Get PRANKED | Reading Reddit Stories

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Join us as we work to cross the finish line at unecisive.com.

Hello, and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane, and today the theme is pranks.

And I'm joined by two pranksters, Angela and Courtney.

Courtney, you just pranked Angela a second ago by screaming at her unprompted.

What is a prank?

Is that a prank?

Is it a prank?

Damien posed the question a long time ago, and I've been thinking about it ever since of like, what is a prank?

And at this stage, I'm like, does it even exist?

Like, what's the definition of a prank?

Is it just like a joke?

Because, like, for me, it's like a prank is leading someone to believe that one thing is happening but it's actually another thing yeah but i have my own personal beliefs on like the what is the goal of a prank yeah you know i think what the original intention for i believe

that like pranks were like to just to minorly inconvenience you in a funny way right and then it went out of control.

I guess, okay, I see what you're both saying.

Like a prank is to almost make you feel one emotion, realize, oh, that's silly that you made me feel that.

That other emotion

it's not the situation.

And okay.

Yeah.

But I think for me, the takeaway of a prank is if the person you're pranking isn't laughing, then the prank failed.

Right.

That's my takeaway.

A lot of people do pranks where the person that you're pranking, you're just kind of fucking them up.

I don't know.

Me and my brother have pranked my mom a couple times.

She didn't laugh, but boy, was it fun.

So you're just doing it for each other.

You're not doing it for her at all.

Yeah.

I like that.

Yeah, we're not doing it to put a smile on her face and more of each other's faces.

And you guys weren't even filming.

No, could you imagine?

Oh my God.

Now I can't do a prank unless we're rolling.

Truly.

So I'm like, this is a waste.

Does your prank have a big reveal for your mom?

Of like, okay.

I'll prank you if we have time.

It's kind of crazy.

I'll blow through it.

Okay.

We took...

I might have said it on something else in content before.

It was right when the autocorrect feature was customizable on the iPhone.

And I was like, okay, make it every time she says the, change it to dick.

And my brother was like, no,

that's the quick game let's play the long game and I was like you're a genius and every time she wrote the word okay

we made it add okay can you bring me a bottle of water

when I tell you it started and we were both in college and so you're bringing her bottles

we weren't home and we were getting group texts about like Easter service and it was like okay can you give me a bottle of water damn it whoops ignore me my phone's broken and then we saw that like weeks later.

And we were like, wow.

And then we come home from college and we both tell my dad and he's like, what?

Oh, no.

He goes, you have no.

He goes every time.

Because my mom's office is downstairs.

She goes, damn it.

Damn it, I did it again, Ray.

And she's screaming to him.

And I guess to her boss, she was like, yes, okay, okay, can you bring me a bottle of water?

I'm so sorry.

Ignore that.

And it was like over and over and over again.

Wow, it was so funny.

That's extremely funny.

That's really good.

All right, well, let's see if these pranks live up to those that you just talked about.

All right.

This first story comes from, Am I Overreacting?

Am I overreacting?

Fiancé told me he had a surprise for me and drove me to a house and said it was ours.

Let me believe it, and then said it was a prank.

Okay.

We were out looking at Christmas lights tonight when my fiancé said he had a surprise for me.

He usually isn't great with surprises, so I was intrigued.

We drove a few miles and pulled up to this house.

Mind you, it's nighttime.

It's a gorgeous house with a sign in the yard.

He asked, what do you think of this house?

I've been dying to move out of my cramped one-bedroom apartment, so I'd literally move into a medium-sized shack if I had the chance.

I told him it was very pretty.

He said, what do you see in the yard?

And I told him I saw a for-sale sign.

He told me to look again and pulled back.

The sign said under contract.

It started to click in my head and I had started to get really excited.

He let me sit in my excitement for a while before I asked, is this our house?

And he started laughing and said, nope, and drove away.

Am I overreacting?

I haven't stopped crying.

That was one of the cruelest things I think I've ever had done to me by someone I love and trust.

Seems like he hit a sensitive subject.

I don't understand

it.

I feel like anyone would feel a sensitive subject for most people.

For lies.

Oh, yeah.

The verdict was not overreacting because what kind of prank is that?

What's the purpose?

Yeah, I don't understand what the goal.

I think that's my issue with a lot of pranks is like pranks where it's like, hey, this really cool thing's happening.

Actually, it's not happening.

Yeah, because I've seen really awesome TikToks where like this girl's like, hey, let's go.

We're going to go to my friend's party that's near you guys.

And then like they show up and he's like, surprise, it's my house.

Or like this one girl, she has her whole family show up.

She's like, we're going to go check this thing out.

And then it's like, surprise, I bought this house for all of us.

Yeah.

Like, where it's like, ha ha, it wasn't this other thing you thought.

It's actually this amazing thing.

Yeah, a joyful prank.

I understand a joyful prank where it's like you're tricking someone into thinking like, uh-oh, something's gone wrong.

It's like, psych, actually, things are better than we all thought it was.

That's cool.

So you could do a thing where it's like, I don't know how you do it, where it's like, oh, no, something's gone wrong.

Oh, psych, we got a house.

Even though, would you be pissed if your, if your partner bought a house and didn't talk to you at all about it yeah

that pissed me off even more like it's almost like pranking it's like an art of like writing yeah no for sure you have to like get the bank out of your buck because like you're lying to someone for fun and for sport so it better be funny right this this prank is just weird because he drove several miles to a specific house which makes me think he knew about this specific house it had like the right signage in the front yard it was nighttime and he did all of this just to tell her, no, we're not buying.

I'm not.

Yeah.

I didn't buy a house.

I said that thing about being a sensitive subject because if this was just like, it sounds like she's in a really like drastic place where she like doesn't like where she lives.

So joking about that specifically when you're in the like heat of like not being happy with your living situation, that's where I'm like, it's really touchy to do a prank about that.

Yeah, it's also like sad.

It's kind of, it's weird when you're like, it's almost like luring

an animal into a trap where he's like, What is what do you think of this house?

What's that in front of the house?

No, no, look closer.

Like, and it's like, psych, ha ha.

Like, part of me almost wished that he, like, did buy the house.

And when he's leading her through it, he's like, actually, wouldn't it be funny if I said no, but I actually did.

And so, like, what if there's an update?

And he did.

Maybe.

Maybe.

I mean, because, because

the thing right now is, yeah, it's like, what did you want out of this?

Yeah.

Like, what was the goal here?

Just to make her sad?

That seems like that's all you wanted to see.

Yeah, like, jokes on you.

I'm actually incapable of purchasing a home.

Ha ha.

Jokes on us.

This would be so hard because you're stuck in your apartment that you hate.

Like it just sucks.

It just sucks.

Comments.

We do not marry people who are mean to us.

Please tell this person you were only kidding when you said yes to the proposal.

Someone said that's cruel behavior.

I wouldn't have been able to cope.

In this economy, you might want to rethink that engagement.

Tell him you were joking when you said yes.

Bad people are using the prank craze to indulge their previously banned cruelty.

It was fun for him to upset you.

That legitimately gave him joy.

Let that sink in.

The person that you're tying yourself to for the rest of your life got joy from seeing you hurt.

You are underreacting.

The trust it takes to make a marriage succeed is immense, and your fiancé is not trustworthy at all.

Lastly, someone said, Not overreacting.

If this was a one-off and it just really fell flat, then I think I could let it go.

But if this is a pattern where he often pulls pranks that are cruel, not funny, then I couldn't be with someone like that.

Opi responded saying, First cruel prank other than an occasional jump scare here and there and we both try to spook each other.

I can't even fathom how incredibly unkind it was.

I feel like because with the last prank episode we did of this show, it was a lot of really cruel pranks.

Cruel?

And it was like, it's like, what is your goal here?

Like what do you want to see out of this person?

And pranks almost seem to be like a weird

litmus test for like people where it's like, oh, you do you find joy out of people being sad or upset?

Like, is that what you enjoy out of the prank?

Because pranks have a lot of elements to it, but I feel like the ultimate joy is what you're seeking is for everyone to be laughing at the end.

Yeah, but some people it doesn't seem like that's the case.

I don't know, yeah, because he just didn't, he didn't think it through.

Like, he said, nope, and then they kept driving.

They had a whole car ride after that.

Like, did you think she's going to go, oh,

you fucked me over.

You did.

That was so funny.

Oh, my God.

God, you totally got

my god.

Oh, that's right.

Everything sucks.

I thought things were going to suck for a second.

That's right.

Everything is just fucking hard.

If I was in her position, I'd be like, oh, yeah, that's right.

Because you can't buy a home because your crew is bad, Steven.

Steven!

Think it through, Steven.

Tits.

That stands for think it through, Steven.

Steven tits.

Mini update.

I posted this back around Christmas time and you guys had a lot to say.

