Episode 904 - Caitlin Howden

July 15, 2025 1h 44m

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Comedian Caitlin Howden returns to talk clothing swaps, F1, and kissing in the suburbs.

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Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark.

And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Woo!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 904 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

My name is Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is a man who can't wait for his first fresh box of strawberries.

Mr.

Dave Shumka.

What are you talking about?

Strawberries.

It's a summer fruit.

It's delicious.

He has a strawberry

fruit, but it's now a 365 fruit.

I know, but they don't taste very good from the

summer.

But why would I be waiting for my first one?

It's July.

Yeah, that's what I was wondering, too.

I was like, why was he waiting?

But you know what?

You looked me up and down.

You gave me elevator eyes and you knew inside and out that I was a guy who was waiting for

and I wasn't going to raise any questions.

I wasn't going to poke holes in your theory like a certain potato.

There's a lot of conversations pre-show.

Our guest this week, a returning guest to the podcast, she is part of the group.

called the Sunday Service that performs every Sunday night at the Fox Gabaret.

And she's also the co-host of a podcast called The Weekly Breakdown.

It's Caitlin Caitlin Howden.

Hi, guys.

Your weekly breakdown.

Oh, your weekly breakdown.

Sorry, my apologies.

It's the podcast called Your Weekly Breakdown.

Your podcast called The Weekly Breakdown.

Yeah, myself and Emily Key co-host a podcast.

So it's really weird being on another.

What's her last name on her?

Emily Key.

Emily Key and I host a podcast.

Sorry, there was just like a

non-tenet fair.

It's just last time I was here, I didn't have a podcast.

You did.

Okay.

Oh, so good to see you guys again.

Want to get to know us?

I do.

Get to know us.

Caitlin.

Hi.

How long have you been doing this podcast?

About 53 weeks.

Yeah, I guess just over

a year.

Again,

the question directed at Caitlin.

Caitlin?

Oh, just over a year.

So I guess I forgot the last time I saw you guys.

I've been doing the podcast for about a year and a half now.

Okay.

Yeah.

started a podcast.

Emily had an idea.

We met at a clothing clothing swap.

I was going to say,

Emily, here in Vancouver?

Yeah, yeah.

A friend had a clothing swap, and she was one of the people there.

I had never met her before.

And so she's always been a kind of an acquaintance.

And then she had this idea for a podcast.

I feel like I've always been kind of an acquaintance.

Just in general?

In general, yeah.

Also, like, I have big acquaintance energy.

I love that, because guys don't do it as far as I know.

I know.

Take us in the world of clothing swap.

Clothing swaps, yeah.

Do men not, I guess you're right.

You wouldn't do that.

I've never heard of a bunch of guys getting together and bringing all the clothes that they love, but maybe they don't fit them anymore.

And they wanted to

style them.

Sure.

Yes.

What did you get from this clothing swap?

Did you get anything good?

A podcast host.

Nice.

I got, I think from that clothing swap, I got a pair of jeans.

Okay.

And it was funny because it was a pair of jeans that someone had brought.

And what happens is everyone brings their clothes and then you kind of present them.

Oh, okay.

That's fine.

It's not just in a pile and you're, no, oh, this is great.

But what if something's really sought after?

If you presented really well and people are like damn i want that and they're like i want that and there are certain pieces that look really good on a couple people so what happens is let's say there's a top that everyone's like i want it i want it i want it everyone who wants it puts it on and then the group decides who it looks best on oh that's no fair because it's it's totally like

somebody's gonna get their feelings tilted toward good-looking people no no because it's it's about how it fits on them and also the way that they wear it when they come out of the bathroom and we all go you don't actually love it you just like the idea of that shirt yeah so do you have to wait for every like one article at a time being put on like everybody's going to the bathroom or is there just some throwing on and the group there's a lot of throwing on like because there's jackets right there's shoes yeah um there's some great boots there's heels that people bought once for an event but never worn yeah sure but you have to like shoes there's no messing around with sizes no no it's either or yeah yeah and then we all just kind of take turns trying things on and then whatever's left gets donated Is there anything that like everyone tries it on and it magically, people of all sizes, whether they're like Blake Lively or America Ferreira, Alexis Bladell or Amber Tamblin?

These are pants that go somewhere.

These are,

yeah, they're nomadic

spirituals.

Yeah, they're sort of like a sorority of nomadic trousers.

You know what's funny you say that?

It's because the pair of jeans that I got from this clothing swap where I met Emily, she brought these pants.

Oh.

And we saw these pants and I was like, well, no, no chance am I fitting in those.

And she was like, you'd be surprised.

Okay.

So a bunch of us put on the pants at different times.

You ever do a three-legged race?

They were tight.

And we put them on.

And then we had

people who wanted them tried them on.

And I put them on.

I was like, oh my God, they fit.

Nice.

And I won them.

And that was it.

Yeah.

And you do still have these pants?

I still have those jeans only because I have three pairs of pants and I'm not interested in shopping.

Three pairs of pants.

Okay.

I'm working with, I'm currently working with three.

I've got a three-pant rotation.

Dave has tons of pants.

He's got jeans for days.

Yeah, I've got a lot of pants.

But you also have like, you have jeans, you have khakis.

You probably have some sort of like

corduroy.

Flex pants.

I got plenty of flex pants.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know what that means.

You know, for dinner and daytime.

Oh, sure.

Yeah.

Something that can go from the office to evening.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, I got a lot of pants.

So many, so much so that I have like, well, I've got to put away my winter pants and take out my summer and spring pants.

Oh, you've got summer pants, of course.

What are your summer pants?

Well, they're this year.

Yo, well, it's

weird because I wear shorts every day in the summer,

but it's generally a lighter, you know,

a chino,

all-cotton blend.

How could it be all cotton and a blend?

Oh, I don't know.

That's a good call.

I don't know anything about cotton.

I don't know anything about pants.

Only about that.

But you know about the Old Testament, and we don't, you know, mix our

wine and water.

So, Dave, if you know that you're going to be primarily shorts this summer, how much pant real estate have you given your closet?

All of it.

Are you serious?

You're operating as though you're going to wear as many pants as you would in wintertime?

Yeah.

What would you say?

Like ballpark, how many pairs of pants are we talking about?

I know you have a lot of jeans.

Yeah.

I think we're probably in the 30 to 40 range.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow.

All seasons combined.

I'm hoping.

Well, here's the thing.

I don't throw away old pants.

I have more.

There's some that will never make it back into the closet.

This is because men don't swap.

It is.

It's because men don't do these swaps.

There's some that I keep under my bed in storage that are just, well, is this the year?

No.

I'm going to get a grant and film you guys doing a clothing swap with the rest of the Sunday service.

That is.

And I'm going to somehow find money for this.

But Graham only has the three pairs of pants.

So how does it...

He needs more.

I need more.

But I don't have to bring a pair of pants to get a pair of pants.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

You just bring whatever I have.

Bring whatever I have, whatever you're like.

I'm over it.

I got stuff that I like like that I will not ever wear again.

There you go.

This is why I need to go to a clothing.

Our bodies are changing.

Boy, are they.

And so is our taste.

That's the thing: mine is my, I weigh

okay.

You look exactly.

You have the same body you did 25 years ago.

I do have the same, I have like a window of weight that I like to stay in, and I am in that window of weight.

But my body, like my waist has moved.

Up or down?

Yeah, the way pants fit is different, even though I haven't gained or lost any way.

For those listening,

I do, yeah, I do,

Graham's a graham and Dave are both at tight 110 with apple bottoms.

Um, so you met at this close,

yes, kilograms, um, and then we started a podcast, and it's called Your Weekly Breakdown.

It's it's a smart and silly podcast about kind of what's happening.

Let me guess, you're silly,

no, sometimes the topics are silly.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

And most recently, we've been flirting online with Katie Curry.

I know.

Really?

Yeah.

Tell me all about this.

We mentioned her on a podcast, how much we admire her, and

she commented on one of our videos.

And she basically.

Did you mention her in

a video that she got tagged and then she saw it?

Yeah.

Okay.

Actually, I don't know if she was tagged.

Okay.

It was just a tag.

Maybe she got a Google Alert.

Yep.

And she said, well, when am I going to be a guest on your podcast?

Whoa.

And you were like, never.

And we were like, oh my God, is she flirting with us?

Is Katie Curtick flirting with us?

And then we realized, you know, do we send her a DM, which felt really inappropriate to send such an established journalist a DM?

I don't know.

It just felt weird.

Oh, Jimmy.

I made a face.

I know you made a face.

She reached out to you.

Yeah.

And then you don't have her phone number.

Does she have an agent?

Well, what we did was we sent a message just saying, like, do you have an assistant we could talk to?

We'd love to have you on the podcast.

She's like, I do it all myself.

No, she hadn't.

Okay.

Yeah.

So now you're.

She's got her own domain.

You know what I mean?

Wheels are in motion, though, right?

Yes, I think wheels are in motion.

Yeah.

Fuck, that's amazing.

Did she host Dayline?

Or is she a Today Show?

Today Show.

She was Today Show.

She did not do.

Yeah, she wasn't nighttime.

No, Dayline, I'm thinking of Jane Pauley and Stone Phillips.

And did Katie Kirk, was she, she had cancer at one point?

I remember.

Her husband passed away of cancer.

Oh, way to go, Graham.

No, she, like, somebody from the Today Show had a colonoscopy on the show.

I do think that was her.

I think that was her.

Yes.

Yeah.

And

it was wild, like, because they were like, this is the first time they've done this on television.

I was like, yep.

First time, last time.

Apparently, these people don't have TLC.

They used to just be that.

Yeah, they used to do surgeries, colonoscopies.

Do you guys ever get a little bit miffed at how many people are doing podcasts now, considering you've been doing it for, what, 15, 20 years?

17.

Exactly.

No, I'm only mad at Mark Maron's, and his is going to keep going forever.

Oh, wait.

No, we've seen them all come.

We've seen them all go.

Yeah.

We love seeing them go.

Yeah.

With those Apple bottles.

Well, we just, we just got 25,000 downloads

this week.

So you

the video and the audio is recorded in studio.

In studio.

Yeah.

Separately?

You don't do the video and then

Well, no, we do the video and then we dub it.

We do the video first and then we dub it with our podcast.

Emily does everything.

Yeah.

She does all the social media.

She does all the editing.

She does everything.

All the clips.

I just have to show up.

And you.

I know.

Sorry, guys.

Y'all need an Emily.

I know.

Well, we have one.

Yeah.

Oh, it's pronounced safe.

What do you think?

You think Graham's doing stuff?

I'm not doing stuff.

I'm the Graham.

I'm the Caitlin.

Yeah.

That's right.

All right.

I just need an Emily.

Yeah.

I mean, we will never be on video.

That is my promise.

I love that.

Thanks.

You love not being on video.

Yes.

Yeah.

Because there's times where you see the video

and I think to myself, I forgot we were filming.

I just showed up thinking we were doing a podcast.

I forgot, because sometimes I'll wear shirts that really blend into my neck and the background.

Like a real bee.

Yeah.

Which is not great for video content.

It's because of the clothing swap.

You went to an all-blended clothing swap.

Yeah, I went to the Kim Kardashians clothing swap.

You said the invitation for the clothing swap was, your skin tones must be this page.

Is that right?

Send out a color swatch.

Instead of a clothing swap, it's a

color swatch.

No.

Never mind.

Edit that out.

Edit that up.

Yeah, yeah.

If only I knew the editor of this show.

We've got to get Emily over here.

And then

I've listened to it, but I haven't watched it.

I haven't watched the video part of it.

