Ep 209. Rosie Ramsey - Series 19 Ep.9

Hello, Ed Gamble here.

Welcome to the Taskmaster podcast.

And look, it's a bit of sweet, isn't it?

Because it's Taskmaster Series 19, episode 9, that we're going to be discussing, which means there's only one episode left.

It's the grand finale next week.

But let's not wish anything away.

This brilliant episode again, I mean, they all have been.

The series is absolute madness.

And very much looking forward to speaking to our guest today, who is the wonderful Rosie Ramsey.

Yes, of course, Rosie is on the show at the moment, and very, very, very good she is too.

Lots to talk to her about, about her experience on the show.

We've got a whole nine episodes of stuff to bring up.

We will talk to her about what Chris said last week

about her not understanding tasks.

We'll hopefully start some sort of rift within their marriage.

It would be great.

But let's crack on with it.

This is Taskmaster Series 19, episode 9, as discussed by Rosie Ramsey.

Welcome, Rosie, to the Taskmaster podcast.

Welcome back, of course, to the Taskmaster podcast.

Hello, thank you for having me.

You have been on the Taskmaster podcast before, potentially as our first non-contestant who has now become a contestant.

Ooh,

that's pretty cool.

I like that.

Sorry, Patatas is getting in my way.

Are they?

And before we started recording, you were talking to me about your history of caravans.

Yes.

But you didn't know the story, I didn't know the story.

No, so we all sat in the caravan, which it's hot.

Everyone mentions it's hot.

I've been listening to the podcast.

It is very hot.

Chris complained a lot last week.

Well, yeah, well, he told me that it was hot.

But I said, actually, you get a lot hotter than I do.

So I was like, I don't need to dress in a tight night, you know, it's fine.

This is capable.

This is nice.

I'm enjoying it.

Anyway, yeah, so we had a caravan similar to this when I was younger.

It got given to my parents by my old headmaster.

I don't know.

I mean, why?

There's probably a backstory there that we don't have time to get.

Maybe a possible affair between my mom and the headmaster.

Not what I'm saying, Rosie.

Well, is it?

Why wouldn't he sell it?

It wasn't that bad.

Was it when you'd

had you left the school at this point?

Was this?

We were still at school.

We were still at school.

Even bigger story, we were very churchy.

So my mom, oh my god, my mom again.

Everyone thought my mom was having an affair with the priest because, no, so my dad's got OCD and he can't go into a church.

There's a huge, it's a huge, he has to burn his clothes.

Don't listen to this, dad.

Okay, so there's a big, huge story.

There are a few things that I want to

track back to.

What do you want to know?

Why did your dad's OCD prevent him from going into a church?

It's like, do you know much about OCD?

No, I'd be interested to know.

Because everybody sort of goes, oh, my OCD, I've got to keep everything tidy.

Like, it's so much deeper than that.

Yeah, yeah.

If you, so there's like habits that you have to do to cancel out a thought.

Right.

So if my dad dad went into church, I don't know if it's this anymore.

I need to speak to him about it actually.

So if he went into church, bear in mind, me, my brother, and sister all were altar servers on the church.

And we used to go every Sunday.

And because my mum's big Catholic.

Oh, she was, not anymore.

And my dad couldn't come.

And if he went, he would have to go home and get rid of the suit, probably burn it if it was a christening.

Or he would have to, I've lost you, haven't I?

I know, because you've not lost me.

I've now got so many more questions.

Okay, he would have to wash his hands 13 times.

Everything Everything was 13.

Yeah, yeah.

So when I was younger, my dad used to sit up and down on his seat 13 times, and I thought it was completely normal.

So he'd literally just go

13 times.

Or light switches on and off.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I shouldn't say anymore.

I probably should, that's enough.

But

it was quite intense.

Let's get back to the caravan.

Yeah.

So my mom was having an affair with the headmaster, got gifted a caravan through love.

She genuinely wasn't.

He was just a lovely man and he really liked our family.

But anyway, this caravan sat on the drive because we didn't have a car.

We did not.

Why have they accepted a caravan when we didn't own a car?

So it's dropped off at your house.

It got dropped off.

It was on bricks, Ed.

It was literally on bricks.

Like the front of it had to be on bricks or it would have like fell over.

And we had it for like six years.

And it was there that long that people started graffitiing the front of it.

At one point, somebody put GIMP on the side.

It was the GIMP caravan.

The GIMP caravan.

We had great.

We used to play in it.

My sister, who's a little bit older than me, would have like boys in it.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In the GIMP caravan.

In the GIMP caravan, doing all sorts.

It was great.

So I've got a real affinity for caravans.

We used to have a motor home, but Chris made me sell it.

Well, you and Chris had a motorhome?

Yeah.

Up until like two years ago.

Were you doing like holidays in it?

Yeah.

Loved it.

He hated every second of it.

That's a teleshow waiting to be commissioned, surely.

Well.

Ramsay's on the road.

Oh, there's the title.

Holy shit.

No, he hated it he wouldn't he would never do it he hated it so much he made me sell it no well that again that sounds like it would be a brilliant tv show chris chris hating being in a motorbike yeah great well you're really enthusiastic driving up and down the country it was so good times you've got to take your own feces to the thing you know to the title you've got actually yeah that's what he hated about there's a little there's a little suitcase of all of your family's like offerings you've got to you've got to troll it along the caravan side it's on wheels

It's like this mechanic this chemical toilet thing you've got to take you've got to empty it and you're just watching all your family shit go down

I think that's what he didn't like I think we'd have to cut that out the main edit

every week that's one of the that's one of the format points is Chris wheels his family shit in a suitcase across a four court I'm not doing it unless that's a

look we do need to talk about task master

because I do have a feeling that I could just talk to you about caravans for an hour.

You've done the show.

You're incredible on it.

How are we?

Look, you're very entertaining.

And I see this episode, of course, we're always going to have you on because you're a contestant on the show, but you're the week after Chris has been on.

Yeah.

And I see this as your right of reply.

Right, okay.

Because Chris came in and really got some stuff off his chest about how you take information in.

Yeah, okay.

Because last week there were a couple of tasks where you didn't necessarily fully understand what was supposed to be happening.

Even in the studio, when you found out you were losing a point for completing the Skittles task correctly, you seem shocked by that.

Yeah.

He said that quite often in your life, he'll be trying to explain something to you and he can see the moment that you just switch off.

Is that fair?

Do you know what?

Normally I would argue the point, but just bang on.

I really don't listen.

I don't listen at all.

Well, that particular task with the Skittles, Alex, we had a bit of time spare before we were starting filming in the little porch bit of the house.

Yeah.

I didn't really understand.

And he went, do you understand?

I went, not massively.

Can you explain it?

He explained it three times each time.

And he was like looking at me, even more, going, Do you understand?

I'm going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fully understood.

I didn't have a clue.

I did not have a clue.

I swear.

So, is that at that point?

So, Chris's assertion is that when you don't understand something, you just can't be asked to then understand.

Is that fair?

Yeah.

Same as if I'm losing.

Yeah.

If I'm losing a game, I hate games.

Yeah.

I don't know why I did it.

I hate games.

And if I'm losing, I don't, I give up.

Yeah.

I don't want to complete it.

Yeah.

That's the truth.

Currently, still second in the series.

Yeah, I am.

Which, I mean, Alex seems shocked by that.

It's the first time I've ever heard Alex say to someone, I cannot believe you're doing well.

I know, I know, I know.

I was more surprised than that.

But I think I just got lucky that the rest of my cast were also pretty shit.

Chaotic.

I mean, you're all chaotic in your own way, for sure.

Do you not think I just look like an old woman?

No.

Do you not think?

No.

I feel like I'm just every I'm watching myself on telling.

This is the first time I've ever watched myself on a show and thought, you're old.

And I feel like I'm quite serious.

No, absolutely not serious.

Oh, my, not at all.

Okay,

maybe I've just watched it.

Sure, there's a moment you fell over on those cushions where God.

If that had been an old woman, you wouldn't have got back up again.

No, I know.

I could have died, you know.

I swear I couldn't.

You fell into a pile of cushions.

If the cushions hadn't been there, I would have smashed my face.

