Ep 180. Rosie Jones - S18 Ep.9
On this week's podcast brace yourself for the formidable Rosie Jones! Never before has Ed had such honest feedback... plus some partial disrobing! Rosie talks about what she loved (and didn't) about doing the show, what Jack was like as a team mate and why she would ignore Andy's costumes.
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Transcript
Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast.
It's me, Ed Gamble, and of course we are going to be talking about Taskmaster Series 18, episode 9, the penultimate episode of what has been a brilliant series of Taskmaster.
And I'm so excited that we have today as our special guest a competitor in series 18 of Taskmaster the wonderful Rosie Jones Rosie will be coming on to talk about her Taskmaster experience as a whole this episode specifically and primarily to tear strips off me I'd imagine so I hope you're all looking forward to that very much I cannot wait to speak to Rosie always love chatting to her Hopefully you've seen this episode.
If you haven't, get yourself onto channel4.com
and ready yourself.
But Leah, let's just get on with it.
This is Taskmaster Series 18, episode 9, as discussed by Rosie Jones.
Welcome, Rosie Jones, to the Taskmaster podcast.
Oh my God,
I am so excited.
I have worked out
the next
10 hours.
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
I'm going to leave after an hour, if that's alright.
And then you can just carry on for nine.
Actually,
that is an ideal situation.
Because
I'm already going to say the worst
part of this episode
will be
you.
That's fair enough.
That's always the case, I'd say.
I very rarely bring anything to these episodes, Rosie.
It's nice.
It's nice that even within the first minute, you managed to absolutely take me down.
Yeah.
But would you want
anything other
than that?
No, I'd be really creeped out if you were suddenly nice to me, Rosie.
It would be so weird.
Um, Eggambo, you need to accept
that you are
and you always
will be a
piece of
shit.
Well, that is wonderful.
Thank you so much, Rodney.
What a delight it is to have you on the Taskmaster podcast.
Look, you can afford to be this arrogant and this horrible to me because you're absolutely killing it on Taskmaster.
You are one of my favorite contestants of all time, I'll say it.
it.
Thank you.
And I'd like to really
question
your definition
of
killing it
because
if we're talking points,
no, no, no, no.
I don't know.
You're doing all right because everyone is pretty much on the same level.
I mean, look, we're on episode nine, we're going to be talking about episode nine, so maybe everyone started pulling away from you a little bit at this point, right?
But killing it in terms of you are very, very funny on it, you are nailing a lot of the prize tasks, you're very good at those,
and you introduced the world to Mr.
Pooh.
So
I don't know what else you could ask for.
Mitch the Pooh, a lot of people say,
how did you come up with Mr.
Pooh?
And I really just say
Mr.
Pooh found me.
It was, honestly, I've never seen anything that's more up my street.
And it's so mature, so gross.
Just, and no one else is going to do that on there.
It's all that's classic, Jones.
But that was the thing
so many tats
i had done
and as you know there's about
four or five months
between the
hats
so what you do on your own and then there's studio
and thought so many
of my tasks
I was like well,
I did the most obvious thing,
and then you see what everyone else
does, and you go,
Oh,
oh no,
oh, there's something
very wrong
with my mind.
Like
a great
example is the push the envelope
task.
I honestly thought
all five of us
would eat
the envelope.
It's it's hoping
not at all.
I just love the idea of you smearing Nutella all over a big fake poo, going, well, everyone else is going to be doing this.
Obviously,
also,
I did
up for them,
as we'll talk about
later in the episode.
My mind
often went to
if I can't eat it,
can I shit it out?
And that, that,
that's a binary
of
my journey across the series.
Eat it or shit it.
Does that count as a journey when you went in thinking eat it or shit it and you finished the series thinking eat it or shit it?
Yeah, yeah,
yeah.
And really,
that's what we're talking about.
And
as you could see over the whole series,
I am all on up and
I am
bringing you a whole new concept,
a whole new idea,
or
I cannot be fucking asked,
and
I'm bringing you a sack share bowl.
And that's it.
That was exactly what I thought of when you were saying that because your prize tasks, I'd say half of them have been the best prize tasks I've ever seen.
I'm talking about the coffin in particular.
The letter opener was just a genius stroke way to kick off the series.
And then suddenly the quality drops off so rapidly with a saxophone and a picture picture of you giving the double thumbs up wearing a saxophone on your back.
Honestly,
I'll give you everything
or I will give you nothing.
And
either go hard or go home.
Right, well, we should talk about this episode in particular then before you decide to go home.