I just wanted to come back and say that as of yesterday, the wedding is off.

He started to show some very negative tendencies that lean towards abuse.

Thank you guys for your support.

This is not easy.

Whoa!

What happened?

I think this is similar when some people, you notice a pattern that they find it funny when someone falls or like, and sometimes it's really funny, but right?

But then like, but if you notice that happening over and over again, where it's like, oh, it's fun, humor to you lies in someone else being less than or getting hurt or getting fucked over.

That's just a red flag for other shit.

So I'm not surprised.

Yeah, like let alone the love of your life.

You want to see them in pain.

Like, sounds like she dodged a bullet.

Yeah, totally.

Imagine having to sign a deed with that fucko.

Fucko.

Sorry, I've been saying fucko lately.

I love it.

I didn't even notice that.

Fucko pop.

The editor is just like,

the editor's like, I love that word too.

That's a great word, guys.

Sorry.

Okay, our next story.

So, first off, off, that first one was not really a prank.

No, and it kind of.

That didn't classify.

It's because I because we've experienced, we've had all kinds of pranks at Smosh, where it's like

where you literally have like a fear.

And it's like, we're just going to actually put you through your fear as a prank.

And it's like, okay, so like, what was the, is this because it's funny to who?

And like,

yeah, we've had all kinds of ones.

And I think those are my less not so much favorites, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah, YouTube has had a lot of like prank phases and there was the really famous one this was like 10 years ago where like it culminated in one of the prank youtubers just like staging like that he was about to murder someone and his friend was like oh my god you're about to murder me and it was like ha ha prank it was the sam pepper it was just

it's like oh okay like cool prank man you just thought you made someone convinced they were about to die this was sam pepper pranks these two youtubers What is their name?

Or like Sam and Colby?

I don't know.

Think of Sam and Colby.

And like they got kidnapped, put in a car.

What?

They were, then they had the pillowcase takedop taken off.

One of the guys, Sam or Colby, is like, what's going on?

And they pretend to kill with a gun, Colby, or one of them.

in front of him.

Yeah.

And it was hysterical.

Okay.

Like crying hysterical, not funny hysterical.

Because that's like bad.

That's like, that's why I'm like weirdly defending pranks because I'm like, good pranks are funny and not mean right a good prank is also done with like understanding the person you're pranking and understanding the boundaries beforehand right what we're seeing a lot on tick tock and what we've seen on YouTube too is pranks where it's like oh you're pranking the stranger by doing this insane thing to them in public and oftentimes when things

crash back on the prankster, they're like, it's just a prank, bro.

But here's the thing.

Whatever you're doing to them, you can't like call it a prank in court.

So if you, if you tackle someone as a prank or if you, you know, touch someone as a prank, that you're doing it for real, right?

Like there's no prank element to that.

But I think people seem to think like just because there's a prank at the end of this means I can do whatever I want.

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Oh, which brings us to our next story.

This comes from Am I the Asshole.

Am I the asshole for taking my brother-in-law to small claims court for a prank?

Hell yeah, dude.

This is awesome.

Get Judge Judy on this.

Yeah.

I recently took my brother-in-law to small claims court over a prank he pulled on me, and now my wife and her family are furious.

I need to know if I'm in the wrong here.

A few months ago, we were at a family barbecue.

I had a few too many beers and fell asleep in a hammock with my shirt off.

My brother-in-law, who was completely sober, thought it would be hilarious to fill my belly button with super glue.

What?

Oh my god, my literal What?

At some point, I must have touched it because when I woke up, I had glue partially dried in my belly button and on my finger.

We tried to remove it, but it was stuck.

The glue adhered to my skin, and when we attempted to peel it it off, it caused some tearing around the edges.

Unfortunately, my jobs insurance has a $1,000 ER copay, but I had no choice.

I had to go to the ER.

They used a solvent and an ointment to remove the glue, and after everything, I was left with a medical bill of $2,253.

I asked my brother-in-law to cover the costs since he caused the situation.

He refused.

After trying to resolve it privately, I took him to small claims.

court and I won.

However, he still hasn't paid.

This has caused a major rift in my family.

My wife is upset, and her family thinks I overreacted.

So am I the asshole for taking him to court over this?

Bro.

Once again, so the prank is that you just tortured someone.

Oh, that's like literally.

Like, what's the result?

Like, you gotta, like, if you're gonna do a prank, you have to think forward on what the end result of the prank is.

Like, that's kind of like the whole thing with a prank, right?

Is it's a plan.

But these people don't seem to have any sort of plan.

They're just doing things in the moment.

Who has super glue lying around like that?

That's not easy.

That's not easy to do, right?

It's like Cloudy with a chance of meatballs his butt, but like, you know how he has those shoes that never come off?

Like, what was, what was

that's really harmful to your body and your skin and your stomach.

Oof.

That's, yeah, it's not even fun to think about.

And this guy, you know, hey, sleep.

I'm picturing a guy asleep on a hammock with no shirt on.

It's got to be some hair involved there, too.

Some not fun.

Important point.

An added aspect to this.

God, this is, it's so fucked up to like affect your body physically.

Also, like, super glue is that's not like some chill little thing you just get out.

Like, whenever I've had situations where it's like, oh, this thing broke, it's like, oh, super glue it.

I'm like, oh, that's so much work, though.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Like, to just do it for fun?

Okay, there's a couple things that are just like such red flags to me.

It's like when you see someone like sleeping and vulnerable and you see it as an opportunity, you're a weird person.

You're a little bit of

a not good person.

Not a good person.

And like,

I just, I feel like maybe it was just the high school I went to where like there was so much education around like drinking and party culture that like never do something to somebody when they're passed out drunk, especially when it's like, you know, you never know what could happen.

And like imagine if their family like, you know, you don't want so, you just don't want to mess with somebody and and like turns out they died and now they have a glue belly button sorry that's probably a little bit triggering no but i just think just don't touch someone's body yeah just don't touch someone's body unless you're invited to my god it's really not that hard but it's also like sadistic that he went straight to super this also has me questioning like i don't it's very clear to me i mean maybe it's not clear i this is a brother-in-law right so it's just like i'm like what is the relationship here like what how actually close are you guys and trust?

Probably not that much.

Like, he was willing to take them to small claims court.

So I don't know if they're necessarily super tight even before this.

I think OP bringing this to small claims court was

a bold way to try to wake up this person and be like, look how, I'm not joking.

This hurt me.

I'm taking action into doing it.

It hurt, but it's also $2,000, right?

Like, if someone, like,

someone takes $2,000 from me, or they break a laptop, laptop or they, they, like, what if, what happens if, like, your brother-in-law hits your car with their car, right?

It's like, okay.

Oh, sorry.

I would rather them hit my car.

Literally,

this is willful.

This is willful, but it's just like, hey, man, like, you cost me $2,000.

Next time I have a fender bender, I'm going to be like, it was a prank.

It was just a prank, dude.

You and I.

We've been friends since we got off the exit at the 405.

We're joking.

That is some people's logic with the shit they pull.

That's just stupid.

The verdict was not the asshole.

Comments, not the asshole.

I can't believe your wife isn't with you on this.

Pranks shouldn't involve the ER.

Someone else said, the easiest way to phrase it to your wife and her family is this.

He acted like an asshole and got taxed for it.

Maybe he will think twice about acting this way again.

Also, for the record, any grown adult who does these kinds of pranks is too immature to be around adults.

Put his ass at the kids' table from now on.

Someone else said, not the asshole.

I would definitely follow up with the court on non-payment of a judgment.

I don't know what they might do, but it's worth a try.

What's What's troublesome is that your wife doesn't have your back on this.

While the injury was minor, it doesn't make it okay.

Someone else said, not the asshole.

As a former dumbass with dumbass friends, we've done dumb and mean and not actually funny things to each other countless times.

But even then, you ever actually fucked something up or hit someone's pockets, you knew it was your ass to pay up whatever was fair.

I'd call you an ass if you just ran to a lawyer and didn't try to work it out, but you did.

He refused.

So he's either a piece of shit or flat broke or both.

Now really, you have only one legal option left to get paid, and you took it.

Tell the family they can pay if they care about each other's financial well-being so much.

They should care about yours too.

Lastly, someone said, Not the asshole.

Drizzling sunscreen in the shape of a dick is a prank.

Super gluing your belly button is assault.

Yep.

Yeah, I mean, that's, yeah, being taken to small claims court for the ER bill is one thing.

This brother-in-law is lucky they weren't charged with something.

Like, you know, pranks that hurt definitely don't make sense to me.

Like, causing physical pain to someone is just not funny.

Like, oh, I slapped you, Prank.

Yeah.

Yeah, truly.

Like, oh.

Um, update.

Whoa, let's go.

He paid.

