Green With Envy | Reading Reddit Stories

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Welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane and today's theme is jealousy.

And I'm joined by two people that I am jealous of.

You have Courtney.

Just kidding.

Oh.

They're jealous of me.

Yeah, right.

Exactly.

There it is.

Jealousy.

Are you guys jealous people?

Do you ever deal with jealousy?

You go.

I would, okay, so I want to say no.

I do want to say no,

but I have to say yeah.

I just, actually, not with, not with like wins and acting stuff.

I'm really good about that.

Like, I'm like, yay, I'm glad you got that.

Even if I was up for the same part, I'm like, I feel happiness instead of like, sure, I should have gotten it instead.

Sure.

Yeah.

What's the difference in envious and jealous?

Jealousy is the fear of losing something in a situation because of someone else, possibly.

Whereas envy is going, oh, I wish I had what they had.

Right.

I think in a lot of those situations, I don't think I'm the jealous type too much.

I definitely have felt a lot of envy throughout my life, but I think that's very common in acting, right?

Because we're in an industry where it's like

people just get a role that you want, and it's, you know, it's, it's just an interesting career in that way.

But jealousy in relationships, I don't think I ever really,

like, I'm not threatened by someone, right?

Because I guess I've always had the thought of like, if someone's going to, you know, leave you or cheat on you or something, I'm like, there's nothing I can do about it.

Like, you know,

there are the moments where emotions feel like they're high and it's like, wait, I'm, I'm maybe threatened or feeling a little bit concerned.

But then exactly that, that feeling of, hold on, if they are actually interested in somebody else or if they're even like going so far as to like pursue them, there's nothing really that I can do.

Jealousy definitely seems to pertain in relationships because you're fear of losing your partner.

Right.

Right.

But envy seems to be more the case with anything career related.

Yeah.

I think so.

Or just outside of romantic relationships.

Okay, here we go.

Our first story comes from relationship advice.

Okay.

This is a 37-year-old man writing in, why is my wife, 30-year-old woman, jealous that my ex-wife has found love?

I don't know what else to add to the title.

My wife is kind of obsessed, stalking and following my ex-wife since she told us that she was engaged.

Apparently, my ex has been seeing this guy for a while, but since she's a mom, she didn't want to make it official until everything is serious so as not to confuse the children.

My wife is in shock and her first reaction to the news is, who is this loser then?

But the new guy seems really nice and instead of being glad that at least her stepchildren would have a good man in their mother's life, my wife is very irritated and angry.

I would even say jealous.

She isn't following my ex on Instagram, so she can't follow the relationship, so she sent the new guy a follow request.

I confronted her and she denied being jealous or obsessive.

I told her that we should be happy since my children will have to live with this and it is a good thing that he is good to their mother and that she's in a happy relationship.

It benefits everyone.

She asked me who in his right mind would want her.

I was surprised because why would she not think any human, let alone someone like my ex, is worth love?

I told her probably plenty would because she is a kind and pleasant person.

All hell broke loose, and she started calling my ex names.

Can anyone help me out here?

This is interesting.

Yeah.

This is interesting.

My first inclination is like, I want to know what the other guy's deal is.

Like, if, okay, let me explain this.

Let's hear it.

If he's hotter or more successful, I'd be like, fuck, she went up.

She, like, she upgraded.

And I'm stuck with the schlub that's my husband.

No.

That's my inclination.

Sure.

Just because it's in jealousy, so I'm like looking at a lens through jealousy.

She's like, And maybe she knows stories about her hurting the husband, so she just wants the worst for her.

Sure.

Maybe.

yeah.

It could be that almost like a sort of like protectiveness in a way, or anger off of whatever happened between their relationship.

I am suspecting that a lot of these stories are going to be related to insecurity.

Oh, totally.

You know, which a lot of that derives from.

It's like,

because people that are completely content and at peace with themselves are so often not jealous of other people or envious because they are like at peace and they're good.

And it seems like this situation kind of screams to me like she is maybe not super happy or she feels like she has to win.

And so she's in competition with this ex-wife.

And now that the ex-wife has found happiness, she's not happy with it and is reacting in some sort of way of like, no, she can't have this.

And I love the point of like,

the husband being happy because his kids are going to get another great figure in in his life in their life.

That makes so much sense.

But she, for some reason, isn't able to see that because she's caught up in her own

tiff with this ex-wife, who, again, there's definitely a lot of context missing.

Yeah, it's interesting because, like, you know, I hear about people being jealous of their ex or like caring about their ex's life, but it's interesting that she is obsessed with her partner's ex.

That's weird.

That's a lot because I'm assuming, you know, a lot of time has had to have passed by this point.

Yeah.

I mean, she's clearly comparing herself to his ex, and maybe it's that the ex is doing so well.

Maybe she's worried that he'll see how well she's doing.

It seems that all hell broke loose once he said, no, she's a kind and pleasant person.

Right.

It's like, oh,

his ex has her life together.

Yeah.

And so she's doing really well.

So she's maybe like, oh, no, will this make him want her more now that she's with someone else?

Maybe that, like, kind of that type of thinking.

Totally, totally.

Again.

Because maybe that would be her logic.

Yeah.

So she's putting her logic for his.

It's definitely insecure.

Oof.

When I start talking to a boy, I'm going to look up every ex you've ever had.

Really?

I'm going to look them up and I'm going to, yeah, on LinkedIn, on Instagram.

Like, I want to know everything interesting.

I guess for me, it's kind of like a, it's like the pain that I want to feel, you know?

I want to hurt you.

I want to hurt myself.

Tell me how you guys met.

you know and it's like it hurts but i want to know i get that so i think i think for me it's it's in a way kind of like a guilty pleasure thing.

I don't think I obsess over it in that way because I also try to just be like that was a different time and space.

And almost everybody has exes and and so when I put myself in the shoes of my partner and and then I think of my ex I'm just kind of like wait there's no competition there.

I'm not thinking about my ex like that.

I guess what's tough with this one is they have kids so it's not like she's completely out of his life.

Yeah.

They they do probably see each other.

They're both parents to the same children.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That adds another element.

But you still,

I mean, come on,

you have no choice but to kind of get over it, or you can't be in this relationship if this is going to eat at you like this.

Yeah, it seems.

I bet she thinks of the kids a lot in the way of like, that's a leg up that that woman has on me.

Oh, I didn't even think about that.

Comments on this.

In her head, your ex-wife is a hag that couldn't keep her husband.

She thinks she's the upgrade.

Someone falling in love with and committing to your ex doesn't fit her narrative.

Your ex was meant to grow old and alone in her mind.

Your new wife isn't a good person.

Someone said, if this is true, this is wild behavior.

You seem healthy and well-adjusted at least.

The only thing I can think of is if she has some irrational need to feel superior to your ex-wife, maybe she is in constant competition with her.

Someone said, OP commented that his wife was a colleague at the time of his divorce.

He fell out of love with his ex and in love with her, but didn't consider the relationship cheating because it wasn't physical.

OP's wife played the long game but has been in competition with his ex the entire time and OP never noticed.

It's been a feather in her cap since she won him and now that the ex moved on she has to know that she got the better man.

Yep.

Someone said, my immediate thought when reading this was OP's wife was the other woman.

Good to know that my instincts are correct.

Ooh.

Yes, I was thinking that.

Interesting element.

I did not think about that.

Wait, wait, what?

So OP's wife, the 30-year-old woman woman who's jealous in this story, she was the other woman.