Is there any added value in the video?

Right now, the video is just for clips.

It's just what Emily puts online for sharing

to get eyes on the podcast.

Yeah, you got to get eyes on the merchandise.

Yeah.

Now you cried recently, a big crying breakdown on the show?

I lost my shit.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Caitlin.

So here's the thing.

Now, yeah, okay.

You're the.

Okay, so you saw a video of me crying online.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

So I was crying online.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You were crying on Maine.

I was crying on the main.

And we were recording a podcast.

And I was a little bit tired.

And maybe just the topics we were talking about that week were pretty heavy.

You know, it wasn't a fun news week.

Polonoscopies.

Yeah.

That and war.

Kirks and whatnot.

Yeah.

Just also, like, we're talking about things that are in the news.

It's a way of ideally finding out what's going on in the world in a kind of digestible way with a primarily, I'd say, female focus.

But you don't ever do a story like this guy's tortoise just passed its 125th birthday.

You don't do like a fun life story these are real stories you're doing yeah okay yeah yeah yeah for the for the listener this is real stuff there real stuff i know it's i'm a comedian but this is not a comedy pod it's not it's not silly in that way no emily's no nonsense she's very smart and serious i want to hear the issues she's she's here i read 30 books this week yeah

she has some great book recommendations um but she was we were talking about summer plans

And she was telling me about how

this summer.

No, I'm okay.

No, I'm fine today.

No, this summer she's going to go to her home, which is on a farm on the East Coast.

She's not going to have a cell phone.

They're going to wake up every day and swim.

It's going to be so chill.

And she was just describing to me the pace of life that she experiences when living out in the East Coast with her family.

And I just started crying.

Oh.

And she looked at me.

She's like, are you crying?

And I was like, I'm okay.

I'm just a little, I don't know.

That really hit me.

And something about it unlocked something.

And I just started bawling huh and she was like what's wrong and I said I don't know sometimes I'm just a little I'm feeling a little afraid is what it was and something really beautiful caught me off guard and knocked me into my feelings and I was really worried about putting it online Emily showed me the clip she's like I want to put this online what do you think and I was like I mean Sure, whatever.

Anything for the clicks.

You need to get 25,000 downloads or I'd quit.

It's real.

Like I did cry.

And, you know, it is edited a little bit out of order.

I'll say that.

Like, I don't start bawling like the video says you know

i do start with a tender weep and then she goes oh my god and then i'm like oh my god i'm crying um

but the amount of people who reached out to me when they saw that clip that they were like yeah same

really oh i feel that i'm feeling that i'm just a little bit afraid i'm just a little bit

you know what's a little bit afraid what my jeans

Well, then put them in a different bucket.

Dave.

No, of course they're in the fraid bucket.

They're in the frayed bucket.

Good.

It was surprising how many people.

Did they they cried also thinking about this thing or just I have to start crying?

Just that feeling of being like, ooh, I could.

Did you get a lot of messages that were same girl?

Girl, same.

I did.

I got a lot of messages, mostly from women, saying like,

absolutely,

I'm overwhelmed.

Yeah.

But like, you're doing a lot of stuff.

You're, you're filming a television show.

I wasn't, yeah, I rapped yesterday, but that's like heavy-duty stuff.

You're shooting for 12 hours a day, 16 hours a day.

A couple hours out of town.

Yeah, we were like out of zone, as they say.

Yeah.

Graham, what's the last time you cried?

Like authentically?

Yeah.

Honestly, it's been years and years and years.

Not a big, not a big cry.

What about if I yanked on your pupes?

I just laugh because that's what I like.

Dave, you dirty dog.

Dave, what have you cried recently?

Every day.

No.

No, I do.

I mean, every movie I see.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Do you feel like you use the movie a little bit?

Are you using it?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You're going to get me there, F1.

Did you see F1?

Saw F1.

Nice.

In IMAX.

And did you cry because it was so beautiful?

I don't think I cried at F1.

But I do cry at

any movie about

anyone being treated unfairly.

Yeah.

Any movie about like parents.

I watched, my kids were watching the movie.

Yeah.

Is he going to milk them?

Yeah, I don't know if he's going to milk them.

Take your sit down.

We'll watch the rest of the movie.

My kids were re-watching the musical Matilda.

And I was like,

I saw it in the theater.

I saw it.

They've watched it many times.

cry pretty much every time, or at least like get there almost.

60.

Yeah.

And I was like, no, not not again

kids were like girl same

kids, my kids don't get it at all.

Do they get emotional at parts of the movie that you don't get emotional at though?

They get emotional

anytime they're not watching the movie, right?

When they want ice cream.

Yeah.

I, it was.

I am a crier, though.

I should say that.

Like, I, I'm, I'm, I'm quick to cry.

But do you ever, like, a question for both of you?

Do you feel better after you cry, or do you feel like this is, this is

taking energy out of you?

No, I don't feel like energy taken out of me, but it is like, it doesn't,

it doesn't solve whatever.

It's like, it's not a complete release.

Yeah.

No, it's like a sneeze.

Where you're like, I guess I feel better afterwards.

Yeah.

I didn't know I had to sneeze.

For me, it's like an orgasm.

Go on.

It's mysterious.

And it happens really quick.

And I'm crying.

And

so, like, you said you're a crier.

What are the triggers?

Movies, television shows?

Yeah, animals.

Any kind of animal?

Any kind of animal, especially an animal like in distress.

I've had to retrain my algorithm on Instagram to just give me nice things.

Also, did you know when did you know everyone's for you page is different?

Yeah, yeah.

The you part.

Yeah, but I thought that was like

like a just a saying.

And that's where you remember.

Do you remember when the internet kind of changed to being like

algorithmic-based instead of everyone getting the same ads?

And people would be like, hey, what is Facebook showing these butt plug ads?

I had someone out themselves to me because they were like, man, I got it.

My Instagram is like all like tits and like porn girls.

And I was like, it's because you watch porn.

And it's because when they come up, you click on them.

Yeah.

Getting another ad for tits.

Oh, man.

You know what?

I like to keep.

What's new in tits?

My algorithm this morning was

people singing Frozen, but marching in a parade.

Oh, yeah.

That got me.

Oh, yeah.

Not Frozen.

Wicked.

Sorry.

Wicked.

Oh, okay.

Divine Gravity.

Classic.

Yeah, the Prime Gravity.

Is that the movie in the fits?

Yes, of course.

Did you cry?

Yes.

More than once?

Yes.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no, Dave.

Oh, yeah.

I was just about to.

The thing that got me the entire movie that I cried the whole thing through was the Mr.

Rogers documentary.

Yeah.

That was absolutely.

I'm not ready to watch that.

You'll cry.

Oh, you'll cry a lot.

And that's why I know I'm not ready.

Yeah.

I have to,

I'm not in that place to watch that.

It's got to be daytime.

Yeah.

And I have to have like maybe worked out right before, so I already have like myself.

We can get you to that place pretty soon.

It's daytime every day.

Yeah, I got this podcast I got to work on.

Well, you don't really do much work on it, I hear.

Well, no, I hear.

I'm here.

You know, I'm here.

You know, I got to do this.

What?

Yeah, I saw it in the daytime.

I saw it in a theater.

You did?

And wept.

I don't know if everyone else was weeping.

Yeah,

I can see it.

I can see from watching.

It was great.

But yeah, I just don't.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm a part robot and I don't know about it.

Maybe.

Because I'm the one who seems like more of a robot.

Yeah, you, of the two of us, you think I would be the big crier.

No.

No?

But I'm not.

But less robots.

I would.

If I had to guess, I would say Graham is the crier and Dave is the puncher.

But in reality, Graham is the puncher and Dave's the crier.

Yeah.

And that's how it goes.

And somehow we make it work.

You know what makes me punch?

I watch a lot of punching movies.

I watch marriage story.

Oh,

glove.

Something that I do get clip-wise, not a product, but my algorithm things i'm and they're right that uh people punching those punching bag machines oh yeah yeah oh man i cannot get it

it knows i like it and i watch them all the way through every time i've never seen one in real life i've only seen them on video oh i saw one

when i was first dating sally uh there was one that uh my wife saw um uh when did this happen i don't know two years ago um

the uh there was one of those a punching bag thing and i put in a couple bucks for it to go and then i started just tapping it very lightly and there was a guy who was like no you got to punch it and i was like no but like this like this and i kept missing it and he's like come on man you gotta punch it wind up and punch it sally thought it was so funny

i sealed the deal what is the is it you get and you get a score out of a thousand yeah a thousand i you get uh i think like the a high high score is like nine nine hundred is huge yeah yeah But there's a lot of them where somebody winds up and they miss it completely.

I love those videos.

And they're drunk.

You can tell that they're drunk.

They're drunk.

And they would have gotten 900 had they hit the bag.

Oh, yeah.

They're all wound up.

Putting their entire body weight through it.

And then John Cena, there was one of him doing it, and he like fake punched.

He's like, I haven't punched anybody for 20 years.

Because he knows how to fake it.

So he did like a full fake punch, but then pulled back.

He pulled his punch.

Yeah.

But it looked like he was punching.

It's really good that John Cena.

Gonna retire from wrestling, and that's wrestling's a loss.

Shouldn't he have 10 years ago?

Oh, but he's still at it.

How long has he been in movies?

The Rock still goes down to wrestle.

That seems unnecessary.

That feels like you don't need to do that, The Rock.

Yeah.

But The Rocky likes to go.

If only he would tell us his real name.

But that's kind of like when

celebrities do water commercials.

You're like, leave that for us.

Leave that for bullshit out of it.

What kind of commercials?

Like water.

Water.

Yeah.

You know, like Jennifer Aniston does Smart Water and like Brad Pitt does Ness Cafe and George Clooney and George Clooney does Ness Cafe.

Nest Cafe does right.

Brad Pitt did the F1.

Brad Pitt, we were talking about clothes not fitting well.

And Brad, did you see the video or the pictures of Brad Pitt wearing a weird suit a couple of weeks ago and it was like big and boxy and ill-fitting?

No.

Let me pull this up.

How do I Google this?

Could have been.

No, it's not these things.

Is he wearing a sheer dress?

Because they're not allowed to do do that anymore.

Can't be nude on the carpet.

Ain't that something, hey?

Yeah.

Ain't that something?

That's something we talked about on the podcast.

It was this.

That's right.

Oh, that's bad.

Yeah.

Oh, that's bad.

It's not a suit.

It's a

giant jeans and a velvet jacket.

It's on the back of the body.

It's giving Brittany and Justin early 2000s.

Yeah, but it's...

Yeah, when Justin was when they were in the jean outfit.

Yeah.

But he is like famously like anything that's like hard to wear, like a bucket hat or like a goatee.

Like he looks great in everything.

He does look great.

This is the first time I've seen him look bad.

In those weird looks.

Wear toed shoes,

a pinstripe shirt underneath.

And they're kind of smooth cut jeans, aren't they?

A little bit?

Yeah, that's a wide leg, babe.

Yeah.

Well, maybe, you know, maybe this time, a month from now, we'll all be wearing that suit because we are such trendy, trendy people.

People.

What do you think about this?

What's the

no-naked dresses on the red carpet?

That's right.

It's insane.

So this year, Can made a thing where they're like, you can't show your nipples.

Okay.

Everybody?

Who do you think?

Which is weird because they do a thing where they do like a every year the dog who's in the best, like the best dog performer gets a trophy at a belly rub.

But then they show their

belly.

You gotta rub your belly.

That's what it was.

Pasties this year.

Yeah.

Oh, wait.

Who's the Who was the guy that was canceled?

Graham.

