Taskmaster The Podcast *Best of TM NZ S2 Part 2*

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here, the host of the Taskmaster podcast, and I bring exciting news.

The new series of Taskmaster is coming soon, which of course means that we will be discussing it in detail on the Taskmaster podcast with special guests from the current series and special guests from series past.

It's series 19 of Taskmaster coming soon to channel 4 with amazing guests.

We've got the brilliant Fatia Elghori, Jason Manzoukas, Matthew Bainton, Rosie Ramsey, and Stevie Martin.

And the most exciting news of all, we are now recording the Taskmaster podcast in the caravan.

The actual Taskmaster Caravan.

I'm coming here every time we record a podcast, even though when it gets warm, It's essentially like sitting in a pizza oven.

But this is how I suffer for my art.

Join us on the Taskmaster podcast straight after new episodes of Taskmaster on channel 4, 9 p.m.

every Thursday, coming soon.

Welcome, Mel, to the Taskmaster podcast.

What a pleasure.

It's truly a pleasure to have you here.

Of course, always a pleasure to have a Taskmaster champion on the podcast.

Series 4.

If I wasn't on the other side of the world, I would have brought the trophy into frame on the Zoom call just to prove it.

But that would be a commitment.

It was so heavy.

It's like,

I don't know if what your one is made of, but ours,

it's like cement or something.

I had to take it back to Australia and I had to really pretend like I wasn't carrying 12 kgs on Jeremy's head.

Yeah, mine's pretty heavy, I think.

But it's maybe like plaster or something like that.

But yeah, it's

how do people feel in New Zealand that obviously you then had to go back to Australia where you live with the trophy how did that feel that you were taking this out of the New Zealand economy

oh yeah true it's the real brain drain they call it

I I didn't mind it obviously I don't know how other people felt about it I'm sure Ray O'Leary had something to say about it he actually he moved to Maldon and he stayed in my spare room for an obnoxious amount of time and

I had the trophy on his side table just so that he could wake up next to it every morning and feel awful, I guess.

I should say, I've mentioned this to you already, but we're recording morning in the UK, nighttime in New Zealand, and I...

Something went wrong with my alarm, so I've only been awake for about 10 minutes.

So

this feels like a fever dream.

I'm excited about this.

Yeah,

You've got to tell us your dreams.

Tell us your dreams immediately.

You know what?

I don't think I had any dreams.

Is that worrying?

Certainly not any notable ones that I woke up from.

I think it's worrying if you don't have actual dreams in your life.

Yes.

It's fine for not having sleep dreams.

I have no goals.

I have no ambitions.

Don't say that about yourself.

You want to be the best podcast in the world.

It's your dream, right?

Achieved, baby.

Yay!

It was my dream not to do Taskmaster, but to talk about Taskmaster for what is seemingly until the end of time.

You're now in Taskmaster Purgatory, I think.

So anyway, Brittany,

welcome back.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We are, of course, talking about New Zealand Taskmaster Series 2, which I'm not on.

We've already talked to you about being on the show.

We've done that stuff.

But

I take it you know at least some/slash all of the contestants on this series.

As per usual, yes.

The comedy community is small.

We're basically one huge, incestuous family.

So, yeah, I know all the comedians.

I know three of the comedians extremely well.

I know David, Guy, and Laura from doing Snort Improv with them for 10 years.

So, I know them quite in and out.

And then Matt and Ursh, I just know from around the traps.

Colleagues, friends, acquaintances.

One of those.

One of those.

Take your pip.

Three quite different things.

One of those.

Yes, the snort.

We've talked about snort on this podcast before, I think.

Wonderful improv group.

No longer

an active group, I understand.

No,

we did 10 years, 10 long years, and then I think a lot of us were all kind of mid-30s and we were like, doing improv at 10 p.m.

on a Friday?

No, thank you.

So we gracefully stepped away from that, and now we have our lives back.

But also, I think we miss each other sometimes.

Yeah, I like that the only option was to disband the group rather than just do an earlier show.

Yeah, it's late night improvised comedy.

It's got to be cool.

It's got to be young.

I'm not going to, you know, the clientele for a 7 p.m.

improv show is not fun.

That's true.

That's, I mean, then your audience start getting older with you.

Then it has the, you know, it's like tea time improv, and then you have it all, none of it can be rude.

No, no, 2 p.m.

improv at the church.

Well, look, I would pay to see that.

Yeah, so would I, absolutely.

But the church, the church aren't charging.

You just have to stick some sandwiches or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Actually, sounds really nice.

You are, I believe, a real fan of this particular series of Taskmaster?

Yeah,

I think it might be one of the best ever

across all versions of the show.

English language, I can't, I mean, it's so good.

Ed, it's so good.

On, like, the cast are incredible.

The studio banter is amazing.

The tasks are, like, some of the best ever.

And then that's sort of...

They're brought into the UK version because they're so good.

I mean,

it's ludicrous.

It's so good.

And like,

I, I just, I, I feel, I feel like we're blessed.

I feel like this is, it feels like a magic moment of just like all of these people, all of the cast like coming together to create something just wonderful.

I also, I realized that when it came out, it was when my daughter was born.

So like, I feel like maybe I've also got like mushy father brain with it.

So I'm sort of watching it like at the time being like, oh yeah, oh God, I love this bit with the grape.