So he basically kind of cheated on his ex-wife with her.

It's sounding like, like an emotional affair with her.

So now that the ex-wife has moved on and stuff, she's like, I'm not winning anymore.

Like

I won, but

it's also like that weird,

not fetish, but it's just like that weird, like some people like the danger of it.

And when the danger is gone, when I'm not the other woman, when I'm the woman.

yeah or the power of it sorry not i shouldn't say woman when i'm the other person in the relationship sure it's not the primary partner but that makes so much sense it's like it it began as this like chase of like oh i need him to choose me outside of his marriage and now that he's done that there's this again like whole story that she's built up in her head it makes me question how long this relationship has been going on you know if it's only been a year or so she they like he's in she's his affair partner this has all happened but now it's like okay well now it's now you're just in a relationship yeah and now it's not exciting to her anymore so she's gonna move on probably cheat on him yeah someone else and finding that thrill in stalking the ex

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This fall, let your home smell as good as it looks.

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From Spice Pumpkin to Whitewoods, your fall favorites are just a tap away.

It's home fragrance that feels as elevated as it smells, and right now, it's the perfect time to stock up.

Visit Pura.com and bring home the best scents of the season.

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Back to the show.

Okay, our next story.

This comes from True Off My Chest.

I was once again left out of my daughter's birthday pictures, and I'm done talking to my husband about it.

Oh.

Oh, no.

This is sad.

Pretty much as the title says, my daughter turned five in the middle of last week, but yesterday we had her birthday party.

We had it at the local trampoline park, since that's her favorite place right now.

Because of my husband's work schedule, I did the majority of the planning.

He did contribute financially, but I planned the theme, made the party reservation, ordered the cake, made the party favors, etc.

My daughter is a huge daddy's girl, and thus he is the favorite parent.

She's only five, so I don't hold it against her by any means, but it still definitely hurts.

For health reasons, I can't jump with my daughter, but my husband was.

They both had a great time, and so did the other kids that were there.

But just like previous years, I'm the one behind the camera.

I take all the pictures every year, and I'm not in any of them.

I've spoken to my husband about my feelings before, but all I get are empty empty promises of how he will do better.

Last year, we rented a room at the local conference center for her party, and I asked my grandmother to take pictures of me and my husband holding our child while we sang happy birthday and cut the cake.

Instead of pictures, she took a video.

Once again, no pictures of me.

Call me old-fashioned, but I like printing pictures for photo albums, and I can't exactly print off a video.

So another year of no pictures.

After yesterday's party, we decided to take her gifts home rather than open them at the party.

The kids had a very limited time at the park, so rather than spend 20 minutes opening presents, we figured it would be better to take them home and open them there so the kids had more time to play.

Even while opening presents, I was behind the camera.

My husband didn't think once that I should be in any of them.

By the end of the day, I was very upset, and I'll give my husband credit for knowing where I am.

But then again, I wasn't really hiding it.

I went to say goodnight to my daughter because I had to be up early the next day.

He followed me to talk to me.

He said, What's wrong?

What did I do?

I just looked at him and said, It's what you didn't do for the third year in a row.

I went to the bedroom and he didn't follow me.

I'm just done.

I'm so sick of his empty promises of doing better.

Besides little things like this, he's a good husband and an amazing father, but it genuinely feels like there are times when he doesn't think about me at all.

And if anyone thinks, well, why don't you just ask him to take pictures?

I shouldn't have to.

I'd like to think that my husband would want pictures of me and our child together.

The last picture I remember him taking of me and our daughter was in a restaurant on my 29th birthday, and I asked him to take it.

I'm so tired of this.

At any time, I could get sick or be in an accident and die and the only pictures my daughter will have of me will be selfies I've taken, none of me on her birthdays or even holidays.

Because of our crazy schedules, I won't see my husband again until next Sunday unless he stays up all night to see me in the AM, which he sometimes does.

Part of me wants to text him and lay it all out, again, but the majority of my thoughts is to just give up on it.

I told my husband it's the third year in a row, but it's probably been more than that.

I don't recall seeing any pictures of me and her on her birthday or me even being in the background.

I'm just so hurt and tired of it.

Thanks for reading.

I'm like,

pull yourself together.

What?

Yeah.

I think I've got it.

I think I...

I see a lot of elements of this because

clearly it hurts her.

She tells him after the fact every birthday of like, can you get photos of me?

And he's like, oh yeah, for sure.

Next year.

365 days from now.

And then he doesn't.

And it just sounds like he's a little like, just not the type to think about it.

But I also understand she's hurt that she's like, I don't want to have to ask.

Like, I want you to care for me and take photos of me because you know how important this is to me, but you're not doing it.

However, out of all this, she's talking about like, it seems like in her quest to prove a point to him that she's correct and she's not getting photos with her daughter on her birthday.

And that matters to her so much.

It sounds like she's giving up a little quickly.

Like the grandma took a video.

It's like, okay, you got a video.

She could have just handed the phone back and been like, can you also get some photos?

Right.

This one I think about a lot because in my family, my mom loves photos and the majority of my family otherwise, we just don't take photos.

Yeah, right.

Like I'm really bad with taking photos.

My brothers are too.

Like we just don't think about it.

But my mom is just like, okay, we're getting a photo.

First thing we're doing when we all get together on Sunday, we're getting a photo.

And it's like, all right, okay, we'll get a photo.

All right, we're doing it.

Like, she, it matters to her.

And like, we know that.

So we're going to do that.

And, um,

that part of it just like truly cracks me up that she finally was like, okay, grandma, like, here, you take the photo.

And then grandma hands it back and she goes, it's a video.

I do think she's doing a little bit of the like martyrdom here where she's like, well, I guess I just won't be in any photos.

It's like, hey, like, I understand, it sucks.

I'm not disregarding that your husband should be taking photos of you and your daughter.

He needs to realize it's important to you.

And it it should also be important to him to have photos of you.

Like, I agree with that.

But don't, but giving up and be like, well, I guess there just won't be any photos of me when I die.

It's like, okay, well, that sucks for you too.

Like,

don't self-sacrifice because your husband's forgetting this.

Yeah,

it's clear to me that there is a hypersensitivity toward her taking photos.

And we don't know where that comes from, but she's clearly finding great value and importance in this.

And for that, I understand.

And I feel like the more she, she's in a prison of her own making, like the more she pours into this idea, she's like purposely making it harder.

She's like looking at all the ways that he will mess up.

She's looking for ways that he's going to fail.

Well, if you start filtering the world in how is this going to happen, it's going to start happening the way you want it to happen.

If I'm looking for all the ways, how is he really doing well?

How is he being a really good husband?

If she filters through that, she's going to start seeing all the ways that he's coming through for her and thinking about her.

And it feels like she even like wrote some of that, right?

Like she talked about him like staying up all night to see her like he sometimes does.

I'm like, that's incredible.

There's stories where it's like, it's not about that.

I can tell your husband or the wife is doing a bunch of disrespect across the board.

And here's an instance where it's the tipping point.

This doesn't read like that.

This reads like they are in a marriage that they don't want to get out of it's this one thing that she is just so mad about 100 because otherwise she's not saying he sucks all the time she's like this one thing i want him to do and i'm trying to do but but i but i think i can be empathetic toward the idea that it is so crucial to her totally like like it's kind of it's it's it's it seems silly to be like you know i i want him to just want photos of us like you know you can't really control control people like that.

And you can't be like, well, why don't you want that?

