Critical FAIL Stories | Reading Reddit Stories

Speaker 1 What do you think makes the perfect snack?

Speaker 2 Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

Speaker 1 Could you be more specific?

Speaker 2 When it's cravenient. Okay.
Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right now in the street at AM PM, or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at AM PM.

Speaker 2 I'm seeing a pattern here. Well, yeah, we're talking about what I crave.

Speaker 1 Which is anything from AM P.M.

Speaker 2 What more could you want? Stop by AMPM, where the snacks and drinks are perfectly cravable and convenient. That's cravenience.
A.M. P.M., too much good stuff.

Speaker 2 If you're a maintenance supervisor at a manufacturing facility and your machinery isn't working right, Granger knows you need to understand what's wrong as soon as possible.

Speaker 2 So when a conveyor motor falters, Granger offers diagnostic tools like calibration kits and multimeters to help you identify and fix the problem.

Speaker 2 With Granger, you can be confident you have everything you need to keep your facility running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRANGER, clickgranger.com, or just stop by.
Granger for the ones who get it done.

Speaker 2 Hello, and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today the theme is gaming, a lot of tabletop gaming.

Speaker 2 We have two people here who know a little bit about tabletop gaming. We have Spencer and George Primavera

Speaker 2 joining us. What's up? Two game masters.

Speaker 2 Gamers.

Speaker 2 You guys are professional gamers. Quite literally.
On the regular, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Spencer, I mean, I don't know where you do your gaming.

Speaker 2 I don't know anymore. Yeah, but George, you're over.

Speaker 2 You're over at Critical Role doing all sorts of fun. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I am one of the co-DMs for the Reslayer's Take on Critical Role.

Speaker 2 I'm the DM for a podcast called Hero Club and do all sorts of D ⁇ D related stuff on a podcast called Total Party Skill. So I'm all up in the DD world right now.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And if you haven't checked out Dread, our Dread series over at Sprash Games, George is the one who runs all those stories for us. And man, it's always a blast.
Those are so fun.

Speaker 2 If you haven't checked those out, go check those out.

Speaker 2 I think it's the best thing we've done at Smosh Games. Oh, man.
It's a lot of fun. Every time it's a blast.

Speaker 2 So board games, there's some video game stories in here, but board games really are a catalyst for a lot of drama, right? Like that'll put people to the test.

Speaker 2 We've seen it time and time again over at Smosh Games, right? I mean, we have a blast. I think we do a great job, but things can get heated.

Speaker 2 So when we're talking about families, uh partners playing board games shit can get real oh yeah we're about to see uh some stories here and see what happens our first story comes from am i the asshole am i the asshole for not wanting to play a game my girlfriend created

Speaker 2 oh no

Speaker 2 oh no

Speaker 2 Dude, already. That's the heater.

Speaker 2 Oh, man, Kim coming out hot. So we have a 27-year-old guy here.

Speaker 2 He says, my girlfriend, who's 24, has been working on a visual novel game as a side project for almost two years and recently finished it.

Speaker 2 She wanted me to play it, but I initially declined since I'm not into visual novels or reading long stories. But after she begged, I gave it a try and played for a good 15 minutes.

Speaker 2 Now I can tell she put in a lot of effort in the writing and the art, and it was a good start, but I just got tired of reading and stopped.

Speaker 2 She asked what I thought and wanted me to eventually finish it and tell her what I thought about the choices and the endings, but I told her I had no plans to.

Speaker 2 She looked shocked and asked if it was boring.

Speaker 2 I told her no, it's just that I'm just not into this type of genre and she knows I'm not into reading, but asked me to make an exception this time since she made it.

Speaker 2 I got upset because I think she is being childish and wants to blackmail me into doing something I don't want. After I made it clear I wasn't continuing, she hasn't talked to me since.

Speaker 2 I already know that she is talented and smart so just because I don't want to play it doesn't mean I don't support her.

Speaker 2 Some of my friends agree she's being immature, but others think I should be more supportive. So am I the asshole?

Speaker 2 This is literally how it feels when you guys aren't into a game that I put on Smash Games.

Speaker 2 Because board games suck.

Speaker 2 Whenever Angel and Amanda talk during Resident Evil, I pause the game. I'm like, so you guys, I really couldn't.
I created this.

Speaker 2 You guys aren't into this?

Speaker 2 Oh, man. What a loose use of the word blackmail.
Yeah, I was going to say blackmail.

Speaker 2 When he threw a blackmail, I was like, what is that? Like, wait, what? You mean it's asking? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 What was the line he said? He's like, I'm not going to put any more time into this. He's putting 15 minutes.
15 minutes. At least you should work out for two years.
I don't like to read.

Speaker 2 It's like, babe, you know I don't like reading.

Speaker 2 Reading and artwork?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's a whole lot, babe. Babe, you don't know.
You know I don't love engaging with the things you've created.

Speaker 2 Right. Yeah, I think he's like missing, he's clearly missing the entire point of like, oh, this isn't my genre.
It's like, that's cool, man. Who cares? Yeah, it doesn't really matter.

Speaker 2 You know, she's been working on this for two years

Speaker 2 at least if he had said an hour Maybe I might have felt like a little like sliver of like oh you gave it the old college truck 15 minutes 15 minutes is crazy how full a cereal is 15 minutes She's also she's not even like asking him like to read it and enjoy it like she's like i want your help like i'm worried here's something i'm passionate about here's something i'm working on can i get your opinion on this and that could be anything you know like i don't what does he care about?

Speaker 2 I don't fucking know what this guy actually likes.

Speaker 2 That guy likes Gatorade and biceps. He's like,

Speaker 2 I don't read. Sorry, babe.
I'm done reading. I got to go back to watching porn.

Speaker 2 I just, if anything, the fact that he doesn't like it means that he would probably have valuable insight to improve it and make it more broadly applicable if he actually cared about it.

Speaker 2 He'd have like a non-feedback. Yeah, like a non,

Speaker 2 just a different perspective on it.

Speaker 2 And he's even admitting, like, she's, she's put in a lot of effort and it was really, it's a good start. I just got tired of reading and stopped.

Speaker 2 It's like, okay, so you even acknowledge that it's not like bad. I got tired of reading.
Yeah. It's such like a, what does that mean? You just like you went like, oh, oh, oh,

Speaker 2 my eyes hurt. Like, revisit it, like, come back to it.
But he's like,

Speaker 2 I'm not going to revisit it. Yeah, I'm not going to.
That's friggin wild, man.

Speaker 2 I also think it's like, it's such a show of like care, especially like this is his girlfriend, right? You know, like, this is, this is his partner.

Speaker 2 Like, showing interest in someone's interest is almost more important than anything, right?

Speaker 2 And so he's just like, if you ever like watched a movie for something, like if it's like, oh, if your partner's like, oh, like, I want you to see this movie with me, it's like one of my favorite movies.

Speaker 2 It's like, okay. Yeah.
And there's two hours. Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 I, yeah, I'm, I'm such a believer in that because there are, I'm not really a believer of like, like, that's not my genre, so I don't partake in it, right? I'm like, anything can be fun.

Speaker 2 What a closed-minded way to approach everything.

Speaker 2 Anything can be fun, but I'm like, oh, if something matters to someone, like, I'll check it out to understand why you like it or to learn more about you in the process.

Speaker 2 He's kind of removed, like, he's not thinking about the relationship element of this.

Speaker 2 He's just thinking about this thing in itself as if he found it at a store and he's like, oh, well, I'm not into this. Like, that's cool.
That's fine.

Speaker 2 You don't owe like anything to a thing you randomly found.

Speaker 2 But like, you know, you should give your partner attention and show try to share their interests in a way that is productive and I don't know the whole element of I'm not gonna revisit it is so crazy to me.

Speaker 2 Just do it tomorrow if you're not feeling it today. Yeah, I think I'm never gonna read that again.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 You gotta power through those first 15 minutes. The game really opens up after the first 15 minutes.
Yeah, seriously.

Speaker 2 The only reason I was even a little apprehensive about like, maybe this guy's got nothing is like maybe she laid their relationship bare in this novel.

