket will come off about 20 minutes into your sleep.

Speaker 2 He's in the front.

Speaker 2 Everyone's asleep on the plane. It's pitch black.
He's on Emirates.

Speaker 2 He's on British Airways.

Speaker 1 Touching

Speaker 1 the Germany seat from somebody else.

Speaker 2 Next time I do this, I'm going to take the blanket. I'm going to cut a slit in the center of it.
I'm just going to wear it like that.

Speaker 2 That's exactly right.

Speaker 1 Now, white, one time I flew from L.A.

Speaker 1 to London and also in first class, and I didn't, we were so excited with my friend Reyna, and we took ambien because we're like, we're going to get on that clock real fast, right?

Speaker 1 I took ambien and then that didn't work because we were so excited. Then I drank wine and I couldn't

Speaker 1 get to sleep, couldn't get to sleep. So while everybody's sleeping over at the Atlantic Ocean,

Speaker 1 I went to each person in the cabin about two inches from their lips and I pretended to kiss each person.

Speaker 2 Oh, God. Good night.
Good night.

Speaker 3 Good night. So you handle your drugs pretty well.

Speaker 2 This is one of those stories where they arrest you when you land and it's like Sean Hayes fucking loses his mind.

Speaker 2 I one time took like a I took like an ambient. I was going on an overnight flight to Scandinavia and because I don't want to get too specific, you guys.
And

Speaker 2 so I'm flying because I want follow-up questions. Where were you going?

Speaker 2 So I was going to Stockholm. Thanks for asking.
So I'm flying and I take the ambien right as we pull away from the gate.

Speaker 2 We get on the tarmac and then there's like obviously like a like a slowdown on the tarmacs. I'm like, Jesus Christ.
And I can't put my seat back yet. And I'm like, oh, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 We finally take off and my seat won't go back. I mean,

Speaker 2 I'm freaking

Speaker 2 so I try, and I can't call my publicist because I'm in the air, and I can't call all my Hollywood Elite support. I can't call my Hollywood Elite Support crew.
What about your team?

Speaker 2 And I finally have to get, no, I had them come. I helped.
We mechanically put the seat back, but I'm in that ambient. I'm 45 minutes into an ambient, and I've never been more out of it in my life.

Speaker 2 It was the weirdest experience.

Speaker 3 What's the matter with you guys? Where do you get your ambient? Do you cook it up and shoot it in the back of your knee or something?

Speaker 2 Like, it's real easy.

Speaker 2 It just puts you to bed. I get it where everybody else gets it.
It was in the men's room at the Greyhound station, man. Uh-oh, there's your problem.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 Anyway, Justin, thank you for being here.

Speaker 2 Justin,

Speaker 3 what's your current drug intake? What's your favorite right now?

Speaker 2 What are you enjoying? No.

Speaker 2 A strong cup of coffee. There you go.
Okay,

Speaker 1 my two favorite questions to ask actors.

Speaker 1 On that line, what is the craziest drug you ever took and what was the reaction and then i need a really funny tragic uh stage theater stage story oh my god sorry sorry i'm sorry

Speaker 2 we're we're just gonna be those are my favorite questions i got a kid here from a student newspaper and uh you know we're just we're fucking you know giving him a shit

Speaker 2 and then if you have an up-tempo song we would love to hear that and also and what's your favorite musical like sean i told you earlier shut up

Speaker 2 i like hearing tragic i know

Speaker 2 i'm trying to think of like a good, I mean, I sure have good theater story. I mean, I did was doing a production of loot one time.

Speaker 3 Have you ever tried to be a singer or a dancer?

Speaker 3 No, I've never tried. What about in the, will you even sing in the shower or in your car when you're alone?

Speaker 2 You know what, you know, you know what Justin does? Justin invented Sing for Real, which we've now done for years. It's a great game.
It's a great game. Wait, what is it?

Speaker 2 Which is you pick, a song comes on the radio and we were, and the first time we did it, we were on vacation, Justin, you remember, and this like Rolling Stones, like Start Me Up or something came on, and Justin just goes, he says to me, and he goes, sing for real.

Speaker 2 No, because you were going like this. You were going like, stop me? You're kind of doing like a pussy footer.

Speaker 2 No, you weren't doing it for real. And then I said, I said, don't, don't fuck around.
Sing it for real. Like as if you were fucking like auditioning for the audition of a lifetime.

Speaker 2 And you can't cheat it. You can't do a joke.
You have to really sing it as if you think you're good. You have to go like, stop me up.
Stop me up.

Speaker 3 No, no, we get it, Will.

Speaker 2 No, no, got it.

Speaker 2 We got it. Right? Like, like that.

Speaker 2 But you could go even realer than that.

Speaker 3 No, we don't need another take.

Speaker 2 It's so embarrassing it's the most embarrassing i love it it makes for people who are just humming along to something and you go stop it yes who sings this song not you sing for sing it for real or don't sing i'm shocked at how bad a singer i am and how bad a dancer i am too i'd like to see both i'd like to see you dance it's just horrendous um justin back to the first question what's the weirdest drug you ever took and what was the reaction The weirdest drug I ever took, I did once try to smoke that,

Speaker 2 you know, because weirdly, I don't love smoking pot.

Speaker 2 It kind of makes me uh you know i can do that like in mini mini mini doses like you know um and someone had some um some of that stuff you get at like a smoke a head shop or something that's

Speaker 2 basically bass salts and i took a hit of that and i thought i was i'm even getting anxious just talking about it it made me feel like i was slipping away and i did not like that feeling um what was the next question did you call anybody that you that you you regret having uh called god that's who i called i mean in my head i just bottle him up and I'll forget him.