The grape's so good.

While holding my newborn daughter and watching the show.

So maybe it's that as well.

Well, no, because I think a lot of people love this series and rate it very highly amongst their Taskmaster series, and they can't have all had kids when it came out.

No, because otherwise there'd be a population.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, that would be weird.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then it would suggest that maybe the previous series of Taskmaster New Zealand was a particularly horny one.

Yes.

So everyone's, yeah, and then

the,

yes, you're right.

Maybe, maybe we can track this.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Stat's brain's gone off.

Which is the hornier series of Taskmaster based on the birth rate nine months later.

Based on the population boom.

Look into it, Jack.

Look into it.

It's worth it.

I mean, you've looked into weirder stats.

I have looked into weirder stats.

You're absolutely right.

Hat or no hat was a low point.

Hat or no for hat.

I think we still got quite a lot out of it.

And then, like,

we got a lot of stuff out of it.

You know, Andy went on to win the last series and he wore a hat quite often.

He was wearing a hat.

So yes, actually, you know what?

This isn't a ridiculous idea.

I will look up the birth rate.

Thank you, Ed.

The

horniest series of Taskmaster.

We are, of course, talking about Taskmaster New Zealand series two.

We're a while from talking about your time in Taskmaster New Zealand, which was series four, of course, Ray.

Yes, yes, very much so.

Yes, I know you've studiously avoided bringing up my season on the podcast so far.

So

it's an honor to finally come here and correct that great injustice and

talk extensively about my own time on Taskmaster and maybe eventually get round to season two.

Yeah, we should talk extensively about your time on Taskmaster New Zealand, actually.

When you did the show, were you a fan of the show already?

Had you seen much of the show, either UK or New Zealand?

Yes, I had.

I had seen all of it.

I think I'd seen up to your season.

I think, yes, I think New Zealand definitely made sure to keep the season that had Rose Mutafeo on it legally available.

So I'd seen

most of the UK season and I had also gone and watched the live studio recordings of at least one episode of the previous

New Zealand season.

And I found that to be so, so helpful.

I think I would have been so I know some people like to go in blind and just have no clue what the show is, but I think having seen what other people do,

it actually

opened my field of vision for what could be possible in the show.

What do you think you brought to the series that you wouldn't have done otherwise if you hadn't seen previous episodes?

The moment that really opened my eyes was in a recording I went and watched of season one, and it was Make the Biggest Thing Disappear.

And Brindley Stent

just filmed a short, she did a short film about a cow being replaced by a computer shop.

And

I remember thinking there was nothing in the task about like doing a weird black and white short film.

You know, it was just like she had just done all this extra stuff herself.

And so I think that, knowing you could do stuff like that, like I think I probably wouldn't have, there was one task where we had to use sellotape in the most, I think it was brilliant way possible.

And I, and from having seen, I think just knowing that I could do that in the back of my mind, I probably would not have made a short film myself where I sellotaped Paul to train tracks and then came and rescued him.

I think you're totally right in that you sometimes watch a series of Taskmaster

wherever it's filmed, and you can tell when someone has not seen the show before and they're not aware of how good the crew is and how good the edit team is, that they can make something look a certain way.

I mean, especially in the series that I did with Rose and with David Badil, Bedil hadn't seen much of it.

So there were all of these things

where we all had these sort of like, you know, huge themed short films and all of these edit points.

And then David's was just him sort of walking around chatting.

And you think that's because you don't know the show.

I mean, it's brilliant.

I'm glad he hadn't seen the show.

But yeah, I think you're totally right.

Yes, it's so perfect.

Yeah, like the people who don't see the show, like Matt Heath, who we'll talk about later, like, yeah, they, the not seeing the show brings something so funny and so fresh.

And in my season, Bubba had no clue, I think, what the show was.

I think even her manager, her agent, had briefed her.

I think she thought it was like comedians go on and play games.

So I don't know.

I think she maybe thought it was going to be like Twister or something.

And instead, suddenly, and so that, like, it's so much fun to see someone having to process it in the moment.

But yeah, for me, I found it just so helpful knowing.

And I also knew that the show loved to

play tricks on you, or there was always a catch somewhere.

And so, every time I'd enter the room, I would like to look around, I would try hunt for like a clue or whatever, and it never once helped me.

Even I think there was a

task where it was do all the tasks, and they had hidden tasks, mini tasks around the room.

I had looked around the room, and I hadn't noticed any of them.

Welcome, Laura, to the Taskmaster podcast, and we get to talk about you being the champion of Taskmaster New Zealand Series 2.

You're the champ.

Very exciting.

I understand it feels a little bit late to celebrate you being the champion of Taskmaster New Zealand because there's been about three or four series since then.

So late, I barely remember doing it.

That's where we like to have it.

Hey, a pleasure to spend time with you, Ed.

That's the way we do things.

A lot of podcasts, they like to be hot on the news.

They like to capture the sort of real feeling and immediacy of these things.

But we like people to just completely forget about what they've done and try and remind them over the course of an hour.

Yeah, I always say it's really good to dwell in the past.

And dwell, we shall.

Now, look, I don't know what the system is in New Zealand.

Is there going to be a champion of champions?

Has anyone talked to you about champion of champions?

Literally, no one has talked to me about it, but I feel like it's got to happen, surely.