But, but what you can do is communicate and be like, this is really important to me.

Right.

And it is important that he learns that, as you were saying.

Yeah, I think I

there's, I think how she's going about this is like.

not the right way.

Totally.

It's like, okay, get the photos.

You want these photos, get them.

If you have to do it yourself, you have to do it yourself.

And then after the fact, though, tell him, be like, it really hurts me when you don't like take photos.

Like, communicate that.

I just feel like she's not being vigilant enough about getting the photos in the first place.

Just tell him.

I know.

Frank.

And it's like, can you come take a photo of me and our daughter?

And unfortunately, the way this is written, the way she's like talking about this, it makes me wonder how she's communicating this.

Yeah.

Is it communicating?

And I mean, you do have to be very straightforward with people.

Yeah.

And depending on the person, but you have to go and go, hey, it would mean so much to me if you take photos of me without me asking.

It hurts me when you don't take photos because it makes me feel invisible.

It makes me feel like you're not thinking about me.

Instead of,

it could be like delivered as an, wow, it really sucks.

I guess I don't have any photos of myself this year.

Right.

Again.

Rooted in that sort of

bitterness and resentment of not having the photos.

Because some people just do not pick up on things.

Because she might say that and he goes, oh, that sucks.

Yeah.

I'll make sure next year I get some photos.

And it's a cool thing.

Next year rolls around.

He's just at the trampoline place, not thinking.

Right.

He's jumping on trampolines.

I think this is also like, it brings up like love languages and stuff.

And clearly, like, I think acts of service matter to her.

And they may not matter.

Like, they may not be something he thinks about with him.

My love language is photos.

I want photos.

I did the test.

My love language is selfies.

No, not the selfies.

Those aren't enough.

She has those.

But, you know, he's staying up all night.

She says he stays up all night sometimes to see me.

Yeah, and it's like so quality time might matter to him.

And she and like I said, she's not writing this like I hate my husband.

He sucks.

Yeah, it's this one thing.

Yeah.

Comments on this, your feelings are valid, but you kind of cut off your nose to spite your face here.

You should have insisted on some photos.

Sure, you should not have to ask, but the end result is no photos, and you can't take that back.

Someone else said, yeah, it truly sucks to have to outright ask your partner to do something that you are already doing for them.

But I've discussed this with my therapist before.

And for things like this, sometimes the only way to actually get what you want is to be direct if it was me i'd stop my so during the party hand him my phone and directly tell him to take some photos of me and my child together i totally get op's frustration but it's better she be direct and ask than miss out on any more photos with her child because her husband doesn't take the initiative someone else said this absolutely sucks and your husband needs to be better i will suggest taking screenshots from the video of you and your daughter and printing them out.

A lot of times videos actually look better photo-wise.

I hope your husband starts respecting you more.

OP said, thank you.

I'll try to do that later.

Hopefully the quality is good enough for me to get a couple of pictures.

I don't know about this

quality beauty.

The video is better.

The video picture.

I think grandma got on there and caught me too.

We don't know what grandma's missing.

Grandma's like, I don't know.

She was filming her.

It was in 0.5, too.

There's the element, too, of like the possible jealousy of the daughter.

really seemed to be a daddy's girl and waiting to spend time with the daughter.

No, I forgot about the theme of the girl.

I just feel like I understand.

i i forgot about the theme too i forgot it was jealousy so yeah you're absolutely right good good one shane hey that's also probably jealousy there yeah yeah but i mean she well what she's also is jealous of just there's all these photos and i'm not in the photos but uh i i understand what she wants and i've i've done it before where it's like

Yeah, you screw yourself over in the hopes that it's like, well, they're going to learn their lesson eventually.

They're going to go, oh man, we don't have any photos of you.

And I'll be like, yeah,

because you never took them.

Right.

And now you learned your lesson.

It's like, yeah, cool.

Well, you're not in any photos in the process of this, too.

So

it's like you think you're going to have this huge impact because of your feelings.

It's like when you're mad at someone and you just kind of shut down, you're like, you don't actually deserve my personality anymore.

And it's like, you're just doing that to yourself.

And now you're just upset.

Yeah.

And everyone else is kind of like, what's going on with you?

Right.

Yeah.

Update.

Before I dive into the update, there are some comments that were made that I want to address.

Many pointed out that my husband is probably just someone who wants to live in the moment, and I 100% agree.

The biggest reason I was hurt was because of how many times I have spoken to him about my feelings and his constant promises to do better.

However, like many said, he probably just doesn't think about it at the time.

I don't think he does it on purpose or doesn't do it out of spite.

He's probably having too much fun with our daughter and forgets, and I shouldn't have let it get to me too much.

I still think I shouldn't have to ask, but we clearly have different views when it comes to special occasions.

He wants to live in the moment, and I want to preserve the moments.

With that said, please know that I don't constantly have a camera in my hand.

I just use my phone to snap pictures every so often.

I put the phone down so I can enjoy my daughter's parties and family gatherings too.

I just wanted him to do the same for me on occasion.

Many have said to just take selfies of me and her and I do.

I take a lot of them.

I would just like pictures others have taken as well or even just pictures of me there where I'm not necessarily posing.

Just pictures of me playing with her or hanging out at the party with family and friends.

Many suggested hiring a photographer.

That's what I was about to say.

I was like, why aren't we just hiring?

But that's not something we can really afford, but hopefully with our talk, we won't even need to consider it.

Anyway, on to the update.

My husband and I spoke last night.

When I don't have work the next day, I stay up late so I can spend some time with him, and I wanted us to finally talk.

When he came home, we sat down.

He says he still didn't fully understand what he did wrong, and I told him again how I wasn't in any pictures and how I have talked to him about this many times.

I did say that I understand he was someone who lives more in the moment, but I just wanted to have proof that I was there too.

That I was present at her parties and for her to have memories of me there.

Our daughter is only five and she won't remember her parties or holidays from when she was younger.

As she gets older, I know she will know I was there, but I also want her to see me in her younger years as she grows up.

There were some tears and we apologized to each other.

He promised again to do better, but I'm not going to lie, I'll believe it when I see it, as he said that before, lol.

And I promise to be more understanding of his values.

Going forward, I'll ask family and friends to help take pictures so there are also more photos to save and not just mine.

And yes, as many said, there will be times where I just flat out ask him to take pictures.

Thank you again to everyone who commented on my last post.

I appreciate the support and also the comments that made some great points about how each of us have different perspectives and I need to be more understanding of his values and not just mine.

Wonderful.

I think that's great.

That was perfect.

I truly,

I think she is valid

in what she's feeling.

And I just think that it's different priorities.

I'm so glad that they had that conversation.

That sounds like a really heartfelt and productive moment for them.

Yeah, they talked.

And I will say about the hiring a photographer.

Like, just hand the phone to, can you help me for two minutes?

Can you take a couple candid photos?

We had that, and grandma didn't.

No, no, no, no.

Why are you giving it to grandma?

Don't give the phone to grandma.

She's like, I got it.

I don't know what you're.

If you need photos taken, do not hand it to an old person.

Ever.

Are you doing it?

No, literally, because then they go, it's a video.

You're truly better off handing it to a five-year-old.

Like, hand it it to anyone but the old lady.

Right.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Crazy.

Even though you could also get some really funny photos and content out of that.

There's plenty of stuff.

But if you want some genuinely good photos, hand it to a younger person.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or the timer feature.

Anybody?

Boom.

