Episode 900 - Jane Stanton

Hi, he's Dave Shumka.

And he's Graham Clark.

And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Woo!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 900 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

My name is Graham Clark.

And with me, as always, says a man, I can't dream of doing 900 episodes with anybody else.

Mr.

Dave Shumka.

This is why you shouldn't write your own wedding vows.

I didn't write mine.

I just wrote.

Oh, yeah.

You were in Vegas, right?

Yeah.

Do they let you write your own vows at the drive-thru?

Yeah,

we said some vows, but I have it written down somewhere.

Or did I just, I can't remember.

Anyways,

they mean a lot.

Yeah.

Graham, there's no one I'd rather do 900 episodes with than you, big fella.

Ah, get out of here.

And I hope we get 300 more.

Yeah.

Now, I'll talk about that in a second.

And our guest today, our third ever guest on the history of this podcast.

Third ever or second ever?

First was you and I.

Second was Mr.

Ben Mill.

Well, we're not guests.

Oh, I see.

Okay.

And then technically you're our second guest ever in Stanton.

Hello.

Hello.

How are you?

I'm great.

That was hard for me not to talk.

Can you believe that we've known you that long?

And even longer, I guess.

How long is that?

We started the show 900 episodes ago.

Which is about 20 weeks.

2008.

Yeah.

That's nuts.

Yeah, because I knew you in 2008.

Yeah.

For sure.

When I first started stand-up in 1995.

What was the scene like in 1995?

It was crazy.

It was in love to wear pants.

I started in like 2005.

Five.

We were like the same time.

Wow.

You, me, Darcy.

Yeah.

The crew when we rolled up.

Yeah.

We rolled up in a crew.

I think, you know, you're right and die.

The first 20 episodes of this podcast would be the crew, I guess.

Although a lot of those

fallen soldiers.

There really is.

All right, Pete, I was going to bring, there was an episode because I was thinking about, you said it was the 900 episode.

You used to, one of them, what was the candy we put in our mouth?

Pop rock.

Thank you.

I don't know what episode it was.

I was trying to find it.

I think you brought it.

I was like, yeah, no.

I put the whole thing in my mouth and we weren't supposed to do that.

I was like,

oh, and then there was, yeah.

They'd be nice making drinks and made the quick thing.

Yeah.

You make a little milkshake that I think kind of unlocked your celiac disease.

No, I had it.

I just was like, yes, because I hadn't had it since I,

quick.

But it was quick, was the thing.

It wasn't the milk.

It was the wheat.

It was the wheat.

At the time, when we talked about it, we thought you were lactose intolerant.

And we found out, I guess, later that

we talked celiac with Darcy last week.

We love that kind of thing.

Everything.

Well, I won't step into it.

It's all good.

Do we want to get to know us?

Yes.

Get to know us.

Now,

did you know when you were on our show an episode four that you were signing a lifetime contract?

Yeah, no,

no, I did not.

I'd say the guests that we have, that we don't have back, it's mostly

because they quit stand-up altogether?

They quit stand-up or they didn't want to be on our show ever again.

What did you two do?

But then there's some that we just don't want to have them back.

It's um and a lot of them just I love them.

Like, have you guys

not aired an episode?

Never not aired.

We've lost a couple.

Yeah, but not

winks.

Okay.

No, the ones we lost with, we recorded immediately.

Yeah.

And then there was the Aaron Salazar one that we, you were sick and we couldn't re-record it.

So we have, there's one half hour episode.

Yeah.

Okay.

But yeah, there was no stinkers.

So.

No, there's been stinkers.

There's been stinkers.

Oh, there's been a couple we shouldn't have released.

Hey, guys, this is a stinker.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What are you going to do?

Yeah, but we'll go into details off my,

but also like in the COVID Zoom times, it's like, well,

this person who has their own podcast apparently doesn't own a microphone

killed me when me and Darcy were doing it.

And they would be that, they're like, yeah, I have a mic.

And then they'd show up with like.

their earbuds and then there's construction.

I'm like, where are you?

Just in my car, I pulled off the highway.

What are you talking about?

Yeah, yeah, that been in an accident.

Can you get this in post?

No, no, we can't.

No, this is bare bones.

Yeah.

You can now, you know what?

As hard as I am on AI, it can save a lot of audio these days.

It does it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's some good tools.

I'm, uh, I didn't, just don't draw me a picture of an elf.

And I don't want that.

I don't want to see

a soldier on their 100th birthday.

Yeah, I don't want to see, you know, what Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston would look like if they were average citizens think about it.

But I want to see what they look like as babies and talking.

I can't stop with that.

I'm sorry.

What, having celebrity babies?

No, but like AI generated.

Of like, I have shivers.

Oh, gosh.

It's about like dear who I don't like.

Theo Vaughn,

we could say anyone as a baby talking because he's a dum-dum.

And when he's talking, oh, I could just watch it all day.

I don't know why.

Just

you believe it.

Well, yeah.

Have you got, oh, have we got the Ovan on?

No.

No.

We had his hairstylist.

What was that, like, episode 120 or something?

What is his deal?

Like, I see clips of him, and he's got a podcast.

He's part of the Manosphere.

And he's dumb.

Yeah.

So he gets to say whatever he wants because he's not very smart.

Yeah.

Honestly, you're right.

Like, and it's just like 100%.

You can't get mad at him because he's like, like, well, I don't know.

I'm from the South.

My brain's full of rocks.

I did a lot of drugs.

It's that.

But he's like in that mothership comedy, you know, Joe Rogan and Kill Tony.

He's part of that universe.

It's funny that I don't know.

That stuff's everywhere and it's so

you think it would be hard to avoid.

Like I know when a clip comes across my screen that I'm like, hmm.

What do we think of Bobby Lee?

We haven't really.

really.

He's on just like that.

So I got to give it a break.

Oh, is he?

Yeah.

He was part of the podcast Carrie was on.

She didn't want to get filthy on the podcast.

I'm dying.

Is that right?

We watched it just like that.

Can't wait for the new episodes.

It looks so bad.

What?

Am I going to watch it?

A hundred times.

Did you watch the first two seasons?

Of course I did.

Okay.

I hate watch things always.

Yeah.

But this one looks bad.

Like the jokes, I don't know if you've seen the ads for it.

He's on the the ground going, I've fallen and I can't get up.

That is one of them.

I'm like, oh, no.

Was that after her hip break?

Might have been, yeah.

Or is this a new season?

Oh, this is the new season.

Maybe she's fallen again.

Tricky hip.

Once it breaks, you're screwed.

Well, who's she with now?

Is she back with Aiden?

With the ghost of Big.

She's back with the ghost of Big?

They promised even in the afterlife they were going to stick together.

He left her at the altar again.

As a ghost?

ghost, yeah, boy, he ghosted.

He died on his Peloton, yeah, yeah.

Do you remember that as soon as that episode aired, Peloton ran an ad being like, He's okay?

I didn't know that it was him and the founder of Peloton like having smoking a cigar.

Hi, I'm Greg Peloton.

I'm here with Mr.

Big to say he's okay.

But they killed him off because he was canceled.

Oh, yeah, probably.

I thought it was like after that episode, one or two episodes that then he was canceled.

Oh, okay.

But then maybe they knew it was coming out, that they're like, let's kill him.

Yeah, let's kill big.

They, I mean, kill Tony's one thing.

Yeah.

This is the funny thing that's happened is like, it used to be you had to have like three minutes to be on, you know,

Canada's Got Talent or like Star Search or whatever.

Now it's one.

I don't even know if it's one.

You got clips of you being like, what do you do?

You suck.

Shut up.

And someone throws like a bottle at you and they're like, oh my God.

Nobody's throwing bottles.

Well, I just, I don't know.

Do you watch this at all, Jane?

This is what I want.

So we're,

here's the joke I was thinking of a minute ago.

Good.

What if, what do we, okay.

I'm really sitting on the stage here.

I don't have a Peloton.

No.

Okay.

Now we're building it up too much.

This is like not a stand-up joke.

This is like a joke like, okay, how about what if you got a Peloton?

What?

You have to have your like account name because

I always see videos of them shouting out people.

How do you know this, though?

I get them in my algorithm.

I get a lot of people.

If you like you, you want

to be able to

Peloton riders.

No, I was talking a few episodes ago about how they have like, all right, Hugh G Rection, shout out.

Oh, no, you got me.

Like, there's the Peloton.

Oh, no, I know, because this is weird you're bringing it it up.

I'm going to go.

Alexia's away, so I'm going to her place to go do a Peloton ride.

At her place.

Yes.

Okay.

And the instructors are always shouting out.

People, it's your thousands ride.

Yeah.

And it's people who, and sometimes the people have a funny name.

Yeah.

And they try to trick the

teachers into saying them.

But I would go on.

My account name would be Mr.

Biggs Ghost.

That would be very good.

I like it.

It would be very good.

It'd be an inside, but the people who get it would really, they'd get it in a big way.

God, I'm turning into Mr.

Big.

Just want to stay in and watch old movies.

Oh, yeah.

And she was like, nope, we're not doing this.

It's the rest of our life.

We're not getting into bed every night and just watching an old movie.

She was like,

we got to make this work.

I got to go to Gala.

Did you watch it as well?

I watched some of the original.

I never watched it just like that.

Because he would be like, let's watch the gay divorcee.

And she'd be like, Samantha, send me a pun.

Send me a pun to say about it.

You're going to be a gay divorcee if you're not

quick.

It was at the last season and movie that like Samantha wasn't a part of.

And then they would do it.

Like, she texted it.

It was so.

I was on the new series.

Because Samantha was on Sex in the City 2.

Yeah.

I'm just,

I did not know this about you.

It's, it's strange.

Yeah, I have to.

I've seen both the movies.

The movie's.

Why are you watching it?

Because

I have nothing better to do.

yeah and the whole movie i think we've discussed the pack the entire movie was centered around one pun

which was aaron gobralis yes yeah there was an irish she was an irish babysitter yeah and she played by alice eve the voluptuous alice eve and she's wearing no bra and then she's also irish so this the first movie no this is the second movie the one that happened well the second movie is also based on the fact that what if we had a single ladies dance

when did they go to Morocco?

It was Dubai or Abu Dhabi or something.

Yeah.

But it was the second one.

Sorry.

Okay.

You guys are killing me.

I feel like I'm 95.

Your memory is like, it's like you have notes.

Oh, my God.

The first movie was The Wedding.

And Big didn't show up to.

And then in the second one, it's.

And the Redhead had a big muff in Mexico.

Which I get.

Okay.

The redhead.

The redhead.

I don't know her name.

Oh, Jane.

you're such a the redhead.

What's your name?

Miranda.

Thank you.

Boring.

Continue.

Sorry to our Miranda listeners.

Now, I.

What's an exciting name, Jane?

Don't.

Shockwave.

Yeah, why isn't her name Shockwave?

Yeah.

So you've been on the show many, many times.

I don't know how many total, but 452.

452.

That's right.

Yes.

You were on

episode three.

Episode seven.

They really were pushing out.

Oh, no, we're also...

Episode.

I love that.