But if the cushions hadn't have been there, you wouldn't have fallen fallen over because you tripped on a cushion into a pile of cushions yeah i got greedy yeah lazy and greedy

let's talk about this episode though episode nine the penultimate episode uh there's i mean there's so much to talk about this is the problem when we get to episode nine is there's loads i want to talk to you about from the show so far we do have to talk about the show just talk about this episode this particular episode but do you have any particular highlights from the series so far?

Anything you're proud of?

Anything that you're upset about?

Anything that you need to talk to me about?

So I am upset about the prize tasks.

In general.

In general.

Okay.

Because I just did shit.

I just was terrible because I did that thing when, you know, when you get your first idea.

Yeah.

And you should have stuck with your first idea.

Yes.

But then, you know, you think it over and you have time.

You have time to prepare for them.

That I thought and I thought, no, that's not good enough.

And then I've done something else, and when I've, when I've actually seen them, I've thought, that is shocking.

So, I'm especially for this episode, I had a different one that I didn't take, and I'm gutted that I didn't, didn't use it.

Well, let's let's get into it then, because this, this week's prize task is the most satisfying thing you could use as a jelly mold.

Um, so you brought in the air fryer drawers.

I would say, with a few of these, not just yours, I think with Stevie's as well and Matt's, I would say those are not jelly molds.

No.

Because to me, a good jelly mold is something that you then tip the jelly out of.

Yes.

And the jelly has an interesting shape.

Yes.

A chest of drawers, an air fryer drawer or a paddling pool are

jelly containers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what was your other option other than the air fryer drawers?

I just recently got a new tooth.

And so I had, you know, the mold of your teeth that you get.

And it's just why they give you them back, I've got no idea.

You know, and you're like, I don't need this what the fuck is this but then I've got that and I was like should I take that but when I asked Chris about as well the tooth that was missing is missing so that no jelly would stay in it does that make sense so it would have just been

it wouldn't have so it's just the roof of my mouth yeah and my teeth yeah and then but I was like how good would that be if you like poured out and then that's a set of like my teeth yeah but then it's got a hole missing where my tooth was missing yeah but I could have just filled it in couldn't it I still think would have been better it would have been more It would have been...

You would have had that discussion in the studio about whether it would function as a jelly mold, but it is more interesting than air fryer draws.

And that was my first.

That was my first idea.

You should have stuck with the first one.

I should have stuck with it.

To be honest with you, not that I want to dig him out.

Chris did put me off a lot of what I came up with first.

Don't ask Chris.

He didn't win his series.

I know he didn't.

I know he did.

Maybe...

Was it sabotage?

I think it might have been sabotage.

Because he does not...

I got the impression he absolutely, the only thing he wants is for you to not do better than him.

Yes.

Yeah.

oh god i got that impression as well yeah yeah and weirdly you're doing pretty much the same at this point yeah we are there's maybe five points in it or something not many yeah he is keeping a log yeah yeah it's written on the walls

but you went with the air fryer drawers

i mean i have an issue with air fryers in general but why

i just think people are so obsessed with them for what is essentially a a small oven on top of your actual oven.

Do you have children?

No.

You will never understand

the air fryer pulse.

Is it just the ease of

chicken nuggets in an oven?

You've got to wait for it to preheat for about five, six minutes.

And then they take, you're like, why haven't they take like 12 minutes in an air fryer?

Honestly, nine minutes start to finish.

Okay, that's it.

I can't believe it.

If you've got kids around you going, where's my dinner ready?

When's my nuggets?

When's my nuggets?

Yeah.

Then you go, they are really good for that.

But I can see where you're coming from.

If I had kids, they're not eating nuggets.

You're not going to give your kids nuggets.

No way.

Well, Well, let's watch this bit.

You will not deny your children a nuggets.

They'll have guinea fowl.

Of course they will.

Now, producer Daisy, who I know that you know very well as well,

has written here, has written me a note here saying, Rosie and Greg's interaction gives a glimpse into what Rosie was like at school.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Right, okay, so I've said I'm a bit serious.

Maybe Sela was a bit scared.

Yeah.

he is quite um

well, he's I mean obviously an ex-teacher and he still has that authority and he's massive.

He is massive and I'm really short because you were you were really pushing this idea to him the air fry drawers and you looked genuinely wounded.

Yeah, when he said it was bad.

Yeah.

And when he gave the one point Rosie, you looked heartbroken.

I know well I was a little bit and this episode as well.

So my whole sort of thing for Taskmaster, I haven't watched all of the series, but I've watched a good few of them.

When people argue back, he doesn't like it.

So I thought, I'm just going to behave myself.

So I didn't argue back much.

And I feel like this is one of the times when I really argued back.

And it shot and blew my face.

It didn't work, did it?

It didn't work at all.

So I thought, well.

Also, he's got Fatia on the end there, absolutely arguing every single possible point.

What did she have again for this?

Fatia had a hollow plastic foot, which I genuinely thought was quite good.

Yeah, it was.

I thought it was all right, actually.

And like, it is a,

it's a, it's a mold.

You could, I mean, it'd be difficult to get it out of there.

You'd have to cut the foot open to get it out of there.

But then you'd have a...

You'd have a foot.

It's fun.

A foot-shaped jelly.

Out of all of the ones she's done, that was quite strong.

I was like, this is actually quite good.

But I think she made it sexual too quickly.

Yeah.

That she sort of suggested it was to do with foot fetish.

Everyone loves

feats, is what she said, actually.

Feets, did she say?

Everyone loves feats, yeah.

And she only got the two points for it, which I think was a shame because it was one of the only molds in my mind.

Because Stevie, another insight into Stevie's character, the idea of having a party, party making jelly in a drawer and being like oh do you want some jelly

if you went to someone's house and they did that in her mind you're going wow what a house what a party what a host What would you do if you went to someone's house and they opened a chest of drawers and it was full of jelly?

I'd be devastated.

Yeah.

And then they'd be friends the cycle.

Let's leave.

But I feel like me and Stevie might have both watched.

Have you seen that Instagram video of the Tiramasu drawer?

Yes, I have.

I feel like we both watched that at similar times and thought, a drawer of jelly.

But equally, I don't want anyone to open a drawer and there's tiramisu in there.

No, it's mangy.

It's actually in the bowl.

I love it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love it.

Yeah, it is pretty awful, isn't it?

Did you know about the porridge drawer?

Beg your pardon?

You will not know about this.

You will.

There's absolutely.

Actually, no, I'll tell you.

I'm going to tell you something.

Tell me about the porridge drawer.

So, it's Scottish.

Yeah.

Years and years ago, back in the day, they used to just put porridge in a drawer.

They'd eat their porridge.

They put it in just like a chest of drawers.

Yeah, like a top drawer.

Yeah.

Of like a dresser.

Or like a dresser, like a French, like a Welsh dresser.

Like every morning.

I don't know how often it was, but it is a full thing.

It's in the Bruins, an Ua, Woolley.

Okay.

Yeah.

And they really did that, they did.

They really did.

Porridge in a drawer.

I don't think they do it anymore.

Maybe that's where I got it from.

Maybe that's where I got the

porridge drawer.

Did you not know that?

No, I didn't know about the porridge drawer.

There you go.

Yeah, I learned something.

I don't know what I've learned, though, because you didn't give a lot of facts sort of around the...

You said in Scotland they used to put porridge in a drawer, it might not be that.

And that's all you've yeah, yeah, you've you've given me absolutely no facts.

I'll find out, I'll send you a message, and I will find, I will find out for you.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

And you can send it directly to me as well.

You don't need to send it through, Chris, like you did with the close-up picture of your bruise,

which you didn't reply to, by the way.

Chris was like, He hasn't replied.

I was like, Oh, god, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know what reply you wanted.

It's very close to my vagina,

a reply would have been nice, like, even just it, oh, ouch,

Top of my dick, you wanted?

There you go.

Tip for tap.

Even see you and see.

Matt brings in a paddling pool.

Yeah.

Again, Matt gets four points for this.

Shit.

That was bad for him.

He's good at the tasks.

He's really good at the price points.

That was terrible, I think.

But I think the fact he is normally good at them meant he got four points here for something that I don't think he deserved four points for.