But she didn't want selfies.

She wanted unposed.

She wanted candid.

No, no, no, no.

Timers aren't selfies, Shane.

Let me teach you right here.

You got to set it up and you do like the three seconds or the ten seconds.

I know, but it's still a posed picture.

She wants people taking photos of her while she's unaware.

Oh.

That's what candid is.

Oh, that's what she wants.

That's what she said that in there.

Like, I want, I don't want just posed.

I want some.

She wants it happening while she's not.

Naturally, gotcha, gotcha.

And I get that because those are like genuine moments.

Candidates are so good.

Craig or Great.

I definitely feel bad because Courtney is someone who takes tons of candid photos.

She's very good about it.

And I'm horrible about it.

I don't think about pulling out my phone to take photos.

And I feel really bad about it.

So sometimes when I do, I'm like, oh, like, I feel bad she doesn't have as many.

Cause like she, she takes tons of like candid photos of me.

I feel like the majority of photos of me are on Courtney's phone.

Right.

Because I don't even take photos of myself ever.

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Back to the show.

Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole.

Am I the Asshole for calling my sister a jealous hag because she got judgy over my husband making me an Easter basket?

I believe as of this airing, Easter is tomorrow.

So he has not risen.

He has not razed yet.

He has not.

My husband and I do Easter baskets for one another, and this year he gave me mine early since I'll be gone.

In the basket was the usual dark chocolate bunny, starburst jelly beans, and then some swifty stuff from Etsy, a fidget toy, and really surprisingly, he got me three full bottles of perfume that were on my wish list.

Oh my gosh.

Cutie.

Hundred Silent Ways, Bianco Latte, and Oriana.

I was shocked because that's a big spend.

I was over the moon and took a pic and posted it to my Insta story.

The next day, my sister came over.

I'd left my basket on the table and she poked through it and took some jelly beans and then made a comment asking me if my husband had stepped out on me or something and was trying to make it up to me.

I was like, no, of course not.

Why would she say that?

She asked why he'd go all out like this then and how it must be nice to have all this extra money to spend when everyone around us is struggling.

Oh, it must be nice to have such a picture-perfect marriage.

I was really taken aback and asked her what her issue is.

She was like, most women I know can't even get their husbands to fill a Christmas stocking for them and you're out here bragging about yours and shoving it in everyone's faces.

I'll be lucky if I get a card on my birthday.

I told her to stop blaming me because she chose to marry a thoughtless man.

Oh, no.

That's an overstep.

That she had the choice to marry someone who did nice things for her and she chose to marry a man who doesn't help around the house, buy her flowers, etc., and not be a pissy, jealous hag because she chose to settle for less.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

This set her off, and she started arguing with me more, telling me that I'm fucked up for calling her a jealous hag when there's nothing to be jealous of.

More like embarrassed that it's 2024 and I'm acting like life is a rom-com.

That the fact that I even listened to Taylor Swift is proof that I need to grow up.

I told her to just get out and double down on her being a pissy, jealous hag.

Now that I'm on the other side of the country for work, I feel like maybe I was over the top in calling her a jealous hag.

You're just jealous is the most annoying comeback in the world, and I used it on my own sister.

She also typically texts me throughout her day, and she hasn't sent me anything since then, which means she is definitely still pissed.

Am I the asshole?

No, she's a jealous hag.

You didn't need hag.

You didn't need hag, but sorry.

She was being a jealous hag.

She was being jealous.

I didn't get hag.

I was getting pissy, though.

Hags can be extremely powerful.

Yes.

They're curses.

They're curses.

They can be very powerful.

They're a formidable opponent.

It was a compliment.

I meant it as a compliment.

I was trying to say something nice.

I meant that you're cursed.

That's such a wild statement.

Like to see a really kind gift would be like, so did he like cheat on you?

Yeah, what?

Right.

Damn.

Right.

And also, what if life was a rom-com?

Right.

And sorry, was life a rom-com and now it's not?

Because it's 2024.

What is that?

Yeah.

I'm not going to, I'm not saying she's wrong or not, but if someone said something of that, especially like a...

brother or sister, if they said all of that shit of that nature, I think my response would be like, is everything okay?

Right.

Like, did your husband cheat on you?

Like, whoa,

I'm feeling some projection here.

Well,

she can't even get a birthday card is what she said.

So clearly she's unhappy.

Oh, damn.

She's 100% projecting.

And yes, maybe not a hag, but 100% jealous.

It's, yeah, I mean, she is being jealous, right?

Right.

Or envious.

Yes.

Absolutely in this situation.

And she's saying really mean things.

100%.

Out of thin air, where it's not necessary all.

I also can understand the hag if this is a series of a pattern.

Okay.

If she's probably been dealing with this for this is her sister.

Yeah.

They text all day, every day, she's saying.

This has probably been behavior that's been going on for a long time.

Yeah.

Then that happens.

Did she say it was older or younger?

I'm assuming older because she's a hag.

Yes.

Oh, I was assuming younger

because she was acting like a hag.

She's acting like a hag.

I don't actually know.

It doesn't sense.

But

just with the power dynamic, I guess it goes either way too.

I guess my thought always is with like with siblings.

Especially sisters.

Sisters is I'm like, okay, I'm not, it doesn't matter necessarily to me if you're an asshole or not.

It's just like, what do you want to happen?

Because by calling your sister a hag,

it can't just end there.

You gotta, if this is someone, if you're planning on cutting her out of your life, you can say whatever you want to her.

But if you guys are gonna maintain a relationship for the rest of your life, like you're going to have to resolve every argument and everything you say to each other.

So like, are you trying to make the situation more intense?

Or are you trying to like,

that's why

I'm not saying she's wrong for calling her a hag, as much as I'm like, eventually do you want your sister to not be this way to you.

So I like call her out on that behavior.

Calling her out on her behavior is totally warranted, but also being like, why are you

saying these things?

It certainly seems like a

a quick response, right?

She was obviously just reacting out of anger.

Because clearly her sister threw the first punch, so to speak.

She immediately saw this basket.

What I'm getting from it is that she was like, oh my gosh, like, I wish.

my husband would do something like this.

Like he would never.

And is sort of like, well, I need to protect myself and convince myself that this isn't what I want by being like, ew, who would want this?

Yeah.

And bring her sister sister down, which affected her sister, obviously, and made her be like, um, why aren't you supporting me, you pissy jealous hag?

And jumped in there and kind of attacked her like that.

And clearly, it seems like she's not a bad person.

She's like feeling regret for saying that stuff.

She's guilty.

Of course.

But she was being jealous.

And I think she did deserve to be called out on that front.

Absolutely.

Definitely.

Absolutely.

I do think in these situations, when someone's acting irrationally or saying really jealous things or really really like cruel or just like out-of-pocket stuff i do think questions disarm the situation so much better yeah and i think you can still get that satisfaction of kind of like if you want to dunk on them you can still get it by just throwing a question back at them it's just like sometimes it's as simple as like why would you say something like that

and it's brilliant and then it's just like well i don't know men i men my i can't get my husband to do this it's like why why do you think that is like why like just if you ask these questions she's gonna have to admit she's already kind of admitting her situation sucks.

Yeah.

But the verdict was not the asshole.

Comments, not the asshole for calling her out on her jealousy as she was the one who made an issue where one didn't exist and then attacked you by trying to say that your taste in music made you immature.

Different people have different budgets and therefore different lifestyles.

That's just the way things are.