The reason my wife was upset is because her brother was going through a divorce and between jobs.

Everyone knew he did it.

He even admitted it.

He blames his ADHD.

I don't want to garnish his pay.

The reason I didn't try more to clean the glue off of me was because I have scars in my navel from gallbladder surgery about three years ago.

My mother-in-law has offered to pay the bill, but she is on a fixed income and I would feel like an ass for taking her money.

Of course, I'm the villain and only my sister-in-law is on speaking terms with me.

My wife is only barely on my side.

It was her that took me to the ER, not thinking it would cost that much.

I figure blood is thicker than water.

I didn't expect this thread to blow up.

Oof.

See, it's so wild, like,

him blaming his ADHD

on not being able to pay when, like...

I think he's blaming his ADHD on why he

put glue in it.

Right, exactly.

It's like,

that doesn't make sense to me at all.

Also, yeah.

There's so many people with ADHD.

They're not going around doing this.

Yeah, you're right.

You don't have to have

like a scar in order for that area to be off limits to someone else's ability to destroy it.

It's your body.

Let's hope that nobody does that to you.

Yeah.

There is an unfortunate like, I don't know how old this brother-in-law is, but like...

People like dudes in my generation, we grew up with jackass and like,

but it's like, hey man, those jackass guys are getting paid millions of dollars to do this to each other.

They're on a full understanding with each other.

There is like a lot going on.

There's a lot going on.

That's a show that they're doing.

This is real life.

These are people you don't know that well.

Even your brother-in-law, you clearly don't know him that well.

Don't do that to people.

Don't mess with people's bodies.

Yeah, like Ashton Kutcher didn't do that.

Yeah, and even still, I would rather have a scorpion pinch my little booty than have super glue in my belly button.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Jackass reference.

So we have two not pranks so far.

Yeah.

No, no.

I think zero pranks have happened.

One not prank and one crime.

Yes.

Okay, our next story.

Let's see if a prank happens here.

This comes from Am I the Asshole?

Am I the asshole for calling the police on my coworker over a prank?

I, a 25-year-old woman, just started this new job as a front desk clerk at a hotel.

I work the overnight shift.

I usually have a coworker, a 30-year-old man, with me, but he never really talks to me.

A few nights ago was my first night alone.

At around 2 a.m., I I noticed a person in the parking lot.

You can see the parking lot from the front desk.

The lighting in the lot is terrible, so you don't really see faces until they get close to the lobby door.

The person was just standing there, not moving for about five to ten minutes.

I thought this was strange, and of course it creeped me out.

After about 10 minutes of them standing there, they moved.

I guessed to call the front desk because he moved his hand to his ear and the phone rang.

I picked up and on the other end I just heard, five buried, none found.

In a low voice, and then they hung up.

At this point, I was terrified, so I ran ran to the back room and called 911.

Oh my god.

I explained to the operator about what had been going on and they sent a couple cops to the hotel.

When they arrived one cop was talking to the person outside and the other one was at the front desk talking to me telling me that the person outside was claiming that he also worked here.

I was confused but I also admitted I hadn't seen the person's face just the silhouette.

At this point the other officer and the person from the lot come in and it turns out to be my co-worker and he was upset saying he would have never pranked me if he knew I was going to call the police and try to get him arrested.

I didn't go through with pressing charges, but I did tell my manager what happened the next morning.

It's been a few days now, and I guess he had told other coworkers what happened, and now no one is really speaking to me and giving me a bit of an attitude.

I feel like I took it a bit too far with calling the police.

Am I the asshole?

Whoa.

What?

That's insane.

This person who you've not talked to, you're gonna call them and say some weird, cryptid, freaky ass shit.

While they're on the job doing what they should do.

Does that make sense?

Like, it's actually wild to make this person feel like they did the wrong thing by calling the cops.

I think if you're doing overnights at a hotel, you should report sketchy behavior.

Yes, yes, because it's an entire premises of innocent people and a phone call just came in alluding to serial murder.

Like, it would be bad if you didn't make that call.

And now you're like, I shouldn't have made that call because it was a joke?

What did he think would happen?

She'd go like this.

Yeah.

And just like run around.

And like her shirt falls off and it's a fun movie.

That's also her shirt falls off.

Five buried none found is like an extremely weird thing to say.

Like that's that goes beyond.

That's, I'm kind of shocked that once the coworker came in, she's like, oh, it's just my coworker.

Once he came in, I'd be like, yeah, he's the killer.

Like, oh my God,

I wouldn't be chill yet.

Yeah.

It's giving like

another non-prank.

it's like I think pranks are similar to what you said about jokes where like

it's like non-funny people say mean things when they're trying to be funny because it's easier to be mean than to be funny right true and this is it's showing this where it's like with roasts you could tell when someone's like really good at them because it's like a well-written joke versus just a roast that's mean yeah and like this prank is not well thought out because it's just mean like what what you're creating to happen is just panic and fear and that none of those are funny

Verdict not the asshole

comments, not the asshole, your coworker was trying to scare you on purpose and now he's angry that you did what any reasonable person would have done under the circumstances.

OP responded saying, yeah, my boyfriend thinks that my coworker was trying to scare me so I would quit my job and because it backfired, everyone is annoyed with me.

Haha.

What?

Someone else said, not the asshole.

If I were you, I'd follow up with HR and make a formal complaint.

It's hardly appropriate for a grown man to harass a younger woman who is alone at night, no less, and terrify her for his own enjoyment.

Pranks are supposed to be funny, yeah?

Yeah, I was gonna say, additionally, to then go tell the rest of the staff that she was the asshole in the situation and now it has impacted her work relationships with everyone there.

Like, that's, I think that's also, it's like retaliatory.

So, I think she absolutely should go to HR.

I wonder what story he spun because if someone was like, Yeah, so I went out to the parking lot so that I looked really creepy and then I called her and I said, five buried, none found.

And I'd be like, I'd be be like, hey, man, I got to be honest with you.

I don't know if I'm with you on this one.

I'm so sad.

I'm like, how does no one know

us at the bar just being like, oh, dude, and she didn't think that was hilarious?

Women.

I don't understand them.

So, yeah, I took a couple laughs

around the parking lot and made her look super scared.

Yeah, I stood out there under the lamplight so that she could only see my silhouette.

Oh, my God.

I was laughing so hard.

She would have been a little bit more.

It was really great.

I was like farting like a loser.

And I'm walking around on the.

Farting like a loser

okay so hold on hold on she says a few nights ago it was my first night alone at around 2 a.m i noticed a person in the parking lot that means he was off work he called off work did he call he went to work when he was off work just to scare her can you imagine in the morning could you imagine like there's no prank in the world where i would show up to work on my day off and scare a woman in the middle of the night

oh a woman in a vulnerable position trying to guard the whole hotel of sleeping people yeah Yeah.

For real.

So funny.

That dude needs a fucking personality.

He was like, dude, it was Pete comedy what I did.

Dude, I really hope she understands the fact that I have a crush on her.

No.

It's giving that.

I'm like, enjoy your night off.

Go play video games.

Last comment.

Agree with everyone here so far, not the asshole.

First of all, it's his night off and this is his activity of choice.

Yes.

Take up knitting or something, bro.

Not menacing women in the middle of the night than being pissed about the consequences.

What if a guest at the hotel had seen this?

It doesn't matter if you did or didn't see his face.

You did what you should have done in this situation, especially with the phone call.

That's menacing, mean, and messed up.

I've stayed at many hotels alone on work travels, and one time, late at night, I was on my balcony, which faced a parking garage, and I noticed these two guys taking photos of me.

I asked them to stop.

They didn't.

So I called the front desk, and the gentleman working that night took care of it by calling the cops and also standing outside facing the garage in the meantime.

I was so appreciative, even though I felt bad about the cops coming, which I shouldn't have, and neither should you.

My point is: as the front desk clerk, you're responsible for guest safety, but you can't take care of your guests if your own safety is in jeopardy.

And regardless of whether or not you have in-house security, you did the right thing.

He's an idiot and an asshole, and so is anyone you work with who thinks you were in the wrong.

Again, as a guest, I'd hope that the people I call for help would do exactly what you did.

If there's no harm, then there's no foul, but better to be safe than sorry.

I fear what your coworkers would have done in the situation I was in.

Yeah, yeah, that's true.

You were saying, like, when people don't know how to be funny, they just go for mean.

It's also like she said, like, he never really talks to me.

This is a guy who clearly does not know how to interact with women.

So, this is his only instinct.

He's like, he's like, I don't know how to, how to say hi to her.

So, I'm just going to freak her the fuck out of here.

I actually figure he's into her.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, you're in elementary school, and all you know is how to scare someone.

Like, whoa, bud, wrong door to enter in.

I don't know what you think you're doing.