No.

He was on the political show.

Kevin Spacey.

They They also gave him a.

Was it really?

They gave him a Lifetime Achievement Award this year at Ken.

But they told women they can't show their nipples.

Okay.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Thanks, Ken.

Kevin.

Really?

They gave Kevin Spacey an award for something?

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

Wow.

What the hell?

I know.

I thought we were done with him.

I thought

he was not in France.

Oh, yeah, Francis.

So, like, what's his name?

The director.

Gerard Debardier.

Oh, yeah.

Gerard Deer.

They love Roman.

Roman Dolansky.

Yeah.

So Ken can suck it, and I'm not going there.

I guess you're turning down the invitation.

So, can

is that French?

Yeah.

Okay.

You couldn't tell because it's the same in English.

Well, it's spelled differently.

Yeah, but that end is quiet.

How's the French?

Can you keep up with your French?

Ma wishe par français.

Mais safe l'entinque je cratique que français à la stemper rusty, my French.

It's become more of a party trick.

What's rusty?

Ruyer?

Ruyer en raised bon.

Yeah, I know.

I had to

remotely produce a podcast in Paris and

the staff there, I had to email them in French and set up the studio.

And then the day of, I was like, okay, practicing all the things I would have to say.

And then the guy spoke English and it was fine.

Ah, shit.

I wish I had more practice of French, but it's just not there.

Could you do voiceover, you know, Air Canada announcements in French?

No, I can do back when I was a flight attendant, and I would, I could still do my Maitimes, Monsieur, portrait, vousuit la bièfe némorale, s'u plé raci si, sé la vión.

And then I forget.

That's great.

But I can do that kind of thing

if I have a script.

Okay.

Yeah.

But I'm not, it's wet enough.

We've got a guy working on a script.

Yeah.

We've got David Mammet working on a new French.

Oh, I don't do theater anymore.

I'm not really doing theater anymore.

He's doing it for.

Oh, he's got a YouTube channel?

No, it's for Air Canada.

Fabulous.

I love that.

That would be great if the safety video was written by David Mammet.

Well, different airlines are trying to be funny now, right?

With their safety videos to keep people's attention.

The American airlines, especially, are like, look how silly we could be.

Yeah.

The Canada one is very earnest, the Air Canada one.

It's too earnest.

Yeah.

You know, you're in all these different.

The American ones are so funny they have Ernest.

He's the pilot.

He's trying to put on a mask.

Oh, I

years ago, I did like a GoFundMe me for a documentary about Ernest I thought it would never come out it's just come out this past week they've they've finished it you how did you hear about it I'm on the Ernest chat

and they were crowdfunding for a for a dock yeah amazing how much did you give cash wise probably I think like 50 bucks wow but they kept sending emails and I was like this just sounds like it's never gonna get done and they're working on this working on that yeah they fucking did it I love that yeah when is it gonna come out I don't know but the trailer's great and he's uh you know the whole story of no him he was a guy that would appear in commercials regional commercials as a character for like a lumber yard or like uh you know a car dealership or whatever and they would he would be for all the different states he would do these ads before it was like he never did a national ad he would like do an ad for kentucky business do an ad for an alabama business and then make separate ones yeah and then he became so well known that that they were like, put this guy in a movie.

Really?

Yeah.

Because everybody went nuts for him.

They thought it was so funny.

Was he like a

groundling or a

an improv guy?

I think he was an actor guy.

I think he was like an actor serious play kind of guy.

And he like.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

It's like the whole thing, that same format where he's talking right to the camera.

Yeah.

And that's what they did for all the ads in the movie.

They're like, well, let's just do that.

Let's do, you know, ain't broke.

Don't fix it.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

So that's.

That's so cool.

I know.

It's the first GoFundMe I've been a part of that actually finished a thing.

Yeah.

Thanks for the funding.

We didn't finish.

Kind of ran out of steam.

But we all got Vespas, so that rocks.

I do like it when they...

Well, no, I don't like it.

Just take my money and don't give me any updates.

I don't want an update.

No.

We're working on, we're in post right now.

I don't care, man.

But that's why I thought I was like, oh,

I was like, this is never going to get done.

So many documentaries get started every year that never get finished.

Yeah.

Because it's probably a really big pain in the ass to make a documentary.

Like, I don't care.

Just take my money, Zach Brath.

Don't make the movie.

I don't care.

Did you ever make that movie?

I guess so.

Did you give Zach Brath money?

No.

Good.

I didn't give Zach Brath money.

I didn't give Veronica Mars money.

What was Veronica Mars?

We're making more Veronica Mars's.

Was the Veronica Mars movie a Kickstarter?

What was Veronica Mars?

She a detective of some sort?

She was a child detective.

She was sort of

Nancy Drew.

Okay, okay.

And

she's grown up, and then she's she's the mother of a new

one.

I don't know what they did with the movie.

I don't even know what they did with their TV show.

I tried watching it once.

Can't find it.

No,

I watched.

Oh, okay.

I was going to say there's a problem.

I tried watching it.

Well, I couldn't get my TV to turn on.

So I gave up.

I gave him him 50 bucks.

They'll fix it.

I sent away for TV PCR repair course.

I'm GoFundMe this kid to take a TV repair course.

Have you ever donated to a GoFundMe or anything else?

All the time.

Yeah.

Which one is the one that you have?

Oh, I do all the medical ones.

I'll always do, especially if it's someone that we know.

Oh, if it's somebody ill, yes.

Yes.

I love doing those ones.

It's because it's so easy, right?

Yeah.

You like anonymous.

Shhh, $25.

Tad, tat, tat, tat, tat.

Yeah, anonymous.

Put your name on it.

No, because I'm only giving $25.

Now, if we're giving $100, you better believe it's A, Caitlin Howden.

So it's capital list.

A, oh, yeah, Anastasia.

Just so I'm first in the phone book.

Oh, fair.

Yeah, I do like doing that, but I'll also get a little bit dangerous with it because I've been known to like have a few sips and then start donating.

Yeah.

Like a.

You're like, well, why not?

I can have wine.

Why can't they make a movie?

I can have wine.

They can make a movie.

I can have wine and they can make a movie.

That's nice.

Let's get this guy a car.

Seems like this young man in Louisiana needs a car.

Yeah, the word.

I'm all over the map, Graham.

I'm all over the map.

The weird ones are when it's like you see about it on social media.

You don't know these people.

You don't know them.

But you follow the person who has already donated and is like, hey, this person really needs your help.

Yeah.

You're like, okay.

At a certain point, I had to just be like, I can't save every dog.

Yeah.

But like dogs, I will always give to.

It's so bad.

I know.

If anybody's sick, that's my, I will always donate if somebody's sick.

But there was like some, I remember there's one that somebody's parent had been like defrauded for a bunch of money.

And I was like, that doesn't

seem like a GoFundMe issue, but I guess if they lost a lot of money.

Although, is this, are you defrauding me now?

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

There's also, it's very easy to set up for fraud.

Sure.

Yeah.

That's why it is true.

It's dangerous when I start donating to a random person in Louisiana versus like, you know, someone in Toronto who's like, help Tiki.

Or not, actually, Tiki was the dog that I gave a lot of money to.

What happened to Tiki?

Tiki was a rescue dog.

Oh, shit.

He's in New York.

He's in New York?

He's okay.

Oh, that's good.

Yeah, he's okay.

Was he in New York at the time or he moved to New York?

He needed some money to get out of the city.

He had to get out of the city.

He needed a little seed money.

Yeah, his roommate was being a real jerk and he had to to get out of there.

He's trying to get out of a polycule.

I just learned that word, and I still don't know what it means, polycule.

It's like a polyamorous

arrangement or like a relationship.

Polycule.

Yeah.

It's the name of the group of people.

A polyamorous group would be a polycule.

Right.

It's a way of saying polyamorous group.

I feel bad that we are talking so stupidly about it.

Well, I've never heard this phrase before.

Yeah, and we're stupid.

Yeah.

A group of people connected through romantic and or sexual relationships.

For me, it's and

often with a polyamorous context.

Okay.

I'm a big and

yeah, yes, and.

I had a friend that was in one, and her takeaway from it was a lot of scheduling.

A lot of scheduling.

Oh, that sounds like the worst part of it.

The Google image searches for Polycule are either this sort of like

a dot, or a bunch of people holding a woman's head, or a sort of like

Darth Vader?

It looks like sort of how you would do a map of like broken social scene.

Like,

yes,

this person is also in stars, and this person's in Metro.

I've seen that in Vanity Fair.

You know what I mean?

That thing where it's like the little drawings of the music.

Yeah,

the matrix of whatever.

Yeah.

Highbrow, lowbrow.

Yeah, I don't, the fact that it's the organizing and the scheduling that is the downside.

Yeah.

Can you imagine?

Well, of course that would be the downside.

I bet you there's an app.

Some people love it.

They love organizing.

I wonder if they have an app for Polycules where it's like you put in all the members

and then you rank them from hottest to nottest.

Yeah, and then you like figure out schedules that way.

It's kind of like split-wise.

Yeah.

Yeah,

like my kids have played sports and I play sports and there are, I feel like there's a lot of the like

team apps that would work for this.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

A friend of mine was telling me she's on one of those conversation message boards.

There's like a special app, right?

It's something like We Team or something like that.

Is this

that sounds real?

Okay, it's an app for like parents and their kids and like sports organizing the team.

Sure.

And one of the parents wrote in the in the group message being like, actually, this is kind of a callback to what we were talking about before.

She said,

I think we should not be on this app.

It is disgusting the ads that I'm seeing.

It is not appropriate for children.

And it is not okay.

And this is like, I'm on my husband's phone and it's just advertising.

It's just tits.

Big booty queens.

Because I was reminded of that story because I was thinking about my overheards for the episode.

I'm not using that one, obviously.

But I just thought that was a good way of also being like.

But messaging a bunch of parents, too, that are all on the hockey team.

You're going to see them or the soccer team.

It's embarrassing.

It's very embarrassing.

Yeah.

If anybody out there is wondering, the ads you get, because of the other things you're saying to you.

Because of you.

It's for you.

Yeah.

Sometimes, you know, on a YouTube video, everybody's seeing the ad for the new Grand Theft Auto.

That's across the board.

We can all talk about how much we hate that.

That was bought.

Yeah.

That was bought, and you have to watch it.

That's on purpose.

Yeah.

Because I'm not getting YouTube premium.

No way.

Nuh.

Yeah, I'm getting a lot of tenna.

Tenna pads?

Tenna, like, yeah, undergarments.

Oh, sure.

Like, you know, absorbent undergarment.

Oh, yeah, it's the underwear, period underwear.

Yeah, or piss underwear.

Or leaky.

Or piss.

Piss or period.

Leaky guy.

I'm getting a lot of those just on our general family YouTube that no one logs into.

Do you think they

could do worse?

I think they're the general.

Unless someone is.

Oh, my kids have been searching piss pants.

Pissy pants.

That's a new cartoon.

No, that's a cool cartoon.

No, it would be.

Yeah.

There was a show, Too Hot to Handle.

There was an episode where they were talking about how has anybody

ever had somebody say something negative about your vagina.

And

one woman said,

she said like...

One thing and then this other woman just started listing off things to the point where it was like, oh, no,

that's not a common thing.

Oh, you have a bunch of like, you're not experiencing misogyny.

My doctor keeps saying things like

that's exactly what it was.

Everybody else just had one thing and she had like six things.

And I was like, oh,

we were just.

Then a plastic dinosaur came out of my butt.

That's not right.

Anyways, Dave, what's going on with you, my friend?

Well, I just did one of my.

