Green With Envy | Reading Reddit Stories
0:00 Intro
2:10 My wife is jealous that my ex-wife has found love https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1b4nuuf/why_is_mym37_wife_f30_jealous_that_my_exwife_has/
9:44 Sponsor
10:54 I was left out of my daughter's bday pictures https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1ekqjyu/i_was_once_again_left_out_of_my_daughters/
26:34 Sponsor
27:46 I called my sister a jealous hag https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bqsz6d/aita_for_calling_my_sister_a_jealous_hag_because/
38:04 My gf catfished me "as a prank" https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1jhx3yj/i_28m_am_considering_leaving_my_gf_29f_after_she/
49:02 My SIL has a weird nickname for my husband https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/1jdlfu2/jealousofsossibling_troll_is_back/
57:46 My parents called a little girl the cutest they had ever seen https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1i303or/aio_for_being_offended_that_my_parents_called_a/
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Transcript
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Speaker 16
Welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is jealousy.
And I'm joined by two people that I am jealous of.
Speaker 17 You have Courtney.
Speaker 16 Just kidding.
Speaker 15 Oh.
Speaker 16
They're jealous of me. Yeah, right.
Exactly. There it is.
Speaker 16 Jealousy. Are you guys jealous people? Do you ever deal with jealousy? You go.
Speaker 16 I would, okay, so I want to say no. I do want to say no,
Speaker 16 but I have to say yes.
Speaker 16 I just, actually, not with, not with like wins and acting stuff i'm really good about that like i'm like yay i'm glad you got that even if i was up for the same part i'm like that i feel happiness instead of like sure i should have gotten it instead sure
Speaker 16 yeah what's the difference in envious and jealous jealousy is the fear of losing something in a situation because of someone else possibly whereas envy is going oh i wish i had what they had right um i think in a lot of those situations i don't think i'm the jealous type too much i definitely have felt a lot of envy throughout my life but i think that's very common in acting, right?
Speaker 16 Because we're in an industry where it's like
Speaker 16 people just get a role that you want and it's, you know, it's, it's just an interesting career in that way. But jealousy in relationships, I don't think I ever really,
Speaker 16 like, I'm not threatened by someone, right?
Speaker 16 Because I guess I've always had the thought of like, if someone's gonna, you know, leave you or cheat on you or something, I'm like, there's nothing I can do about it.
Speaker 17 Like, you know,
Speaker 17 there are the moments where emotions feel like they're high and it's like, wait, I'm maybe threatened or feeling a little bit concerned.
Speaker 17 But then exactly that, that feeling of, hold on, if they are actually interested in somebody else or if they're even like going so far as to like pursue them, there's nothing really that I can do.
Speaker 16
Jealousy definitely seems to pertain in relationships because you're fear of losing your partner. Right.
Right. But envy seems to be more the case with anything career related.
Yeah.
Speaker 17 I think so. Or just outside of romantic relationships.
Speaker 16
Okay, here we go. Our first first story comes from relationship advice.
Okay.
Speaker 16 This is a 37-year-old man writing in, why is my wife, 30-year-old woman, jealous that my ex-wife has found love?
Speaker 16 I don't know what else to add to the title. My wife is kind of obsessed, stalking and following my ex-wife since she told us that she was engaged.
Speaker 16 Apparently, my ex has been seeing this guy for a while, but since she's a mom, she didn't want to make it official until everything is serious so as not to confuse the children.
Speaker 16 My wife is in shock and her first reaction to the news is, who is this loser then?
Speaker 16 But the new guy seems really nice and instead of being glad that at least her stepchildren would have a good man in their mother's life, my wife is very irritated and angry. I would even say jealous.
Speaker 16 She isn't following my ex on Instagram so she can't follow the relationship so she sent the new guy a follow request. I confronted her and she denied being jealous or obsessive.
Speaker 16 I told her that we should be happy since my children will have to live with this man and it is a good thing that he is good to their mother and that she's in a happy relationship.
Speaker 16
It benefits everyone. She asked me who in his right mind would want her.
I was surprised because why would she not think any human, let alone someone like my ex, is worth love?
Speaker 16
I told her probably plenty would because she is a kind and pleasant person. All hell broke loose, and she started calling my ex names.
Can anyone help me out here?
Speaker 16 This is interesting. Yeah.
Speaker 17 This is interesting.
Speaker 16
My first inclination is like, I want to know what the other guy's deal is. Like, if, okay, let me explain this.
Let's hear it. If he's hotter or more successful, I'd be like, fuck, she went up.
Speaker 15 She, like, she upgraded.
Speaker 16 And I'm stuck with the schlub that's my husband. No.
Speaker 16
That's my inclination. Sure.
Just because it's in jealousy, so I'm like looking at a lens through jealousy. She's like, and maybe she knows stories about her.
Speaker 16
Hurting the husband, so she just wants the worst for her. Sure.
Maybe. Yeah.
Speaker 17 It could be that almost like a sort of like protectiveness in a way or or anger off of whatever happened between their relationship I am suspecting that a lot of these stories are going to be related to insecurity oh totally you know which a lot of that derives from it's like because because people that are completely content and at peace with themselves are so often not jealous of other people or envious because they are like at peace and they're good and it seems like this situation kind of screams to to me like she is maybe not super happy or she feels like she has to win.
Speaker 17 And so she's in competition with this ex-wife. And now that the ex-wife has found happiness, she's not happy with it and is reacting in some sort of way of like, no, she can't have this.
Speaker 17 And I love the point of like the husband being happy because his kids are going to get another great figure in his life, in their life. That makes so much sense.
Speaker 17 But she, for some reason, isn't able to see that because she's caught up in her own
Speaker 17 tiff with this ex-wife, who, again, there's definitely a lot of context missing.
Speaker 16 Yeah, it's interesting because I hear about people being jealous of their ex or like caring about their ex's life, but it's interesting that she is obsessed with her partner's ex. That's weird.
Speaker 16
That's a lot because I'm assuming. you know, a lot of time has had to have passed by this point.
Yeah.
Speaker 16 I mean, she's clearly comparing herself to his ex, and maybe it's that the ex is doing so well maybe she's worried that he'll see how well she's doing.
Speaker 16
It seems that all hell broke loose once he said no she's a kind and pleasant person. Right.
It's like oh his wife his ex has his her life together. Yeah.
Speaker 16
She and so she's doing really well so she's maybe like oh no will this make him want her more now that she's with someone else. Maybe that like kind of that type of thinking.
Totally totally again.
Speaker 16
So maybe that's would be her logic. Yeah.
So she's putting her logic here his. Yeah.
She's definitely insecure. Oof.
Speaker 16 When I start talking to a boy, I'm gonna look up every ex you've ever had really i'm gonna look them up and i'm gonna yeah on linkedin on instagram like i want to know everything interesting i guess it for me it's kind of like a it's like the pain that i want to feel you know
Speaker 17 i want to hurt you i want to hurt myself tell me how you guys met you know and it's like it hurts but i want to know i get that so i think i think for me it's it's in a way kind of like a guilty pleasure thing i i don't think i obsess over it in that way because i also try to just be like, that was a different time and space.
Speaker 17 And almost everybody has exes. And so when I put myself in the shoes of my partner and then I think of my ex, I'm just kind of like, wait, there's no competition there.
Speaker 17 I'm not thinking about my ex like that.
Speaker 16 I guess what's tough with this one is they have kids, so it's not like she's completely out of his life. Yeah.
Speaker 16 They do probably see each other. They're both parents to the same children.
Speaker 16 That adds another element.
Speaker 16 But you still,
Speaker 16 I mean, come on,
Speaker 16 you have no choice but to kind of get over it, or you can't be in this relationship if this is going to eat at you like this. Yeah, it seems.
Speaker 17 I bet she thinks of the kids a lot in the way of like, that's a leg up that that woman has on me.
Speaker 16 Oh, I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 16
Comments on this. In her head, your ex-wife is a hag that couldn't keep her husband.
She thinks she's the upgrade. Someone falling in love with and committing to your ex doesn't fit her narrative.
Speaker 16 Your ex was meant to grow old old and alone in her mind. Your new wife isn't a good person.
Speaker 16 Someone said, if this is true, this is wild behavior. You seem healthy and well-adjusted at least.
Speaker 16 The only thing I can think of is if she has some irrational need to feel superior to your ex-wife, maybe she is in constant competition with her.
Speaker 16 Someone said, OP commented that his wife was a colleague at the time of his divorce.
Speaker 16 He fell out of love with his ex and in love with her, but didn't consider the relationship cheating because it wasn't physical.
Speaker 16 OP's wife played the long game, but has been in competition with his ex the entire time and OP never noticed.
Speaker 16 It's been a feather in her cap since she won him and now that the ex moved on, she has to know that she got the better man. Yep.
Speaker 16
Someone said, my immediate thought when reading this was OP's wife was the other woman. Good to know that my instincts are correct.