Speaker 2 Make this go away.

Speaker 2 The only time I ever pray is when I'm salt.

Speaker 1 When you were a kid, when you were a little kid, what made you want to be an actor? Who would you, who did you see?

Speaker 2 Was it the pain? Was it the pain of your childhood?

Speaker 2 Was it all the real pain of your childhood?

Speaker 2 The not seeing of my parents. Yeah, was it the door slamming behind your dad?

Speaker 2 Exactly. Just gonna go get a beer.

Speaker 2 Boy, that's a long beer.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he'll be back any minute. I swear to God.
You're going to walk in that door because he misses me.

Speaker 3 But what was the big draw to

Speaker 3 acting for you? Was it a lifelong thing or was it something that you kind of stumbled into in college? It wasn't.

Speaker 2 I mean, again, it wasn't.

Speaker 2 In college, I studied visual art, a language, and drama. But I did them as like double majors.

Speaker 3 The visual art, sorry, was that drawing? Because I don't know if you guys know this, but Justin's like an incredible artist.

Speaker 2 Oh, really?

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. That's very common.
In fact, he can tattoo the hell out of your kid if you want to have one.

Speaker 2 My God. I have that great picture.
Tell that story. Tell the story.

Speaker 3 He takes a Sharpie to my.

Speaker 2 Well, no, they come over and they want tattoos because they know I can't. They say they don't give me a tattoo.

Speaker 2 No, they ask for.

Speaker 3 But then you turn my eight-year-old at the time, maybe six-year-old daughter around.

Speaker 2 I say, I'm going to do a big bat on your back. And then she goes, Great.
And then I do a big, huge wu-tang

Speaker 2 in Sharpie. And then Jason goes, hey, man, she's got grad, she's graduating sixth grade tomorrow.

Speaker 2 I'm like, well, is she wearing a crop top? I mean, come on. I know.
Give me a break. She wanted a tag.

Speaker 3 All right, so you're in college, you're studying visual arts, and you think to yourself, self?

Speaker 2 And then move to New York, and I'm going to try visual arts or acting.

Speaker 2 And I kind of tried both, you know, so I would audition, and then I would get jobs like doing like murals and t-shirts for clubs or bars, anywhere where I could, I did a couple billboards.

Speaker 2 Did you have a tag crew? Yeah, I used to run with a pretty rough group of taggies.

Speaker 1 What made you want to go to New York, though, is that what made you?

Speaker 2 It was that thing. That was the thing that I really wanted to do more than anything in the world.

Speaker 2 And it was, it's like, it's, you know, how some people just, when they're kids, they just go, like, that's the place I'm going to go and that's where I want to be. Right.
That was it for me.

Speaker 2 Like every movie I saw. Oh, so there was, you know, it was always movies like Rocky or Flash Dance, which were both in Philly, by the way.

Speaker 2 But it was,

Speaker 2 but I thought in my brain they they were in New York, you know, so

Speaker 3 I've always had that lust for Manhattan and I've never been able to live there.

Speaker 2 You've done stints there, yeah.

Speaker 3 But I've never had a place there, you know, I've never had a key on my on my ring where I could, like, I have, I have clothes there and I have food in the refrigerator, and you know, yeah, well, you know what?

Speaker 2 You don't have the stomach for it, man. Yeah, you know,

Speaker 2 you know, you don't have the stomach, it takes a particular kind of guy.

Speaker 2 It takes a certain kind of, you know, that's my favorite bit when Will's in LA and I call, or I'll always know where Will is because I'll call or he'll call me and if he's speaking like this, he'll go, hello.

Speaker 2 Oh, boy. Then I know he's in New York.
I'm like, oh, what are you doing, Will? He's like, just kicking around, you know. Yeah.
I might go over to Ms. Vazul's house later tonight.

Speaker 2 We're back in the neighborhood. And I'm like, yeah, they stirred a big pot of gravy over here.

Speaker 2 Remember when the neighborhood used to be the real neighborhood?

Speaker 2 We were knockaround guys.

Speaker 2 The pubcap was first bass. We played stick ball.
We stick a stick. We played stick ball just till the show went down.

Speaker 2 And it got too hot.

Speaker 2 We'd open up the fire. We'd open up the fire.

Speaker 2 It was all bathing. It was the best thing in the world.
Jumped through. Jumped right through it, you know?

Speaker 2 Jump right through it. It's the only way to cool off in that hot summer heat.
But you know what? Cross Brocks Highway.

Speaker 2 And you feel the grime on the back of your neck, and then you hear the dinner bell ring, and you gotta go. Yeah, I get a smack in the back of my head from Father Pazoo.

Speaker 2 I was an altar boy. I was an altar boy.
My new V's that morning, or whatever it was. I was an altar boy, but we were knock on.
I was an altar boy, but we used to get into such trouble.

Speaker 2 But don't cross Monsignor Montgomery. You know what

Speaker 2 Monsignor Montgomery.

Speaker 2 So, wait a minute. We do hours.
Thoreau and I would do hours of this. And then we would do anything.
That would actually be the whole phone call.

Speaker 2 The other one we used to do was the hangover one, which used to make me laugh.

Speaker 2 Will would call me up and go, and I would always answer, like, it started because I would always answer like, and it'd be like 4 p.m. It'd be like 4 p.m.

Speaker 2 And he'd go, hey, man, it's Will.