Before we do, I should just say we did a little bit of digging because at the beginning of this episode, Greg gives Alex's money to an audience member, and we have had it confirmed that that audience member did leave with the money.
So
they did make all of that money.
Yeah, yeah, Dan.
I say should
I say it before,
I'm saying it again.
Alex Horn
deserves
nothing.
Do you mean Alex deserves nothing for the show?
He came up with the show, he writes all the tasks, you feel like he deserves nothing.
Everything in life,
take away his
home,
his lifestyle, his clothes,
and his money.
So I really
believe we did the right thing.
Taking away a little
money
and giving it to a member of that audience.
Good.
I'm glad we got that sorted.
So, let's talk about the prize task, which is the best item for keeping things in that it that isn't just a regular item for keeping things in.
Let's talk about yours straight away, Rosie.
You went with me.
Well,
yeah, yeah, obviously,
and I feel like
we haven't had
enough
depth like
evidence
of how great their bra is.
So, sorry, it's uh
not a v-shoo on me day, and
I am am coming
Rosie's un Rosie's unzipping her top as she's speaking to me yeah please could you narrate
what I'm about to do well Rosie is unzipping her
top
and she's digging she's digging around she's digging around in her chest area
and she's pulled out a pajama
There's a banana in there.
She showed me the banana.
I mean, look, and you know what?
We were chatting for a bit before that.
At no point did I think Rosie's got a banana in her bra.
So, you know, that's it's an amazing thing.
It's an amazing thing to carry things in.
Even a banana.
Is that a regular snack that you keep in your bra, Rosie?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I'll be honest with the Ed, it's not my favorite prize task.
It's not a saxophone,
but at the same time, it's not the dizzy height
of
my
own coffin.
So
we are middle of the road.
Also,
behind the curtain, it wasn't my first
choice,
but I couldn't use
my first choice
because it would have been a repeat price.
I would have brought
my own belly button
because,
as you know from episode one,
I do
keep a lot of varied items:
fluff,
food,
stationery
in my own belly button so yeah I'll put the hand up
middle of the road
but still
quite a functional item
yeah and you've proved it right now you've proved it today with the uh with the secret banana so that was uh a very a very good prize as far as I'm concerned um but yeah middle of the road it did get three points um but uh Baba got the one um because we have to remember that the best item for keeping things in that isn't just a regular item for keeping things in, is the prize task category.
And Baba brought in a biscuit tin with a sewing kit in it, lovely bit of observation from Baba,
but
a biscuit tin is a regular item for keeping things in, yeah, and I love that realization on his face when he says, My bad, I messed up.
I own it, say, Lord Baba, well no, no, say baby, and now Lord Baba,
a little bit enthusiastic as him.
I think he's so,
so funny.
I think
when it comes to the price tax,
Baba
was so
fucking shit.
Every single light page out and you could see as the savage run on it dawned on him
how
truly shit he was.
So, yeah, he did absolutely deserve that one point.
But with Bubba as well, the first week was bad.
And you could see in his eyes he was like, oh, I've messed up here.
I think I've not fully understood what this is.
But then you do have a chance to change them going forward.
You could change them if you find out you're on the wrong sort of rhythm for it but he didn't did he no he just cracked on with it no he committed
he called them bass
he sacked himself
right
through their service
Well, Jack also sackophones himself in this episode.
He brings in a village, I mean, this is funny.
A village Christmas scene, and he says it's for holding batteries in the battery compartment.
Which really made me laugh, but it is, it's a very Jack joke in that he's just gone, I can't really be bothered, I'm grumpy about this.
So here's just the first thing I've thought of.
But it did make me laugh that, you know, sometimes it drains them.
All of that chat was very funny.
That almond and we'll talk about it later in the team chat.
But honestly,
so many
highlights of this series
was about Jackie.
He was a hero
of Minecraft.
I got to be on the team with him.
Sit next to him.
Have my boy, my captain, Jackie,
with me through what was a dream come true so
if he
brought in a literal Peter shit
as a price that
I would have still given him five points cause he's my hero well that's nice to hear you say that sincerely Rosie because you did say that on the show when you were trying to make him feel absolutely awful for
screwing everything up and in that team task where he had his head through the portrait.
You know what?
It's been a few months.
I held on to that anger for quite some time.
But
me and Captain Jackie did
a lot of joint counselling, and we're okay now.
We're okay.
I think Captain Jackie and the Hot Dog is one of my favourite team names that has ever been on Taskmaster.