Ooh. Yes, I was thinking that.
Interesting element.
Speaker 16 I did not think about that. Wait, wait, what?
Speaker 16 OP's wife, the 30-year-old woman who's jealous in this story, she was the other woman.
Speaker 16 So he basically kind of cheated on his ex-wife with her it's sounding like uh like an emotional affair with her so now that the ex-wife has moved on and stuff she's like i'm not winning anymore like i i i won but
Speaker 16 totally it's also like that weird um not fetish but it's just like that weird like some people like the danger of it and when the danger is gone when I'm not the other woman, when I'm the woman. Yeah.
Speaker 16
Or the power of it. Sorry, not, I shouldn't say woman.
When I'm the other person in the relationship,
Speaker 16 it's not the primary partner.
Speaker 17 But that makes so much sense. It's like it began as this like chase of like, oh, I need him to choose me outside of his marriage.
Speaker 17 And now that he's done that, there's this, again, like whole story that she's built up in her head.
Speaker 16
It makes me question how long this relationship has been going on. You know, if it's only been a year or so, she, they like, he's in, she's his affair partner.
This has all happened.
Speaker 16
But now it's like, okay, well, now it's, now you're just in a relationship. Yeah.
And now it's not exciting to her anymore. So she's going to move on, probably cheat on him.
Speaker 17
Yeah. Someone else.
And finding that thrill in stalking the ex.
Speaker 16 Yep.
Speaker 15 Okay, so
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Speaker 16 Back to the show. Okay,
Speaker 16 our next story.
Speaker 16 This comes from True Off My Chest.
Speaker 16
I was once again left out of my daughter's birthday pictures, and I'm done talking to my husband about it. Oh.
Oh, no.
Speaker 16 This is sad. Pretty much as the title says, my daughter turned five in the middle of last week, but yesterday we had her birthday party.
Speaker 16 We had it at the local trampoline park since that's her favorite place right now. Because of my husband's work schedule, I did the majority of the planning.
Speaker 16 He did contribute financially, but I planned the theme, made the party reservation, ordered the cake, made the party favors, etc. My daughter is a huge daddy's girl and thus he is the favorite parent.
Speaker 16 She's only five, so I don't hold it against her by any means, but it still definitely hurts. For health reasons, I can't jump with my daughter, but my husband was.
Speaker 16
They both had a great time, and so did the other kids that were there. But just like previous years, I'm the one behind the camera.
I take all the pictures every year, and I'm not in any of them.
Speaker 16 I've spoken to my husband about my feelings before, but all I get are empty promises of how he will do better.
Speaker 16 Last year, we rented a room at the local conference center for her party, and I asked my grandmother to take pictures of me and my husband holding our child while we sang happy birthday and cut the cake.
Speaker 16
Instead of pictures, she took a video. Once again, no pictures of me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I like printing pictures for photo albums, and I can't exactly print off a video.
Speaker 16 So another year of no pictures. After yesterday's party, we decided to take her gifts home rather than open them at the party.
Speaker 16 The kids had a very limited time at the park, so rather than spend 20 minutes opening presents, we figured it would be better to take them home and open them there so the kids had more time to play.
Speaker 16 Even while opening presents, I was behind the camera. My husband didn't think once that I should be in any of them.
Speaker 16 By the end of the day, I was very upset, and I'll give my husband credit for knowing where I am. But then again, I wasn't really hiding it.
Speaker 16
I went to say goodnight to my daughter because I had to be up early the next day. He followed me to talk to me.
He said, what's wrong? What did I do?
Speaker 16 I just looked at him and said, it's what you didn't do for the third year in a row.
Speaker 16
I went to the bedroom and he didn't follow me. I'm just done.
I'm so sick of his empty promises of doing better.
Speaker 16 Besides little things like this, he's a good husband and an amazing father, but it genuinely feels like there are times when he doesn't think about me at all.
Speaker 16 And if anyone thinks, well, why don't you just ask him to take pictures? I shouldn't have to. I'd like to think that my husband would want pictures of me and our child together.
Speaker 16 The last picture I remember him taking of me and our daughter was in a restaurant on my 29th birthday, and I asked him to take it. I'm so tired of this.
Speaker 16 At any time, I could get sick or be in an accident and die, and the only pictures my daughter will have of me will be selfies I've taken, none of me on her birthdays or even holidays.
Speaker 16 Because of our crazy schedules, I won't see my husband again until next Sunday, unless he stays up all night to see me in the AM, which he sometimes does.
Speaker 16 Part of me wants to text him and lay it all out again, but the majority of my thoughts is to just give up on it. I told my husband it's the third year in a row, but it's probably been more than that.
Speaker 16
I don't recall seeing any pictures of me and her on her birthday or me even being in the background. I'm just so hurt and tired of it.
Thanks for reading.
Speaker 16 I'm like, okay. Pull yourself together.
Speaker 16 What?
Speaker 16 Yeah.
Speaker 16 I think I've got it.
Speaker 16 I think
Speaker 16
I see a lot of elements of this because clearly it hurts her. She tells him after the fact every birthday of like, can you get photos of me? And he's like, oh yeah, for sure.
Next year.
Speaker 16 365 days from now.
Speaker 16
And then he doesn't. And it just sounds like he's a little like.
just not the type to think about it. But I also understand she's hurt that she's like, I don't want to have to ask.
Speaker 16 Like, I want you to care for me and take photos of me because you know how important this is to me, but you're not doing it.
Speaker 16 However, out of all this, she's talking about like, it seems like in her quest to prove a point to him that she's correct and she's not getting photos with her daughter on her birthday.
Speaker 16
And that matters to her so much. It sounds like she's giving up a little quickly.
Like the grandma took a video. It's like, okay, you got a video.
Speaker 16 She could have just handed the phone back and been like, can you also get some photos? Right.
Speaker 16
This one I think about a lot because in my family, my mom loves photos and the majority of my family otherwise, we just don't take photos. Yeah, right.
Like I'm really bad with taking photos.
Speaker 16
My brothers are too. Like, we just don't think about it.
But my mom is just like, okay, we're getting a photo. First thing we're doing when we all get together on Sunday, we're getting a photo.
Yeah.
Speaker 16 And it's like, all right, okay, we'll get a photo.
Speaker 16
All right, we're doing it. Like, she, it matters to her.
And like, we know that. So we're going to do that.
And
Speaker 17 that part of it just like.
Speaker 17 truly cracks me up that she finally was like okay grandma like here you take the photo and then grandma hands it back and she goes it's a video i do think she's doing a little bit of the like martyrdom here where she's she's like, well, I guess I just won't be in any photos.
Speaker 16
It's like, hey, like, I understand, it sucks. I'm not disregarding that your husband should be taking photos of you and your daughter.
He needs to realize it's important to you.
Speaker 16
And it should also be important to him to have photos of you. Like, I agree with that.
But don't, but giving up and being like, well, I guess there just won't be any photos of me when I die.
Speaker 16 It's like, okay, well, that sucks for you too. Like,
Speaker 16 don't self-sacrifice because your husband's forgetting this.
Speaker 17 Yeah,
Speaker 17 it's clear to me that there is a hypersensitivity toward her taking photos.
Speaker 17 And we don't know where that comes from, but she's clearly finding great value and importance in this. And for that, I understand.
Speaker 16 And I feel like the more she, she's in a prison of her own making, like the more she pours into this idea, she's like purposely making it harder.
Speaker 16 She's like looking at all the ways that he will mess up.
Speaker 16 She's looking for ways that he's going to fail. Well, if you start filtering the world in how is this going to happen, it's going to start happening the way you want it to happen.
Speaker 16 If I'm looking for all the ways, how is he really doing well? How is he being a really good husband?
Speaker 16 If she filters through that, she's going to start seeing all the ways that he's coming through for her and thinking about her.
Speaker 17 And it feels like she even like wrote some of that, right? Like she talked about him like staying up all night to see her like he sometimes does. I'm like, that's incredible.
Speaker 16 There's stories where it's like, it's not about that. I can tell your husband or the wife is doing a bunch of disrespect across the board.
Speaker 16
And here's an instance where it's the tipping point. This doesn't read like that.
This reads like they are in a marriage that they don't want to get out of.
Speaker 16 It's this one thing that she is just so mad about.
Speaker 17 100%.
Speaker 16 Because otherwise, she's not saying he sucks all the time. She's like, this one thing I want him to do.
Speaker 17 But I think I can be empathetic toward the idea that it is so crucial to her.
Speaker 16 Totally.
Speaker 17 Like, like, it's kind of,
Speaker 17
it seems silly to be like, you know, I want him to just want photos of us. Like, you know, you can't really control people like that.
And you can't be like, well, why don't you want that?
Speaker 17
But what you can do is communicate and be like, this is really important to me. Right.
And it is important that he learns that, as you were saying.
Speaker 16 Yeah, I think
Speaker 16 I think how she's going about this is like not the right way.