Speaker 2 Where it's like, yeah, hey, this is like, it's like about our relationship. It's like, well, well, I don't know.
That's it. That would be him being uncomfortable with it.
Uncomfortable with it.

Speaker 2 But this is him being like, no. Oh, I can't do this anymore.
Yeah, like, this is brutal. Like, if I knew someone, she's like, yeah, I've been working on this visual novel for two years.

Speaker 2 And I asked my boyfriend if he could read it. And he spent 15 minutes on it and then said, no, I'm good.
I'd be like, damn. I know you can do it.

Speaker 2 Like, damn, okay. So the bar's there.
All right.

Speaker 2 The verdict is asshole.

Speaker 2 Comments, you're the asshole. Your girlfriend worked for years on this project, and you can't be bothered to spend an hour or two supporting her by playing it.
You're the immature one here.

Speaker 2 Partners do things for each other. Get off the internet and apologize to her.
It's 25,000 upvotes. He probably spent like 15 minutes on this post.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
He wrote this whole post? Yeah. He spent more time on this game.
He's easily more than 15.

Speaker 2 Someone said, you're the asshole. Relationships require effort.
If you aren't willing to put in the effort to support her work and do something for her, I hope she can find someone who does.

Speaker 2 Lastly, Lastly, someone said, You're the asshole. Why did you ask here? You realize you have to read the answers, right?

Speaker 2 Tell your girlfriend you prefer to read bullshit from strangers before her game and then come here and tell us how it goes. We would like reading that.

Speaker 2 It sounds like she needs like a sensitive gamer boyfriend. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Girls just don't even see us gamers as guys.

Speaker 2 Oh, dude. She wants me to read.
Like, I don't know. I'm like scared of reading.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 Have you guys ever read a visual or done a, played a visual novel? I don't think I have.

Speaker 2 That's like a choice-based visual medium, right? That you kind of like archive it through the story. It's a choose your own adventure in a video game.
Yeah, with pictures. Yeah.
Oh, that sounds cool.

Speaker 2 That does sound cool.

Speaker 2 I've read Goosebumps Choose Your Own Adventures, so I guess I have. It's a story.
I mean, it's like, it's like, hey, bro, do you enjoy storytelling? Yeah. That's right.
It's like, bro, fancy a story.

Speaker 2 Fancy a story. Fancy a tale.

Speaker 2 The closest that I've had that I definitely hit this kind of thing where I'm like, I'm just not in the zone for this was this game called Disco Elysium.

Speaker 2 It's one of the best games ever made, but it's like truly

Speaker 2 just, it's like, oh, every time your character talks to someone, it's like, you're going to be reading for like 10 minutes.

Speaker 2 Courtney Miller's Disco Elysium.

Speaker 2 But it's like intense stuff. I don't have five minutes for this.
I was like, uh-uh.

Speaker 2 But no, I think that is closest. Or, I mean, what was the game you and Damien played forever ago? Like Doki Doki Literature.
Doki Doki Literature Collection.

Speaker 2 Close. Yeah.
And then also there's Dream Daddy. Yeah, exactly.
I've not heard of a single one of these so far. These are like dating sims.
So it's like

Speaker 2 Dream Daddy is the one where like you're a new dad in this in this neighborhood where there's tons of hot dads. And you're talking to other hot dads.

Speaker 2 You're a hot dad talking to other hot dads. Okay, cool.
It's really cool.

Speaker 2 I think dating sims and visual novels are like often conflated.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 I think there's a lot of elements that they share. There's a walking simulator that is kind of a visual novel that I love called Fire Watch.
Oh, I love Firewatch. That feels like a lot of people.

Speaker 2 Our sound guy, Scott, loves Firewatch too. I saw his hands pumping in the air.

Speaker 2 Firewatch is incredible.

Speaker 2 Yeah. No, but no, I respect it, but I have not participated too much.
But I wouldn't play more than 15 minutes.

Speaker 2 I'd probably play a little bit more. Otherwise, that's blackmail.
Yeah. Otherwise,

Speaker 2 essentially.

Speaker 2 Anytime, yeah, if your partner makes you do something, I'm like, I'm being blackmailed. You're committing fraud right now.

Speaker 2 Legally, I shouldn't be talking to you.

Speaker 1 Life gets messy. Spills, stains, and kid chaos.
But with Anime, cleaning up is easy. Our sofas are fully machine washable, inside and out, so you never have to stress about messes again.

Speaker 1 Made with liquid and stain-resistant fabrics, that means fewer stains and more peace of mind.

Speaker 1 Designed for real life, our sofas feature changeable fabric covers, allowing you to refresh your style anytime. Need flexibility? Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa effortlessly.

Speaker 1 Perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes. Plus, they're earth-friendly and built to last.
That's why over 200,000 happy customers have made the switch.

Speaker 1 Get early access to Black Friday pricing right now. Sofas started just $699.

Speaker 1 Visit washable sofas.com now and and bring home a sofa made for life. That's washablesofas.com.
Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Speaker 2 Back to the show. Our next story comes from the subreddit D ⁇ D horror stories.
Oh, no, they're always scary. It's like it's scary campaigns you can play with your friends.
Yeah. Oh, I wish.
Okay.

Speaker 2 DM kills my character for no reason.

Speaker 2 This story happened a couple of years ago. Basically, it was me and I think three or four other friends.

Speaker 2 Typically, I would DM and after my campaign fizzled out for whatever reason, one of my players wanted to try DMing. I helped him set up a campaign.

Speaker 2 The time comes for him to start DMing the campaign I helped him build. I think we started at level one or two.
I was playing a tiefling bard.

Speaker 2 The other players were, I think, a druid, a barbarian, and an artificer. After a couple of sessions, it was going pretty smooth.
We were having a good time.

Speaker 2 At one point, I had to miss a session, but was cool with them continuing without me. The next session, I was there and I joined back with the party before we went into a dungeon.

Speaker 2 We went into the dungeon and we were going through it like normal, just some puzzles.

Speaker 2 But before our first combat, the DM decided to tell me that since I was rusty after missing a session, I had disadvantage on every role in combat. That annoyed me, but I just went with it.

Speaker 2 I had taken some damage, but figured I'd be fine because I usually play backline support.

Speaker 2 Eventually, we approach a big door, and I decide to enter the room and suddenly get attacked by a big bird, and it takes me down to one hit point.

Speaker 2 The rest of the party makes their way in to try to help me, but DM decides that despite my teammates wanting to protect me and attacking the bird, the DM decides that the bird continues to attack me, obviously downing me.

Speaker 2 I'm a little baffled at that decision, but it's whatever. So I just start rolling my saving throws on my turn, but DM says the bird continues to attack me because it hates you.

Speaker 2 So it hits me again and i don't know if this is a real rule but he said that it's an automatic two failed death saves i had that's true but it is oh that's real george is like i i support the dam if you gotta hit a melee and you're and you're making your death saves it's two failed death saves but I had succeeded my first death save and I succeeded the next one after the attack.

Speaker 2 So I was hoping to hold out for one more round to survive, but for some reason this bird takes a legendary action despite this not even being a boss, not meaning to be a tough encounter, just a creature in a dungeon.

Speaker 2 This is the SpongeBob. I don't know.
I guess he just doesn't like you.

Speaker 2 And it kills me for this, I would hope understandably, pisses me off.

Speaker 2 And because there is no reason a DM should fish for a kill like that, I was just stuck spectating afterward and sat there for upward of an hour.

Speaker 2 After that session, I was barely invested in my character or the story.

Speaker 2 You could read a visual novel. You can play four of my girlfriend's visual novels.

Speaker 2 After that session, I was barely invested in my character or the story because the DM set the precedent that he could just kill me out of the blue and remove my story from the rest of the campaign.

Speaker 2 I think the campaign ended fine, but I just had zero agency for the rest of the campaign. George,

Speaker 2 can I ask a question?

Speaker 2 How would you justify a bird in a dungeon? A great question.