That we were like, well, we've run through all the comedians in town.

But you guys won, though.

That's the difference.

It was a different time back then.

Well, no.

It was, though.

But

this is your 13th time.

Ooh, lucky.

Yeah, lucky.

Or unlucky.

What have you been up to?

What have I been up to?

We had you here about a year ago.

Yes.

What's been going on for Jane Stanton since then?

Just doing shows, doing my producing shows and whatnot, doing the Queens of Comedy, and then doing

this month, June, Everyone's Gay.

Okay.

And with Toddy Headlining and Steve Letts.

Is that a pride show thing?

No, it's just

everyone's gay.

Just a thing I say.

I was going to say it's me like bitching about it.

Like a person that doesn't

get it.

Like

previous mayor Rob Ford seemed to avoid the Pride Parade every year.

Yes.

And just producing my shows as well, like Swift Ride and Secrets.

And I like secrets.

And this is your full-time thing is producing shows now.

Yes.

And a dog mom.

Yep.

You're a dog dog mom.

Stay-at-home dog mom.

Stay at home.

I met Baby Bjorn.

Would you?

Is your dog small enough to take it?

No, she's 15 pounds, but leggy.

So she comes off like a 25-pounder.

What kind of dog are we talking about?

I don't know.

Like a Parson Terrier

mixed with like an Australian blue healer.

Oh, gosh.

That's a lot of energy.

I know.

That's why I drug her.

Anxiety.

That's what she has.

So, anyways.

Does she have anxiety or does she just not have a ranch?

To just round herself down?

Yeah, yeah.

Probably that.

Yeah.

You should put her on the Pelotons.

Yeah, that goes.

You were going to say you should put her on the pill.

She uses my

IUD sometimes.

They're really expensive.

And don't they have to be implanted?

Yeah.

It's like she uses it

if it's lying around the apartment.

I saw her chewing on it.

I was like, no.

And trying to go on stupid.

Are I going periodically on dates?

Yeah.

Now, when I was last on dating apps, it was Tinder was the only game in town.

I don't know.

Since then,

how many are there?

I thought you were going to say, since then, Jane, how many are you on?

I'm on Tinder.

I forget about it, and then they'll come in real hot, like, Hey, are you there?

It'll be like a week, and I'm like, Oh, sorry, just I don't have notification.

Yeah, sure, what's wrong with you?

I'm like, Bye,

you're like, Well, let's go down a date and see, oh, that's a that's a person.

Oh, yeah, that's not the app saying, Hey, are you still here

like Netflix used to do?

You still watching?

I wish that.

Are you still here?

Yeah, do you still want to pretend that we're going to go on a date and we like each other?

Uh, I've gone, yeah, I go down the block, I used to go around.

Stop.

I used to go.

I live in Carrisdale.

There's a wine bar at the end of my street.

I used to venture out to like Mount Pleasant, all of that.

And then I'm like, I don't want to run into people I know on a fucking date at all.

I go there.

It's like everyone's undercover.

The waitress pretends like she doesn't know me.

She'll be like, hi.

But she knows this is maybe a second date in the night.

I know.

It's great.

It's great.

And then if I have a couple of drinks, walk home.

Yeah.

If I have a neighbor or a guy coming back with me, who knows?

Who can say?

That's so cool.

I wish I was on the data caps.

Oh, you'd kill.

I'm on Peloton.

Do you use that?

You're just like talking the whole time on the Peloton.

You're not even riding.

They can't see you.

You're like, hey, what's everyone doing tonight?

Yeah.

Hey, where do you guys see yourselves in five years?

You've, how long have you been with Abby?

2000.

What?

Yeah, Dave didn't even get to the Tinder phase.

Yeah, more than half my life.

I'm like, at the same time, it's like, beautiful.

And then I went, I hate you.

So you have no idea how horrible it is.

No, I.

I love you.

We're going to say yes.

I'm like, no, I hear about it, but I don't feel it.

Same as me.

I hear, oh, kids are hard, but I don't know.

Oh, my God.

Are we freaky Fridaying?

Oh, shit.

The terrible twos.

I get it.

My dogs too as well.

No, like,

yeah, that'd be cool if we switched bodies and you had to raise my kids and I had to date guys.

I just start smoking.

I'm like, get in here.

He never smokes.

I don't smoke now either.

You smoked back in the day, didn't you?

I just literally told the story about you when I was smoking.

I didn't smoke when I first started stand-up.

And then for whatever reason,

Year one or year two, I started smoking again, but I was just bumming cigarettes off people in my head.

Well, you're not a real smoker, not a real smoker,

and then, but then I became that annoying person that I hated in high school.

I was like, Hey, can I, can I just have a cigarette?

And I realized that deep into my addiction.

Yeah, um, and I was smoking outside at Urban Well,

and uh, I

borrowed that too.

You're not boring it off, yeah, give it back when you're

a cigarette.

Here's the gross smelling thing.

Uh, Jeffrey, you, you're welcome to that.

You came out and you're like, I didn't know you smoked.

I'm like, yeah, you're like,

you, yeah, you, you don't look, you, you think you look cool?

I'm like, what?

You're like, do you think you look cool?

I'm like, I do.

You're like, you don't.

I'm like, what?

Graham said this?

Yes.

And I looked in and I was like,

fuck.

That was me trying to get you to quit.

Smoking.

It was a little bit of that.

Sprinkle that.

And then it was also

men with their, you know, lines and whatnot.

Ooh, character.

Female who smokes for years.

You're like, oh, what the fuck happened to her?

I wish you were.

That's such a double standard.

I hate that.

Yeah.

Ladies, smoke them if you got them.

I want to get, I want this is somebody.

I want you to look 80 when you're 42.

Yeah.

On the way over here,

at the coffee shop, there was a couple that was very much on a first date because they were kind of going on at

noon?

Yeah, well, I mean, you can go to a coffee shop.

I don't know when.

On a coffee date.

Yeah.

That's the best thing you could do.

You can step out.

You're on all the apps.

Are you on?

It's just lunch?

I want to.

But first date, we're not.

Jane's not eating in front of you.

I eat like a cookie monster.

I know, like, you can't go for tacos for

chicken wings?

Nope.

That would be such a funny first date.

Hey, Jane, do you want to come for a first date at the Corn Festival?

No, no, no.

i'm not eating anything sloppy in front of a first date

yeah chili cook-off you're literally saying the worst things you could eat not just on a first date the aftermath

jane it's rib fest

yeah

what is has been uh like

the absolute worst date of from the apps like uh specifically that somebody that you met and went on a date with that you were like, this was such a mistake.

Did you ever go find out a date of yours turned out to be a murderer?

Don't do this to me.

Ever, Dave.

I literally do get scared of that.

So I

can I tell you, okay, so there's two.

There's one I didn't meet.

We talked on the phone.

We were supposed to meet the next day.

He was British.

Accents kill me.

Sure.

And

do you want to go for some fish and chew, Jerry?

I'm like, oh, I gotta go to the washroom.

Stop this.

Pother me while I get in the lift.

I'm terribly chuffed just to be dating girls.

Let's have some aubergines together.

Yeah, well, maybe some aubergine and courgette.

Turn into papa.

I know what just happened.

So we had been messaging.

It was probably I anyways, he was here for two weeks.

We talked on the phone for like an hour.

This is long distance for me, Jay.

01144.

And the phone rang weird, too.

That was the thing.

Oh, no.

And then the next day,

we were going to go for coffee or brunch, something.

I prefer tea.

Maybe a full English breakfast.

We were going for a high tea.

No, we weren't.

I love that you bought what I just said.

High tea.

And then.

You know, it's so funny in your little country.

You drink a high C.

Maybe I like it because I don't know.

My mom still has a bit of a British accent.

Sure.

Anyways, and then

he was like, hey, are you a morning person?

I'm like, no, absolutely.

No, I'm not.

Yeah.

I wake up to, he sends me a picture, which I think is just him.

It's a picture of

him on the bed.

holding his ankles.

It's of his butthole.

Dave, this is my favorite thing right now.

Just going, just messages.

Thank you, Abby.

Holding it and then peeking up so I can see that it's his eyes.

And then I just went, I screamed.

But it wasn't, I never said,

can you send me a picture of your bottle?

I would have rather.

Here's the test to see if she's my soulmate.

And picturing that guy who's like.

He did happy baby.

He was happy baby holding his feet.

But it's also how many times did it take him to take that picture?

Oh, sure.

Yeah.

Or did he.

Does he have a room, mate?

I didn't even think of that.

Someone went away with.

I'm also like, conversation was great.

Sure.

10 out of 10.

I do not like it.

Never didn't straighten.

She don't know what to do, mate.

Everything was going well.

And then it's like, my mojo going.

She got me freaky.

And then that, too, is like coffee.

I'm like, just went radio silence.

Ghosty before ghosting.

And I was like, yeah, no.

And he's like, what?

And I went, are you.

Coffee?

You know I can't drink that.

You've seen my butthole.

What?

I'm picturing the eyes peeking out from a body.

It was that with glasses.

I'm reminding

you.

Take off your glasses.

But I'm picturing, what was that like.

Famous graffiti that's like someone was here and it's oh, yeah, like over the fence.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know that you recognize it.

It's like a really simple graffiti of like a guy with a nose.

Oh.

Yeah.

Also, you mean like Kilroy.

Kilroy.

I was going to say like Tim Allen's the neighbor that would famous.

Speaking of comedy.

This is what I'm picturing.

Oh, God.

Thank you so much.

That's like the best, worst experience you could ever have.

And then he kept texting.

He's like, you seem so great.

I'm like, you blew it.

Yeah.

You blew it.

I don't know.

What else could I have done?

Not sent it.

Second one was I met at the wine bar and then the guy was like, what do you want to drink?

We'll drink like pushing.

I was like, oh, like, I'll get a glass of wine or something.

He's like, yeah, you should have it.

I was like,

three or four.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And then he's like, was drinking, not that it's whatever, pop.

And he's like, yeah,

I don't drink.

And i'm like okay and then he started ordering because i had gone on a couple that like they don't drink whatever to each his own sure i like sneak in alcohol

yeah

but do the one that tastes like the strongest i'm like he's like is that whiskey i'm like no

um and then he's like oh wine and then i went to the washroom came back and he was having a sip of my wine which like i was like what are you doing and he's like oh it just looked good i'm like i thought you didn't drink and then i'm like why am i carrying what you like?

I don't know you.

And then I felt bad.

But then he's like, oh, let's get a bottle.

And I was like, well, it's free.

Okay.

He's already ruined his like sobriety.

Yeah.

Well, he, yeah.

And then I also looked to that.

I'm like, I think he like gulped my wine when I was in the washroom.

And that had a gulp in front of him.

Was he sober?

Oh, he was, yeah, he didn't drink.

He was having a Coke that he had a sip of.

Some people don't drink and they don't have a problem.

No, he literally said like, I don't drink.

And I went, well, not anymore.

Now you do.

That's like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm or something like that.

Taking a chug of your

and you're walking back.

That I was like, what?

What are you?

I thought you would be in the bathroom longer.

I was hoping you had diarrhea.

