The REAL Kitchen Nightmares | Reading Reddit Stories

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Speaker 1 Hi, welcome to Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is all tales from your server.
These are restaurant and service industry stories. They get wild.

Speaker 1 And I'm joined by two people who have worked in the service industry, Chance and Tommy. You could say we've served before.

Speaker 1 Thank you. You got your viral moment out of the way.

Speaker 1 Now we're done.

Speaker 1 Now we can just have fun. Now we can just throw it away.
Now you can relax. It's fine.

Speaker 1 Our art department decorated this place up a little bit with some restaurant things.

Speaker 1 Very nice. Restaurant.
Restaurant things.

Speaker 1 The vibes are nice. As you guys know, I started acting when I was like 13, so I never worked a normal channel.
We know

Speaker 1 that. You're a famous person.

Speaker 1 I know nothing of the real world. But you were born with the heart of a server.

Speaker 1 You respect the people that are really nice. Yes.
You respect.

Speaker 1 I'm sure you guys have plenty of nightmare stories. I think you've told them before on the show, but as we go through these stories, if you're reminded of any,

Speaker 1 please share. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 1 All right. Our first story comes from Tales from Your Server, which is a subreddit dedicated to these types of stories.
Go ahead. A lady called to warn us about her husband.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. No, no.
He's coming.

Speaker 1 You need to close down.

Speaker 1 Officially had one of the wildest experiences in my four years of serving last night. Got sat with a two and a half top.
That's two and a half people meaning a baby. Yeah.

Speaker 1 A husband, wife, and their new baby in a stroller. When the hostess came to let me know, I got sat.

Speaker 1 She informed me that the wife at the table called ahead of time to let us know that her husband was going to be very picky and difficult.

Speaker 1 Before I even got there to greet them, they asked to switch tables two times for whatever reason. No.

Speaker 1 Once they were finally situated, I go to greet them and the husband let me know immediately that they were ready to order.

Speaker 1 He proceeds to order around $130 worth of appetizers, entrees, dessert, and gets three different drinks for himself, all in one go. His wife, quiet as a mouse, just orders a drink.

Speaker 1 During his order, he was so aggressive, making demands and asking in-depth questions about every single food item he was ordering and modifying it in some way.

Speaker 1 And every few seconds while he was ordering, he'd bark and remind me, I want it hot, fresh, delicious.

Speaker 1 I filled a notebook page with this guy's order. He also asked his wife if she wanted a tequila shot, and she shook her head no.
He turned to me and said, Gotta set the mood right, you know?

Speaker 1 We just had a baby, and smirked and chuckled at me, which I did not acknowledge in any way.

Speaker 1 They got their drinks, and I was told by my coworker that the wife said she didn't like her drink and wanted to replace it.

Speaker 1 Their food started coming out while the replacement was being made, and as I was dropping the new drink off, the husband looked at me and said, Yeah, we got a big problem. I didn't like any of it.

Speaker 1 No, I apologized and said I would be right back with my manager. I immediately went to grab my manager and tell him what happened.
And as we were walking back to the table, they were gone.

Speaker 1 They left without paying their bill. We had to just comp the whole thing, but it was absolutely bananas.
I've had tables leave without paying their tab, but it's never been intentional.

Speaker 1 Absolutely wild, man. That's terrible.
A Dynondash? After After tormenting someone? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, you make a scene and then Dinondash. And then leave.

Speaker 1 That's bold. Wow.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you, you experienced Dinandashers? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Not personally. Luckily,

Speaker 1 because I was only a server server for a short window of time.

Speaker 1 Because then I worked at like this place that was like, I take the order, I food run, and I, you know, you just become like this all-around thing.

Speaker 1 But shout out to Lorraine in Orlando, Florida, who chased these people

Speaker 1 down the street. I was like, you're going too far.
She's like, yeah, no.

Speaker 1 Terminator like Terminator. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because that was crazy. But like, yeah, they do that.
People do that. Something that I feel like a lot of people don't realize too is that a lot of places you tip out.

Speaker 1 So the servers spread their tips. They like tip out 6% of their tips.

Speaker 1 Or some places will do you do six percent of your sales So whatever you sold you're gonna tip out six percent so that twenty percent tip is all of a sudden 14 percent of everything you made but if you dined in dash and say your check was $200

Speaker 1 I'm now tipping out 6% of what that would have been what the tip would have been so now it's just coming out of my personal money right and so then you're owing money to even serve these tables you're hurting the server and not the restaurant i mean also the restaurant but when you dine and dash, so don't do that.

Speaker 1 So it'd be like $12 that I'd now have to pay for that table having eaten at my.

Speaker 1 Jeez.

Speaker 1 This, like, he hit every single thing. Yeah.
Yeah. He's doing it all.
Yeah. In one go.

Speaker 1 I feel so bad for the wife in this, like, the fact that she called ahead and she's like, my husband's a nightmare. There's something deeper and darker on this.
Yeah, this is.

Speaker 1 For her to not be able to talk to him about this and have to like warn,

Speaker 1 my girl is stuck. An absolute horror story there.
That baby. There's a lot of people.
I gotta dynamo dash that baby. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Go over there. The iceberg.
We got this, and there's a whole iceberg there that is very tragic.

Speaker 1 Comments on this. This didn't perchance happen in Chicago.
This sounds exactly like people I used to wait on.

Speaker 1 OP responded, this did happen in Chicago.

Speaker 1 Someone responded, I believe I waited on them and they were regulars. Everyone hated waiting on them.
The mods were asinine.

Speaker 1 He would sometimes drink, but when he did, it was ordering three drinks in one go. Never heard the wife say anything.
They did pay us in cash.

Speaker 1 They didn't have a baby at the time, but I left that restaurant in 2020. Huge bills every time.
We were in Italian slash pizza spot and they'd order pasta and salads in the most bizarre way possible.

Speaker 1 Someone else said, that sounds like an elaborate dine and dash to me. Lastly, someone said, if the lady called ahead, just weird, but that's got to be helpful in tracking them them down, I think.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 1 So I guess dynamic dash laws vary across states. It can be a misdemeanor or a felony offense, depending on what state.
Felony. Felony.

Speaker 1 Maybe depending on the amount of money that you're walking out on.

Speaker 1 It's something that I'm like terrified of, of like accidentally getting up and forgetting to pay.

Speaker 1 It's never happened, but I live in fear of that.

Speaker 1 I can't imagine

Speaker 1 if it had happened because you forgot.

Speaker 1 Think back and go, okay, I did. Okay.
I usually. Or I ask someone else.
I'm like, we paid. They're like, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's always Italian restaurants where the craziest things happen. Really? That's where I was, I did a bunch.
That's where I

Speaker 1 never thought about that. It was like the MOs of different types of restaurants.
Sports bars. Sports bars.

Speaker 1 Sports bars are crazy. Italian restaurants, it's crazy.
like in the kitchen because everyone's like hey what the hey what the what it's got a bumpy right

Speaker 1 exactly

Speaker 1 Yeah, sports bars, you've got the sportsmen who are drinking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then in kitchens, a lot of times, like, if it's like elevated, but not quite, like, they're not classy enough to be like, they're not trained, but it's like a nicer place, so then they get in fights still.

Speaker 1 And then also, if you're in that kind of tier, then the people who are there are like, I thought this was supposed to be classy. And you're like, well, it's not.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Yep. Sorry, we're doing American Tapas here.
Right. It's like, they're little burgers.
What do you want? Like,

Speaker 1 they're little burgers.

Speaker 1 I can't believe this person is so notorious for this that other people are like, yes, I know this guy.

Speaker 1 Because they probably do it a lot. I just can't imagine.
Like, that's the thing is, like, you are ruining people's day. You have to know you're a monster.
And you're, I think he clearly does.

Speaker 1 Do you think he's doing this? Do you think this is like a thing he gets a kick out of? Like, that's almost what I'm reading it as.

Speaker 1 Whether it's like on purpose or just out of pattern, he's clearly getting something out of it. Like

Speaker 1 free food. Free food, but also like a power trip, whether he's going on.
Three drinks and one go. That's so crazy.
That's a lot.

Speaker 1 Just a strange, like, that's almost like a, like a murderer's, like, calling card, you know? It's like, oh, yeah. And he ordered three drinks in one go.

Speaker 1 Also, it's like then.

Speaker 1 Because people, you know, like the bartender or, you know, the server or whatever is supposed to like, if you're looking a little too drunk, they're supposed to stop you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's like, oh, well, I'm just going to get wasted and they won't be able to stop me because I'm going to get three drinks. I'm surprised.

Speaker 1 At first I didn't read it as alcoholic drinks, but it must be.

Speaker 1 Are you allowed to order three drinks? I was just about to say

Speaker 1 specifically has really a lot of alcohol laws. Huh? Like they had a rule when I lived there that they weren't allowed to have happy hours.

Speaker 1 You had to have it specials. I think they changed this now, but you had to have specials for the whole day.