Speaker 2 It's like, maybe it's like a, like, a keyway.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like a floor-dwelling bird. Hole in.
Oh, a floor-dwelling bird. So like an ostrich? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I couldn't think of the word a non-non-flying bird. Flightless bird, yes.
Without flight.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Maybe eggs that don't like the sun.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 There's like burrowing owls. It should be a giant burrowing owl.
An owl bear would be a perfect example of a cave-dwelling bird creature. So maybe there was setup in the guy that just didn't clock it.

Speaker 2 The funny thing is about that story is that it's all kind of of fair game, except for the first thing, which is insane, where you're like, you're rusty as a heroic adventurer, disadvantage if people don't know.

Speaker 2 If you have disadvantage on every roll, you're not going to do anything. It's not going to be a fun game.
There's a reason that you only have disadvantage a little bit of the time.

Speaker 2 So that's basically the DM giving away the game there: like, you're not going to be able to have fun today. There's no official rules in DD of if you miss a session,

Speaker 2 your character now sucks. Goodness gracious, no.

Speaker 2 The it hates you is one of the craziest things I've ever heard. Could the DM have done everything they did there? Technically,

Speaker 2 technically. Technically, if they hate someone.
Yeah, that sounds good. So although, so that one is not for legit, and then so it takes a legendary action.

Speaker 2 That is, I think, dude. Technically, they use the full might of the DM's toolbox to be addicted to kill him.

Speaker 2 Technically, they've broken no rules except for that disadvantaged nonsense.

Speaker 2 So, overall, fair game, but is

Speaker 2 do you think this person because the verdict on this one on DD horror stories is is it a bad DM or not? Is it a bad DM or not? And like, it's fair game, but it's shitty DMing.

Speaker 2 To me, it's just it's so funny that I can't be mad at this DM where it's like, yeah, it's like, well, like, what? You're not feeling good, so like, everything sucks.

Speaker 2 It's like, and also, this thing hates you. Like, that's like, that's really good.
You want the bird that just saw you hates you.

Speaker 2 What if that was like the bird's nest, like, and he kind of bursts through the door

Speaker 2 going first? Like, it's reckless. As I will say,

Speaker 2 perhaps the better choice there is to go after the other threatening party members. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But hey, man, secure that kill if you gotta, I guess. Just maybe you don't give

Speaker 2 disadvantage to everything. That's basically, you're rolling two dice and taking the lower result.

Speaker 2 So you're gonna roll

Speaker 2 poorly.

Speaker 2 That's so funny. That's incredible.
That like makes me want to play D and D.

Speaker 2 I love a game where it's just you can be like, fuck you.

Speaker 2 You would like paranoia. Yeah, no, I think that's a good idea.
That's a great CTRPG. But yeah, there is,

Speaker 2 that is cuckoo bananas. That is amazing.

Speaker 2 Comments. Yeah, this DM is an immature child.
If the DM had a problem with you missing a game, they should have talked with you about it like an adult.

Speaker 2 You don't punish people in-game for real-life issues. OP said, not to mention the session I missed was little more than a shopping episode.
Oh, then what are you doing? What are we doing here?

Speaker 2 Maybe you ought to throw a bird repellent.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. We learned a lot at Macy's, though.

Speaker 2 Someone said, unless you are constantly late or a no-show, and that was the reason your own campaign fell apart, then this is seriously egregious.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't have even gone back, just packed my stuff and left right then and there.

Speaker 2 Lastly, someone said, as the bird furiously claws and pecks at you, it squawks, you shouldn't have missed the last section.

Speaker 2 Rom kid does. I hate you.

Speaker 2 The justification in a storyline of like, why is it attacking me? It's like, it hates you. Yeah.
It's just really funny. Very funny.

Speaker 2 We need to, can we promise in the next dread to have a moment where some

Speaker 2 monster attacks, someone and they're like, why? It's like, it hates me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we haven't fought enough animals in dread. I think that's, yeah, that'll be my

Speaker 2 note. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Got it. Roger Vat.
Elephant. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 Wow. Oh, that's unbelievable.

Speaker 2 Damn. Have you ever experienced like in DD sessions where, obviously, because I don't feel like you would ever do this as a DM.
Gosh.

Speaker 2 Have you witnessed this type of behavior? Like when it blew up, like just punishing, like not this extremely. So not, this is long enough ago that I think I can say it.

Speaker 2 There was a character who was role-playing, like they had just taken down like a zombie and they were like, you know, as their character, they're like a monk. They're doing like a little ceremony to

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 2 they feel bad that they killed the zombie before like looking for a cure or whatever and the dm didn't like that because they were religious and viewed it as something that wasn't religious and so they uh fireballed

Speaker 2 satan's game they fireballed that person out of nowhere and just added enemies because they saw a ritual they didn't like and it was the most uncomfortable I've ever been in a player seat.

Speaker 2 That's God.

Speaker 2 Yeah. They're like, and God doesn't like you.
And God, and God, Dean. Sorry, God punished you.
Five cleanses. Yeah, right.
Wow.

Speaker 2 That whole DM as like the arbiter of the real life is so crazy. And

Speaker 2 a religious DM that like, you know, like infuses the campaign with like God. That feels really Christianity is like really funny.

Speaker 2 It's extremely funny because wasn't like D and D hated by the religious community. It's like a

Speaker 2 D, yes. Oh, 100%.
Anything with like occult and witchcraft and stuff like that was immediately, it was like a moral panic.

Speaker 2 So everybody was just trying to blame stuff to be like, look how crazy this game is. And Gary Gygax was like, I just want to fight a bear with the owl face.
Like, stop, you know.

Speaker 2 That was a good Tim impression. R.I.T.
guy. Tim? We are I.T.
guy. Okay.
Yeah. What was Tim doing in the 80s?

Speaker 2 Yeah. I also feel like missing games is whenever I don't play D ⁇ D outside of like we've played here, but I haven't played D ⁇ D in my regular life.

Speaker 2 But hearing about it, I feel like missing games is like one of the most common things in D D. It's impossible to get a bunch of adults together on a regular basis.
So missing games is normal.

Speaker 2 To be expected.

Speaker 2 And like, unless you're, it's like a broadcast and like you're performing it for other people, then those obligations extend a little further.

Speaker 2 But if it's a personal game, I can't tell you how many times I've been in a game with like six people that are supposed to show up and four people show up. And that's like great.
Those can play.

Speaker 2 Those are great. Amazing.
They play you know what i mean and to punish somebody for not showing up um

Speaker 2 is not gonna make them show up next time right you know um it i also feel like the the whole point of it that that i feel like most of the dnd horror stories we've read is it seems like dms forget is like the point of it is to have fun yes so when you're making choices that are just actually making it all a bummer the dm seat is a seductive seat for an asshole

Speaker 2 it's like oh i can lord over all my friends. And yeah,

Speaker 2 it can make it a monster if you're not trusting everybody around the table.

Speaker 2 That's why it's like a weird thing when like adults re-enter into like an imagination land and you realize, oh, we can still hurt each other's feelings. Yeah.
It's like,

Speaker 2 this is great.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that pretend thing you said to me did hurt my feelings because you were being a jerk in real life. Kind of level about that.
Oh, man. Just have grace with your players if you're a DM.

Speaker 2 That's just, this should be lesson number one, two, and three. Sure.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 All right, our next story.

Speaker 2 So this was an ad on Craigslist that was reposted onto RPG Horror Stories. Oh, that's

Speaker 2 that's tough. That's a rough start.
I get a Facebook marketplace for my D ⁇ D.

Speaker 2 Honestly, this Craigslist ad could have been made by Spencer.

Speaker 1 There's nothing like sinking into luxury. Anibay sofas combine ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price.

Speaker 1 Anibay has designed the only fully machine washable sofa from top to bottom. The stain-resistant performance fabric slip covers and cloud-like frame duvet can go straight into your wash.

Speaker 1 Perfect for anyone with kids, pets, or anyone who loves an easy-to-clean, spotless sofa. With a modular design and changeable slip covers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style.

Speaker 1 Whether you need a single chair, love seat, or a luxuriously large sectional, Anibay has you covered. Visit washable sofas.com to upgrade your home.