It'll be a pretty sick lineup of,

you know, what we call it over here, Wahine, it's the Maori word for women.

And then there's Josh Thompson from season three.

And Josh Thompson.

And Josh Thompson's also there.

But doesn't Josh also direct quite a lot of Taskmaster now?

Isn't he well involved in this?

Ever since he was on Taskmaster, all the following seasons, he has directed.

So season

four and five, and currently they're filming season six.

How How do you think you'd get on in that lineup?

As you say, it's a great lineup of very, very good Taskmaster contestants, and Josh Thompson's there as well.

How do you think you'd do?

I'd absolutely crush them.

That's a very un-New Zealand-y way to act, by the way, is because New Zealanders are very much like, oh, no, no, no,

don't ever pump yourself up.

But, however, I will say, it would be like a, I reckon it'd be like a feisty-ass competition because you've got Hailey Sproul, Angela Dravid from season one, uh, and Melanie Bracewell, and as we said, Josh.

And uh, oh, Josh is he knows the ins and outs of Taskmaster now, of course, because he directs it.

Um, so I think we'd all need to team up, get him out, and then it would be like a real battle of um pretty like evenly matched women, to be honest.

Angela always seems like someone that is, uh, you know, pretty like reserved.

Uh, she's not at all, she's so onto it,

and she's brutal

do you think that you're the most competitive in that in that lineup

i would have said yes but then you've got haley and mel who are like extremely competitive people even some like i'm i know i'm competitive but they give me a run for my money

great well we need to see you've got um but everyone's well everyone has like has had a history of being like you know athletes um i think that really

comes out.

Like, Haley's done, there's a very New Zealand-specific sport called marching, and she's done it her whole entire life.

And extremely competitive persona.

Melanie is a netball player.

I was like a competitive swimmer growing up, so everyone's got it in them.

And then Josh is just competitive in general.

He's competitive at being funny.

I do like whatever we talk about, it always ends with, and Josh, and Josh too.

And Josh is there.

So Ursula has some targets in her brain that she goes to quite often.

It's

vegans,

people who don't know how to merge, and anti-vaxxers.

Like, those are her three people she hates like with a vengeance.

And it's so funny that vegans is like the top of that list.

And so I don't know if it's like growing up in South Africa, you must just like have like a high-protein-rich meat diet or something like that.

But yeah, she's got it in for vegans.

And I think she wanted to get her political agenda out there.

Yeah, I mean, to be fair to her, I think she's already had a go at vegans on this series.

I think we all know her feelings on vegans.

But yeah, Bill Tong, of course, is proudly South African.

So she manages to get

a shout-out for Bill Tong in there.

And the opposite is tofu.

She's got a point in the vegan vegans where they presented with tofu and Bill Tong, they would not say that they were anywhere near to each other.

They'd say they were the most different thing possible and I didn't mind that reasoning.

But they're both foods.

They're not different at all, are they, Mel?

That's the thing is that sometimes as a as a comedian and we'll see it later on in the other prize submissions as well is that do you go like something that you're like me i'm competitive i want to like win and i want to follow the instructions of the task.

But some people are just like, what's the funniest thing I could do?

What's something I can riff on?

And I think Ursha has gone for riff over

trying to earn the points.

She's gone for riff over points, but she still gets three points.

And we're trying to limit the amount we talk about Jeremy scoring on the show.

And I think we're actually doing quite a good job.

It's been a couple of episodes since we've mentioned it, but three points for this, personally, I find insanity.

Something Jeremy said to me

when we were recording, he said in the first season, he really didn't think people cared about the points.

It's like, you know, we do seven days and we do other panel shows, but the points don't matter.

And this is probably like one of the only shows where

it's, you know, comedy focused, but people really give a shit about the points.

And so he was like, oh, okay.

So I was just kind of firing it out a little bit randomly in the first season.

And the second season, it's stressful because he had all of that backlash.

He was like, okay,

what people seem to resonate with is not even necessarily that you got it 100% right, but that you have a reason.

He was like, I just need like a reason or like to explain why I gave points in a certain order.

And people are kind of like, Okay, okay, I don't agree, but okay.

Yes.

And so he, I think he just started going on that vibe of like, okay, as long as I have a reason, doesn't matter what the reason is.

That's so true.

I just had to express it.

I think that's so true that, yeah, that in the the first series, he would just go, yeah, five points for you, four points for you, three points for you, and everyone was tearing their hair out because they're like, I know the whole point of Taskmaster is obviously it's silly, obviously it doesn't matter, but we need to apply rigor and a serious nature to all of this silly stuff.

This is why Taskmaster works, and he is, he is way, he is way better at that in this series.

But also, he's the Taskmaster, he can do whatever he likes.

If he doesn't want to give reasons, he doesn't have to give reasons.

I disagree with some of his scoring throughout the show, but it's okay.

It's okay.

Having said that, three points is fucking mad.

This is a great task.

Construct the least appropriate wedding cake.

You have 45 minutes.

Your time starts now.

Now, did you have any instant thoughts when this task came up about what you would have done?

Look, I think when you think inappropriate, or sorry, least appropriate, you think inappropriate, and I think you think sex

or

like yuck.

And so I think probably

shit or sex, the two human

conditions,

the two least appropriate things, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I genuinely think, um, honestly, I mean, you know, my brand, I probably would have like done something like a boy or bunny in a pot or something

dark.