Speaker 1 So it couldn't just be a certain number of hours.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow. Do you guys have like a specific customer that you were like, this is the worst one I ever dealt with?

Speaker 1 Do you have a person who stands out as like, that was the absolute worst table I ever served in my life? Or no? Or is it just a lot of bad?

Speaker 1 I didn't have like a devil gremlin person. There were just like little, little moments.

Speaker 1 There's one actor who I won't name.

Speaker 1 who I adored watching on television. I'm sure he just had a bad day.
But I was like, can I get you more barbecue sauce or a housemaid ranch? And he went,

Speaker 1 and I went,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 And then there was this guy who ate his entire burger and then tried to return it at the end. And I laughed at him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I laughed at him.
Oh, that's great.

Speaker 1 Not great, but fun. I had a table of these like Laguna Beach women.
They kept getting up and like trying to buddy buddy me. And I don't like being touched.

Speaker 1 And they kept being like putting their arms around me and shit. They were drinking.
They were bottomless mimosas.

Speaker 1 And I was, and I had to, I had to, I had to tell one of them, stop touching me. Oh.
Because he was like, she pulled me and she was like, what? You can't handle it? Come on, you're a dude.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, God.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. No.
So then I had to get my manager and I was like, they won't stop touching me. I need them.
And they started doing it as a bit.

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 and I was hung over, bitch. It was brunch.
I was hung over. I was not trying to be touched.
My manager was like, she was like,

Speaker 1 she was like, he wouldn't let me touch him. And she's like,

Speaker 1 why do you need to touch him? He won't let me touch him. It's a crazy complaint.

Speaker 1 She had my back. And that was a manager that didn't like me too, but she was like, stop touching my employees.

Speaker 1 After it's all done, she's just like, I still hate you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

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Speaker 1 Our next story, also from Tales from Rio server.

Speaker 1 Woman wrote, don't be such a cunt on tip line after I denied alcohol to her underage daughter.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Very busy Saturday at a brunch restaurant, table of 10 people. They had been on the wait list and then sat.
Probably had to wait 30 minutes, but that's typical for this restaurant.

Speaker 1 A woman ordered an alcoholic drink, but when I brought it out, she gave it to her daughter. I saw her daughter drink it, so I asked to see her ID.

Speaker 1 She left it in the car, and then she said she left it at home. This girl looked 14.
I told her that unfortunately we had to take it away, but I would get her juice instead if she wanted.

Speaker 1 She was pissed. I had my manager talk to her.
We took the drink off the bill. We were nice.

Speaker 1 Another woman at the table told me it was the best breakfast she'd had all year, really hamming up how good it was.

Speaker 1 Well, when they left, the mom wrote, don't be such a C-word on the additional tip line. Great.
I'll keep that in mind.

Speaker 1 I just can't imagine trying to do something illegal and then being mad when I don't let your child drink alcohol. What a lovely day.

Speaker 1 And they included a picture of it. to show

Speaker 1 the proof. Not the heart.
She put a heart, a star, and a smiley face. Yeah.

Speaker 1 A star too? The asterisks at the top. Yeah, and then an X on the additional tip line.

Speaker 1 And that bill was $91. So that was not some small amount of money.
But it's additional tip. So hopefully there was some...

Speaker 1 There was auto-gratuity, but this is additional tip. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Auto-gratuity isn't all that much.

Speaker 1 And it does it before taxes, which I would take the auto-grat off because people tip on top of tax a lot of the time.

Speaker 1 But if you do auto-grat, it tips before the tax. Interesting.
So it's 10% less.

Speaker 1 Well, even regardless of the tip, this is just very mean. I want to know the story of this mom who's like, I can't stand my daughter unless she's drunk.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I let my daughter drink whatever the fuck she wants to do. That's the voice, by the way.
Yeah. Because

Speaker 1 this, what she's now done, it's like, no, you were in the wrong.

Speaker 1 So you can't make the waitress feel bad. No, yeah, that's crazy.
She's doing her job. Right.
And it sounds like otherwise she doesn't.

Speaker 1 It sounds like she probably has had that situation happen where the waitress or waiter didn't care. It was like, not my problem.
I didn't see it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But in this case, it did happen and you just have to deal with that. But that's such a mean thing to say.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the 14-year-old, like, why are we giving them drinks?

Speaker 1 Did you ever have people write notes on receipts or like mean stuff ever in place of a tip? Not that I can recall.

Speaker 1 Not that I can recall. Because I've seen a lot of posts similar to this where it's like, oh, they wrote this note or they did something really I've had like be more attentive or like be nice before.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 The style differs place to place, right? And there are some places where the style of service is like, especially in Los Angeles, they don't want to talk to you.

Speaker 1 They don't really want to interact with their servers. They're just there to get their orders.

Speaker 1 And then some places, they're expecting a lot out of you. Like, I'm here to converse.
I haven't been. I don't go out a lot.
I'm here to have a good time. And I want my server to be a part of that.

Speaker 1 And so when you're getting to a table, you have to vibe check so quickly, right?

Speaker 1 And a lot of the time, when I would greet a table, I would come in like cold, like come in, I would like, you decide what energy I'm going to give. You're like neutral.
And so if you give me like,

Speaker 1 I'll give you like, foo.

Speaker 1 And sometimes I would get like, be nicer, like, be like, they wanted energy out of me, but I was like, I'm not going to be able to do it.

Speaker 1 You weren't giving me.

Speaker 1 Hey, hi, I'd like this. I've been on a double for 12 hours working this year.
Yeah. I need you to give, if you're not giving me, you don't need anything from me.
Right. We need cues.

Speaker 1 That's a really interesting perspective for like people who like

Speaker 1 ever complain about their servers or are mean to servers. It's like, hey, what you want out of a server is probably not what someone else wants, and you're trying to adhere to everything.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's really interesting. And you have six different tables.
So you have to remember the different energies of each table. It's like, this one I'm buddy buddy with.

Speaker 1 This one doesn't really want to talk to me. This one's really difficult.
Yeah. Especially where it's like, I've been to this table one extra time to like check on them and they were annoyed.

Speaker 1 So it's like, well, then I won't come check on you as as often, but that's because you gave me that. And then they feel like, well, you didn't come check on us.

Speaker 1 It was like, well, I came to see if everything was right. And you gave me some pissed off energy.
The vibes were wrong. I didn't want to come back to you.
So I'm sorry. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was just seeing if your cup was not full. Yeah.
Oh, but God.

Speaker 1 Comments on this. Your manager was far too kind.
No way that would have come off the bill anywhere I've been.

Speaker 1 And the manager in most places would have told him that we don't put our liquor license at risk for people like them and then thrown them out.

Speaker 1 OP responded, yeah, but it was like a $15 difference and we took it away after one sip. I don't know, it felt wrong to charge them.

Speaker 1 Someone else said, apparently in a few states, parents can buy drinks for teenagers. Had a customer at my bar in Nashville berate me for not serving his teenage son a beer.

Speaker 1 I was shocked it was allowed anywhere, but it certainly isn't in Tennessee. My very bored security guard happily threw him out the second he raised his voice at me.

Speaker 1 So we have a note here. One of those states is Texas.
In Texas, a minor may consume an alcoholic beverage if it it is in the visible presence of the minor's adult parent, guardian, or spouse.

Speaker 1 But it sounds like this isn't the case for this story. In this case, it's the establishment's rules, follow them or don't.
Lastly,

Speaker 1 I had something similar happen. Family came in, young-looking kid forgot their wallet, so no ID.

Speaker 1 The dad claimed to be a police officer, and I said, then you should be happy that I won't serve her without an ID. That's awesome.
Yeah, that's like walking into a full trap.

Speaker 1 It's like, don't worry, I'm a cop. It's like, what? So then I won't.

Speaker 1 Then I literally won't. Our next story actually comes from relationship advice, but it's about serving.
You'll see. Okay, I know where this is going.

Speaker 1 This is a 31-year-old man. My best friend, a 33-year-old man, is broke.

Speaker 1 I've been offering him a job in the restaurant I work at for months, and today he confessed he doesn't want to be a server because it's low and people would lose respect for him. I'm deeply offended.

Speaker 1 So this happened in 2018, for just a little bit of context.

Speaker 1 Different time. Different time.
Yeah. The old times.

Speaker 1 This happened just before. My friend is broke.
He hasn't worked in over a year. He's running out of savings and has even had to ask his parents to support him.

Speaker 1 I asked him many times why he doesn't try to get a job that's not in his field. He's got a computer science degree but has never worked in the field a single day in his life since graduating.

Speaker 1 He's turned down lots of jobs because of reasons. They don't pay him enough.
They won't give him a higher up position right off the bat, etc.

Speaker 1 I'm well aware he's deluded in that sense, but he has many other good qualities and that's why I love the guy.

Speaker 1 So since graduating, the only job he's done is share marketing, something like online investing in Forex. Forex is a foreign exchange trading.

