Stories That Make You Go "HUH?!" | Reading Reddit Stories

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Hello, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane.

Today we've got some classic Am I the asshole stories for you with a lot of them that'll make you go, huh?

A little bit of WTF in there.

I've got two people joining me who make me say WTF all the time.

Amanda and Damien.

And I'll keep making you say it till you learn your lesson.

What?

See?

Huh?

See?

Nani the heck?

What?

How's it going?

Oh, it was pretty good until I did that.

until I watched that whole thing happen and it got bad.

It got pretty wacky.

But good.

But we're good.

Okay.

Hey, thanks.

Do you guys get weirded out easily?

I'd like to think I'm non-sometimes.

No, I do.

I do.

I would actually say out of everyone here, I feel like you both like can handle weirdness pretty well.

I can totally handle it.

You can handle it.

I'm not going to yuck someone's yum until people are like in danger.

Otherwise, I'm like, hey, that's not for me, and I'm going to be way the hell over there, but like you enjoy yourself.

I would say, actually, now I'm going back.

I don't think it's weirded out.

I get like cringed out.

Sure.

But weirded out, not really.

Okay.

I could meet probably the weirdest person.

I'm like, good for you, man.

Hell yeah.

It's awesome.

Okay.

I love that.

You did it.

Hey.

Well, let's see if any of these stories make you go, what the hell's going on?

Huh?

Huh?

Wait.

What?

What is going on?

Okay.

Our first story comes from Am I the Asshole.

Am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend to suck it up around my clown figurines?

Oh.

She's got to love the clown figurines or what are you doing?

You know,

what are you going to do?

This is just fun.

This is a 26-year-old man.

Me and my girlfriend, who's 24, have been dating for two years.

Since we started dating, she's known that I love clowns.

I have several porcelain clowns displayed around my house on walls, hung from the ceiling on little swings and on shelves.

I adore these weird little creatures.

Well, last week I bought two Venetian masks from the thrift store and they're in great condition.

I got them for a decent price too.

She hates them.

She said they're creepy and give her bad vibes, whatever that means.

I told her that I would take down the masks when she's staying the night, but I'm not getting rid of them.

She told me that was fine.

Yesterday she got up and told me that we needed to talk.

She told me that she's sick of seeing my weird decorations and clown toys everywhere, that they're ugly and creep her out.

I asked her where this was all coming from because she has never mentioned my clowns before and she said me bringing those ugly fucking masks into our home was her last straw.

And my obsession with clowns was charming before, but now it's just disturbing.

I told her that I would take down the masks when she was over, but one, this isn't our home, it's my apartment.

And two, she's known about the clowns for years.

And to try to stop me from decorating my place how I please is controlling.

She told me either get rid of some of them or we're done.

I told her to just suck it up while she's here.

And if she can't, then I'll come to her place every week.

She didn't like that answer and called me a child before leaving.

I texted her to apologize for telling her to suck it up about the clowns, but she hasn't responded to me.

So am I the asshole for telling her to suck it up about my clown figurines?

No, not really.

I mean, he likes clowns.

It's his place.

He wants to look at masks and little things hanging on a swing.

That's his prerogative.

Yeah.

I don't know what to say.

Yeah.

Don't hook up there.

I get that.

That's really odd.

Eventually, if she wants a future with this guy, she's going to have to accept.

She's going to have to accept.

She's going to.

Or he has a clown room.

Is that worse, though, to know that there is a clown room behind a door in your home and it whispers to you as you walk?

To me, no.

Because I get to go, and there it is, and I never have to step in there.

Yeah.

But if it's everywhere, if we're sharing a home, if it's everywhere.

I mean, this could be a big, this sounds like a deal breaker for her.

But like, she has known about it.

Like, honestly, I feel like...

I think she added masks.

So is it the masks?

She did say get rid of some of the clowns.

What is the cap?

What is the clown?

I know.

Either get rid of some of them or we're done.

Like, depends on the mask.

I think it's the masks.

The masks seem to really take it to the next level.

Because those are a little creepy.

It depends.

I mean, look.

I've had

a lot of people and stuff like that basically.

I look at auctions all the time.

I have two Venetian masks that I'm watching right now just because.

Watching them?

Watching, and they watch me, and then whoever blinks first gets trapped in the mask and then their spirit comes out.

Ah, Amien.

That's how it works.

That's the shit that I think about though.

I'm like, that mask is going to take me to another fucking upside down place.

Nope, you're more powerful.

That's why you're here.

If they would have, they could have.

See?

Sorry.

But we've had this conversation about like, oh, I've got bugs on my wall and my boyfriend doesn't like it.

Like we've had this in multiple forms already.

I know a lot of people don't like clowns, but like that's what you're dealing with.

It's his place.

That's his interest.

It's like that, that is, it's kind of one of those things that's a tough deal breaker where it's like, you can't tell someone to change their whole interest or vibe.

You know, like, that's who they are and that's what they like.

It's, it's going to be hard to like.

bring that together if you really can't stand it, if it terrifies you.

And I relate to it terrifying you.

I don't, I don't like things with faces, with human faces.

Yeah.

I don't love decorations of any sort that have like a human face to them.

It just makes me uncomfortable.

Especially like if it's dark, I'm just like, I look over and and I see a little face there, just like, no, that's

like it.

That's like understandably scary.

And actually, that's well known.

I was streaming the other day, and there was like a little doll in the quest, and like the whole thing was like freeing its spirit.

And the game glitched, and his head looked up like in a very creepy way.

And multiple people in the chat were like, oh, Shane would have hated that.

And I was like, yeah,

I hated that too.

But,

and so that's why I bring down my dolls whenever you come over.

It's really scary.

You just lay them all out.

To me, I'm like, it's upsetting to make someone like hide away their stuff because it makes you uncomfortable.

Like, clearly, clowns is a part of his whole

vibe.

And like, you have to, I hate, suck it up is just the wrong phrase.

It's the wrong phrasing.

Yeah.

Suck it up.

I don't enjoy that.

No.

That's the only asshole part of this is to say suck it up.

Like,

it sucks because he, like, got a 99 on the test.

Yeah, he did well.

He did well.

He should have worn the mask and said, accept me.

Accept me, baby.

He's like, witness me.

Yeah, actually get into it.

No, it's just, yeah, suck it up is rude, but obviously his feelings were hurt and you sometimes don't know what else to say.

Like I've had conversations where I've with someone just been like, I don't really know what else to tell you.

So apparently there were a lot of no one's the asshole verdicts in the comments.

The verdict was not the asshole.

But a lot of them were saying, hey, I don't think anyone's the asshole here.

And I agree.

The suck it up comment might be, depending on

how exactly that was worded.

I mean, if he just said suck it up, yeah, it's rude.

But I think they're just truly at an impasse.

Like, this is a tough, this is a tough thing where you guys got to decide if you can handle this.

Because making someone either adhere to something that makes them uncomfortable or giving up something that means something to them, that's...

That's tough.

You know, that's really hard.

There might be a compromise in there, like the clown room, a clown car.

Well, here's the thing.

They're not together.

They're not living together.

But I will say, if he's like,

whatever, we'll just go over to your place.

But again, yes, that will be.

So it's like, you know, my sister's, she was dating this guy and he had this rocking chair that she hated.

It was like, but it meant so much to him.

Why did she hate the rocking chair?

I don't know.

She thought it was really fucking creepy.

It was not the rocking chair.

It was just the old man that appeared only at midnight.

That she saw.

That she could see through.

So she made him put it like...

When they were living together, like deep, deep, deep in the basement.

So you just opened the basement.

That's how you make something.

if you think something's haunted if you think something's haunted you don't put it deep in the basement that's

it's gonna get more haunted just a rocking chair

so then i had to experience the haunting so there are other people affected in this situation is what i'm trying to say but to our to our knowledge she has neither a clown phobia nor is there a ghost that we know that we know yeah like has a clown here's the other thing I think it would be a different story if like a clown has affected her in a bad way.

Yeah, sure.

Her dad was a clown.

I watched it when I was like five or six.

I got it.

I still like clowns.

I got a fender bender with a clown car, and all of them got out.

I haven't seen a clown car in a while.

Thank God you haven't just like mowed over them.

You're like, I killed 30 clowns.

I accidentally fender bent them on the car on the freeway.

It was alive.

She's like, I have a hard time with clowns because I killed one.

That's why I feel really guilty whenever I see it.

Whenever I close my eyes, I see them like, and that's just, you know, the last thing.

I guess they were facing me.

I ran them over.