I don't know.

Yeah, it's a good idea.

My brain goes, a meatcake, you know, something like, yeah, that just looks awful.

Um, what about you?

Well, yeah, probably shit

45 minutes, you've got to start making it pretty quickly.

Probably shit, to be honest with you.

Yeah, yeah.

I did like someone saying that I think

they were like, it is

sanitary.

And then Paul goes, for legal reasons, it is.

I mean, they were all pretty gross, weren't they?

But

I think Laura's the one who maybe makes the most effort to do something that's not that.

It's sort of a theatrical moment.

Yeah, and she creates the whole backstory.

And she says, oh, it's covered in cream and the bride's lactose intolerant, so that's not very appropriate.

And I like that because I think she's clearly done what you've done there and gone, everyone's going to do shit or sex.

But she does ask Paul to American Pie the Cake, which he refuses to do, so she creates this whole backstory.

And then

he does it when she leaves, leading to one of my favourite moments in the studio just david talking about how thick paul's dick is

i know and then paul genuinely genuinely to be like can we move on i don't want to be joking about this

i can see when paul's being genuine like he doesn't want to talk about it

you got a thick dick bro

yeah absolutely love that um

i laughed out loud at guys though it was so funny i know that your brain goes instantly to sex but i think it was just the cadence and consonance he used when he said, I fucked your dad.

I tell you what it was as well.

It was because it came straight after Laura's and Laura did something quite interesting.

It was saying, oh, she's lactose intolerant, and here's the backstory.

And everyone was like, yeah, that's great.

And then it cut to guys, and he just went, I've written, I fucked your dad.

And it's just like

comedy with a sledgehammer.

It's really funny.

Take Paul on the perfect first date.

Most romantic first date wins.

Paul will be ready to be picked up for the date in 20 minutes.

Your time starts now.

I love this task, and I love that they specified first date, because it makes a lot of these very, very funny.

Laura does a bit more of a traditional one.

She gets Paul to show her how to do a three-pointer,

which, you know, I mean, this sums up some men, I guess, that probably want to feel like they're in control.

And Paul loves basketball, so it's a pretty good, it's a pretty good idea.

But also at the same time, she's sort of trying to grind up against him.

She's been like,

she's been quite overt, not so overt as to get him in a bath, but like, it's still pretty.

And then that continues with

the spaghetti.

She tries to lady in the tramp.

Well, she manages it, actually.

It's so funny watching Paul be this uncomfortable.

He's naturally this uncomfortable anyway, and he will not engage in this.

And

yeah, that's nice to see the spaghetti make an appearance.

Yes, and something

I really didn't want to know, I think.

I really wish that the Lady in the Tramp, the spaghetti moment, had stayed in the cartoon.

Because seeing the grim reality of what that's like,

and

them discussing that Paul sucked the the spaghetti out of Laura's mouth

into his own is one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard in my life.

It sounds horrific.

Yeah, it's not good.

I mean, yeah, seeing how that would actually work,

the science of spaghetti means that, you know, someone's sucking it out of someone else's mouth.

And I'm not.

Do they discuss it in the episode, but was the spaghetti even cooked all the way?

I don't know because I think she was cooking it for a while because she left Paul playing chess by himself, right?

Which we don't see.

Laura seems quite annoyed that that didn't make the edit, but I think that would have been genuinely boring.

But probably for Paul,

probably one of the more enjoyable parts of the date, I imagine.

Because he's not his own play and chess.

Yeah, better than being ground up on while trying to play basketball and then sucking spaghetti out of her mouth.

But yeah,

quite a traditional date, in a sense, compared to some of the others anyway.

Certainly compared to Ursula's.

She puts him in a canoe by himself,

shouts at him with a megaphone and lobs a bottle of juice at him from the riverbank and then just leaves him alone and says he's clingy.

This is outstanding, isn't it?

It's perfect.

It's so good.

I tell you what, for a date between a straight man and a lesbian, I think it's probably one of the best ways it possibly could have gone.

Yes.

It's very, yeah, it's very funny.

It's Ursula to a T of just like

bullying Paul,

just not having to do much herself, just being able to just push him out.

Just

really good.

Very good.

I mean, I'd imagine Paul was quite relieved by this because she has bullied him for the whole series up until this point.

So when it's come to get a go on her first date, I'd imagine there's much more horrific things she could have done to him.

Yes, and some of the bullying has had a sexual undertone to it.

And so when Killing,

given the prompt of a date, Paul was like, oh no.

So this is actually, he's really escaped here, literally.

Yeah, the throwing the juice made me laugh so much.

Just a whole bottle of juice just lopped at top speed towards the canoe.

Very, very funny.

Juice.

Yeah.

Guy gets the five points, though, because he employs the old green screen technique.

This really made me laugh all the way through.

Again, it's very guy, the whole thing.

The running thing of it's pina coladas every time, and it's just the same pina colada that just gets less and less every place.

Remnants of a pina colada.

They go to Miami, then they go to Barcelona to watch Fulham play football, and they win the Champions League.

And Paul genuinely is delighted at even the thought of that happening.

Very sweet.

Yes,

I don't know enough about soccer, or football, sorry, but I got the impression that Barcelona and Fulham do not normally play each other.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know a huge amount about it either.