Speaker 1 He said he made about $20 a day and that it was enough for him. He's single, lives in a shared house, and doesn't spend much.
Whatever makes him happy, right? The thing is, he's totally broke.

Speaker 1 I don't think he really is making even $20 a day on the shares because he's run out of money. He's stressed out and won't stop complaining about money problems.

Speaker 1 This is confusing for me and I think it comes down to his pride not allowing him to get a job that's not fit for his ego.

Speaker 1 Now, I work as a server in a very nice restaurant and have offered him a job as a server many, many times.

Speaker 1 I have a great relationship with my boss and after telling him my friend's situation, he didn't hesitate to say he wanted to help and would like to offer him a full-time job.

Speaker 1 My friend has been turning it down for months, not really giving much of an explanation. Today he called me saying his parents have cut him off and asked to borrow money from me.

Speaker 1 I said that as a personal rule, I do not lend money to anyone, but that he was welcome to start working tomorrow with me.

Speaker 1 He again turned down the offer and I got a bit frustrated because I'm offering him a solution to his money problem, but he won't accept it.

Speaker 1 So we got into a bit of a banter and he finally confessed he thinks being a server is low and doesn't get you people's respect.

Speaker 1 I told him respect is earned by getting off your ass and doing whatever you have to to make ends meet.

Speaker 1 I asked him if he thinks I'm low and he backpedaled saying he didn't mean I in particular was low, but the job itself was. Whatever.

Speaker 1 He then straight out told me nobody can respect me working as a waiter in my 30s. Wow, to be honest, I'm pretty upset.
He thinks I am low for working as a server.

Speaker 1 I got a degree too, but I couldn't find a job in my field, so I had to take the first job I could. I'm not some prissy prick thinking I'm too good to serve others.

Speaker 1 I take pride in being a waiter and doing a great job. I'm so hurt by his comments.
Why is he my friend if he thinks I'm low?

Speaker 1 I didn't want to say something nasty or get into an argument with him, so I only told him he was being very offensive and I felt like he needed time to think about what he said to me.

Speaker 1 He replied saying there was nothing to think about, then gave me a list of low jobs like street sweeper, cleaner, etc., and said it's a fact those are low, not respected jobs.

Speaker 1 I asked him to apologize before this snowballed into a full-blown argument, and he said he stood by what he said. I don't want to overreact, but I don't know if we can keep being friends after this.

Speaker 1 I really don't know what to do. I don't want to badmouth him, but he should examine his life and learn empathy.
I'm a very easygoing and forgiving person, but what he said hurt me and was idiotic.

Speaker 1 The man who refuses to work is calling me low. I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 Whew.

Speaker 1 Well, first off, there are career servers.

Speaker 1 I was going to say...

Speaker 1 Make an insane amount of money and like work at really important important restaurants. You know, it's like, this is a viable, very respectable career.

Speaker 1 In fact, every single job he listed as low are ones where I'm like, I don't think there's such a thing. Like, I think every job has a lot of potential.
Absolutely. Like, depending.

Speaker 1 I will say, when you said street sweeper, I thought mind sweeper, and I was like, don't click the wrong box. I know.

Speaker 1 Important job. Do you like that?

Speaker 1 I also feel like

Speaker 1 aren't street sweepers, isn't that like a union job? Government jobs. Yeah, good benefits? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Look, man, I'm going to be real honest, like, being an actor for so long where it's like, I don't know when I'm going to to have, like, another job, where you're just, like, I need to book auditions.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 those types of... Oh, when I read about, like, oh, yeah, like a mailman, I remember in my early 20s, there was a period of time where I was like, being a mailman sounds kind of sick.
Like, it's not.

Speaker 1 I would suck. I would suck.
So now you can work for the greatest company on earth, Amazon.

Speaker 1 It's always the funny thing when people like list off jobs that they think are low. And I'm like, that's actually a damn good point.

Speaker 1 Like, like, oh, like, uh, like Plumber, it's like, dude, no, they're making bank, bro. They have to be.

Speaker 1 Who else is going to fix my pipes besides the plumber? Like, they have

Speaker 1 a guy, Mario. Like, I am fully aware.
Like, I don't view any job as low because I don't think I could do any job. Right.
I've done this for so long, I'm fully incapable of everything.

Speaker 1 God forbid.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think about it. I would be a terrible service.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I would be a terrible server.
No, I don't think that's true.

Speaker 1 I think I'd be really good at that.

Speaker 1 I think if you actually liked the place, if you actually felt passionately about the food and the drink. I guess that's also fair.

Speaker 1 Being a server is completely different depending on where you're a server. Absolutely.
Absolutely. Because there was some restaurants that I really, really liked eating there.

Speaker 1 Like I would bring dates there when I'm sorry. And it sounds like this guy said this is a very nice restaurant he works at.
This is an incredible job offer this guy's getting.

Speaker 1 And I also, I've heard that, like, this is 2018, but I mean, the job market's not easy to find a good job. Like, it's not.
Especially in a niche

Speaker 1 field.

Speaker 1 Right. I understand not wanting to not get a job in your field because then on your resume, it's like, oh, well, if you did this and that.

Speaker 1 But when your situation is that situation, you need to take what you can get and go and do it. Because unfortunately, do we need to work to live in this

Speaker 1 scheme that we're in? I was making some pretty good money as a server. Yeah, you can make crazy.

Speaker 1 I was making like I have family members who worked as servers and made a lot of money. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah. Depending.

Speaker 1 Depending, depending. But the higher restaurant.
But I mean. Nicer restaurant.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of legitimate reasons why someone would say, oh, I can't take that job or I can't work right now or whatever. Yeah.
He is.

Speaker 1 Blatantly telegraphing why. Right.
And his reasoning is awful. Yeah.
It's bad.

Speaker 1 This is

Speaker 1 and it's so insulting. And it sounds like he has nothing else to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just can't believe the words that come out of people's mouths. I'm like,

Speaker 1 what do you think you're getting out of this by saying that? You're telling your friend that the job he's working is low. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What? You don't realize you're insulting your friend? Like,

Speaker 1 what do you think is going to happen here? And the author kind of set the author.

Speaker 1 We read a book today.

Speaker 1 The OP kind of said where it's like, hey, you're calling my job low, but like, you know, you're you're in kind of a low circumstance, so it's like, don't be hypocritical like that. Like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 My job is low. What job you got? Like,

Speaker 1 you ain't got a job, so I don't know how low you are now. I mean, a job is a job, and I don't think your job is who you are, right? Like, it's, it's, I mean, it's a big part of your life, but like.

Speaker 1 Right, but it's not all of you. It's not all of you.
Yeah, there's no, I don't think there are unfortunately people who do attribute status to these things.

Speaker 1 Those people suck, but like, not on a real level, on like an actual level, should it be that way. And this guy is

Speaker 1 basically exposing that this is how he views me. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 So it would be hard to continue to be his friend when it's like, oh, but you think I'm, this is what you think.

Speaker 1 This is all I am.

Speaker 1 And yeah, we should address these jobs. They're absolutely not low.
And in fact, I mean, I think the pandemic exposed so much of like what society is built off of. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where it's like suddenly all these jobs that are so low are the ones that we needed desperately first. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's a lot of work, and you're interfacing with a lot of people, and it takes a lot of mental energy. And it's like, it's certainly not low.
It's quite a skilled.

Speaker 1 I was, and this is, I'm being vulnerable here. Okay.
I was kind of a bad server. Okay.
Because you got to keep track of so many things. And then it's like all the, oh, we're closing.

Speaker 1 You got to remember to do all the doodads.

Speaker 1 And every time I counted money, I was over. And I wasn't over.
It wasn't over. So I was putting in the wrong numbers and I would count that money for an hour and I was always wrong.

Speaker 1 I was a bad closer. But anyway.

Speaker 1 How were you wrong? How did you? I don't know. Okay.
I counted that money and I thought I was right. And they were like, Tommy, you're over.
And I was like, how?

Speaker 1 And then they'd count it and they were like, it's fine. You're wrong.
And I was like, I don't want this job anymore.

Speaker 1 And then I scaled back to not closing. Anyway,

Speaker 1 it's a skilled thing. Yes.
Yeah, whenever I hear the term unskilled labor, I'm like, it's all skilled, man. It's all skilled.
It's all skilled. It's all skilled.

Speaker 1 All right, comments I was that I was that bitch who didn't write shit down you just had I love that boom that's awesome and then I'm going and then I'm usually going straight we didn't have these now they have these you can do this I wish I had that right I wish I had that bitch

Speaker 1 but sorry that I called you a bitch James

Speaker 1 oh no

Speaker 1 but I would immediately get the order and I would run to the computer I'm not going to any other tables I'm just doing that order right then getting it out of the way the POS

Speaker 1 All jobs require skills except for podcast host. That's awesome.