Yeah.

You're the ones that keep bringing back the poop talk.

FYI.

That's true.

You're not bringing it up.

We're bringing it up.

Yeah, it really is you guys.

Have you guys heard of the viral drink of the summer?

No.

Oh, no.

What is it?

It's white wine with jalapeno in it.

Just cut up.

Too spicy, spicy, winy.

Spicy.

Would you try it?

Fucking with me?

Fucking with me, Dave?

Dave, why would you fuck with me?

That sounds like the dumbest drink of the world.

I don't know.

It's like a spicy margarita.

TikTok

should be blown up.

The one thing.

When are you on TikTok?

One thing I can agree with.

Trump.

Get rid of TikTok.

You heard it from me.

I literally, my niece, I love her, but like, she'll be like, oh, I'm going to do this for the wedding.

This, I'm like, did you see it on TikTok?

Like, that's your identity now of people of like, I'm going to do this.

I'm like, no, but what do you want?

What were the things before,

like for weddings, when I got married, it was very much the Pinterest time.

What were weddings like before social media?

People came in a wagon and

some people wore toilet paper dresses.

Who knows?

Didn't like, didn't it used to be you would cut pictures and stuff out of bridal magazines?

Yeah.

You think we're doing dream boards?

Or you were.

Admit that you were.

In my bedroom.

You think that's what we're doing?

Yeah.

What else was say?

No.

You'd go to a wedding and you'd be like, oh, that looks, this was great.

This sucks.

Oh, her hair is so big.

I want big hair.

I want bigger.

Yeah.

It's like the charcuterie board that's like out of control right now.

Apple's just sent me a friend of mine of like, hey, Jane, when did we do this?

For all my parties, we'd have that with the meat paper, you know?

Yeah, sure.

And now that's what everyone is doing now.

But they write it down, cheese.

I'm like, no, they know it's cheese.

That's TikTok.

Oh, they put like what, like a little chalk.

Yeah, you write down what you're eating.

This is cheese.

I'm like, okay.

Meat.

I wouldn't like.

What could you confuse cheese for?

Tofu, maybe?

What?

If you have to label that something's cheese, what else could have been a butter?

That's what I'm saying.

It was saying for sure, like it's named.

And then people are doing like a $500 charcuterie board for like 20 people.

It's the

what do you think about Subway's foot-long nacho?

Yeah.

What the fuck are you talking about right now?

Yeah, it's.

I love that I went, I hate, but intrigued.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a foot-long, you know how they have that foot-long tray.

Have you seen the foot-long cookie?

No, you're celiac.

Come on, Dave.

You have to get your head in the glass.

It's literally

gluten-free bread.

Yeah, they're packaged.

Yeah.

I had it.

It was awful.

I know.

I was excited.

Yeah.

But I never liked Subway.

Wow.

That's

where we part way.

But then it's like a foot-long tray, and they fill it with Doritos.

Are you showing me that?

I didn't even know that it was Doritos.

If it's Doritos, I will have it and shit myself.

And then it's just like.

Shut up.

She loves it.

And then just whatever.

The toppings are whatever.

Well, Subway, you're doing it right.

Yeah, yeah.

And then Subway cheese.

I thought what they should have been doing is putting that on the sandwich.

Putting Doritos on the sandwich.

Zesty Doritos, the orange ones.

I don't know why.

A short shape.

With the cheese sauce.

Some jalapenos on that.

Is it cheese sauce or is it just the cheese slices melted?

Oh, God.

Or they have, don't they have shredded that they sometimes put on something?

It's been a while since I've been at Subway.

because that gluten-free bun sucks.

It sucked.

Yeah.

It's one of those ones you take a bite, you're like, ah, you have to get it toasted.

That's what I did too.

But I took it, it was like old school.

It felt like it was 10 years ago.

It just like fell apart.

I was like, I'm just holding salami now.

Like, yeah.

I could have just gotten it.

It was a dandelion

gone.

You're like, fuck.

Anyway, we salute Subway.

We love

Jared.

Jared, yo, Jared, we're we're keeping the home fires burning.

Why?

Huh?

Why?

Well, yeah, what are you talking about?

Well, this is a throwback episode to 900 weeks ago.

We don't know anything about him yet.

That's right.

Good vibes, the Folkmeister.

His pants.

I was just thinking about his pants not that long ago.

Where did those pants end up?

Because they were in some museum somewhere for a while.

Like before his fat pants?

Yeah.

Yeah, his fat pants.

Am I lunches hood?

He's in jail.

He He won't hear this.

Oh, imagine you could get podcast to jail.

Maybe you can.

I'm pretty sure they bring in sneak in everything.

I love you.

They sneak a podcast in their ass.

They're hooping up.

The equipment.

They're doing one in there.

Is he still in jail?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

I think for the foreseeable future.

You said that.

Like, is he right behind me?

Is this a surprise guest?

Oh, yeah.

See him on a dating app.

That would be hilarious.

Oh, it's wipe, right, for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're like, this guy knows what we're going to eat for the day.

We're going to do a whole bunch of steps to see the city.

We're going to go for a walk.

We're going to have a sandwich.

Yeah.

And then we're going to wear glasses.

Did he eat a sandwich, a foot-long sandwich?

I swear that's all he ate.

That is what.

Yeah.

It's the same but different of the McDonald's documentary where he gave his head away.

But he was like, I'm going to lose one.

Well, because he also started at like, I don't know, 500 pounds.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And the guy.

and the guy from the mcdonald's one has well he's died since oh that's right yeah morgan spurlock

died a couple years ago but it also came out that he was like an alcoholic yeah so like there were other reasons he he was not doing well you feel better for eating the mcdonald's well you can't eat

anymore well the french fries are gluten-free are they yeah so you but they're not potatoes no what are they i don't know

but they're so good yeah they are really good they really are

Oh, my God.

You guys are looking at me like I

twist my arm.

Yeah, so we love McDonald's fries here.

Yeah.

I like the A ⁇ W, to be honest.

Don't you shame me.

Do you still have them?

Do I still have them?

Are the fries not gluten-free?

100%.

Oh, really?

Really?

On the outside?

Flour.

That does explain.

Yeah.

Now that you mention it.

You're like, does explain why I get get sick every time.

Wendy's fries, I think they have like a

little crust to them too, because I think it's

because I think it's because.

Shut up.

I had stopped myself.

So many people just order things on the apps, not the dating apps.

Oh, I do.

Just swaping through looking for Wendy's.

But like for delivery, it's bring me some fries.

The fries hold up better for delivery.

Oh, yeah, they would.

But like, just,

I mean, mean,

I've never ordered fast food

like through a

delivery app.

I thought you were trying to say ever.

I was like, shut the fuck up.

No, no,

I eat it.

Oh, I like it.

Yeah.

But I just, but like, I'll eat it in my car.

I don't even think

shamefully in your car.

I won't even before you get home.

Yes.

And on my drive home, I'm like just steering with my knees.

Go, just burger so messy.

But it's hard to dip my fries, but I can do it.

I can do it if I foot.

But like the food that gets delivered like a fast food through door dash like it can't be good no i don't i think i did door dash once and i up and it cost me so much money i ordered a steak dumbest thing i had a gift certificate and then it i thought it didn't go through and then i did it again i've done that i did that exact same thing and then i was like hey can you return nope you can't get the money back it's in silicon valley yeah yeah this exact thing was i was like never again i also would be a fucking whale if i door dash i just i'm like nope nope too easy too easy door dash i've done i did nando's once oh

is this what people are door dashing and it was so steamy like it came in a good way or just lime no and just sort of like yeah everything ended up quite wet because of the steaminess of yeah

i think the one that travels like just historically travels the best is kentucky fried chicken because you would never eat in right people eat yeah you're right back in the day although yeah when i used to live near a kfc it people would not like people would eat it there because or within a two block radius and then you had to that then they just throw the buckets there were like toony tuesdays and yeah the next day i would not be able to walk my dog near it because

you're gonna say you weren't able to walk

chicken bones all over the ground oh that was like a treat that my family had when i was younger

we had it once a year

We're like, once a year.

I know.

Yeah.

Like, honestly, I don't think it was on, it wasn't a heavy rotation.

McDonald's, you get, you grab McDonald's anytime.

My dad, no, my dad had McDonald's once.

I wish I had his wheelpower.

He had a bite of a quarter pounder.

It was cold.

Went up.

It's cold.

They didn't care because this was 1922.

And he threw it in the garbage, never went back.

For a wow, after one bite.

Yeah.

One cold bite.

Yeah.

It's urban legend has it that uh Robbie Robert Downey Jr.

was eating a whopper and then was like, What am I doing with my life?

And then checked himself into rehab the next day because he was just like sitting on a stoop eating.

It was a whopper, not him in a baby crib and breaking it into someone's house.

No, it was the whopper.

The whopper in this, yeah, okay.

Something that has to do with it, you know.

What's your favorite burger?

You're back in the day, I guess, Graham,

of like fast food.

A ⁇ W.

Graham likes the burger.

Do you like the baby burger?

No, he likes the impossible.

Yeah, the beyond.

It's good.

Okay, I got on board that, but it's very salty.

I think I, back in the day, hamburger for McDonald's when I was a kid.

Okay.

That was number one.

Like Big Mac cheeseburger?

No.

Just hamburger, straight up.

Just like the lowest of the low.

Do you know anyone whose favorite is the filet of fish?

Yep.

Two people.

Really?

Yeah.

Two people.

I know people.

I know one person.

He's.

He's not quite right.

It's like a goalie in a soccer team.

You're great, but you're a little bit off.

Yeah, he's kind of off.

He's sort of like the president of the United States.

Joke.

He loves the...

He calls it the fish delight.

The fish.

Yeah, and he also reportedly puts ketchup on steak.

This is the guy.

This is the guy you vote for.

Although he was right about that one thing about TikTok.

Yeah.

Quote Jane on it.

Trump was right.

Trump was right.

Theo Vaughn is a great baby talking, AI generating guy.

It's not that you guys asked, the filet fish.

My mom.

Oh, really?

She loves it.

My dad's staying at home.

No, I will not have it.

We used to go.

I'm also British.

We used to go half.

I had half Wednesdays in elementary school, so half the day.

Yeah.

And that was the treat my mom would take.

We would go.

What?

It's McDonald's.

Half day all of elementary school?

Yeah.

Every two weeks.

I don't know.

Like, well, from grade one on, I would go home and have lunch.

Like,

I was like a businesswoman casual.

Yeah.

I was so jealous.

So jealous of those kids.

Yeah.

I lived in junior high.

I lived close enough to go home.

I was right beside the school.

Literally.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was the best.

Once high school hit.

I don't think my mom.

7-Eleven.

Yeah.

I don't think my mom liked it though, because a couple times she came over and she's like, why are there kids here?

Like, we're just ransacking.

There's 20 of us.

We're just like,

Yeah, um, and apples hung over.

She'll eat a filet fish.

Apples is a person.

No, it's just an apple.

Just for the listener who don't know.

My crypto is the chicken burger from McDonald's, or the one that I love,

Burger King Belong.

I love it.