I ran them over.

I tried to stop the bleeding, but all the candy kept falling

Goodbye.

Okay.

Comments.

Not the asshole.

As someone who isn't into clowns but loves Venetian masks, I can understand being creeped out by some of them.

However, her turning this on your entire interest for clowns that you've had your whole relationships makes her the asshole.

Also, if she's giving you ultimatums over how you decorate your own space based on your own interests, she's not the one.

There will be someone who will appreciate your collection, if not add to it themselves.

OP responded saying, that's the crazy thing.

She has bought me little clowns before.

She has found a print of two clowns kissing at an art fest she went to and she picked it up for me.

Oh.

Oh.

Okay.

I think it's the masks.

I think that threw her over the edge.

Yeah.

Does she hate Venice?

It is sinking.

That is sad.

That is, it's very sad.

Someone said, good thing you found this out about her now.

It isn't going to last.

You're not the asshole right now because it is your place.

But if the relationship progresses, you're likely to have a place together and then she won't allow it and you'll be right back at this point but with more feelings better to cut bait now and both get on with your lives find someone tolerant who doesn't care what your hobby is and you can put up with her creepy 18th century gothic porcelain doll collection too lastly someone said well not the asshole but no assholes here she has the right to have an opinion and voice it out you have the right to keep your stuff if both can't fit together you part ways i think what you explained is reasonable and she is entitled to her preferences yeah i mean i disagree with small things of how they both went about things but overall the end dilemma is the same and they're not assholes for how they feel about things.

Right.

One thing I wish I had learned when I was like much earlier in life was not to like change too much about yourself for someone.

Like people put up with so much at the beginning and it's like, do you like clowns?

And someone might just be like, yeah, totally.

Or like, do you like classic French cinema?

Yeah, totally.

Let's go watch some.

And then two years later, you end up in a spot like this.

Like, it's always better to be honest right off the bat and like, just if the person's not right for you you should say it like yeah it's hard I don't think she just started not liking clowns you know yeah

I think maybe it's as things are getting more serious that she's starting to be like okay I think he's adding more to the collection and she's like uh-oh

I thought we were kind of chilling for a little bit but that was enough yeah it's the masks it is the masks they they can be weird update

I knew it I wanted to clear up some things I saw in the comments.

I had a small collection started by my grandparents when I was a baby.

That's where I got my first swing jester.

The collection has grown in the last two years to expand to common decor and not just dolls.

For the update, she saw the post, she read the comments, and called me today.

She wasn't too happy about being called the asshole, but she apologized for being controlling.

Turns out she wanted to see if I'd get rid of my collection if it meant keeping her, like it was some relationship test.

Note, she did really hate the Venetian masks and didn't like that they are hanging above my bed.

I told her that if it came down between her needing me to get rid of them slash sell them for expenses, then I would of course do that.

But I'm not just going to get rid of my collection because someone says so.

She asked if we could move on from this and I told her no.

I don't like that she tried to test my love by asking me to get rid of my collection.

She left.

We're officially broken up now.

On the bright side, I can fill my house with more clown dolls.

I even found a music box one online that I might get.

Thank you everyone for helping me figure out that I wasn't in the wrong.

And to those saying I'm a serial killer for owning clowns, I've read quite a few comments from people collecting dead things.

So I think I'm in the clear on that.

There's some wild collections.

He kind of went the opposite direction

without that update.

Break up.

Well, here's the deal.

He never mentioned that the masks were over the bed.

I get that.

That's a weird one.

I'm telling you, it was all the masks.

If he just moved them away from the bed, that's not too crazy to ask.

I would agree with that.

No clowns in the bedroom, no masks.

He's like, see, I did it.

And now I'm going to be single forever and fill up my house with clown shit.

What if it was like, well, sometimes they're over my bed.

And then sometimes I find them in other parts of my house.

Yeah.

This is what I don't like.

This is the shit that I don't like.

If you said that to me, I'd be like, we're moving the fucking masks.

Yeah.

I honestly, I kind of respect that they did break up because for me, this was like, oh, it's probably about the principle of the thing.

Like, if I had any, like, I don't collect anything in particular, really, but it's like, if I had something and someone was like, I'm testing you with it, it'd be like, Yeah, that sucks.

Are we gonna, is, is it really just this, or is this gonna be a precedent we set?

And I don't like the precedent.

No, a test is a whole new thing.

Yeah, you're right.

I guess we're all the asshole when you really think about it.

It's so true.

Honestly, yeah.

But masks, no, thank you.

I guess we all kind of wear our own masks sometimes if you really think about it.

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Our next story.

Am I the asshole for getting my sister and girlfriend the same birthday present?

Huh?

Cake.

It depends on the gift.

Okay, here we go.

My girlfriend and sister have birthdays in the same month, so I went shopping for their birthday presents at the same time.

They both like perfumes and both have similar preferences in perfumes.

Sweet, edible, gourmand, and I found a perfume that captured the vibe and did it really well.

I knew they'd both like it, so I bought two bottles and gifted one to each.

My girlfriend thinks it's weird to give the same perfume to both your sister and your girlfriend.

I think that I got a gift that I knew each of them would like and enjoy, and that my thought process was that if they happened to be the same perfume, oh well.

Is that it?

That's it.

Here's the deal.

Am I the asshole?

Perfume changes with each person.

If they both like the perfume,

I don't really see the biggest.

I mean, I don't.

Am I weird for thinking that's not crazy weird?

I don't think you're weird.

I think it's like if I were in his shoes, I think I would have a problem with it because smell is so important and tied to emotion.

Like there's a certain, you know, smell that my dad used to wear.

And like...

You don't want your partner wearing that?

No, but I mean, like, if I smell that, like, I get a little choked up because it's the most direct connection to like, oh, man, you know.

But, like, I don't know,

if I had a partner that like smelled like my sister and I immediately thought, like, oh, that's my sister's smell.

I would feel a little weird.

Smell has a lot of memories.

I guess I was, here's what I was thinking about.

I was thinking about him trying to buy a gift for his sister and his girlfriend and being like, oh, they both like the scent.

Here we go.

It's fine if he's fine with it.

My thought process kind of is that when you do like the same gift for a bunch of people, that can work in a lot of contexts, right?

But like, this is two very important people in your life.

Like, this is your partner.

This is your spouse.

Yeah.

Or this is your girlfriend.

And this is your sister.

To get them the same gift kind of shows like, to me it's like it's not as special oh right like what's important with a gift is like the thought that goes into it right and i think this is a perfect example that this is probably an expensive perfume but because he got them the same thing he was just like oh this will work for both of you as opposed to putting special thought into both yeah as you're breaking it down i'm kind of like right

because i'm just i i struggle with giving gifts so that that would be something i although i would not get it also depends on the girlfriend right it depends like some people's love language is just not gift giving to the point where they wouldn't care about this this.

But clearly, his girlfriend did care.

And he didn't, like, he didn't think about that.

My husband got me the same fragrances, like, his mom.

I'd be like, okay.

I guess that's how this person's probably feeling.

I guess I'm putting.

See, here's the thing.

I am processing this real time.

I'm like, yeah, you're right.

Perfume for old ass ladies by Calvin Claude.

Awesome.

I'll get there.

Citrus and vanilla or whatever the fuck is that.

That's dream sicker right there.

The verdict was asshole.

Oh.

They did determine he was the asshole.

Now, this is the thing.

On this show, we read so many stories of people doing horrible things.

Yeah.

That this is like, this is a little bit more of what I call like sitcom level like

shenanigans.

Where it's like, it's like, you got the same perfume for them.

This is

horrible, but this is a binary like yes or no asshole situation.

Like, otherwise it's like, give me a full breakdown on why this was wrong.

And you can't, that's not what it is.

So,

and the comments show it.

Like, top comment, gently, you're the asshole.

Your heart may well have been in the right place, but perfume is a pretty romantic gift to give your partner.

And it absolutely sucks the romance right out of it to give the same gift to your sister.

You're not necessarily an asshole, but you're definitely the asshole here that has 8,000 upvotes.

OP says, fair enough, I see your point.

There is definitely a point to be made of like, oh, so when I wear this perfume, I'm going to smell like how your sister smells too.

Right.

And that's, that's not.

That's That's not fun.

That's not conducive for romantic situations.

And gift giving is so damn fun.

I love finding like, if you have a conversation with someone and they mention something, you just write it down.

And then later, like, I've, not to toot my own horn, but like, I'm good at a couple things.

And one is gift giving.

I can give some banger gifts because I've had people cry like, oh my God, this thing that I lost from my childhood.