Speaker 16 You know, it's like, okay, get the photos. You want these photos, get them.
Speaker 16 If you have to do it yourself, you have to do it yourself. And then after the fact, though, tell him, be like, it really hurts me when you don't
Speaker 16 take photos.
Speaker 16
Communicate that. I just feel like she's not being vigilant enough about getting the photos in the first place.
Just tell him. I know.
Frank.
Speaker 16 And it's like, can you come take a photo of me and our daughter? And unfortunately, the way this is written, the way she's like talking about this, it makes me wonder how she's communicating this.
Speaker 16 Yeah.
Speaker 16 Is it communicating? And I mean, you do have to be very straightforward with people
Speaker 16 depending on the person, but you have to go and go, hey, it would mean so much to me if you take photos with me, of me without me asking.
Speaker 16
It hurts me when you don't take photos because it makes me feel invisible. It makes me feel like you're not thinking about me.
Instead of,
Speaker 16
it could be like delivered as an, wow, it really sucks. I guess I don't have any photos of myself this year.
Right. Again.
Speaker 17 Rooted in that sort of
Speaker 17 bitterness and resentment of not having the photos.
Speaker 16
Because some people just do not pick up on things. Because she might say that and he goes, oh, that sucks.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'll make sure next year I get some photos.
Speaker 17 And it's a cool thing.
Speaker 16
Next year rolls around. He's just at the trampoline place, not thinking.
Right.
Speaker 16 He's jumping on trampolines. Like,
Speaker 16 I think this is also like, it brings up like love languages and stuff. And clearly, like, I think acts of service matter to her.
Speaker 16 And they may not matter, like, they may not be something he thinks about with him. My love language is photos.
Speaker 16 I want want photos.
Speaker 16 I did the test. My love language is selfies.
Speaker 17 No, not the selfies. Those aren't enough.
Speaker 16
She has those. But, you know, he's staying up all night.
She says he stays up all night sometimes to see me. Yeah.
And it's like, so quality time might matter to him.
Speaker 16
And like I said, she's not writing this like, I hate my husband. He sucks.
Yeah. It's this one thing.
Yeah. Comments on this.
Speaker 16 Your feelings are valid, but you kind of cut off your nose to spite your face here. You should have insisted on some photos.
Speaker 16 Sure, you should not have to ask, but the end result is no photos and you can't take that back.
Speaker 16 Someone else said, yeah, it truly sucks to have to outright ask your partner to do something that you are already doing for them, but I've discussed this with my therapist before and for things like this, sometimes the only way to actually get what you want is to be direct.
Speaker 16 If it was me, I'd stop my SO during the party, hand him my phone, and directly tell him to take some photos of me and my child together.
Speaker 16 I totally get OP's frustration, but it's better she be direct and ask than miss out on any more photos with her child because her husband doesn't take the initiative.
Speaker 16 Someone else said, This absolutely sucks, and your husband needs to be better. I will suggest taking screenshots from the video of you and your daughter and printing them out.
Speaker 16
A lot of times, videos actually look better photo-wise. I hope your husband starts respecting you more.
OP said, Thank you. I'll try to do that later.
Speaker 16 Hopefully, the quality is good enough for me to get a couple of pictures.
Speaker 17 I don't know about this
Speaker 16
quality beauty. The video is better.
The video picture. I think grandma got on there and caught me too.
We don't know what grandma's missing.
Speaker 16 She was filming her. It was in 0.5, too.
Speaker 16 There's the element, too, of like the possible jealousy of the daughter really seemed to be a daddy's girl and waiting to spend time with the daughter. No, I forgot about the theme.
Speaker 16 I just feel like I understand.
Speaker 16 I forgot about the theme, too.
Speaker 17
I forgot it was jealousy. So you're absolutely right.
Good one, Shane. Hey, that's fine.
Speaker 16
There's also probably jealousy there. Yeah, yeah.
But I mean, well, what she's also is jealous of just, there's all these photos and I'm not in the photos. But
Speaker 16 I understand what she wants, and I've done it before where it's like, yeah, you screw yourself over in the hopes that it's like, well, they're going to learn their lesson eventually.
Speaker 16 They're going to go, oh man, we don't have any photos of you. And I'll be like, yeah.
Speaker 16
Because you never took them. Right.
And now you learned your lesson. It's like, yeah, cool.
Well, you're not in any photos in the process of this too.
Speaker 17 Yes.
Speaker 17 It's like you think you're going to have this huge impact because of your feelings.
Speaker 17 It's like when you're mad at someone and you just like kind of shut down, you're like, you don't actually deserve my personality anymore. And it's like, you're just doing that to yourself.
Speaker 17 And now you're just upset. And everyone else is kind of like, what's going on with you?
Speaker 16 Right.
Speaker 17 Yeah.
Speaker 16 Update.
Speaker 16 Before I dive into the update, there are some comments that were made that I want to address.
Speaker 16 Many pointed out that my husband is probably just someone who wants to live in the moment and I 100% agree.
Speaker 16 The biggest reason I was hurt was because of how many times I have spoken to him about my feelings and his constant promises to do better.
Speaker 16 However, like many said, he probably just doesn't think about it at the time. I don't think he does it on purpose or doesn't do it out of spite.
Speaker 16 He's He's probably having too much fun with our daughter and forgets, and I shouldn't have let it get to me too much.
Speaker 16 I still think I shouldn't have to ask, but we clearly have different views when it comes to special occasions. He wants to live in the moment, and I want to preserve the moments.
Speaker 16 With that said, please know that I don't constantly have a camera in my hand. I just use my phone to snap pictures every so often.
Speaker 16
I put the phone down so I can enjoy my daughter's parties and family gatherings too. I just wanted him to do the same for me on occasion.
Many have said to just take selfies of me and her, and I do.
Speaker 16 I take a lot of them. I would just like pictures others have taken as well or even just pictures of me there where I'm not necessarily posing.
Speaker 16
Just pictures of me playing with her or hanging out at the party with family and friends. Many suggested hiring a photographer.
That's what I was about to say. I was like, why aren't we just hiring?
Speaker 16
But that's not something we can really afford, but hopefully with our talk, we won't even need to consider it. Anyway, on to the update.
My husband and I spoke last night.
Speaker 16 When I don't have work the next day, I stay up late so I can spend some time with him, and I wanted us to finally talk. When he came home, we sat down.
Speaker 16 He says he still didn't fully understand what he did wrong, and I told him again how I wasn't in any pictures and how I have talked to him about this many times.
Speaker 16 I did say that I understand he was someone who lives more in the moment, but I just wanted to have proof that I was there too.
Speaker 16 That I was present at her parties and for her to have memories of me there. Our daughter is only five and she won't remember her parties or holidays from when she was younger.
Speaker 16 As she gets older, I know she will know I was there, but I also want her to see me in her younger years as she grows up. There were some tears and we apologized to each other.
Speaker 16
He promised again to do better, but I'm not going to lie, I'll believe it when I see it. As he said that before, lol.
And I promise to be more understanding of his values.
Speaker 16 Going forward, I'll ask family and friends to help take pictures so there are also more photos to save and not just mine.
Speaker 16 And yes, as many said, there will be times where I just flat out ask him to take pictures.
Speaker 16 Thank you again to everyone who commented on my last post.
Speaker 16 I appreciate the support and also the comments that made some great points about how each of us have different perspectives and I need to be more understanding of his values and not just mine.
Speaker 16 Wonderful.
Speaker 17
I think that's great. That was perfect.
I truly,
Speaker 17 I think she is valid
Speaker 17
in what she's feeling. And I just think that it's different priorities.
I'm so glad that they had that conversation. That sounds like a really heartfelt and productive moment for them.
Speaker 16 Yeah, they talked. And I will say about the hiring a photographer.
Speaker 16 Like, just hand the phone to, can you help me for two minutes? Can you take a couple candid photos?
Speaker 17 And grandma didn't.
Speaker 16
No, no, no, no. Why are you giving it to grandma? Don't give the phone to grandma.
She's like, I got it. I don't know what you're, if you need photos taken, do not hand it to an old person.
Ever.
Speaker 16
Are you doing it? No, literally, because then they go, it's a video. You're truly better off handing it to a five-year-old.
Like, hand it to anyone but the old lady. Right.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
Speaker 17 Crazy.
Speaker 16 Even though you could also get some really funny photos and content out of that.
Speaker 17 There's plenty of stuff.
Speaker 16
If you want some genuinely good photos, hand it to a younger person. Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 17 Or the timer feature. Anybody?
Speaker 16
Boom. But she didn't want selfies.
She wanted unposted.
Speaker 16 She wanted candids.
Speaker 17
No, no, no, no. Timers aren't selfies, Shane.
Let me teach you right here. You got to set it up and you do the three seconds or the 10 seconds.
Speaker 16 I know, but it's still a posed picture. She wants people taking photos of her while she's unaware.