Where you are kind of the asshole is when you commented on her relationship with her husband.

Is the guy truly thoughtless or did you just irrationally lash out because your sister was being aggressive?

If she and her husband can't afford lavish gifts, that doesn't mean that what they do get is any less meaningful.

That's also true.

She was also like, oh, it's not my fault.

You married a thoughtless man.

Which was fine.

It would look, if I'm watching Bridgerton, I'm like, hell yeah.

You're like, yeah, you ate.

I feel like asking questions, I feel like she was already saying that.

Like, she's offended.

By you saying, like, confirming what she was already saying.

It's like, I can't get my husband to do this.

It's like, well, you married a thoughtless guy.

It's like, how dare you?

Right.

Yeah, right.

That's what you just said.

Yeah.

But that is.

That is a fair argument, though, that like, that's just assuming, like, just because he's not giving you gifts doesn't mean that he's a bad husband.

Like, there's clearly, hopefully, other qualities that are redeemable in hell.

Of course.

And it goes back to love languages, too.

OP responded to that saying, hi, I wanted to respond to this because I want to make it clear that I don't say these things because he isn't spending tons of money on lavish gifts for her.

I get why there's hesitance over me naming the perfumes, but I thought it would be useful context.

I hope my explanation helps.

It's not about the money, but about the effort and attention.

My sister's husband does not pay attention to what she likes or dislikes in terms of gifts.

If he even remembers to get her things, he gives her very generic things that he probably finds on lists of 30 gifts for wives, and it's often stuff she doesn't like.

She has complained about it for years, and nothing ever changes because, at his core, he doesn't care.

She will go out of her way to make stockings for him and the kids, but she doesn't get that effort returned.

No,

she heard us and said, No, he sucks.

No, I'm I'm sorry.

He's a piece of shit.

Yeah.

Someone else asked, Easter baskets for adults?

Never heard of it.

No shade.

OP says, I don't think it's that common, but my mom always did it for my dad, and they have a really good and fun marriage.

It's always been just really silly stuff dressed up in the old baskets we have.

One year, my mom didn't realize when Easter was and ended up giving my dad stuff from the pantry he forgot about, and he was over the moon because he didn't know we had beef jerky left.

LOL.

That's so sweet.

That's very sweet.

Yeah.

Please say update.

No update.

No, No, no, don't.

I don't think there's much.

There's not much to update.

Well, I want to know if the sister's like, bitch,

coming back, you know?

The sister needs to realize the villain here is her husband.

That's juicy.

That's juicy.

It is the case.

The sister's getting mad at OP, but the real problem is her husband is a piece of shit.

Is he a piece of shit?

That's what the OP was just like,

he's not really thinking about her, like, at all.

Well, because he's the Easter bunny.

He He has Easter to think about.

There you go.

He's got a bunch of eggs to deliver up in that biscuit.

Bet you didn't think about that.

Betty didn't date the buddy.

Okay, our next story comes from relationship advice.

I, a 28-year-old man, am considering leaving my girlfriend, who's 29, after she catfished me as a prank.

Oh.

Oh?

Okay, I'm kind of in.

I'm very much in.

Yeah, I know.

Okay, so OP's girlfriend catfished him as a prank.

Yeah.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for two years.

I've always thought she was very sweet and kind, and I really appreciate how much she loves me.

And while she sometimes got a little jealous, I didn't think it was a big deal.

Hell, maybe I even enjoyed being doted on like that.

It made me feel really attractive, which I never really felt I was.

Recently, we attended a work event organized by my company, and we met one of my coworkers there.

She works at a different branch, and we hardly ever talk outside of work emails and calls, but we get along well enough.

This event was my girlfriend's first and only time meeting this coworker.

On the way back from the event and the following day, my girlfriend was acting a little weird.

She kept asking me about a work wife and asking if I thought that co-worker was pretty and other stuff about her.

I knew my girlfriend could get kind of jealous and I did my best to calm her down.

No, that woman isn't my work wife.

I don't follow her on any socials.

I don't even have her personal phone number.

I don't think she's more beautiful than my girlfriend and I am happy with my girlfriend, etc.

She seemed to relax and things got back to normal.

A few weeks later, out of nowhere, I got a follow-request on IG.

My account is private, from my coworker.

I approved and followed back.

Her account is also private.

That account was almost nothing but a few pictures of her in swimsuits uploaded very recently.

It didn't look like anything overtly sexy, just normal vacation pics.

But there was nothing but vacation pics.

It seemed weird, but I didn't really care.

Then a few days later, she DM'd me on IG.

It was just small talk and I replied, but it wasn't flirty or anything in my opinion.

She kept reaching out every few days and eventually it did seem to get kind of flirty.

I told her this felt inappropriate and I was in a relationship and I'd appreciate if we kept things professional, which she seemed okay with.

My girlfriend seemed extra affectionate the days after that and while I didn't suspect anything at the time, you can all probably see exactly where this is going.

Still, at the time I was happy and my girlfriend even seemed to be better regarding her jealousy.

But then last week, I got a follow recommendation on my IG.

It was my co-worker's account.

This one wasn't private and was just a normal IG account.

And looking through it, that was where those swimsuit pics came from.

Here they were, just a part of her normal IG account, which contained mostly normal pics and not just swimsuit ones.

Then I put two and two together.

Before confronting my girlfriend, I talked to that coworker at work and asked for her IG account.

And she gave me her normal one, which I followed.

And indeed, she gave no indication that we ever interacted on IG before.

So it became clear I was being catfished.

I confronted my girlfriend then, and at first, when I was trying to be subtle, she denied everything outright.

Then she shifted to gaslighting me about it and saying it was just a prank, or that it was a test, or that because she was cheated on before, she just needed to know that she could trust me.

I told her that her being able to trust me was great, but how am I supposed to trust her now?

She said that made no sense and kept deflecting no matter how I tried to explain, going so far as to question how I even knew it was her if I wasn't cheating on her with my coworker.

I told her that this was unfair and manipulative, and that I needed some time and went home.

She's been texting and calling since, saying that I'm ruining a great relationship over nothing.

I'm overreacting, and that when I finally realize how much she loves me, it might be too late.

And it's not fair for me to throw everything we built over some skank.

But that just feels incredibly manipulative to me, and like she doesn't get what she did wrong at all.

So I'm conflicted between wanting to just cut and run and giving it another go.

After all, we've been happy together for two years.

But also, can trust be rebuilt after something like this?

Whew!

Second jealous hag.

Chained.

I'm like, I'm like.

Okay.

All right.

Pulling something out?

Okay.

Oh, and you got.

Oh, throwing it out.

Taking it in the trash, bitch.

Wow.

Got to get in the cabinet.

Get the new one.

Yeah.

The new one?

Yeah.

Put the coworker in there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, this is a little obvious.

Aw, fuck off.

She's got to go.

Unhinged behavior.

Yes.

And just it continued to get worse.

The gaslighting, the being like, well, it was a test.

It was a prank.

I actually just needed to make sure because I had been cheated on.

You're going to miss me.

I'm the best thing that's ever going to come to you.

Bye.

I'm going to lie to you.

I'm going to test you without you knowing.

I'm going to pretend to be people I'm not.

I'm going to make your relationship with your coworker possibly weird.

Yes.

And just let's like think about that for a second of like creating an Instagram account for someone else, going on their profile, finding like the scandalous swimsuit pictures.

Swimsuit photos.

And just like, and then the fall, and then the every few days, the small talk until it eventually gets flirty.