I'm like, yeah, I listened when you told that story 10 months ago.

Like, it's not that crazy hard to do.

You're missing out on the fun, basically, by being like two for one special.

I'm envious of you.

My sister gives really good gifts.

She'll give like nostalgic memories that I only thought that I remembered, and she'll remember.

We had these like old Dutch big wooden shoes by our door that were yellow and so cute.

And we used to put them on when we were kids.

And she found me a painting of those exact shoes and sent them out of the blue.

And I was like,

How did you?

I love it.

She remembers everything.

Here's what you do: you re-gift it to her.

her.

No.

She'll love it.

No.

See,

I love giving gifts.

I love trying to find the right thing, but I'm really bad at shopping.

I don't know where to find shit.

And I don't even know for my own sake.

I'll be like, oh, I want this thing.

I don't know where to get it.

And then I'll try to search, and I'm just really.

That's where I'm bad at.

That's where I'm bad at it.

So I'll be like, oh, I know this person likes this thing.

I'll be like, I don't know.

Where is that?

Where do I get it?

Or what kind of thing out of that interest do I get?

Right.

That's where I start to struggle is the second part.

Right.

I feel that.

So update?

No update.

Yeah.

But we have two more comments.

Not necessarily an asshole, but you should definitely put more thought into the gift.

Why would someone want the same exact thing that you gifted someone else?

Instead of getting them something unique that matches them specifically, it's giving off the vibe, you just got something quick to kill two birds with one stone.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Lastly, someone said, you're the asshole.

The only way this would be worse is if you bought lingerie.

Okay, that I would have immediately been like, ew.

Yeah.

We've already had that story here.

Yeah, probably.

Well, yeah, it was like, I gave lingerie to my bestie and my girlfriend thought it was weird and we're like, I got news for you, Chipper.

Yeah.

Chipper.

I remember that one.

Our next story.

Am I the asshole for correcting a coworker about something?

Huh?

What the heck?

What the F?

What the H-E-double hell?

Correcting someone is a scary thing.

Yeah.

Correcting someone, even small, small little things, it can be a tricky situation.

Especially on grammar when they're talking and you correct their grammar.

You know, I had a friend like that.

Super doesn't like it as teachers when you're in first through 12th grade.

How much did you do that?

That's cool.

I learned not to, but my brain was like, don't you want to know the information?

And now I'm like, oh.

That's so sweet.

They probably ripped you up.

They hated me.

I can't believe I'm going to write this, but I don't know whether or not I'm actually this insensitive during this time and age, or if this is an extreme overreaction.

But I'm going to let you guys decide because I like to assume you guys are more emotionally savvy about this topic.

So here we go.

So about two weeks ago, me and another co-worker were talking about the topic of chocolate milk.

And well, she's one of the 10% of Americans that actually believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

No.

Correction, apparently someone commented that 7.4% of Americans actually believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows, which is a lot less than 10%, but still a lot, yikes.

I admit that I guffawed a bit, to which she took offense too, but I ended up apologizing, but telling her that I thought she was a bit silly and told her that chocolate milk is actually just regular milk with chocolate syrup, to which she got defensive and said that she didn't believe me.

So I asked her if I could show her proof that she was wrong, and she dared me to do so.

So I bought regular milk and chocolate syrup from a nearby store during my lunch, mixed it up, and gave it to her to drink.

And she was like, ha, I was craving chocolate milk and you got one.

Hell yeah.

My plan worked.

The long con.

Yay, chugged me.

Okay.

She ended up drinking it and just left in a huff and apparently just told our shift manager that she was leaving for the day because she felt attacked by me and demanded she needed a mental day, to which the shift manager didn't approve of, but she left anyway, so whatever.

But apparently this whole thing got everyone else's attention because my coworker made such a big scene about it, that it apparently attracted enough attention that my store manager had to personally call me to his office yesterday and tell me about what happened that day.

I didn't know at the time, but I really offended that poor coworker of mine so much that she told my store manager about how she couldn't work with me anymore and that she even reported me to HR for discriminating against her beliefs.

And that I apparently caused enough mental damage that she couldn't even go back to work due to how much I humiliated her over chocolate milk.

My store manager even wrote me up and warned me that the next time I acted in such an offensive manner like that, I would be fired.

I mean, I'm already quitting and starting a new job, anyways, but I'm worried about whether or not I'm actually the asshole for this and if I should be more careful for my next job.

I cannot.

They work at the place that makes Cadbury cream eggs with their chocolate chickens.

Honestly, though, I'm like, where are we?

What's happening here?

Oh my God.

Some people really,

some people cannot handle buffaloes.

It's like buffalo chicken.

You're wrong.

And it's like buffalo chicken, which comes from buffaloes.

Yeah, and it totally does.

Or Rocky Mountain oysters, which are oysters that are up in the Rocky Mountains.

Oh, my God.

I love how they get oysters up there.

It's so fun.

So good.

Stick onto the mountains when it rains.

I can't.

They're like, ah!

We're going to grow here.

We're going to stay here forever.

Colorado is actually pretty nice.

Dude, look, there's a lot of people who like, we carry certain beliefs from childhood, and it's only those moments where you're like, oh, snap.

Like, I had a moment like maybe a year or two ago, but like way too late, where, you know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus.

I was like, oh,

you know, kids close your ears.

But I was like, maybe that, okay, the dad is dressed up as Santa Claus.

I thought that was a literal song about like, oh, mom's kissing Santa because there's a mistletoe.

And then, haha, I hope dad doesn't know.

And I was like, oh, that's the whole point of the song.

And you just don't think critically about those things.

You thought Santa was macking it with the mom.

Macking it with the mom, because why else would he do do the whole toy thing?

You got to get something out of it.

Sorry.

I'm just going to yes and it.

I'm going to just keep yes standing and digging myself.

Stand here at all.

But like, you can't double down and then be like, oh yeah, prove it.

And then if you're proven wrong,

crumble.

So it's chocolate.

Mel.

I know.

Yeah.

Look, nowadays, especially with the internet, we all believe things that, you know, we find out later were wrong.

Like, it's so common.

I think it's important to have that shred of that amount of doubt with anything where it's like, oh, that fact that I know.

Oh, is it wrong?

Oh, okay, it's wrong.

We all have these things, but it's important to like, when you're like, oh, wait, is that right?

And I sometimes even just second guess that stuff myself.

And I'll Google it.

Wow, I can't believe I was thinking that.

What I'm thinking about is the HR person.

What are they thinking?

Because they have to go about this as like, okay, I have to address this.

The boss has to address it.

But it's like.

I'm curious too.

I'd be fascinated.

I don't know much about HR.

Like in a business setting, what are the parameters of how you go about these things, right?

I just keep thinking now about her once she finally drank the chocolate milk that he made right then.

If she just took a sip and then she goes,

we really landed on the moon, didn't we?

Like, that's probably what she said.

Actually, no, that one's not.

That's what she said.

That one's not.

Why would the wind blow?

No.

The verdict was not the asshole.

Yeah.

And the comments, not the asshole.

The good thing out of this is that you're moving away from this work environment.

I can't believe someone would go to such an extent over chocolate milk.

Random gift idea on your last day of work, bringing chocolate milk as a gift for everyone for the fun of it.

She's gonna kill you.

Yeah, you're gonna be mad.

This last comment says, where does she think strawberry milk comes from?

Someone replied to that saying, not the asshole.

Where does evaporated milk come from?

And someone said, the souls of dead cows.

It's ghost milk.

milk.

Ghost milk, ghost milk.

So where does strawberry milk come from?

We don't know.

I said pigs.

Oh my god, pigs.

And then it gets even weirder once it's just like, where does oat milk come from?

Goats.

Almond milk.

That's great.

Goats.

Stop.

It's like skim milk, but you take off the G and it's oats.

Oat milk is just skim goat.

Oat milk is

crazy.

Oat milk.

That's crazy.

I have a hard time believing that he got written up for this, though.

I would foresee an HR person being like, hey, I heard heard about what happened with Janice.

That's kind of weird.

Just we're not going to put you on Janus with Janice for a while.

Yeah, Janice.

Janice, honestly, I want to know, I think Janice didn't like this guy.

I think she's like,

probably not.

And he's like, hey, I'll bring this in for you.

Like, we don't know how he did it.

I'm not saying anything, but like, Janice,

her name is Janice now.

Maybe she just didn't like this guy and she was so annoyed.

And she was like, you know what?

You're a bully.