Speaker 1 Wow. That's awesome.
All right. Comments.
Honestly, be happy he didn't take the job because with that attitude, he wouldn't have lasted long and tarnished your reputation with it.

Speaker 1 I don't want to overreact, but I don't know if we can keep being friends after this. Honestly, don't keep him as a friend.
Doesn't seem that you get much out of the friendship anyway.

Speaker 1 Someone else said, funny, pompous ass is too good to work as a waiter, but isn't above asking to borrow money from a waiter because he's he's too pathetic to go earn a living to take care of himself.

Speaker 1 It's easy. Take the job off the table because it's not appreciated or respected by him, and it will only end bad for you and your generous boss.

Speaker 1 Don't lend your friend anything and let him figure out his problems on his own. Simple life lesson coming.

Speaker 1 Update.

Speaker 1 The next day.

Speaker 1 I made this post yesterday asking for advice on how to handle the situation with my friend. Basically, he's very broke and his parents have cut him off.

Speaker 1 I've been offering him a job in the restaurant I work in for months, and he has always turned it down. His situation got so bad, he came to me yesterday asking to borrow money.

Speaker 1 I don't lend money to anyone as a rule, but I told him there will always be a plate of food for him in my house, and he was welcome to accept the job offer and start working with me the very next day.

Speaker 1 Well, long story short, we had a bit of an argument, if you can call it that, and he finally confessed he thinks being a server is low and won't earn him people's respect.

Speaker 1 In an interesting turn of events, he called me today and said he'd thought it through and had decided he's willing to accept the job only with one condition. Okay.

Speaker 1 Howard, this is

Speaker 1 beggars, choosers. What do you think the condition is? What do we think the condition is?

Speaker 1 Maybe it's handstand the whole time.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Maybe the condition is that

Speaker 1 fuck he get to be a manager.

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Speaker 1 He'd be willing to do it with only one condition, that he's to be made manager right off the bat. What a pompous piece of shit!

Speaker 1 And that he should move in with me so that I can drive him to work because the bus from his house to my workplace takes 35 minutes and that's over an hour of commuting a day.

Speaker 1 He then suggested I move my youngest daughter into my elder daughter's room so that's an empty bedroom for him in my house. So he obviously had given this some thought.
I was dumbfounded.

Speaker 1 The sense of entitlement and the level of pride you gotta have to make those demands is astonishing. I know he's never had a proper job, but he's not stupid.

Speaker 1 He has to know you can't be made manager if you don't even know the names of their dishes or how to serve a coffee. It's all about his pride.
He's He's got an ego bigger than I thought.

Speaker 1 He can't be humble enough to accept a waiter job and work things out from there. He needs to be made manager so that it won't hurt his pride as much.

Speaker 1 To be honest, I was so out of words, I said I don't want to talk and hung up. I can't explain how off-putting that conversation was.
I feel repealed by him.

Speaker 1 I feel disgusted, as if something has changed inside me. I can't have a person like him in my life.
What makes a person refuse all help just out of sheer pride.

Speaker 1 My wife says I've been patient and kind enough to him throughout the years and I should let him figure things out on his own. He really is broke.

Speaker 1 Before his parents cut him off, they were covering his rent slash bills and he survived on the $20 a day he claimed to be making investing in Forex.

Speaker 1 I know he barely eats and can't even afford a new pair of shoes and some other stuff. I know he's got no money, but then why won't he accept the job?

Speaker 1 He's not shy, has no mental health issues, and has no problem dealing with people. He's refused many other jobs in the past, even jobs related to his degree, computer science.

Speaker 1 He's got the wrong idea that he should be given higher-up positions right from the start because he's him and that's what he deserves.

Speaker 1 That's the reason he hasn't worked a single day since graduating like a decade ago.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I've got to do some deep thinking and re-evaluate this friendship because I don't like the person he's becoming. His dad is a bus driver and his mother is a retired teacher.

Speaker 1 They are lovely, humble, down-to-earth people. I think they've done the right thing cutting him off.
I know they're both struggling financially, so it's not fair for their son to leech off of them.

Speaker 1 His mother even had to go back to work doing some tutoring in order to make some extra money to be able to support my friend.

Speaker 1 I'd be so ashamed if I made my 70-year-old mother go back to work just so I could be sitting at home dreaming of landing the perfect job while actively doing nothing to get one. Anyway, I'm rambling.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I'm just so mad. My wife says it's time to cut the cord and distance ourselves from him.
I think she might be right. She's right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think she's right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I kind of, okay, I kind of see

Speaker 1 the thought process behind him a little bit in that,

Speaker 1 so my parents are servers and they sent me to college. I was a first-generation college student.

Speaker 1 And they sent me to college because they wanted me to have a different life than they were able to make for themselves.

Speaker 1 They didn't want me to be waiting tables in restaurants. They wanted me to have like a career, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So that's why I'm a comedian.

Speaker 1 Existence.

Speaker 1 You can have a career and you're like comedian. They're like, they're like,

Speaker 1 shit, what the hell, dude? Yeah. No.

Speaker 1 But, um, but so even, I had this overwhelming weight on my shoulders after graduating college and not being able to find many jobs as a comedian or as in musical theater. So I had this huge weight.

Speaker 1 My parents were like, they did not want me to wait tables. I see what you're saying.

Speaker 1 I would say, though, like, in life, I mean, we all have to start somewhere, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think anywhere, anyone gets anywhere without working jobs you don't want to work, right? right? Is that fair to say? I mean, absolutely.

Speaker 1 But he did, it says he turned down computer science jobs. Yeah, what the hell? So I don't know what's going on.
That's where he screwed up. He should have just

Speaker 1 taken lower pay than no pay. What is it? Get your foot in the door and then work your way up, they say.
Or use it to leverage in a different company.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't,

Speaker 1 all we know is he told. OP these jobs are beneath him.
All I know is he's an activist. So that's that's

Speaker 1 all.

Speaker 1 We know It's like, all right, we're going to take you at your word. That's your reasoning.
Like if you gave us a different spiel, we would go off that. But he said, these are beneath me.

Speaker 1 So, you know, fuck you. Like, that's kind of where we're at.

Speaker 1 I just, wow, like,

Speaker 1 he's in such a hard place, and he still is holding on to that. Like, the ego is so powerful.

Speaker 1 I need to be the manager and you need to completely shift your children's dynamic so that I can live in your house. Every aspect got wilder and wilder.
This guy needs to think about other people.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. I feel bad for OP.
They sound like a very forgiving person. Yes.
Because the fact that they're like, I guess I should maybe cut this guy out of his life. That's so entitled.
I know.

Speaker 1 And his poor parent, like,

Speaker 1 I mean, we don't know, but like the parents cutting him off, but it sounds like the parents like worked really hard to try to support him for a long time.

Speaker 1 I see, I'm wondering, when did Wolf of Wall Street come out? Oh, does he think he's this? This is, this gives me like a guy who's like, I know the art of the deal. Right.
2013. 2013, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's had five years to cook. I don't know why this guy like makes me think like he watched Wolf of Wall Street and he was like, that's me.

Speaker 1 Here's what I'm going to do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to demand respect and I'm going to get it.

Speaker 1 Could be completely wrong, but that's the vibe I'm getting. This next story comes from Am I the Asshole? Okay.
Am I the asshole for snitching on a coworker for spitting on a customer's food?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That is fucking gross. That's awful.
That is, who actually does that? That is nasty.

Speaker 1 That scares me. Yeah.
But I feel like most people are not that indecent. Yeah, that's one of those things that I feel like happens in movies that it's like, hopefully that doesn't happen in real life.

Speaker 1 And it's also like, if I saw someone already, if I saw someone spit in a customer's food, I'd be like, you need to take that in the back and you need to get them a new plate right now.

Speaker 1 That is absolutely crazy town. Yeah.
That is crazy. And like chef, if chef saw you do that or if like the people who just cooked that meal, they're like.
So you just wasted my time? Yeah. Right.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Maybe they deserved it. I don't believe it.
I don't believe it. I just wanted to find out.
Unless they were like spit in my food.

Speaker 1 They're like, can you?

Speaker 1 How much is an add-on of spit? Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's the family guy joke where they bring it to the newscaster and he spits in his drink and he's just like, what's in this? He's like, oh, I spit in it.

Speaker 1 And he's like, bring me the the one with urine like I asked that's awesome

Speaker 1 thanks

Speaker 1 all right let's get into this story okay I work as a server at a popular chain restaurant last Saturday it was a very stressful day as we were extremely busy one of my coworkers let's call her Tanya was in an especially bad mood due to the amount of customers assigned to her section

Speaker 1 the issue started when one of the customers ordered chicken strips with buffalo sauce on the side as Tanya was walking with her tray of food the sauce dish tipped over and spilled some buffalo sauce over the customer's fries and baked potato.

Speaker 1 I'm guessing she didn't think it was a big deal to have some hot sauce on your potatoes, so she brought it to the customer anyway.