Do you ever do something and it

unlocks a bit of nostalgia?

Oh, yeah.

I think I just unlocked my favorite summer activity.

Oh, here we go.

I had just taken, this afternoon, I took my kids to the park

and

I'm like, it's taken a long time, but they're now at an age where I can just.

They can run off and play on the playground.

I don't have to do anything.

And so I was lying down and I put my baseball cap over my face.

Classic.

And then I started looking through the little holes of the baseball cap and I was like transported back to my childhood.

That is amazing.

I remember that exactly.

You would like look at the little holes, the air holes in the cap.

Yeah.

Wow.

And that is

so long.

Also, like just at tipping your cap to have a nap, the best.

That's one of the best things of summer.

Yeah, I can't nap in public.

I can, and it's crazy.

You can fall asleep around strangers?

I can fall asleep wherever I want.

Really?

Yeah.

Like, it wasn't I can fall asleep anywhere.

It's I can fall asleep wherever I want.

Wherever I want.

Yeah.

So like your fault.

So he can't be like, go to sleep.

He's not going to do it.

It's not narcolepsy.

Yeah, it's what I do.

It's a choice.

Yeah.

I almost fell asleep on the plane that coming in to Vancouver from Salt Spring.

That's only a 15-minute flight.

Graham, get your iron tested.

Oh, no, I'm great.

If anything, I have to donate some of my iron.

I have too much iron.

Make you sleepy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He goes pee and you hear a clanging in the toilet.

Well, that's because he's making a wish.

So did you put your feet in the pool at all?

No, I didn't.

Oh.

But you would have, if your kids were smaller, I guess.

You'd be in the park?

Well, no, the pool.

We just went to the pool that has like a little waiting pool.

No, I didn't.

I just didn't.

I don't have an answer for you.

It's too busy, Lyon.

It's that hot today.

No, no.

But it's also sitting.

Like, when was the last time you just had time to just sit and stare at clouds?

Yeah.

I mean, you do.

I fall asleep, though.

Oh, my God, Crayon.

It's so beautiful.

Oh, my God.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay, let me get the cameras.

We got to get the cameras out.

This is going to go viral, y'all.

For the clips.

So that's one thing I did.

The other thing, of course, well, I saw F1.

Okay.

This is Brad Pitt car movie?

Brad Pitt versus the cars.

Okay.

Versus lightning movie.

I was going to say the cars, okay.

Versus Risco Case.

Yeah, it's

it's, I don't know.

What do you know about cars?

Which one is F1 or F1 is open-wheeled racing.

So it's the long car.

It's not

drag racing.

No, I know, but it's drag racing funny cars.

That's what I'm thinking of is funny cars.

I know city cars.

Like I can tell you if it's a Honda.

I can tell you if it's a Nissan.

I can tell you the make and the model.

It'd be a great witness.

Yeah.

It's getting harder though.

It was a 1998 Toyota Camry.

I can tell because they don't make them.

They don't make those sedans like that anymore.

There was a few years, maybe just one year in the mid-2000s.

I was behind one of these cars yesterday.

This is why I thought of it.

The Toyota Camry came in like light green.

Oh, yeah.

And then Toyota remembered, we're a car company.

Yeah, we're going to get serious.

We're not a soap company.

Yeah, this is an impopsicles.

But F1 is the one where they go.

Oh, yeah, okay.

But it's not, what's the other one?

NASCAR.

It's not NASCAR.

What does NASCAR do?

Thank you.

NASCAR, they go in circles.

Well, no, no, that doesn't make sense because the first sound you made was a circle sound.

No, I was trying to do a car going past you so fast.

Okay.

And then you don't see it again for a while, and then it comes past.

where do the cars go?

Through a city?

Sometimes, sometimes they do.

Yeah.

Because they did it in Vegas, right?

They do it in Vegas.

They do Monaco.

Yeah.

And then they'll do a racetrack.

Monza.

Man, imagine trying to get across that street.

Just waiting for the light.

Did you ever watch the, I feel like a few years ago, there was a Netflix documentary show about F1 and then people got into it.

I tried.

Yeah.

Didn't care.

Yeah, I know.

I made it a couple of years and then

they really did a good time.

They like picked a good time to start it because

there was one guy, Lewis Hamilton won every week.

Right.

And then

he was sort of overtaken by Max Verstappen.

And then Max Verstappen won every week and it got boring again.

So now

so I stopped watching.

But then they made this movie and I was like, well,

I'd like to see a thing on IMAX.

Yeah.

And I did.

And it was one thing I'll say is it was very international.

Like, I heard so many languages around me as I was waiting for the movie to start.

Oh, like the movie itself wasn't multilingual, but the audience was.

No, the movie itself is in English.

Although you do, you know, you have your bardems in it, and he's speaking Spanish a little bit.

You can do whatever he wants to ever.

And it's about Brad Pitt is a guy who is like, used to be a race car driver, F1 race car driver, and then

got in an accident, and now he races.

This was the accident himself?

Was it his fault, the accident?

I don't remember.

Okay.

This wasn't like a, I get one last kick of the can, I fucked up.

This was when he was young.

He got in an accident.

Okay.

It wasn't like he was drinking.

He lost his wife and kids.

In an F1 car.

He shouldn't have been in it.

And then

he's out of F1 and then he's like, for the last 30 years, he's been racing any other, other, anything he can do.

He'll like do,

he wants to do the Baja race, which is in Mexico, I guess, on like sand dunes.

And he's been racing

any opportunity he can to race.

He lives in a van and he goes from place to place racing and whatever.

And then his old buddy, Javier Bardam, is like, you got to get back in F1.

F1 needs you.

Yeah, we need a guy like you in F1.

And then it's stupid.

I'm really tempted to get into F1 just so that like so my husband loves hockey and he will find an excuse sometimes to be like well i'm gonna go watch the oilers play in vegas sure and i'm like oh okay you're like don't you own a sports park you can watch it there yeah exactly or he's got he went to new york this this year to watch the three oilers games oh really they were playing all the new yorkish teams does he know that they play out of edmonton as well yeah have you been to edmonton that's true you got me yeah um

and i've decided i'm gonna get into f1 so that i can be like well i gotta go to monaco yeah there's a big race

you know we all love sports in this family, and we've all made sacrifices for sports.

Got to go to the season ender in Azerbaijan.

I got to go to, I got to go to, where'd you say it was?

In Mexico?

The Baja?

Well, Baja, the peninsula.

I got to go to the peninsula.

You know what I mean?

That's not F1.

That's the other racing he's trying to do.

Oh, I'm going to go see the qualifiers.

Yeah, you go see the qualifiers.

Is he sleeping in his car?

Is he like poor?

Is he like down on his luck in this movie?

He's down on his luck.

I guess he's poor.

He's just like not tied down.

Right.

Yeah.

He's unmoored.

But it's whatever.

It's silly.

Yeah.

Is it possible that someone could just suddenly be good at F1 racing?

No, no, no.

Not you or I, but a guy who's been racing for Brad Pitt's character?

Like, well, yeah.

It wasn't too much of a stretch that he could.

No, because he had done it before and then he never stopped racing.

I mean, maybe it's a stretch.

Yeah.

You knew, like, people do get too old for it.

Yeah.

Danny Glover is too old for it.

I had to get a bigger car because I can't get out of small cars anymore.

You know what I mean?

My back, my knees.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

You're telling me.

What was your smaller car that you had to?

Wait, a Prius?

Yeah, a Prius.

It's really hard to get out of.

And we have like a little SUV.

Oh, cool.

Yeah.

You step up.

You can do it.

Yeah.

You got to get out.

When you get out, you just kind of fall out.

Yeah.

So you're not intimidated on the highways.

You got an SUV.

I'm terrified on the highways.

Yeah?

Even an SUV.

Can I tell you guys a driving story?

Yes, please.

So Brad Pitt.

Brad Pitt's next to me.

No.

I was driving to work one day and I like to treat myself to, you know, a little coffee.

This morning I went to Starbucks.

I got an iced coffee and some egg bites.

Oh, and you need to go out to...

Is this going out to the...

I'm going to set, yeah.

So it's like an hour and a half away.

Remind us the name of the.

Well, it's the season two of the Chicken Sisters.

We did just, we haven't said it yet.

That's right.

We were shooting season two of Chicken Sisters coming out August 10th on Hallmark and the W network here in Canada.

Love it.

And so I'm driving out to work out in Alder Grove, which is, yeah, like an hour and a half away.

So I make myself a little, I have a little breakfast.

You like those egg bites?

I don't, actually.

I don't either, but they're the only thing I can have.

But I needed to eat something.

I knew it was going to be in the car for a while.

So I eat the egg bites.

Now, what do you got?

The pepper?

I'm doing the egg white.

I'm doing the egg white and the roasted red pepper.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I'm eating the egg bites and I merge onto the highway and people drive too fast on the highway.

Yeah.

Everyone's going too fast, especially for traffic.

How fast should they be going?

A little over the speed limit.

Okay.

Just a little bit.

There's no need for swerving.

I'm a big believer in 10 over the speed limit.

Me too.

Honestly, Dave, me too.

Should be in the right lane.

Yeah.

I was in the right lane in this story because it was really trafficky.

So I'm not going more than 20 kilometers an hour.

That is very trafficky.

Yeah.

And I'm in my brand new car, right?

We just got a new, we got an electric car.

Nice.

It's very fun.

And I'm driving to work, and I realize that these egg bites are not sitting well.

Oh, no.

And I'm wearing kind of like a Moo Moo type style dress.

Oh yeah, electric car Moo Moo.

It's totally

one goes with the other.

Well no, I'm going to throw up.

Oh no.

I'm going to throw up like it's happening now.

Not when I can pull over.

Not

it.

It's happening now.

And I look around me in the car.

It's a brand new car.

I can't barf in a brand new car.

I look at what I'm wearing.

It's a smock.

It's going to go right through, right?

Yeah, yeah.

To my right is my beautiful bag.

It's this like saddle leather bag.

I've had it for years.

I'm not barfing in that the only thing left is my doctors without borders tote oh no but you love doctors without borders love doctors without borders i'm saying in french so les doctor sans

med sin san frat medé san fretia yeah okay doctors without borders okay so i take the tote i empty it

I put each hoop around my ears like a little feed bag on a little horsey.

And you're still driving.

And I'm driving and I'm throwing up and I'm barfing into this canvas tote

and and and that's when I realized listeners uh trigger warning we're gonna hear a story about barf yeah oh yeah so I barf into the tote yeah and I feel great

yeah it's one of those instant

feel I feel so much better until I realize it's a canvas tote

I have to act quickly right so I'm like well I can't just leave it in the car and I look at the tote and I'm like well

you've been good to me tote this is where we part ways and I undo the passenger side window and I kind of tie it in a little knot and I huck the tote out the window along the highway

and I slowly drive away

and I'm still around all the cars I was with

wow barfing and feed bagging my tote around my ears like a sick horse

I was picturing you like I want to keep the tote so I rolled down the window stuck it out but then rolled it back up and just had the little handle in it.

No, because it was

coming out the bottom.

I know, but the bottom, but like, I mean, you're on the outside.

I'm on the highway.

Yeah.

Are you going slow?

I wasn't sure.

I would have probably just barfed out the window.

Do you ever see people?

I can't barf.

Can you lean over?

I can't barf out.

Yeah, I'm driving.

Yeah.

I mean, in the Prius, yes.

But in this one, no.

No, this is electric.

Also, I did have to ask when we got the electric car.

I was like, so how do you wash it?

And if it rains, is there like a big umbrella?

Should I not do rain?