Speaker 1 Sofas start at just $699 and right now, get early access to Black Friday savings, up to 60% off store-wide with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Shop now at washable sofas.com.

Speaker 2 Add a little

Speaker 1 to your life. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Speaker 2 And it reads.

Speaker 2 Beautiful priestess needed for DD.

Speaker 2 You got to round out the party.

Speaker 2 We need a healer. We need a healer.

Speaker 2 We're finding some underground owls.

Speaker 2 So mind you, this was posted on Craigslist. Beautiful priestess is a terrible.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Hi, my group of friends, 30-year-old men, have a multi-year Dungeons and Dragons adventure going.

Speaker 2 This Sunday, there's a small scene where we encounter a beautiful naked priestess, and I thought it would be fun to have an actor play the part.

Speaker 2 It would require you to be topless on our virtual Zoom, So obviously you'd have to be comfortable with that. Our session starts at 4 p.m.
this Sunday. The one Sunday night?

Speaker 2 It's like, so is one of you guys get married or

Speaker 2 the one trick is I don't know exactly when we will encounter this priestess, but it will be at some point. She's just camera off just with their shirt off.

Speaker 2 The one trick is I don't know exactly when we will encounter this priestess, but it will be at some point between 4 to 6 p.m. Eastern time.

Speaker 2 Ideally, you could be be available in the time frame, and then I can text you the precise time to join the Zoom link. The actual scene won't be more than five minutes, so it won't be much acting.

Speaker 2 I'll provide some guidance on the part beforehand. Feel free to reply with any questions.
Also, if you could include a picture with your reply, that would be helpful.

Speaker 2 Thanks.

Speaker 2 I've never thought of

Speaker 2 the idea of hiring an actor to join in on a Zoom like for D ⁇ D, it sounds really funny. I would love it to hire some like 70-year-old

Speaker 2 guy who'd be like, oh, we're going to go talk to the wise wizard and not even give the actor much beforehand. But I'm like, well, my phone is like, whatever he says, go.

Speaker 2 Got a cameo from someone who doesn't know D ⁇ D. And it's like...

Speaker 2 Fuck, dude.

Speaker 2 Boston Robb's going to tell us where the magic sword is.

Speaker 2 That's awesome that'd be sick as fuck yeah cameo dnd where it's like you come like you just have a cameo up for like every like npc it's like can you ask them that it's like give me a hundred dollars and we can get another cameo from them oh my god that's so

Speaker 2 can i can i have a crazy opinion yeah i i don't think like

Speaker 2 i see nothing wrong with is she getting paid that's a question okay okay apparently op was asking a uh a hundred dollars

Speaker 2 that's not enough

Speaker 2 i don't think that's enough i think in la that what might not be enough but like somewhere else maybe maybe but like if you're getting paid if you're if you're like already on like you know showing showing your breasts on the internet like you know it like that it sounds like it could be a fun little side quest no pun intended but like i'm thinking as a player who's not expecting that i i that would be a little confrontational i might be uncomfortable i don't think i

Speaker 2 i don't know that is but if everyone's like if like if everyone's in the know everyone's like consenting i think it's hilarious Man. And I think it's hilarious to put the ask out there.

Speaker 2 Look, Pam from Reno is calling in. It's like, priestess, where should we go?

Speaker 2 You're going to want to go.

Speaker 2 You'll read three monkeys. Uncrumbling in the paper.

Speaker 2 Find the base of the waterfall and put your palm upon the gray slate rock.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 Just imagine you're just calling and smoking a cigarette.

Speaker 2 I think this is awesome.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 I think this is like the funniest thing you could do. I mean, look, when people like, like, because we'll.
It makes me want to die. It's like, you know, like, no,

Speaker 2 if I were actually involved in this, I would, I wouldn't want to actually be involved in this.

Speaker 2 But, like, well, it's like, to me, it's like, you know, if someone's like, oh, and there's going to be like a stripper at this like bachelor party. I'm like, I actually don't want to go.

Speaker 2 I don't want to see this. I don't want to be anywhere near this.
But if, like, if you're like, yeah, then we're having someone like call call in as like the tough

Speaker 2 it's funny right right yeah there is a major element of like clearly this is a consenting individual that's all fine I want to be nowhere near this yeah oh yeah if I was there I'd be like no thanks no dude I'll be logging out here's the problem with zoom though is that like I don't trust that these guys aren't gonna record screenshots they're gonna record this oh yeah and it's like hey like come on that's not worth a hundred dollars no no protection that's more no that's there there is a lot of nuance there's tons of nuance where it's like I get what you're saying saying of like, hey, like, if you're paying someone and they said they're down,

Speaker 2 fine. So do I want to be in that game? So do I want to be in the game? No.

Speaker 2 It's still fun as fuck. It's not lasting five minutes.
You'll be like, oh, priestess, actually, not yet. We are.

Speaker 2 Join us on our cliff.

Speaker 2 And the DM's like, you have to join them.

Speaker 2 We'll see you next week. I love giving her an idea.
You're like, I'm going to text you somewhere between four and six. That's like the beginning of Drive.

Speaker 2 It's like, I'm going to give you a five-minute window.

Speaker 2 dude.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 imagine the hour and 55 minutes.

Speaker 2 Just at your computer, just no, Sharon, just

Speaker 2 your reflection and the fucking.

Speaker 2 I'm going to need a beautiful naked priest hanging dongs. 50 bucks an hour.
50 bucks an hour.

Speaker 2 Comments, I'm on the fence with this. It seems pretty straight and upfront about what they're looking at.

Speaker 2 Even if it feels a bit, even if it feels a bit cringy, I know a couple of extroverted RPG playing friends who wouldn't immediately rule this out, though they'd certainly have questions.

Speaker 2 And one would definitely be whether the players were all on board with the nudity.

Speaker 2 Otherwise, I'd say there's enough info for it to seem like a legit inquiry for a brief cameo from an outsider, rather than just a group of guys wanting to see some boobs.

Speaker 2 There's a whole internet to see boobs on. Loki, yeah.

Speaker 2 Someone said my DM will occasionally ask us to play an NPC for a session or two in one of the other campaigns he runs. It's pretty fun.

Speaker 2 Okay, just not adding anything to the story. Dude, I played a video game with my friend once.
It was pretty fun. Have you guys ever checked out visual novels?

Speaker 2 That's just hilarious. That's a really funny thing.
That's some really funny stuff. Oh, man.
Something about it.

Speaker 2 I'm going to be telling people about that.

Speaker 2 I'm going to tell people about the story. I've heard of people hiring cosplayers to come on and do, like, they dress up in a sorcerer outfit and then they do like a little cameo.
That's cool.

Speaker 2 And that's you know, if you got the money to pay somebody to do that, I do think that's cool. Where the Craigslist of it all

Speaker 2 anything on Craigslist is crazy. Craigslist ads are always the most insane shit you'll ever read because it requires a level of honesty about stuff.

Speaker 2 Because it's like, okay, I need to put this ask out here and I need to be asking specifically what I want. And it's always amazing.
It's incredible. Unfiltered.
Yeah, truly.

Speaker 1 There are a lot of people in the comments being like, I do it.

Speaker 2 No, that's the other thing. It's like, I feel like people are in a space where it's like, people are getting more and more comfortable where it's like, you know, truly, like, it's okay.

Speaker 2 Like, if I, like, as long as you're okay with it, like, living in perpetuity, you know, which is a whole other,

Speaker 2 I don't know, as long as everyone's okay with it. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I can still laugh. Totally.
Yeah. As long as legally I'm allowed to laugh.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's still funny if everybody said yes to it.
Yeah. To that one comment, let's be 100% clear.
That's got to be 80

Speaker 2 there is a lot of element in play of these guys want to see some boobs and it's also like i i mean like the the character is a is a sexy priestess it and you have to submit a photo to me the entire thing is so unnecessary yeah like that's what makes it funny it's like nothing about this needs to happen you're going the extra mile in like such an unnecessary stupid way that's why i feel like the players can't possibly know about it Because you think the players don't know?