Oh, the long chicken?

With like

pepper on it.

Just the regular?

Don't they do like an Italian?

No, it's no, that's not a parmesan, but it's great.

Just the straight-up classic.

I don't know why I love it.

I like

to have it.

I mean, if we're going upper echelon of fast food.

What is the upper echelon?

Well, there's like five guys.

Oh, yeah.

Those burgers in and out.

They put them in a Shake Shack.

Yeah.

I'll do that one.

But just the standard Wendy's, the Wendy's, Dave's Classic Double.

It's because the name.

Because

I love to see myself representation.

Representation matters.

You're like, I'll get the Dave.

That's my name, Dave.

You just keep throwing it.

The meat classic double.

And then they had this one that was a chicken burger.

They probably still have it.

It was with beef as well.

Continue.

Two of every animal.

Yeah, they had a chicken fish beef burger.

Yes, please.

That's the traduction of burgers.

It was a chicken burger with

like ranch bacon and some kind of white cheese.

What was it?

Like asiago.

Sure.

And it was like, you're giving me a look.

At where, Wendy's, there's no Asiago there.

I'm

just going to prove you wrong.

All right.

Well, I hope so.

Wendy's Asiago.

Was it you said it was a chicken burger?

Yeah.

Asiago chicken, ranch, and bacon.

Well, it sounds classy.

It does.

It's upscale.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is shredded.

Oh, that.

Come on.

I haven't had that in a few years, but it's pretty.

You could get it spicy, grilled, or classic.

I would always get the classic.

That's what I hope I I see when I look up at the northern lights.

I hope I see that.

I thought you were going to say when you die.

Yeah, that's the last thing I see before I die.

That's pretty.

It is pretty.

You gotta admit.

Right, guys?

Breathtaking.

Oh, my God.

Dave, what's going on with you?

Well, before I, I have another joke I want to tell you.

Okay.

I don't really.

But Jane was talking about how the apps.

like or people in the apps like are too thirsty and like if you don't reply hey haven't heard from you what's up Yeah, um, have you ever gone to a website of a store and just like looked at a product, and then within an hour, they're emailing you, hey, you still interested in this product?

Yeah, I've had it, and I've also had things that I've just paused on that I haven't clicked.

All of a sudden, becomes like every day I get the thing, like, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah, hey, you want to move into an old photo?

I'm like, not yet.

I mean, I do.

I mean, you practically live in one year in Karistan.

I do.

Well, each time they die, young people come in, so it is good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you

ever go to that Carrisdale McDonald's?

Yeah, it's the worst.

Yeah?

It is the worst.

They don't know what's going on.

You could wait.

Yeah, that's true.

They take forever.

And I always say, no salt on the fries.

So they're nice and warm.

I love the idea that they don't know what's going on.

What do we do?

Where do we work?

That is what it is.

There's always a huge lineup.

It's like I go there every day.

The drive-through's a disaster.

It is.

It's like there's a lineup in that, like it's stupid.

Oh, yeah.

And there's people like the, there's, it's unclear how you get in the drive-thru.

People are

there's two high schools right by there too.

You have Point Gray and then the other one on 42.

Like there's, it's, and that's, they'll get so shit face the kids and they'll be outside just like.

And this is at noon.

Um, it's just, yeah, mayhem.

What about the one that's, uh, I don't know if you've ever taken the bus out to the ferry, but there's one that has like a stained glass.

It looks like, yeah, it looks like a church.

In North Van or

Tawasan?

On the way to Tawasan, there's a stop that has this.

I feel like it looks like a church.

And somebody on the bus I was with was like, it's not a church.

I'm like, yeah, because

it's got M on it.

It might be the only one like it.

Is it this?

This is from a Reddit post.

The McDonald's near my house has a really cool stained glass.

It could have been Wass Wanawan.

that's where I'm getting married because of the stained glass.

There's a lot of really cool stained glass McDonald's stuff, actually, if you Google it.

Yeah.

I wanted to get one of those Pizza Hut lamps.

The world's most beautiful McDonald's.

Do you remember that Pizza Hut back in the day was like Monday or Tuesday.

It was all you could eat.

Do you guys remember that?

Yeah, I'll go to the

Darcy worked at one, right?

Is that what you talked about last time?

Yeah, yeah.

He used to work at a Pizza Hut.

In North Van.

Yeah.

Like, we literally realized after when we became friends that we knew each other.

Like

you did a pizza hut.

You had it all you can eat.

I'd go there every week

again.

No, we were on the same swim team in different like it was weird.

Yes.

Were you

West Van or North Van?

North Van.

Cool.

But yeah.

Nice.

I wish

where can you get all you can eat anything now, guys?

Oh, huh.

Whatever it is is not.

It's good.

Well, it's good, but it's bread.

Like they're trying to fill you up really there is an all you can eat i think it's tuesday or monday taco place in vancouver yeah yeah i wonder how many i can eat i was thinking that and i'd like to do it i think i would probably tap out at five would be my but the really small ones you could do more like the tiny tiny tiny tiny ones yeah let's do like if it's the tiny tiny ones how many still be under 10 i think i could probably do nine there's uh according to this post there's um uh

some indian ones there are some oh yeah yeah there's a pretty good one.

Some hot pot places are all you can eat.

Rio Brazilian steakhouse.

Ooh, as many steaks as you like.

And of course, Uncle Willie's.

Uncle Willie's.

What are they?

The burgers?

Is it pierogi's?

No, Uncle Willie's is like.

I thought there was peony.

No, it's like there's one by Metro Town.

It's like classic salad bar.

All you can eat.

Like bonanza?

I remember a bonanza.

You remember bonanza?

Don't look at me.

Do you, Dave, though?

No.

There was one in North Van.

We would take the bus.

And I had a salad bar.

You get a fucking burger with fries.

Classic, like, good, shitty one.

Salad bar, and then just ice cream.

And, oh, God.

Yeah,

I went to Bonanza when I was a kid.

They had it in Calgary.

Did you love it?

I loved all of it.

Anytime we were eating outside of the house.

It was the best.

It was the best.

It was like once a year.

Growing up in Vancouver, I had very little occasion to go to North Van or any suburb.

I get it, but you were she-she.

Because I was she-she.

The only times I went to the suburbs were like...

You told your parents, oh, I went to Bonanza, you are grounded.

If we had like

a soccer or a hockey game.

And those kids were gross.

And the kids,

we would go lose in a different suburb.

Because,

you know, not good.

I remember when I was a kid, sometimes another school would want to beat up people from your school, but they have to meet in some kind of, like, you couldn't go to the school that wasn't immediately.

Let's get drunk immediately that Carris Dale McDonald.

Yeah

But I remember having to meet like at a central field or something like that in order and then you know there was a lot of people said they were gonna show up didn't show up but what movie we just watched a movie that was shot at the

is it point gray right next to it so much yeah was it for with your kids yeah it was oh i remember it was to all the girls i've loved before 100 have i watched all the boys i've loved before sorry did you what have i watched it yes i'm deep into teenage rom-com.

Yeah.

And she looks down her nose on just like that.

Well, geez.

Although, you know what?

The dad from To All the Boys I Loved Before, it's Aiden from Sex House.

I love him from back in the day.

What was it?

What was he in?

Northern New York.

Northern Exposure.

Northern Exposure, right?

He's in the new one.

Wow.

Just like that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

My niece was there.

She has no idea who.

I'm like, he's on it.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

It was like I was orgasming in front of her.

Yeah.

I'm so excited.

What's Auntie James doing?

And yet, when I do that in front of my nieces, I'm not welcome at Christmas anymore.

All of our childhood heroes are parents on TV shows.

Oh, my God.

That's just the natural thing.

Alicia Silverstone is on the Babysitters Club.

I remember Luke Perry made an appearance on Riverdale.

Riverdale, that's right.

He was one of the.

He was on it for a bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He was like Jughead Dad?

Something like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Skeet skeet ulric was on there as well oh yeah skeet ulric yeah

that show rocked it did and you know i watched probably three episodes and then of 21 of no the i did 21 jump riverdale okay okay i did 21 drum stream you really did quite a jump because he was supposed to skeet was like supposed to be the next johnny dapp back in the day yeah and then just

um so here's

how dare you here's a couple things going on with me go one i had a boring dream.

Oh, yes, this is my favorite.

So I famously have very boring dreams.

Okay.

I had a, so I like a fame, my most famous boring dream is I had kind of like a,

it was a crisis.

In my dream, I was like, what am I going to do?

And the dream was that my travel agent was retiring.

It still makes me laugh every time I hear it.

It's also the funniest thing in the world because I'm like, they still exist.

For what reason?

Oh, well, they know how to consolidate your points.

They can get things done.

I do have one in real life.

Do you?

Yeah.

What?

Lily.

Oh, shit.

When you woke up, were you feeling anxious or were you just like bored?

Well, when I woke up, I was relieved.

I was like, okay, there's no way Lily's really retiring.

So, yeah, another one he had was you and your friends were gathered around trying to fix a garage door.

Yeah, it wasn't my friends.

It was just some men.

That sounds about right.

It was not friends whatsoever.

I don't think so.

But that part's the best.

Yeah.

And then the one I had the other day was: I had a dream that a song that I was written, the song that I had written, was featured in a Wes Anderson movie.

No, that's pretty good.

That sounds pretty boring.

Well, here's the thing.

The plot of the dream was that's a thing that had happened, but I wasn't getting any

royalties for it because I hadn't filled out the paperwork.

So I had to fill fill out all this paperwork.

I

didn't realize that I feel like I'm a dream expert.

These dreams are all like anxiety underneath.

Sure.

Like that would be like, that's not boring.

That's like,

it is, but it's like,

I agree that these are things that.

If you had a song and with Enner, come on.

But it's the filling out the paperwork.

I know.

That's anxiety.

Because it was like, it's not too late to get royalties for this.

Even the old ones.

All you have to do is fill this out.

I'll fill it out later.

That's the problem.

That's right.

Yeah.

Filling out forms.

Weak point.

Odie Doten.

Doting Day.

Do you remember dreams?

Dreams?

Yeah.

I mean, sometimes.

The weird thing that I have is recurring locations.

There's the same house that I'm in all the time.

There's a

store that I'm frequenting.

There's a street that it's, but it's all the same.

Every dream it's like.

I'm dying that it just seems like it's you walking around

what I see you're just like grocery shopping.

That's your dream like you're just dreaming like your mundane stuff you do between other stuff you oh got it but do you ever have that where you like have the same I never have the same location.

Oh, I do have one dream that I'm in.

I think I'm in Jane's house because I know it's hers because there's no door on the bedroom.

Yes.

Oh my god.

The classic Stanton.

Callback of my parents punishing me.

Taking your door off.

Blinds as well.

You're forgetting that aspect.

Blinds.

Wow.

Like, you would get in trouble with blinds?

Because I kept changing.

There was a crowd outside.

No.

I think they did that first.

They read it.

It was a book that they were like, take the blinds off.

That sucks.

And then

the door.

But yeah.

This is why I don't read books.

That's why I don't read good.

So that was one thing.