And at the end of the day, we're reading this and all we're hearing is the chocolate milk story.

True.

Yeah.

It's true.

That's just me giving another fun side of it.

But other than that, it's chocolate milk.

Well, that's true.

Whatever conspires, if at the end of it someone hands me a glass of chocolate milk, I'm not going to be scared.

You're going to chog it.

You're going to chug it.

All I want to see is Shane chugging chocolate milk.

You're going to chug it.

You're going to chog it.

Hey, I'm going to have to write you up.

If you appear in court and get the taillight fixed,

this goes away.

Here's some chalky milk.

Like, yeah!

Woo!

Dude, I also think, if anything, if I were the manager, I'd be like, wait, sorry, hold, hold the phone.

Why are you making chocolate milk?

You didn't have a break at the same time.

What were you doing?

That's why you got rode up.

Yeah.

You went to the store and got chocolate and milk.

That's as much as we pay you in an hour.

Why did you do that?

That's your week's worth of pay.

I want chocolate milk.

Garcon?

Garçon?

Garcon?

It is low-key really good.

I think strawberry milk is a little bit better.

Dude,

I don't hate that opinion.

We were kindred spirits.

I don't hate that opinion.

Thank you.

No.

Damien, don't you have some lore with vanilla milk?

Shane and I do, yeah.

And I ended up making it on the lunchtime with Ian and Anthony, but Shane had a then-girlfriend that was like over and just like, God, I'm so hungry right now.

I could eat anything.

And I was like, oh, I could make you some vanilla milk.

Just like randomly, like it was all I had.

Just

you drink milk when you're hungry because it slightly fills you up and it's tasty when it's vanilla.

Those are the two ingredients I have.

I was broke in 24.

We had like no, we had like no food in this place.

Guys, no.

There was nothing there.

There was nothing there.

No.

You guys can't do this.

What do you mean?

It was amazing.

This lifestyle is crazy.

You made her vanilla milk.

No, I often said no.

Of course she did.

Of course she did.

Her tummy was going to hurt all night.

I guess beggars can be choosers.

I hate that.

What is your recipe for vanilla milk?

Homie, it's like it's vanilla and milk and sugar.

It is vanilla milk.

It's not really good.

I don't know why, but as a female, if I were to go over to your house and it's two boys and they just have a couch, no art, and they're just like,

you know that's what they have.

They have a PlayStation, one couch, a shit pillow, and no art.

It was a wee.

My room was awesome, and we had an NCC4, too.

Vanilla milk?

And first of all, not my girlfriend.

I don't care.

I'll fart and then leave.

It's my house.

Two, my room is the big one, so I had a sofa and TV and art in my room.

Yeah, the rooms were.

This is just shaking.

The living state.

No, we were out in the hallway and the kitchen.

The kitchen, which was awful.

It was big, but it was awful.

Most of the cupboards were coming off.

Of course it was.

And you guys were like, home, sweet home.

There were ants and flies.

Cheap.

Cheese.

Really cheap.

Scary place.

Scary place.

Crazy old man sometimes ended up in our yard at home.

I can't.

I don't know why this is making me laugh so hard because I'm like, it's true.

These guys exist.

And it's you guys.

It was like over a decade ago, Amanda.

No, and that's fine.

The cow that made the milk is dead now.

Can we move on?

Oh, God.

And us women, we still come over.

And we still sleep over.

AC did not work.

They just didn't want us to use it because it was expensive.

I'll say this, Amanda.

23-year-old guy, real vanilla extract?

That's not cheap.

No.

Okay.

That is true.

That's the good stuff.

That's good shit.

Who bought that?

Oh, that was me.

That was my private reserve.

So I'm just worried about you then, I think.

I think you're welcome.

I know.

Oh, boy.

Should have hunted something for her.

I don't know.

In the city of Los Angeles?

Yeah.

There was nothing to hunt.

The stray cats that lived in our backyard were eating everything.

I can't.

I can't.

There was a whole family of stray cats that lived on our roof.

Babe, I'll go get you something.

Because,

I had to shepherd them out of our shed one time.

It was funny.

Yeah.

God.

What a time.

Stay in the line.

The shed where Shane lived.

Let's move on.

That's true.

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Our next story.

Am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend she needs to get a real job and she will never be a famous comedian?

Woo!

What's with these guys in this wording?

The wording is just.

This is a 31-year-old man, and my girlfriend is 28.

She and I have been together for six years and have been living together for the last two.

I'm going to attempt to keep this short, so please ask for details if I leave something out.

Girlfriend has always enjoyed doing comedy and has done open mic nights since we've met shortly after college.

She had a real sales job, though.

That was her Monday to Friday nine-to-five job, where she made decent money.

I have a good but hard job and make almost triple what my girlfriend was making when she had her job.

I said had because last August she quit her job because it was taking away from her comedy ventures.

She told me a year from now she thinks she can really make it.

I was a bit skeptical but since I make enough to support us I encouraged her because I want to be a supportive boyfriend.

Since she quit her job she began doing Uber and DoorDash which is where she makes 100% of her money.

Her comedy has gotten us zero dollars.

Over the past few months I have started to resent her though.

She constantly complains she has no money, yet drives for Uber or DoorDash maybe three times a week for maybe four hours at a time.

I've been paying a lot more for household expenses and I'm not saving as much as I'd like to anymore.

She sleeps till noon because sometimes her open mics run real late before she even gets to perform.

And when she gets up, she just bums around on TikTok and YouTube looking for inspiration.

She also gets very moody with me if I don't come to 90% of her open mic performances.

Even after working a 14-hour day, she will get mad if I don't go to her open mic at 11 p.m.

on a Tuesday.

Last night, I did the unthinkable.

I asked her to consider going back to a full-time job.

I said she should still do her comedy, but I'm struggling with taking care of our expenses all by myself.

When she gave a dismissive answer, I told her firmly that she will never be a famous comedian.

I said she's 28 and it's time to grow the fuck up and join the real world because this is totally unfair to me that I bust my ass while she lives in La La Land and that she can't be this naive at this age by thinking she's going to support herself with this.

She stared at me in silence for a few minutes, started crying, and went to stay with a friend.

She called me a fucking dickhead asshole and I'm the worst friend ever.

She has not answered her phone today yet.

So am I a fucking dickhead asshole?

Yeah.

28 is not old.

No.

I get where he's at, but here's the thing.

He let his resentment get too fucking far.

That's correct.

That's the thing.

It's like he was not cool with it and he let it get too far.

Yeah.

And so he said, the really hurtful thing.

Yeah.

That's where he's the dickhead.

Yeah, there's a lot of communication that should have come before it gets to that point.

And telling someone you're never going to make it is also just

simply, you can't say that as a true statement.

You just don't know.

You don't know.

Now, what is true is she's trying to break into one of the hardest industries to break into.

Like definitively, and even if you are successful, I think any stand-up would tell you it's going to take a long time.

Years and years.

That's why I said 28 is like baby.

But also, it's 28.

It's like you're probably not going to be making money as a stand-up until you're 40.

No.

Because you have to put in so many years.

Right.

100%.

I think everything up to what he said about her never making it was understandable.

You're right.

He let his resentment build up.

He had way too high level of a conversation for where they actually were at in terms of communicating with each other.

But yeah, I mean.

you don't have a job right now.

Yeah.

Like, and you can't just be like, oh, I'm working on my inspiration.

Until you're actually

doing the thing,

you have to balance a couple jobs and contribute.

Yeah.

And how he's feeling is completely fair.

Also,

she, how she's going about this is, is a bit weird and all over the place, because it's like, you quit your job because you're trying to go to all these open mics, but you expect him to go to the open mics.

Right.

But that's why you quit your job so you can go to them because they're late.

She's definitely, she's definitely struggling.

She's definitely like, I will say it is very,

this is what's hard is when you are supporting your partner, it's very hard.

You have to be very honest with yourself about what that is.

Because if you're like, I love you, I'm going to support you.

It's like, no, you have to be very honest what it looks like because resentment is going to build because if you're having your partner come home and they're complaining, they never have any money, they're sleeping till noon, that is really stressful on the other partner who's spending a lot of money.

But I just don't think either of them were super honest with each other.

And she probably doesn't feel good either.

I doubt she's like, yeah, I'm going to sleep till noon and and I got my sugar daddy.

I mean, I don't know her.

She probably feels shame and guilt and all that stuff.

But like, I just think a lot of couples, they're not super honest with themselves.

I think so many times in your relationship, you're going to be the one who's making more money at some certain point.

But a lot of people handle it differently.