Was it better than the drawer?

See, I would have.

Yeah.

Tell me it was better than the drawers.

What I liked about your air fryer drawers, and you only referenced it quickly, is that

it's like smooth inside and like non-stick.

So if you were making jelly in it and you tipped it out, it would come out easy.

Yeah.

I thought that was practical.

Like a three-course meal.

Yes, I didn't quite get that bit.

So I was that, well, you can use the same receptacle.

Yeah.

Is that the right word?

Yeah, I guess so.

For, you know, your starter, your main, and then your dessert, your jelly at the end.

So you're using it for all of the things.

But I guess you'd be cooking the thing, and then it'd be a long time until the jelly was ready, right?

About a day, yeah, about a day, yeah.

In the fridge, and all right, okay, you'd have to be cleaning it out because you don't want you don't want nugget crumbs on your jelly.

I've always said that.

Um,

uh, let's talk about Jason's because this

is madness, yeah, that was good, and this is this is one of the, I think the only one that showed the actual jelly that was made from it, yes, which is important, yeah, so the Irish, the Irish flag jelly boobs.

Yeah.

Which none of us got right at the beginning.

No, so who said Italian?

Someone said Italian.

Yes, Stevie said Italian.

I said it in my mind.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No one got the right boobs until I think Fatia did eventually.

No, it's from a cast of Ashland Bees.

Got lovely boobs.

Lovely set of boobs.

What did he do?

I'm not going to say anything.

I will say it for that.

Yeah, please.

Very nice.

I don't know.

This creaked me out to hell, I'll be be honest.

Because Jason was so happy.

The big grin on his face.

There was no discussion.

The fact that he, it's not like he said to Ashley, I've got to do this prize task.

Have you got any ideas?

And she went.

I'll do a cast of my boobs.

So do you think he actually asked?

I think in the show,

it suggests that he messaged Ashley and said,

will you do a cast of your boobs?

And to be fair to her, she said yes immediately.

There you go.

It didn't really creep me out.

I mean, it was quite good fun.

But the big grin on his face he's so he's so proud of that boobs he seems like a boobs guy like boobs boobs we've had a lot of boobs content from jason right well because every every time he's done a painting task it ends up looking like boobs right yeah yeah i think on a couple of occasions he's he's drawn boobs yeah he's obviously got boobs boobs on the brain's boobs oh i love jason he's brilliant what a guy what a guy it's only one point for you rosie on this occasion

two points for fatia three points for stevie four points for matt and five points for Jason

slash Ashling.

We should give Ashling her credit.

Credit, credit where credit's due, definitely.

And not the only former contestant who appears on this episode, as we're about to discuss.

I think it's pretty self-explanatory.

The best mold would be this.

Does that remind you of anything?

You know, it occurs to me it might be hard to figure out what it is based on that.

So I've got the make of jelly from the mold.

Can we look at that, please?

Yes, that

That is the real jelly.

Italian boobs.

It's not Italian boobs in the end.

Those are Irish boobs.

Irish.

Irish.

When Irish boobs are smiling.

My question for you, Greg, is: whose boobs are those?

Your mum's.

Are you saying that these boobs belong to someone we might know?

Oh.

Oh.

So it's an Irish person.

The cause?

The cause.

I don't even know who that is.

Ashling B.

Zomi Ashling B!

There we go, it's her.

I texted her, I said, this is the task prize.

Would you be willing to get a plaster mold of your boobs done?

She said, absolutely, when and where.

No questions.

Zero.

Zero questions.

Good.

Thanks for bringing Ashling B's jelly tits.

Who's next?

Task one.

Now, of course, you go in and the task is is sellotaped to your back.

But when you find it, place something somewhere surprising.

The thing that makes the taskmaster ask, how did that get there?

The loudest wins.

There is a bonus point for the most surprising answer to that question.

You have a maximum of 30 minutes.

Your time starts now.

And we should say as well, Matt discovers the magic mustache on this as well.

Yes.

And there's a wonderful shot where he's still trying to find the task and he turns around, realizes it's on his back and the moustache is stuck to his forehead.

How did that even happen?

Why is it on his forehead?

Well, I think he says when he finds it, he's like, I don't have to do it.

I can put it wherever I like, can't I?

He's trying to find some weird hack to the mustache task for no reason.

Okay, he really overthought all of his stuff.

He really did, didn't he?

He's been adding rules for himself all over the place.

He's so,

what a guy.

Yeah.

He's such a nice guy.

He's lovely and very good at Taskmaster.

Yeah, very, very good.

Very entertaining.

Now, with this one, I would say...

I don't know how you felt about it.

Really hard, this task.

Really hard.

I didn't think about the process of of how has it got there.

Do you know what I mean?

Stevie did it so well.

Yes.

I did not think that.

I just thought, I'm going to put it in a place that he'll be like, oh, how did that get?

Like, a strange place, something in a strange place.

Yes, but I think that's the difficulty of it, that you want to put something somewhere surprising.

But then how do you, that second bit of like doing it in a surprising way, I think is really, really hard.

Yeah.

So obviously...

I don't know how to do that.

Obviously, when Fatty is shown and it's a croissant on a roof, it's so clear how it's got there that the audience start laughing immediately, and people are just like crying with laughter.

Because we all know Fatia by this point, and we know she can't be asked to do anything.

So, we know exactly when Greg says, I think you walked out there and threw the croissant on the roof.

He's like, Of course that's what she did.

Of course.

Immediately, as well, just picks it up, walks out, chucks it on the roof.

Great.

I mean, yours was at least, I think, I mean, it's the same thing, Brad and Song on a Clock.

Horrendous, yeah.

He does, he does guess pretty quickly that you got up a ladder.

That is a lot higher than it looks, though.

I have to say.

And I am terrified of heights.

So why did I even do that?

Well, this is something else we need to talk about.

Chris tells me you're not terrified of heights, you're terrified of falling off.

It's called something, but I can never remember.

It's the fear of falling.

Yeah.

So heights, like, and I'm fine.

Did he tell you about airplanes?

So you're fine on an airplane.

Fine on an airplane.

The getting from the top step onto the airplane.

I have to wait there until everyone's on, and then I like run across.

Because I think that it's going to just go

and fall beneath my feet.

So that must have been terrifying for you to be able to sweat.

I was sweating.

Yeah, because it really doesn't look that high when we're watching it.

Yeah.

And then obviously you're having to balance to hang a bra and a thong on the clock.

A really old bra as well, by the way.

That was like a monkey old bra that I'd brought with us.

And I was just like, why have I done this?

Did you just leave it there as well?

No, I took it.

I mean, I took it all.

I took it.

I've wanted it.

I've not checked, but I'm pretty sure it's not still there.

That would be a lovely addition to future series, wouldn't it?

If a little Easter egg of Rosie's bra and song still

hung on the clock.

Were there any other versions of this that you thought about?

Was there any other ideas that you went through before you got to the bra and song on the clock?

I don't think so.

That was the first thought?

That was the first thought.

That was the time when I did go with my first thought.

Yeah.

And probably shouldn't have.

It's really tricky because...

The ones where and I think I was listening to Jason when he said this and I totally agree the ones where you're given more time to do it, I found harder.

Yes.

Because you're just sort of like, well, what?

Well, what?

And why?

But I think some people really excel in those.

It's when it has to be creative, and you've got loads of time.

I was like, well, this is awful because this is like close to our jobs, like coming up to something creative.

So people are going to be judging

us in the rest of our careers rather than just get this egg in a bucket or whatever.

Which is not my job.

Yep.

No.

You know.

It's near the mind.

And I get low blood sugar.

I think that was before lunch.

Yeah.

i don't know genuinely i swear i can tell the tasks where it's like i haven't ate for three hours so that that's interesting so you could go back watch the whole series and go i was hungry yeah i was hungry yeah that's why i did so bad i swear to god so you the is it that then the ideas aren't as good because your brain needs food or is it that you're rushing through it a bit as well just so you can get

a bit of both

yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah i mean there's not much more to say about fatty is either to be honest she did just walk outside throw across a mine That was fantastic.

How many points did she get for that?

Oh, she got one point.