The other thing that's going on is, have you seen the new Final Destination movie?

No, but I can't wait.

It is blowing up.

It is blowing up.

And there's one thing.

Are you in it?

No.

Well,

I would have loved it.

You're so first.

It's not murders, right?

It's like deaths.

Yeah, it's like, you know, crazy.

In the ads, it seems like mishaps.

Yeah, the whole movie, the whole series is like things that Sam Easton was.

I was just going to say it.

Why cheddar?

You're welcome.

So apparently, according to this post on Reddit, there is a...

Someone's got like a board where they're trying to like figure out the

I thought you meant on Reddit.

I'm like, like fucking just watch the movie you idiot

but there's a uh like this is the board and they've got all these things connected okay yeah seven the movie continue yeah it's um

uh and some of the names you won't i don't know if you'll be able to see it from this picture it's pretty low res but someone went and wrote down all the names that are oh i love that And here are two of the names on the list.

Graham Shumka.

And Dave Clark.

And Alicia Shumka.

And Alicia Shumka.

It's my dream coming true.

We're on this same house we are always in.

Siblings.

You're sibling.

You're my siblings.

Oh, that's so good.

By the way, this was posted on Reddit by an account named Come Inspector2.

It's hard when you started accruing, you know, Reddit points.

Okay, I literally was like, oh my God, Graham's going to die before this episode gets out.

Because it foresees, like, that's the whole point of the movie, right?

Like,

don't you see the future or something like that?

And then everyone dies.

Usually one person can see the future.

And then they are the one that hips everybody to.

You know, and it's all things like that.

Like, a board will fall down.

Well, it's the roller coaster.

So this is apparently Alicia Shumka, and this is apparently Graham Shumka.

You can barely make it out, but I can tell it's these two.

That's so funny.

Weird.

Weird, weird, weird.

So, someone, maybe someone involved with the movie listens, maybe the art department.

Art department, yeah.

I don't think, I don't think we're actual characters, or Graham.

I don't think Graham Shumka appears.

But, you know,

what you're telling me is you haven't seen all the Final Destination movies.

I'll tell you how many I've seen.

It rhymes with Zero.

Hero.

Okay.

Yeah.

I've seen Hero of them.

Oh, you guys ever get a nice little giro?

Oh, the best.

Giro, gyro, giro, giro.

Yeah, I've seen all of them, and I plan to go see it.

Because I've never seen one of them in the theater, and I bet you they're a lot.

You got to do it in the theater.

Definitely wait like three or four weeks so it's not full of people having fun.

I just don't understand.

How is it blowing up?

Isn't this like, I don't know, 15?

It's been a slow month.

It's sixth.

Oh, the sixth one, and apparently there was like a big break after the fifth one.

Yeah.

Like they had tied up the series looped on itself, and

that was the end of it.

Nope, not at all.

Did you ever audition for any of those?

I wish I had.

Yeah.

Die in a tanning bed.

That was one of them.

That would be, I used to go in tanning beds when I was younger because I was an idiot.

What for when?

How younger?

A year ago.

Would you smoke in them?

Yeah.

I'd smoke.

Do you think this looks cool, Jane, being in this UV bed?

Brayton, how'd you get in here?

Who let you in Fabu Tan?

My favorite with a daddy plays is no matter what, you're going to have a dude in there working that's crazy, just leather face.

Yeah.

Hey, how's it going?

Leatherface.

He used to be on the radio.

Texas James.

And he smokes for sure.

And he maybe could have been on the radio.

Do you remember Tan Mom?

No.

Oh, yes.

What?

She was a person, not a place.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, Tan Mom sounds like

a tanning bed just for moms.

No.

Tan mom was a woman who, I guess, was criticized online for

putting her, like, six-year-old in a tanning bed.

And the woman herself was, like, a white lady with the brownest skin.

Yeah, just like.

And, like, the sort of like white butthole lips.

She bleached them.

And she, and then she put up a, she, like, put out a song that was like, I'm the tan mom.

I just almost messed my drink.

Well, the kid part, I'm still like, did she tan mom?

Doopy doo-doo-doo-doo.

I love that she bought her own tanning bed.

Patricia Crinza.

Oh my god, this is amazing.

There we go.

Oh, my God.

Well, how old was she there?

22?

She looks okay.

See the white lips.

Yeah.

Yeah, wow.

But she looks okay now if that doesn't work.

Hey, that's a lot.

oh where's the kid that's what i wanted that is the kid was it

this is my daughter because that was the thing right like that's why she's tan mom that's why we learned of her because her child was

this is probably

and how long ago was this 20 years this is my favorite of back then but it would still happen now where someone's like i'm gonna let people know uh i put my kid this was like i'm gonna blow up i'm gonna be popular everyone's like what the are you doing it was before

the internet well it was early internet it was before social media so it was like uh you would see a clip of this like inside edition story of this mom yeah and everybody knew it but she thought it'd be okay

she thought that putting her kid in tanning bed yeah yeah yeah she was uh not not well in the head she fried her own brain on tanning bed that was like the mom that gave her kid ginger ale did you guys ever read that article and was trying to sue uh canada dry because she gave her kid I don't know how many ginger ales a day because she thought it was actual ginger in the ginger ale.

And the kid just got fat.

Yeah, sure.

Sure.

Well, someone sued them for not having actual ginger in it because they claim to.

Yeah.

And he won, I think.

Yeah.

The guy that brought the suit.

It was me.

Do you guys remember Balloon Boy?

Yeah.

That was one of those.

He was another.

Oh, yeah.

All those.

What happened to her?

Her kids are all grown up.

I've seen seen a photo of them.

Oh, and then, like, John and Kate plus eight was around that time.

And hairdo.

Oh.

That hairdo.

I don't even know how people were like, this is the new Jennifer Aniston.

I'm like, it shouldn't be.

It should.

This is.

It was.

Wasn't it like short on one side and a little bit like really, really short?

Spiky in the back.

Spsychy in the back that you just got out and you're like, I couldn't do it.

And they're just like, oh, or you got fucked.

Like, that's the hair.

And then a little bit below the earlobe and then really short on the one side.

Oh, yeah.

fancy.

Look at me.

I tried to get the Jennifer Aniston haircut, but my hairstylist was talking me out of it because it would be rachel appropriation.

What's going on with you?

This is a nice night.

Nice.

Good one.

Well, as you were on so many episodes ago, I listened to the very first appearance of

the one that has

it the one that just has

a drone the whole time of...

Yeah, there was something underneath.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what?

Maybe before this comes out, I'll try to correct that.

Let's correct that in the old episode.

So here we go.

This is episode number three.

You were working as a flower delivery

person

with Jai Harris.

Was he also doing it?

Jai Harris was doing it.

Well, no, he didn't do it.

That's why I would make my.

But like a lot of comedians do it, right?

Oh, no.

Just you.

Greg Ketner.

You guys are killing me.

But Jai always would like text me at like four.

I can't make it because he was like partying or something.

Sure.

Anyways, continue, go.

That's crazy.

In the get-to-know-us segment, Dave's get-to-know-us was that you had asparagus and it smelled funny.

No.

So we were three episodes in and I was out of things to talk about?

It smelled funny when.

Before, during, and after.

Were you a six-year-old?

No, I would never eat asparagus as a six-year-old.

Oh, I liked it when I was because it looked like little trees.

Like they look like little trees.

Oh, yeah.

I liked broccoli because it looked like little trees.

Broccoli, yeah, broccoli.

Broccoli is delicious.

Of course, the infamous milkshake at the time.

We did that episode.

Yeah, and we had the first time to be here.

You guys have been back in there.

We had a pre-show milkshake.

Yes, it was your old place.

It was upstairs.

And the worst part, I remember telling Darcy afterwards, I'm like, and you guys are like, I'm like, I have to go to washroom.

And you guys still, I think Abby was there.

You guys are like,

talking.

I'm like, can you guys go away?

Get the fuck out of here.

But at the time, we thought as a group of detectives that it was lactose.

You guys kept saying it.

I'm like, if you, I mean, if Jane was lactose intolerant, she would have known, she wouldn't have been like, I'm not sure about this milkshake.

Well, because it was, uh, I was so excited.

I used to have, it's probably why I'm seeing quick milkshakes all the time.

And when you said it, I'm like, yes.

Yeah.

And you didn't have kids at the time, too.

I was like, oh my God, you have quick.

Like, I just hadn't seen it.

I was so excited.

I was like, oh, yes.

They got it anticipating that one day they'll have children.

Yeah, I was like, no, I think I was pretty mature at the time.

Wait, what did I talk about again?

It was a smelly pee-pee.

At one point, I made a joke about a musician, Jeff Healy, who had just died the week before.

Signed Bluesman.

Yeah, it was.

Now we can laugh at it now.

I think probably at the time we laughed because

this was a mean time in comedy.

That's true.

It It was one of the meaner times.

We talked about a business called Tudaloot, which was a loot bag company that you would hire.

It still exists.

I know.

It's the biggest company in the world.

I was an early investor and now I'm a billionaire.

What are you talking about?

What is this company?

It's a company that makes loot bags for clients.

For parties?

Like kids' parties or for like

a

comedy festival.

You gotta

I think more like that.

God is your swag bag.

You're talking like, yeah, like when you were leaving a party, I just got it for a stupid wedding shower.

Yeah.

And I was like, opened it up.

It's a foot, like,

get rid of the dead skin shaver.

Yeah.

And then a bookmark.

Hey, when you something.

When you shave your feet and get rid of the dead skin, you save that skin?

For a rainy day?

Yeah.

Oh, dude.

I thought you said, do I say dead skin?

That's why I looked at you.

I'm like, I don't know.

Do you save this?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's in a mason jar.

I drink it with my own urine.

So, this is toodaloots.com, right?

What the heck?

This is totaloots.

This is not still a thing.

Instagram.com/slash toodalootes.

I'm not logged in.

And it is.com.

I checked it out.

It's still with us.

Toodaloots.com.

I'm weirded out with the internet that it's still happening.

Yeah, I was kind of too.

As I was like, oh, that's funny.

I wonder what that was because I thought it was.

I mean,

like, if you expect something from the internet in 2008 to be gone by now, what does that say about us?

That's true.

Yeah.

Impermanence, really.

Anyways, we made fun of Tudaloots.com.

As we should have.

Invested.

Dave was right.

Oh, so back in the day, and this is something that doesn't exist anymore, we were talking about how movies that came out in the theater were edited to be on airplanes.

Oh, yeah.

This is before it became like all action and everything all.

Like no sex and stuff like that?

No sex.

No sex.

Yeah, because it's now and it's weird.

You have a kid behind you and I'm watching a porno.

How does the thing end?

Oh, I'm not going to be able to finish it within the time it is.

But they do, yeah, it used to be like, well, I mean, I remember the times when everyone would watch one movie.

Oh, my God.

And that would be either like on one central screen.

It's where I first saw Mr.

Bean.

Oh, it's perfect for that.

Yeah.

And then also the

then they would just play one movie on everyone's individual screens.

Or there was the one that was like every six, two,

up above.

And it would suck if it was like, you're like in between that you're like, I can't see this.