Some people hold it over the other one's head.

Some people are like, well, I've been paying for everything.

So you have to do this thing with me.

So it's, I just don't think the communication was given out.

I just think that's a really harsh way of going about it.

Oh, what he said was way too harsh.

The verdict is one we don't get off in here, which is everyone sucks here.

And people are like, hey, I think everyone sucks here.

And I definitely see that because

what's needed is just some communication between the two of them.

Because also what she's saying is like, oh, I'm going to make it in the next year.

It's like, that's also.

just not going to happen.

That doesn't happen in the industry.

Even if things go really yellow.

Even if you do make it, you could go all the way back to zero.

So making it pretty early on is probably still not enough to pay bills.

Like you're going to be making some headway.

You're going to be making some connections.

That's cool.

What people also need is like, they need a game plan.

If you're going to go into any major change with your partner, where you are entering into this covenant of like, you pay for everything and I will make it, you have to be like, all right, so by this date, if things aren't looking all right, can we talk about, you know, and revisit like what does this look like?

like you said because obviously resentment built up and they didn't have any way to stop it and like pull the ripcord yeah I think what's also tough is that it's like she she quit her job to pursue this other career but that new job is only the show she's going to at night so what he's seeing is also her at home a lot.

She's doing DoorDash like for a total of like 12 hours.

12 hours a week.

So compared to him, so he's like, okay, like, is this a fair trade-off?

he'd also mentioned like oh she's watching a lot of tick tocks for inspiration and i'm like i don't know this person i don't want to do any snap judgments but it is like okay if you're pursuing every avenue to get your name out there and be seen is she not making a bunch of tick tocks is she not doing comedy on tick tock i was gonna say like that's weird most stand-ups i know or people in stand-up are you're a full-time performer so you are usually working during the day.

You are usually doing other things.

They're usually like actors or or yeah like pushing their comedy out on other platforms like you kind of have to be multifaceted nowadays you should be working all the time you have to be doing a lot of stuff and the people I know who are finding any sort of success they work their asses off yep they're doing a lot of stuff and I think if she wants I think she might need to be realistic of like if she wants to make it she's gonna have to it's not gonna be easy.

These are the conversations they should have had.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's why I feel like him taking care of her wasn't necessarily the right step.

I also wonder what city they're in and stuff.

Yeah, where are they?

I don't know.

And I don't know much about the stand-up sphere, right?

I know it's a whole other industry, but it's similar to what we do.

I also, my thought is like quitting your job, I'm like, as a stand-up, don't you need like a lot of material?

Like, wouldn't being at home all day, you're not going to get material.

And watching stand-up on TikTok and YouTube is not your own material.

You need to like...

go out and be out to get stuff.

Maybe I'm wrong there, but um that's your tight five right there.

That's the material.

I could could be wrong.

Yeah, because most, a lot of people I know who are at stand-ups, like, you know, they don't always have a partner who can provide for them.

So they are having to work and provide for themselves.

Getting into any sort of creative industry is fucking brutal.

It's brutal.

And I will say, like, when I first moved out here, yeah, I was working all night as a bartender, going to auditions during the day, but it...

It made my work better because you're constantly on.

You're constantly meeting people.

You're constantly like getting ideas and inspiration.

And that's why i just like

i think he thought that it was helpful because he cared for her but in fact i think it hinders

her so much because i mean she's sleeping till super late she's on her phone and she's like i don't have any money and like i feel like in that position i i love helping out someone when i'm able to you know but like i'd probably be like yeah because you quit your job like yeah sometimes it's hard to hear it's one thing to hold space sometimes it's hard to hear someone complain about something that you're like yeah you burned your hand because you touched the stove exactly I also unfortunately reading this story I question

how funny he thinks his partner is oh no you know because it's like it's like if he's going to her shows and he's like oh my god she is so good at this like she is I don't think I don't think

and she's killing the room she's he's not mentioning that you know because the story that I think about when I think of stories like this is the guy who made Stardew Valley

because he spent like five years working on this, but his girlfriend kind of had to like provide for them because he was making this video game that was not out.

But she probably at some point saw and was like, you're talented.

This looks cool as hell.

Exactly.

I see the promise of what you're making here.

So we're going to, this is our endeavor together in a way.

And now, I mean, I think that that game's made a little bit of money.

A little bit.

Yeah, just a little bit.

If you believe that your partner is going to do what they need to do, then you can support them.

You have to secure your own mask before helping someone else with theirs.

What kind of mask?

Like a Venetian haunted, though.

No, but like if you feel like you're drowning, like you have to make sure you're like, I have to be alive first so I can help you swim.

Right.

So, right.

What I will also say is with stand-up, you could also be an incredible stand-up, and it's just such an awful incident.

Stand-up is really

for a camera.

Even if you're incredible, it's still going to probably take you 10 years.

And you will always be doing the 1 a.m., 2 a.m.

slot for years and years and years and years.

Yeah, man.

Comments.

Was there a discussion on how long you'd be willing to foot the bill before she started working again, or was this left unanswered?

OP responded, she told me she thought she would see significant progress in a year.

I didn't agree to help for a year specifically.

I think what has set me off is that there is literally zero forward progress.

I think it's also rough.

I mean, I learned this the hard way.

I think we all do when we come out and pursue an industry like this.

Being like, okay,

I feel good about the next year or whatever.

It's kind of like, if you enjoy this and you wanna do this forever, even if you're not gonna get paid, then that's great.

If you're expecting something to happen,

I always tell people like that, you have to love this and love it enough to know that like you might be working all day as a waiter just so you can do some community theater at night.

And that has to be enough for you at a base level.

Otherwise, you're not going to survive it.

No, someone said a good friend of mine when I first met him out here was like, I mean, it'll take you 10 years just to maybe scratch the surface.

And I remember being like mortified by that because I had this whole image like, okay, I'll come in, I'll do my work, and then, you know, maybe I'll move back home and then I'll go from there.

And it was like 10 years later.

I mean, I bartended for eight years out here.

10 years later was when I was finally like, oh,

I see what's happening here.

Yeah.

Postcards to casting directors don't work.

Yeah.

Especially not their home address.

Well, and it's also whatever.

It's also the thing that we learned of like, there's no such thing as success either.

You'll book something with like my big break.

Yeah.

And then all of a sudden cut to three years later and you're like, oh, I can't get an audition.

What that is?

It doesn't exist anymore.

I don't know if it, yeah, it's like it, but for most people, it's just,

you can't expect like success to just come.

You have to enjoy doing the thing.

Like if you enjoy acting, enjoy like going to acting classes or doing local theater plays.

Like that's if you enjoy that and that's all you you want to do, then yeah, you can keep pursuing it.

Yeah.

And doing it, it's almost like you can't, it's not pursuing.

It's like, no, you're, if you enjoy being an actor, be an actor.

You're living it.

Be an actor and know that that whatever is happening on a day-to-day basis might be what happens forever.

And if you're okay with that, then great.

You can't do it on the expectation of something

big happening to you.

Other comments, I'm listening to Leslie Jones' memoir right now, and she mentions frequently how she doesn't believe in starving artists.

She says you have to work work to support yourself if you are trying to make it as an artist, and she worked many, many odd jobs until she made it, even during times when she lived with a partner.

While I do think OP was a little harsh, his girlfriend is taking advantage of the fact that she lives with a partner to support her.

If she was single, she would not have this luxury.

She doesn't even have to go back to a regular nine-to-five, it sounds like.

OP would be okay if she drove full-time for Uber Eats, which at least would give her some flexibility.

Lastly, someone said, as a girl who took care of her boyfriend in the almost same scenario, but let it carry on for way, way too long, you are not the asshole.

It is not your job to take care of both you and another human you did not birth.

And it is not your job to cater to emotions because, in the end, who's catering to yours here?

Care about yourself.

You can love her, but she can love you too by being able to take care of herself while still exploring her passions.

Are those two going to get together?

No.

O.P.'s like, you're so right.

Can I get your number?

Yeah.

Yes, it's one.

I'm very important.

but yeah i think it i just think like uh to speak about their situation this just needed way more of a game plan together yeah that just sounds like they're both on their own journeys and it's probably the first time he's like ever really had to experience this so he was probably and he's he doesn't do stand-ups so he's probably like okay a year okay that's not bad whereas like we know in the industry like that's not possible.

Specifically with stand-up,

being like, oh yeah, I think I'm going to make it in the next year is that shows that she, I don't think she knows much about the industry.

No, people who book huge shows are still doing fucking open mics at 1 a.m.