Of course, she got one point.

I know, but it was so funny.

Because it was funny, but it has to be surprising.

And Greg described to the letter exactly what Fatty's did before we saw it.

Yeah.

And she didn't even get the, she had to try seven times to get the croissant.

Oh, yeah.

And then

a crowder got it, yeah.

Stole it.

Yeah.

Funny, though.

Bit more surprising from Matt,

who puts a sofa in the garden.

And he was inside the cushion.

He was inside the cushion.

But Greg made the point, and I agree with him, that what we saw was the sofa.

Greg said, I think Matt used all of his surplus energy and just manic personality to push a sofa out into the garden.

And that's why that's there.

And that's true.

And yeah, I mean, he was hidden inside, which is...

Yeah, but that's not what we saw.

That's not what we're going, how did that get there?

Because we didn't even see that that was there.

He should have done it as him.

Like, how did he get there?

Rather than the sort of thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, because I think we were looking at the wrong thing, right?

So it should have been how did he argue that in the studio.

I mean, it is just a tricky task.

I mean, it's lovely for the reveal of him being described as disguised as the sofa cookie, but yeah, it's a hard one.

Bit more promising from Stevie.

I thought this was really good.

That was really good.

The tiny little basket in Alex's mouth, tiny French breads.

And I didn't, even though you look back at it and you can see just the way Alex's face is that he's clearly not stood up.

But at the time, I had no idea.

I know, I didn't when I watched it.

She's got a creative brain.

She does, yeah.

You can tell she kind of thinks outside the box.

Yeah.

And she didn't, and yeah, that was very her personality.

I thought that task was and she did it really well.

Yeah, winching it down, looking like she's winching it down from the statue.

Yeah.

And then to see they've rebuilt the room in the in the little dome was very, very clever.

That's good.

And I think that's the way to execute this task

is,

you know, it's not necessarily you're not going, how did that get there because you know it's i think greg knew it had gone into his mouth via some sort of line but the fact that that there was that big twist to it was was very very smart um but jason gets the five points the banana skin in the cupboard obviously everyone's thinking he's just throwing a banana skin in the cupboard that's if it had been fattier yeah

we would have known

But there is that worry.

What's Jason done?

And we see Jason walking through the corridor.

Then he finds himself in the cupboard eating the banana.

Why was he naked?

I don't know.

Why did he choose to be naked?

Was it supposed to be like a sort of hostage situation?

I don't know.

He wasn't banned, he wasn't like tied up or anything.

He was just in the cupboard naked, eating a banana.

Well, it's good that another man has exposed himself on this series so far.

Yeah.

Because we've seen a lot of Matt's nuts.

Oh my god.

Some of you are going to mention that.

Yeah.

Of course.

We've not talked about anything else.

He was mortified, you know.

He was so embarrassed.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was devastated, but it was just so funny.

Because that was a few episodes ago now that

we first saw the reveal of the Scroats.

And now

they've made a reappearance.

Why did he wear that?

They're so short.

Why did he say yes to those?

You know what I mean?

Well, I think production bought them for him, right?

So he came up with the idea for the costume.

Then he turned up on day one and they were like, there's your shorts.

Right, right.

Okay, so then he, so he didn't get to try them first.

Yeah.

Just his balls all over the television.

But if that's me, I reckon day one of filming i'm popping them on i'm doing some stretches yeah i'm wriggling around a bit i'm seeing what pops free he just didn't even check he didn't even check he didn't even check because i'm sure it'll be fine i'm sure at no point i'll be crawling around or splaying my legs on the lawn and he thought in an actor brain he's like well they'll just they'll never show that they won't show that

they'll look after me won't they

welcome to the taskmaster matthew

uh but jason finds himself eating the banana in the cupboard and then he turns around who we think is him and it turns out to be Nish.

That was brilliant.

That was very good.

I was so excited because I was pretty sure that they'd find a way to get Nish in because there's a historic thing of them looking the same.

Yeah.

They've been to a fancy dress party, dressed as each other.

Both very easy costumes, by the way.

Well,

that's Jason's just life uniform.

He's literally Horma Simpson.

Always wears the same outfit.

Wears the same outfit every day.

I couldn't believe it when I heard that.

Yeah.

So you can, if you're looking closely, you can tell it's not him before it's revealed to be Nish because he's not wearing really nice red wing boots.

He's wearing Nish's chewed-up old traders.

Oh, God.

Let it slide.

But yeah, they grade Nish up as well.

They put loads of grey stuff in his head.

They do look very similar.

They do look really similar.

And they have quite similar energies as well.

Sometimes Jason does something on the series and I'm like, that's what Nish would do.

Right, okay.

Just so over the top.

And the way that Nish just says Nish Nish and Jason just says Jason.

I'm like, yep, they're very similar men as well.

Oh, I love that.

But huge.

It's out for him that he's found someone who looks like him and is very similar.

Nice, isn't it?

I would quite like that.

Yeah.

Would you like that?

I don't know.

I think within comedy, there's probably already enough men who look like me and have the same personality.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

So, yeah.

I think that's the issue.

I think I'd like less.

That's how you get work.

Yeah, exactly.

Get more work if you

get rid of some of these whiteys.

But I think the fans are going to go wild for that, Rosie.

Oh, I think that, yeah.

Reddit's going to pop off.

What?

That Nish is in it.

Oh,

will they love him?

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Love a bit of power.

Well, that's true.

Why did they put them both in the same episode?

Yeah, interesting.

Do you know what I mean?

I thought they would have spaced them out a little bit.

Ashling's boobs and Nish's face.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It is nice.

I love a nod.

You love a nod?

I love a nod to

pass things.

But you never involved Chris in any of these.

I mean, we've still got an episode to go.

Did I not?

Do not mention them.

Obviously, not in the filmed tasks because, I guess, childcare, but

of course, you brought in your wedding photo.

Oh, yes.

Has that been already?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was nice.

It's not a nice photo of him, though.

No, it's terrible.

Yeah, he got really, really drunk.

It's a real bone of contention in our marriage.

So he's hammered.

Yeah, the wedding day was horrendous.

He was absolutely...

The speeches were disgusting.

It was awful.

I can't watch the video back.

It was really bad.

He got so drunk.

But he's a nice drunk, though.

He's not horrible.

Sure, yeah, yeah, of course he's irritating.

Yeah, but if you're getting drunk before the photos, that's a bad idea.

Well, because I wanted them all to be natural.

I didn't like, I don't like the sort of everybody get with your mom and now with your nanny.

I hate that.

So I just wanted the photographer to go around.

And then I said to her, I was like, you know, about half nine when the sky's beautiful, can we just like go off somewhere?

And do you not know the story about.

Oh, you're right.

So we went into this, there was like a foresty bit, and that's where we got those photos taken.

Chris got

like

a half erection while we were getting our photos taken.

I'm not even joking.

Literally.

So he couldn't stand in front because he was so drunk.

It was that tunnel where

he just loves romance, right?

Literally, he was like, I can't go in front.

And I was like, wow, he's like.

I got a semi.

Yeah.

I mean, this was years ago, to be fair.

I don't think it would happen now.

But

it was horrendous.

So that was them.

That was outstanding.

The photo with his eyes half shut, his dick's half up.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What an awful thing to be afflicted by, that to get a full erection, you have to have your eyes shut.

You should think it's horrible.

I just go half and half every time.

Outstanding, Rosie.

Outstanding.

Don't worry.

I mean, you've had your right of reply.

You've absolutely nailed him to the fucking wall of his leprosy.

Was he really horrible about it?

No, not at at all.

No, no, no.

Everything, everything he said,

you've confirmed.

That's fair enough.

So it was five points for Jason.

I think it's got to be.

I don't think Nish has seen the moment where his video has played in yet.

I don't know how I feel about when it comes back to the studio and Greg says,

You've got different sensibilities though, Jason, because Nish has been on this show.

And he looked right down the camera and went, and he was pathetic.

So dismissive.

Oh, no.

Five points and the bonus point for Jason.

Four points for Stevie.

Three points for Matt.

Two points for you, Rosie.

And one point for Fatia.

Right.

Let's go.

Fatia.