Do you guys remember the old school headphones?

Yeah, they looked like a stethoscope kind of.

Yeah, and they had to.

I bought them every time.

I have 55 pairs.

Well, back then, everything was free.

Yeah, everything we got was free.

A blanket, even.

We didn't know how good we had it.

Because I think there was more leg room.

You got a pillow?

Yeah, that's right.

You would get a pillow, just complimentary pillows.

Sometimes a blanket.

If you ask for a blanket, they'd give it to you.

In a package.

Now it's not in a package.

It's just loose.

The guy that he just had it.

He had COVID.

Do you want it?

But

back then, it was so nice.

You would be like, My girlfriend and I would like to join the Mile High Club.

And they'd be like, right this way, sir.

There was a fold-down bed in there.

Also, Sitpi, which

you couldn't remember the word for a Murphy bed, so you called it a coffin bed.

We talked about how that's where Dracula sleeps in his apartment.

Dracula's got a studio apartment.

Isn't it?

It's really expensive, right?

It's so modular in Transylvania.

The condo market in Transylvania is crazy.

And we were talking about two shows that were from the CBC.

You care to guess.

Oh, okay.

J-Pod.

J-POD was one of them.

Oh, and...

Bean Erica?

No, but you're thinking of the right thing, but it's not being Erica.

Oh, God, was it...

Quantum late.

Don't tell me.

Yeah, yeah.

Give us a hint.

It was a gal from advertisements that we all kind of knew her.

Was she in

what?

Was she in the Baileys ad, or is that being Erica?

No, she wasn't in the Baileys ad.

You were just going to look it up.

No, no, no.

Give us what's the show about?

Give us a show.

No, no, no, no.

Slow down.

Slow down.

Slow down.

No hints yet.

Yeah.

Oh, I see.

So a lady from a commercial.

Series or like a lot of commercials.

This hour was 22 minutes.

Yep, that was it.

It was our commercial.

It's not Levi

McDougal's mcdougall's um the rogers commercials campaign

i love

uh was jason briden in the show he was in jpod no he was in

he was commercials he was in commercials no he was in like two tv shows around this time as well right

uh was jay baruchel in this show

i don't remember i mean

what was it a comedy was a comedy i think yeah a cbc thing well i just wrote down the name of it is it the name of like a street No.

Coronation street?

It's a name.

Person's name.

Oh.

Person name.

Start with A's, Dave.

And it was the person's name is the main character.

Yes.

And they are the person from the commercials.

Yes.

And the commercials.

Erica Bean?

Yeah, it was Erica Bean.

Was it?

Oh, okay.

And were the commercials for something uniquely Canadian?

Oh, that's a really good question.

Possibly.

I just remember

seeing her everywhere in the Jeremiah show, and I was like,

Jeremiah?

Joey, who, Joey Jeremy?

There was a show called Jeremiah.

No, it was

a woman's name.

It's a woman's name.

Boy.

Kate plus eight.

De kink in my hair.

It was the

train 47 or whatever.

Can you give us a clue?

Yeah, more clue now.

It starts with an S.

And we all, nope.

What was the, do you remember what the commercials were for?

No, but I think you're right about the Bailey's one.

I think that was Erin Karpluck from Being Erica.

Oh, yeah.

She's not in a Baileys commercial.

Okay.

I'm friends with her.

Yeah.

I text her.

Bailey's commercial.

She's like, yeah, I'm like, damn it.

I'm not sure what the premise is, but I think.

Was it Evangeline Lilly from the local

chatline commercial that she used to be on?

Oh, this either.

Live links.

Was Being Erica about time travel?

Yeah.

So this was about a woman who goes to therapy.

Being Therapa.

You nailed it.

This is about...

Oh,

is it Nancy Robertson?

No.

Because she was in a...

Hiccups?

Hiccups, yeah.

Susie?

I don't even know saying it will if you remember it.

I don't want to say it still.

This is the funnest game in a while I've played.

Yeah, do you remember this?

Like, if there was a game show that was just naming one season cbc sitcoms

you could have 30 seasons of that yeah i mean okay

i mean it's not a one season one but

s o

s the person's name starts with an s o yeah sonia nope

it's name of somebody we all know

sorority jones was the name of my dog when i was a kid sophie yes Sophie was the name of the dog.

Sombra.

Who was

Sophie?

She was, yeah, she was one of these.

For a while, she was in every commercial.

And I think I had a crush on her.

And what?

Then she got her own show on the Seeb.

Yeah, her.

I can't see this.

Can you bring the screen over?

What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sophie, A.

Yeah.

She was like, she was totally in ads at the time.

Well, we can watch the newest episode.

Yeah.

What?

I don't know this at all.

Starring Natalie Brown.

Natalie Brown.

No.

I don't know what commercials she was in, but according to, you listened to the episode, so she must have been.

We talked about this?

Yeah.

You watched it?

No, we kind of mentioned it in passing.

Because I didn't watch JB.

Look at her new nose.

She's got a new nose.

Okay, come on.

She ordered a new nose.

People can do whatever they want with their body, whatever they want with their noses.

She was in a commercial for Bailey's Irish Cream.

Yeah, there we go.

Salon Selectives, Canada Post, and Yoplay.

I love that you went on this and not IMDB.

Well, they don't want to have commercials on IMDb.

Yeah.

Oh, you're right.

Okay, good one.

Okay, and there was.

Corrie to Aaron Karpluck.

You weren't in a

Bailey's Irish Cream commercial.

She probably wished she did.

So this is, I remember this commercial.

It's the one where the drop

of Bailey's falls on Sophie's tongue, there.

Yeah.

Like she has her mouth open?

Yeah.

I don't, yeah.

I mean, like, she wanted it.

No, I don't mean.

I didn't mean it.

But like, she's like outside partying and just like, ha.

I think it was the inside kind of lounge party.

What?

That's weird.

Okay.

I don't remember the show at all.

Do you?

No, but I think it was, yeah, here we go.

This ad.

Oh my god.

Oh, oh, spillies.

I do remember.

I love that they're like, no.

Sense of loss.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, and here comes the hero.

Sense of duty.

Oh, my God.

It's a guy.

No!

No!

He's going to wipe her dress, and he's hesitating.

Her boob area.

She gives him the

Bailey's.

Oh!

Oh, sense of adventure.

Responsibly.

Bailey's.

Everybody there is drinking Baileys.

There's also

diarrhea.

That's what this is.

That's because you're lactose intolerant.

That was the craziest ads, too.

Just there's like a lot of miming, like, ooh, sense of sex.

Like, that was crazy.

Adventure.

It was a different time.

I love my kids on her tit sense of adventure.

Yeah,

wiping a woman's, wiping Baileys off a woman's tit.

Maybe that's.

I'm into adventure movies.

What do you like?

Raiders of the Lost Ark?

No, I like wiping Bailey's offer.

Also, I hate commercials, but that old school commercials are, are, that was so bad.

It was great.

If you go on YouTube and you can just like look up whatever, a city and a year, and they'll show you two hours of local TV.

Yes.

Okay.

And now I know what I'm doing for the next month.

I watched a documentary about a woman who recorded everything that was on TV.

She had different TVs for different stations.

And she's

on a VHS.

Yeah.

Okay.

And she caught like.

events that there's never been video of before because it just happened on TV and nobody recorded it so it's just like this whole history of like kind of the early 80s to the early 90s yeah did you have a sense of adventure

wink

um okay there also uh back in the day there used to be a bar called the media club yeah and you had a very funny experience ordering a drink at the media club

okay um i saw many shows at the media club yeah we were talking about like we're talking about shows that we did there and I just did a new

show recently there, and I hate it.

I was like, why'd you move it?

Is it still there?

Yeah, it's like Browns-esque.

Is it named?

It's not called the Media Club.

Was it named that?

Because it was close to like...

The Ventura Room now.

All the like clubs, like the Railway Club was for,

you had to sign in.

It was originally for members of the railway.

Right.

And like the Marine Club was for Marines.

The Alibi Room used to be the police club.

Oh.

All the clubs were like, and so I guess the media club was actually a club for the media back in the day.

And they're right close to the CBC building.

I guess so, yeah.

I saw a bunch of shows there.

So many.

I saw a bunch of shows there.

And the stage used to be at the back, and now it's like by the street.

And they make drinks during the show, which is always great.

They did that in the days.

They do it now, too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean,

tradition.

Not to

ruin the illusion of stand-up comedy, but you're there to sell drinks.

No.

What about the media club?

What was my drink I ordered?

So you were there with Abby.

She got just a Coke with ice in it, and they served you a beer with ice in it.

Oh, okay.

And you were like, what the hell?

But you know what?

I was probably just pretending to be a snob.

I'd love that.

I've done that in the last year.

Oh, I love it.

Maybe this is where you got your first taste.

Like, I think in the summertime, if I'm like, oh, shit, I forgot to cool down my beer.

Hmm.

I'll put some ice in in there.

Put some ice in it.

Why not?

Trying to get it into my body.

Ice in a drink's great.

And at one point, a quote that you had, because Jane and I think at the time you ran like Cordui back in that, was it that long ago?

I ran the laugh gallery, and we were talking about it.

Do you still keep in touch with the corduroy?

No.

Oh, they were an anti-vax?

They were

during.

COVID, they were the sort of like the biggest, loudest.

We're staying open.

You don't need your vax card to come here.

They had 70, that place held 45 people, if even, and they would do like on their stories of everyone like, ah!

Like, it was New Year's.

I phoned the cops on them numerous times.

But Dave at some point said, yeah, I'm looking at Starting Room.

Sounds very rewarding.

When people do weekly, even now, I don't, I don't know how I did corduroy.

I did it for four or five years.

I don't know how I did that.

Like a weekly

dumb.

And because it comes around so fast.

No, it's it's it's it's just a lot of work.

And then my favorite is one.

I don't even think people should have weekly podcasts.

No,

you shouldn't.

Dumb, both of you.

Also,

Mark Marin.

Oh, yeah.

R.I.P.

When people do a monthly show and they'll be like, yeah, it's our year anniversary.

I'm like, it's 12 shows.

Fuck off.

And also when it's like every third Thursday of the month.

We've done it a year.

We've done eight shit.

Fuck off.

And then an interesting one, because we've always said that at some point we said that we record 1,200 shows.

We said that like you said that in the first minute of the first episode, I think.

Turn out 1,800 is what we actually said.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, on that episode, but maybe on episode one, we said 1,200 because that's what everyone has pointed to.

Right.

And so that would be another six years.

Yes.

And another, if it was 1,800, we'd have to double what we're doing now.

Yikes.

Yikes.

And how many years has that been?

I guess

2008, so we're 17 in the 17.

Yeah, we're a surly team.

Yeah.

Able to drive

yourself in 17 years.

Dead and ground.

Yeah, death and ground.

I was like, dead.

Yeah, so that's some notes I took for the research.

That was great.

Yeah, really a throwback.

Man, just the fact that there was the media club mentioned in the

was your voice higher?

Yes.

Yeah, I think yours was too, I think.

Yeah, I think I may have been.