Oh, man, what about a bottle?

Can it get wet underneath?

She's asked how to wash it.

Let's really upsell her on all the other things that don't exist.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you're definitely going to want to come in for an oil change.

Yeah, you want to see.

Oh, yeah.

I broke up with Mr.

Lube.

I was like, well, I guess this is it, Mr.

Lube.

Never going to need you again.

Yeah, that's right.

For American listeners, non-Canadian listeners, Mr.

Lube is a chain of sexual pleasers,

a chain of

like car

maintenance.

You drive through car maintenance places, not just a guy who she's branding up with.

I've had him.

Mr.

Lube.

I was watching, I think, hockey a few months ago, and there was an ad for like,

what was it?

Like franchises.

Like, it was like, we're a company that sets people up with franchises.

And I went to their website and I searched to see see what franchises are like the most expensive.

Mr.

Lube is the most expensive franchise.

I guess because you need to have a whole setup.

Yeah, you need to dig a whole dig.

Yeah.

Because

a subway can go anywhere.

But,

yeah.

And yet it only goes in the saddest of places.

Somehow, wherever there's a subway, there's no shade, no trees.

It's all sidewalk and cement and it's rough and the door's too hot and it's sticky.

I don't like it.

And yet I love a Subway sandwich.

Yeah.

I mean, I like an egg bite.

Will you ever have egg bites again?

I can't.

Well, I know I will.

It'll just be a while.

Yeah.

It's no, but it's no, you don't have to get to know them again.

They're gross.

When am I.

Yeah, they were gross.

And it's also old egg.

I was.

Yeah.

It's not gross.

I'm the idiot.

I showed it to Rick that day and I, then I didn't have a tote, so I'm just walking around with my script, my water bottle, and all my things in my hands.

It's a canvas tote.

Well, of course it's a canvas tote.

Well, I'm saying, you know, like some have a little bit of a, you know, if it's a liquor store tote, maybe there's a bit of a plastic in there liner to it.

Oh, yeah, you got a fancy tote every now and then.

Yeah.

Or like

a tote made out of shower curtains.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that'd be perfect.

Upcycled.

Well, I'll tell you what's in my car now.

A Ziploc bag.

Nice.

Oh, my God.

What would be worse, seeing a tote bag full of barf or a Ziploc bag full of barf?

Well, I wouldn't have to throw out a tote.

No, but then you can, and then you just seal it.

Yeah.

And there's let it.

And then you hook that.

If we had our own branded totes, we would give you one right now.

Thanks, guys.

Well, I am down a tote, so.

I have this Retail Nightmares one right here.

Yeah.

Do you want to bar from that?

No, I'm okay for now.

Let me get some old egg in me.

Well, check it out.

It's Retail Nightmares.

It's our rival podcast.

It's a good Dracula.

It's Dracula here.

I believe this was designed by past guest Chris Von Zombathy.

It's a cute-ass Dracula.

Yeah, it's a good tote.

We love everyone over there at Retail Nightmares.

Yeah, we wish you

won't bar from that tote.

Yeah.

What's going on with you, Graham?

This past weekend, I

was

had to do a show in Port Moody.

Have you guys ever been to Port Moody?

I don't think so.

Pomo.

Have you been?

I think so, but I don't know.

They're the tri-cities there.

It's Porquitlam, Port Coquitlam, and Port Moody.

And I think I went to Port Moody.

I think I've been to all of them.

There's also Burr Quitlam, Quitlam, which is a hybrid of Port Quitlam and Burnaby.

How far is it from the regular Quitlam?

It's an hour

and 20 minutes?

An hour or 10 minutes?

Port Moody?

Did you go for the weekend or just for

a show?

It's just doing a show, but it was a long way to drive to just

15 minutes of material.

I'm looking it up.

I think I can get you there faster than an hour 20.

What do you got on Waze?

Waze is saying

from right now.

Yeah, but he's not leaving right now.

This is for the show.

You know, it was a weekend.

That's true yeah yeah traffic's so much worse on the weekend it is

it is everyone's out of school it's 4 30 on a friday when would traffic be worse than right now you're right actually no this is a very good time and it's a very good time 55 minutes 55 minutes okay so still a long way to go for 15 minutes that i'm not headlining i'm on a show showcase style show oh that's very nice of you to do that um they were paying me money and so i yeah i know but usually you would headline like it's that's very you know well uh I'll tell you just how not headlined I was.

But

Sally and I, we thought we'd make a day of it.

We'll go to Port Moody.

Sure, it's going to take us five hours to drive out.

And

we're going to go, I'm going to look up thrift stores and I'm going to look up somewhere to eat and make it into a late house.

What time of day was the show?

Show started at 8.8.

I had to be there at 7.30.

I feel like it's a town where the thrift stores close hours before the show would start.

Yeah, the like,

you know, nurse auxiliary thrift stores are closed quite early.

Yeah.

Value Village open till 11.

That's all right.

Yeah.

And I went there, and just as I was checking out, the lady was like, are you part of the Value Village Saver Club?

I was like, absolutely.

And she said, check your email because there's a 30%

coupon code in there.

That was pretty great.

That's what people like in smaller cities.

Take care of each other.

What'd you get?

Oh, a whole bag of fun t-shirts.

Yeah.

For the clothing swap.

Yes.

Yeah.

And I got one.

I think it's going to look pretty good on you, Dave.

And me too.

Yeah, absolutely.

This is a co-ed.

So we were out doing stuff, and I'm collecting little bits.

I'm going to use those on stage, you know, little bits.

There we went to an ice cream place.

It was hilarious because it was an ice cream place that was, if you wanted to go to the gym that was attached, you had to walk through the ice cream place.

If you wanted to leave, you had to walk through the ice cream place.

Oh, that's awesome.

It was so, it was so crazy.

And their ice cream?

Phenomenal.

Oh, and their treadmill?

Height.

Yeah.

Those medicine balls for days.

You know, yeah.

I went in there.

I'm doing the ropes.

I got

ice cream everywhere.

Yeah.

I just go holding my mouth while I do the ropes.

So I'm picking up little things.

You know, okay, there's this place.

There's we, there was something called Golden Spike Days where it was like volleyball.

It was like, you know,

a bunch of vendors and some live music.

Hear me out.

Golden Spike.

Golden T is the game you play, the golf game you play in the bars.

Golden Spike would be a video game, but it's like that punching a

spiking a.

Yeah, I like that.

And then

we just watch the money roll in.

Trademark.

Trademark trade trial.

Trademark.

4:30 Thursday.

Trademark.

Yeah.

Friday.

So I collect all all this stuff.

I have a new night shoot.

And

I start laying them out on stage when I'm up there.

Nothing.

None of this is connects.

This town couldn't be less interested in their own town.

What?

They don't go to their own town?

They don't seem to care about it.

Except when I said that you guys have the skinniest A ⁇ W I've ever seen.

Oh, they laughed at that.

I was like, that wasn't even my top five things I saw.

What's skinny about it?

It's so small.

It's just a drive-through, but it couldn't be like bigger than 12 feet across.

It's a freestanding structure, yeah.

Wow, really, yeah, and it was uh, it was just a drive, it was great.

What do you think it was before it was an AW, or do you think it was

purposely built as an ANW to be a tiny AW?

And there's there's a you know, sign for re-it was actually a drive-through glory hole.

Oh, really?

What was it called back then?

Aiden dumped you,

and what did that stand for?

Anal and

wow, you there's oral too.

You nailed her.

Do you think maybe you had a lot of out-of-towners at your show?

No, I asked.

Oh,

I canvassed.

But what I decided to do instead is I just did a lot of chatting to the audience.

And then there was a couple there.

It was their anniversary.

Oh, yeah.

You're going to rip them to shreds.

And she knew the exact time that they first had their first kiss.

And it was at 8 p.m.

on their anniversary.

So I'm on stage.

It's like 28 to 8.

We got to make this happen.

We got it.

So just I'm killing time, killing time.

Then bring them up on stage, count down to the kiss.

They kiss.

Everybody goes bananas.

And I was like, well, I didn't have to do any research at all.

This just landed in my lap from the last second.

And that didn't make you cry?

No.

It's making you cry.

I think that's beautiful.

All I can think of is like, oh, what day of the week was it?

Oh, Saturday.

No, but when their first date was, when their first day was.

You want us to go back four years?

It was their four-year anniversary.

Oh, she's

literally going to need a Kleenex, this lady.

I'm sniffing away from the mic.

No, I just, I'm.

And I did bring Kleenex.

I've learned from podcasts.

This is how you sniff.

Okay, I'm just going to.

So this was July,

June 28th.

I've never been there that day.

Why did she know the time?

I guess maybe it was, you know, maybe it was

some kind of.

You didn't ask?

I did, but I was too excited about it.

I didn't want to get into the logistics all that much, you know?

You know what was, I think, Graham, you realized that you had magic in front of you.

It was, it was amazing.

Like, and the, because I was, I was asking the crowd, birthday, anniversary, all that kind of stuff.

And then, yeah, she spoke up and I was like, this is amazing.

This is amazing.

This will happen here tonight.

June 8th?

Yeah.

June 28th.

That was during the heat dome.

June 8th, 28th.

Oh, what day did we get?

It's a Monday.

A Monday.

First kiss on a Monday.

Oh, my God.

Kissing during the heat dome?

Kissing on a Monday?

Yeah.

That's a song.

Kissing on a Monday, eight o'clock.

I'm like, okay, I'll get these kisses done.

And then in an hour, I can watch Murphy Brown.

That's my dog's name.

Murphy Brown.

Yeah, Murphy Brown knows dog.

Love it.

She's a good girl.

She's a very good girl.

How old is Murphy now?

She'll be seven this August.

That's it.

Oh, my God.

I thought she was older.

No.

We're still young.

I thought she was 10 years older than that.

Did you get them to kiss on stage?

Yes.

And what, like, did they do tongue or?

Oh, it was all, they went too far.

They started groping each other.

Yeah, they started grinding on each other.

I was like,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're like, this is the first time we grind on each other with three after eight.

you would open it up.

You can't take it away.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, well, we just have to watch this happen, I guess.

You don't want to see what happened at 8:17.

Wrap up the show if you know what I mean.

But yeah, I had a real, real adventure in Port Moody.

Check it out if

you're ever in the area.

Would you ever move to the suburbs?

I don't think so.

No.

I need stuff around me.

I need like a store.

I need to be able to walk.

You need a wide ANW.

I need a wide, yeah, big, juicy ANW.

Is it not a walkable area?

the main strip is, but it's suburban.

Like, it's mostly just like neighborhoods.

Suburban, that's what I drive.

Oh, yeah, yeah, nice.

Elt is electric, uh, is it?

Yeah, I barfay barf all day in it.

It's not,

he's lying, he's lying.

They don't make electric suburbans.

What's the biggest electric car they make?

Hummers.

Probably the Rivian.

The Rivian.

Oh, the Rivian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rivian's real nice.

Oh, don't forget that truck that

Elon built.

Oh,

Cybertruck.

That's pretty big.

Biggest electric

SUV.

What is it?

Escalade.

Largest electric SUVs in 2025.

Whoa, that is huge.

Is it?

What is that?

The Honda Prologue.

I never even see that on the streets.

The Honda Prologue.

This one up here, though.

Yeah.

That's the pilot.

No, that's the Prologue.

That's not big.

No, that's not big.

These aren't big.

Maybe they meant big as in like popular.

No, because the first place.

Wait, go up.

Go up.

Oh, that's kind of a van looking.

That's what I have.

You know that?

No, I have the four.

Q4.

But it's an Audi.