Speaker 2 Are you awake? Yeah, what time is it?

Speaker 2 Panic. By the way, the panic in his voice and I'd go, what do you mean it was away? It's 4 p.m.
It's Monday. What do you mean? Monday and Monday.

Speaker 3 Started drinking again.

Speaker 2 What's going on? Oh, no, I just, I don't, where were we last night? We did, we also used to do, Sean, Sean, I did this to you yesterday. We used to also do like Justin pick up and go, you go, hello.

Speaker 2 And I go, hey, Justin, I've got Will for you. And then,

Speaker 2 and then I'd, and I'd come on and I'd go, hey, Justin, you'd go, hi, Will. I just lost him.
Just lost him waiting for Justin to get back. And we'd be each other's assistants.

Speaker 2 We'd be each other's assistants.

Speaker 3 Tracy, this is a Hollywood back and forth kind of thing.

Speaker 2 You know, listener, I'm so sorry. You know, listen to these guys laughing about their fake assistants.
By the way, neither of us had assistants at the time, so that was the best part.

Speaker 2 That's really funny. So, Justin, John, did you ever get to the bottom of his favorite color?

Speaker 3 Nail him down on this show.

Speaker 2 I'm trying to steer it. Don't let him wiggle off.
Steer it there.

Speaker 1 Exactly. I'm trying to steer your guest into some information, Will.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Will, where's your questions, goddamn it?

Speaker 2 Instead of getting ragged on for being naked on planes,

Speaker 2 you spend all the time shaming him for being in good shape and being moved on commercial airplanes.

Speaker 1 I want to know, though, I want to know who those people, who the inspirations were, though, Justin, rather than just those movies that made you want to go to New York to be an actor, like, were there specific actors or specific things that made you go, I want to do that.

Speaker 1 That looks super fun. Or was it?

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 2 I mean, I think I love loved movies the same way that everyone loves movies, but there was, I mean, I didn't have like one of those like galvanizing moments of like, oh my God, you know, I want to do that.

Speaker 2 Weirdly, actually, you want to, this is going to sound really odd, but I was very touched by, when I was little, by a movie of the week that Henry Winkler did.

Speaker 2 where he played like a

Speaker 2 janitor or something in like a high school. And then he sort of, I can't really remember the plot exactly, but he basically would act.

Speaker 2 And that's when he would like have like, that's when he was most himself. Well, but, but Justin,

Speaker 3 how do you feel about the insecurity,

Speaker 3 the thing that you can't count on being hired as an actor because you don't walk around with a diploma from medical school? And thus.

Speaker 2 It's the worst thing in the world. I mean, early on, I mean, I'm knock on wood.
I'm very lucky, as we all are in this chat.

Speaker 2 But, you know, the worst part about being an actor is obviously you can't act at home. You can't just sit around and do it.

Speaker 2 You know, if you're a painter you can sit home and paint you can play cello at home you can't really sit home and act um early on you really need permission someone has to give you permission to do it and that's the worst part about it but i've always kind of always had like a secondary thing so like when i was auditioning it didn't not that didn't mean as much but it was like i could forget about the audition and i could go do you know mural work or i could go do something else so i had another track to sort of go down you know so i wasn't constantly just pining after i wasn't one of those people that went to auditions and then like thought about them all week and was waiting for the call.

Speaker 2 I'd do the audition and then I would forget about it. I'd treat like a lottery ticket.
That's what Jason would call it. This is where Jason is going to step in with a sexy indifference.

Speaker 3 Healthy indifference.

Speaker 2 Last time Jason auditioned, by the way, when was the last time you auditioned for somebody? Seven, eight years old?

Speaker 3 I think my last audition, I want to say my last audition was for the

Speaker 2 arrested. It might have been arrested.
It might have been arrested. You auditioned?

Speaker 3 No, I think, oh, absolutely. In fact, I've got it on my computer.
It's pretty

Speaker 2 I love to see it.

Speaker 3 If you had a mural today,

Speaker 3 well, not if you had to, would you? Could you? What subject? And would you look for like, you know, a wall somewhere to, or like, how does, how does all that?

Speaker 2 You know, I've done a couple murals for like people's like kids' rooms or things like that. You know, it would be fun.
I don't have time to do it.

Speaker 3 What if you did like some like guerrilla sort of social commentary like in the middle of the night?

Speaker 2 I'm not into that. I don't want to do that anymore.

Speaker 2 You know, I don't, I mean, I never really was like, I was, I would write a little graffiti, but I wouldn't like, I would never claim to be like in a crew or graffiti scene or whatever.

Speaker 2 I did sort of like an animation scene. Do you consider yourself on the same level as Banksy? Yeah.

Speaker 2 In a pinch. And take a minute.
Don't answer too quickly.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because

Speaker 2 have you sold, have you been, have you sold works before? Yeah, I've sold works. Oh, that's a couple pieces.
Like early, like, you know, little art shows and things really early on.

Speaker 2 But nothing like, you know, I don't think people are sitting on it like a hot stock or anything. Well, if you die soon, they will.

Speaker 2 No, I'm just pointing out, man. Listen,

Speaker 2 KT, you also have a very, you have an extensive acting resume. And one of the things, I know you did Mulholland Drive.
What was your relationship like with David Lynch?

Speaker 2 How did that sort of come about? And what was, do you still have a relationship with him? Yeah, I mean, we text and chat on the phone every now and again.

Speaker 2 And when I'm in L.A., I always try and see him.