Especially what really irgs me now, ever since we went back to it being her first night alone, really makes me mad.

Because, like, that's so scary.

Yeah, it's like real.

I've seen stories of women who are like, I have to work the middle of the night shift at the gas station I'm at.

My boyfriend is literally so nice to like hang out in the parking lot while I cover up, do my shift.

Because you got to just be aware of the world right now.

And like, that's

a situation that he should be more aware of.

Right.

Ugh.

All right.

Another not prank.

Yeah.

Crime?

Yeah.

Another prank,

another someone's rights being violated, but with a silly prank hat on.

Yeah, I actually think I'm glad she called the cops because

I'm nervous about this guy.

Yeah.

I'm like, no, who knows what he was.

Right.

doing.

He did show up to work on your night alone when he wasn't supposed to be at work.

Yeah.

That is odd behavior.

I'm scared of this guy.

I'd be, if I were her friend, I'd be like, you should quit that job because I don't trust this guy.

I don't trust him.

It's like how going to small claims court felt dramatic to the person, but it isn't.

No.

It's just using that person's actions and being, and like holding them accountable to their actions where it's like, oh, you like messed up with, you hurt me.

I'm going to do this about it.

Oh, you scared me.

I'm going to call the cops.

Yeah.

No, it goes back to what we were saying of like

he did technically harass her.

It's it's not a prank.

You can't just say it's a prank and oh, and that didn't happen.

It's like, no, you were in the parking lot being creepy, calling her, saying some weird shit about bodies.

That is all just factual.

You were doing that.

Yeah.

It doesn't really matter what the intent was.

You said it was because you did it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And my, I, like, my paranoid ass can't go, like, I can't help but think, if he's willing to say some weird shit like that, who knows what he said to the rest of the staff?

Yeah.

He actually was trying to like begin his serial killer era and then she just like ruined it.

What do you mean, five buried, none found bodies?

I know, no, I get it, but like, it's just weird.

Like, the bodies disappeared?

He's saying no, like, I buried five and none of them were found

and none were found.

I don't know.

I'm not going to try to figure this guy out.

Yeah, honestly, we could do some punch-ups.

Yeah.

Okay.

Our next story:

Am I the asshole for being furious with my pregnant wife over a prank?

Oh,

it was a balloon.

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Just kidding.

Psych prank, guys.

Okay, I'm a 31-year-old man.

I've been with my wife, Lisa, since college, and she's currently seven months pregnant with our first baby.

My wife Lisa is witty and likes to play jokes on me.

For example, she likes to pass off fake facts and stories as real and see if I'll believe them.

Lisa was a theater kid and so she's great at acting and selling these stories.

I used to fall for her pranks all the time since I'm gullible and she's so convincing.

However, now that I've been with her for so many years, I can typically tell when she's messing with me.

She's upped the antics over the years so she can occasionally get me to believe one of her jokes.

Today, when I got home from work, Lisa had tears in her eyes and told me she needed to talk to me about something.

I was seriously worried and sat down with her immediately.

I asked what was wrong several times and she kept saying it was hard to talk about and she was terrified I'd leave her.

I kept pressing and she told me she had an affair with her boss several months ago and wasn't sure if the baby was mine.

Oh no.

I asked if she was serious and she said she was 100% serious and started crying even harder.

What?

I got up, started pacing, and tried to gather my thoughts.

After a few minutes, Lisa bursted into laughter and said she was just joking.

I was furious.

I said it wasn't funny in the slightest to make jokes about cheating and the child not being mine.

Lisa then said she was a bit offended that I believed that specific prank and not several others.

She said she couldn't believe I actually thought she'd cheat on me.

She then got teary and asked why I didn't trust her.

Okay, so the tears are real now.

I asked why I would trust her after she pulled that prank on me, managed to cry telling me about it, and continued with the prank even though I was visibly upset.

Lisa said it was harmless and I was blowing things way out of proportion.

She continued to ask why I didn't trust her and I told her I needed some space.

I ended up going to a speakeasy,

a bar.

Let's go.

I ended up going to a speakeasy and have been away from the house ever since, even though Lisa has called several times.

I know it was a prank, but I think this joke went way too far, especially with the tears.

I also was clearly upset, as anyone would be, and she should have stopped it as soon as she realized I was actually falling for it.

Usually, Lisa's jokes are funny, but this one really got to me for some reason.

Am I the asshole, and am I overreacting?

I feel bad because she's very pregnant with my child, and I don't want to stress her out, but I need space right now.

Oh,

poor guy, dude.

What?

I can't believe, I cannot believe she called it harmless when she literally watched the harm happen

in front of herself.

You can't twist it around and be like, I'm so mad you believe me.

Right.

And

he knows she's a prankster.

He says, are you serious?

And she says, with tears in her eyes, I'm 100% serious.

What isn't too far?

Okay, I have a crazy idea.

What if she's not lying?

I thought that's it.

I know.

I'd kind of be in that.

Because this to me is insane.

This is to me like, I'm like, how unfunny can people think they are?

Like, that's no, no part of that is funny.

That's why I'm like, there must be a reason why she did this.

That's so intense.

It would make more sense to me if she fucked her boss.

If she actually cheated.

Than if she thought this would make him lol.

Like, she did it, saw the response, like, and then kind of got cold, like, was like, oh, I can fix this immediately.

And she had an out-of-body, like, fear tactic and just pivoted.

Yeah, and I know hormones can be like all over the place when you're pregnant and stuff, but this felt like such a like a

premeditated situation.

And the fact that she was crying even harder during the prank and then when he's clearly upset, then she switches it up.

And then when he's upset, she's now crying in real life.

Like, how can you trust anybody?

I don't love, I don't love the setup of a prank of just like, I told you a lie.

Right.

Well, here's the thing.

I'm like, here's the thing.

thing what the hell is that here comes mrs prank defending the pranks not this prank i'm not defending okay what i'm gonna say is um

in defense of good pranksters sometimes it can be really funny i thought when you and spencer made amanda believe fred you know what i mean like like when you sometimes make a like a

i don't want to do a lie and make all lies okay but like when this story started i thought it was similar to what me and my brother did my mom was every time we used to travel as kids, we would like, my brother would be like, oh yeah, that's Constantinople.

And it's like some other statue.

But what it turned into is my mom looking at us and us trying to do it without laughing.

And it'd be in like a moment, right?

But it's like what the context of the lie is about, if it's about your partner, if it's about...

anything serious.

Right.

Like me and my brother made my mom believe that like all the Fanta girls actually represented the flavors in like they were like like you know just like funny stuff like making Amanda believe that Five Nights at Freddy's is based off of something real was funny yeah I guess once again it's once again it's thinking about the long term of it yeah and talk about harmless like okay we can I we knew that Amanda didn't know what Five Nights at Freddy's was which is such a gift and so it's like if we can convince her this is a true crime like real story that'll be fun it's also on camera like this is us doing it and you're entertaining

and it's low stakes it's low stakes, but I'm also like this is our job.

We're technically at work where our job is to be silly.

No, for sure.

So I'm like, when it's real life.

So it's.

And you guys don't, you know, it's not like you guys have had this long history of like you lying to Amanda.

Like it began there.

Well, the stakes are so trust.

That's what I'm saying.

What we're saying on a podcast, the stakes are so low.

Yeah.

Because it's just like, oh, yeah, well, this is, none of this really matters.

Whereas in real life,

it's relationship.

That's why

it's just not that black and white being like,

there are ways that you could do this with like care and humor and just rooted in friendship.

Yeah, like

for a second, I was like, oh, is she going to like say their baby has an extra ear?

Me too.

But she's going to be like, this whole time he was gas.

Yeah, like, oh, yeah.

Like, something like that, I thought, because I don't know.

Also, it's just like with this prank, and she was so desperate to make him feel this, it's like, hey, I want you to experience trauma.

Really?

Like, hey, that's what I want.

Like, it's funny.

I, because I see what you're saying, and I agree.

It's funny if it's just like, I'm going to make you believe this stupid something really silly.

Like, it's silly, and it's just like a fun reveal.

This isn't, this is true.

This is intense.

This is something that could so happen.

This person obviously isn't on Reddit enough.

This happens all the fucking time.

Also, yeah, there's no way to actually prove definitively that you weren't lying.

It's funny if it's like, oh, Five Nights of Freddies is a true crime story.

No, here it's not.

It's a video game, and we're going to play it now.

That's not Constantinople.

That's Statue of Liberty.

It says it right there on the statue.

Yeah.

Whereas this, it's like just cheating allegations for fun.

It's like, okay, man.

How do you prove that?

100%.

Yeah.

Because I'm with you where I'd now be like.

Like she started seeing his reaction and was like, oh, shoot, I shouldn't tell him actually, and thought maybe she could get away with it by calling it a prank.