Nice.

Must be nice.

Yeah, man.

Improv money.

Catalactyric.

Cadillac Lyric is nice, except for the fact that its front is all glass.

So if you get in any kind of fender bender, the whole glass front part breaks.

The Volvo EX90 looks big.

The Rivian looks big.

I love the Rivian.

But the GMC Hummer, that looks to be the bigger.

That's what I said.

The Hummer, baby.

I know.

I didn't believe you.

Hummer, baby?

Yeah.

It's always Hummer, you know?

I know I've told this story on this podcast before, but I used to work for Mix96 Montreal's Best Hits radio station.

I don't think we've heard this story before.

And on today's best music, Mix96.

I was going to ask what this logo was, okay?

What is today's best music?

It's today's best music.

Okay.

Mix 96.

What do they play?

Today's best music, hits.

Sabrina Carpenter.

Bit McRae.

The radio station doesn't exist anymore, but we had a Hummer.

That was like wrapped with

the logo of the radio station.

What did you do there?

I was in promotions.

Okay.

I was part of the like summer team.

We would do remotes and be like, you're on the street team?

Street team, yeah.

And we would say things like,

it's Kate on the corner of Sherbrooke and Saint-Denis

in the Hummer for the summer.

Nice.

And

I didn't realize what we were saying.

I don't know that it is like

what, that Hummer is a sex.

Hummer is a sex term.

Well, this was in 1998.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

So it was.

Sure.

Yeah.

Doing a hummer.

Like a hummer?

Yeah.

Rim job.

Well, that's like.

Well, yeah, a rim job.

The tire place on Main Street down by terminal had that as their sign forever is that we do rim jobs.

And it is like, nobody in your business, nobody said.

Yeah, you got your like

this problem child doing your signage and no one told you.

He's the owner's girlfriend's kid.

He seems fine.

He's here for the summer.

What's a rim job?

Yeah, and there's the place I always get my tires done.

It's called Big O Tires.

And I mean, you see all those Mr.

Tube Stakes running around.

They're having fun.

And Mr.

Lube itself, also.

Mr.

Lube is having fun.

We live in a very horny culture.

And yet, the patriarchy is real because it's all Mr.

Lube when it should be Ms.

Lube.

Ms.

Lube, sure.

Not even Mrs.

Lube.

She's unmarried.

Or it doesn't matter.

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's Mrs.

She's.

Maybe in a polycue with other brands.

I was struggling to come up with a second

oil replacement brand, but Mr.

Lube is it in Canada.

And then

I mean,

sure.

There went in the States, like three guys.

P1.

That's where I park my car.

Oh, yeah.

That's where it is.

I keep forgetting.

I don't get that question.

Let's see.

No, there's like all the like local places that are speedy, speedy autoglass.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

They are now speedy auto service, and they do everything.

I don't, uh, I cannot imagine changing my own oil.

Like, after seeing like the

special equipment they have, it just seems like, what, what money would I be saving?

But it's very wizard behind the curtain, Graham.

We don't know what they're up to.

You know what I mean?

A lot of time, I think they're just hanging out and being like, make them wait longer.

They'll think it's harder.

They're calling into the radio station.

Fifth caller, fifth caller.

Did I ever, did we ever play the thing online on the show that was like

speedy glass repair, speedy glass replace?

There's in America, it's safe glass repair, safe glass replace, safe glass, something like that.

Yeah.

It's in, there's like 50 of them in different languages.

Really?

It's all the

car repair places around the world.

Huh.

I'm sure we've done it before.

Oh, my mind is blown.

Huh.

That makes me think, like, was the tune

franchise, much like a.

Or like the your

uh calgary we've been looking at oh yeah there was a channel tune seven had like a big song that they would play at the beginning of the broadcast day and then years years years later npr uh

i think it was this american life did a story about it that it was a stock song that they would just swap in the name of the town into oh yeah do you remember what the song was

It was called, what was it called?

Calgary, I'm Looking at You.

Something like that.

And then they would just replace Calgary with like

Prontenac, I'm looking at you.

Yeah.

Miami, I'm looking at you.

Yeah, yeah.

Orangeville, I'm looking at you.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

And it blew my mind.

Wow.

It was Hello Calgary.

Hello, Calgary.

Yeah.

And

it was.

I assumed truth behind Hello Calgary jingle, as only American public radio could tell us.

When is this from?

This is a blog from.

This is from 2014.

2014.

Yeah.

Good year for life.

Oh, yeah.

This American Life.

Life.

Good year for This American Life.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Is that still going?

There's Hamilton.

You're asking me?

Do you guys want to move on to some overheards?

Yep.

Are you a celebrity?

Are you searching for meaning, connection, and a little levity these days?

Hi, I'm Kamal Nanciani, actor, writer, and yes, a celebrity too.

And I've got four words for you.

Bullseye with Jesse Thorne.

Are you tired of junkets, red carpets, sick of the endless spicy snacks you have to eat?

Do you want to connect with someone who gets your work and laugh with you a little?

Join me, Andre3000, Tom Hanks, Tina Faye, and many more and become a guest on Bullseye with Jesse Thorne from NPR and Maximum Fun.

Walking About is the podcast about walking.

It's a walkumentary series where I, Alan McLeod, and a fun, friendly guest go for a walkabout.

You'll learn about interesting people and places and have the kind of conversations you can only have on foot.

We've got guests like Lauren Lapkus.

I figured something out about this map.

Like how to read it.

Betsy Sedaro.

I had no key.

That's awesome and nuts.

John Gabris.

This is like great first date for like broke 20 something, you know?

And more.

Check out Walkin' About with Alan McLeod on Maximum Fun.

Overheard.

Overheards, a segment of the show where, boy, oh boy, is it fun to listen to people talk about all sorts of things?

It's even more fun to talk about them here on the podcast.

We always like to start with the guest.

Kaylin, do you you have an overheard?

I do have an overheard.

So I went out dancing last weekend.

This is great.

Sorry, Dave, Dave just had a small stroke.

My jaw was on the floor.

Yeah, we need to

go with girls' night or was it with your husband?

No, it was neither.

It was with friends.

Okay.

It was with friends.

And we had.

I go out with acquaintances.

Well, you're the acquaintance, Dave.

You're the acquaintance.

That's what they call you.

Let's do an acquaintance night, guys.

They go dancing.

Or tell me about your dance.

It was with some people.

We went out for some drinks.

And then everyone was like, I kind of want to dance.

Sure.

And I was like, well, I could get us into the Fox.

Yeah, they do dance nights there all the time.

On Saturday nights.

There's some great DJs there.

And I was like, let's go dancing.

So we went to the Fox and we went dancing.

And it was really fun, actually.

I had a great time.

And at one point, we looked over and these two people were like making out on the dance floor.

Yeah.

I was like, oh yeah, that rocks.

And then I saw,

I saw someone else kind of like walk up to the people that were making out and stop them from making out.

Oh.

And then that person walked away and then they kept making out again.

Sure.

Free country.

And I

and I overheard the person who was walking away being like,

how do they say it?

So the person had stopped the make out.

And then as they stopped the makeout, they were walking away and they resumed making out.

And I heard the person say,

that's not her husband.

And I was like, what?

Where?

What?

And so I guess the friend had been like, what are you doing?

You're making out.

You're married.

And she was like, okay, you're right.

I'm sorry.

That person friend walked away and then they kept making out again.

Wow.

But this is what happens on the dance floor.

I know.

Yeah.

It's murder on the dance floor.

Blood on the dance floor.

It's adultery on the dance floor.

What,

I never really went dancing.

No?

I went like in college, I went to a few like,

oh, everyone's going to the dance club.

And I would go and I would, like, not dance.

And then sometimes I would dance.

He's cleaning a table.

He's not dancing.

He's over there cleaning a table.

Dance,

making a house of cards out of sugar packets.

Oh, God, he brought a book.

But it was, but, like, I never really understood, like, or weddings, when the dance floor opens up on weddings and it goes for so long.

It's like, are people dancing for hours non-stop?

Sometimes.

Like, I sweat.

I'm like drenched in sweat if I dance for 10 minutes.

I left, and I was also, someone spilt a beer on me.

Yeah.

And I was

drenched.

It was the best feeling.

You get home from a night of dancing.

It's kind of why I don't have much of a voice right now because we were singing along.

It was also like 90s and early 2000s music.

So it was really my demographic.

I only like today's music, today's hits.

Today's best music.

Where do you listen to it?

Mixed 96.

I listen to Mix 96.

I listen to

Matchbox 20.

Yeah, Matchbox 20 and

and their friends.

Yeah.

Um, I've got home, and it's that feeling of like peeling your clothes off.

That's the best feeling.

Being absolutely drenched with sweat and beer.

Yeah.

I'm 42.

I don't get a lot of these nights.

You know, like when was the last time you went dancing before this?

Before this?

It was probably

Ebony's wedding.

So that was two years ago.

Two years ago.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

James doesn't get a shout out.

Great.

Oh, I mean, yeah.

Ebony and James's brother.

Here's my feeling that I like to, when I like to peel clothes off, is

I used to be when I went skiing, but now when I play hockey,

my socks.

Yeah, Dave's a big socker.

And all the texture of the socks is on the roof of your foot.

Wait, I want to call it that from now on.

You guys, I got a tan on the roof of my foot for my Birken socks, and it's hilarious.

I have to wear socks today because of my tan on my roof.

My foot.

Well, they say roof of your mouth, but it's really the ceiling of your mouth.

That's right.

Your head is the scalp.

Your scalp is the roof of your head.

Yeah.

Well, it's the roof of your mouth, too, because there's nothing.

Holy cheese.

It's just like a lot of insulation.

Wow.

So the attic is my brain.

The attic is

your brain.

And the pipes is my nose and my ears.

Yes.

You're getting it.

Wow.

And the eyes are the gargoyles.

My God.

Oh.

The throat is the toilet.

Nobel prize in biology to caitlin the throat is the toilet i guess you do put things down there yeah that's where everything goes oh wow i know the human body hasn't really blown my mind today yeah well you're an addict

i would love to take you guys dancing yeah i love it i've i've we'll be home by 2 2 30 the latest uh oh i have a dentist appointment get home at 2 30

oh no that's that's the best part you can't sleep sleep in past 7:30.

No, no,

the sun's up.

Yeah, but you know, people have blinds and such.

Do you

can you sleep in?

No,

can I sleep in?

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

To what?

Like, if you have

someone's told you, I want you to sleep in tomorrow.

Yeah.

Okay.

Look, I'm serious.

Yeah.

What can you do?

There's a million dollars on the line.

I can, uh,

I could do easily 10, 10.30, not even, not even win.

Wow, that's nice.

There's a weird thing.

I was talking with Erica about her husband jay that he will set an alarm and then like silence it and he'll literally go back to sleep like it isn't just that kind of like i don't want to get out of bed that i do that too like i can fall back asleep immediately immediately yeah as soon as i wake up i'm like what don't want to get up back to sleep oh yeah uh i have dogs who just lick their paws until i get out of bed i have dog i have a dog who has nails and she just takes time like she'll do like lifting her foot and then putting it down so all you hear is like tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap but she's not moving she's standing in place lifting up little paws and then putting them down you live uh on the top floor two three two yeah

and you when it's first thing in the morning you're really tired you take the dog on the balcony or you take the dog down to the street I mean we have a garden and there's a rock

on the balcony right so we we have a we have a the upstairs sure

okay we take her upstairs okay and then I'd say every other day, not every day, that's crazy, once or twice a week, I will spray those rocks with like a vinegar, alcohol, water.

It rains a lot here.