Speaker 2 There's no chance the DM is checking with the players being like, hey guys, five minutes of this game.

Speaker 2 Can I

Speaker 2 be crazy? I need to do it.

Speaker 2 And he punches them if they're can I pitch something that would be incredible, which is you hire two different actors, you pay them both up front at the start, and you go, you may or may not be needed.

Speaker 2 But it comes to a part where the cast of characters is like, okay, there's two doors.

Speaker 2 Behind one is a sexy priestess, and behind the other is a naked man who's really gross.

Speaker 2 It's just like, make your choice wisely.

Speaker 2 He's waiting. Uncle Steve, get

Speaker 2 Hey guys, I'm topless over here

Speaker 2 Welcome to my grotto and the other is Danny DeVito and it's like it's kind of a tough choice It's like I kind of want to see Danny DeVito though

Speaker 2 in this RPG. Yeah, it's tough

Speaker 2 Incredible

Speaker 2 incredible shit. All right, our next story

Speaker 2 Am I the asshole for not giving my coworker my day off because I want to play a video game?

Speaker 2 Oh, all right. Go on.

Speaker 2 Okay, so anyone in the video game world knows that next week the new Legend of Zelda game comes out after like five plus years of waiting. I'm a massive fan.

Speaker 2 When the release date was revealed, I immediately requested PTO for that date as I plan on staying home that day and enjoying the new game.

Speaker 2 What I didn't realize was that the day I asked off for is the Friday before Mother's Day. My company has had to limit the requests off for that date now as many people have been asking for it off.

Speaker 2 I had previously told some of my coworkers I was planning on staying home to play the game, and I guess word got around because one of my other coworkers asked me after work to give her my PTO so she can travel for Mother's Day.

Speaker 2 I explained to her that I requested this day off months ago for a specific reason, and I really wasn't willing to change it.

Speaker 2 She got pretty upset with me claiming I care more about video games than family and whatnot. I honestly don't really care about her not being able to travel because I feel like

Speaker 2 her. I honestly don't really care about her not being able to travel because I feel like if this was an important date, then you would have requested off early like I did.

Speaker 2 Anyways, I firmly told her no. Oh, that's how priorities were.

Speaker 2 Anyways, I firmly told her no, but she told some of my other coworkers and they are all pissed at me and calling me an a-hole for not giving up the date. Am I the asshole? Okay.
Oh, man.

Speaker 2 I think it's another case of it's kind of funny. Oh, yeah.
It's definitely fun. It's like, it's also like Mother's Day weekend? Right, what is this business? I wonder.
It must be.

Speaker 2 Who's traveling on Mother's Day week? I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 I guess some people might travel to see their moms.

Speaker 2 I'll call my mom.

Speaker 2 I haven't taken a plane for Mother's Day. No, I have not either.

Speaker 2 But you can, like, I'll send an edible arrangement. Whoa.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 2 Yeah, to me, to me,

Speaker 2 it's also like,

Speaker 2 yeah, it's like, why he took the

Speaker 2 PTO? I don't know. It just doesn't feel like...
I've never... Why is it his responsibility? Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 This is one of those where we work in a sphere where it's hard to like, I understand jobs work differently, but in our job, it's not like, oh, someone else is taking PTO, so I can't. So I have to.

Speaker 2 I'm asking for them to switch it out. The idea of like asking someone to...
to take away their own PTO to give it to me. That's crazy.
I just wouldn't ever operate that way. I'd be like, oh, I can't.

Speaker 2 Like, I, oh, that's not an option for me. If you're asking somebody to give you their PTO, you're basically asking them to pay them.
I don't think it's giving the PTO. I think it's just.

Speaker 2 They need to go to work so that you can

Speaker 2 take off. So, like, can I take PTO? Yeah, instead of you taking.

Speaker 2 It's the equivalent of, like, cover my shift.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Then, oh, man, that is tough.
Because if I'm in the Legend of Zelda guy's seat, that's my time. It's like,

Speaker 2 it's my work hour. I decide that, right?

Speaker 2 PTO you can't really like say like well my PTO is because of what I'm doing with my PTO. Yeah, maybe that'll lunch.

Speaker 2 I deserve it more because he kind of has the point he's like I took it off months ago. Maybe this guy's mom stinks.
Yeah, and like,

Speaker 2 you know, you could kind of pull the like, oh, I would need more context for both. Cause yeah, on one hand, it's like, you know, what if, what if this woman's mom isn't doing well? Right.

Speaker 2 And then in the other case, it's like, hey, what if Zelda was the last game I ever played with my dad? Yep. And it's like, Zelda's really important to me.

Speaker 2 Like, you can pull those cards all day It's just like ultimately like who's more worthy of PCO it's like look I just I wish that they could both the workers are mad at each other.

Speaker 2 They shouldn't be mad at the system.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean of course the system is the ultimate bad guy here the fact that people can't take time off to see their families is a bigger issue but in regards to the situation at hand this guy's not an asshole he took PTO off

Speaker 2 it It's like that's the situation sucks for her like I it's the big thing about like is like weaponizing the reason for his PTO is like something that an employer could never do.

Speaker 2 So, a fellow employee should also not, I think. It's, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he, he, he went around telling everyone. That is, it's like, that is his fault.
He gave everyone the ammunition. Yeah, right.
Exactly.

Speaker 2 Because if someone was like, oh, like, I'm taking the day out to play this video game, like, okay, loser. Yeah.
I, I, I remember. You don't tell people you play video games.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, you're a secret gamer. I've never, never once divulged.
Nobody knows that Spencer plays video games. You wouldn't know know by looking at me.

Speaker 2 I should have had the shirt.

Speaker 2 I should have had that shirt on. It's like, I paused my game to be here.

Speaker 2 We didn't do cutaway gags in Reddit stories where it's like, you would know by looking at me, then it cuts to Shane, and then it comes back to me.

Speaker 2 And I've got the twirly hat on, and I pause my game to be here in a big lollipop.

Speaker 2 When people ask, well, it's like, it's like, oh, I'm taking the day off. It's like, why? It's like,

Speaker 2 you don't want to know. Yeah.
It's like saving the princess.

Speaker 2 Saving the princess. What if this isn't about Tears of the Kingdom? This is about Lynx Awakening, the remake.
Yeah, then you've got to go to the next one.

Speaker 2 It's like, bro, you got to.

Speaker 2 This came out early 2023. So this is Tears of the Kingdom.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I get it. I get it.
Yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 Tim. took the day off for

Speaker 2 Tears of the Kingdom. Yeah.
I think a lot of people talk about it. The guy you were making fun of earlier.

Speaker 2 Damn, I'm sorry. I don't know me.
I'm so sorry. I remember Courtney and I had a trip.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't have done anything about this, right? But we had like a big trip planned. She wanted me to play her visual.

Speaker 2 And I wouldn't do it for five minutes. But we had a big international trip planned.

Speaker 2 And I remember like having the date set for it and then being like, oh shit, when does Tears of the Kingdom come out? And I was like, I was like, I'm obviously not going to change our trip.

Speaker 2 Obviously, I'm not going to change it. I'm obviously not going to change it, but

Speaker 2 I was definitely like like relieved when i was like okay good the game comes out once we're back and downloaded

Speaker 2 i was definitely like fuck that's gonna suck if we're out of

Speaker 2 she's like wow isn't the isn't this monument gorgeous yeah whatever

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 it's really cool oh it's gotta mean a bike out of 15 wheels

Speaker 2 um comments on this not the asshole mother's day is listed on a calendar every year even though the actual date may vary poor planning on their part does not equal an emergency on yours you planned you deserve it, and it doesn't matter why you booked it off.

Speaker 2 For what it's worth, I've booked vacation around video game releases, and it's amazing. Enjoy your time off and your game.
Someone else said, not the asshole. Same goes for any other holiday.

Speaker 2 I'm child-free, my choice, and people always seem to think that means I should be the one working holidays. It doesn't matter if the reason you have the day off is for a video game.
It's your day off.