I would say that Fulham aren't going to win the Champions League as far as I know.

I don't think that's something that

they might do.

But it's just sweet to see Paul so happy.

The leaning in for the kiss was so awkward.

They're giggling because they know what's coming, and then Guy leans in and Paul doesn't go for it.

It's really, it's really, really awkward.

Oh, the guy's recovery.

It's just, oh,

it is just the cringiest first date.

It feels very much like a first date.

And them breaking over the Pina Colada is so funny.

It's really, really funny.

I mean, yeah, I loved it.

It was a well-deserved five points for Guy.

Very, very funny.

i think paul he's someone who he you know he's able to maintain his um demeanor his um is just so so incredibly well so yeah anytime you can get paul to break i think it's such a huge victory yeah i think so now and again he goes doesn't he but um it's not it's not it's not often and i can never really tell what's what's gonna make him go either yeah

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I think he enjoys, yeah, I think it's just someone being really, really

And I'll tell you what, probably

getting him towards the end of a filming day.

I bet.

I bet that would.

Yeah, that helps.

I bet that really helps.

Ursula received the one point, two points for Matt, three points for David, four points for Laura, and five points for Guy.

So we come to Barcelona to watch one of the great football teams play football against your favorite team.

Fulham.

Fulham in C.

Go

to Fulham.

They've won the Champions League.

Stoke with that.

And what better way to celebrate being in Barcelona, Spain than drinking one of their iconic national drinks, a pina colada?

Now we need to talk about this because task two is only for one person.

It's follow these shoelaces, untie these shoelaces.

Fastest time wins.

Your time starts now.

I think this is the cruelest task for one contestant that has ever been done in the history of Taskmaster.

It's just for David.

Absolutely.

But how good is it?

So good.

Perfect person to give that task to.

Yeah, it really sums him up as well that he's all in.

He really goes for it.

He's so sweet, but so angry.

And, you know, he commits to it so much.

And he's just angry about the whole thing, but also he's trying.

And then Paul starts reading Rumpelstiltskin, and he's blown away by the story of Rumpelstiltskin.

He's so sweet.

He's such a sweet boy.

He He really is.

He's a sweetheart.

It is, maybe, you are right.

It's such a mean thing to do to someone that, like, every, yeah, I just feel like everyone at this stage just loves this man and like

would go into bat for David over anything.

But yeah, I was like,

you want to watch me or any of the others undo these shoelaces?

We'll probably just be like, all right.

Sit in silence, just like, get it done.

Like, yeah, I can figure it out.

Yeah, I mean, look, he is incredible.

And it's that moment where Paul does the ending of Rumpelstiltskin and says about the Rumpelstiltskin tearing himself in half.

And David goes, what the fuck?

He's so into it.

It's brilliant.

It's like, that's, that's like high-level art, what was created in that episode.

I agree.

And the fact he actually does it and then he's gutted in the studio.

And then I think he's excited in the studio because he does does it.

He gets a standing evasion and of course he gets an extra five points for it.

He deserves it.

He deserves it and he was someone that maybe like I think throughout the series like he because of his like temperament

and being very excitable but also you know angry and all these things sometimes it like would score him down throughout the season.

And so he had like a bit of a roller coaster.

So yet he was brilliant at so many of the tasks that I think it was like the perfect thing to happen in that episode as well.

That it was like, there's this secret, well, you know, individual tasks that no one else got.

And I was like, of course he deserves five points because I felt like there's other things he did that were so incredible that just

he was like his own worst enemy sometimes and how he reacted to them.

Yeah, it took him two hours and 12 seconds, which is

mad.

It's mad.

I think the longest I've ever spent doing a task was 97 minutes.

And that was

that felt like you're looking at the crew going they're they're gutted about this this is this is taking far too long

two hours 12 although in saying that when he did that he did that grape task the like caravan one the grape escape or something how long did he take during that one so long right that was long but i think it was like it was over an hour but then there was also oh okay there was also the um

uh the one later on where we're gonna be talking about the milk uh and microwaves oh yeah you were supposed to to wait, where he clearly has no problem taking a long time over a task.

So

we'll talk about it.

But it's a well-deserved five points for David in task two.

Now, as a competitive person, I think I would have been watching that if I was on that lineup.

Delighted for David, found it absolutely hilarious, but also in the back of my mind going, well, that's five points that wasn't available to me.

How are we justifying this?

No, I wasn't like that.

I was super chill.

Never crossed your mind, did it, Laura?

No, it was just like tight lip, big lip.

Yeah, really good, really good, really, really good.

They actually also obsessed with that for you.

Yeah, so cool.

So, actually, actually, so cool.

Actually, no, but

I do think genuinely, I was like, fair, fair, fair, fair, fair.

And I think David and I, like, we bonded so hard in the studio that I remember we'd go backstage, we'd both be crying, being like, you're amazing, David.

So to reveal my very lame side,

I was genuinely happy for him.

But yeah, I mean, there was a little bit, a little bit of like, oh, interesting, interesting.

Okay.

Okay.

We picked these individuals.

We were picking up the parks that were just for us.

Yes, we

were.

I wonder how we would have all done it now.

Thank God you won.

Thank God David didn't come through and win the series.