But it's always like my favorite thing with stand-ups is like, oh, this new stand-up that I just found.

It's like, yeah, and here's his set from the 90s.

You're like, oh my God.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's brutal.

All right.

Our next story.

What the heck?

Am I the asshole for not explicitly stating my punch is non-alcoholic?

Okay.

I, a 25-year-old woman, recently attended a potluck style work party and brought punch, which has since caused a problem between myself and another coworker, a 42-year-old woman, who we'll call Sandy.

Last week, my boss hosted a party at his house to celebrate the end of the busy season, and a job well done.

All of my coworkers and their spouses were invited, and we decided it would work well to do a potluck to offset the cost of feeding everyone.

About 35 people, since not everyone who came brought a spouse or significant other.

I volunteered to make a punch that I've brought to previous work events that everyone said they enjoyed, as well as some fruit to go with it.

This was a casual party with alcohol present, but since I have some co-workers who don't drink, I didn't add any alcohol to this punch and figured that if people really wanted some, they'd just add it themselves.

Fast forward a couple hours and Sandy is getting even louder and more dramatic than normal and is stumbling around the party.

I didn't think much of it.

and figured she brought her own drinks or was adding some of the host's alcohol that was put out into something else.

She suddenly fell off the chair she was sitting on and made a big show of saying that it's because she was so drunk.

She then asked me in front of the rest of our coworkers what it was that I put in the punch.

I was confused and told her what was in it.

Just a mix of ginger ale, 7-up, orange juice, and a can of juice concentrate.

And she wanted to know what alcohol I put in it because she's been drinking it all night and is really feeling it.

I told her that I didn't put any alcohol in it and asked if maybe someone else had spiked the punch bowl.

Nobody said they added anything and one of my coworkers who doesn't drink even said that they'd also been drinking the punch all evening and was still completely sober.

I also would like to clarify that I understand how context can matter.

Like if everyone else was really drunk then that can make even a sober person feel like they're loaded, but that definitely was not the vibe.

Sandy was the only person acting drunk.

She then got really quiet and went by herself to the bathroom.

The rest of my coworkers and I exchanged some awkward glances and tried to laugh it off.

She left shortly after and I received an angry text from her about how I shouldn't have embarrassed her like that and that now she looks like an idiot in front of our bosses and the rest of our coworkers.

She's been hostile to me at work ever since and is basically refusing to talk to me.

I didn't think I did anything wrong and most of my coworkers agree with me, but some say that I should have just let her go on thinking that the punch was alcoholic to save her the embarrassment.

And I'm wondering now if I'm in the wrong.

Am I the asshole?

She probably got lit off all the soda or something.

She was just having a sugar hook.

She's like,

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Yeah.

Sandy?

Do you think Sandy sobered up immediately?

She was like, what the hell is wrong with you?

Oh, my God.

I'm so drunk.

There's no alcohol in that.

What are you talking about?

Dude.

I mean, it is.

Oh, my God.

It is kind of embarrassing.

Okay,

I would say if I was in that position,

oh, God, but she was just being honest.

I think it's a bummer when you're 42 because this happens.

Nobody likes you when you're.

This is common in like middle school and high school, right?

Like, I remember this happening where it's like, oh my God, I'm so drunk.

I think the catnip is actually working.

if you do enough

but it's like when you're young or like when you're first like drinking you know it's like i don't know i can see you being fooled and and because of uh you know peer pressure wanting to fit in or whatever you're 42 you're 42 it's embarrassing is all i mean you drink a lot of fruit punch yeah i don't know what else she could have said though because she said a lot of other people were listening and some people at the party don't drink so first of all i'm a little confused she shouldn't lie she shouldn't lie and i'm like confused if i were like because i don't drink if i saw a bowl of punch, I'd be like, hey, is this alcoholic?

Like, I'd have to check first.

I would assume it was alcoholic as opposed to the other way around.

Well, that's what Sandy did.

That's what Sandy did.

But if other people are listening who don't drink and she's just like, oh, actually, there's just a bunch of gin and rum in it, it'd be like, oh, shit, what?

Like, now you're making someone else uncomfortable by lying.

Like, I don't know.

But she brought this punch to other work events, so people already knew about the punch, is what she was saying.

But she said she didn't put alcohol in it this time.

Did she say that?

Didn't she?

She was like, hold on.

I knew there were people that didn't drink, so this is non-alcoholic.

She's like, this has been a hit at other places.

I knew people didn't drink, so this one's non-alcoholic.

Okay.

So then, in my opinion, I will say maybe she should have put a note, like

non-alcoholic punch.

Right.

But not.

She's not.

You should put a note for non-alcoholic punch so that just people know who are trying to avoid alcohol.

Right.

For Sandy's sake,

that's not what I would have been.

Oh, Sandy.

You don't need to label things as non-alcoholic so that people who are drinking alcohol know like that.

How dare you?

Yeah, more specifically for people who are sober.

Why am I drinking this juice all night?

I also feel like,

it's like, great.

You got to feel.

Hey, Sandy, awesome.

You got to feel drunk and you're not going to be hungover tomorrow.

Yeah.

Well, I feel like, was Sandy just trying to like...

Do something for it?

Oh, look at me.

I'm so drunk.

I've had a lampshade on my head.

Like, was it like all eyes on Sandy kind of thing?

The SIBO effect is real.

Her reaction after finding out that it wasn't alcoholic is what makes her an asshole.

She got stooped.

Here's the thing, is

these stories all have a theme.

It's like these people get stooped and they blame the other person.

It's like, hey, just, I get it.

It's embarrassing.

Totally.

Take a moment to process.

Don't send an angry text to someone who literally just made a punch.

That's also why I think it's so bizarre.

Like, the angry reaction is what gets me.

Because if I were drinking punch and, I, because I used to have alcohol, if I were drinking punch and felt drunk and then learned that it wasn't alcohol, I would share that and be like, that's crazy because I've been feeling myself get crazier all night.

Yeah.

Isn't that weird, you guys?

As opposed to like, you made me look like a fool.

I'm like, that feels almost like there's an agenda.

Yeah.

It's especially when someone just tells me a fact.

It's not like you didn't insult me.

You just are telling me a fact about this situation.

That's not punch.

That's chocolate milk.

But there are no brown cows in the tri-county area.

Where did you get this?

I'm just like, people, just take, you know, take ownership of your stuff.

But like, I get it.

Poor Sandy.

She must have been so embarrassed.

Like, what if she fell and broke the chair?

It could have been.

And now she did it sober, so she's responsible.

Wow.

That's true.

Comments.

Of course you're not the asshole.

Sandy was experiencing a placebo effect not uncommon when people truly believe they're drinking alcohol.

That's embarrassing, but it's not your fault.

The truly a-hole thing to do would be to let people believe an alcoholic punch was alcohol-free.

That could really harm someone.

If she makes your life hard over this, you're going to have to take it to management for mediation.

It's a ridiculous thing to hold against you in the office place.

20,000 upvotes.

That is

someone said, how would it be any less embarrassing if the punch actually was alcoholic?

Either way, it means Sandy doesn't have the sense to limit or moderate her drinking in front of her bosses and co-workers at a work party, not the asshole.

Someone else said, oh, Sandy, Sandy, Sandy.

Someone said,

my sister-in-law got so drunk once off of Sprite that she ended up in the bathroom eating the strawberries and cream conditioner before crying for 30 minutes about how bad her strawberry daiquiri was.

So that's a different situation.

That's different.

I feel like that's something separate.

That person should do their own post.

We would call that an episode.

That's

something separate.

But I will say, you could like be drinking non-alcoholic beer and you're like, ooh,

I feel kind of like a little bit of a drink.

Falling off a chair though?

Like, I've never had that experience.

Maybe other people have.

I'm honestly curious.

How drunk can you be off of placebo?

Like, too loud, falling over drunk?

I don't know.

Placebo could be extremely powerful.

But usually the context is also important.

for these things.

And like, if she's saying like nobody else was really that level of drunk, it's wild that she got to that level.

Yeah.

But it also means, it means even though there wasn't out, even though she wasn't drinking alcohol that night, it's like you might need to tone it down a little bit.

If you were drinking that much that you believed you were that drunk, yeah,

maybe lay off the punch.

I think it's a sprite.

Wow.

Hey, I think it's a sprite.

I mean, it's like kids at sleepovers when they drink mountain dew.

A lot of shit.

Or Spencer.

Mountain Dew.

That's how Spencer gets when he's off camera.

Spencer's like, ah!

Mountain Dew easy.