But we were recording on

glass cylinder, wax cylinder, but that's right.

And you had to, you know, it's downloadable now, but you used to have to crank it.

You used to have to crank it.

I mean, I still have to crank it.

Do you guys want to move on to some overheards?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hi, everybody.

It's Ellen Weatherford.

And Christian Weatherford.

People say not to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.

But we can judge a snake by its ability to fly, or a spider by its ability to dive, or a dung beetle by its ability to navigate with the starlight of the Milky Way galaxy.

On Just the Zoo of Us, we rate our favorite animals out of 10 in the categories of physical effectiveness, behavioral ingenuity, and of course, aesthetics.

Guest experts like biologists, ecologists, musicians, comedians, and more join us to share their unique insights into the animal kingdom.

Listen with the whole family on maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

The wizards answer eight by eight.

The cornclaves call to demonstrate their arcane gift, their single spell.

They number sixty-four

until

a conflagration

sixty-three

and sixty-two they soon shall be, as one by one the wizards die,

till one remains to reign on high.

Join us for Taz Royale, an oops all-wizards battle royale season of the adventure zone every other Thursday on maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Overheard.

Overheard's a segment where we share.

We love to share.

It's sharing is what we're all about.

And it's things that we've heard out there in the world.

And Jane, would you lead us off with an Overheard?

Okay, I will.

I was at a wedding trammer, and there was quite a few people there.

And

it's the first time ever I felt like I was maybe an adult.

Like I feel,

I still think I'm sometimes 16 or 32.

Yeah.

And

the younger ladies who are like 25, they were going out afterwards and it was a Sunday night.

And they're like, yeah, well, it's a surprise where we're taking the person getting married.

And oh, where are you going?

Are you going to the Roxy?

Yeah, we're going to the Roxy

and it's cowboy night.

And in my head, I went, It didn't used to be cowboy night, though.

And they're like, It's gonna be good.

Last time, a friend of mine went and the Canucks were there.

Some of the Canucks go?

Oh my God.

And then I'm getting closer and closer, dying not to say anything.

They're like, Oh, the Canucks go there.

They go, Why do they even go there?

There's so many places other to go.

Probably they get free drinks.

And I then added and pussy.

And they literally were like, so mad at me, but I was like, wrong crowd, but I loved it.

But also, they like, they were like, but they go.

I'm like, what I just said, free pussy.

Yeah.

Wow.

Wow.

James.

They still, like, they still go there.

How weird is that?

Do they really?

Yes.

Well, yeah.

Any do I still go there too?

And yes.

Waiting

club in Canada.

When professional hockey players show up, the status of every other man in the club goes down.

And

the hockey players are immediately the center of.

Oh, God, yeah.

And there was a documentary I watched about how sports stars don't know how to handle their money.

And all the strippers said it was always football players because they were the only people that had their mask or their face covered during a game.

So they wanted to prove, like, hey, we're the biggest football players.

And hockey now, too, though, really.

No, you know, hockey players' face.

I'm memorizing.

Only when they send me pictures of them buttles i know with skates on yeah skates on

a little goalie mask peering over

i love that you're in my head i went kelly rudy

kelly

david you haven't overheard kelly rudy was a goalie uh

and he uh famously wore a

uh like a headband under his goalie mask as well because he was like one of the first guys to wear contact lenses and he oh really the sweat would get in his eyes and so he wore a headband but he would wear his goalie mask and have like a the

long hair coming out but also like it wasn't like a an

like a mullet no no no it was a mullet I saw but he had he had like his his at the rough his headband was the kind you tied on and so like the little ribbon would be hanging out the back ah

that's not a bad claim to fame as as they go

I was one of the first to wear contact lenses playing hockey I mean,

I don't know how true that is.

But this was back before, you know, contact lenses were everywhere.

Yeah, and you would like, one would come out and everyone would be like, stop, this guy lost his contact lens.

Stop the game.

And now you have them and you throw them away after a day.

Now you have an overheard.

I suppose I do.

Mine's more of an overseen.

So I went to your 24-hour show.

You did great, by the way.

I was watching like a sucker.

Yeah, go.

Did you do any writing?

I I had stuff that it was, because it was going to come that I had in my head that, but go, go, your story.

Why didn't you go?

I'll tell you later.

Go.

I got to leave right after this recording.

So tell me now.

So I was there

and afterwards, Alicia was like, hey, do you want to go for ice cream after this?

And I was like, yes.

And we managed to get a crew of some of the writers.

who all came along with us.

And it was me and Alicia and Kelly Ogmanson, Kyle Fiennes, all past crew, past guests, and Kyle Fiennes' wife, never been on the pod, not allowed.

Karen, very, very cool lady.

I'm laughing at Dave's not allowed.

I'm like, whoa, what happened there?

And we, Alicia had heard of this ice cream place in Gastown.

And we went, and it was, it's a French place.

It's called like something chocolatier.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And it's all just soft serve that they dip in different chocolate

stips.

Sounds great.

It does sound great.

I got the one that was like the hazelnut, and I was expecting it to be like, oh, you're dipping it in Nutella or whatever.

It wasn't great.

And the ice cream itself was pretty flavorless.

And then the toppings were kind of overpowering.

So even when you get through the toppings, you just have vanilla ice cream.

And it wasn't as good as like the Great dairy queen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, but um

anyway, so we were there and we were eating our ice cream and then afterwards and it was just like

the cones are so big and you kind of need a spoon to eat the cone as well.

But is it dip?

Did it do go hard or was it still

like a dairy queen one almost?

Yeah, dip cone

situation, right?

Yes.

Yeah.

I wanted to go when you first said it, and then when you said that, I went, no.

I'll go back to DQ.

Yeah.

Thank you very much.

Yeah.

It's nice and cheap, too.

This seems like it'd be expensive.

I don't know.

Alicia paid for me.

Oh, that's nice.

But these were huge cones.

And like Madonna's

outfit.

I was already there.

And so we ate ours and then we said goodbye.

And as we were leaving, a.

couple

left the place and got on a motorcycle and they had had

these giant ice cream cones.

But then the guy got on the front of the motorcycle and gave his to the girl, and she was on the back of the motorcycle, and they rode off, and she's just holding these two melting ice cream cones.

You can't eat them because you got the helmet on.

Yeah, yeah.

Where were they going?

And they were stuck in traffic.

Like we caught up to them, and other people were laughing at them because she also can't hold on to him now.

Everything.

I'd be eating both.

I gotta say these, not myself

yeah

helly planned yeah that was our

just finish it yeah like 10 minutes max you're not gonna get a ticket for your motorcycle yeah what the hell um

what the hell

now this is just this is just coincidence but my overheard is also from the world of dairy queen

so this is i went to dairy queen yesterday by the way and delicious it was good what'd you get hot dog i got a mint oreo blizzard i had just gone to Nat's New York Style Pizzeria

in Kitsilano, the place that is famous because Ryan Reynolds loves it.

Yep.

Yeah.

Because everyone who went to kids high school went there for lunch all the time.

And while I was in there, two dudes were like talking to the guy behind the counter and they were like, you got a lot of Ryan Reynolds stuff in here.

And the guy behind the counter was like, well, you know, he

used to come here all the time.

Whoa, really?

Cool.

They were like, tourists.

Just give us the slice he used to like.

So we're in Dairy Queen.

Well, he likes the Tim Hortons.

Egg and scramble.

Egg and scramble.

Scramble slice.

But we were in, Sally and I were in the Dairy Queen at just ordering.

Which one?

One on Main Street.

Oh, it's a good one.

And we got blizzards.

And the second we were done, we were like, oh, we'll eat them in here.

The guy from behind the counter turned the lights off.

He said, we're closed now.

It was 6.02 p.m.

What?

Yeah.

And we had to all leave.

But he was still serving like it was going to be open for an hour or whatever.

They do close a bit early.

That one is really early.

I feel like it's almost 9 p.m.

The wedding kit is open till 4 in the morning.

Ah, shit.

I should have gone there, I think.

So, weirdly.

Yeah.

I got to get that delivered.

Yeah.

Are you not scared getting that with peanuts and whatnot?

Like the cross.

Sorry.

The cross contamination?

I mean, look, you know, you gotta

draw the line somewhere.

Yeah, exactly.

It was delicious.

Also, I didn't realize their outdoor trash can, they bring it inside at night because I guess people would throw it around.

Well, there's bears as well.

Oh, there's bears, that's true.

Mean street bears.

No, like they put it inside at the end of the night.

Like the

just a can can, not like the dumpster.

No, not the dumpster.

Takes up the whole round.

You walk in every time, it smells in here.

Yeah, we accidentally accidentally

smashed the front window with a dumpster.

And we also have overheards from people all over the map.

If you want to send one in, you can send it into SBY at maximumfun.org.

What are the other good dairy queens?

Well, the one in Dunbar is quite good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Where's the character?

Is that a right by me?

But that's an Orange Julius one as well?

Slash.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What do we think about that?

Chat?

I love Orange Julius.

The thought of it, the taste of it.

10 minutes later, I'm having a meeting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It is one of those like, yeah, no.

I think it, I don't think it should exist outside of a mall.

100%.

Fair enough.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, there's one.

There's a one on Robson that's a slash.

The slash.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And of course, there's a good one on Fraser and 40 seconds.

I didn't know all this stuff.

You're killing me.

I have one more overheard, but I can do it after.

Let's go.

Yeah, we'll do it after these ones.

Oh, you know what?

do it now yeah go ahead and do it now okay i frequent uh kilchena the uh the park oh yeah you do the um the walk around oh i was gonna ask do you do the frisbee golf that's what this is about

so i hate ultimate i don't know why i just the whole that i ultimate warrior yes you're a lifelong soccer player and you don't like the ultimate frisbee players and don't say frisbee it's a disc that was another thing they don't use uh it's referees it's self-refereed, and they want to get in the Olympics.

You can't get in the Olympics if you don't have a ref.

That's we'll leave it at that.

But frisbee

golf, no, disc golf, whatever.

It's taking off, it's bigger than it's ever been.

I was doing a video of these idiots playing

because it'll be around the dog park.

And I was doing a video.

I was like, trying to be like a

nature person.

I was like, and they're out in the springtime in the wild.

I was doing commentating.

And then

I was walking and he's like, this guy's like, I don't even play that much anymore, but I still beat everyone.

They're drinking beer.

And I'm like, oh, God.

And I'm laughing at them.

And then he gets grass.

He throws it in the air to see the wind,

how to throw it.

I was like, oh, no.

And then he went, were you taking video of us?

Cause

you probably shouldn't.

And I'm like, what?

And I thought he was dead.

I was like, so it wasn't overheard.

It was an interaction overheard.

And I was like, yeah, I was.

And he's like, of the last throw I did.

So he wanted to see the throw he did.

So then I'm now,

I look like a crazy person because I have a fanny bag for my dog with the food.

And I went, you want that?

And in my head, I was like, you're so crazy.

But I came off real crazy.

Yeah.

If he says, you probably shouldn't do that, I'm kind of on his side.

I wasn't, it was from afar.

So I'm weirded out.