I know, but still, the rain can, like, you gotta, you gotta pick up the poop right away because it does rain a lot.

Oh, sure, yeah.

Do you ever just hang her butt over the edge of the

balcony and screw it?

I did, but I did it the wrong way around, and then she just shot on the balcony.

Oh, no,

she wanted to see the view,

she wanted to watch time fly.

Um, but you just opened the door and you let them go nuts yeah yeah well we uh irma had knee surgery so she uh what happened she tore her acl well ccl it's called in dogs

uh handball yeah yeah she got a handball she was playing soccer and she was called for handball and so the other team got a penalty show yeah um and she it was when it snowed They're never, we never let our dogs off leash because they're insane.

Yeah.

But we were, it snowed and we went into like the tennis court area up the street.

And because Noah, they couldn't be around other dogs.

And then they just went crazy in the snow.

And then she was limping.

And so she tore it and

had surgery in, well, I guess

end of April.

And then it was supposed to be four months of recovery and it is.

But as of yesterday, she just got her last x-rays.

You're going to cry.

Oh, she's just so little.

Well, she's 45 pounds.

Yeah.

She's the biggest.

Don't shame her.

Don't shame her like that.

And they now say she can go on longer walks.

She can't be off leash, which is fine.

But she can now resume climbing stairs.

So I no longer have to

go up and down the stairs.

For four months, you've had to carry her?

For two months.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Two more months.

I would have to if she wasn't.

If he had one of those acorn stair lift situations.

Put her around that and away she goes.

We got to get her one of those walk-in bathtubs.

Oh, my God.

Dave, do you have an overheard?

Yeah, which one?

Which one are we going to use today?

Oh, I've got a little

reservoir of them.

A little reservoir tip.

I'm going to start doing that.

Even though I do the podcast once a year, I'm going to have a note.

Yeah.

I keep going right now.

It just says, like, when you have something, put it there.

Yeah.

Okay.

This is from Canada Today.

Canada Today was July 1st this year.

And

it's July 1st every year.

Okay.

Smart pants.

Wait.

Thank you.

And I was in a grocery store, and there were some people,

young women, I might even say, you know, cool women going to a party, going to a Canada Day party.

And

they rounded the corner.

There were three of them, rounded the corner in the grocery store, and they were like, anything else we need for the party?

And they turned the corner and they all gasped.

And they all spotted, we need mini pepperoni sticks.

That's not a party without them.

And then one of them goes, but

let's gatekeep them for ourselves.

Yeah.

I hope they make Caesars out of it.

A little pepperoni stick on a Caesar for the Americans.

That's our clam and tomato juice.

Yeah.

It's our either vodka or gin or what do you call Bloody Mary?

Bloody Mary.

But it's not Bloody Mary's tomato juice.

I know, but it's our.

Okay, but it's not.

Okay, but it's.

But like, what else is the difference?

The clam.

Yeah, okay.

So for Americans, it's like a Bloody Mary, but with clemato instead of

tomato.

And I would also say a Bloody Mary often has just a salt rim, whereas a Caesar has a celery salt rim.

Often with a Bloody Mary, you're just getting a lemon wedge and a celery, whereas with a Caesar, you're getting all

the possibilities are endless.

I think

you'll find Bloody Marys are going crazy on those as well.

Really?

They're putting pepperoni in a Bloody Mary?

They're putting like a

balancing of hamburger ones.

What do we call this garnish?

No.

Yeah.

Decoration, snacks.

But it's, I think I've maybe had two

Caesars in my life.

I've never had two.

I'm allergic.

Oh, yeah, you could.

They'd kill you.

Yeah.

I've had a Bloody Mary, and I was like, I don't understand what the fuss about this is.

Well, it's a meal.

It's a meal that I can't say.

It's a meal, yeah.

Yeah, it's like insure, but for fun, for fun.

Oh, man, I could go for some insure right now.

That's the only I have for dinner.

I'm going to have some.

Are you a big Caesar lady?

I love Caesars.

Do you have them?

How late in the day can you have them?

Or are they just brunch?

Oh, well, see, I can't drink in the morning.

Okay.

I have a heart.

I find that really hard to like.

Why are you not sleeping in that?

I'm up at six in the morning.

I'm drinking.

Yeah.

He's making prank phone calls by nine o'clock.

Because I'll start donating to too many things.

I'll get broke.

I can have a Caesar in the afternoon.

Yeah.

Like, I'm not going to have it past five.

Sure.

And then are you yawning by eight?

I feel like if I have a drink in the afternoon, I'm like, boy, boy, am I yawning by?

Well, that's probably drinking the morning for me where I'm like, I can't have a drink in the morning.

I'll be asleep by noon.

That's great.

Yeah, man.

That sounds fantastic.

Go to the park, stare over the clouds.

Fall asleep in the park, look through your hat.

Actually, I'm unemployed now.

We all got an email from the show a couple of weeks ago being like, this is your notice of termination.

I was like, just say that the season's wrapped.

Yeah, we know.

I mean, I know.

Like, you can go on EI now, basically.

Yeah, this show's not ongoing.

It's not a weekly show for the rest of my life.

You've been terminated.

You You have been terminated.

Oh, my God.

I know.

Do you do any impressions?

Thank you.

Okay.

Do you?

No.

Okay.

That's not.

Do you?

No, but I do.

Oh, oh,

Layla from Futuramma.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

Can I hear it?

Fry.

Oh, that's good.

Yeah.

That is good.

Come on, Fry.

Fry.

I do one.

I do Katie Couric, but just online.

I pretend I'm her.

Mine is.

Hey, everybody, watch this camera go in my butt.

Who Who am I?

Katie Crick.

I'm Katie Crick.

If you guys mess up my chances with getting on her goddamn podcast network, I'm going to be furious.

What if she's like, that wasn't me?

That was Deborah Norville.

Please, from Inside Edition, I think I know the difference.

I don't.

I was going to say she was from a current affair.

Ah.

No, I thought she was Inside Edition.

I'm just saying I don't know the difference between those shows.

I don't, you know what?

Or Or hard copy.

Which was

Bill O'Reilly?

Was that Inside Edition?

He was Inside Edition, too, yeah.

They were the best.

See if you can get him on your podcast.

Wait, is he dead?

No, he's doing great.

What's going on with you?

Over her guard?

Yeah.

Shut up.

Guys, I've been drinking since 6 a.m.

So I was at

the aforementioned Golden Spike Days.

And then it was 5.07.

I just want to just double check on how long it would take to get there there right now.

Okay, 5.07?

Probably more than 55 minutes.

I bet you're guessing.

That's what I'm guessing.

Port Moody.

Do we have any guesses?

I'm going to say an hour, seven minutes.

I'm going to go right at an hour.

You're not going to like this.

Hour 22?

55 minutes.

Damn it.

Wait, what highway are you taking?

That's crazy.

Okay, we're going to go.

Get on a bike.

12th thread first.

We're going to take Broadway.

That's insane.

Okay.

To Willingdon, and then...

And then what do you do in Grand View under the highway?

You're going to take first.

I don't think we're taking the highway.

Oh, we had to get on the highway to go there.

There's got to be a highway.

Well, yeah, there's a highway if you

want it to take an hour or five.

Oh,

I've been taking highways everywhere.

What an idiot.

They seem faster.

Yeah.

And the great thing about highways is they're perfect if you need to barf.

So it's at Golden Spike days.

There was a talent show.

I never forget what it was.

Oh, yeah.

There's a talent show.

At the Golden Spike days, Golden Spike being the

railroad.

Oh,

we got distracted by the game invention.

Yeah, that's true.

And it was talent show on the stage.

And we walked in.

There was a teenager on stage with a guitar,

said into the microphone, this is an original.

And we're like, oh, this is going to be terrible.

So walked away.

I can't hear this kid's.

Yeah,

you don't want to goof on a kid.

But then I heard them announce that this six-year-old was going to sing, My Heart Will Go On.

Couldn't have made it to the stage faster.

pushing people over, yeah.

And it was the cutest goddamn thing.

And then, after performance, the MC went up.

He said, Do you know how wonderful that was?

And she just went, Yeah,

good for her.

That was good.

Yep,

I do.

I really do.

But yeah, so Golden Spike Days.

And she really nailed it too.

She liked, I was going to ask,

what was your take on her performance?

She was great.

Take

on her performance.

Take it on.

But yeah, we all love the six-year-old and big future ahead of her.

Don't remember her name.

Oh, no, what?

It was Charlotte.

Her name was Charlotte.

Does she want to be a, like, she could sing that song?

Yeah.

Oh, you don't see too many.

Did I go Irish?

Oh, yeah.

I don't see too many talent shows these days.

What's going on?

They're all on TV.

That's true.

But seeing a live talent show, it's a ton of fun, especially if there's a bunch of different acts.

Yeah.

My kids' school does a talent show at the end of the year every year.

And there's always like

some dance, some

instruments, some martial arts.

Yep.

That might be it.

I think the martial arts would be my favorite.

Yeah.

One person just doing a routine by themselves and going, Kia!

That rocks.

Yeah, I also like

a monologue.

Does anybody do a monologue?

A lot of people do impressions of

Katie Seagal.

Fry?

It's good.

Come on, Fry.

You could step in like that.

Katie Sagal wouldn't want to do it anymore.

You're in.

you

jacks?

Oh, nice.

You're good.

Yeah.

Now, we also have Overheard sent into us by people all over the world.

If you want to send one in, just send it into SBY at maximumfund.org.

And this first one, person didn't sign their name on it, so I don't know who this is.

Oh my god, uh, but this was uh somebody taking his kid to a Dungeons and Dragons group, and on his way to Dungeons and Dragons group at the library, the library no less hosting Dungeons and Dragons events.

Uh, my son told my wife, I'm ready to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of ass.

Well done, kid.

So give me more bubblegum.

Yeah,

you know that movie's from.

The bubblegum and ass kicking.

No, I just thought it was a sweet

sweet kids.

It's from They Live.

They live.

Yeah, it's from a movie.

What the hell is that?

Rowdy Roddy Piper has these sunglasses where he can see who's a freaky guy.

Like, I'm going to know a movie with Rowdy Roddy Paw Piper.

Paw Piper.

I haven't seen it either, but I know that scene where he says that thing.

But that's a saying from other things, too, isn't it?

Like, I'm all ready to eat some grass and kick some ass.

Well, that's a different saying.

It's about eating grass and kicking ass.

But this is true.

This is about bubblegum.

This is about chewing bubblegum.

But what is what is the original of that?

Take a name?

Yeah, I think the original is who's got two thumbs and loves killing freaky guys with my sunglasses.

Kill them all like God, sort of out, isn't it?

You got one?

I feel like we don't know the same things.

Do you think, so you think that I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum and I'm all out of bubblegum is a generic thing?

No.

Okay.

I think it's like Hello Calgary.

Right.

I think it's been morphed many times.

And it's been, I'm here to X and Y, but the Y is a like variable.

Right.

And I'm all out of Y.

Yeah, sure.

I buy that.

Yeah.

I think it's a template.

What was the other one?

Two hits.

Me hitting you, you hitting the floor.

That was another classic.

Also from this movie?

No, that's from the Breakfast Club where the,

is it, is that the Breakfast Club?

Where the principal is threatening to beat the shit out of

Judd Nelson.

The principal says that?

Yes.

A student, who's in his 30s.

A student's in his 30s, yeah.

He also said if you mess with the bull, you get the horns.

That's the first time I ever heard that.

Well, he didn't invent that.

It's an old saying, right?

Yeah.

Goes back as far as bulls, you know.