Do you have a job?

Yeah.

Or a hobby?

Or anything.

It's a hobby.

Find something to do, girl.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It'd be like effort.

It would be like, okay, the trust is broken, the lying, all this stuff.

But at the end of the day, also, it's like, you're also kind of a loser.

Yes.

Right.

And I have the ick because you're a loser.

Big ick.

Big ick because you're crazy town.

And it's like, what was best case scenario?

Like, you catch it.

Or I guess she, that was best case scenario is that she doesn't.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, but I've said it before, like, to me, like, the cheating, the worst part of cheating is like the lying.

And stuff.

Yeah.

And by catfishing him, like, she kind of, I'm like, it's not much different in a way.

Like, right.

also it's such an invasion she knows how to flirt with him she's his partner she knows exactly what to say she already did it once it's awful that is so awful that is twisted it's really twisted so like logic of of putting all that together and and just thinking I'm not doing anything wrong because I'm about to catch him doing something wrong possibly

Yeah, possibly.

It's also the thing of she's like, well, I trust you now.

I don't believe this is where this behavior ends.

Dude, if you keep dating her, she's going to do this again.

Those feelings aren't just gone forever.

She has trust issues, and that's a thing she's got to deal with.

She has to reckon with that herself.

Yes.

It's not going to be solved.

in this kind of manner.

Right.

The next woman he meets, she's going to have to do this again.

He's going to get follow requests on IG every year.

Well, that too.

Now she has she's given, she's distributed her trust issues.

Now this man also is going to have to face some of that, you know?

Oh my God.

No, and like her calling the coworker a skank.

It's like, okay, whoa, you don't even know.

Like, this lady didn't do anything.

Just breathed.

Truly did nothing.

But be kind.

That's it.

And it's like, it's not even someone he's like close with.

It's just someone.

They didn't even follow each other on Instagram.

Literally don't.

He's like, I don't even really know this person.

And it's like, okay, so God forbid you actually are friendly with someone.

God forbid you actually like someone you work with.

As a friend, he's not gonna be able to associate with any women like ever

with this girlfriend.

Skank is way worse than hag, though.

You think so?

Oh, I would rather be called a skank than a hag.

Really?

Yeah, absolutely.

A hag, I'd just be like, all right, move on.

A skank is a good idea.

A skank can be hot.

Disrespected me.

Well, for sure.

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Okay.

Comments.

I couldn't forgive someone after they breached my trust like this.

The fact that she did this with no care for the consequences, too.

You could have potentially reported your colleague to HR shows incredibly poor judgment, as well as all the obvious other problems with this.

This is likely not the only unhinged thing she's done in your relationship, and it won't be the last.

OP said, I don't think she ever did anything on this level before, but obviously there were signs.

I just didn't really want to see it because I was never regarded as particularly attractive.

And having someone be this into me just felt really nice.

But I guess a lot of this is my own issues I need to work through.

And this relationship is clearly not as great as I may have thought.

Yeah.

That's really true.

He said that.

He said that up there that like she had shown signs of jealousy, but he was like, well, I'm wanted.

And that's valid.

That's fair.

Valid.

But it just could orchestrate into something bigger and messier.

Someone else said, never stay with anyone who tests you.

They want you to fail the test to prove their doubts are genuine.

Every time you pass, they'll be loving for a bit until another doubt enters their head and they come up with another test for you to pass.

It's no way to live your life.

No trust equals no relationship.

OP said, oh my god, this is it.

I didn't even realize how much of a test some of the previous stuff had been, like asking my opinion on other women or getting my opinion on characters cheating on TV.

There was just always something.

Someone said, you guys are way too old for this high school behavior.

I'd end it.

OP said, I completely agree.

This just doesn't sit right with me at all.

Like this weird mind game bullshit.

That's not how you treat a person you supposedly love, right?

I think I might have to end it.

I just needed the push.

Yeah.

There's no update because that was this week as of recording it.

Oh my god.

It doesn't feel right.

Yeah.

But this type of stuff is super common.

Yeah.

I hear about this all the time.

And I've also been in situations in my past where I understand like the feeling of insecurity and wanting to like be like,

these doubts I have in my head, how do I prove that they're right?

But it's like, if to me, if you don't trust your partner, that is such a deep issue.

I've been also on Instagram right now, how you can see the light things that people like that you follow.

You know what I mean?

It's kind of changing the game for me a little bit because there's some boys that I be liking, and they're like, I'm like looking at what they're engaging with and liking, and it's some weird shit.

And it's some questionable shit.

And I'm like, oh,

oh, no.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

See, I feel like there's...

There's like some racy jokes and I'm like, you liked this?

You thought this was funny?

Okay, now we're going to do it.

Oh, no.

That's tough.

You see, like, when you're on reels, then it shows you, like, what are your friends liking?

I'll click on it sometimes.

Yeah.

And girl.

What if you guys looked over and I was suddenly sweating and I was like, you can't see?

Do you see?

They could do that.

So you could do that.

We see that you're liking your edits.

We can see

his own face.

Hands on Shane Talk Thirst Trap.

Is that worse than me liking it?

You created the account, you've created the edit, and then you go to another.

Courtney's like, I think I'm jealous of you.

Or it's like Spencer Thirst Traps.

So

Courtney would be like, I get it.

That's funny.

Courtney's like, I made that one actually.

I actually make those.

It's good.

It's good.

Yeah, it's good.

Yeah.

And you fell for the chips.

She's like, you didn't like my Spencer Thurston Thirst Trap edit.

All right.

Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole and it ended up on Am I the Devil?

Whoa, it's gonna be good.

Yeah.

Am I the asshole for my reaction to my sister-in-law's nickname for my husband?

No.

Sister-in-law?

Her husband's sister has a nickname for him.

OP's husband has a sister, and that sister is calling her brother, who's the OP's husband, a nickname.

Yes.

I'm with you.

Okay.

The people involved, me, a 27-year-old woman, my husband, Connor, 27-year-old man, and his sister, Sophie, a 30-year-old woman.

Fake names.

I feel uncomfortable with the nickname my sister-in-law calls my husband.

All right, what do we think the nickname is?

Pookie.

Pookie?

That'd be rough.

Gingy.

Oh.

Maybe he's like Ginger and she calls him Gingy.

Okay, okay.

That'd be pretty rough.

Maybe babe.

Babe.

Daddy Warbucks.

Daddy Warbucks.

Daddy at all would be creepy.

Okay.

Bubby, Bubs, or Booba.

It's not inherently sexual, but I think it's weird for two grown adults.

No one else in his family calls him that, just her.

When I brought it up to my husband, he brushed me off, saying she's always called him that.

Last night at a family dinner, she used the nickname, and I guess I made a face and got quiet, which I tend to do.

Later, when we were alone, she asked if something was wrong.

I debated saying nothing, but figured this was my chance to address it.

I told her I found it inappropriate, especially since my husband doesn't like nicknames in general.

She wasn't surprised, which annoyed me, and said that as long as Connor doesn't mind, mind, she doesn't see the issue.

She also said she felt like I was implying something inappropriate, which was gross, her words.

Then that set me off, and I regrettably made a comment about how she's been single her whole life and might be projecting onto her brother.

She just started laughing and said, if I'm jealous of my husband's sister, I need couples therapy.

Then she said she'd ask Connor if it bothered him, and if so, she'd stop.

At that point, I panicked because I didn't want this getting back to my in-laws.