Speaker 2 He's, you know, he's... He's one of the best directors I've ever worked with.
I mean, it sort of sounds

Speaker 2 obvious because he's such a good director, but not because of just the great films he makes, but he really is one of the kindest,

Speaker 2 most sort of explorative directors that you can possibly work with, you know, because he's giving you such incredible material and incredible leeway with what you can do.

Speaker 2 I've been lucky enough to do two things with him, both very different, but he's just like a beautiful artist.

Speaker 3 Have you ever tried any of that meditation that

Speaker 3 he's so big on?

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I have tried it. I did the whole thing.

Speaker 2 I didn't have, it's TM, transcendental meditation.

Speaker 2 I didn't have the same experiences that I feel like a lot of people who still practice it do, and probably it was because I was not a perfect practitioner.

Speaker 3 I can't figure out what the difference is between it and that space that you're at right before you fall asleep.

Speaker 2 Because it's a much more conscious way of, I mean, I'm sure you can fall asleep while meditating, but you're focused on a mantra, so you're repeating your mantra.

Speaker 2 So you're not really going to sleep, but you're resting your brain. And

Speaker 2 you're only supposed to. I will not wear sleeves.
I will not wear sleeves. I will not wear sleeves.
Sorry to speak to my mantra.

Speaker 2 That was my mantra.

Speaker 3 So you're supposed to only think about the one thing, right? That's that, it's a clarity and a singular thought that is supposed to be.

Speaker 2 I'm not an expert on this. I'm the wrong person to be asking these questions to, although I'm extremely spiritual and realized as a person.
Wow. You are.
I love that.

Speaker 2 You know, I spend a lot of time just doing stuff for other people. Yeah.
Yeah. I just wanted to say that as a standalone.
Yeah, okay, cool. I just wanted to get a quote.

Speaker 2 Like I wanted one of those things like on his podcast, actor Will Arnett claimed that he does a lot of stuff for other. Like that's a direct quote.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can just pull that right out.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Sean, Will, you guys don't meditate at all, do you? Have you ever done that?

Speaker 1 I have. Will's meditating right now.

Speaker 2 Uh-huh. I've done a little bit.

Speaker 3 Successful. I've done a little bit.

Speaker 3 What does it feel like if it, if you're successful, if it's working?

Speaker 2 I've done guided meditations just because I'm such a novice and I've only started within the like the last six months.

Speaker 2 I I like it. I find it very, it's a nice reset.
Sometimes it's a great way to start the day.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I guess I didn't know anything about it before. So I was like, how can it possibly, who gives a shit? And then I do it and I generally feel a little bit more present.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know how people, you know, there's a bunch of apps, but you can set it to do like a minute or two minutes or five minutes or half hour.

Speaker 2 I don't know how people do it for like 20 minutes or half hour.

Speaker 3 But the goal is, and this is a question.

Speaker 2 The goal is to throw off stress, I think.

Speaker 2 There's so much traffic in your head that and you're looking to narrow things down and just have one car on the road that's this model well you'll notice if you ever if you ever attempt it in a serious way you'll sometimes you'll be trying to do it and then a million racing thoughts of what you have to do or you know things you're worried about will come in and apparently that's not necessarily a bad thing you're supposed to just let those thoughts go through and out like the weather like a cloud that blows in and yeah you let them go like it's like it's like thoughts are like a i remember once somebody telling me like to visualize like a leaf falling off a tree that lands in a stream that's the thought.

Speaker 2 And just let it kind of go. And then you let it go and you let that thought go.
Now I got a pee.

Speaker 2 But it just keeps like those thoughts. That's natural.
And what's good about the guided meditation is, for me anyway, is it's taught me to kind of, they go, it's okay.

Speaker 2 You're having, you're thinking about all these things. Let that go.
Now focus back on your breathing.

Speaker 2 And then if you practice it for longer periods of time, then you get more relaxed. Got it.

Speaker 1 But Will, when you meditate and you listen to those guided medications, you've inserted your resume in there, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Somebody reading your resume.

Speaker 2 It's an audio version of my reel. Right.
So it's just, I'm listening to my own reel. Are you just listening to your voiceover commercials that just mellows you out?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's mainly like just the greatest hits of, you know, GMC and Reese's and old accounts. I'm not going to mention the old ones because they don't pay me anymore.

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Speaker 2 And now, back to the show.

Speaker 2 Justin,

Speaker 1 we had a guest on here

Speaker 1 fairly recently, the amazing, hilarious, gorgeous, wonderful Amy Sederis.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 And she was mentioning you.

Speaker 1 She was hilarious. And I didn't know that you were.

Speaker 2 She tore you to shreds, dude. Let's be honest.
Did she?

Speaker 3 You didn't listen to all of it.

Speaker 2 She ripped you a fucking new one. I don't know if you felt the draft.

Speaker 2 Amy didn't listen to it. And then I said, You should listen to it.
You were really fun on it. And then she goes, Oh, and then I said, You know, after you got off, you know, they really praised you.

Speaker 2 It was really nice. Like, I was like, You should at least listen to it for that because they went on and on about you after you clicked off.
So, I'm dying to listen to what happens after I.

Speaker 2 She was awesome. How did you meet her?

Speaker 1 And how did this friendship blossom?

Speaker 2 I was actually

Speaker 2 full circle coming, doing that play, Shopping and fucking, and she used to work at Marion's, which was a restaurant just down the block on Bowery. Great sort of

Speaker 2 campy, like, but she was a waitress there. And she was at the time doing Strangers with Candy and Waiting Tables.
Oh, my God. Like, she would literally do like

Speaker 2 a day at Strangers and then come back, but keep, like, if she had like a black eye and a bloody nose, she would keep the makeup for the waiting tables.