Speaker 1 Well, the customer eventually called her back and asked for new fries and a new potato because they didn't want buffalo sauce all over their food. Sure.

Speaker 1 Tanya came back to the kitchen unreasonably upset. She was complaining about spoiled people, wasting food, extra work, and things like that.

Speaker 1 The cook made a new plate of food, and as Tanya was walking out of the kitchen, she stuck out her tongue and spit little flecks of spit all over the customer's food. That's disgusting.
That's awful.

Speaker 1 I was shocked because I'd never actually seen someone do that in real life.

Speaker 1 I thought that kind of thing only happened in movies and TV shows. Literally.
Like I just said. I was even more surprised that she did it during a pandemic.
Yeah, this came out, this is 2021. No.

Speaker 1 For some context.

Speaker 1 Probably the worst time in history. Right.
Maybe

Speaker 1 like Spanish influenza. You know, every hundred years is the worst possible time to do this.
At the end of my shift, I told my boss what I saw, and he had a talk with Tanya afterwards.

Speaker 1 Now, everyone I work with knows that I did this since my boss told Tanya that I saw her spit on the food. They're all calling me a snitch.

Speaker 1 Tanya herself calls me the snitch if she ever has a chance to refer to me. She no longer is there? She no longer speaks to me at all.

Speaker 1 I believe even my boss isn't happy that I snitched, though he hasn't said anything directly. I just feel a whole different vibe from him now.

Speaker 1 It's gotten to the point where I basically lost all of my work friends due to snitching. I'm not sure they will ever get over this because of how legitimately upset everyone is.

Speaker 1 I'm considering finding a new job because it has gotten so bad. Am I the asshole for snitching? Should I have just talked to Tanya privately and not told her boss? Okay, so we have some context.

Speaker 1 OP did not tell the manager until later, so the food got to the table. That is so bad.

Speaker 1 I will say I was a little shocked because I'm scrolling down and I see that the verdict is everyone sucks here.

Speaker 1 And I was a little confused because I'm like, no, like, you need to call that out. They spit in food.
Right. But they didn't.

Speaker 1 They let the food get to the people. Yeah.
And they ate. And they didn't get into it in time.

Speaker 1 They needed. You need to

Speaker 1 hold it immediately. You saw spit in it.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 Because I was going to make a joke. Sorry.

Speaker 1 I was going to make a joke before we started this of like, oh, someone's poisoned their food, whatever. Technically, in 2021,

Speaker 1 this is effectively a bioweapon

Speaker 1 right now.

Speaker 1 It could severely harm anyone at any time. Right, you don't know what you got.
But this is

Speaker 1 particularly. Yes.
It's even multiplied more. The fact that she still works there, the fact that everyone else at that job is like, oh, you snitch.
I'm like, maybe get a different job.

Speaker 1 These people sound like they don't have.

Speaker 1 Yeah, nightmare town.

Speaker 1 I want to know what this place is. I don't want to go.

Speaker 1 I don't want to go.

Speaker 1 This scares the hell out of me. It's a chain restaurant.
It's a popular chain restaurant. I hope it's not chili.
Cheese. That's what I'm saying.
I know. The buffalo sauce has me thinking it's chilies.

Speaker 1 I like some Applebee's shit. You think this is Applebee's? Oh, you know? Yeah.
I understand.

Speaker 1 It's gotta, I mean, I've never been in these types of situations. I've never worked these types of jobs with these kinds of steaks.

Speaker 1 Literally.

Speaker 1 We'll be right back.

Speaker 1 But like, I know...

Speaker 1 I know that I am someone who would feel a lot of anxiety having to snitch on someone.

Speaker 1 And I fear fear that I would chicken out in a lot of situations. This is one where I would hope that I would call it out very quickly, because that's so gross.

Speaker 1 It's so awful. I don't even know that

Speaker 1 legally what level that is. Exactly.
But because there's places where spitting on someone is assault. So it's like, what is,

Speaker 1 like, what could this be?

Speaker 1 I can't believe she still has her job.

Speaker 1 This, yeah, because everyone up and down is horrible here.

Speaker 1 So there's some comments. Okay.

Speaker 1 Everyone sucks here. You for letting her serve food with spit in it to a customer and waiting to report it to your manager.

Speaker 1 Her, obviously, for spitting in a customer's food over a very reasonable request. Your manager for not keeping your report confidential and not firing Tanya's ass for this.

Speaker 1 All of your coworkers for thinking snitching is a bigger deal than being unsanitary, disgusting, and vengeful towards customers. That was 15,000 upvotes.

Speaker 1 And the stupid patron for not wetting a little hot sauce on your fries and potato.

Speaker 1 I liked it. Thanks.

Speaker 1 Look, I sometimes dip my fries in hot sauce, but I am someone that I don't like to have the sauce on the fries.

Speaker 1 You know? Like, I like to have it the side.

Speaker 1 Would you send the plate back?

Speaker 1 No. No, I wouldn't either.

Speaker 1 I would just eat it.

Speaker 1 I gotta be honest, and this is on me. I'm not saying this is right.

Speaker 1 I have too much anxiety. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It'd have to be so bad. Exactly.
I'm the same.

Speaker 1 It would have to be so bad for me. I don't think I've ever sent food back in my life.

Speaker 1 If it's clearly the wrong dish, I'll be like, oh, I think this is the wrong one. Right.

Speaker 1 I shit you not. And this is as someone who has no food allergies, no food intolerances.
When I get served the wrong, completely wrong plate of food,

Speaker 1 in my head, I just go, well, maybe I'll like this one more. Wow.
No, little baby. And sometimes I discover it's really good.
I'm also not a picky eater at all. Like, I have everything.

Speaker 1 I also have everything going for me where I'm like, I don't mind that much. Yeah.
But if I did care, it would take a lot. And watch this.

Speaker 1 As the server, I'm not, once it hits the table, I'm not taking that shit anywhere else. Right, it's yours.
If it's on the table, I'm leaving it. But a lot of servers will fucking take that shit.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, no, no, no, no. Once it's off the table, you're supposed to leave it there.
You gotta leave it there. And so you just also bring it up.

Speaker 1 You also bring, but you don't take shit off the someone, if it goes on another customer's table, you leave it. It's a term shit.
It is theirs. And like, just give it to them.

Speaker 1 Right, or you'd be going and throwing it away. Or you'd be going and throwing it away.
That's ridiculous. You'd take it home for the dog.
Yeah. The dog.

Speaker 1 For the dog.

Speaker 1 Someone replied to that comment saying, I can kind of forgive OP for not jumping in right away.

Speaker 1 I have social anxiety, and for me to draw attention to myself in the moment for something like that would be terrifying. Yeah, I mean, I'm not viewing OP as an asshole of the caliber of everyone else.

Speaker 1 No. They're all horrible.
For me, it's not even like an asshole thing as much as just like,

Speaker 1 here's what you should have done. Right.
But I understand because I'm putting myself in there and I'm like, I know the anxiety I would feel too.

Speaker 1 Because this is the result they got that they were probably scared of. And it's unfortunate that people like this also make people scared to stand up to people.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't have gotten out of the kitchen if she did it in the kitchen. She did it as she was walking out of the kitchen, but you would have stopped her and been like, you can't serve that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
Yeah, I was just thinking in my head if if I would like, what would be my lie?

Speaker 1 Because I don't know if I would be like, your server spat on your food. I'd be like, a cup of bleach fell into the oil.
You cannot eat that chicken or you'll die. I don't know.
They wouldn't do that.

Speaker 1 But I'm like, I don't know what lie I would cook up, but I would definitely try and get that dish back. I would definitely try and get it back.
I don't know how I would do it.

Speaker 1 I put on like a disguise.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Raven. That's a raven situation.
Yeah, like a guy who would like, like, like tie a damsel in distress to a railroad track. I'd come go, nah, nah, nah, I'd like to take it.

Speaker 1 I would have done like the Disney channel thing where like as soon as it gets down, gets to there, I'd have been, I'd have run over and been like, oh my god, a cockroach. And I like hit the tablet,

Speaker 1 hit the plate off the table, and then go, it splatters all over them. Sorry.

Speaker 1 I guess I was wrong. And then it's like, I made it even worse.

Speaker 1 Other comment?

Speaker 1 Someone said, everyone sucks here. I am a server and have been for years.
I have never seen anyone do this. And I work in a high-volume setting with tough customers challenging us on the regular.

Speaker 1 Nobody has ever even joked about spitting on food. Your boss is an asshole for not firing her and for telling her who he saw.
He should have just said he saw it on the cameras or that someone saw.

Speaker 1 It could have been a cook. She wouldn't know.
Either way, she should not still have a job and everyone who is siding with her is garbage. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
100%. Yeah.
Wow. Yay.

Speaker 1 Unless it was that guy from earlier who ordered three drinks in a row. Then spit in a spit.
And then it's all right.

Speaker 1 And then you give them the three drinks, and you go,

Speaker 1 I spit in one of these.