Like,

what a funny joke to just be a sketchy partner.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Verdict is not the asshole.

Comments, not the asshole.

The worst part about this to me isn't even the prank.

It's that after the prank, she sees you are upset, and instead of apologizing, she blames you for believing her and begins to question you.

Also, just remember, she can make herself cry, so don't let tears fool you anymore.

Someone else said, not the asshole.

The reason cheating ends relationships is for the same reason lying does.

It breaks the trust in the relationship.

She may not have a pattern of cheating, but she does have a long pattern of lying.

And that's why you didn't trust her enough to immediately reject the idea she had cheated on you.

She's the one who has deliberately eroded the trust in your relationship for laughs over the years.

Of course you don't trust her.

She's made an effort to convince you not to trust her.

How do you even know which part she's lying about this time?

Maybe it was just a prank.

Or maybe she really did cheat, but then she pretended it was a prank when she started to doubt that you would forgive her.

I think at this point you might want to consider couples counseling to see if it's possible to rebuild the trust between you.

You can't have a stable relationship without trust, and it's clear that you justifiably don't trust her enough for a stable relationship.

Lastly, someone said, not the asshole, sorry, but jokes are meant to be funny.

And this, if a joke was just cruel, messing around with your unborn child's paternity, then gaslighting you for believing she wouldn't stoop that low to joke about it, is a serious red flag.

Whether you admit it to yourself or not, you will always have a doubt in the back of your mind about the baby's paternity.

Yeah.

So I would demand a DNA test to alleviate your doubts.

And if your wife is upset, remind her she created the situation by trying to be funny.

She crossed so many boundaries and really needs to grow up and stop with her hysterically funny pranks.

Yeah, it's a scary, it's a scary joke, you know, like I would feel bad even trying to say those words to you.

Like there's, that's just so wrong.

So like the fact that she was so comfortable to commit so hard to supposedly, if this is a prank, it's like, I don't know, there's, there's some, you need to be more empathetic to your partner.

It's kind of, it's kind of like the other pranks that we've read today where I'm like, what's the, what, what you, oh, you wanted to make them feel horrible.

Yeah, also I'm bringing the baby into it and being like, I don't know if the baby's your

that is like the legacy length version of the prank where it's like, oh, this doesn't just impact our relationship.

It actually changes the dynamic of your child potentially.

Like, whoa.

And

I think we all know with this lady as well with all the other pranks here is if he did something of this caliber to her, I don't think she'd forgive him.

You know, she would not be able to handle it.

In fact, he should be like, I'm divorcing you.

And they should get all the way to the process and then be like, pranked.

He should show her the papers and just says pranked on it.

And you know, she'd be pissed.

You know, like, he draws like a little happy face and a penis on the signed line.

Pranked.

Right.

Pranked.

But it's also like he literally is like, I don't want to stress her out because she's pregnant.

Like,

he can't prank her back.

That'd be messed up.

You can't prank a pregnant person.

Are you kidding me?

Yeah.

Weird.

There's so many other, funnier things.

So many, like, literally, third ear, you can have that one.

My baby has 11,000 toes.

So funny.

The doctors at the delivery room are like, there's no baby.

I'm just kidding.

Here he is.

Imagine a baby with 11,000 toes.

Oh, a banana.

11,000 toes on a baby.

Whole foot is just toes.

11,000.

Toes.

In the middle of her giving birth, they do the clown thing where it's just a bunch of like rope and stuff.

They're like, whoa.

It's like, here comes one.

Here's another.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

50 babies.

Just kidding.

Howie Mendel.

There you go.

This one comes from the relationship subreddit.

This is a 24-year-old man.

He writes, my girlfriend, who's 24, went way too far pranking her male friend, who's also 24, and now I'm wondering if the pranks are flirtation after all.

No.

My girlfriend of two years has had this male friend for a while.

His name is Declan, and I'm not his biggest fan, but I didn't want to impede on the friendship.

She told me last week that Declan pranked her by calling her up and pretending to be Jack Nicholson with one of those soundboards, so she wants to get him back.

So as a joke, the next time we were over at his place, she used his landline to call a sex hotline that charged by the minute and then just left the phone there.

Declan got charged like $200.

So Declan strikes back at her again.

At this point, they're still just being goofy, and I don't really mind.

He comes over to her place for a party she was throwing, then hides this creepy, decapitated doll in her closet.

She finds it, freaks out, but then laughs it off.

Now she wants to prank Declan even harder.

She knows he's scared of clowns, so she made a giant paper-mâché clown statue that is hollow on the inside.

She wanted to put it in his house, apparently his roommate will let her in or something, then hide in it all night and pop out of it as soon as he noticed.

I tell her this seems a little extreme, but she does it anyway.

Fast forward to that night, I got a call from my girlfriend because apparently Declan punched her in the face as soon as he saw her pop out of the clown, totally as a knee-jerk reaction because he didn't know it was her.

Her nose wound up getting broken and she had to go to the hospital.

Now she's fine, although she is still wearing a splint, but she wants to continue pranking Declan.

At this point, should I put my foot down?

She is actually getting injured and it makes me wonder if she just likes being around him so much that she is using the pranks as an excuse.

We've read other pranks that have fallen under that same category where

it's a partner being uncomfortable with

their partner and their friend pranking each other, but it gets to the point where they're like going into each other's apartments and leaving things and stuff.

Okay, this is really intense.

Hearing a paper-mâché clown,

I'm like, and like buying

big enough to get inside.

So she's going to perfectly make this to get inside.

This roommate's going to perfectly let her in, and she's going to perfectly get into the closet and wait overnight to jump out I do wonder if this story is real but like that's a lot it's a lot of effort these are also you know this is very specific stuff she may as well just paint it and dress like a clown like it's giving like oh you can't really there's a lot of like energy here and know where to put it right it shouldn't it be his turn to prank back Because she got him.

Yeah.

Or no, he left the decapitated doll.

But then she did the

clown.

So he punched her.

The punch wasn't the prank, so it's the call.

The mouth was the prank ball in his prank.

Core.

But she's just down.

She's just down for the prank battle to keep going.

After getting her nose broken.

I think she just wants to keep hanging out with him, and they both don't feel...

They feel like it's a fun, like,

way to do it that doesn't make you feel vulnerable.

Yeah, yeah.

This is the, this is this girl's.

boyfriend writing this history.

I'm already like not a huge fan of this guy friend.

Yeah.

Oh, to me, that's a little.

And I'm not as big as his name is Declan.

I'm not as big as a fan, but I didn't want to impede on the friendship.

So it just,

there's red flags around that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would feel weird.

It's like, yeah, the girls'

homes.

No, I would feel like he's like, he came during a party.

She came to his home when no one was home.

It's like, we're getting real comfortable.

Yeah.

And I think pranks are just, they're like a,

it's like heavy joking.

And it's heavy like between them.

Like, I don't know,

it's a lot of like this clown one's intense too.

It's like, hey, I'm gonna go over to this guy's house.

I'm gonna hide in his room overnight.

Okay.

So you had a sleepover.

Oh my God.

Okay, so I just thought of the funniest prank.

What if I, what if I fuck him?

Yeah.

What if we fuck?

Like, that'd be so silly.

It's crazy.

Like, I don't have a crush on him, but it would be a funny prank.

But like, if we go and I'm like, hey, let's have sex.

And he's like, all right, let's have sex.

And we have consensual sex and we both love it.

And then what if we like also date?

All right, comments.

Well, your girlfriend is an adult, so no, don't put your foot down, but you can say, hey, you got hurt.

Maybe it's time to call it a truce.

It does sound kind of flirty to me.

Did she pay him for the sex line calls, by the way?

Because she totally should have.

OP said, no, he told her it was fine and hilarious and he didn't ask her to pay him back.

He also paid for her hospital bills after he punched her in the face.

Chivalry then.

Just kidding.

Can I also say the sex line thing is also interesting because these pranks are also like treading a line of like sexual things.

It does feel like there's a lot of repressed feelings that they can't just

choosing a sex line was I was like huh.

Yeah.

So quickly.

And he was like, don't worry, I paid the bill.

They gave me a great coupon back and I actually love them.

Someone said, as someone who loves pranks, I have definitely started prank wars with guys I like as an excuse to flirt with them.

I have also pranked male friends of mine with absolutely no desire to bang them.

So I don't think anything in the post is evidence enough to prove that she wants to cheat.

This sub is really suspicious of friendships outside of relationships, but I don't think that suspicion is always warranted.

You can't put your foot down in that you can't tell her what to do, but you can at least ask for some insurance.

She sounds competitive and like she doesn't want to get beat, so that may be why she wants to continue the pranks even after she got hurt.

Continuing shows she's tough and not scared in her mind.

That prideful mindset can be hard to get over, but explain that you're worried about her and worried about how this is escalating.