Speaker 16 Oh. That's what candid is.
Speaker 17 Oh, that's what she wants.
Speaker 16 She said that in there. Like,
Speaker 16 I don't want just posed. I want some.
Speaker 17 She wants it happening while she's not.
Speaker 17 Gotcha, gotcha.
Speaker 16
And I get that because those are like genuine moments. Candidates are so good.
Craig are great. I definitely feel bad because Courtney is someone who takes tons of like candid photos.
Speaker 16
She's very good about it. And I'm horrible about it.
I don't think about pulling out my phone to take photos.
Speaker 16
And I feel really bad about it. So sometimes when I do, I'm like, oh, like, I feel bad she doesn't have as many.
Because
Speaker 16
she takes tons of candid photos of me. I feel like the majority of photos of me are on Courtney's phone.
Right. Because I don't even take photos of myself ever.
Speaker 15 Okay, so.
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Speaker 16
Back to the show. Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole.
Am I the Asshole for calling my sister a jealous hag because she got judgy over my husband making me an Easter basket?
Speaker 16 I believe as of this airing, Easter is tomorrow.
Speaker 16 So he has not risen.
Speaker 16 He has not rashed yet.
Speaker 16 He has not.
Speaker 16 My husband and I do Easter baskets for one another, and this year he gave me mine early since I'll be gone.
Speaker 16 In the basket was the usual dark chocolate bunny, starburst jelly beans, and then some swifty stuff from Etsy, a fidget toy.
Speaker 16
And really surprisingly, he got me three full bottles of perfume that were on my wish list. Oh my gosh.
Cutie. Hundred Silent Ways, Bianco Latte, and Oriana.
I was shocked because that's a big spend.
Speaker 16 I was over the moon and took a pic and posted it to my Insta story. The next day, my sister came over.
Speaker 16 I'd left my basket on the table and she poked through it and took some jelly beans and then made a comment asking me if my husband had stepped out on me or something and was trying to make it up to me.
Speaker 16 I was like, no, of course not. Why would she say that?
Speaker 16 She asked why he'd go all out like this then, and how it must be nice to have all this extra money to spend when everyone around us is struggling.
Speaker 16 Oh, it must be nice to have such a picture-perfect marriage. I was really taken aback and asked her what her issue is.
Speaker 16 She was like, Most women I know can't even get their husbands to fill a Christmas stocking for them, and you're out here bragging about yours and shoving it in everyone's faces.
Speaker 16
I'll be lucky if I get a card on my birthday. I told her to stop blaming me because she chose to marry a thoughtless man.
Oh no.
Speaker 16 That's an overstep.
Speaker 16 That she had the choice to marry someone who did nice things for her and she chose to marry a man who doesn't help around the house, buy her flowers, et cetera, and not be a pissy, jealous hag because she chose to settle for less.
Speaker 16 Oh no.
Speaker 17 Oh yes.
Speaker 16 This set her off and she started arguing with me more, telling me that I'm fucked up for calling her a jealous hag when there's nothing to be jealous of.
Speaker 16 More like embarrassed that it's 2024 and I'm acting like life is a rom-com. That the the fact that I even listened to Taylor Swift is proof that I need to grow up.
Speaker 16 I told her to just get out and double down on her being a pissy, jealous hag. Now that I'm on the other side of the country for work, I feel like maybe I was over the top in calling her a jealous hag.
Speaker 16 You're just jealous is the most annoying comeback in the world, and I used it on my own sister.
Speaker 16 She also typically texts me throughout her day, and she hasn't sent me anything since then, which means she is definitely still pissed. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 17 No, she's a jealous hag.
Speaker 16 You didn't need hag. You didn't need hag, but sorry.
Speaker 17 She was being a jealous hag.
Speaker 16 She was being jealous. I didn't get hag.
Speaker 17 I was getting pissy, though.
Speaker 16 Hags can be extremely powerful. Yes.
Speaker 16
They're curses. They're curses.
They can be very powerful. They're a formidable opponent.
Speaker 17 It was a compliment.
Speaker 16 I meant it as a compliment.
Speaker 16 I was trying to say something nice. I meant that you're cursed.
Speaker 16
That's such a wild statement. Like, to see a really kind gift would be like, so did he like cheat on you? Yeah, what? Right.
Damn. Right.
Speaker 16 And also, what if life was a rom-com?
Speaker 17 Right. And sorry, was life a rom-com and now it's not because it's 2024? What is that?
Speaker 16 Yeah.
Speaker 16 I'm not going to, I'm not saying she's wrong or not, but if someone said something of that, especially like a brother or sister, if they said all of that shit of that nature, I think my response would be like, is everything okay?
Speaker 16 Right. Like, did your husband cheat on you? Like, whoa,
Speaker 16 I'm feeling some projection here.
Speaker 16 Well,
Speaker 17 she can't even get a birthday card is what she said.
Speaker 16 So clearly she's unhappy.
Speaker 17
Oh, damn. She's 100% projecting.
And yes, maybe not a hag, but 100% jealous.
Speaker 16
It's, yeah, I mean, she is being jealous, right? Right. Or envious.
Yes.
Speaker 16
Absolutely in this situation. And she's saying really mean things.
100%
Speaker 16 out of thin air, where it's not necessary at all.
Speaker 16
I also, I can understand the hag if this is a series of a pattern. Okay.
If she's probably been dealing with this for this is her sister. Yeah.
They text all day, every day, she's saying. Yeah, right.
Speaker 16 This has probably been behavior that's been going on for a long time. Yeah.
Speaker 16
Then that happens. My.
Did she say it was older or younger? I'm assuming older because she's a hag. Yes.
Oh, I was assuming younger
Speaker 17 because she was acting like a hag.
Speaker 16 She's acting like a hag.
Speaker 16 I don't actually know. It doesn't sense.
Speaker 16 But
Speaker 16
just with the power dynamic, I guess it goes either way, too. I guess my thought always is with like with siblings.
Especially sisters.
Speaker 16 Sisters is I'm like, okay, I'm not, it doesn't matter necessarily to me if you're an asshole or not. It's just like, what do you want to happen? Because by calling your sister a hag,
Speaker 16 it can't just end there. You gotta, if this is someone, if you're planning on cutting her out of your life, you can say whatever you want to her.
Speaker 16 But if you guys are gonna maintain a relationship for the rest of your life, like you're gonna have to resolve every argument and everything you say to each other.
Speaker 16 So like, are you trying to make the situation more intense or are you trying to like,
Speaker 16 that's why I'm not saying she's wrong for calling her a hag as much as I'm like, eventually do you want your sister to not be this way to you.
Speaker 16 So I like call her out on that behavior. Calling her out on her behavior is totally warranted, but also being like, why are you
Speaker 16 saying these things?
Speaker 17 It certainly seems like a like a quick response, right?
Speaker 17
She was obviously just reacting out of anger. Of course.
Because clearly her sister threw the first punch, so to speak. She immediately saw this basket.
Speaker 17 What I'm getting from it is that she was like, oh my gosh, like, I wish my husband would do something like this. Like, he would never.
Speaker 17 And it's sort of like, well, I need to protect myself and convince myself that this isn't what I want by being like, ew, who would want this? Yeah.
Speaker 17 And bring her sister down, which affected her sister, obviously, and made her be like,
Speaker 17 why aren't you supporting me, you pissy jealous hag? And jumped in there and kind of attacked her like that. And clearly, it seems like she's not a bad person.
Speaker 17 She's like feeling regret for saying that stuff.
Speaker 16 She's guilty.
Speaker 17
Of course. But she was being jealous.
And I think she did deserve to be called out on that front.
Speaker 16
Absolutely. Definitely.
Absolutely. I do think in these situations, when someone's, acting irrationally or saying really jealous things or really like cruel or just like out-of-pocket pocket stuff.
Speaker 16 I do think questions disarm the situation so much better.
Speaker 16 And I think you can still get that satisfaction of kind of like, if you want to dunk on them, you can still get it by just throwing a question back at them.
Speaker 16 It's just like, sometimes it's as simple as like, why would you say something like that? That's brilliant. And then it's just like, well, I don't know men,
Speaker 16 I can't get my husband to do this. It's like,
Speaker 16 why do you think that is? Like, why, like, just if you ask these questions, she's going to have to admit, she's already kind of admitting her situation sucks.
Speaker 16 But the verdict was not the asshole.
Speaker 16 Comments, not the asshole for calling her out on her jealousy as she was the one who made an issue where one didn't exist and then attacked you by trying to say that your taste in music made you immature.
Speaker 16 Different people have different budgets and therefore different lifestyles. That's just the way things are.
Speaker 16 Where you are kind of the asshole is when you commented on her relationship with her husband.
Speaker 16 Is the guy truly thoughtless or did you just irrationally lash out because your sister was being aggressive?
Speaker 16
If she and her husband can't afford lavish gifts, that doesn't mean that what they do get is any less meaningful. That's also true.