Otherwise, the after party would have just been you going, it's weird, isn't it, that he won by, he won by one one point?

Yeah,

exactly.

When we didn't all do the same amount of tasks, kind of weird.

Well, thank God for

my reputation that I didn't have to be that person.

Create a diss track about the members of the other team.

Best diss track wins.

You have 45 minutes.

Your time starts now.

Look, we've talked about this on the podcast before.

The first time we had David on the show, he even wrote us a bespoke rap for the show.

It is incredible.

But I think we should talk about Ursula and Matt first, their diss track, because I think this often gets forgotten because of David's performance in the other team.

But this

is insane.

Their rap is absolutely insane because...

It feels like they've written their bits separately because Matt keeps saying, we're going to eat your asses, and then I've never seen a rap song where someone says something, and then the other person rapping takes a step away and distances themselves from what the other rapper's saying.

Yes, it's also again that the Matt playing dumb thing as well, he 100% knows

it's a sexual thing, but he's really leaning into it.

And he has a band as well, Matt.

He's got a band called Deja Voodoo.

My dad loves his song Beers,

which goes, I'd give you one of my bears, but I've only got six.

It's a great showing.

It's a great song.

Pick it up.

But, yeah, and I love how Ursula and her rat,

she uses the phrase,

this rhymes with this, rhymes with this, rhymes with this.

It's like she

not often do they like referencing the fact that what they're saying is rhyming.

Yeah, the very basics of really exposing rap, sort of postmodern rap, just showing showing everyone what it is.

Yeah, but this is oh gosh, this is basically you know

Kendrick and Drake levels of beef.

This

rap battle.

This is the thing people are talking so much about Kendrick and Drake, and you want to be like, just watch Taskmaster New Zealand season two, episode six, guys.

That's the only rap battle beef you'll ever need.

David is accused of wanking everywhere.

That seems to be the main.

guys pale, and Laura makes shit cakes.

So, those are the,

I feel like David was the one who got the worst of it.

Oh, gosh, it is so entertaining to watch because there's a lot of panic as well, that these are your friends, and you're like, what can I say about these people?

And I'm sure, like, Matt and Ursh will probably also genuinely try to be like a little nicer.

You know, they feel like they're higher status or, you know, been in the business for longer.

And so they're like, oh, what's Laura been in the news for lately?

Like, she kind of, oh, okay, what can we do about that?

And then David wanks everywhere.

David wanks everywhere.

It's so funny.

Let's talk about

David and Guy and Laura, the three friends.

I mean, even just the freestyles at the beginning while they're writing the rap.

Guy's face when David's freestyling is so funny because he's like, he finds it amusing, but he's so worried because he's talking about running Matt Heath over like a cat.

That's one of of my favourite bits where then both Laura and Guy are in a race to go, like, you shouldn't even run over cats, David.

You can't use that as a comparison.

But I say I think about

the Taskmaster, and certainly in the UK, that it's a really good home for

brilliant comics who wouldn't necessarily get on more traditional stuff.

So anyone who's just a bit odd and a bit more character-based and, you know, who are brilliant, but there's just not been that format for them.

And I think, yeah, David's the perfect example of it, just allowed to run wild and show his personality.

And it really worked for him.

Fuck you!

Things we know about Laura, she was on Seven Sharp.

Cakes,

you bake ugly shit cakes.

Yeah, this is how flow goes.

I'ma break your nose, break your teeth, bitch, get out of my clothes.

Can't wait to hear his Christmas song.

Montgomery, more like Mont Goobery.

I'm gonna go, I'm gonna drown you

in your own blood.

Hold your face down in your own blood now.

Horrios, Wi-Fi boy.

Why you need all that Wi-Fi in the garage?

What are you wanking in there, buddy?

Yeah, that's good.

As long as they've got nothing on us, there's nothing, they're untouchable.

So we know.

Good luck to them.

Oh, we should make fun of them for being old.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We should really bully them for being older than us.

Oh, do you think they put them together because combined their ages are the same as ours?

Surely they won't focus on that.

Yes, but

task two: eat the grape, you cannot damage the caravan.

Fastest wins, your time starts now.

It's an escape room, Brindley, isn't it?

Yeah, it is, it is.

And guess what?

I was very lucky to be in the writer's room for this day, so I got to help come up with the um, with the I didn't come up with the idea to do the task, but I was there for like all the fun tricks of the task, which was really fun.

Yeah, did you?

Oh, this is the perfect day.

Come up with any of the particular little tricks.

Look, it's hard to remember.

I do remember the balloons, and I remember the water.

Like, we're talking about water and freezing things, but it's hard to say when there's a writer's room of a couple of different people and you're all just throwing stuff around.

Sure.

You don't want to be honest with me.

But I remember it being fun.

No, no, no.

Stay humble, you know.

I don't want any of those writers breathing down my neck coming for me in the night.

Truly a great task because

you've got someone like Laura and Guy, to be fair, who both done escape rooms before, I think, very obviously.

They know the rhythm of escape rooms.

They delight in this sort of thing.

Laura, especially, running around.

She can't believe her luck that there's so many different things for a girl.

Best daygiver.

Best day ever.

She's delighting in the clues and how they've been put together.

And clearly, she's thinking about the writer's room.

She's like...

They've done such a great job.

And getting the hot water to melt it.