As she was leaving, I killed her.

Oh my god!

Wow.

You have to go.

As she was leaving,

I was so gripped.

At that point, I panicked because I didn't want this getting back to my in-laws.

As she was leaving, I told her not to start drama and to handle it like adults instead of telling on me.

She just rolled her eyes and said, you made your bed.

Today, she called Connor and told him everything.

He said the nickname doesn't bother him and that my reaction was disrespectful to his sister.

He also said it made him feel like I don't see their relationship as platonic, which is disgusting.

I told him I don't think he has bad intentions, but I can't say the same for his sister.

That just made him more upset.

Now he's being cold toward me.

I know I didn't handle it perfectly, but I don't get why it's such a big deal.

Their insistence on keeping the nickname makes me feel like something bigger is going on.

So Reddit, am I overreacting?

Should I push this?

Or do I need to drop it?

Yeah, it's like it's his sister.

Like they have a completely different dynamic.

It's probably been a nickname that they've had since they were kids.

So it's like, it's not something he thinks about.

Like as an adult, he doesn't want new nicknames, but it's like, well, is it even a nickname?

It's just kind of what you call me.

Yeah.

Right.

I understand that.

Like, my mom, like, my mom has a nickname from for her brothers call her a nickname.

Yeah.

But it's like from like when they were like little

same.

And it comes, it comes from like

when they were before they could speak properly.

They're sick.

And she's like, haven't they?

And Bubby bubs or booba, like, almost sounds like she was trying to say brother as a little kid.

She's like booba, you know?

And it just kind of stayed that way.

The oldest son is always Bubba.

So my dad's Bubba, I'm Bubba.

Wow, funny.

It seems like.

Especially for grandparents too, nana, dad, right?

I think there's just clear, clearly there's just discomfort, there's jealousy, there's just weirdness around it.

Maybe she just genuinely is like

finding that like nickname icky and is just like, I don't want to hear that, but it's just like you're not involved in that relationship just because you're married to him.

Like, that's weird being like, you can't call him that.

Like, that's

the extra control that's really so weird.

Yeah.

And again, it's like, for me, like, since they're siblings, it just seems so clear to be like, there's obviously

siblings, and this is a nickname that's been around a long time.

It's, this is very silly.

Yeah.

And it's also like, if my friends have a nickname for me, like, my college friends have nicknames for me.

Yeah.

But, like, if my partner was like, I don't like them calling you that that nickname.

What?

Why?

I guess if it was like drawn from like, again, that's why I was guessing like babe.

Like if your friends are calling them like mostly romantic nicknames, then it's maybe like, hey, like, maybe that one's reserved for me, you know?

Yeah, but like a nickname is not like babe.

It's not like a, it's not like a

pet name.

It's like a specific

to that person, not something that you dish around to anyone.

Right, right.

Yeah.

So like Rosh, like I wouldn't call anyone else Rosh, probably.

Right.

But then, like, if my partner was like, hey, don't call her that.

I'd be like, who's weird?

What are you?

Sure.

That's Rosh.

I know her before I knew you.

What are you talking about?

Yeah.

That's Rosh to me.

The only situation I could think of a nickname being inappropriate or uncomfortable is if, like, someone had a nickname for your partner and it was like very sexual.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Then I'd be like, okay, yeah.

But like, that's a very specific situation.

Yeah.

This is not that situation whatsoever.

Like titty Ginny.

Like, don't call my wife Titty Ginny.

Don't call my husband titty Ginny.

Yeah.

Call her Skang.

Yeah, please.

Call her hat.

Comments, you're the asshole.

I live in the South.

I can't throw a rock right now and not hit at least five Bubbas.

The female version is sissy.

Every little kid down here calls their brother Bubba or Bubs or their sister Sissy or Siss.

It's literally the most common nickname in this region.

If you yell it at Walmart, you'll get the attention of all the shoppers.

What's gross gross, though, is you thinking something more than sibling affection is going on here, and you do need to work through that ASAP.

Oh, in FYI, I have at least two cousins older than 55 that are still known as Bubba.

OP responded, this genuinely helps a lot.

I'm not from the U.S.

and an only child, so this is all new to me.

His family is originally from the South, so that context makes a lot of sense.

That is 149 downvotes.

Her response.

She's like, she's like, I understand now wrong.

And everyone's like, fuck you.

Everyone's like, no, you killed her.

She'll fucking hate you.

Someone replied to that.

So instead of asking slash looking into the culture of your in-laws, you went off.

You need some help, seriously.

Instead of being curious and having the desire to learn, you go, it's wrong.

You've some serious learning to do.

Oh, another person said, you're the asshole.

You sound like a jealous kid with a schoolyard crush, not an adult in your late 20s.

What they call each other is their business, but the real problem here is that it sounds like you never brought this up to your husband before you going to his sister marriage is about communicating if it made you uncomfortable he should have been your first port of call or at least you should have brought it up right after you talked to her rather than waiting for him to find out op said just to clarify someone mentioned this earlier but it got lost in the comments i wrongly assumed that bubby was a mix of hubby and brother which is why it felt strange to me i'm an only child my family doesn't use nicknames and i'm not from the u.s which doesn't mean i was right but i do think it's an important context i'll talk to connor asap to clear things up because, yeah, I'm obviously the asshole here.

Someone replied to that saying, I'm sorry, but the fact that your mind went to incest simply because of a nickname you didn't know the meaning of and put together in your head is disturbing.

You need help to figure out why you went there because being an only child or your family not using nicknames should be irrelevant.

This is her husband, and she's never asked him, like, where does Bubby come from?

Right.

That's all this took.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But she let it linger all this time.

In theft.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's definitely odd, but I will give her credit for being

open and clearly, quickly being like, you know what, you're right, I'm the asshole.

I mean, she asked and she's not upset at the answer.

Yeah, her acknowledging it and that getting down votes is funny to me.

Like people are still throwing tomatoes at her.

It's all the bubbies they've gathered.

Yeah.

They've gathered.

Oh, my God.

I just think like all of this, like, I understand that there's culture differences and all sorts of things.

I mean, none of it really justifies it in my head, but like all of it is just alleviated by just talking to your husband.

Yeah.

Talking to him first.

Right.

Instead of holding this in and then bringing it out towards his sister.

Our last story comes from Am I Overreacting?

and also ended up on Am I the Devil?

Oh.

Damn.

Am I overreacting for being offended that my parents called a little girl the cutest little girl they had ever seen?

Oh,

I think voice inflection.

Your ass is ugly.

Get over it.

You little hag.

I think voice inflection matters a lot here.

They said it very emphatically and with purpose, as if they meant every word sincerely.

Context.

At my brother's wedding, the bride's four-year-old niece was the flower girl.

I was 26 at the time.

I get it.

It sounds like I'm jealous of a four-year-old, and I'm not.

She was an adorable little girl.

I also understand that families sometimes kiss the keisters of their in-laws to establish or retain good family relations.

The way they said it was such absolutism just rubbed me the wrong way.

She is the cutest little girl I have ever seen, they fawned over and over again.

I'm their only daughter, so I felt some kind of way about it.

Just standing off to the side like, great.

I'm just not a fan of speaking in absolutisms to begin with.

I tend to take things very literally.

I avoid saying things like, that's the best wedding slash party I've ever been to, because it could easily be overheard by someone else whose wedding slash birthday party retirement party I've attended.

I don't know.

It felt like a burn for my parents.

Am I overreacting?