You can ask her what the hell she's getting out of this that's worth getting her nose broken.

Maybe that will at least make her pause and think about her motivations.

Lastly, someone said her friendship with this guy seems inappropriately close, but I have to admit, that clown costume sounds impressive.

If you do break up with her, ask her to teach you some paper-mâché skills first.

Please teach me paper-mâché.

Please put Arasha in a paper-mâché

clown

Class!

Update number one.

Oh, there's multiple!

They're gonna break up!

They're going to speak easy!

They're at the speakey

update, we're both in paper, machay.

Paper mache.

Didn't think I'd have to do an update so soon after posting my original post, but here goes.

I talked to my girlfriend about Declan, and I told her that the pranks are getting dangerous, and she is unreasonably close to a guy she's only known for such a short amount of time.

She refers to him as her brother and her BFF, but it's literally been five months.

Brother and BFF.

Yeah,

I remember, honestly, in youth group, when I had a crush on a boy, we TP'd his house.

Whoa.

Five months is a very short amount.

That's changeable.

I think I was under the assumption that maybe I must have missed it.

I was under the assumption that...

I thought they were like childhood friends and childhood friends, because she just says a male friend

has had this male friend for a while.

So she's five months.

So OP and this girl have been together for two years.

She's only known this friend for five months

and she's already going into his house doing stuff.

That changes things.

That's important context.

You haven't touched your meatloaf.

You just keep looking at the paper-mâché that you're making.

Yeah, no, because like I've, we've, you might have experienced this type of guy where it's like, when you're in a relationship, it's this other guy that, like, even though you're in a relationship, sometimes that doesn't mean anything to them.

And they're like, well, maybe she'll leave him for me.

And like, five months is compared to a two-year relationship, this friend, like that's a concern.

That's weird.

Oh God.

Okay, so it's literally been five months.

I thought she would react in a mature way, but instead she said, almost word for word, this is why I am always pranking Declan.

At least Declan has a good sense of humor.

I wouldn't even need to hang out with Declan if you weren't so uptight.

So at least now I have confirmation that she hangs out with Declan specifically because she thinks I am not good enough.

I hate his name.

We wound up having a screaming match, and in the midst of our fight, the doorbell rang so she went to get it.

It's a guy in a giant gorilla costume.

Shut the fuck up!

Who barges in and starts humping all our furniture.

Immediately,

immediately I assume it's fucking Declan, so I, keep in mind I was already extremely angry, punch him in the face.

Whoa!

He takes off the mask and it's Declan's roommate, Chad.

Apparently Declan paid Chad $100 to scare us in the gorilla suit as a diversion because he was right behind Chad.

While Chad was humping our furniture, Declan snuck into our bedroom and put ham underneath the mattress cover.

No,

this is not real.

What in the fucking Disney Channel 2005 shit is this?

So I tell both of these dudes to get the fuck out and stop pranking us.

I thought I was finally standing up to Declan when finally my girlfriend told me that the prank was hilarious and she's going to give me time to cool off.

She leaves with Chad and Declan.

Keep in mind, Chad's nose is still bleeding and he's wearing the gorilla suit.

I haven't heard from her yet today, but I saw her post a picture of a bagel on Instagram this morning, so I know she's awake.

I still don't know where she slept last night or what happened with Declan.

I want to break up because I'm so angry, but weirdly enough, I still really love her.

I can't help it, and I don't want to waste two years.

I got to be real honest.

Like,

maybe I'll sound like a total dude with this, but like, if your girlfriend just like...

Gets upset with you and leaves the house with two other guys, you're broken up.

That's the end of the relationship.

I'm going to let you cool down and I'm going to go have sex with these guys.

I'm gonna go deep.

No, if their names are Chad and Declan,

it's fully done.

Also, can you fucking imagine being like in a tense fucking argument?

You're like, it's been two years.

Like, you can't take a joke.

He's like, well, he can't take jokes.

And you guys are like really trying to communicate.

And a gorilla comes in and starts humping your couch.

And you're like, look at this.

I can't live like this.

That's the funniest shit I've ever heard.

If like a fucking guy's like,

and you're like trying to have a real argument.

Oh my God.

I can't believe that's the first prank that we've read today where I'm like, that one was actually a little bit funny.

That's so funny.

That one was actually a little funny.

They're like, oh my God, this relationship's hard.

Ding-dong.

Man and a girl.

Doorbell, first of all.

Yeah.

Hilarious.

Like, a gorilla.

He's like,

can you believe it's it's Chad?

And then Chad running in with ham to get under the mat.

Declan somehow speaks past.

It's me.

Babe, there's ham under our bed.

How did he know that that's?

Why does every prank involve like beds and sex and stuff?

Like the gorillas humping?

Like, no, this is very much, it's very clear what's going on here.

So you go through the front and you start humping the shit out of their fireplace.

I have the honey baked.

I'll go through the back and stick it out to.

Like, what?

Why did you need to do a one-two?

You know what would have made this all really funny?

Is if the gorilla's in there and it's like, oh, I know it's Declan, but then all of a sudden, Chad and Declan show up at the door and they're like, wait,

who's it?

The gorilla costume.

And it's just a real gorilla.

That's her hammock.

And it's her parents.

He paid $100 for Chad.

These two just need a date.

I'm sorry.

Declan and OP.

Just go out on a date and stop spending money on stupid shit.

Like your friend in a fucking costume humping a bed.

It's crazy.

All right.

Update number two.

Yeah.

Okay.

Here we go.

Oh, God.

She ate that bagel.

The night of my previous post, I broke up with my girlfriend.

Good.

I told her that I thought her behavior with Declan was already an emotional affair, if not a physical one.

100%.

Not surprisingly, she flipped out at me and told me I was being emotionally abusive and controlling.

She told me that every ex-boyfriend she's had has been emotionally abusive, and I fall right into that category.

And then a leprechaun came through the door and started licking our walls.

Because she's only kind of living with me and technically not on the lease, she's just slowly been staying here more often and has a key, it was pretty easy to kick her out.

I wasn't sure if she was going to return to her old roommate who has most of her stuff, her female friend, or if she'd start living with Declan and Chad.

When I asked her if she was going to move in with Declan, she told me it was no longer my business.

Anyway, that night I tried to relax.

I was upset but pretty confident in my decision to dump her.

I felt like I could start anew, meet someone else, et cetera.

Then I got a bunch of random calls on my phone from a restricted number, but when I picked up, nobody was there.

So I turned my phone on silent, figuring this was one of her immature schemes.

To be honest, I still don't know who did it.

I'm just assuming her or Declan.

And in the morning, I had 60 missed calls from restricted numbers.

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The UPS store.

Be unstoppable.

Come into your local store today and

In the morning, I actually got a text from Declan asking to come over to pick up my girlfriend's stuff.

So, yes, she moved in with him.

I tried to be civil because I really just wanted to get her stuff out of my apartment, but I also wanted closure.

When he got here, I told him that his relationship with her directly influenced the breakup and that I know they're together now.

Now, this is where things get weird.

Declan looks at me, surprised, and tells me that he doesn't think my girlfriend is into him and that he definitely isn't into her.

I told him to cut the crap, that it doesn't matter anymore.

He seemed to be getting anxious and panicky, so I told him to calm down.

I wasn't going to hurt him.

I just wanted to know the deal.

Then he tells me he knows he directly contributed to our breakup, but not in the way I think.

Apparently it was Chad, not Declan, who wanted to bang my girlfriend.

Chad was too shy and asked Declan to befriend my girlfriend and act as a wingman.

Declan has tons of female friends, so Chad thought he would effectively gain her trust and be a good in.

Declan insisted the reason he kept pranking her and being goofy was because he was hoping it would paint their relationship as clearly non-romantic.

Apparently, Chad paid him back for all the times he had to lose money in a prank, and Chad was actually the one who paid for my girlfriend's broken nose.

I told him, well, that was a stupid plan because my girlfriend moved in with you specifically to be with you.

So that sucks for all three of you.

Declan got extremely upset and seemed to be practically shaking at the idea that my girlfriend had feelings for him.

He was acting like he murdered someone.

So now my girlfriend, well, X, is living with the guy she has a crush on, who has no feelings for her, and a guy who has a crush on her but was too creepy and weird to say it.

I hope they all have fun together.

What?

So, Chad was the man in the hotel party.

So,

it was the gorilla all along.

It was the gorilla all along.

I thought Declan was fucking Chad.

I was, you know, I had a moment where I really thought Declan was gonna be like, oh no, I'm gay.

Yeah,

we're together.

This is

what an update.

Yeah.

Wow.

Oh my goodness.

What a mess.

Yeah.

I do feel like this happens a lot in like maybe like younger friend groups where like someone shy hides behind the big personality friend and then that person ends up doing all the connecting because they're the ones putting themselves out there.