Seeing the balloons.

she's just like yeah she there's nothing better than someone in the moment uh like giving kudos for the people who created it these guys have done such a good job well done well done thank you thank you for this opportunity guy seems slightly more annoyed by the whole thing um yeah yeah but does it very well he doesn't like things being pulled on him yeah no he doesn't it's a funny thing because he um hosts obviously guy mont spelling bee where he is the host and he is in charge he's basically the jeremy wells of the of the whole thing And then it's so funny to watch him be in the position of nasty little tricks being played on him, you know.

And he's like,

and I was like, this is how it feels, guy.

Yeah, because he's such a trickster on that show, isn't he?

It's he just absolutely loves annoying people.

And that is, you're right.

That's his true Rumpelstiltskin vibe comes out on that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think spotting those balloons and spotting the grape outside is key because like Matt and David don't don't spot the grape for ages.

Yeah, I love that little turn, that little um trip that Paul does where he goes, it took David 15 minutes to spot the grape

again.

He's got a he's having a breakdown in the studio before they get to his.

Like, seeing everyone, you know, it's gone badly when he sees other people do well and starts going, no, and putting his head in his hands again.

It was fantastic.

Paul, is that your key company?

I sell keys.

I got 10 bucks.

You actually suck.

Fuck!

Where's the

990?

The $10, sorry.

No, where's the Ts?

Where's the

internet banking?

Give me my phone.

Give me my phone.

If you give me a bank number, I will transfer you the money.

Okay.

Please, here's this.

You'll transfer me the 10 cents.

I'll transfer you the 10 cents.

Give me your bank details and I'll give them to you.

I was going to bring 20 bucks today to buy pie.

This is so mischievous.

Task three is a team task.

It's a legendary team task.

It's Puck Paul's car with inflated objects from the caravan.

Most inflated objects in Paul's car wins.

You have 10 minutes, your time starts now.

And of course, before this, we discover Laura is given a secret task.

During the next task,

stealthily sabotage your team.

If your team loses, you win.

If your team wins, you get no points.

If your team accuses you of sabotage, you get no points.

A great task, Jack.

Unbelievable.

Like a game changer, I would say.

Like a game changer across all of Taskmaster.

It's the type of thing that when it happened, it was like, oh, you could do this forever.

You could just, like, you could.

This could, and imagine going back into old series and being like, who's the saboteur in old tasks?

Oh, yeah.

Such, such a good idea.

Um, and really, really well done here.

Um, I love this task, and it's, and yeah, it, it's, it's, it's beautiful.

It's brilliant and beautiful.

It is very, very good.

And obviously

we did this in the UK a few series later

with John Kearns being the saboteur.

Yes.

And also sort of a version of it with

Nick Mohammed and Steve Pemberson's series where they are all doing different things.

They all are all told to do different things.

But it's it's exciting that it feels like

it I don't think that that I feel like that that that task is inspired by all other secret tasks that have happened in the show.

And I feel like this is the first secret sabotage task,

team task, and this is the one that kind of sparks everything else off, which is, yeah, so good.

It's so funny.

And I love the way it's revealed as well that they start playing the task.

Yeah.

There's that little look from Laura as she throws down some balloons and then it rewinds.

And the reactions are great because it sums people up.

Guy's just sat there, like clearly impressed by the twist.

Yeah.

And he would have definitely done the same thing himself.

And David is shook to his core.

David is betrayed.

He pulls the chair away.

It's so wonderfully done.

It's the type of thing also where I wonder, like, did they pick Laura because they knew that they could do that in the studio?

Because they knew that they have to have like David,

Guy, Laura together.

So did they know that it would look like that where like Laura's in the middle?

Because also in the UK version, it's a similar thing.

It's the team of three and and it's john who is also in the middle uh is the saboteur so i wonder i just wonder what goes through whether whether the show is that smart but yeah oh it's i think you're i think you're overthinking it chat i think i am overthinking it

but no i i unfortunately the job laura does of sabotaging isn't great yes they absolutely kill it i mean guy is so on it like getting these balloons in that i think i think laura feels too worried about ruining the task i think she tries, and it's very funny when she does do it, but I think she could have done more.

She could have opened doors, she could have left doors open, she could have popped more, she could have.

I feel like the ankle roll is a particularly great moment because

you see Guy remembering that that happened and that that was fake.

It's a brilliant, it's a brilliant reveal.

It's a great task, though.

I mean, I guess a similar version of this task used in Junior Taskmaster in the UK.

Yes, I was going to say

that I think in Taskmaster, in Junior Taskmaster final ser the final episode, where they have to put balloons into a tent that they've pitched,

the caravan is filled with balloons.

I'm sure that's a reference to this as well.

Yes.

They must have looked at that.

Yeah.

And also,

one contestant in Junior Taskmaster decided to move the tent closer to the

caravan and there is some insinuation from Paul that they could have got the keys for his car and driven the car closer to to the caravan.

Yeah, see, I don't know.

it would have helped but i don't know was that the thing that was slowing them down yeah i suppose it would have it definitely would have helped because you can just like just herd balloons in at that point oh that's true yeah that's true

i did quite like urshla and matt's thing of getting the lilos and using them to block block the balloons in but then then you think the lilos are pretty big yeah you basically

you stopped yourself from being able to put things in yeah um was the what was the actual phrasing of the task as well could you could could they have it was most inflated thing, so they couldn't have popped all the balloons and put them in.