Did you see him screaming down the hall?

Mountain Dew is alone.

He ripped off his shirt.

I was like, Spencer?

I'm kidding.

Doing cartwheels.

Anyways,

wild.

No updates.

No updates.

Sandy was found dead.

In the clown guy's basement.

I require more faces for the wall.

God, see?

Clowns are scary because he makes them scary.

She feels scarlet.

She got pulled over by a cop, and the cop was like, have you been drinking?

And she's like, yes.

Yes, but no.

And I wanted to.

And the meter's showing zero.

And she's like, no, I promise I have.

I drunk.

The meter just comes with

like a digital cow.

Straight from the teen of the brown cow.

Our final story.

This is the one.

No!

Yo, huh?

Am I the asshole for not attending Bachelorette trip?

Is there an article there?

I have a hot take about this already, so let's go.

Am I an asshole for not attending Bachelorette?

For not attending Bachelorette trip.

No article.

My best friend is getting married this June, and I am one of the bridesmaids.

Her bridesmaid trip is set for the end of May in Chicago.

We will be driving there and it's over four days.

However, I don't want to attend the trip anymore.

We have booked the Airbnb which was $176 per person and I paid my portion.

Her demands from us for a wedding have gotten out of hand.

Her wedding is over three days and we have three different bridesmaid dresses which have cost me $700 and it costs $200 to get them altered.

Makeup for the weekend is $225 per person and I haven't even gotten my shoes or jewelry.

Not to mention she is requiring us to have certain hairstyles which would require hair extensions which would cost me at least $200.

Financially, this is becoming too much for me.

I know I agreed to be her bridesmaid and I am willing to fulfill my duties during the wedding.

However, going to Chicago and spending all that money is something I am no longer willing or able to do.

I won't be asking back my portion of the Airbnb because that was my contribution I made willingly.

I have yet to tell her that I won't be going to Chicago, but am I the asshole for not going?

Up until now, I have attended and participated in every way as a bridesmaid and been there when she needs me, but the trip is too much.

Sounds like she simply can't afford the trip, and I don't really blame her.

Yeah, man.

I would say not the asshole.

I think some of these bachelorette parties are out of control, and they're very like...

They're just too much.

They're very controlling.

And the amount of money, you can't expect people to spend that amount of money.

Like that, already three different dresses and hair extensions.

Also, some women don't want to get hair extensions.

Like that to me is overboard.

So I think it's actually really honorable that she's going to pay for the Airbnb and then be like, I'm so sorry.

I literally cannot afford this trip.

Yeah.

I think she's totally in her right to say that.

If you can't afford it, what are you supposed to do?

That being said, like, it just sounds like it's an uncomfortable conversation because this friend has a lot of expectations.

Your friend, if they have this many specific expectations about their wedding and everything surrounding it, is going to be disappointed and probably upset with you.

But you're not an asshole.

Like,

also, circumstances change.

You agree to something wedding-related like a year or two down the road, and then it's like, oh, by the way, I don't have that same job anymore.

And I had to pay for some medical bill, and now I can't take this.

Like, a vacation is a luxury in and of itself, but you're doing it for someone else to a specific spot like that.

Well, you don't know their wedding plans ahead of time.

So when someone asks you to be a bridesmaid, you usually don't know their plans.

Right.

Okay.

You're kind of like, oh, okay, great.

You usually think it's like maybe two days of a wedding or something like that.

But you don't know that it's going to be all of this.

Expectations on a look.

I get that for one day.

It's, it's really tough.

Sometimes you have to like be like, okay, I got to do my hair.

I got to do all this for one day.

But like three different dresses.

That's a lot.

A four-day trip.

I just, yeah, this is out of hand.

Like, to expect all your friends to spend two grand for the bachelorette.

So May in Chicago.

I don't know.

That weather's going to be weird.

So wait.

Was this one planned by the bride?

Because isn't it a lot of times the maid of honor who plans the...

Right.

But either way, it's like, it should be discussed of like, hey, we want to do this.

This is the cost.

Does this work for everyone?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Like, that's how.

Sounds like it was planned by the bride.

It sounds like, because she's talking about having to talk to the bride

about this.

It sounds like the bride probably had some pretty important stipulations of like, I want to do this and I want to do this.

All right, bridesmaid, make it happen.

Maybe her maid of, I feel like, maybe her maid of honor did it.

I don't really know.

Bachelorette parties are so.

They really, they can be anything that you want them to be.

But like, I just feel like you can't, everyone has to be all in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because we've all, I mean, I've been invited to bachelorette parties that are like four days, hour drive, super expensive.

And you're like, I just don't, I don't.

And then you do it because you do it.

And then you're there and you're like, what else are we getting?

What else are we adding to the tab?

Oh, we're going to this fancy dinner.

We're all going to split it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Don't people also often cover the bride because it's like their bachelorette parties?

Yeah.

So it's like the bride's like, yeah.

I'm not paying.

Another round of my attachment.

I'm very, I'm very conscientious of when I'm making other people spend money.

Yeah.

I can't imagine not considering it.

Yeah.

Like just being aware of like, oh, other people are spending money.

It's like birthday parties even.

Yeah.

If it's your birthday, some people go to the extreme and I'm just like.

The verdict was not the asshole.

Comments.

Not the asshole.

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it.

Tell her.

If she really is your friend, she'll understand.

Someone said, info.

Did you talk to her about it becoming a financial burden for you?

And if if so, did she try to accommodate some of the costs for you?

OP responded saying, I have talked to her about the change in my financial situation, mostly because of a job change and also unexpected health costs for a health condition.

Oh.

She did help with the dress alterations by sending me 50 bucks.

So that made my contribution $200.

Every help counts and I deeply appreciate it.

However, it still doesn't change that Chicago is a stretch for me.

Someone said, Girl, she gave you 50 bucks when you have spent $1,076 so far and are expected to spend another $425.

I bet she's expecting a nice wedding gift too.

She literally gave you back 3% of what you are spending.

This is insane.

Okay, math.

Yeah, wow.

Someone

calculator.

Update.

Oh, my God.

Yay.

Four months later.

Under a new post titled, Am I the Asshole for Taking My Friend to Court After She Kicked Me Out of the Bridal Party for Cutting My Hair?

Things are really spicy up now.

We're eating today.

Get your chocolate milk out.

Oh, God.

Get your chocolate milk out because this has gotten spicy.

Oh.

Okay.

See, see what I know.

Yeah, sweet milk is good for that.

Yeah.

For my friend's three-day wedding, I had to buy three different dresses, including alterations and specific shoes, which totaled over $700.

She also wanted specific hairstyles for each day.

Unfortunately, starting in March, my hair started to deteriorate.

Due to health reasons, my hair was falling out in chunks, and in May I made the difficult decision to cut my hair.

I told the bride about my decision two weeks before the wedding and she didn't say anything bad.

The following week she came over to my house and when she was about to leave she brought up that she was concerned about my haircut and I told her it would look good even though I wouldn't be uniform with the other bridesmaids.

The following day I received this message.

After our recent conversations, I'd like to remind you of my boundaries.

I've been very accommodating and graceful, but I can't allow you to disrespect me.

As you know, my wedding has been something I've dreamt of for many years.

Husband and I have invested a lot of money into the video and photos of this day, and as we reflect on this day in the future, we want to see our vision reflected in the memories.

Since I asked each of you to be a bridesmaid in 2019, I've been very clear and communicative in my request.

The timing of your decision to cut your hair and not income in advance is very upsetting to me.

I would have felt respected if you had communicated with me more than a week prior to the wedding, so we could have worked together to find a collaborative solution.

Your inconsistencies have concerned me, and while I sympathize with your health concerns, I'm not willing to compromise my vision to accommodate you or anyone else when you have informed me in advance and we could have found a better solution.

Since this is something you can no longer fully commit to, I need you to please step down from participating in my wedding.

This was three days before the wedding.

I immediately sent her and her husband an invoice asking them to reimburse for the dresses and shoes, keeping in mind that one of the dresses is still in her possession, even though I paid for it.

Neither of them replied and so I decided to take it to court.

I was told I was inconsistent and selfish after I spent the past two weeks helping her plan the wedding shower.

I worked with another bridesmaid to surprise her with a bridal shower after our bachelorette trip had to be canceled.

I spent hours helping her out with wedding details.

When she asked me to help her tone up before the wedding, I sent her a personalized workout program and even went with her to the gym to show her the ropes.

When I agreed to be her bridesmaid, I was more than willing to oblige with what she asked, even if at times it was a lot of time and money.