I have been that friend in like middle school where it was like,

I'm trying to pull the weight and then they go, but what about you?

Yeah, 100%.

Oh, no, no, no.

Where you wing woman too hard and you just like end up being stuck in conversations with the guy rather than like manifesting it between your friend?

Yeah, yeah.

So, so, wow.

So, she had a roommate that she, like, a girlfriend, who she was already living with, but she was like kind of mostly staying at his OP's place, but then decides to go move in with Declan and Declan comes to pick up her stuff for her.

Weird.

Like, within five months, this is who she has to, like, help her and that she's moving in with and stuff.

It sounds wild, but I know people like this do exist.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think she's just really emotionally immature.

Oh, yeah.

All of them are.

Yeah.

Like, none of them are thinking.

A lot of people hiding behind.

It's another prank story where people are hiding behind how they really feel.

Right.

I also, it's just the fact that she like accused OP of being emotionally abusive and saying every one of my exes did this to me.

It's like, I think you've been struggling to emotionally keep up with some of this stuff because you're focusing on pranks and being immature.

Like,

yeah.

Or, like, when someone's always like, every single person I've dated, this is a problem.

Yeah.

It's like, oh, my exes are good.

I think you're the common denominator.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not true for everybody.

Okay, so so far, we have one prank we like, and that's the gorilla.

I mean, it's hilarious.

I don't know.

And that's the boy who had the crush.

You don't like the gorilla?

I don't like the gorilla.

I'm sorry.

I don't mean to yuck your guys's.

No, it's totally.

I mean, it's.

I don't like the ham part of it.

But the gorilla.

Chad went in humping furniture for his crush with a mask on.

He added context that he's in love with her.

And so he just jumps in there and is humping things.

And he starts humping things.

Actually, it makes it funnier for me.

Me too.

And it makes it really funny that the guy who's like hiding is the one under the mask.

You're right.

Real.

No, it's poetic.

Meanwhile, Declan's just putting a ham in somebody else's mattress.

Like, go do...

Yeah, he's like, I'll do something platonic.

Like, like, put him in your mattress.

What's super brother-like?

Okay, I'll put a ham where she is sex.

His, yeah, I mean, also, I just, I don't like pranks.

I don't like planks.

I don't like pranks that, like, would not look good in a work environment.

You know what I'm saying?

Where it's like, this is inappropriate.

Don't hump things out.

I do agree.

I do agree.

So.

I mean, just that the idea of someone in a gorilla costume makes me laugh.

How do you get into drag?

Because clearly he feels really confident in a mask.

Yeah.

So like, imagine what he's capable of when he can really like dive into a new persona.

Wow.

And imagine what Declan could do for someone he likes.

This is just him being a good friend to Chad.

I know.

Declan should write.

Yeah.

Ham, a baby doll in a closet?

Coming out for Bit City.

Here is our last story.

Prank, we have five more stories.

Yeah.

No,

Frank, it is the last story.

Okay, our last story.

Am I the asshole for leaving my husband in the grocery store because he started acting like a toddler?

We all go through phases and pick up annoying habits, and sometimes we just need our loved ones to gently tell us if we've picked up a particularly egregious habit.

Sometime in the last year, my husband has picked up a habit where he talks like a baby.

At first, it was funny, but passed into embarrassing, cringeworthy behavior quickly.

Examples: doggo, pupper, woofer, slash subwoofer, pibble, hootie boy, peepo, burb, meow meow, sammy, sandwiches, sammy whammy, chicken nuggies.

This is who you're married to.

Chicky nuggies, chicky tendies, adding a toddler-esque lisp to words, and the ones that really get gross are childish euphemism for genitalia or sex.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I cannot emphasize this enough.

It is not endearing or sexy to have my husband talk about my boobies and his wiener and weenie and wee wee hoo-ha's and bejinjos.

What are ginjos?

Bajinjos.

Bajinjo's.

Bajinjo's or Bajinjo?

Bajinjo is vagina.

Bajinjo.

Nostalgia for scrubs be damned.

We have not had sex for six months because he cannot stop talking about my boobies and it makes me sick.

Just before the pandemic hit, we were out at a restaurant with some friends.

He actually ordered a chicky Sammy, like said that exact phrase, chicky Sammy.

Look, it's totally fine that he ordered the chicken sandwich.

That's not the issue.

Our friends noticed the baby talk because he insisted on continuing the joke and even started talking with this god-awful toddler accent.

After that, I just couldn't stomach the idea of going out with him to adult places.

I'd go out to the brewery with friends, but God forbid he'd join me and say, me want another beer or something.

I don't know where it came from.

I don't know why he's doing this.

I finally hit my limit when we were grocery shopping and everything seemed normal and fine until he gasped like a kid, ran to the ice cream section, and jumped up and down, yelling, Ice cream, ice cream, I want chocolate.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm really worried.

Wait, I'm really worried.

I think something's going on.

Oh my god.

Wait, I'm really scared for the menu.

She turns around and he's just like this.

He's like, he's like,

please.

Appy.

Appy.

Please stop.

I think this guy has a gambling problem or something.

There's something underneath the issue.

We have nothing.

Oh my god.

We have nothing.

Unless I have a huge porn addiction and we're in the rent.

We have nothing left.

Except for this chicky sand.

Something's going on.

I woah, fan duel.

Fuck off.

My Paul Wade didn't hit.

We have nothing.

I use our kids' college fun on FanDuel.

I bet 50K on red.

You please, please.

Okay, okay, okay.

We have to finish this story.

So he says, ice cream, ice cream, I want chocolate.

I was mortified.

People were staring at him and me.

He kept going and kept saying, can we get popsicus?

And I just said, and I just said, either talk to me like an adult or I'm leaving.

He started saying, ooh, you must be fun at potties.

And lighten up, will you?

And shit like that.

I just said, fuck it, and left the store, leaving him to walk home like a mile.

It was fine.

A mile.

Because I couldn't even look at him.

Since then, things have been very tense.

He keeps telling me that he wants an apology for embarrassing him by leaving him in the store.

I told him that people don't get to demand apologies.

Embarrassing him?

That's what he said.

If someone wants to apologize, it's up to them.

I'm absolutely not going to apologize for saving myself the embarrassment of a 35-year-old man with a mortgage and retirement account asking for chocolate ice cream.

And Popsicoles.

He got his fucking...

I'm so excited!

He got his fucking mom involved, no joke.

She keeps telling me it's just a phase and that he's probably bored and I should be happy this is his midlife crisis rather than him fucking 19 year olds at a local bar.

Whoa!

That's a crazy.

That's a crazy statement.

I think something's going on.

I think something's really bad is going on.

I think this guy murdered someone.

I don't think something happened.

He's having a mental break.

I'm going crazy.

Am I the asshole?

Do I really just need to let my husband continuously embarrass me like this?

Edit.

Edit.

Edit.

Sorry, there was only so much space.

I have talked to him multiple times, especially about the sexual comments.

I've made it extremely abundantly clear that him using terms like boobies and wee wee are absolutely repulsive to me, among other things he says.

Does he have a job?

Yes.

And he acts completely normal as far as I know.

He worked from home for a while during lockdown, and I never heard him talk like this to anyone he worked with.

Oh my god, imagine.

He's like, oh my pee-ee-wee wee time.

Hey what's up George?

Yeah I got the meeting at 4 p.m.

No problem.

All right.

See you later.

The deal's done.

How's she going for grapes?

But imagine in the middle of like a presentation at work, he's like, this mojo is going to be really great.

I love mojo.

Does he do it with friends?

Sometimes, and it's generally meant to annoy them or gross them out, but he stops.

He has friends where they think it's cute to embarrass each other.

Is this a kink/slash fetish?

If so, I'm absolutely done.

Has he seen a doctor?

No, but I asked him if he needed to talk to someone because he was acting strange, and he accused me of being stuck up and judgmental.

Given that he doesn't act like this with his coworkers or his family and only jokes around with his friends, I'm willing to bet that this is an indication that he's trying to force this fetish on me non-consensually or trying to get me to leave.

Does he have childhood trauma?

As far as I know, and I'm relatively close to his family and would likely know, the most traumatic thing he had happened was a minor car accident when he was around 13 years old.

No injuries, no death, etc.

He hasn't been in a car accident in the past two years or anything like that, and I haven't.

And as far as I know, no one else in his family has been, etc.

I don't know if she under that feels like a different type of trauma she's bringing up.

Like, she felt like his brain got hurt.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, I think.

Some weird reverse boss baby.

But, you know, I feel like if someone asked the word trauma, she would have brought up something.

If she was aware of it, yeah.

Yeah, I have so much to say about this because, like, you know, there's like this thing to be said about when you start saying a word ironically, your brain registers it, it registers it as I feel good when I say this.