No, most inflated objects in Paul's car wins.

It's inflated rather than inflatable.

Yes.

But unfortunately, Laura does not sabotage successfully.

They get about 20 more into the car than Ursula and Matt do,

meaning that she gets the naught points.

I think she would have felt quite guilty had...

had she actually got the five points there and the others got naught

i think i think she potentially but I think she feels guilty anyway you can see when when when the when they start showing the task there's like a shot of her just before the the reveal of what's happened and she looks like she's fully disassociating she's like sort of probably like oh god look at this whole thing like a whole world is falling apart I feel like in a way

because John enjoys the fact that he that he wins I think in the end he doesn't feel any guilt in the sound oh god no no no no I think he's belated by the fact they're sort of really angry at him during it and they're like bullying him a bit and I I think that

that is justification enough to have carried on doing it.

So I think

he's delighted with it, yeah.

Whereas, I suppose, yeah, in this one, they're all like, oh, have you hurt your ankle, Laura?

Oh, God, are you okay?

And also, there's a really funny bit at the end where Paul says, How do you think that went?

And

Guy and Dave are like, Yeah, it went okay.

And you can see Laura go, No, I think it went really badly.

As if like the perception of it going badly would also mean that they could lose.

Yeah, yeah.

It is nice seeing david and and um and guy have a little hug at the end uh yeah beaten right laura sat there just left out that i think um it's naught points for laura it's two points for it's two points for urshula and matt and five points for david and guy

Incredible that none of your team noticed that because that is some of the worst balloon pudding in a car I've ever seen.

I genuinely thought you rolled your ankle.

Did you not get frustrated, Guy?

Because you looked like you were doing a lot of work for that.

Yeah, I mean, that was just, you are a real fucking piece of work.

So, how many balloons did these guys get in there with Laura sabotaging?

The number to beat was 65 from the first team.

Guy himself contributed 58,

and overall, this team had 84.

The live task,

this one grossed me out.

Start preparing your salad for the taskmaster.

You have 100 seconds.

And then part two, the taskmaster no longer wants his salad.

Return your salad items to their original order.

You have a further 100 seconds.

Your time starts now.

Horrible.

I mean, especially Matt's, because he just mashes everything up and then it's all covered in dressing.

It's gross.

Oh, no one, no one ate the salads.

And why would you?

Why would you?

I do remember feeling, you know, as someone that was still, you know, in the lead in this episode, like just, like, just, it was like, I was like, well, it's going to come down to the live task.

And I remember being in the live task and kind of like almost freezing and being like,

what am I supposed to do with this salad?

Yeah, because you can't think of anything.

I don't understand what the task is.

It's a very difficult, it's a surprising task, this one.

It's a difficult one to try and second guess.

Because I think Guy even says there's definitely going to be a second part to this.

And Matt says it's going to be eat the salad, you know, but you don't, it's a very surprising one.

A lot of, yeah, I think, I think most of us thought it was going to be eat the salad or recreate it or something like that.

But it was like, okay, I do remember being like a bit conservative of how I made the salad because I was like, oh, maybe it's going to be like, yeah, I just remember where she had people like David that was like,

because David, fun fact about him, loves to cook.

Yeah.

Again, the times we've lived together during festival season, he's just like, he gets the knives out.

He's like,

and I do remember him being like, he was going for taste.

Yeah.

Well, at one point, he says, when you have to, you know, put it all back, he says, oh,

I've balanced all the acids and the fats.

He's livid that he has to ruin it because he's balanced all the acids and the fats.

Incredible, right?

And in hindsight, he should have got the points.

Yeah, for nicer salad.

Make a salad.

I'm going to get the balanced salad.

Someone that's really thought about it and put in the effort.

But yeah, that wasn't the full task, so he doesn't get them.

No.

Well, Matt still got the one point, of course, because it was total

horrible, creamy dressing chaos.

And David gets the two points.

Three points for Guy.

Four points for you, Laurie.

Really got everything pretty much in the right order.

And somehow.

Four point gal.

Four points.

And somehow, five points for Ursula.

And I'm wondering whether that's because she just didn't move much in the first place.

She just sort of left it where it was and just threw together a salad.

She would have seen the task and would have been like, I'm not making you the fucking salad.

Make your own.

But it was five points for Ursula, meaning this episode, David wins.

A huge comeback episode for David.

25 points, beating you by seven points.

Matt's on 16 points.

Guy's on 16 points, and Ursula on 13 points.

But it was not enough from David.

Not enough from Guy.

You are declared the winner of Taskmaster New Zealand Series 2 with Guy in second place, then David, then Matt, then Ursula.

A great feeling.

How did you celebrate?

What was this?

That's the crowd going wild, by the way, for the listeners.

There's the crowd going wild.

They were, if I remember correctly, the audience were on their feet standing.

They weren't.

No, but yeah,

it was kind of crazy.

Honestly, the feeling at the end was kind of just, we all got really like super like, oh my God, we just all did this thing together.

And then we all went and had a private party in the dressing room.

Like the legends we are.

Did it get pretty?

It got and let's just say we got to know Jeremy the taskmaster very well

oh that's why he wouldn't come on and talk about this series it's too scandalous

oh we know too much