But that too, the dog park area, there's like three different little, and it's all chains.

So it's like, it's weird that they throw it.

And then he's, they'll, different people, they'll always be like, can you move?

Can you, I'm like, no.

Yeah.

You're in a park.

Get the fuck out.

That's what I say.

Get the fuck out.

Smoking.

Jane's not afraid to get, you know.

It is

getting bigger.

And there's always people at the one at Queen Lee Elizabeth Park.

And you know how, like, sometimes people have like a putting green in their yard?

No.

Oh, well, it's a thing.

Okay.

Wow.

I've never seen that before.

I do.

Well, wow.

Oh, you do?

No.

And then, but I recently saw someone with one of those frisbee golf chain

holes in their yard.

No.

And it's not a big yard.

Tell me the address afterwards.

Well, they probably just work on their spinning.

But the sound of that, you're the neighbor.

I would murder you.

I will egg your house.

With the clang, the chain clang.

Is it a pickleball?

Yeah, pickleball is worse.

People lose their mind with it.

I think it's the funniest thing.

They'll be like, the sound.

I'm like, okay.

Or of everyone dying because they're fat.

Yeah, that's the noisiest.

The noisiest.

They explode.

That's the trade-off you make as a society.

You either have people keeping fit with pickleball or dying lights.

Explodely.

Explodely.

Explodely.

Explodely.

You nailed it.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

So we've got Overheard sent in.

This first one comes from Robin in Guelph, Ontario.

Overheard in a theater in London.

Someone in the row behind me said, that's what I love about England.

There's so much history here.

You can't walk down the street without bumping into another Agatha Christie statue, which I don't know if that's true.

I never saw one when I was in London.

They're good looking.

They got tons of that over there, though.

Not always Agatha Christie, but.

Winston Churchill.

Sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The two big mystery writers of the time.

It was nice.

He took a time off from his mystery writers.

He did write some with James Patterson.

And his ghostwriter, for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah, he's got a whole factory.

He turns those out.

Yeah, but someone, people don't think it, they think it's still him.

Sure.

Like, how is he turning out 100 books a year?

With Bill Clinton.

This next one comes from Angela from Toronto.

I was with my kid at the Toronto Zoo.

And there was a family walking behind us.

A boy about 11 years old said to his dad, That was the best day of my life.

And the father said, that was the best day of your life when I bought you a lollipop, not when I took you to Spain and Portugal.

Kids wouldn't they don't appreciate portugal kids have never heard of portugal yeah well that's why the best day usually is the zoo or going to disneyland they don't care yeah yeah yeah and it's also like what kind of ice cream snacks or lollipops do you think they have in portugal oh boy good ones yeah probably but also or be in a room full of balls you know like the yeah ikea

yes

probably the filthiest right was ikea do you think was the filthiest or uh ikea like chucky cheese i think my kids kids never did it because it was...

Too gross?

It was there.

You have to be out of diapers.

Okay.

And then by the time, like, there was a very small window when my kids were out of diapers between that and then when COVID started.

And so it was like...

That's great.

So never Granville Island then?

Because they have like a giant ball pit there.

Oh, never the ball pit.

I go in and I've been kicked out so many times.

They've done the.

Excuse me, ma'am.

A lot of the, they've done kids only.

There's like a little arcade, and

certainly there's a virtual reality store that they've gone to.

You sit in a pod and go on a roller coaster.

Love it.

That's fucking great.

It rips.

Isn't there one in Kingsgate Mall?

Some sort of VRX.

I'm never doing that.

It's just going through Kingsgate Mall.

Yeah, virtually.

But you get to go through Kingsgate Mall from 20 years.

Yeah, exactly.

You get to take a library book.

Take a library book, go to Orange Orange.

This last one comes from Yuri in Gladstone, Missouri.

Yuri from Missouri.

You know it.

The one and only.

Oh, my God.

He must be in Yakov Smirnov's entourage.

It is entourage.

In Russia, entourage.

No, you follow entourage.

Instead of

turtle, he's got urinal.

It's a turtle from urinal.

My wife and I travel to her hometown to visit family and attend the town's annual fair.

While at the fair, a couple and their five-year-old pass by us hid to parents.

Guess who I don't have a crush on at school?

Mom, who kid my sister?

Everyone else?

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but sis, no thanks.

Well, that's great.

And thanks to everyone for sending those in.

Now, in addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls and voice memos.

If you want to send us a voice memo,

do it.

And email it to spy spy at maximumfund.org.

And if you want to call us, go to your phone and

put in 1-844-779-7631.

That's one.

Ugh.

Spypod one, like these people have.

It's Ted Mom.

Oh, Ted Mom.

Bitch.

It's Patricia.

I've got a message to use protection from the sun.

Oh, honey.

Oh,

I wanna get

my tan on.

They all are losers.

I'm sexier than the teen mom.

I am cool.

I am cool.

This looks like a video that they would say

is the latest YouTube trend on like Law and Order.

Point off to everyone that we were talking about too.

I want you to back away, get away.

I love that B doesn't tam though.

Oh my god, this is my favorite thing in the world.

What is this called so it feels inside?

It's called It's Tan Mom,

okay.

By Patricia Crent.

Oh, I gotta see it to believe it.

Yeah, that's my wedding song, I'll tell you that much.

Get rid of the floor.

Robot it.

Okey-dokey.

Hi, Dave and Graham and probable guests, this is Dee from New Hampshire calling in an overseen.

I was just driving home from work and

got stopped behind someone who was turning left into a bowling alley, and they were driving a white Ford Bronco, the original kind of Bronco, not the new one.

And their license plate was RIP Space OJ.

No way!

Oh, wow.

A tribute.

There is someone in Vancouver with a new white Bronco, and I believe their license plate is Juice.

Nice.

No.

It's an iconic car killer combination.

Also, the old Bronco, those are expensive.

The old ones.

Well, there's the like vintage like 70s ones that you see people.

Those are 75,000 plus.

Yeah, that, but no, his was the 90s.

Yeah.

Okay.

Did I ever tell you guys when I said that

I did it?

What if I did it, though?

I have tiny hands.

Is I was at the airport coming back from Europe and news was not the same back then.

And there was on the TV screen.

This was the 90s?

82.

No.

And it had OJ's picture.

And I was like, oh, he's in a new naked gun.

And it showed him on the highway.

I was like, this seems weird.

It's when they were chasing him.

And I literally was like, what?

What happened?

Because just I was in Europe, so I didn't know anything.

Yeah, that's so cool.

Shut up.

No, no, I mean it.

It's like that back in the day when you didn't get the news.

Yeah.

If you weren't here and you didn't watch TV or have a newspaper.

Yeah.

My present, sorry, principal from our school announced it over to the intercom.

What?

That OJ was found innocent.

That's the weirdest thing.

It was the only story at the time.

But why was it your principal's duty to do that?

Tell you that.

Did you give her your headlines every day?

Yeah.

Funny ones, though.

Yeah.

Why would you say that?

That's the weirdest thing in the world.

But I remember when it happened because everybody threw their binders in the air because that was just an opportunity.

Woohoo!

My brother told me a story.

This is not OJ related, but it's related to traveling and being out of touch about he was traveling in Europe and he was met some other travelers and they were British and they made a joke.

This was like right when the Spice Girls came out, but he hadn't heard the Spice Girls yet

because he was traveling and these British women made a joke that was like, hey, what's the difference between a Spice Girls video and a porno video or a porno movie?

And they said, the porno video has better music.

Oh, scorch.

And he was like, my brother was like, I got to get back to North America and find out about these Spice Girls.

And he got back and he was like, well, that joke doesn't make sense because the videos aren't that racy and the music rules.

Yeah,

the music is awesome.

They were the only band at the time.

You two are killing me.

Here's your next phone call.

Hey, Dave and Graham, this is Daniel in Cleveland, Ohio.

I was recently on vacation in St.

Lucia and I was lounging on a floater out in the ocean and there were these two boys, maybe eight or nine.

One was from England and one was from France.

And it started to rain.

So everyone was kind of getting ready to go inside.

And the little boy from England was really disappointed that he was going to be distanced from his new friend.

And he was like, oh, whoa, whoa, wait.

One more thing.

Can you say, can you say,

my name is Noah?

And the French kid goes,

Jemmapel Noah.

And he goes, oh, okay, okay.

Okay.

Something else.

Something else.

Do you know what skippity toilet is?

And then later on, I heard him say, can you say sigma?

What?

Happy to hear that kids all over the world think that same dump shit is funny.

All right.

Off I go.

Skibity Toilet.

It's happening.

It's what's happening now.

Is it?

Yeah.

It's what's cool.

Yeah, my principal came on the intercom and said, skibbity toilet.

What does skibbity toilet mean though?

It's a brain rot video from the internet about a guy who spins in the toilet.

Yeah.

And he sings a song about being skibbity toilet.

Check it out.

Yeah, it's not all tan mom.

It's sort of post-tan mom.

I will.

Of course, I will.

And here's your final phone call ever.

Maybe this is our last one.

Oh, my God.

900 is all we've promised.

It's a good way to go out.

And I'm kind of inspired by Mark Marin.

That's right.

Yeah.

Don't

dare you too.

No.

All right.

Here we go.

Hey, Dave, Graham, and guests.

This is Justin in Connecticut calling in an overheard.

I was just in a Chipotle

behind a couple who seemed to be bickering amongst themselves while we were in line.

Finally, they got up to the register to pay.

The girl goes to pick up the tray to walk to the table, and the gentleman excuses himself to the restroom, and she yells behind him, all you do is pee and get mad.

No freaking way.

But you knew that when you married me.

That's all I do is I pee and I get mad.

So I have to go to the bathroom.

Here we go again.

Five times a day.

What's going?

What are you doing in that bathroom?

Who are you stating?

Skibbity-doo.

Skibity Didi.

Whatever that thing was.

Skibity-doo.

Perfect.

Skibbity-doo.

You're addicted to the toilet.

I can hear you splashing around.

What's going on?

You're just like your father.

Why are you laughing in there?

Maybe I'm just like my father.

Two.

The boy was just like me.

Hey, Dad, can I spend some time in the toilet?

Whatever.

We can do you flesh it out and post.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You guys going to come back for a punch-up session on this episode?

Do some ADR.

Well, that brings us to the end of this episode.

Jane, you produced many shows.

What can people do?

This will be out, by the way, on the 16th of June.

My birthday.

No, it's not.

Yeah, I have shows.

I'm on the island at that time, and then I'm doing Heckler's on the Saturday of the, I think it's the 18th or something like that.

Okay.

Whatever.

And then I have the other shows I'm doing the following week from like Wednesday on.

They can just check it out on Instagram, on my link.

Thank you.

You are what on Instagram?

Not.

I'm Chan Mom.

She's at Tanmom.

Tan Mom.

I'm the Jane Stanton.

She's the Jane Stanton.

At the Jane Stanton.

Okay.

Yeah.

Thank you for being our guest.

Thank you.

And thank you, everybody out there for listening.

If you haven't visited your local dairy queen, they're waiting for you.

And go have yourself a treat and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcast Your So.

Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.