Speaker 1 And I poisoned the other one. Poison the other two.

Speaker 1 And your baby is coming. You better hope.
You get my spit, baby. Sorry.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Sorry?

Speaker 1 I was just like, you get food, and they're just like, I spit in your food, and then you're like,

Speaker 1 and they're like, oh, no.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Our next story. Okay.
Because I feel like the dates do sometimes matter here a lot. This came from, this is in fall of 2020.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So. Okay, so

Speaker 1 summer of 2020. Okay, so we're in prime.
We're in prime 2020.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
I feel like as a server, that's

Speaker 1 it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, July 10th. And does it say where?

Speaker 1 We do not know where yet. Okay.
But this comes from relationship advice.

Speaker 1 My mom's rude customer turned out to be my girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Oh, my mom's rude customer.

Speaker 1 So clearly OP's mom works as a server, complained about someone, turns out to be her girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Oh shit.

Speaker 1 This is a 21-year-old woman who writes, who's writing in. I'm 21 and lesbian.
My girlfriend is 36 and bisexual. My mom had me young at 16, so she's 37 and works as a waitress at a high-end steakhouse.

Speaker 1 I just moved in with my girlfriend two weeks ago after dating for two months.

Speaker 1 Moving in with her is a culture shock because she made close to seven figures last year and I'm a struggling actress slash college student.

Speaker 1 So my mom is serving the lunch crowd and goes to meet a woman. This woman did not acknowledge my mom's greeting and interrupted her when she rattled off the specials.

Speaker 1 When her soup comes, she tells my mom her wallet costs more than what she made in a month, so be careful.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 She snapped her fingers to get my mom's attention, but when she came without her beckoning, she rolled her eyes and said, will you leave me alone?

Speaker 1 At the end, when my mom asked if she could take her plate, she sarcastically asked if she had any other bright ideas.

Speaker 1 In the end, my mom went to take her Amex and saw the name on it and put two and two together. She got a very poor tip at the end of it.

Speaker 1 She said she's given me the information and that what I do with it is up to me. I am in denial that my girlfriend would be like this.
She's always been sarcastic, but in a very attractive way.

Speaker 1 In fact, the only problems we've had had is that she sometimes comes off as flirtatious to others, and I get jealous sometimes because I can see she has a lot of options.

Speaker 1 When we've gone out, she's been nice to the waiters. But my mom and I have a very close relationship and are very honest with each other.

Speaker 1 And I see that the thought of anyone being rude to her, when I asked what the woman was wearing, my mom told me exactly what she put on this morning.

Speaker 1 So when my girlfriend got home, I asked if she did anything. interesting today.
She said not much and I asked if she was in a bad mood and she asked why I would ask her.

Speaker 1 Now she's getting suspicious because I turned down sex and when I tried to talk to her again, she said she was busy. What do I do to confront this issue?

Speaker 1 What can I do if she was just having a really bad day and this was out of character? I love her a lot and she's been extremely generous to me, so I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 Well, saying the wallet thing isn't in or out of a character. That is the character.
That's you're not going to say that because you're like, I stubbed my toe.

Speaker 1 I have an expensive wallet and you're bad. Yeah.
It doesn't work that way.

Speaker 1 and a whole a whole hour of choices exactly like yeah this wasn't just a one-off thing um yeah full-on statements yeah like oh man I slipped up and I said that really nefarious villainous thing

Speaker 1 I can't believe I did that

Speaker 1 I need I need to clock

Speaker 1 21 36 36 36 and the mom's the same age it's 36

Speaker 1 and they moved in at two months they moved in at two months heard and there's a that's there that's you there's a power dynamic of the the age and experience but also her partner also is like making making

Speaker 1 her partner's also a millionaire. So that's, I don't know, that's just throwing up a bunch of red flags for her, obviously.
Yeah, the power dynamic is not.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It just sounds like a not, yeah, a not ideal.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's a world in which that could be fine for someone or whatever, but like it sounds like a not ideal, especially since we have this example of who this person is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, we've brought up like age dynamics before, and for me, it's like once I, like, in my 30s, I think back on myself at 21. Yeah, I'm just like, I was a little child, baby.

Speaker 1 I was like, I'm thinking, like, oh my God, what I know now to what I know, what I knew then. And that's not to say that everyone at 21 is

Speaker 1 no, there's like, I'm not insulting that. It's just, I don't know, it always just raises questions.
Right. But the seven figures honestly raises more

Speaker 1 to me.

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Speaker 7 Earn up to $120 a year in statement credits at participating partners.

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Terms apply.

Speaker 1 This is her girlfriend. Her girlfriend said all of this.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be able to move past that. No.

Speaker 1 And I wouldn't be able to move past that regardless of who the waiter was. Like, being rude to a waiter is like, that's one of those universals.
Yeah. Immediately I'm icked out.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's one of those quick red flags. It's like, all right, we're done here.
Get out of there. Yeah.
Right.

Speaker 1 Horrible.

Speaker 1 I'm also kind of big on, I mean,

Speaker 1 I care about manners and just like,

Speaker 1 I think most people care about manners.

Speaker 1 And so, like, there's also, this is a side note, that's also, like, at a table, you need to be able to, like, okay, I'm going a little hyper-specific here, but, like, when there's water on the table,

Speaker 1 I'm going to take the water. This is a little hyper-specific, but I'm going to pour everyone's water.
No one else's water first. Everyone's water first before I pour my own.

Speaker 1 Like, It's just like, I don't know. And I think like

Speaker 1 at Korean barbecue and Japanese barbecue, you can tell a lot about someone too because you're sharing a meal and an experience and you're seeing how they, who are they giving meat to first? Right.

Speaker 1 Are they putting it on their own plate?

Speaker 1 Are they turning it? Are they cooking? That's really interesting.

Speaker 1 I think about that. And I just think, I think a first date too.

Speaker 1 Korean barbecue or Japanese barbecue bitch. It's a good test.
You can tell so much about a person.

Speaker 1 Now are they going to switch off who's cooking? Like

Speaker 1 what's the whole vibrant? What do you do?

Speaker 2 This time? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I wonder, you know, like, dining is such a, like, ancient thing. Yeah.
And it's, like, one of the most interpersonal and personal things for human beings. It's a universal thing.

Speaker 1 It does tell kind of everything about a person, about how they act with other people there. Yeah.
But especially treating servers is just another part of it.

Speaker 1 It's just like, I think it's like the quickest way of finding out like

Speaker 1 how much this person,

Speaker 1 like how much empathy they have,

Speaker 1 how much they objectify and dehumanize people. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 Or leave them alone. Like if I'm dining by myself, I'm usually not trying to like connect with the server.
I'm just trying to sell. That's different.
Yeah, that's fine. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, but I'm saying like she's actively not disengaging. She's actively being rude and sarcastic to this person who's just trying to give her her meal.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's like, okay, this is what she thinks of a waitress there. What does she think of you? Yeah, exactly.
You know, it's like, are you just another non-human to her? Exactly.

Speaker 1 Comments, there is old advice that you should pay attention to how a new love interest treats people like waitresses who are strangers to her in a subordinate role, who have no lasting impact or influence over her.

Speaker 1 There is also a significant age gap to consider. Given her behavior with your mother, I think that you will see other red flags in your relationship if you examine it.
That has 1.9,000 upvotes.

Speaker 1 Someone said, you lived together already and she's never met your mom. OP responds, to be honest, we've mostly met her friends and family.

Speaker 1 Things just happened really quickly and she's never asked that much beyond the fact that I was raised by a single mom.

Speaker 1 I was actually thinking of arranging to go out to eat with her and my mom so they could meet each other, but my mom has a pretty unpredictable schedule and has been stressed. She never asked?

Speaker 1 Never asked. Doesn't seem like she cares too much about OP.
No, definitely not.

Speaker 1 Someone said, lots of people have bad days without being demeaning and disrespectful to others. You really need to think about if this is the the kind of person you want to tie yourself to.

Speaker 1 For me, that would be an absolute deal-breaker. I do not like spending time with rude, entitled assholes.
It was good of your mom to give you the information and leave the decision up to you.

Speaker 1 It really is up to you to determine if this behavior is something you can live with or not. Lastly, someone said, I'm seeing more red flags here than the fucking color guard.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's great.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that's just kind of one of those clear-cut lines of just.

Speaker 1 And I mean, to that level, oh my god um

Speaker 1 i've never i have that's another fortunate thing of like i have never been friends with anyone who has been rude to a waiter but i think that would be that'd be a deal breaker for sure i mean it's just that's just crazy okay

Speaker 1 update

Speaker 1 two days later

Speaker 1 two days later two days laters

Speaker 1 I oh I worry that this could be a plot twist. Oh no.
I just worry.

Speaker 1 I think they broke up. You think that? That's all I hope.
I hope for the best.

Speaker 1 Do you think, I'm just kind of shocked. After two months of dating, they've moved in together, this partner has never even seen a photo or anything of her mom.