Speaker 2 Enjoy it. Lastly, someone said, not the asshole.
It doesn't matter why you took the PTO. It was approved and it is yours to take.
This is a management problem, not your problem. Agreed.

Speaker 2 Yeah, let's fix it management. I like seeing gamers protect other gamers.
Oh, yeah. Gamers together strong.
Well, if you go to Reddit, if you're playing with the game.

Speaker 2 If you go to Reddit, you're going to have gamers.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like, yeah, my wife was mad. I was playing video games in the delivery room.
It's like, bro, loser. Okay, our next story.
We are back on D ⁇ D horror stories.

Speaker 2 My player fell in love with me. Oh, no.
The DM, but I'm married, and one of the players is my my husband no dude this happened to Amanda in the last sponsor's Christmas

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 she fell in love with Carol yeah yes right oh god what a nightmare people

Speaker 2 Angel and Amanda were fighting tooth and nail for Carol

Speaker 2 I'm typing this on mobile so apologies for the formatting I've been playing DD with my husband for five years and this is my first campaign DMing we are playing with his friend group who are Pat, Mary, and Dylan, not real names.

Speaker 2 We have been playing for the last three months and everything has been going great so far. The party works well together and there is really no issue except Dylan.

Speaker 2 Dylan is playing a half orc barbarian who fell in love with a half elf named Shellia and this has been a progressing storyline.

Speaker 2 For reference, he is not the only one who is romancing in NPC and the rest of the party has not professed their love over text to me.

Speaker 2 After the session last night, the group went home and Dylan sent me a bunch of texts saying that he had noticed tension between us and that we can't deny it and he is open to taking the next steps.

Speaker 2 I am horrified, of course, and inform my husband immediately because this is his friend. My husband texts Dylan for a bit, then calls and berates him for his actions.

Speaker 2 Dylan then says that my husband is standing in the way of our love and my husband hangs up and blocks him on both of our phones.

Speaker 2 We discussed next steps and decided to cancel DD for the time being because I am freaked out. The rest of the group are understanding, but man, this has been a weird Christmas.

Speaker 1 There's nothing like sinking into luxury. Anibay sofas combine ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price.

Speaker 1 Anibay has designed the only fully machine washable sofa from top to bottom. The stain-resistant performance fabric slip covers and cloud-like frame duvet can go straight into your wash.

Speaker 1 Perfect for anyone with kids, pets, or anyone who loves an easy-to-clean, spotless sofa. With a modular design and changeable slip covers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style.

Speaker 1 Whether you need a single chair, love seat, or a luxuriously large sectional, Annabe has you covered. Visit washable sofas.com to upgrade your home.

Speaker 1 Sofas start at just $699 and right now, get early access to Black Friday savings, up to 60% off store-wide, with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Shop now at washable sofas.com.

Speaker 2 Add a little

Speaker 1 to your life. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Speaker 2 What? Oh!

Speaker 2 They just die-hard at that where they suck Christmas at the end.

Speaker 2 And by the way, promise tomorrow. Yeah, wow.
It was the best summer ever. Oh, this was posted on Christmas of last year.
Oh, my goodness. This was posted on our Christmas.

Speaker 2 Our last year. Christmas.

Speaker 2 Isn't it funny how so many of these DD horror stories are just people like deeply misreading the room?

Speaker 2 It's just.

Speaker 2 It's crazy that, like, you know, the vibe of like, or like the stereotype with D ⁇ D is like, oh, it's like a nerd's game, but it's like, it's a game of reading the room. Sure, absolutely.

Speaker 2 And like the DMs, like their biggest role, I would say, well, I mean, I would let you say this. If you want to say it's about reading the room,

Speaker 2 I'll let you say it. It's about reading the room, gang.

Speaker 2 I do, I seriously think it's all about like reading energy and understanding where people are at and knowing when to go to people and when to let them like wait just in terms of like being entertained, like how many, how much someone's talking.

Speaker 2 But like, yeah,

Speaker 2 this is the DM that the person fell in love with essentially.

Speaker 2 Yes, because

Speaker 2 she's DMing, and this friend of theirs is playing, and he's romancing an NPC. So she's playing the NPC

Speaker 2 that he's romancing.

Speaker 2 And so clearly, they probably had some sequences together where they're like

Speaker 2 professing their love within the game. I've definitely heard of this happening before, and it is really stupid.

Speaker 2 It's just like

Speaker 2 if you're showing up to play a game of

Speaker 2 trouble, no one's about to fall in love with the person who presses the bubble the most. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 It's people just never know.

Speaker 2 Spirits must

Speaker 2 be a little bit more. Yeah, so it's just when people give like the DM

Speaker 2 I think it's like something to do with like mysticizing it or something like that. Like when somebody's just like pretending to be this NPC, you're like, wow, they're infusing magic into this.

Speaker 2 This is all personal to them. I'm going to make it personal to me.
Now we have a personal connection that's unseen by all the others because it's just our secret, private little moment.

Speaker 2 But you're forgetting that there are five other people in the room. Like, I've got my dice and I'm ready to attack.

Speaker 2 I'm ready to attack. He just comes.
Here we go. I'm ready to get these guys.
Here we go. And you've got a lady on a Zoom call just waiting.

Speaker 2 Waiting. I was like, oh, wait for the text.
Wait for the text.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was like, that's who they need to break this tension up.

Speaker 2 They need a beautiful princess or a beautiful priestess. I love how they felt like they had to include the fact that they canceled D and D the next time

Speaker 2 as if that were like we did

Speaker 2 for the time being. It's like

Speaker 2 TBD. Maybe

Speaker 2 I'm never playing this again.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well he lost his friend? Oh my gosh. Yeah, Dylan.
Also, it's insanely like bold to not only like text her and then be like, what are our next steps? And then

Speaker 2 the call.

Speaker 2 Texting your crush. Next steps? The development machine.
And then the husband calls. He's like, you're standing in the way of us.
Yeah. It's like, whoa,

Speaker 2 man.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Comments. I am so sorry this happened.
It seems that Dylan is not mature enough to separate what is being simulated in the RPG with real life, which is troubling to say the least.

Speaker 2 I hope you can continue DMing, but it seems that Dylan needs to leave the game. Under normal conditions,

Speaker 2 I think he maybe needs to leave.

Speaker 2 Under normal conditions, I'd suggest talking to the player and working something out, but I think this is a case where you should probably skip that step. Thanks.
Thanks, Reddit.

Speaker 2 Dylan seems divorced from reality. In any case, good luck.
I know this is a very strange situation. I saw the divorce Dylan wants.

Speaker 2 It is insane that, like, Dylan...

Speaker 2 This is also like, even if he had no other intentions, but if you are in a DD group where it's like the DM is married to someone else at the table and you're doing a romance sequence with that person, it's like, this has got to be at least a little silly.

Speaker 2 Like, at least make it a silly romance. Maybe a little silly.
Or it just has to be like people who've known each other for a long time and there's no fear of they're going to steal my husband. Right.

Speaker 2 And once, I think once, I think a lot of these issues tend to occur with people who don't know each other very well and then they meet through D and D and they're like, I feel a part of this group.

Speaker 2 It's like, it's like almost like parasocial. I don't know if that's the right word, but like there's something like that.
There's, it's like, oh man. Yeah, I'm trying to think of like the word when.

Speaker 2 It's like parasocial with your characters that aren't real.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, where it's like, you know, if you are being, if you are being a character and I fall in love with that character and I'm like, oh, that like, and the character likes me, I'm like, oh, that George likes me.

Speaker 2 It's like, that's almost. But Dylan was their friend.
Dylan was the friend. Dylan was their friend.

Speaker 2 So it's like he did know these people.

Speaker 2 OP left a comment saying, my husband thinks he built a version of me in his head and fell in love with that.

Speaker 2 He is definitely not playing with us again as he insulted my husband and said he wanted to have sex with me. I just think I need to break.
I fix that part out.

Speaker 2 I just think I need a break until the New Year's.