I'm very fond of you, but I knew you'd lob that croissant on that roof.

One point for Fatia.

One point.

I was mildly more intrigued by Rosie.

Rosie would be right at the top if I were allowed to accept bribes, but I can't.

Okay, two for you.

Hmm.

There's a bit of ambiguity about Matthews, I think.

I knew how that sofa and those cushions got there,

but I didn't expect him to be hiding in the cushions.

So, he did put something somewhere supply, so I must reward that to some extent.

So, I'll give him three points.

Three team, Matthew.

And we bounce up.

Obviously, Stevie's was a masterpiece.

So much going on there.

But I was so genuinely shocked by Kumar's arrival.

I have to reward our American friend with five points.

There we go.

Five points to Jason.

Let's move on to task two: Create the most exciting new bodies so that you and Alex become a dynamic duo.

You must then do something dynamic together for no more than a minute.

Most dynamic duo wins.

You have 30 minutes.

Your time starts now.

Another creative one with a lot of time to think about it.

Too much time.

Question.

What does dynamic mean?

Just

explain me to.

I think movement.

Something where you're moving your body or something exciting or just...

I think dynamism is just movement.

I think yours was definitely dynamic.

Yeah, yeah, I had to Google it.

Yeah.

Because I was just like, what does this even mean?

I think when you first read it, I think it's good to double check, right?

Yeah.

Because you don't want to be in that situation in the studio where they're going, why have you done this?

You're because I didn't know what dynamic was.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry.

No, I thought my interpretation of it would be movement.

I think everyone did do something dynamic.

And Rosie, I thought yours was absolutely brilliant.

I can't believe it only got three points.

I know, but, okay, so what it was was, I was quite proud of it.

I thought it was good.

yeah i it was a really hard because everybody else did so well well stevie and matthew yes did really well yeah i preferred yours to stevie's i don't know i don't want to be that guy i think stevie's amazing but i thought yours had a lot of character and i thought you performed it very well and you sort of gave a backstory in those initial couple of lines and i thought it was quite touching thank you and then the dance and then straight into the little jig yeah

like an irish jigo and all the way yeah i enjoyed it and that's dynamism.

And it reminded me of the Janet and Alan Arberg Funny Bones series, the kids.

Yes.

I love that book.

This is a lovely bit of nostalgia.

It's very long.

If you do have children,

don't buy that book.

It's a long book.

It's so long.

If you've got to read that before your kids go to bed, oh my God.

So you're looking for a book that takes under nine minutes.

You can do it while the nuggets are cooking.

Do you think I'm a scumbag?

But yes.

No, I don't.

I just, do I remember it being long, I guess so.

Yeah, yeah, it is long.

When you're reading to a kid at night time, it's long.

Yeah, yeah, because you want to be shorter, yeah.

I guess.

Well, look, I don't have kids, but I guess you want a book you can read from beginning to end.

Oh my god,

I skip pages.

I swear to God, I skip pages, especially like the superhero ones.

If it's about Spider-Man or whatever,

my riff, four years old, has no idea.

Yeah, so I skip three pages at a time.

Yeah, and I just make it up as I go along.

Do you think of that, Daisy?

Daisy's nodding.

Yeah, I'm not reading 19 19 pages of a book before bed.

But I guess so, but I guess you can't go, well, we'll leave the story there.

No, never.

No, God, no, no.

What happens in films does not happen in real life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

There's no, there's no good night, turn the light off.

Yeah, that doesn't exist.

It's lie with me, lie with me, and touch my hair until I go to sleep.

It's okay.

Yeah, until it's the end.

I will.

Every day for the rest of my life.

Yeah.

But I think my dad read The Hobbit to me, and then we weren't reading that in a night.

How old were you?

22.

I guess I'd learned patience by then.

No, I thought it was fantastic, Rosie, honestly.

I mean you still got you still got three points.

Three's decent.

Yeah, but that was the same as Jason's, which was great, but it was insanity.

I loved it.

Yeah, really funny.

Monster made of leaf blowers and pipes.

Captain Drum and Pipe Beast.

Is that what they were called?

Yeah, Captain Drum and Peast.

Do you know what I enjoyed about that more?

Alex enjoyed that.

Yeah, you could tell on his little face.

I think he had a really nice time.

I like it when he has a nice time.

Yeah.

Do you know that?

When I've watched Pasteur, I like it when he's having a nice time.

I don't like it when he's not.

Everyone picks on him a lot.

I don't really like it.

I don't, everyone loves it, but I don't.

I feel a bit sorry for him.

He's a lovely guy.

He's a nice guy.

He's a very clever man as well.

But I'd say...

I'd say you might enjoy him having a nice time because it only happens occasionally.

Yes.

Yes.

I think if he's having a nice time all the time, it would be awesome.

Well, what would be the point?

But he just he looked secretly like he really enjoyed it.

Yeah, there's been that moment, and then I thought Fatiha's when Fatia taught him how to do Moroccan dancing, he really enjoyed that as well.

He enjoyed that, and that was a lovely moment.

That was really nice, yeah.

You don't pick on Alex too much in it, do you?

I know, I like him, yeah, and honestly, the mother in his feels a bit sorry for him.

Yeah,

I do, I feel a bit sorry for him, but he had a lovely old time being pipe beast.

Um, and this was a different interpretation of dynamics, it's dynamics within music.

So,

the soft sounds to the loud sounds.

Is that what he was going for?

I think so.

I think they said that, but also, he kept screaming, These are not our original bodies.

So, it sort of was a bit masked by him.

Yeah, I love him so much.

It was great, though.

It was really, really good.

Um, Fatia only got two points, and I think Greg felt sorry for her at this point.

Do you know what?

It wasn't that bad.

No, I didn't think it was that bad.

I thought it was interesting.

They were dressed as big eggs, but they were wrestlers called hijab and raging horn.

Brilliant.

Which was Alex's wrestling name in the comedy wrestling thing that we did for Comic Relief.

Was it now?

He was a Viking-themed wrestler called The Raging Horn.

Amazing.

Oh my god, I've got a question for you.

Go on.

You're Charlie doing wrestling.

Yeah, yeah.

That's amazing.

Yeah,

she trains at a wrestling school and helps organise events for them as well.

But she had her first match the other day.

Your wife's a wrestler?

Pretty cool, right?

Are you literally...

That is like that amazing.

Yeah, she and well, at the moment, she's on tour with a band, playing in a band, and she's in Sheffield.

And she popped along to a wrestling school and did some some training with them.

She was pretty doomed.

Pretty good.

What's her wrestling name?

Well, she sort of

had to come up with it quickly for a match, but it's just at the moment it's Charlie James, which is, I don't think she wants it to be that, but that's just like a version of her name.

Workshop it with her.

Yeah.

Originally, she wanted to be called Dot Rotten.

But apparently, that's a Grime MC as well, so she couldn't do that.

I think Dot Rotten's quite a good name.

Dot Rotten's good.

Yeah.

I only know like drag queen names.

It's not dissimilar.

Tammy Pax.

Tammy Pax.

That would be a good wrestling name.

What other drag queen names do you is?

Is Tammy Pax an existing drag queen?

Maybe.

It's when I went to.

Have you ever been to

Gran Canaria?

No.

Me and my friend went to Mass Palomas in Grand Panaria.

Grand Canaria when I was 19.

Had no idea it was like gay, gay capital

of Europe.

Amazing.

Had the best week of my life.

And there was loads of drag queens there.

And we, oh god, it was really sad.

We bought them presents when we left.

Well, that's amazing.

That's so amazing.

I really fell in love with this with these drag queens.

And Tammy Pax was one of them.

I can't remember the rest of them.

But Tammy Pax, so it is.

Somebody's got it, but Tammy Pax is a great one.

Tammy Pax is good.

Or she could do the whole

your pet's name and your

mother's maiden name.

I take a porn star name.

But it would be the same for us.

My cat is called Pig, though, so I don't know if she'd be wild about it.

Pig, what?

What's her mother's maiden name?

Schultz.

Pig pig schultz that's actually really good that's really good pig shilt

pig sheltered

there you go if you're listening charlie it's not a bad idea i know you're not listening you avoid my work at all costs um

yep rightly so but yes the egg the egg wrestlers uh fantastic i i i really enjoyed it and i think sometimes it's just i just don't think fatia likes putting too much of herself into things.