So am I the asshole for taking her to court because she kicked me out for cutting my hair?

Oh my gosh.

I'm speechless.

I'm speechless.

I mean, this honestly, this poor woman is going through so much right now.

She is like she was losing her hair.

Yeah, I don't know what health concern it could be, but I know that regardless, losing your hair is that's an extreme thing.

Also, you can cut your hair whenever the F you want.

I don't understand the stipulation.

The extensions already was weirding me out.

Because it's like, you want everyone to change their bodies for this.

That's a lot.

She wanted a uniformed, really controlling look.

Yeah.

I also want to point out she used the word boundaries, like you cross my boundaries.

And that's not what boundaries are.

Nope.

You don't get to control how someone else looks.

And that's a misuse of the word.

And this friend sounds like they belong in the Am I the Devil posts, not Am I the Lord?

Literally, though.

No,

the I'd Like to Remind You of My Boundaries was kind of all I needed.

I probably, it's like you can just stop reading there.

Like, you're off.

You can.

It's like, I'm gonna save everybody's time here.

You give them the money.

I love that.

Thank you.

I'd like to think of another world where I made it a young woman.

Thank you for that.

Nightmare human.

I mean, I can't, we can't really be too shocked.

Like, we saw all the signs were there for this woman to be off.

But this is, this is bad.

Now, now, okay, court is, is a law.

Here's the thing.

I think sending an invoice for what she paid for, hell yeah, fucking great.

Court?

But if they're not going to pay the invoice, like, is the invoice just like a so there or like, hey, I've lost my job and my hair is falling out.

I could really use that money back.

If she really needs the money, then yeah, you got to do whatever you can to get the money.

She doesn't even have one of the dresses in her possession.

This is three days before,

which is essentially like any place can charge if you cancel what?

72 hours, 48 hours, 24 hours.

And it's very clear, based on that response, it's like, you shouldn't talk to this person or be friends with them.

So there's nothing, there's no harm in going through court.

I mean, I don't know much.

All I know about court is just that it can be a lengthy, exhausting process, but it's like if it's worth it to you until it gets to the point where it's not worth it to you, like is is cutting these people out of your life going to be more important than getting that money back?

Already that's going to happen.

They're not going to be friends after this.

And, like, I want to say the court thing

technically is, but, like, really isn't this person's decision.

They sent the invoice saying, you need to reimburse me for this.

And the other people didn't even respond.

So it's like, okay, well, now we're going to court.

Like, yes, that is the next step, but you've kind of forced my hand here.

Yeah.

Right.

Court's just going to take like a long time.

It's going to, you know, make the wound fester, longer.

I just.

I wonder wonder how the other the other bridesmaids feel because like if I'm sitting there and I know that this person like is losing their hair and so they're like, yeah, I'm losing my hair in clumps.

I got to just shave it all off.

And then they get kicked out of it because of their health concerns.

I'd be like, damn, are we really going to this wedding?

Well, what kind of information are they getting fed?

That's also fair.

They were probably in Chicago.

Like, I can't believe Amy is not here.

That's so tough.

What a bitch.

We have one comment on this.

I'm very sorry about your health situation, OP.

Not the asshole.

This is not how a friend would treat another friend, and a supposedly valued one at that, since she asked you as a bridesmaid.

I'm also sorry you found out this way this woman is not your friend.

OP responded, that's honestly what sucks the most.

I thought our friendship was much deeper than that.

The fact that she was at the house the night before for three hours just hanging out, talking and helping her with the wedding stuff, just to receive this the next day, I know for sure I don't want her in my life, but that doesn't negate that she's someone I loved, cared for, and all the memories of our friendship.

Devastating,

breakups are really hard.

Yeah, but what is also really harsh is realizing that someone never respected you.

Yeah.

Like, that's brutal because it's that thing where you then, like, almost flash back and relive your life.

And you're like, whoa, wow, all these situations.

I thought we had mutual respect going and we didn't.

She's letting the whole vision of her wedding completely take over, which totally does happen, but this is to the extreme.

Yeah, but it makes me question how it's always been going.

Yeah, that's true.

Like, how has the friendship always been going?

Yeah.

Update.

Stop!

What the heck?

What?

An update from a year later.

Is it from

the lady?

The bride.

The lady.

That one lady?

You know her.

The bride.

Biffany.

Okay.

This has been a long time coming.

I've had a lot of people reach out to me asking what the results of the case have been.

Unfortunately, I could no longer post comments on my previous post as well.

I figured I would wait until everything was done to update everyone all at once.

In December 2021, I got the notification that a court date had been set for February 7th, 2022.

It would be virtual and since it's small claims, we would represent ourselves.

I began gathering my evidence and created a virtual file which I shared with the court and her seven days before the hearing.

On the day, she did show up.

We were given the chance to settle, but that was unsuccessful.

When we returned to the hearing, I found out she also had made a virtual file with her evidence, but never shared it with me.

The court then made her share it and what a surprise I had.

She had copied my entire format for presenting evidence.

Keep in mind that this is a format I created.

She didn't even have the decency or brain cells to make something up herself.

The hearing proceeded and we were both given a chance to share our side.

I won't go into the details of it but it took probably 10 to 15 minutes.

In my state they do not give you the verdict right away and it can take up to 90 days.

And so I waited and waited and waited.

Then yesterday, May 5th, almost 90 days after, I got a verdict.

I won.

She has been ordered to pay me the total of $808.94 for the dresses and shoes.

I have to return two dresses and shoes I have to her.

The verdict goes into effect May 30th.

I don't see her appealing it, or fingers crossed, she doesn't.

All in all, I am very happy with the outcome and so ready to close this chapter.

Thank you to everyone who has been so invested in this with me.

I hope this was the season finale you were looking forward to.

P.S.

My hair and health are doing much better.

My three bald spots are growing again and I couldn't be happier.

Hell yeah.

Oh, this is

awesome.

That's really like end of the movie vibes, like roll credits.

Like, yeah.

This is a season finale.

Also, like

this bride, $808.

You really made this woman who's going through health issues and everything wait to get that money.

Yeah.

Like, I'm just like.

And you know, with a three-day wedding, like, the amount that they're spending already is absurd.

It's absurd.

Especially with like the tastes that they've talked about, like everything must be perfect.

It's not just going to be the hair and the dresses, it's everything.

So 808 bucks for someone you supposedly cared about?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just truly threw away a friend, but she clearly has no respect for anyone.

Oh, my God.

I'm very proud of OP.

I love that.

Yeah, badass.

Also, what a dumbass move to be like, oh, yeah, I didn't share evidence with the other side.

Like, you have to do that.

Isn't that called like discovery?

Like, you're in that phase of like sharing evidence.

Like, you have to do it.

Like, in my mind, that would have been a nail in the coffin right away of like, oh, you're the type that shared it with us and intentionally didn't share it with your friend.

Got it.

Also, what was her evidence?

It might have played a part.

Amy sucks.

It might have played a part in why she won.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah.

And she just copied her homework.

Yeah.

Okay.

Ditto what Amy said, but actually for me now.

Yeah, like

she kind of sucks.

And that's what it is.

I'm the bride.

Anyways.

Actually, my boundaries are that I cannot be guilty.

That actually, oh, that would suck.

Use a lot of therapy therapy terms, I guarantee it.

Yeah.

You could do that.

You can do that.

Your honor, you're gaslighting me.

Yeah, judges love when you do that.

Yeah.

Well, glad that had a happy ending.

WTF.

Update.

I now have a flowing mane of locks, the likes of which the world has never seen.

Wow, vanilla milk.

And a pasture of brown cows.

Chocolate milk.

I found a highland cow and shaved them to make a little, cool little wig.

Because those are the fluffy little cows.

Yeah, yeah, no.

There you go.

Yeah, good for you hey hey hey hey vanilla milk vanilla milk vanilla milk

um thank you both for

uh hanging out with me thank you for having me yeah i appreciate it man thank you

yeah of course that this is great um thank you for watching let us know what other themes and subreddits you'd like to see on this show we'll see you next saturday what thee

bye

what what the frick what the freaking he-e-double

hey hey

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You're auditioning for AMDA College of the Performing Arts?

Yeah, and it's not just an audition.

I'm entering the ultimate talent competition.

What happens if you win?

A full scholarship, the chance to perform in NYC in front of thousands of people, and a life-changing college experience.

High schoolers, auditions are happening right now in your city, but spots are filling up fast.

Don't miss your shot.

Go to AMDA.edu to schedule your audition today.

That's amda.edu.