Speaker 2 In five days. In five days, I'll i'll be good just give me like

Speaker 2 and the other guy's like i just don't have time to read a visual novel

Speaker 2 someone said unfortunately this has happened to me more than once as a female dm it's frustrating a violation of boundaries and really disappointing unfortunately you will learn to recognize the signs and indications that someone is starting to manic pixie dream and pc you and cut it off

Speaker 2 don't let one bad player shake your confidence as a dm the game is for all of us and you are entitled to boundaries safety and comfort while running a game for your players just as they are entitled to the same from you send Dylan down in the dungeon be like there's a you you come across a bird and it hates you so funny and it fucking hates you yeah this bird fuck this bird hates you god I think it's not it sucks how many women have that exact same story when they play D and D and they have like oh I had my first experience was terrible and it's like

Speaker 2 yeah yeah it a good on this group for nixing that guy and getting him out of here standing up for him deserves to be I mean I hope yeah I I mean, the fact that it was even a thought scares me a little, but yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, we have a mini little update. It was in the comments.
She said, DD is back on, and the rest of the players promised to not fall in love with me. So I'm assuming she kicked Dylan out.

Speaker 2 Dylan's there, but

Speaker 2 he's just kind of arms crossed. Yeah.
She's like, whatever. I won't fall in love with you anymore.
Yeah, that's awful. I think people need to go outside.

Speaker 2 That's crazy to say as a DM. Yeah, right?

Speaker 2 Thousands of games under my belt. I'm like, more grass.
Yeah. I think.

Speaker 2 Our next story also comes from D ⁇ D Horror Stories. Our DM went to P and never returned.

Speaker 2 Scary. Oh, man.
And fear.

Speaker 2 And that's it. Hate to see it manifest.
It was a title-only post.

Speaker 2 I'm not kidding. Is that a two-sentence horror story?

Speaker 2 What happened? It was a one-sentence horror story.

Speaker 2 Comments goes, details? And someone else said he went to pee and didn't come back.

Speaker 2 That's for sale DM chair never sat in

Speaker 2 so many questions.

Speaker 2 He went to pee. Have you ever heard of a DM just leaving, just bouncing and

Speaker 2 screaming everyone at the table? In any scenario. That's pretty funny.

Speaker 2 That's like... Maybe the DM didn't like him.
Maybe. Leading any activity and then leaving in the middle.
It's

Speaker 2 hilarious. It's really funny.
If you ever have a game going on April 1st, that's what you should do. That is good.
Yeah. I'll steal that.

Speaker 2 Like, seeing you're going to the bathroom, then leaving is that's really funny

Speaker 2 in the middle of a game, even funnier. Oh, man.
Really funny. What do you, yeah? I wonder where the stopping point was.

Speaker 2 Maybe he's still peeing. Maybe he's in there.

Speaker 2 Maybe the part of the rolling Nat One on his

Speaker 2 genus.

Speaker 2 Fuck.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 Our next story.

Speaker 2 Got it. Our next story is from RPG Horror Stories.
DM says I can't be a bard.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 I kind of get it.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, let's wait because maybe this guy's like, I've committed a lot of various social offenses as a bard in the past. And now I can't do that.

Speaker 2 Someone said, I came up with a character concept for a bard for a campaign I'm in after my character unfortunately died by being an idiot.

Speaker 2 She had six intelligence and thought intimidating a dragon was a good idea. The idea was that I was a former con artist who was cursed to always tell the truth as best as I knew it.

Speaker 2 So then I became a theater critic and have been praised the world over for my brutal honesty and blunt reviews. DM said no because he didn't like the idea.

Speaker 2 So I kind of like that though.

Speaker 2 Because he hates you.

Speaker 2 So I made a bard who wrote poetry because she read somewhere that poems used to hold magic. And then one day she gave a performance of one of her darker poems and an audience member died.

Speaker 2 Believing it to be her fault, she fled the city and lived a solitary life to avoid hurting others with her magic, who the party then found and convinced her she could use her powers for good instead of evil.

Speaker 2 DM said no because the idea was cliché. It's for mystery men.
Cliche?

Speaker 2 Killing someone with a poem is cliché? Guess so. What an incredible character concept.
So I made a bard/slash sorcerer who stole a young girl's voice.

Speaker 2 This is like the fourth character they come with, like, so I did this.

Speaker 2 So I made a bard/slash sorcerer who stole a young girl's voice in return for her heart's desire. The catch, when she died, her soul would belong to me to use as an eternal slave.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I basically made Ursula. DM said no because it was too OP.

Speaker 2 Ursula is pretty OP. Ursula is pretty OP.
She's an octopus.

Speaker 2 That was one of those where it's like, I didn't even like, I'm just nodding that because that was really good. That was really good.
Thanks.

Speaker 2 That was really good. Thanks.

Speaker 2 So I outright asked him if I could play a bard at all, and he said, no, bards are stupid. Pick another class.

Speaker 2 It's pretty funny.

Speaker 2 Bards are great.

Speaker 2 I mean, I love how sometimes this will be like, the title will be like, ooh, I wonder what the interesting like twist is and it's like DM said I couldn't because fuck me

Speaker 2 I thought it was gonna be like the person wanted to like sing everything sure it's like yeah no dude like we're we're trying to chill out and like have play a game yeah it's like come on man I bards are tend to be like the problematic class because they are like the high charisma class so you can like go to an NPC the DM is controlling and kind of like impose your will on that NPC by just rolling ridiculously high numbers or charming, make it doing like mind control magic and stuff.

Speaker 2 Right. So sometimes DMs have good reasons for like, hey, let's limit our bard shenanigans.
Sure. But this is not one of those moments.

Speaker 2 This is something much funnier.

Speaker 2 This is something better. Much better.
A couple comments. More like pick another DM, am I right? Hey, wow, you got them.
OP said, essentially what I'm going to do, I love bards.

Speaker 2 They're my favorite class.

Speaker 2 Someone else said, DMs who veto PC ideas for being cliche always start the party off by meeting in a tavern and being tasked to deal with the local goblins always get them prove me wrong get them snatch the wig absolutely

Speaker 2 forget it wow

Speaker 2 man

Speaker 2 um have you ever had to turn down a character

Speaker 2 like did because if someone pitched something like so mostly because the name like i was so inappropriate i couldn't say it at the table

Speaker 2 you obviously can't come to the table with that for every reason that is on this paper sure so yeah and and and like the DM should be able to

Speaker 2 filter what's allowed at the table, but I don't think not liking it is like a good enough thing. That's not a, yeah.
Has there ever been an idea that you've just been like, I really don't like this?

Speaker 2 And you've kind of tried to sway them away. Well, yeah, probably.

Speaker 2 Not, I don't think I can remember. Oh, well,

Speaker 2 one of my, yeah. It can be from here.

Speaker 2 He was like, you want to name your character Guy Wood?

Speaker 2 Go watch Moss vs. Christmas.
So fucking, so good.

Speaker 2 I think, yeah, there are definitely like sometimes when a player will come in and it's like, my whole character's deal is all about my phallus.

Speaker 2 And you got to be like, hey, man, there's going to be five other people at this table. And I don't think anybody's going to want to hear

Speaker 2 your section of the role. The adventures of Penis Man.
Yeah, every time, and like, you know, a certain person could make that very funny, but that person's rare. And I think it's a good thing.

Speaker 2 My character is Slur Johnson.

Speaker 2 It's shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's getting closer to the first example I mentioned. Yeah.
Wow.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, you should have a little filter power. Some boundaries there.
Okay. I think the poem idea is one of the most beautiful morals I've ever heard.
I like the Ursula one.

Speaker 2 I like the idea of a DD game where all the characters are just like Disney villains. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Super fun. Yeah.

Speaker 2 All right, our last story.

Speaker 2 It comes from RPG Horror Stories. They write, playing a woman, I think I got the tiniest taste of real-world sexism.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 2 Okay. Whoa.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Go on. Really? This guy like talking to women now is like, I get it.
I lived it. I understand.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know. I've been playing D ⁇ D on and off for 15 years now in multiple campaigns that got to level 20.
But three years ago, I did something new. I played a female character.