She was also like, oh, it's not my fault.
Speaker 16
You married a thoughtless man. Which was fine.
Like throwing it. It would look, if I'm watching Bridgerton, I'm like, hell yeah.
Speaker 17 You're like, yeah, you wait.
Speaker 16 I feel like asking questions, I feel like she was already saying that.
Speaker 16
Like, she's offended by you saying, like, confirming what she was already saying. It's like, I can't get my husband to do this.
It's like, well, you married a thoughtless guy. It's like, how dare you?
Speaker 16
Right. Right.
That's what you just said. Yeah.
But that is literally what you just said.
Speaker 17 That is a fair argument, though, that, like, that's just assuming, like, just because he's not giving you gifts doesn't mean that he's a bad husband.
Speaker 17 Like, there's clearly, hopefully, other qualities that are redeemable.
Speaker 16 Of course. And it goes back to love languages, too.
Speaker 16 OP responded to that saying, hi, I wanted to respond to this because I want to make it clear that I don't say these things because he isn't spending tons of money on lavish gifts for her.
Speaker 16
I get why there's hesitance over me naming the perfumes, but I thought it would be useful context. I hope my explanation helps.
It's not about the money, but about the effort and attention.
Speaker 16 My sister's husband does not pay attention to what she likes or dislikes in terms of gifts.
Speaker 16 If he even remembers to get her things, he gives her very generic things that he probably finds on lists of 30 gifts for wives, and it's often stuff she doesn't like.
Speaker 16 She has complained about it for years, and nothing ever changes because, at his core, he doesn't care.
Speaker 16 She will go out of her way to make stockings for him and the kids, but she doesn't get that effort returned. Aww.
Speaker 17 She heard us and said, No, he sucks.
Speaker 16
No, I'm sorry. He's a piece of shit.
Yeah.
Speaker 16
Someone else asked, Easter baskets for adults? Never heard of it. No shade.
OP says, I don't think it's that common, but my mom always did it for my dad, and they have a really good and fun marriage.
Speaker 16 It's always been just really silly stuff dressed up in the old baskets we have.
Speaker 16 One year, my mom didn't realize when Easter was and ended up giving my dad stuff from the pantry he forgot about, and he was over the moon because he didn't know we had beef jerky left. LOL.
Speaker 17 That's so sweet.
Speaker 16 That's very sweet.
Speaker 17 Yeah. Please say update.
Speaker 16 No update.
Speaker 16 I don't think there's much. There's not much to update.
Speaker 17 Well, I want to know if the sister's like, bitch,
Speaker 16 coming back, you know? The sister needs to realize the villain here is her husband.
Speaker 17 That's juicy.
Speaker 16
That's juicy. This is the case.
That's the juices.
Speaker 16 The sister's getting mad at OP, but the real problem is her husband is a piece of shit.
Speaker 16 Is he a piece of shit? That's what the OP was just like,
Speaker 16 he's not really thinking about her, like, at all.
Speaker 17 Well, because he's the Easter bunny. He has Easter to think about.
Speaker 16 There you go. He's got a bunch of eggs to deliver up in that biscuit bet you didn't think about that
Speaker 16 okay our next story comes from relationship advice i a 28 year old man am considering leaving my girlfriend who's 29 after she catfished me as a prank
Speaker 16 oh oh
Speaker 16
okay i'm i'm kind of in i'm I'm very much in. Yeah, I know.
Okay, so OP's girlfriend catfished him as a prank. Yeah.
Me and my girlfriend have been together for two years.
Speaker 16 I've always thought she was very sweet and kind, and I really appreciate how much she loves me. And while she sometimes got a little jealous, I didn't think it was a big deal.
Speaker 16 Hell, maybe I even enjoyed being doted on like that. It made me feel really attractive, which I never really felt I was.
Speaker 16 Recently, we attended a work event organized by my company, and we met one of my coworkers there.
Speaker 16 She works at a different branch, and we hardly ever talk outside of work emails and calls, but we get along well enough. This event was my girlfriend's first and only time meeting this coworker.
Speaker 16 On the way back from the event and the following day, my girlfriend was acting a little weird.
Speaker 16 She kept asking me about a work wife and asking if I thought that co-worker was pretty and other stuff about her. I knew my girlfriend could get kind of jealous, and I did my best to calm her down.
Speaker 16
No, that woman isn't my work wife. I don't follow her on any socials.
I don't even have her personal phone number.
Speaker 16 I don't think she's more beautiful than my girlfriend, and I am happy with my girlfriend, etc. She seemed to relax and things got back to normal.
Speaker 16
A few weeks later, out of nowhere, I got a follow-up request on IG. IG.
My account is private, from my coworker. I approved and followed back.
Her account is also private.
Speaker 16 That account was almost nothing but a few pictures of her in swimsuits, uploaded very recently. It didn't look like anything overtly sexy, just normal vacation pics.
Speaker 16
But there was nothing but vacation pics. It seemed weird, but I didn't really care.
Then a few days later, she DM'd me on IG.
Speaker 16 It was just small talk and I replied, but it wasn't flirty or anything, in my opinion. She kept reaching out every few days and eventually it did seem to get kind of flirty.
Speaker 16 I told her this felt inappropriate and I was in a relationship and I'd appreciate if we kept things professional, which she seemed okay with.
Speaker 16 My girlfriend seemed extra affectionate the days after that and while I didn't suspect anything at the time, you can all probably see exactly where this is going.
Speaker 16
Still, at the time I was happy and my girlfriend even seemed to be better regarding her jealousy. But then last week, I got a follow recommendation on my IG.
It was my coworker's account.
Speaker 16 This one wasn't private and was just a normal IG account and looking through it, that was where those swimsuit pics came from.
Speaker 16 Here they were, just a part of her normal IG account which contained mostly normal pics and not just swimsuit ones. Then I put two and two together.
Speaker 16 Before confronting my girlfriend, I talked to that coworker at work and asked for her IG account and she gave me her normal one, which I followed.
Speaker 16 And indeed, she gave no indication that we ever interacted on IG before. So it became clear I was being catfished.
Speaker 16 I confronted my girlfriend then and at first when I was trying to be subtle she denied everything outright.
Speaker 16 Then she shifted to gaslighting me about it and saying it was just a prank or that it was a test or that because she was cheated on before she just needed to know that she could trust me.
Speaker 16 I told her that her being able to trust me was great, but how am I supposed to trust her now?
Speaker 16 She said that made no sense and kept deflecting no matter how I tried to explain, going so far as to question how I even knew it was her if I wasn't cheating on her with my coworker.
Speaker 16 I told her that this was unfair and manipulative and that I needed some time and went home. She's been texting and calling since, saying that I'm ruining a great relationship over nothing.
Speaker 16 I'm overreacting, and that when I finally realize how much she loves me, it might be too late. And it's not fair for me to throw everything we built over some skank.
Speaker 16 But that just feels incredibly manipulative to me, and like she doesn't get what she did wrong at all. So I'm conflicted between wanting to just cut and run and giving it another go.
Speaker 16 After all, we've been happy together for two years, but also, can trust be rebuilt after something like this?
Speaker 17 Whew!
Speaker 17 A second jealous head.
Speaker 16 Shane.
Speaker 16 I'm like, I'm like,
Speaker 16 okay.
Speaker 16 All right. Pulling something out?
Speaker 16 Okay. Oh, and you got, oh,
Speaker 16
throwing it out of the bottom. Taking it in the trash, bitch.
Wow.
Speaker 16 Got to get in the cabinet, get the new.
Speaker 17 Yeah.
Speaker 16 The new one? Yeah.
Speaker 16
Put the co-worker in there. Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 16 Yeah.
Speaker 17 Unfortunately, this is a little obvious.
Speaker 16 Aw,
Speaker 16 fuck off.
Speaker 16 She's got to go.
Speaker 17
Unhinged behavior. Yes.
And just it continued to get worse. The gaslighting, the being like, well, it was a test.
It was a prank. I actually just needed to make sure because I'd been cheated on.
Speaker 16
You're going to miss me. I'm the best thing that's ever going to come to you.
Bye. I'm going to lie to you.
I'm going to test you without you knowing. I'm going to pretend to be people I'm not.
Speaker 16 I'm going to make your relationship with your coworker possibly weird.
Speaker 17 Yes. And just, let's like think about that for a second of like creating an Instagram account for someone else, going on their profile, finding like the scandalous swimsuit pictures.
Speaker 16 Swimsuit photos.
Speaker 17 And just like, and then the fall, and then the every few days, the small talk until it eventually gets flirty.
Speaker 17 Do you have a job?
Speaker 16 Yeah.
Speaker 16 Or a hobby?
Speaker 17 Or anything.
Speaker 16
It's a whole lot. It's something to do, girl.
Yeah. It'd be like effort.
It would be like, okay, the trust is broken, the lying, all this stuff.