Speaker 2 And like, people would ask, oh, what happened to your eye? And she'd go, oh, nothing, just a card door.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 She would just do these bits. Like, you know, that's so great.
So I would go there every night to eat after the show, me and Phil and a bunch of other people.

Speaker 2 And she would be there and she waited on us. And then we sort of became friends.

Speaker 1 Wow, I just love her to death. I just think she's

Speaker 2 amazing. She's fucking one of the best, most hilarious people.

Speaker 3 You know, I find myself staring at that beautiful face, that jawline of yours, and realize you've had that beard on for so long. What was it like when it finally came on?

Speaker 3 I mean, it's been on for like five years, right?

Speaker 2 Your beard? It's traumatic. I've had it like three or four years just because of work.

Speaker 1 Did you find anything living under there when you shaved it off?

Speaker 2 Well, it's not that I just shaved it off. It shaved it off.
And I'm sorry to listener because you can't see, but I shaved it off and then was left with this.

Speaker 2 So I didn't get to shave the whole thing off. That would have been satisfying.
To leave this on your face,

Speaker 3 40-pounder.

Speaker 2 And to know that it's a 40-pounder.

Speaker 3 I look, you know, did your skin, did you get like, did you break out? Was your skin like, what the hell's going on?

Speaker 2 I broke out over here.

Speaker 2 I had little hot spots. Like a dog.
Sure.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 I had a couple hot spots that I had to, you know, get some calming oils. I got you.

Speaker 2 And to calm the skin.

Speaker 3 We're recording this on a Saturday.

Speaker 3 What's your weekend look like up there? I'm imagining you're not working until Monday. What the hell does Justin Thoreau do with his weekend upstate?

Speaker 2 I'm going to be, I'm nervous because I'm about to start a job.

Speaker 2 And so I'm going to be reviewing all my words and breaking down my script. Practicing faces.

Speaker 2 Making faces in a mirror. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 2 And putting a pebble in in my shoe and getting a walk um looking for that one prop yeah that one thing that give me the food like the one the apple like carrot take the beat to do the long chew i'll probably sunday tomorrow jason i'll go into the prop shop and i'll cast my eyes around looking for i don't know a cane or a hat does does gordon liddy have a have a particular voice i forget that that you've been working on and i'm not asking you to give it now but have you been studying that yes i have been and do you feel confident about it no not yet no are you doing it now are you working with a dialect coach am i doing it right now yeah

Speaker 2 yeah i'm working with a dialect coach who is it is it tony it's don't guy

Speaker 2 is it tony

Speaker 2 is it reginald reginal reginal helped me with a bunch of accents my name is run

Speaker 2 is monday your first day of acting uh monday's the first day how's what he hanging in hanging in there he's great he's fantastic i love him what part's he playing i just had dinner with him i love him he's playing howard hunt he's great I love that Woody Rolls.

Speaker 3 So he's got free reign on an accent there because I don't think anybody ever really heard him except for.

Speaker 2 There's a little bit of footage on him, but yeah, he doesn't have the same pressures because my guy ended up having a fucking radio.

Speaker 3 Academy Take Notes.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you something as an actor because we were talking about it before about

Speaker 1 the schedule of an actor who does what you do, which is like film to film. And

Speaker 1 it seems like you're traveling in a way. Is it hard? Do you mind that?

Speaker 1 I mean, because to me, the older I get, and I've talked with this, with the guys at Nauseam about like just the schedule of 14-hour days, being halfway across the country.

Speaker 1 I don't know, I miss my home. I'd miss my bed too much.
I'd miss my.

Speaker 3 Let's just hold on there for one second.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Sean, when you were doing Will and Grace,

Speaker 3 first of all, a multi-cam show is historically the cushiest rated schedule.

Speaker 2 And specifically that.

Speaker 2 Of the six hours you worked in any given week on Will and Grace. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Five of which were lunch hours.

Speaker 2 Five of which was just counting money.

Speaker 2 Five of those hours was just counting cash. Did you?

Speaker 2 No, you know. You know what? Justin's life, by the way, I can answer this kind of for Justin.
Have you ever seen The Dresser?

Speaker 2 Justin's life is very much like Albert, he's very much like Albert Finney in the dresser. That's his life.

Speaker 3 If you've ever seen it, not Tom Courtney.

Speaker 2 No, and I'm the Tom Courtney to his Albert Finney. Shall we make a stop?

Speaker 2 Come on, time to get wakey and put on your clothes. Shall we make a stop? How do we make a stop? Stop.
And then he's like, stop that train. Let them know you're coming.

Speaker 2 Let them know you're coming.

Speaker 3 So, all right, so tomorrow we're going to practice faces and voices just a little bit. And what time will we go to bed to make sure we're properly rested for Monday's work?

Speaker 2 Make a handful of ambien for myself

Speaker 2 at around nine o'clock.

Speaker 3 Shoot it between your toes this time. It might affect you differently.

Speaker 2 Do you get first aid jitters now when you're going to work and start like every time you start something new? It's not jitters. It's just kind kind of like the butterflies and the thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they do, of course. Because you haven't done the character yet.
So, if you're, if it's at all a swing, I love people that go into jobs totally confident. I mean, I wish I could do that.