Speaker 1 Maybe she did, but she's not. Oh, my God,

Speaker 1 you think it's, uh, you think it's, what's it called when you, uh, uh,

Speaker 1 uh, when you think of a murder before you do it?

Speaker 1 Premeditated. Premeditated? You think she knew it was her mom and she went in? She was like mean to her mom on purpose.
That would be.

Speaker 1 insane. She's like, I'm her mother now.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I can take care of her in ways you never could.

Speaker 1 That makes it so much worse.

Speaker 1 I didn't think it could be worse. And it was

Speaker 1 worth finding out. Okay.

Speaker 1 There was a lot of tension between me and my girlfriend after I turned down sex the day before yesterday. I was clearly upset about what my mom told me, but didn't know how to confront her.

Speaker 1 She ended up disappearing into her study after the house manager finished cooking dinner and left. A house manager is a hired staff that oversees operations of the home.

Speaker 1 So yeah, this girlfriend is loaded. Yeah, okay.
She came out in going out clothes and didn't say anything to me. I asked where she was going and she said nowhere, just meeting up with some friends.

Speaker 1 I texted her a few hours later to ask if she was coming home to eat or if she needed a driver.

Speaker 1 She doesn't text back for a while until she sends me back a picture of a hotel drinks tab that was in the thousands, saying she was paying for everybody. Then she stops replying to my texts.

Speaker 1 I don't know who booked the room or who she was with. I hear her stumble in at 3.30 a.m.
and she reeks of booze and other random smells. She wakes up at 2 p.m.
and goes to her study.

Speaker 1 I go to her study and she doesn't acknowledge me for a good minute. She finally says, last time I checked, you were 21, not 12.

Speaker 1 Adults speak when they have something on their minds and tells me to come out with it. So I confronted her about being rude to her waitress, my mom.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 She says that I have been sulky all week and she's been walking on eggshells since last Monday, even though I thought we were perfectly happy then.

Speaker 1 She acknowledged she was at the restaurant, but said none of what I accused her of ever happened.

Speaker 1 She said that she was served by multiple people and said that at fancy restaurants, waitresses should know to only approach when the customer beckons, and she lightly recalls one of them breaking such protocols.

Speaker 1 What? When I asked who she was with last night, she says she's getting bad vibes from this conversation and tells me to leave if I'm going to be a baby.

Speaker 1 Okay. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 You're an adult out with it. It's like, okay, what were you doing last night? Ah, ah.
You're a child. You're a child.
You wouldn't understand.

Speaker 1 I'm pretty close to crying, and she says she's been thinking, and this relationship is giving her bad vibes, and maybe I wasn't ready for an adult relationship, and that she clearly misjudged my maturity.

Speaker 1 I start crying and saying that she was the most successful person I've ever met, and I think she's too good to be true, and a long thing about how I felt she's too good to me, which scares me now because everything I said was completely from the heart.

Speaker 1 She then says that when she met me, it was like the stars aligned. She asks if the life advice she gave me was not helping, if this relationship already was not changing my entire life forever.

Speaker 1 She reminded me that I was living with four roommates and now I live like the 1% and she's helping put me through school.

Speaker 1 Oh, great ground. Like a relationship.

Speaker 1 Like a mother, like a good mother should.

Speaker 1 She said she even introduced me to her well-connected friends and when she told them how I was acting, they were so sorry for her. But she told them that bad moments happen to the best of us.

Speaker 1 I asked her if she would consider meeting my mom to at least talk things out, and she said she didn't want to meet my mom right now. She wants to help improve my life.

Speaker 1 This morning, she told me to pick out a dream tote I could use for next semester and joked I was becoming spoiled.

Speaker 1 I called my mom and she said I needed to stick to the things I knew to be true and that she's never lied to me before.

Speaker 1 But what terrifies me is how unprepared I was for her reaction or how scared I was when she asked me to leave. I don't know what to do.
I feel ashamed that I set out to get answers and I screwed up.

Speaker 1 And now I feel ungrateful and like I'm self-destructing my life. She still works extensively with her ex-husband of 11 years and I feel like I'll never measure up to him.
Okay, so much information.

Speaker 1 So much, yeah. And none of it good.
No. No.
Not a single one of it good.

Speaker 1 This OP needs to know that like a cush life with a hard person is not a good life. No.

Speaker 1 Like it doesn't, yeah, it doesn't even out like no, not at all. Misgiving groomer.
This is horrible.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in fact, her wealth and power is clearly only going to be used to torment you

Speaker 1 as she already is. Or to control you.
Exactly. Exactly.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 I like how they basically out themselves, this girlfriend, when she's like, yeah,

Speaker 1 you're acting like a child.

Speaker 1 I misjudged your maturity. I'm like, if maturity matters to you so much, date someone over there.
You can date someone your age. My God.

Speaker 1 Even the phrase, last time I checked, you were 21, not 12, adults speak when they have something on their minds. Like, that is the most mom sentence.

Speaker 1 And it's to get her, it's to get a rise out of her and to get her. Now she's going to say it because she feels like

Speaker 1 less than. She feels cornered and she's like, well, I have to prove that I'm.
old enough to just speak my mind. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's as she is rewriting what was said in this conversation, her girlfriend is leveraging power against her. It's just like, hey,

Speaker 1 I'm having you meet my connected friends. I'm getting you through school.
I'm doing all these things. It's like, if your partner is doing those things, they're not being your partner at all.

Speaker 1 They are actively in the moment trying to control you. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 This is absolutely so scary. I feel bad for how OP is writing where it's like, yeah, I'm not grateful.
And it's like, oh, you've fallen for the spell.

Speaker 1 And, you know,

Speaker 1 you can't blame her. I mean, this is where so many people end up, right? Like,

Speaker 1 of course. this is this is what a great manipulator does to people.
Absolutely, right? You do blame yourself.

Speaker 1 I mean, she's absolutely, this is, this is textbook written out how people feel in these types of relationships. And it's hard to clock that of going, oh, wait, I'm, I'm talking this way.
Am I wrong?

Speaker 1 Am I? Yeah. You're so convinced that you're the bad guy.
Yep.

Speaker 1 When you're in a relationship like that, you are. You are constantly up against the ropes.
And you feel like, okay, I just got to get off the ropes and then we can assess this.

Speaker 1 But you're up against against the ropes, and they know if they keep you there, you're never, you're never gonna be able to fight back, you're never gonna be able to say anything or even think for yourself.

Speaker 1 You're always in trouble, they'll always have the power. Exactly.
Update number two: whoa!

Speaker 1 Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Am I the asshole for refusing to choose between my mom and my girlfriend?

Speaker 1 Oh no, no, no, no,

Speaker 1 give it.

Speaker 1 Come on, let's go. Can I get a chair squeak for that?

Speaker 1 Can you hear this in the mic? A little bit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Can you hear this in the mic? The chair is squeaky, but it makes my shoulders look big.

Speaker 1 It does sometimes. It's true if he's wearing the same color shirt.
Depending on the shirt. Yeah.
Anyways.

Speaker 1 My mom served my girlfriend at the steakhouse she worked at.

Speaker 1 She said my girlfriend, who didn't know she was my mom at the time, was outlandishly rude and that she knew it was my girlfriend after she saw the name on her card.

Speaker 1 So after that, I ended up confronting my girlfriend and we had a days-long fight, our first fight ever, over this before things things went back to normal.

Speaker 1 However, yesterday my mom calls and tells me she's been placed on leave from work because my girlfriend contacted the owner and said that she exposed her information to a third party and that she felt her privacy had been violated.

Speaker 1 The restaurant owner happens to know my girlfriend in passing, a very distant acquaintance.

Speaker 1 My mom says my girlfriend exaggerated her tale to the owner, saying she rattled off numbers of her Amex card to me and also exaggerated the stuff that my mom accused her of.

Speaker 1 My mom said since it is a she said, she said situation, she needed me to tell the owner she only described her general behavior and a few true comments that stuck out.

Speaker 1 I love my mom, but my life with my girlfriend is so intertwined at this point. No, not I love my mom, but.

Speaker 1 But my life with my girlfriend is so intertwined at this point. We're vacationing in the Hamptons, but I moved in with her back in Los Angeles where I am going to college.

Speaker 1 She's helped me book acting jobs and I only secured a future internship through her.

Speaker 1 My girlfriend literally got on her knees, cried, and said she worked so hard for everything she had in life and what my mom said about her could have destroyed her and that she didn't want to lose me.

Speaker 1 So she destroyed your mom instead. When my mom called again, I expressed how angry I was that she was giving me this ultimatum and that I wasn't getting involved.

Speaker 1 She gets tearful and accuses me of resenting her for not giving me a privileged life. My grandma called me angrily and said that I was being a bad daughter who they didn't raise to become this.

Speaker 1 She refuses to listen to the fact that I'd be alone and possibly homeless if I chose sides. Am I the asshole?