Speaker 16
But at the end of the day, also, it's like, you're also kind of a loser. Yes.
Right. And I have the ick because you're a loser.
Big ick. Big ick because you're crazy town.
Speaker 16 And it's like, what was best case scenario? Like, you catch it. Or I guess she, that was best case scenario is that she doesn't.
Speaker 16 Yeah.
Speaker 16 Yeah.
Speaker 16
I mean, but I've said it before, like, to me, like the cheating, the worst part of cheating is like the lying. Yeah.
And by catfishing him, like, she kind of.
Speaker 16
I'm like, it's not much different in a way. Like, right.
Also, it's such an invasion. She knows how to flirt with him.
She's his partner. She knows exactly what to say.
She already did it once.
Speaker 16
It's awful. That is so awful.
That is twisted. It's really twisted.
Speaker 17 The logic of putting all that together and just thinking, I'm not doing anything wrong because I'm about to catch him doing something wrong.
Speaker 17 Possibly.
Speaker 16 Yeah, possibly. It's also the thing of she's like, well, I trust you now.
Speaker 16
I don't believe this is where this behavior ends. Dude, if you keep dating her, she's going gonna do this again.
Yeah, right. Those feelings aren't just gone forever.
Speaker 16
She has trust issues, and that's that's a thing she's got to deal with. She has to reckon with that herself.
Yes, it's not going to be solved in this kind of manner. Right.
Speaker 16 The next woman he meets, she's going to have to do this again. He's going to get follow requests on IG every year.
Speaker 17
Well, that, that, too. Now she has, she's given, she's distributed her trust issues.
Now, this man also is going to have to face some of that, you know? Oh, my God.
Speaker 16
No, and like her calling the coworker a skank, it's like, okay, whoa, you don't even know. Like this lady didn't do anything.
Just breathed. Truly did nothing.
Speaker 17 But be kind.
Speaker 16 That's it.
Speaker 16
And it's like, it's not even someone he's like close with. It's just someone.
They didn't even follow each other on Instagram. Literally don't, he's like, I don't even really know this person.
Speaker 16 And it's like, okay, so God forbid you actually.
Speaker 16
are friendly with someone. God forbid you actually like someone you work with.
And as a friend, he's not going to be able to associate with any women like ever. Ever.
With this girlfriend.
Speaker 17 Skank is way worse than hag, though.
Speaker 16 You think so? Oh, I would rather be called a skank than a hag.
Speaker 17
Really? Yeah, absolutely. A hag, I'd just be like, all right, move on.
A skank
Speaker 17 can be hobbled, disrespected me. Well, for sure.
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Speaker 18 Someone forgot they ordered oysters for the table.
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Speaker 16 Okay.
Speaker 16 Comments. I couldn't forgive someone after they breached my trust like this.
Speaker 16 The fact that she did this with no care for the consequences too, you could have potentially reported your colleague to HR shows incredibly poor judgment as well as all the obvious other problems with this.
Speaker 16 This is likely not the only unhinged thing she's done in your relationship, and it won't be the last. OP said, I don't think she ever did anything on this level before, but obviously there were signs.
Speaker 16 I just didn't really want to see it because I was never regarded as particularly attractive. And having someone be this into me just felt really nice.
Speaker 16
But I guess a lot of this is my own issues I need to work through. And this relationship is clearly not as great as I may have thought.
Yeah.
Speaker 16 That's really true.
Speaker 17
He said that. He said that up there, that like she had shown signs of jealousy, but he was like, well, I'm wanted.
And that's valid. That's fair.
Speaker 16 Valid.
Speaker 17 But it just could orchestrate into something bigger and messier.
Speaker 16 Someone else said, never stay with anyone who tests you. They want you to fail the test to prove their doubts are genuine.
Speaker 16 Every time you pass, they'll be loving for a bit until another doubt enters their head and they come up with another test for you to pass. It's no way to live your life.
Speaker 16 No trust equals no relationship. OP said, oh my God, this is it.
Speaker 16 I didn't even realize how much of a test some of the previous stuff had been, like asking my opinion on other women or getting my opinion on characters cheating on TV. There was just always something.
Speaker 16
Someone said, you guys are way too old for this high school behavior. I'd end it.
OP said, I completely agree. This just doesn't sit right with me at all.
Like this weird mind game bullshit.
Speaker 16 That's not how you treat a person you supposedly love, right? I think I might have to end it. I just needed the push.
Speaker 16 Yeah.
Speaker 16
There's no update because that was this week as of recording it. Oh my God.
That doesn't feel right. Yeah.
Speaker 16 But this type of stuff is super common.
Speaker 15 Yeah.
Speaker 16 I hear about this all the the time
Speaker 16 And I've also been in situations in my past where I understand like the feeling of insecurity and and wanting to like be like
Speaker 16 These doubts I have in my head. How do I prove that they're right? But it's like if to me if you don't trust your partner that is such a deep issue.
Speaker 16 I've been also on Instagram right now how you can see the light things that people like that you follow. You know what I mean?
Speaker 16 It's kind of changing the game for me a little bit because there's some boys that I'd be liking and they're like, I'm like looking at what they're engaging with and liking, and it's some weird shit
Speaker 16 and it's some questionable shit. And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 16 oh, no, yeah, oh no, yeah. See, I feel like there's like some racy jokes, and I'm like, you liked this?
Speaker 16 You thought this was funny? Okay, now
Speaker 16 when you see, like, when you're on reels, then it shows you, like, what are your friends liking? I'll like click on it sometimes.
Speaker 17 Yeah.
Speaker 16 And girl.
Speaker 16 What if you guys looked over and I was suddenly sweating and I was like, you you can't see?
Speaker 16 They could do that. So you could do that.
Speaker 17 We see that you're liking your edits.
Speaker 16 We can see
Speaker 16 it. Hands on Shane Talk Thirst Trap.
Speaker 16 And you can.
Speaker 16 Is that worse than me liking it? You created the account, you've created the edit, and then you go to another.
Speaker 16
Courtney's like, I think I'm jealous of you. Or it's like Spencer Thirst Traps.
So
Speaker 16 Courtney would be like, I get it. That's funny.
Speaker 17 Courtney's like, I made that one actually.
Speaker 16 I actually make those.
Speaker 16 It's good. It's good.
Speaker 17
Yeah, it's good. Yeah.
And you fell for the turn.
Speaker 16 She's like, you didn't like my Spencer first trap.
Speaker 16 All right.
Speaker 16 Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole, and it ended up on, Am I the Devil? Whoa, it's going to be good.
Speaker 16 Yeah.
Speaker 16 Am I the Asshole for my reaction to my sister-in-law's nickname for my husband?
Speaker 17 No. Sister-in-law?
Speaker 16 Her husband's sister has a nickname for him.
Speaker 17
OP's husband has a sister, and that sister is calling her brother, who's the OP's husband, a nickname. Yes.
I'm with you.
Speaker 16 Okay.
Speaker 16 The people involved, me, a 27-year-old woman, my husband, Connor, 27-year-old man, and his sister, Sophie, a 30-year-old woman, fake names.
Speaker 16 I feel uncomfortable with the nickname my sister-in-law calls my husband. All right, what do we think the nickname is?
Speaker 17 Pookie.
Speaker 16 Pookie?
Speaker 16 That'd be rough.
Speaker 16 Gingy.
Speaker 16
Oh. Maybe he's like ginger and she calls him Gingy.
Okay, okay.
Speaker 17 Maybe babe.
Speaker 16
Babe. Daddy Warbucks.
Daddy Warbucks.
Speaker 17 Daddy at all would be creepy.
Speaker 16 Okay.
Speaker 16
Bubby, Bubs, or Booba. It's not inherently sexual, but I think it's weird for two grown adults.
No one else in his family calls him that, just her.
Speaker 16 When I brought it up to my husband, he brushed me off, saying she's always called him that.
Speaker 16 Last night at a family dinner, she used the nickname, and I guess I made a face and got quiet, which I tend to do. Later, when we were alone, she asked if something was wrong.
Speaker 16 I debated saying nothing, but figured this was my chance to address it. I told her I found it inappropriate, especially since my husband doesn't like nicknames in general.
Speaker 16 She wasn't surprised, which annoyed me, and said that as long as Connor doesn't mind, she doesn't see the issue.
Speaker 16 She also said she felt like I was implying something inappropriate, which was gross, her words. Then...
Speaker 16 That set me off, and I regrettably made a comment about how she's been single her whole life and might be projecting onto her brother.
Speaker 16
She just started laughing and said, if I'm jealous of my husband's sister, I need couples therapy. Then she said she'd ask Connor if it bothered him.
And if so, she'd stop.
Speaker 16 At that point, I panicked because I didn't want this getting back to my in-laws. As she was leaving, I killed her.
Speaker 16 Oh my God.
Speaker 16
Wow. You have to go back to the bottom.