Speaker 2 You have rehearsals? What kind of scene do you have? Is it a big, juicy scene on Monday, or is it a big, juicy? It's a good tip. We're actually shooting slightly in order, which is nice.
So, it

Speaker 2 was rare, Sean. Tell the listener.

Speaker 1 So, when you shoot a film, it's all about the schedule and locations and actors, and you shoot it out of order a lot of times. And then that's what editing is they put it all together in the right

Speaker 1 place

Speaker 2 jason remember the acting lessons i used to give you jason yes oh god those ones i used to say did not work

Speaker 3 what time but really what tell me what uh i'm fascinated by by by people's sleep patterns what time because you strike me as a night owl i seem to remember i'm always the one that goes to bed super early as you know

Speaker 2 um what time will you be going to bed for uh for start of work on i imagine you start top of day here's the best thing is that me and woody are kind of um aligned on this, which was we're shooting in a stage.

Speaker 2 So with obviously there's no light dependency issues. So he was like, why don't we just get in there at like 9 o'clock? And I'm like, great.

Speaker 2 So I think we're going to start it like on set at 9, which is not a, it's really brutal when it's like 4.46 rehearsal.

Speaker 3 So what time are you going to go to bed for a 9 a.m. call?

Speaker 2 I'll probably go to bed at 10. 10.
Nice. You thought Sean's question about how the schedule of a movie is.

Speaker 3 I'm not done yet, Arnett.

Speaker 2 And you want to get into what fucking time is going to be. I'm not done.
I'm not done.

Speaker 2 Here's the.

Speaker 2 Snooze on your thing. Yeah,

Speaker 2 here's the follow-up.

Speaker 3 Well, how much earlier than before?

Speaker 3 How do I say this? This is tough for me. When will you get up? How much early?

Speaker 2 Are you a commissioner of any rotisserie baseball leagues that you need to service before work? Like,

Speaker 1 how much time before your call do you give yourself?

Speaker 2 Thank you. You know, like in a theater when people can leave,

Speaker 2 when you're doing a play, you would know that. Sean Jason would know nothing about it.
That you can hear the seats going

Speaker 2 as people leave because they hate the place.

Speaker 2 What's the podcast version of that?

Speaker 3 It's a laptop slam.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 we wouldn't be able to hear ourselves. I just want to know what your morning routine is.

Speaker 3 You got to get up super early.

Speaker 2 Here it is, really quickly, Jason. I make a shake.

Speaker 2 I pre-make a smoothie with spinach and bananas and some bay rice. I put that in the fridge.

Speaker 3 This is what I want to know. That's it.

Speaker 2 That's cold. That goes into the fridge.
Then I have a green juice that I also put in the fridge. This is all before 10.30 at night.

Speaker 2 Then I wake up in the morning, I shower, I put the thing on the blender, and I go, I pour it into a to-go cup. I take my green juice with me.
When do you shower? Do you do body or hair first?

Speaker 3 Sorry, I just borrow soap or loofah and just a little bit of a fish.

Speaker 2 Do you have a conditioner first? Because then you want to wash the rinse the conditioner out. Then you want to do soap after the conditioner to get it out of your arm.

Speaker 3 So now you're at the blender and you do your shake and you take your shake to work and everything. Do you not do you not chew, eat anything until like lunch?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I kind of do. I try and keep it liquid

Speaker 2 until I get hungry.

Speaker 3 A lunch and dinner guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, keep it liquid that's it yeah keep it liquid yeah what do you what do you do jason i mean aside from

Speaker 2 uh here we go packet of almonds in here

Speaker 2 you know what it is it's just 12 12 almonds a fucking thimble of water and then just pining

Speaker 2 pining after fucking sweets i'll never be throw thin i mean this guy god damn it i don't know how you do it well have you always had uh no no he used to eat like a fucking animal he was he used to be addicted to sugar you want to this is actually remember when pinkberry came out will Yes.

Speaker 2 And we'd meet every night at the Pinkberry. You'd ride your bike over.

Speaker 2 This was Will on a health kick. He would get, he would, he'd say, let's meet a pinkberry.
There's this new thing called Pinkberry, and it's frozen yogurt. And you can get all you, you know.

Speaker 2 I'd go over there. And he's like, you can eat whatever, as much as you want.
It's basically, it's sugar-free, it's fat-free.

Speaker 2 It's like nothing. It's like nothing.

Speaker 2 And so I'd go over, we'd go to the pink, there was a pinkberry on Bleecker Street, and Will would get, it was like a Kentucky fried chicken tub, you know, like a bucket.

Speaker 2 And they would just swirl it like and it would be about a foot high and he'd be like and you can just eat it and you could meanwhile his gut was expoiling

Speaker 2 water and water and then it was revealed that it's not really yogurt like i don't even know what it is but i mean it was but he used to do that but also like before that back in the day but in the day before that day we used to go for dinner and then each one of us they the we used to go and the the waitress would go uh do you guys want any dessert and each of us would go i'm fine i don't want anything But I think he probably wants the Sunday.

Speaker 2 Sunday. And like as if we're ordering for each other.

Speaker 2 I'm good. Obviously,

Speaker 2 he wants.

Speaker 2 I know what he wants because he was telling me before the meeting.

Speaker 3 Justin, this is all making me very wistful for the past. Can you please move back out to Los Angeles and re-enter our lives?

Speaker 2 I'll be there. I'm actually going to be, I'll be out there working a little bit at the end of the summer, so I hope I get to see you.

Speaker 3 This is a part of the job you're starting on Monday? Yeah.