Or do my own parents think I wasn't that cute?

I mean, why didn't they say cutest kid I've ever seen?

Because that would contend with my brother.

Why couldn't they have just said, she's adorable, so cute?

She did a great job in her role.

You can compliment without setting up a favoritism paradigm.

ETA, they were speaking to the flower girl's grandparents.

Absolutisms.

Instead of just being like, oh, she's really cute, being like, she's actually the cutest girl I've ever seen.

Ever in my life.

Yeah, but only Sith dealing absolutes.

So

maybe they are wrong.

Yeah.

I would simply try to make this woman understand that she is just this small person right here and that there's a whole freaking world.

I'll make her understand that she's a disgusting hack.

I mean, I wasn't going to say it.

No, I'm just kidding.

Like, she's like, oh my God, everything that happens around me has to do with me.

Yeah, and no, she's just like,

yeah, I'm like, okay, bro, like, whoa.

Also, the context of this, like, weddings, like, dude, people just are in their feelings at weddings.

Like, at weddings, the flower girl, and they're talking to the flower girl's grandparents.

Right.

Of course, they're gonna be like, she is just the most precious thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

It's like, you're sitting here thinking about yourself in competition with a four-year-old.

All of a sudden, they turn back, and OP is, like, going down the aisle with the flower.

She rips it out of her hands.

It's clearly just mommy-daddy issues, and she's like, oh my God, this four-year-old's cuter than me.

Maybe she didn't get enough love as a child it's totally that that's and look i'm not saying there's other things going on here but it's just like dude you're 26.

right there's an open bar go get a drink go have some fun man right right and if there's not an open bar you've got bigger issues here i think it's just what what is confusing me here what's confusing me here is that like these people they write these posts and aren't able to be like wait this is a metaphor for what I need to deal with in therapy.

Instead, they're like, why am I obsessing over this sentence that my parents said?

And everybody else has to be like, hey, honey, and walk them to what it actually means.

Yeah.

That's really concerning.

Yeah, I think this person's having a hard time

thinking that other people don't think the way she does, right?

Because she's like, I don't speak in absolutism because what if, what if I say this is the best party I've ever been to, and someone else nearby has had a party recently and they feel bad about it.

I'm like, they're not feeling bad about it.

Yeah.

Probably.

So she's maybe just like overly considerate in a way.

Yeah, she's being, because that's how she thinks of things, but it's like, hey, other people don't think that way.

Yes.

I'm sure your parents don't think that girl is better than you.

Like you're their daughter and you're an only child, but

it's just, it is self-centered.

That's a great point.

Her universe is very self-centered.

She's just thinking about herself in relation to everything going on.

Right.

And it's manifesting in a way of her think,

exactly what you said.

It's a great point of like, so often we get caught in the cycle of like this is how i think and therefore every human around me thinks the exact same way right and it almost goes back to the story with the photos right the wife is like well i think that photos are important and i need to have them with my daughter my husband definitely thinks that too and so therefore him not taking photos with me is intentional and it's like we literally all think so differently you cannot assume that also look this this this kid might be the cutest four-year-old ever but it's like hey

when she's 26 years old, go find her and be like, yeah, well, how do you match up to when I was 26?

Killer.

Hell yeah.

Killer.

Oh, my God.

Sorry.

Comments, I get it.

It sounds like I'm jealous of a four-year-old and I'm not.

Yes, you're jealous of a four-year-old.

Someone else said, did I miss something?

Is this really about your parents making a compliment about a four-year-old girl?

I think of all the things someone could do to make you feel bad about yourself, that's really not that bad.

I think it had nothing to do with you, and you'd probably be a lot happier not wasting your energy on such things Yeah, you're essentially saying you'd feel happier policing what kinds of compliments your parents pay That's what would make you happy OP responded saying no what would make me happy is feeling like I was the cutest little girl my parents had ever seen instead of being saddled with this lifelong inferiority complex

Okay,

you know it's bad when they're fighting.

You end up on Am I the Devil when you fight in the comments.

Oh, I just want to read

the other woman from the last story should not have been an Am I the Devil, I don't think.

Right?

It's kind of crazy.

She admitted she was on the fence.

That doesn't seem like she admitted she was wrong that part twice over.

Yeah.

Someone said, I read an article once from a woman who had a baby, and after the birth, the doctor got the baby all cleaned up and handed it to the mother and said, this baby is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.

The mother beamed and told all her friends and family what he said.

Sometime later, maybe years, I can't remember, she met another mother whose kid was close to the same age as her, and they compared birth stories.

It turned out they had the same doctor.

The other mother proudly said that the doctor said her baby was the most beautiful baby he'd ever seen.

The first mother, the writer of the article, was shocked.

All this time she believed that the doctor really thought her baby was the most beautiful, but it then dawned on her that he said this to all the mothers.

So my advice is to take your mother's comments with a grain of salt.

I am certain that you were, and in her mind, still are the most beautiful little girl she has ever seen.

Opie responded, oh my god, saying, I wish I could give you an award for this beautifully written, insightful, and emotionally intelligent response.

All I can offer is an upvote and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Your response means a lot to me.

That was nice.

But also, the doctor, we're omitting a possibility that it was the most beautiful baby and then a

baby truly

the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.

A new baby just dropped.

And it's the most beautiful.

And it's like, oh, new baby just dropped.

It's like this.

This is the most beautiful baby.

The odds are there of every baby he sees is just a little better than the previous baby.

Yeah.

That's natural selection.

It's good news for everybody.

It's getting hotter.

Babies are all getting better.

The earth is getting hotter.

Babies are getting hotter.

Yeah.

Let's ride.

Guys, good news.

Every human that's coming out, they're all stronger, faster.

They're hot, you guys.

Right out the oven.

They're hot.

Oh my God.

The doctor's like, your baby's hot.

Your baby is hot.

It's like, he said my baby was the most beautiful baby he's ever seen.

He's like, he's he told me my baby was hot.

He said my baby was sexy.

What?

Bring that titty Ginny over.

He said, give me that scape.

Your baby's a hack.

Nah.

Okay.

Can I say, though, okay, because I think babies are super cute, right?

Some, most.

Babies are super cute.

I think all babies are really cute, but sometimes you'll, like,

a friend of yours, right?

Like, you'll know someone, and they're an attractive person, but they'll show you a baby photo and you're like, oh my God.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Bad, bad.

You turned out good.

But like, whoa,

oh, yeah.

And enough.

Your parents probably didn't know what was going to happen.

Right.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

Well.

I'm glad that she also seems like she accepted accountability, which I guess gets you into the Am I the Devil Club.

In that one comment, yeah, it seems like she gets it

a little bit, hopefully.

Yeah.

But still funny.

Yeah.

Damn.

Well, these were some, this was a lot of jealousy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And envy.

And some envy.

And some envy.

Little sprinkles of envy in there.

Yeah.

Thank you both for joining me.

I feel like I learned something.

What was it?

You don't know?

Yeah, I don't know.

But I just feel it.

Maybe some of a baby.

I think I did.

I don't know what it is, but I think I learned something.

That's great.

Hey, that's good.

Yeah.

Well, thank you both for being here.

You guys are definitely the second best guests I've ever had.

I think I just learned something else.

Just kidding.

You're the best guests I've ever had on this show.

Oh, he says that to everybody.

Thank you for watching.

Let us know what other themes and subreddits you'd like to see on this show.

And we'll see you next Saturday.

Bye.

Bye.

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