As she was leaving, I was like,
Speaker 16 I was so gripped. At that point, I panicked because I didn't want this getting back to my in-laws.
Speaker 16 As she was leaving, I told her not to start drama and to handle it like adults instead of telling on me.
Speaker 16
She just rolled her eyes and said, you made your bed. Today, she called Connor and told him everything.
He said the nickname doesn't bother him and that my reaction was disrespectful to his sister.
Speaker 16 He also said it made him feel like I don't see their relationship as platonic, which is disgusting. I told him I don't think he has bad intentions, but I can't say the same for his sister.
Speaker 16
That just made him more ups upset. Now he's being cold toward me.
I know I didn't handle it perfectly, but I don't get why it's such a big deal.
Speaker 16 Their insistence on keeping the nickname makes me feel like something bigger is going on. So, Reddit, am I overreacting? Should I push this? Or do I need to drop it? Yeah, it's like it's a sister.
Speaker 16
Like, they have a completely different dynamic. It's probably been a nickname that they've had since they were kids.
So, it's like, it's not something he thinks about.
Speaker 16
Like, as an adult, he doesn't want new nicknames, but it's like, well, is it even a nickname? It's just kind of what you call me. Yeah.
Right.
Speaker 16
I understand that. Like, my mom, like, my mom has a nickname from for her brothers call her a a nickname.
Yeah, but it's like from like when they were like little same.
Speaker 16 And it comes, it comes from like
Speaker 16 when they were before they could speak properly. They're saying she's like, having and Bubby bubbles or Bubba, like, almost sounds like she was trying to say brother as a little kid.
Speaker 16
She's like, Bubba, you know, and it just kind of stayed that way. The oldest son is always Bubba.
So my dad's Bubba, I'm Bubba. Wow, funny.
It seems like. Especially for grandparents, too.
Speaker 16 Nana, dad, right?
Speaker 17
Mammy. I think there's just clear, clearly, there's just discomfort, there's jealousy, there's There's just weirdness around it.
Maybe she just genuinely is like
Speaker 17 finding that like nickname icky and is just like I don't want to hear that. But it's just like you're not involved in that relationship just because you're married to him.
Speaker 17 Like that's weird being like you can't call him that. Like that's
Speaker 16 the extra control that's really so weird.
Speaker 17 Yeah. And again, it's like for me, like since they're siblings, it just seems so clear to be like, there's obviously
Speaker 16
siblings, and this is a nickname that's been around a long time. It's this is very silly.
Yeah.
Speaker 16
And it's also like, if my friends have a nickname for me, like my college friends have nicknames for me. Yeah.
But like, if my partner was like, I don't like them calling you that nickname. What? Why?
Speaker 17 I guess if it was like drawn from like, again, that's why I was guessing, like, babe.
Speaker 17 Like, if your friends are calling them like mostly romantic nicknames, then it's maybe like, hey, like, maybe that one's reserved for me, you know?
Speaker 16 Yeah, but like a nickname is not like babe. It's not like a it's not like a
Speaker 16 pet name. It's like a specific
Speaker 16
to that person, not something that you dish around to anyone. Right, right.
Yeah, so like Rosh, like I wouldn't call anyone else Rosh, probably.
Speaker 17 Right, but then like if my partner was like, hey, don't call her that.
Speaker 16
I would be like, who the fuck is weird? What are you? Sure. That's Rosh.
I know her before I knew you. What are you talking about? Yeah.
That's Rosh to me.
Speaker 16
The only situation I could think of a nickname being inappropriate or uncomfortable is if like someone had a nickname for your partner and it was like very sexual. Yeah.
Exactly.
Speaker 16
Then I'd be like, okay, yeah, but like that's a very specific situation. Yeah.
This is not that situation whatsoever. Like titty Ginny.
Speaker 16 Like don't call my wife titty Ginny. Don't call my husband titty Ginny.
Speaker 17 Call her Skang.
Speaker 16 Yeah, please. Call her hat.
Speaker 16
Comments, you're the asshole. I live in the South.
I can't throw a rock right now and not hit at least five Bubbas. The female version is sissy.
Speaker 16 Every little kid down here calls their brother Bubba or Bubbs or their sister Sissy or Siss. It's literally the most common nickname in this region.
Speaker 16 If you yell it at Walmart, you'll get the attention of all the shoppers.
Speaker 16 What's gross, though, is you thinking something more than sibling affection is going on here, and you do need to work through that ASAP.
Speaker 16
Oh, and FYI, I have at least two cousins older than 55 that are still known as Bubba. OP responded, this genuinely helps a lot.
I'm not from the US and an only child, so this is all new to me.
Speaker 16 His family is originally from the South, so that context makes a lot of sense. That is 149 down votes.
Speaker 16
Her response. She's like, she's like, I understand now.
I'm wrong. And everyone's like, fuck you.
Everyone's like, no, you killed her.
Speaker 16 She'll fucking hate you.
Speaker 16
Someone replied to that. So instead of asking slash looking into the culture of your in-laws, you went off.
You need some help, seriously.
Speaker 16 Instead of being curious and having the desire to learn, you go, it's wrong. You have some serious learning to do.
Speaker 16 oh another person said you're the asshole you sound like a jealous kid with a schoolyard crush not an adult in your late 20s what they call each other is their business but the real problem here is that it sounds like you never brought this up to your husband before you going to his sister marriage is about communicating if it made you uncomfortable he should have been your first port of call or at least you should have brought it up right after you talked to her rather than waiting for him to find out op said just to clarify someone mentioned this earlier but it got lost in the comments i wrongly assumed that bubby was a mix of hubby and brother, which is why it felt strange to me.
Speaker 16 I'm an only child, my family doesn't use nicknames, and I'm not from the US, which doesn't mean I was right, but I do think it's an important context.
Speaker 16 I'll talk to Connor ASAP to clear things up because, yeah, I'm obviously the asshole here.
Speaker 16 Someone replied to that saying, I'm sorry, but the fact that your mind went to incest simply because of a nickname you didn't know the meaning of and put together in your head is disturbing.
Speaker 16 You need help to figure out why you went there because being an only child or your family not using nicknames should be irrelevant.
Speaker 16
This is her husband and she's never asked him like, where does Bubby come from? Right. That's all this took.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she let it linger all this time.
Speaker 16 Yeah.
Speaker 17 Yeah, that's definitely odd, but I will give her credit for being
Speaker 17
open and clearly, quickly being like, you know what? You're right. I'm the asshole.
I mean, she asked and she's not upset at the answer.
Speaker 16 Yeah, her acknowledging it and that getting down votes is funny.
Speaker 16 Like people are still throwing tomatoes at her.
Speaker 17 It's all the bubbies. They've gathered.
Speaker 16 Yeah.
Speaker 16 They've gathered. Oh my god.
Speaker 16 I just think like all of this, like I understand there's culture differences and all sorts of things.
Speaker 16
I mean, none of it really justifies it in my head, but like all of it is just alleviated by just talking to your husband. Yeah.
Talking to him first. Right.
Speaker 16
Instead of holding this in and then bringing it out towards his sister. Our last story comes from Am I Overreacting? And also ended up on Am I the Devil? Oh.
Damn.
Speaker 16 Am I overreacting for being offended that my parents called a little girl the cutest little girl they had ever seen?
Speaker 16 Oh.
Speaker 16
I think voice inflection. Your ass is ugly.
Get over it.
Speaker 17 You little hag.
Speaker 16
I think voice inflection matters a lot here. They said it very emphatically and with purpose, as if they meant every word sincerely.
Context.
Speaker 16
At my brother's wedding, the bride's four-year-old niece was the flower girl. I was 26 at the time.
I get it. It sounds like I'm jealous of a four-year-old, and I'm not.
Speaker 16 She was an an adorable little girl. I also understand that families sometimes kiss the keesters of their in-laws to establish or retain good family relations.
Speaker 16 The way they said it was such absolutism just rubbed me the wrong way. She is the cutest little girl I have ever seen, they fawned over and over again.
Speaker 16 I'm their only daughter, so I felt some kind of way about it. Just standing off to the side like, great.
Speaker 16 I'm just not a fan of speaking in absolutisms to begin with. I tend to take things very literally.
Speaker 16 I avoid saying things like, that's the best wedding slash party I've ever ever been to, because it could easily be overheard by someone else whose wedding slash birthday party retirement party I've attended.
Speaker 16
I don't know. It felt like a burn from my parents.
Am I overreacting? Or do my own parents think I wasn't that cute? I mean, why didn't they say cutest kid I've ever seen?
Speaker 16
Because that would contend with my brother. Why couldn't they have just said, she's adorable, so cute.
She did a great job in her role. You can compliment without setting up a favoritism paradigm.
Speaker 16 ETA, they were speaking to the flower girl's grandparents.
Speaker 16 Absolutisms. Instead of just being like, oh, she's really cute, being like, she's actually the cutest girl I've ever seen.