Speaker 2 We're we're going to finish in LA, I think. Oh, you are.
They'll be out there with you. Justin, I would love to have a meal with you.
Yeah, let's come back to you.

Speaker 3 Wait your turn, Sean. He's going to take care of me and Will first.
Well,

Speaker 2 I'm going to see him in New York. I'm going to see him in New York.
He's going to come out to the house.

Speaker 2 You come to New York. He's going to come out to Long Island.
He's back on the block. He's going to be on Long Island up to the house.
He's going to come up to the Louis.

Speaker 2 He's going to come up with the house. The guy lands.
The guy lands. He's going to bring Woody, me, him, and Woody.
We're going to have. Oh, we're going to have laughs.
Oh, we have a bull.

Speaker 2 Oh, the laughs.

Speaker 2 Oh, the laughs. He will cry.
And then we'll laugh again.

Speaker 2 There's so much else to get into. I don't even know.

Speaker 3 You haven't asked one question of your guest.

Speaker 2 That's not true. That's not fucking true.

Speaker 3 Tell me one question that you did any research on.

Speaker 2 I just asked the thing about becoming a writer. I asked the thing about David Lynch.
Resume? Yeah. That's so.

Speaker 2 So tell us about Iron Man 2. No, no, all jokes aside.
You worked on Iron Man 2. You and Downey became really tight on Tropic.
Tropic Thunder. We had such a fucking blast making that movie.

Speaker 2 And I know Downey through you originally. Yeah.
And through that experience, he was like, Iron Man 2, it's all you guy.

Speaker 2 Well, he, at the time, he thought, I mean, this is, you know, I'm sure he would say this. He was like, I don't, I think this movie's going to tank.
Like, Iron, talking about Iron Man.

Speaker 2 And we were on the set of Tropic Thunder, and he showed me the trailer, and I was like, dude, and Iron Man was one of my favorite characters.

Speaker 2 And I said, you better buckle the fuck up because this thing's going to be exploding. Like, and you better have your both seatbelts on.
And he was like, I don't think so. I don't think.

Speaker 2 And then, of course, the rest is history. Going down, he's like, I don't even have a seatbelt.
Forget it.

Speaker 2 I cut them both out of the car.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, and then it exploded. And then, so when that happened, he immediately

Speaker 2 was like, why don't you come and meet with the Marvel guy? So I went over and met with them.

Speaker 2 And it's, you know, it's, it is one of those things that it's, you know, I'd love to take the credit, but you have to share the credit because Kevin Feige and Jeremy Latcham and Favreau and all those guys, it's absolutely a team effort in coming up with all the stories.

Speaker 2 And they, you know, Feige knows that property, knows all his properties so well. He's so, he's the biggest fan of Hamptons.

Speaker 3 He's got south of France.

Speaker 2 A lot of properties.

Speaker 2 Different properties. Different properties.

Speaker 2 Lives very modestly, by the way. Yeah.
Lives very modestly, Jason. So take that into account.
Yeah, Jason. And Sean, sitting there in your mansion, we can hear the echo in your mansion, Sean.

Speaker 1 Okay. I don't even know where Scotty is.
First, like three days. Haven't found him.

Speaker 2 It's unbelievable how out of touch you are. Check the world.
So what was that experience like, though?

Speaker 2 Once you get into that world, you're exposed to, first of all, the fans, of course, have only grown even more rapid, but like when you're in that kind of, for lack of a better term, machine of Marvel in that world, there's a lot of pressure.

Speaker 2 There is, but at the same time,

Speaker 2 again, you know, Feige and Favreau at the time are such good shepherds of material that they're really the ones sort of at the steering wheel. And And again, keep in mind, this was before Avengers.

Speaker 2 I mean, I was so blown away. I wrote Kevin an email after I saw, you know, the first Avengers.
And I was like, it was like he made Star Wars in reverse.

Speaker 2 It was like this, I couldn't believe how, like, because, you know, it felt like we were sort of throwing in Easter eggs, you know, like, you know, Thor's hammer shows up in the coda of something.

Speaker 2 You know, and you think, where is this going? Or is this, are these just sort of pointless Easter eggs? And of course, not. And there is a grand design to it.
Super clever and super smart.

Speaker 2 So my follow-up question is, how many t-shirts are you wearing right now?

Speaker 2 Two.

Speaker 3 I count. I can see two.

Speaker 2 Because sometimes it's no, no, sometimes it's like really loose.

Speaker 2 Hold on one second. Well, I gotta take my cans off.
Sorry, listener. Headphones.

Speaker 3 Headphones. Listener, he's standing up.

Speaker 3 He's gonna show us. We've got one t-shirt.
The shirt's coming off. Oh, God, no.
No, the sleeveless shirt comes off.

Speaker 2 Underneath the t-shirt underneath. Yes.
That's what you wanted, wasn't it?

Speaker 2 There you go. So, wait, what is this?

Speaker 1 Are you known for like sleeveless t-shirts?

Speaker 2 Is that I get so much fucking fucking shit from Will for wearing sleeves.

Speaker 3 He's got shoulders.

Speaker 2 By the way, you know, I'm just jealous.

Speaker 3 Will, didn't you send him a gift once, a box of sleeves?

Speaker 2 No, I was going to. I was going to do it for his birthday.
I was going to send him a box of sleeves.

Speaker 1 Why, Justin, do you wear a sleeveless like every day?