Or she's very funny.

She's brilliant at the show.

I think she's amazing.

But when I think it took a lot for her to come up with that idea and get those things made and then do the acting and the performance and stuff.

I think that's why I liked it.

Put her out of her comfort zone.

Yeah, it did.

And you could tell.

And she actually seemed to enjoy it, which I thought was good.

Yeah, I thought it was great fun.

Now, I did like Stevie's, even though I preferred yours, Rosie.

This was a very Stevie idea.

I thought this is within Stevie's comfort zone doing something like this.

I think she's very good at these creative things,

being the tiny little jousting knights.

She had the whole backstory about Alex killing Stevie's son.

I thought, and the hands as a bodies.

It was very interesting.

I really liked it.

They left it out of the edit, but in the studio, we talked at length at the size of our nostrils.

They left it fully out of the edit, but it was a hilarious chat.

Yeah.

Because it was the first time she'd really realised that she's got really big flares, like when she flares her nostrils.

And it was just the camera was just literally there.

But I think it added to like the drama of it.

I think so.

And I think if you've got those tiny little bodies as well, your nostrils are going to look bigger, but then you flare and you realise quite quite how big they are.

Yeah.

Well, shout out.

You know, people do tasks, the taskmaster and realise things about themselves.

I've realized a lot of things, but there's something which I saw which I already knew existed, but it was terrible.

I don't know if Chris mentioned it.

Go on.

So I've got a Twitch, right?

Chris didn't mention that.

Did he not?

No, no.

I'm surprised he didn't mention mention it because the first ever date that we went on, I told Chris I had a Twitch and he didn't concentrate for the full date because he was just trying to figure out what my Twitch was.

But it only comes out when I'm nervous.

Right.

And what I've noticed is when I'm in control, and so on our TV show, it didn't appear because I was too busy sort of thinking about stuff.

When I'm just sat there listening to other people talk, my Twitch is kicking off.

I do not see it.

No.

I'll be going back and watching it though.

Well, it's just all the time.

I'm just so it's my mouth.

I kind of go like that.

And then I move my arms all the time.

So there's a lot of this.

But that's not, you're not in control of that at all.

Well, I kind of am, but I can't help it.

I have to do it.

It's just a habit.

It's like a nervous habit.

And I know I've done it in my kickoff a bit.

How many times do you have to do it?

13 or?

No, not 13.

Dan, sorry.

No, I didn't notice the Twitch.

No.

Oh, that's good because I can't stop watching it.

And my best friend told me that she spotted it as well.

So I was like, thank you.

No, we love the jousting nights.

uh, but let's talk about Matthew Bainton's butterfly caterpillars situation.

Already good with the caterpillars, a great idea, crawling towards the lettuce, eating the lettuce.

I think Alex had a good time in this as well.

He did, he did, he loved it.

I think he did.

And then the transformation into butterflies, and then them flying around just the time.

It was stunning, wasn't it?

It was really nice.

I hated that their eyelashes weren't glued on properly.

That was upsetting.

Did you notice that?

No, I didn't.

That was a good idea.

I think we noticed very different things, Ross.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I spotted it.

But all in all, great.

Still scored by the camel toe.

Well, I mean, I hate to go straight onto the camel toe, but.

That was his balls, wasn't it?

Yeah, but

where was his penis?

I don't know.

I didn't want to ask.

Because I couldn't work out what...

Was it like the seam of the seam of the morph suit, maybe?

I think there was a little gap, so his penis has dropped down into like his stomach, hollow bits.

It's got into his stomach.

like just didn't drop down and then I think that his balls have been stretched and kind of gone in between yeah and it's the and you know with balls where how you've got the actual like testicle which is quite ovally and small sure I think it's been so tight that it's just you can see them rather than the actual skin of the sac.

So it's like that is the actual nuts.

Yes, that's right.

They're stretched over with the seam of them all.

Yeah.

I mean it was yeah it was horrific.

It was awful.

And I like that he brought it up as well because I don't think we would have noticed because I'm not looking there straight away.

I did.

You noticed.

Well, I think, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So he did it as a defence mechanism, basically, to make sure that you didn't get in the middle of the day.

And they left it in.

Yeah.

Because they could have edited it out, to be fair, couldn't they?

No, because then he was full of the internet would have gone mad for it.

Zoomed in right on his nuts.

And also, I think Matthew even said it's nice to not be the only one.

I think it was almost solidarity from Alex being like, me too.

Let's talk about my nuts now a bit as well.

But yeah, it was gross.

it was two points for Fatia, three points for Rosie, three points for Jason, four points for Stevie, and five points for Matthew.

Oh, man, oh, what a beautiful take on the word dynamic.

And it's the first time, and I'm new to this phrase, and first time I've had a camel toe.

Oh, my,

I know, I don't know what happened,

I know.

I don't know what it is.

I don't know what it is.

You look like you've got a big chubby fanny.

I'm just glad we're talking about somebody else's board.

Task three.

Blind me.

This is a long one to read.

Bear with me.

Conquer the multitask.

You must complete every task in every room you enter.

Fastest wins, your time starts now.

now either have a snack in the kitchen or lie down in the hutch

if you go into the kitchen clean up this mess then either have a lie down in the hutch or finish a drink in the caravan then you go to the caravan become this person then it was a changing picture all the time with different outfits if you have eaten the snack then you must wear the snack sign for the rest of the task wander into the living room or rummage in the shed in the shed give patatas the elixir you must use the baby bottle to administer the elixir Then you have conquered the multitask.

And in the hutch, reconstruct the Taskmaster house.

Now either brush your teeth in the lab or have a snack in the kitchen and in the lab it says fold up the map either rummage in the shed or dance in the dome

these multitask ones are amazing we had one on our series had a couple on like that on our series but they are if you pick the wrong order and you go on the wrong journey they are so frustrating weirdly though i enjoy these more than the creative ones yeah because there's something to achieve and something to do yeah it's and i just kind of like someone telling me what to do rather than having to...

Because like you said before, that's part of our job all the time is creating things.

So sometimes when someone says, go here and do that and look for it, you're like, oh, yeah, okay, I will.

Rather than me having to sit down going, what will I do next?

So I quite enjoyed this.

It took ages, like, but.

You took a while.

I mean, you didn't take the longest, to be fair,

but you took quite a long time.

You took the 30 minutes.

You ended up going to 13 different rooms.

A couple of mistakes along the way, would it be fair to say?

How did I not see that map on the road?

how did that how how it's such a cruel shot as well because you're like

it's you in frame and then the rest of the frame is the map and you're right in front of it i thought they'd put that in post i was like they have added that map on that wall because that was not there that was not there looking right down the camera going what map

I haven't seen a map.

There's no map.

There's no map.

And then when you go back in there,

when you notice the map, you're like, was that in here the last time?

And Alex fine.

I think, surely not.

You probably would have noticed it, wouldn't you?

He really, he loved that.

Yeah, he loved that, didn't he?

Absolutely loved it.

There is, of course, the mistake of going, I'm going to go, of going back to the shed, and

you go to the hutch.

Oh, sorry.

It's a number two caravan.

Why is it called a hutch?

Well, because I guess it's shaped like I know what you mean.

Hutches are where rabbits and animals live.

Yeah.

That is not a hutch.

I guess it's shaped like that, but

it's an easy mistake to make.

Yeah, thank you.

I mean, like, Stevie, I think in the first husk of the whole show, when it was on, didn't go to the lab.

She went into the living room.

Yeah.

And we since found out that was not the first time she'd been in the lab.

And she's watched the show.

She's watched the show.

And you get a tour.

I mean, you get a guided tour from one of the Andes.

That's what I mean.

I was going to say, there would have been a moment where Andy C probably took you around and showed you everything and said, this is the caravan, this is the shed, this is the hut.

This is the hutch.

And by that point, you've shut down it.

Yeah, just excitement took over.

Why would I listen?

That's just, you know, this is the grass.

The grass does need cutting, by the way, yeah, it does, yeah.