Speaker 16 Yeah, but only Sith deal in absolutes. So
Speaker 14 maybe they are wrong.
Speaker 17 Yeah. I would simply try to make this woman understand that she is just this small person right here and that there's a whole freaking world.
Speaker 16 I'll make her understand that she's a disgusting hack.
Speaker 17 I mean, I wasn't going to say it.
Speaker 16 No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 17 Like, she's like, oh my God, everything that happens around me has to do with me.
Speaker 16 Yeah. No, she's just like,
Speaker 16 yeah, I'm like, okay, bro, like, whoa.
Speaker 16
Also, the context of this, like, weddings, like, dude, people just are in their feelings at weddings. Like, at weddings, the flower girl, and they're talking to the flower girl's grandparents.
Right.
Speaker 16 Of course, they're going to be like, she is just the most precious thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It's like, you're sitting here thinking about yourself in competition with a four-year-old.
Speaker 16 All of a sudden they turn back and OP is like going down the aisle with the flowers. She rips it out of her hands.
Speaker 17 It's clearly just mommy-daddy issues and she's like, oh my God, this four-year-old's cuter than me.
Speaker 16 Maybe she didn't get enough love as a child.
Speaker 17 It's totally that.
Speaker 16
And look, I'm not saying there's other things going on here, but it's just like, dude, you're 26. Right.
There's an open bar. Go get a drink.
Go have some fun, man. Right, right.
Speaker 16 And if there's not an open bar, you've got bigger issues here.
Speaker 17 I think it's just what is confusing me here.
Speaker 17 What's confusing me here is that like these people, they write these posts and aren't able to be like, wait, this is a metaphor for what I need to deal with in therapy.
Speaker 17 Instead, they're like, why am I obsessing over this sentence that my parents said? And everybody else has to be like, hey, honey, and walk them to what it actually means. Yeah.
Speaker 17 That's really concerning.
Speaker 16 Yeah, I think this person's having a hard time
Speaker 16 thinking that other people don't think the way she does, right?
Speaker 16 Because she's like, I don't speak in absolutism because what if, what if I say this is the best party I've ever been to and someone else nearby has had a party recently and they feel bad about it.
Speaker 16 I'm like, they're not feeling bad about it.
Speaker 17
Yeah. Probably.
So she's maybe just like overly considerate in a way.
Speaker 16 Yeah, she's being, because that's how she thinks of things, but it's like, hey, other people don't think that way. Yes.
Speaker 16
I'm sure your parents don't think that girl is better than you. Like you're their daughter and you're an only child.
But it's just, it is self-centered.
Speaker 17 That's a great point.
Speaker 16 Her universe is very self-centered. She's just thinking about herself in relation to everything going on.
Speaker 17 Right. And it's manifesting in a way of her think, exactly what you said.
Speaker 17 It's a great point of like, so often we get caught in the cycle of, like, this is how I think, and therefore every human around me thinks the exact same way.
Speaker 17 And it almost goes back to the story with the photos, right?
Speaker 17 The wife is like, well, I think that photos are important and I need to have them with my daughter. My husband definitely thinks that too.
Speaker 17
And so therefore him not taking photos with me is intentional. And it's like, we literally all think so differently.
You cannot assume that.
Speaker 16 Also, look,
Speaker 16 this kid might be the cutest four-year-old ever, but it's like, hey, go when she's 26 years old, go find her and be like, yeah, well, how do you match up to when I was 26? Killer.
Speaker 17 Hell yeah. Killer.
Speaker 16 Oh, my God. Sorry.
Speaker 16
Comments, I get it. It sounds like I'm jealous of a four-year-old and I'm not.
Yes, you're jealous of a four-year-old. Someone else said, did I miss something?
Speaker 16 Is this really about your parents making a compliment about a four-year-old girl? I think of all the things someone could do to make you feel bad about yourself, that's really not that bad.
Speaker 16 I think it had nothing to do with you and you'd probably be a lot happier not wasting your energy on such things.
Speaker 16 You're essentially saying you'd feel happier policing what kinds of compliments your parents pay. That's what would make you happy.
Speaker 16 OP responded saying, no, what would make me happy is feeling like I was the cutest little girl my parents had ever seen instead of being saddled with this lifelong inferiority complex.
Speaker 16 Okay.
Speaker 16 This is a test.
Speaker 16 This is a prank.
Speaker 16
This is real testing. Jesus, she's fighting.
Yeah, you know it's bad when they're fighting. You end up on Am I the Devil when you fight in the comments.
Speaker 17 Oh, I just want to read.
Speaker 16 This other woman from the last story should not have been an Am I the Devil, I don't think. Right?
Speaker 17 It's kind of crazy.
Speaker 16 She admitted she was an offense.
Speaker 17 That doesn't seem like she admitted she was wrong that part.
Speaker 16 Twice over. Yeah.
Speaker 16 Someone said, I read an article once from a woman who had a baby, and after the birth, the doctor got the baby all cleaned up and handed it to the mother and said, this baby is the the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.
Speaker 16 The mother beamed and told all her friends and family what he said.
Speaker 16 Sometime later, maybe years, I can't remember, she met another mother whose kid was close to the same age as her and they compared birth stories. It turned out they had the same doctor.
Speaker 16 The other mother proudly said that the doctor said her baby was the most beautiful baby he'd ever seen. The first mother, the writer of the article, was shocked.
Speaker 16 All this time she believed that the doctor really thought her baby was the most beautiful, but it then dawned on her that he said this to all the mothers.
Speaker 16 So my advice is to take your mother's comments with a grain of salt. I am certain that you were, and in her mind, still are the most beautiful little girl she has ever seen.
Speaker 16 OP responded, oh my God, saying, I wish I could give you an award for this beautifully written, insightful, and emotionally intelligent response.
Speaker 16 All I can offer is an upvote and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your response means a lot to me.
Speaker 16 That was nice.
Speaker 16 But also, the doctor, we're omitting a possibility that it was the most beautiful baby and then a new baby dropped. But maybe truly
Speaker 16
now the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. A new baby just dropped, and it's the most beautiful, and it's like, oh, new baby just dropped.
It's like this. This is the most beautiful baby.
Speaker 16
The odds are there of every baby he sees is just a little better than the previous baby. Yeah, that's natural selection.
It's for everybody.
Speaker 16
It's getting hotter. Babies are all getting better.
The earth is getting hotter. Babies are getting hotter.
Yeah. Let's ride.
Guys, good news.
Speaker 16 Every human that's coming out, they're all stronger, faster.
Speaker 16
They're hot, you guys. Right out the oven.
They're hot.
Speaker 16 Oh, my God.
Speaker 16
The doctor's like, your baby's hot. Your baby is hot.
It's like, he said, my baby was the most beautiful baby he's ever seen. He's like, he's not.
He told me my baby was hot. He said my baby was sexy.
Speaker 16 What?
Speaker 16 Bring that titty Ginny over.
Speaker 17 He said, give me that skate.
Speaker 16 Your baby's a hack.
Speaker 16 Nah.
Speaker 16 Okay. Can I say, though? Okay, because I think babies are super cute, right?
Speaker 17 Some, most.
Speaker 16 Babies are super cute. I think all babies are really cute, but sometimes you'll, like,
Speaker 16
a friend of yours, right? Like, you'll know someone, and they might, they're an attractive person, but they'll show you a baby photo and you're like, oh my God. Yeah.
Whoa. Bad, bad.
Speaker 16 You turned out good. But, like, well,
Speaker 16 oh, yeah.
Speaker 16
And enough sense. Your parents probably didn't know what was going to happen.
Right. Yeah.
Speaker 16 wow. Yeah.
Speaker 16 Well, um.
Speaker 17 I'm glad that she also seems like she accepted accountability, which I guess gets you into the Am I the Devil Club.
Speaker 16 In that one comment, yeah, it seems like she gets it
Speaker 16
a little bit, hopefully. Yeah.
But still funny. Yeah.
Speaker 16 Damn. Well, these were some, this was a lot of jealousy.
Speaker 17 Yeah.
Speaker 16 Yeah.
Speaker 16
And envy. And some envy.
And some envy. Little sprinkles of envy in there.
Yeah.
Speaker 15 Thank you both for joining me.
Speaker 17 I feel like I learned something.
Speaker 16 What was it? You don't know?
Speaker 17
Yeah, I don't know. But I just feel it.
Maybe some of a baby.
Speaker 15 I think I did.
Speaker 16
I don't know what it is, but I think I learned something. That's great.
Hey, that's good. Yeah.
Well, thank you both for being here. You guys are definitely the second best guests I've ever had.
Speaker 17 I think I just learned something else.
Speaker 16 Just kidding. You're the best guests I've ever had on this show.
Speaker 16 Oh, he says that to everybody.
Speaker 16
Thank you for watching. Let us know what other themes and subreddits you'd like to see on this show, and we'll see you next Saturday.
Bye.
Speaker 17 Bye.
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