Speaker 2 In the summertime, I do. Will,

Speaker 2 every time he would see me, he'd go, oh, guys, can we all

Speaker 2 take a moment and just

Speaker 2 mourn the loss of Justin's sleeves? All right, be Justin's sleeves.

Speaker 2 I did that once at like Thanksgiving, didn't I, when we were doing a toast? And we all did it.

Speaker 2 Which just tells you that I was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt at Thanksgiving.

Speaker 2 I know you were. But I mean, listen, it's pure jealousy.
And then the reply was always, and let's also take another moment to

Speaker 2 RIP the first top four buttons of Will's shirt because we're just a shirt off. Decollage.
I'm wearing a crew neck today. I'm wearing a crew neck today.
I know you are wearing it.

Speaker 2 I'm a little disappointed. Normally, we get something all the way down to the solar plug.
Hey, listen, I'm Euro that way.

Speaker 2 The other thing is I was going to say that for all my sort of making fun of you. You're Elise underwear.

Speaker 2 Well, my Bjornborg underwear, yeah. Oh, Bjornborg underwear.
For all the shit. Oh, and my Liverpool.
My Liverpool sweats.

Speaker 2 For all the making fun of you that I do, of course, all based out of pure jealousy.

Speaker 2 Laying it down.

Speaker 2 Justin, what a fucking delight. Thank you, bro.
Brother, it's just whatever you want. I miss you guys.
I miss you too, man. So much.

Speaker 3 But stop the madness. Let's move back out west, huh? Come on.

Speaker 2 Come on. Come back east.

Speaker 3 There's plenty of production out here.

Speaker 2 More production here, I would say.

Speaker 3 It might be true.

Speaker 2 Would you agree with that?

Speaker 1 Well, Justin, we'll go out for pizza when you get here.

Speaker 2 I can't wait. Can we really do that? Put together a day.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm coming east. He's going to come east.
You might even see me with Will.

Speaker 2 He's going to come out. Oh, shit.
So come on out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yep. All right.
I can't wait. I can't wait.

Speaker 3 Well, I love you, Justin. Love you too, buddy.

Speaker 2 Miss you. Great hanging out with you, Sean.

Speaker 2 See you.

Speaker 3 Bye, pal. Have fun on Monday.

Speaker 2 I'm going to try. Say how to Woody.
Yeah, I will. Absolutely.
I wanted to have him here. I was going to do that thing where I was going to surprise guest you guys.
I know. That would have been great.

Speaker 2 And it would have been so much fun.

Speaker 1 Justin, if you really do remember, please send my love. I just love him.
I worked with him a lot.

Speaker 2 So I really absolutely will. I love what I told him last night that I was doing.

Speaker 1 You got to get him on.

Speaker 2 Maybe I'll invite him on one of the

Speaker 2 podcasts soon. Yeah.
But can't I just add myself? Yeah. Yeah.
Yes. I mean, you guys are the way it works at Smart.
Let's just add yourself. I'm doing it now, too.
Yeah, great.

Speaker 2 JT, you're the best. Thank you, man.
Thanks for making time. I love you, guys.
We can love you too.

Speaker 3 Love you, Poe. All right.
Bye.

Speaker 3 The guy is

Speaker 3 just so damn fun, entertaining, and fun.

Speaker 3 He needs to move back west.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 He's a great guy. I don't know him.
Like I said, as well as you guys, he's so down-to-earth and like somebody you just immediately want to get to know and hang out with.

Speaker 2 He's very real. He's such a, he's his wit is so fast.
He's so fast. He's so smart.
He's so funny.

Speaker 2 And he's so sweet. He's such a sweet guy.
And he's been an unbelievable friend over the years

Speaker 2 in every way. He's one of those guys, super loyal.
He's the guy you can call

Speaker 2 at any time. And if you're going through, it doesn't matter.
He'd be the first guy there. And Jason be the last.

Speaker 3 Well, you need bookends.

Speaker 2 But I just wanted to let that settle about JT for a second. I just want to connect with you.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Okay. Can we just connect?

Speaker 3 Okay, good. No, good.

Speaker 2 Don't break eye contact. Right.
Yeah. There you go.
Don't break eye contact.

Speaker 3 So you want to say how much you really missed Justin in your life? Can we cue some music, Rob? Bennett?

Speaker 2 But I was just going to say

Speaker 2 it's like I want to make this contact. And if you need to wear glasses like the ones that Jen wears, what are they called?

Speaker 2 Bye. Bye.

Speaker 2 smart

Speaker 2 glass

Speaker 2 smart

Speaker 2 glass

Speaker 2 hey how you doing good hey how you want to get a piece of pie later yeah

Speaker 2 let's get a piece of pie

Speaker 2 we could my mom's making gravy

Speaker 2 I'm stirring the gravy ma ma I'm stirring the gravy what do you want well

Speaker 2 am I stirring the gravy sounds like no I'm not I'm gonna go help old Mrs. Stanoots with the groceries, all right? Do you see Mrs.
Stanoos didn't even pick up the sausages?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm gonna go help her with the sausages. No, I gotta go get the sausage.
I gotta go do a rose. I gotta get some rosaries.
I gotta see my new Venus, you know? I gotta get my bees.

Speaker 2 I got a lot to pray about. A lot to be grateful for.

Speaker 2 God forbid. God forbid.
God forbid.

Speaker 2 God forbid anything happens to you. Well, it'll break my heart.

Speaker 2 Will you guys do this in the fucking episode, please?

Speaker 2 There's no way that I would do that in the episode.

Speaker 2 No, no, that's just for me and Will.

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