So then it will eventually become unironic and it will just become a part of your vocabulary.

I feel like that could be part of it, but also knowing this dynamic with his friends and how they like to embarrass each other.

We know these people that like they can tell when something makes you uncomfortable.

It makes them want to do it so much more.

Like it is such an interesting type of person, but it so so is so common because it's like why why do you want that reaction out of your partner like why do you want to annoy your partner and interesting that he'll stop with his friends because he like respects them more but he's like doesn't like doesn't respect his partner's boundaries as much what's another red flag in the prank area where it is like someone gets a lot of humor out of someone's pain or discomfort oh

there's really not a there's not a great resolution to this because either way he's just not respecting her.

She's saying, hey, this makes me really uncomfortable.

and he just keeps he keeps doing it kind of because of that yeah or he's benjamin button or maybe he's becoming a baby maybe he's smoky becoming baby maybe this is some weird grounded like like substance boss baby thing

substance boss baby club

when

uh some comments here uh man by the title i assumed he just threw a temper tantrum or something this is so much worse and i have no idea how you put up with it for as long as you have not the asshole and your husband needs some professional interference ASAP.

Someone else said, not the asshole.

I have two kids.

They have never talked like that because if you talk to children with big words, they will too.

What the hell is he going on about?

Tell him if he insists on acting like a child, you will find him a nanny to take care of him.

Someone else said, not the asshole.

What the actual fuck?

My boyfriend and I are in our 30s and will admit that our speech can be fairly young.

There are doggos, things with crunch, and our pet name for each other is a similar cutesy derivative.

But that's, you know, at home.

And we're both down for it.

What boggles my mind is when people say, I can't believe you're making a big deal out of X, when the issue is actually, I have told you repeatedly that X action bothers me a lot, but you keep doing it.

Why aren't you respecting my boundaries?

Legit, though, I feel like he needs some individual counseling.

Yeah, I had an ex like this where it's like, Are you like, Are you trying to make me want to break up with you?

Like, I don't understand.

Or they will just do something for so long as if it's a bit, but it's like, No, you're committed to this more than you're committed to me.

You know what I mean?

Like, whoa.

Yeah.

Poof.

Update.

Please say.

Oh my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

It's from the POV of the baby.

Boy, man, guy.

Please.

Well, here I am with the update.

I talked to my husband after doing some soul searching.

There was no kink, no childhood trauma.

I asked him first if he understands why I'm upset and to please clarify if he was doing this on purpose or if we needed to seek medical intervention.

He didn't want to tell me at first and I got worried.

He eventually caved when I suggested we look for a doctor because of how worried I am.

It was a bet with one of his friends that started as them trying to embarrass each other in public.

He bet my husband that he couldn't keep it up for the whole year.

The only off-limits part was at work because he couldn't jeopardize his career.

No, no, he decided to jeopardize his marriage instead.

For what prize?

What was he going to win?

A signed baseball.

A baseball.

I thought he was still joking.

No, he was dead serious.

How is the friend verifying?

My husband would share little videos he took here and there of him upsetting me with the baby talk, including times he tried to initiate sex by whispering this baby talk in my ear.

I wasn't in any state of undress.

And by seeing us in public, like at the brewery, he got cross with me in the grocery store because I interrupted the recording and almost blew the whole operation.

He wasn't remorseful or apologetic.

He thought we were both in on this little joke and that I'd find it hysterical.

I asked him, did he understand we haven't had sex in months?

No, no, it didn't matter.

It was all worth it to him.

He kept saying, you just don't get it.

It's not just a baseball.

I told him the joke was over.

It was time to stop for good, but that I was willing to move on with him.

I could forgive him.

No, he wanted to keep going.

There are only two months left on the bet, so he's so close.

He said, we can have sex if you want.

We'll just pretend X, Y, Z.

And I was just like, why does thinking about your friend even factor into this?

What's wrong with you?

You never had to do this and ruin our intimate moments.

But he said, I just didn't get it.

And he had to be in character all the time.

After a lot of arguing and tears, I left him.

I'm heading up to Colorado to be with my family through Christmas, and then I'm going to move in with my sister for a little while to figure out next steps.

I hope it was worth it

because of the baby talk.

And that is what we call in the business: standing on business.

Don't, don't, don't, don't,

don't.

Wow.

Wow.

Like I said, committing to a prank harder than committing to your relationship.

You were right on.

I think

the funniest thing out of all these stories we read today is her being like, we haven't had sex in six months.

And he's just like, yeah.

It's for us signed baseball.

This guy must be so fucking confident in himself to like bring that into the bedroom and be like, I'll fix it later.

I like, let me talk to you like this for my bro.

Like, are you kidding?

When he's like, he's like, okay, this will alleviate things.

I've been recording you in secret.

Yeah.

You're just a pawn in my whole game with my boys.

Like, you could have doubled up on the prank.

Watch this, double stuff prank.

Tell your wife she's in on it.

Makes it the process that much easier for you.

Do a bunch of fake videos.

Get it all done.

Yes.

I honestly think the worst part about pranks is the exclusion.

And sometimes that's necessary for the prank.

But I think you have to like really be careful.

And if you're excluding someone so badly, it's never going to be funny.

Yeah.

A year?

A year?

A year is not fun.

Yeah, I'm glad she went to that measure because I think that there's just something under the hood.

Like there's smoke where there's fire.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like there's something, that's just one thing it feels like in a pile of other stuff because that feels like someone who's just like not willing to fight for your relationship.

That's almost always the case with Reddit stories, right?

It's like, oh, here's a thing that's happening.

It's like, but there was a pattern that's been going on for a long time.

Someone who's willing to do that probably has done a bunch of other bullshit.

Yeah.

Before.

Well, damn.

The only funny prank was the gorilla.

So you think the gorilla was the only funny prank?

And you stand that there was no funny pranks.

There's the ham, the ham.

You think the ham was the hammer.

Listen, maybe we need a gorilla humping a stack of pancakes.

Maybe, oh.

Okay, to be completely, this is different.

At Smosh, the rules are a a little different because we could be in the middle of filming any video.

And if a gorilla ran in and started humping the furniture, I'd be laughing.

Yeah, 100%.

Yeah, if I'm here reading Reddit Stories and a gorilla runs in and starts humping this chair,

I'd start laughing.

So there will be a day 10 years from now where Andrew will

be in a gorilla suit and I

will be holding a hand.

I'll be old.

And I'll be old.

Let's.

In 10 years, put it on your calendar.

10 years from today.

Today.

Okay.

Wow.

Wow.

I can't believe you just did that.

That was a really good batch of stories.

That was awesome.

That was awesome.

Damn.

Well,

thank you both for being here.

Thanks for being here.

I was going to say,

I was going to try and tie in.

Like, I'm glad that we got to do this episode because we've done a prank.

We have done a prank.

Well, we actually didn't prank anyone.

What do you mean?

Are you admitting it's a prank?

It wasn't a prank, but it was on April Fool's Day.

I I mean, but we just told people the truth on April Fool's Day.

You're right.

Yeah, and I was there.

Okay, the prank was we did set up that Smoshmouth was going to be like

crazy.

But also, it's like, did we check?

It's almost one year anniversary of our prank.

Oh.

Yeah.

No, that was epic, though.

That was the greatest.

It was epic because it wasn't a prank.

It was just silly.

It was just...

And it was exciting.

Yeah, that was fun.

I love pranking people, but I like to do it in a way that's so fun.

Yeah.

With your graduation.

At the end of the day.

Here we are.

The graduation was the only prank in my life where I was like, okay, that was awesome.

Or like,

oh, this is...

Don't mix me cry.

Don't, don't, don't.

Because it's just like, oh, here's a sweet thing.

Like if the if the prank ends with everyone laughing, then it was great.

That's a hit.

But if someone's upset at the end, then you failed.

If someone's in small claims court, you fucked it, my guy.

Yeah, you fucked it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I view pranks the same way I view like when we, whenever we've done roasting where i'm like if you roast someone and the person you're roasting doesn't laugh then you just insulted them yeah that's all that was yeah it's like you gotta you gotta think about these things it takes some thought so yeah yeah

anyways um me on amazon looking up gorilla costumes

oh my god man that's so funny you know the big gorilla chair that's been going viral it's a giant armchair that's a gorilla and next week on rip stories that's gonna be right there

and then a gorilla comes in and humps the gorilla chair And the gorilla baby comes out.

Blackout.

Subscribe for more.

Thank you both for watching.

Thank you guys for watching.

Let us know what other subreddits and themes you'd like to see on the show.

And we'll see you next Saturday.

Bye.

Have a great Saturday.

Don't prank anyone.

Don't prank.

Oh, these pancakes are actually butthole.

Ew.

I hated that.

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