Speaker 1 I feel like I should have the right to choose not to get involved in situations that are between my mom and my girlfriend. Am I the asshole for refusing to burn bridges when I don't have to?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 it's your mom. You should tell the truth.

Speaker 1 So your mom doesn't lose her job. Yeah.
Because that is the truth. She did not, according to her, she did not give any card numbers or anything.

Speaker 1 But also, she's talking about like this is between the mom and the girlfriend, like, but the girlfriend took a conversation you guys had in private and took into their.

Speaker 1 I'm just gonna harm the moms, like,

Speaker 1 which is crazy town, which is am I the devil shit?

Speaker 1 Yeah, this, this girlfriend is awful to her.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, dude. I mean, okay, like, the girlfriend is absolute super villain level.
I feel so bad for OP. I do, too.
Because I

Speaker 1 also know the situation where she's in, where she thinks she's the bad guy. So she's like, oh, no, my perfect girlfriend who's doing everything for me.

Speaker 1 Oh, I just got i want to stay out of this like i under i i i also we completely skipped over the vegas going out at night oh yeah and

Speaker 1 sending sending a receipt being like yeah i'm buying drinks for everyone getting home at 3 30 a.m not talking about it i'm like what even it's like yeah hey make me drink i gotta be honest two months into a relationship that's a deal breaker

Speaker 1 what are we why are we even talking about anything else absolutely like this story has so much and i almost feel like it's part of the play of like you build up so much that you forget the little small things of like oh this this one thing was the deal breaker right but you've layered it so hard

Speaker 1 that I'm losing track it also felt like retribution for not wanting sex absolutely yeah that's a good point because that's all this 21 year old kind of is to this woman it's

Speaker 1 which this is a novel of stuff and I'm sure the comments are gonna point out even more things that we miss because I'm I'm losing track of everything

Speaker 1 okay now What's interesting here is the verdict on this final update is asshole. That the OP is the asshole.
Oh, well, the ultimate. The OP is an asshole now for not telling her.

Speaker 1 For being like, I'm going to stay out of it. It's like, hey,

Speaker 1 you need to go help your mom. You do.
Telling the restaurant that she didn't share information, the girlfriend's not going to get in trouble.

Speaker 1 They're not going to call the girlfriend and be like, I know. You lied about that.

Speaker 1 She's not worried about the restaurant. She's worried about her girlfriend.
She is worried about making her girlfriend mad. Absolutely.
So, how did her girlfriend even find out?

Speaker 1 From what we don't know. That she's just scared.

Speaker 1 She's so lost.

Speaker 1 I hope a bunch of these comments were just like pointing out

Speaker 1 everything that is so clear to anyone who's reading this. We have one comment:

Speaker 1 you're the asshole. She completely screwed with your mom's livelihood and treated her horribly.
But you're siding with your girlfriend? Sounds like you are choosing money over family.

Speaker 1 Your girlfriend needs to call your mom's work and explain she lied, and then you need to seriously reconsider your relationship.

Speaker 1 If she treats your mom like that when she's mad, what will she do to you? This made me angry just reading it. I can't imagine how your mom feels.
Most of the comments echoed this same statement.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's deep and

Speaker 1 deep. She's deep.

Speaker 1 Oh man.

Speaker 1 That sucks. That really sucks.
I hope she chose to

Speaker 1 this was this was many years ago, so I don't know.

Speaker 1 That's so fucked up that she's so trapped. She's like, I'm living with her.
She gives me jobs. It It makes me so sad that so many people are in that.
Yeah. You know?

Speaker 1 And from the outside, it's so obvious. Just leave.

Speaker 1 It's hard not to just be like, what are you doing? But I'm like, they're not, they have been manipulated out of reality.

Speaker 1 Exactly. They're in a different, not real reality.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 here's hoping that that turned out better because we have no more updates. If anyone finds any sort of updates anywhere, let us know.
Let us know about that.

Speaker 1 Because I, poof, I'm going to be thinking about this one.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Our final story. Okay.

Speaker 1 This comes from Tales from Your Server.

Speaker 1 I still remember his Hawaiian shirt.

Speaker 1 Hey, could be cute. It's been a couple years on this one, but it was still one of the most memorable days serving I had.
It was maybe two in the afternoon, so the lunch rush had died.

Speaker 1 I was one of two servers on, maybe three tables come in. Two top comes in, a bigger guy in an orange Hawaiian shirt and a skinny girl in a casual dress.
Guy is a bit loud but obviously in a good mood.

Speaker 1 Orders his drinks super enthusiastically. He's a little annoying but friendly.
The girl looks a little embarrassed but they seem to know each other.

Speaker 1 Two older women are eating near them and are finishing up as I bring the guy and his companion their food. The guy points to the table with the women and asks me to please bring me their check.

Speaker 1 This is sweet but not unheard of. I thank him for his generosity.
He says no problem. He pays their bill.
I tell the women they're super happy.

Speaker 1 But then as I bring him the bill to sign, he sees a table of five sitting down.

Speaker 1 He orders a beer, says they are going to be there for a while, and to go ahead and bring him that family's bill too when they are done.

Speaker 1 To speed this up, he ends up paying for five tables total besides his own while he was there, and he told me after the first table to not point him out, just leave it anonymous.

Speaker 1 Four were two tops and all were happy, but the five top was absolutely stunned.

Speaker 1 It was two parents and their kids and I got the impression they didn't eat out a lot, but the mother seemed on the verge of happy tears.

Speaker 1 I still remember the dad asking for the bill and telling him, yeah, funny thing, there isn't one. I don't remember the exact numbers, but I made out really well that day, the other server too.

Speaker 1 He tipped me well over 20% on all other tickets and 100% on his own, which his own bill wasn't even that crazy. And all but one of the other tables tipped me as well.

Speaker 1 He finally left when the restaurant was empty, about 3.30, and he was the last table. I wonder if he would have kept going.

Speaker 1 We all have our share of customers we hope to never see again, but I'm sad I never saw Mr. Flaming Orange Hawaiian shirt guy again.
He was a cool dude. Oh, that's awesome.
Wow.

Speaker 1 I'd like Chris paying for my bill.

Speaker 1 You know what? I thought they were going to explain something. It's giving like a guy who just won like...
That's what I was thinking.

Speaker 1 He just won a scratcher of like 100K. So he's just like, let's go out to eat.
He's like, I'll buy theirs. I'll buy theirs.
That's sick. Incredible guy.
That's awesome. Love that.
That's so great.

Speaker 1 I've never had someone pay for my bill,

Speaker 1 but I've had a lot of drinks bought for me. I've never had either of those.
That's pretty cool, man.

Speaker 1 I've had the bill comp because I had lobster tempura and I took a bite of the lobster and then I was chewing. And then I was like, what the fuck? And out of my mouth, I pulled a rubber band.
Oh.

Speaker 1 It was like in the tempura batter. Yikes.
Whoa. It wasn't that gross, but it was still like...
It was still like, whoa, I could have eaten a rubber band. I was like, oh, God, I was just chewing on a.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Damn.

Speaker 1 Have either of you ever been tipped 100% or like just a really, really awesome tip? Oh, sure. Molly Shannon.
Molly Shannon tipped you hardcore?

Speaker 1 I don't know if it was like 100%, but like she would come in all the time and she was a literal angel. Yeah.
A joy. Let's go.
On this earth. The kindest woman.
And she was always just like, hey.

Speaker 1 That's so awesome. Amazing.
She's amazing. That's incredible.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love that.
A lot of big parties would just tip.

Speaker 1 It was already a 20% included, and they knew it, and they would just do another 20%. That's cool.
That's so great. That's really cool.
Well, there are good people out there. There are.
That's true.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm glad we ended with this nice positive one.
Yeah, we had the choice. We were given the choice of do we want to end on positive or bad.
And

Speaker 1 I'm very glad we ended on this and not the other stories. This is great.
Also, I want to know the woman that he's with story.

Speaker 1 I know. Who is she? I know.
Besides,

Speaker 1 skinny legend i know but keep on the lottery yeah

Speaker 1 oh well thank you both for joining me this was incredible this was a blast um and thank you for watching i'm sure we have tons of servers who watch this show uh let us know uh your horror stories down in the comments below yeah i'm so curious are your horror stories but also your best customers ever that would be great as well yeah get some out get some positive in the comments as well yeah um uh as always thank you for watching uh let us know what other themes and subds you'd like us to cover and we'll see you next saturday goodbye goodbye gotta get my daughter a drink she's gotta get looped up otherwise i fucking ain't gonna got anyways uh god yes

Speaker 7 get that mx gold card ready i'm too tired to cook we feeling five guys or the cheesecake factory both earn up to 120 dollars a year in statement credits of participating partners up to ten dollars each month when you pay the mx gold card.

Speaker 5 Learn more at AmericanExpress.com slash explore dash gold. Enrollment required.
Terms apply.