Well, I don't know, maybe they're going for the wild, the wild look.

It's not too bad, actually.

They are in season at the moment.

They are filming.

Not right now,

because

now and again, if people watch the video of this and there's something going on in the background, they get very excited, Rosie.

Oh, really?

Yeah, they get very excited.

Oh, I love that.

I'd love to be like passionate about it.

I've got nothing that I'm that passionate about.

Come on you must do no nothing no do you do you like do you love something that my whole job my whole job is things that i'm passionate about okay tell me that's why i'm hosting a taskmaster podcast for a start because you're passionate about taskmasters yeah that's why i host a traitors a traitor's uh visualized podcast hears me thinking that you're just getting paid for all these things i am but this is but but most most of my jobs are because i talk about stuff that i'm excited about and they go okay let's pay them to talk about it fair enough actually i love real housewives why aren't you doing a real housewives podcast because nobody's asked us ed actually.

You should start doing it.

They have just done a London one, actually.

Have they?

Yeah, but they'll get to do it.

It's not as good, though.

The London one's not as good, sure.

I don't know, you know.

Yeah.

They used to do Ladies of London, which was really good.

And one of the people who was in that is in that.

I'll tell you who else loves Real Housewives.

Who?

Bob Mortimer.

No.

He does.

Does he actually?

Every time I've seen Bob, he wants to talk to me about Real Housewives at Beverly Hills.

Shut up.

Yeah, he loves it.

There's loads of massive air-list American male celebrities who love it as well.

wow yeah it was great

i mean

beverly hills is more my speed so if you do the podcast i'll come on to chat about beverly hills okay do you so you watch it you watch it i'm sort of out of the loop now but lockdown was like beverly hills i've watched beginning to end oh it's brilliant yeah i just love them all and i've met lisa van der Pump

shut up I have I've interviewed Lisa Vanderpump.

Shut up.

Oh, what for?

I did a show many years ago called Almost Royal where me and Amy Hoggett travelled around America filming a fake documentary

pretending to be members of the Royal Family Right.

And we interviewed Lisa Vanderpump.

She was one of only two people to call us out and say we weren't in the Royal Family.

I was going to say she would gnaw.

Yeah, she was going, because we obviously were taking the piss.

She's going, you're not in the Royal Family.

She was like, I know El Spencer, I'm going to call him now.

What was she like?

Was she nice?

No, she's terrifying.

Oh, yeah.

Like formidable.

Yeah.

But it was a while ago.

It was when that...

that dog was still alive.

Oh, what was that dog?

Was it Jiggy?

Jiggy?

Jiggy, yeah.

So Jiggy was there, yeah.

I've got a bottle of Vanderpump Rosé from the garage.

I haven't drank it yet.

I've like kept it for like, and now it's about a seven-year-old.

Can you do rose seven years later?

I don't know.

Matt, it depends how you've stored it.

I don't imagine it'll be

it's probably not tasty anyway.

Um, but you know, may as well keep hold of it just in case it becomes a collectible.

You never know, you never know, but no, I love real.

Okay, so yeah, I'm passionate about real housewives.

There you go.

I had to have a passion.

Matt Ford, you know, Matt Ford?

He was a few years ago, he was out at a restaurant having a nice time and started chatting to the table next to him and they all really got on and they ended up spending the whole night hanging out together.

It was PK and Dorrit.

Fuck my life.

And they came to a show and they became friends.

Sure.

Yeah.

This is just what dreams I'm in.

This is like, I swear to God.

God.

Do you know what's embarrassing though?

It's like one of them people that,

you know, when you message them on it, I don't message famous people at all.

But like the real housewives, I kind of comment on stuff.

And oh my gosh, he has another little story.

So, Jesse J, my friend owns a bar in Newcastle called Pilgrim, and he's getting loads of really good acts on.

He's getting Jesse J's coming, right?

And me, my friends, are like, we need to go.

But I'm so embarrassed.

I was like, I don't, I can't meet her because she doesn't know who I am.

But if she ever goes on my Instagram, I have messaged her

so much.

I'm literally mortified because she'd be like,

in a million years, she wouldn't.

But if she ever went to message me, she'd be like, oh,

oh, do you know what I mean?

You can go back and delete them, surely.

I'm gonna have to try because I want to get there.

What sort of things do you say to her?

Just like, oh my, amazing, Jesse,

like, this is so great.

If you meet her, oh, she's like, oh, yeah, Rose is good fun.

I'll follow her on Instagram.

I'm just going to say nice to meet you at night.

Oh, my God.

Look that top.

Yeah, I'm going to have to go back and delete it, aren't I?

Amazing.

Yeah, I mean, this task was just chaos, to be honest with you.

And very frustrating if you do it in the wrong order.

Fatia, again, is rewarded for doing things as quickly and as straightforwardly as possible.

It's happened a few times as series.

We had it in the, when you had to overlook

the thing and everyone was dressed in costumes, the box to find the thing in the box, and it was written on the bench.

You don't remember.

I don't remember.

I've described it back.

Oh, my God.

Oh, in the...

It was a location task.

Yes.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the bear, with the bear

with the mosque card.

Yeah, she did very well at that one.

And this is similar.

She starts in the kitchen, goes to the caravan, doesn't drink the elixir, which is the right thing to do, pops the outfit on, heads to the shed.

She's got the code.

Very good.

Six minutes, 14.

Jason, similarly, does very well, but he has to get changed again.

He loved it.

Yeah.

You found the code.

You were very happy with finding the code on the biscuit.

Very unlike me.

I found that really quick.

I was really, really tough with that.

And so proud of yourself when you found it.

I know, because that's something that I would just overlap the map.

I don't look for things.

So when I saw it, I was like, this means something.

What is it?

Which is why I was very surprised that Matt didn't.

Oh, twice.

Yeah.

Twice?

Ate that cookie.

Ate the cookie.

So funny.

Twice built the cookie.

Yeah, sorry.

Yeah, it was.

Sorry.

He ate the cookie twice.

Yeah, yeah, the cookie twice.

And then he built the house twice and totally missed it.

Yeah.

God, and he's so clever.

He really let himself down on this task, actually, because he's really bright.

He was going for speed.

Right.

And then, yeah, I think was so excited to get the task done that it took him 51 minutes.

And he broke the safe, didn't he?

He broke the safe because he tried so many combinations.

It's when he finds the combination on the house, then comes back and goes, oh, this is where I put this in, and tries to remember it and gets it wrong.

I was really surprised at that.

Yeah, it was odd.

It's not his normal thing, but I'm very glad.

It's lovely when people who are good at the show fail miserably.

I love it.

I loved it.

I loved it.

Absolutely.

And

he's the kind of character where I don't think he took it that seriously when he was doing it, but in the studio.

Yeah.

I think underneath.

Once he knew he had a chance.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But when he, I know, when we're talking about past Tassia, sorry, when he gave Stevie that point.

Yeah.

So at the time, I think he did it.

When we got back to the seat, I had his life.

I was like, you fucked it.

You, mate.

That point, if it comes down to one point, I was like, you've lost the show.

And you can see someone's face drop.

And he was like,

oh, yeah.

He did it because he's a lovely man.

Yeah.

And he did it out of kindness.

But I was like, that's going to come back and bite you on the bottom.

I wouldn't have done that.

I wouldn't have done that in a million years.

Unless if I was really losing.

Yeah.

I'd have been like, oh, I have my points.

Yeah.

I'm never going to win.

Yeah, it's no good to me.

No, I wouldn't have done that.

Stevie, complete chaos again.

She gets 13 rooms, 23 minutes.

I think what I really liked about this task was imagining...

the crew rushing around like mad people every time someone left the room to reset it for them going back.

Oh yeah.

You don't think about that when you're doing it.

Did you have you didn't have a sense of that happening when you were

doing it?

No, because obviously, like, if you put an outfit on in here, then come out.

The next thing they're doing is running in, putting another picture in, putting another outfit on

the drink at all.

They're so good at it.

Tell you what, did upset me.

Go on.

But it's upset me the whole way through.

And I don't know whether this is just

being a mom again.

You know when Jason wrecks everything?

Yeah.

When he emptied that shed, all I thought was, someone's going to have to pick all that up.