This next one comes from Brooke.

This is in Denton, Texas.

Today I was somewhat disturbed over here.

A college guy asking a friend, they're in a bookstore.

College guy asking a friend, hey, look at those books.

Are they scratch and taste?

Scratch and taste.

No,

no, no, no, no.

There's never been something so delicious at the college bookstore.

Also, that kid was picked on in school because he was the kid licking the books.

Yeah.

I I get it.

I remember those markers, the Mr.

Sketchers, where you're like, I could eat this.

The purple one.

Yeah.

I could have

eaten that.

Yeah.

I was, yeah.

They don't make them anymore.

If they do, we don't have them.

We don't get them, yeah.

Like, because I would.

Like smelly felts?

Yeah.

They maybe, they maybe do, but

I remember them so

precisely.

And you would get them.

They would, it was a,

long, a long container.

Foam.

And you pull it out and the foam inside and you could color color the foam with the felt and be like, oh, yes, well,

you know, brown goes here, brown cinnamon.

Not the best.

Oh, what was the best?

Was it pink?

Pink bubblegum?

Boy, any of the fruit ones were good.

Yeah.

For me, it was purple grape.

Purple grape.

But

I love cinnamon in general.

Yeah.

But the cinnamon seems like salty.

Yeah.

Too spicy.

Was black licorice?

Yes.

You know what?

Let's pull up the Mr.

Sketches.

Black was licorice.

Pink was probably a bubblegum.

Yellow was some sort of like lemon-y, I want to say.

Yeah, that makes sense.

No, it wasn't banana.

I'm pretty sure if I remember it.

What was green then?

Oh, maybe green apple?

Yeah, maybe.

Mr.

Sketch Markers vintage?

Is that what we are?

Yeah.

So this, okay, so there's a list of what

flavors are what?

Oh, there were two greens.

Yellow maybe was a

yellow was a lemon.

I'm so green apple.

I'm so sorry.

This is bad.

I didn't get a good picture and now I'm in trouble and I'm wasting time.

Well

you can edit this out, right?

No, no.

This is all

I do it.

Guys, I only listen to the podcast when Kayla and Evany are on.

Yeah.

Me too.

Not James.

No.

Do you know they sent me flowers this morning?

They did?

Kayla and Ev.

For rapping?

Yeah.

It was great.

I love them so much.

They were beautiful people.

Yeah.

Inside and out.

And holy are they talented.

Yeah, I know, right?

Good lord.

This is the one I remember.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is good.

Okay.

Now I got to log in.

Oh, my God.

Play an overheard.

All right, play

my last overheard while you.

I'm not finishing it.

I'm not doing this.

We're not going to find out.

That's an itch.

Scratch it.

Okay.

So this is from Jay in the UK.

Last night I dreamt I was sort of a background person on your show.

I mostly sat there at the table and chimed in a bit.

Apparently you're recording in Graham's basement rather than Dave's, and Graham's basement had a urinal in the corner, which he warned me with considerable emphasis, did not work.

Don't be in that urinal, man.

Look at me.

Don't do it.

Shit doesn't work.

That does not work.

Shit does not work.

Wow,

that sucks that your basement has a urinal in it.

I think it rules.

The fact that it doesn't work sucks.

Well, that tells me then it's just a bathroom.

What's this?

Is this a pack of just all cinnamons?

We've lost Dave to the internet.

Well, you told me to hang out with the old drinks.

I certainly did not.

You told me to scratch this itch.

Somebody did, and our name's Kayla Adam.

You can buy replacement ones.

Okay, here's what I have at the moment.

Mr.

Sketch Scented Movie Night Chocolate Mint Chisel Tip Marker.

I don't know.

Cinnamon, mint, fruit punch is blue.

Oh, mint was green.

Well, no, it couldn't have been back then.

No, I don't remember no mint.

No, this is bad.

I think it was green now.

Okay, let's move on to overheard.

In addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls and your voice memos.

If you want to give us a voice memo, email it to spy at maximumfund.org.

And if you want to call us, it's 1844-779-7631.

That's one.

Ugh, Spypod one.

Like these people have

that was a Belgian.

Oh, nice.

That's just

that was catchy enough to send it around the world.

That's Brazil.

That's Canada.

That's a.

these are all Canada

regional

this is French Canadia

I mean that's fun

that's Germany

Spain Germany

Greece

Hungary

Anyway, you get the point.

Okay, phone calls.

Here we go.

All right, this is one that's

from a family member of mine.

Oh, okay.

Hi, I'm Poppy.

And today I was at the park, and

some kids were running past me, and

one of them fell down, and

that same kid just said on the floor, I think I broke my penis.

Off I go.

She knows how to sign off.

She's a natural.

Yeah, it's, you know, when you're a kid, it's something that's breakable.

It is.

You don't want to land on it.

And you know what?

You'll yell it at the park.

I asked later for some clarification.

It was on the little trampoline at the park.

Oh, yeah.

You're going to hurt yourself.

Because when little boys, the penis is still quite, it's glass-like, right?

When you're little.

And then as you get older, it like toughens up and hardens.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you get your baby penis, and then it's like the banana with a peel.

You slough it, yeah.

Yeah, it's like it's just like an open banana, and then the peel

and then it grows down.

It's kind of like deer that have to get their antlers off every year.

That's a year penis falls in the penalty.

And it's quite gory.

Yeah, it's awful.

And it's lost in a fight.

That's right.

Like rutting?

No,

you can rut, or you can rub your penis up against a tree, and then maybe

fall down on the trampoline at the park.

Oh, my penis.

Also, there should not be trampolines at a park.

That seems really dangerous.

The brand of trampoline is Eurotramp.

So I think it's European.

I love that name, Eurotramp.

And it's like built into the ground.

It's small, not big enough for more than one person.

Okay.

Big bounces, though, or little bounces?

Fucking big bounces.

Dude, you can bounce on that like a European.

Like freaking Yannis Antendricumpo.

The Greek god, the Greek freak.

Yes.

You've been to a sports.

I love Giannis.

Next phone call.

Hi, Dave and Craim and possible guests.

This is Casey.

I'm a

letter carrier out from Angersoll, Ontario.

I just had a fantastic overheard.

These two kids went riding by me on bikes, maybe 12 years old, and I only heard a little snippet of their conversation.

One kid goes,

oh shit, you used to watch that too.

And they were laughing with each other, like laugh of recognition.

And then just as they were passing me, I heard the one go, ah, fucking backyardigans, man.

It was really great.

Anyway, I love this show so much.

You guys are the best.

Thank you.

And I'll go, little, little, little,

Backyardigans

Polly Pocket-esque?

I don't know.

Backyardigans is something if you were on BuzzFeed, you were a a 90s kid and you liked the backyardigans.

It was a sign you were a 90s kid.

Yeah, I don't remember them exactly.

I don't know if they were a show or just a toy.

I know the name.

Yeah.

You're going to recognize it when I pull it up.

Oh, no, I don't recognize it.

I don't know that.

I don't know it either.

Oh, my God.

What did I think of?

What was I thinking of?

I don't know, though.

Go back to the markers.

But you know what?

The listener is not wrong.

You guys really are the best at this.

What is

that?

But what

with the little nerdy kid in the yard?

He's a red-headed, nerdy little toddler.

Dennis the Menace?

It might be.

Nerdy toddler.

Toddler.

Cartoon.

Now you're just going to get a bunch of

ads for, you know,

backyard cartoons.

It's rugrats, yeah.

Rugrats.

A little red-headed, nerdy kid.

Yeah, rugrat.

He's a rugrat.

Absolutely.

But that's what I, when you said backyard against, oh, boy, did I picture these guys?

Boy, that was my childhood.

Yeah, when you were a teenager.

Yeah, no, I know.

If I was a 90s kid.

You mean, does that mean you were born in the 90s?

It means different things to different people.

Because some of the BuzzFeed lists, I'd be like, yeah, I am a 90s kid.

Because I watched Safe by the Bell.

And some of them might be like, I'm not a 90s kid.

I didn't watch

rug rats.

Are you a Gen X?

I'm a cusper.

Yeah.

You guys feel Gen X.

Yeah,

we do a lot of talk about

we're both in 1980.

Yeah.

Which is the

cutoff.

I know I'm wearing cutoffs, which is.

He's not even joking.

I am wearing cutoffs.

But yeah, all my siblings are Gen X, and it's hard to believe I would be a different generation than my siblings.

And yet.

Here we go.

Speedy Glass Repairs.

Speedy Glass Replace.

Final phone call.

Hi, Dave and Graham, impossible guests.

It's Lorraine from Ohio.

Hey, I just saw F1,

and a super fun movie would highly recommend.

That's fine.

That's not great.

Because it has Brad Pitt in it.

It reminded me of an overheard from years ago whenever I went and saw Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

And there's a scene in that movie, and I think Graham has talked about it before,

where Brad Pitt climbs up on the roof and takes his shirt off, as one does.

And there was a,

I'm assuming, mother-daughter in front of me, middle-aged and elderly woman at the time.

And the elderly woman kind of gasped whenever Brad Pitt did that and kind of leaned over to her daughter and said, Oh, well, that's a nice little treat.

And then we moved off with the movie.

Anyway, that's a nice little treat.

No friggin' way.

Off I go.

That's a nice little treat.

When I saw it in the theater, there was was an audible gasp from probably like 20 people because it was like he looked amazing.

He always he is a very good-looking human being.

Yeah, but it was one of those things like he's still got

it.

He did hit his kid.

Yeah, but yeah, just don't

look into the stuff.

Yeah, Julie is not keeping the kids from him, okay?

Yeah, okay, everyone.

Um, well, that brings us to the end of this here podcast.

Kaylin, tell us what you want to plug.

Where can we, you've got this fantastic new podcast?

Yep, Yep, you can listen to your weekly breakdown on Spotify or wherever else you get your podcasts.

What is a podcast?

I've been looking into how do you download these things?

Yeah.

Should I invest in podcasts?

Also, I was like, who downloads our podcast?

I thought you just listened to it.

It's a strange thing.

Yes, there's your weekly breakdown is a podcast you can hear wherever you get your podcasts.

I do the Sunday service live every Sunday at the Fox Cabaret.

I go,

that's on Sundays, right?

Yes.

I'm there the other six nights dancing my tickets.

You're kidding.

I'm just kidding.

What night is your favorite?

90s night.

You were a 90s kid.

Polly 90 kids.

90s kid.

Play anything from the backyard against soundtrack.

And most recently, if people could watch the Chicken Sisters, season two is coming out August 10th.

It's the Chicken Sisters.

It's really sweet.

It's a southern family drama, and I'm not the dramatic one, obviously.

I get to.

You're kind of silly.

I get to play Shauna.

You have big hair.

I got big hair, big boots.

Big person.

Big boots.

I said, boots.

We got Wendy Malik, Leah Thompson, Genevieve Angelson, and Skylar Fisk are the stars of the show.

And it's really, really great.

Yeah.

Leah Thompson.

Yeah.

Oh, and you know who's on this season?

Who?

Okay, I won't say how, but remember Jag?

Yeah.

Is it Catherine Bell of Jag?

No, it's David James Elliott.

Anyways, Jag was on set one day, and I was like, whoa, Jag.

Holy shit, Jag's.

Holy shit, Jag.

Yeah, so it's the Chicken Sisters and Sunday service and your weekly breakdown.

Amazing.

Thank you so much for being our guest.

Thanks for having me, guys.

A lot of fun.

Everybody out there, if you

know what the different smells of smelly felts there were, you could really help us out of a jam.

And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.

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Episode 904 - Caitlin Howden

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