Speaker 2 It's fully the scene from White Lotus.

Speaker 2 I'm playing something new.

Speaker 2 I played a female character. We're a five-person party, three men and two women in real life.
In character, it's three women and two men because of me.

Speaker 2 Because of me. Thanks for clarifying.
Because of woke. Because of woke.

Speaker 2 As the years have gone by, I've started to notice little things here and there in how the NPCs treat me.

Speaker 2 I'm trying to play this character as kind of a take-charge type person, but the NPCs tend to kind of brush me off when I feel like they shouldn't.

Speaker 2 I'm a powerful sorcerer with a kind of dark reputation, so I would expect they'd show me some respect, but often, well, they don't.

Speaker 2 And it feels like sometimes certain other PCs just get a little more recognition, a little more respect for reasons I can't quite put my finger on.

Speaker 2 I've brought it up to the DM a couple times, and he's always had a reason. Well, this NPC talked to you like that because of X reason.

Speaker 2 Or when the barbarian in the group did X, that really earned the king's respect because of Y reason.

Speaker 2 It's like each individual instance had a reason that could be valid, and no one instance is a big deal. But it's just that it kept happening.

Speaker 2 I've played with this DM before and never felt like this before, so it was kind of baffling to me.

Speaker 2 Then some more time went by, and I started noticing that NPCs would talk like that to other female characters too. And it was always the male characters who seemed to get the respect.

Speaker 2 And at first, I was like, nah, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 no.

Speaker 2 And at first, I was like, sexism doesn't exist, though. It's the children who are wrong.

Speaker 2 The DM is an old friend of mine, and I know he's not sexist or anything. But once I noticed it, I kept noticing it.

Speaker 2 And I didn't say anything because, come on, how whiny would it be for a straight white dude to complain about low-grade fantasy sexism?

Speaker 2 Honestly, sometimes I'd notice a little thing and be sure it was sexism, and then the next time I'd be sure I must be imagining it.

Speaker 2 Like an NPC might talk to one of the male characters before us, or he might give them more respect than us.

Speaker 2 I mentioned to one of the other guys, who I've been friends with since high school, that I felt like my character was getting short-changed sometimes, not mentioning sexism as the cause, and he kind of shrugged it off, so I let it drop.

Speaker 2 This Sunday, as everyone was leaving, I found myself alone in the parking lot with one of the real-life women of the group.

Speaker 2 Yet another NPC had low-level disrespected our characters in favor of one of the guys in this game, and it was on my mind.

Speaker 2 I said something like, is it just me, or does person A and person B, the guys, though I didn't say that, get just a little bit more respect than we do? She just shrugged and said, it's a man's world.

Speaker 2 This is like finding out about racism from like Detroit become human or something like that. It's like, whoa, I never thought of it like that.

Speaker 2 Also, it's funny how they're like, man, this world is sexist. And I'm like, it's the guy DMing.
Yeah, it's that guy. It's him.
They're talking about it as if the fantasy world is like.

Speaker 2 Or just be what it is. It's like, yeah, there's nothing we can do about it.
How can we enact change in this fantasy world? Talk to Greg. Tell him to stop.

Speaker 2 Greg is the one who's actively making these decisions every day. Oh man.
We talked a little more because I wasn't sure she was serious at first, but she was.

Speaker 2 And she didn't seem particularly upset or bent out of shape about it. As far as she was concerned, this is just how it goes.
First, I felt immediately relieved. Like, I'm not crazy.

Speaker 2 It wasn't all in my head. Like I said earlier, I didn't bring up sexism to her.
She brought it up first. And it felt great to have my perceptions validated.

Speaker 2 But I've really been dwelling on it since then. Like, she was so matter-of-fact about it.
It bothers me that it must happen all the time to women, and I just don't notice it.

Speaker 2 I mean obviously this is a really small sample size. The DM whose NPCs act that way and the other guy players who don't notice it.
And obviously I don't really understand what a woman goes through.

Speaker 2 I don't want to pretend like my little thing here is on the same level as what real women experience every day. It's really her reaction that stuck with me.
The sort of welcome to the club vibe I got.

Speaker 2 Honestly, if this is normal for women, I don't know how they deal with it. I find it low-grade infuriating, and I only have to deal with it every now and then in the fantasy world.

Speaker 2 I think this guy just became a feminist. Look at that.
He's like, whoa, guys, we should do something about this. DD, everyone.

Speaker 2 Good. This is so funny.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 This, yeah.

Speaker 2 There's a story I know like this of something like this happening to someone in real life where something like very innocuous was like, oh, whoa, I guess like, you know, people of color really like, you know, art do go through it sometimes.

Speaker 2 It's like, yeah. Really? Like,

Speaker 2 I don't know why that taught it to you, but like, hey, I guess if you learn somehow.

Speaker 2 Think about how infuriating it is for all the women at the table for all the men to constantly not notice that it's happening until you have to pretend to be a woman for a little bit.

Speaker 2 And then you're like, something's not right. Yeah.
And it's affecting me.

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 2 There's one comment on it. That was it.

Speaker 2 There's no update.

Speaker 2 One comment that kind of represents all the comments in this. Welcome to the club.
It sucks.

Speaker 2 But of course, if you were to push back against all those little slights, you'd be painted as a huge bitch who gets offended at everything.

Speaker 2 It's exhausting to navigate, so you probably can see why a lot of women just deal with it.

Speaker 2 I don't think your male friends are sexist, but there's some sexist behaviors that are just so normalized that men don't think about it.

Speaker 2 Hopefully, you can take this experience and be a bit more mindful of your own interactions with women in the real world.

Speaker 2 That's something that's well said. Yeah, absolutely.
That's pretty good.

Speaker 2 DD is cool in that it lets you get outside your perspective sometimes, but that is also a dangerous thing, as you can see with Dylan. Yeah.
And birds. Dylan and birds.
Yep.

Speaker 2 And maybe he's like, and this NPC really doesn't like you. Yeah.
Also,

Speaker 2 he hates you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 About

Speaker 2 every NPC, though. It'd be funny if he talked to her and he's like, does it feel like we get destructive? She's like, no, all of us are fine.
He just hates you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He hates you.

Speaker 2 I feel very respected. No one's respected except for you.

Speaker 2 Oh, man.

Speaker 2 Well, this has been a blast. Oh, thank you guys so much for having me.
That was awesome. too.

Speaker 2 I'm glad we didn't even have to, like, that last story, just like that, that comment was like, oh, that's everything we needed to say. That's it.
Yeah, all the nuance wrapped up. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 George, thank you for joining us. Thanks for having me, guys.
Thanks for allowing me to talk about this. This is great.
I can listen to these RPG stories all day. Yeah.
I know.

Speaker 2 They're all so terrible sometimes. Yeah.
Like, all so terrible sometimes.

Speaker 2 There are some that are so bad that you're like, thank God that wasn't my introduction. You know what I mean? To this.

Speaker 2 I know that our producers went through a lot of stories that we didn't include because they're so bad they're not even fun to read. That is what I, honestly, what I feared the most.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Seeking beautiful princesses. We want to have her priestess.
Sorry, I keep.

Speaker 2 We want to have a little bit of fun while reading these. They have to be a little funny, but there's a lot of actual nightmares.

Speaker 2 But George, if people want to see really good storytelling, really good D ⁇ D, where can they find it? Oh, man.

Speaker 2 Check out Hero Club and the Reslayers Take. We take our live recorded DD sessions and we mix them down with sound effects and music and stuff like that and makes it like an audiobook.

Speaker 2 But it's all actually played around the table, which is really cool.

Speaker 2 And go check those out and go check out the Smosh versus videos where we play Dread, which is a Jenga Tower game. And if you knock the tower over while playing, you die.

Speaker 2 Lots of fun. And these guys are brilliant

Speaker 2 Dread players and TTRPGers in general. We got a good one coming out.

Speaker 2 Thank you both for being here. Thank you guys for watching.
Let us know what are the themes and subreddits you'd like to see on the show, and we will see you next Saturday. Bye.

Speaker 2 Seeking beautiful priestess.