And

automatically, I just felt sorry for whoever had to tidy that up.

Yeah.

Because you know, someone stood behind going,

I've got to do all of that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, last week, of course, we had your look when you walked in to the lab of snapping your head back and forth and looking at everything in the lab.

What was that?

And you were called out as

saying that you were like a mum walking into a messy kid's room.

Oh, yeah.

Being like, what's happened here?

And we spoke to Chris last week, of course, and he said, yeah, it's because there were loads of colours in there.

Right.

She would have been surprised by how many colours were in there and wanted to look at them all at the same time.

So, like a dog.

That is the worst thing he's ever.

He said that.

Yeah, he said it's because of all the colours.

Wow.

All right.

Okay.

I remember that.

This is great.

I think I'm just.

I haven't seen him prop.

Like, we haven't spoke about it today.

I have seen him.

I just, we haven't spoke about it in depth.

So I will

in future, for the future of this podcast, the only two guests I'm going to have on are you and Chris.

Just every other week.

And I'm I'm going to start so many arguments for you to get up.

Do it.

Yeah.

Do it.

We're ready for it.

And then you can talk about that on your podcast that it'll just be

content.

It's just a whole podcast world.

It was one point for Matt with his 51 minutes.

It was two points for you, Rosie.

We haven't deliberately got you in for an episode you did very badly.

This is the worst.

This is one of my worst episodes ever.

Three points for Stevie, four points for Jason, and a very well-deserved five points for Fatia.

Hopping off to the hutch for a little lie-down.

2851.

2851.

2851.

2851.

2851.

I've broken the safe.

You've been locked out.

Four minutes, we have to wait.

It's amazing how many regrets you can have, isn't it?

I've done the clock, Matthew.

It was bad luck, though.

Did you not think?

That's what I felt throughout.

Bad luck?

I just thought he was really unlucky that he missed things.

Well, I mean, you say that.

He went into 32 rooms again.

Sorry, I take it back.

The man's an idiot.

Ah, you'll be all right.

Yeah.

Don't say it like that, though, because it seemed over-defensive, that did.

Oh, yeah, no, I'm fine.

Whatever.

Well, I fucking am.

Let's talk live task, which is a team task.

Sorry, I just remember something you do in this that made me scream.

Say a word that fits into the category given by the taskmaster, then press your button and the time will pass to another team.

Team members must take it in turns to say words, and no words may be repeated during the task.

The team that does not run out of time wins.

So it's like speed chess almost, isn't it?

Hard.

Yeah.

This is hard.

Really hard.

A lot of panicking.

I feel because obviously when you're watching it at home, you're like, I've got loads of words.

Of course you are.

Of course you are.

But even in games, you know, we play like games in the car where you have to go around and play this game a lot where you get an actor and you have to say one of their films and you go around.

Yes, and you get one in your head and then the next person does

it.

It's my goat in a minute.

It's my goat.

It's like that.

But what really, really killed me, Rosie, is the fact that you kept trying to go when it wasn't your turn.

And then the second time you went when it wasn't your turn, you pressed the button.

I think it was for five-letter words.

And Alex looks at you and you went,

Rosie?

You're offering it as an answer.

You seem to be affirming that that was your name.

And then also apologising with him because you knew it wasn't your goat.

You went,

He was really upset with me.

I could tell that he was so annoyed because he was just like, I think he was like, this is really good.

This is a really solid live task.

Yeah, yeah.

And you are messing it up by pressing.

Yeah.

Because there was another live task where...

Was it when you had to do an action, but one behind the other action?

Yeah, that was really difficult.

And

you were doing it when it wasn't your turn as well.

And Matthew wasn't very happy with that.

Or he was like, I was like, oh, yeah.

But they are difficult.

And you've got a live audience here as well.

Yeah.

So you've got how many, what is there, like 100 people there?

100 people there sat going,

do a word, bitch.

Like, I know a five-letter word, why don't you?

And you're like, well, I'm up here doing it.

It's fine when you're there.

But it's so much more entertaining that there's someone hitting the button too early and saying Rosie.

Rosie?

Because I didn't know.

You know, then your brain goes to, is my name a word?

Don't you know what I mean?

Is he going to go, that's your name?

I have just remembered.

I mean, that's a great quote.

Is my name a word?

It's true.

Yeah.

But obviously, I've just remembered the ultimate quote for the whole series, Rosie, which was yours.

Are we the monsters?

Are we the monsters?

What a moment that is.

And you had it as a revelation.

Hang on.

Are we the monsters?

I'd slept on that.

Yeah.

Like for nights, like loads of nights.

And I was like, no, we're the monsters.

We should have all drawn ourselves.

We are the monsters.

It's a self-portrait.

But like it was a play or something.

Like it was some educational thing.

It's like, turns out we're the monsters.

Tell you who the real monsters are, human beings.

We're killing this planet.

Yeah.

And it was

everyone's reaction to that.

What?

No.

I know.

Oh, yeah.

And you were the one who had the driving license with the picture.

And was the only one who found it with the clue of.

In my defence, right?

I spoke to this about with Chris, sorry, because we watched it the other night.

Um, that is the worst monster costume I've ever seen in my life.

It's just, it looks like a

jazzy caterpillar.

It's not, that is not a it doesn't scream monsters to me either.

It's like dragon, maybe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, not even dragon.

I was like, this is shit.

So, in my head, I was like, well, that's a lonely pop lady.

Yeah, that is blatant, like, a penguin, very obvious.

Monster, no, we must be the monsters.

So, we are the monsters.

Just the fact you found that driver license, you're like, I think we must be the monsters, actually.

Because

it said on it, I don't know if you could even read it.

It said like, you

or just said monster.

And it was like, because she said, where's your driving license?

Yeah.

So I was like, my, this is my driving license.

I'm the monster.

That's what I'm saying.

You overthought that.

So funny.

I did.

I did.

So funny.

Well, this live task, it was three points to you, Matt, and Fatia, and five points to Jason and Stevie.

A rare win for JV Martzoukis.

Meaning that Jason wins the episode 23 points and trashes the stage again, which you must have been absolutely livid about that.

I just thought he was going to take that.

He's going to tidy that up.

Maybe with a bunch of stuff.

He wrecked a chest of drops.

Yeah.

He broke them.

Smashed it up.

Smashed up that big jelly, that big jelly bowl.

Yeah.

19 points for Stevie, 16 points for Matt, 13 points for Fatia, and last place for you with 11 points.

Terrible.

Terrible.

Not a great episode.

Entertainment-wise, fantastic.

Jason's still in the bottom with 131.

Stevie with 132.

Fatia with 133.

You with 136.

Matt with 154.

Heading into the final episode.

At the moment, it feels like a race for second place is what it feels like.

That's how it feels.

The rest of you so tightly grouped.

Yeah.

And then

Matt nearly 20 points ahead.

But what a series, Rosie, and what a contestant you are.

Thank you so much.

We've absolutely loved having you on the podcast.

Thank you for having me.

We always ask our guests to rate their experience on the podcast between one and five points.

You get to give out the points this time.

Oh, okay.

Feel free to be honest.

You know, you don't have to give us five points out of politeness.

No.

If you've not had a good time, give us one.

I'm going to give you five.

I've had a lovely time.

Thank you, Rosie.

I've cried laughing.

It's been great.

We'll talk about real housewives.

And now I know if I'm going to meet Bob Mortimer on anything, I'm just going to talk about real housewives.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Great.

Well, Chris will be on next week, and then you'll be on the week after.

So I'll see you in a couple of weeks.

Cheers, Rosie.

Thank you.

Thank you so much to Rosie for coming back on the pod.

What a joy.

What a joy it has been to talk about this series to the contestants, to former contestants, and to be in the caravan for the first time.

Very exciting way of doing it.

We have got one more episode left, of course.

It's Taskmaster Series 19, episode 10, the grand finale next week, channel 4, 9 p.m.

on Thursday.

And we will be here chatting to the champ.

Who will that be?

You will have to wait and find out.

We will be talking to them next week in the caravan about their time on Taskmaster and their victory.

But for now, I've been Ned Gamble.

See you next week.

Bye-bye.