And also, just that
your two vibes, we'll talk about it more when we talk about the team Tilesmaster.
Your two vibes of you singing Captain Jackie and the Hot Dog and Jack just sat there so tired.
You've just made him so tired across the day.
Yeah,
I
don't know if it ever made the edit,
but
one of my funniest things they said was,
I think it was our boost ever team touch.
I went,
I'm excited, Jackie.
Are you excited?
And he just
stood
very
still
and took it in.
And when
I'm getting there.
Yeah, yeah, that won't get there.
I'm getting there.
You don't have time to get there when you're hanging out with you, though.
You need to be there with you straight away, Captain Jackie and the hot dog.
Let's talk about Andy's prize task, which he brings in a toilet that he says you can put snooker balls, a lobster, an almanac, and a calculator,
and loads of stuff in the cistern as well.
Of course, there's a Cricket-based thing, a dollar WG Grace, the Elixir of Life.
It's a very Andy Prize, just very complicated, loads of layers upon layers upon layers.
I mean, I would argue it's not a great item for keeping things in that isn't a regular item for keeping things in.
Yeah,
I would
also
argue that a toilet is designed to keep
super separate things in.
We need to talk to you about your toilet habits.
Are you saying you don't flush the toilet, Rosie?
Do you just keep things in there?
I have
attachment it
can't let go.
Hence, Mr.
Pooh.
You make friends with all of them, yeah.
Keep it in there,
kids,
occasionally.
Andy's wearing boxing gloves in the studio.
This is, you know,
we're coming to the culmination of the whole series.
God knows what he's going to do next week.
But he's always been wearing something quite weird in the studio.
A lot of episodes anyway.
Did he ever explain what he was doing or did you ever even bother asking him?
No,
no, absolutely.
No fucking rhyme or reason.
What I enjoyed is
before
recording, we would all meet at the top of the
stairs to get a ride on
and that's when we all saw each other
in our outfit
and
Barbara always looks so cool.
Jack always looks so cool.
Emma, oh my god, love of my life.
Emma City
always
looks so beautiful.
I
every episode had a fucking gay outfit on every time.
and then Andy will come out
as a fucking pineapple or something
and all our bush would look and be like
yeah
okay
he will never echo blame it
We will never
want
him to echo blame it.
And we cracked on.
We cracked on.
Well, let's talk about the prize from Emma Siddy, the love of your life.
She has made a pair of jeans into a bag for holding baguettes.
This is
her best prize task, I think.
It's in the running with the moisturizer hat, but to me, this is so simple, so funny.
I thought this was great.
Again, we talked about Jack a lot, but I think
going
into
the series and you emerge a little bit but
not really and a great
joy was
A
getting
to know her more
but B
over the course of the series
you're seeing her
relax and allow
herself to be her true
authentic self friend.
Her true authentic self is a fucking word.
Like,
yeah, she's a genius, yes.
Yeah, it was absolutely fantastic.
So, it was one point for Bubba, two points for Jack, three points for your bra, Rosie, four points for Andy, and five points for Emma.
Who's next?
Bubba.
I bought a biscuit tin.
Yeah.
This thing is evil, right?
Whenever you see this, you're like, oh my days, biscuits.
I love biscuits.
I love Danish butter cookies.
And then you open them.
Uh-oh.
I've got bad news for you.
There's not a person in this room
who doesn't come from a household where a biscuit tin has been repurposed to store other things.
So, we all can agree that
it's a container
and is commonly used as such.
You were supposed to bring in the best item for keeping things in, that isn't just a regular item for keeping things in.
All right, my bad up, I messed up.
Let's talk about task one.
Walk, this is not your finest hour, this one, Rosie.
Walk exactly one furlong in exactly 10 minutes.
You may not make use of technology except to make three five-second phone calls.
Also, you may not remove your hat.
Closest to one furlong and ten minutes wins.
Your time starts now.
Now,
no phone calls made by you.
You're quite right, they show that.
What can I say
in 145 seconds?
Yeah, oh, it's a very good point, Rosie, because you spend, I'd say, the first 10 minutes of any phone call laughing and being excited that you're on the phone.
And then it'll be an insult.
And then, yeah, there's
ring, ring, hair, don't, don't,
don't, hat,
hey.
Yeah,
so
first thing I did was ignore that phone call bullshit
in terms of a furlong.
I knew it
had something
to do with horses.
So
I get
that it will be the
the size of a big horse.
So
so I walked about two meters
but something
I can do
very,
very well if I do say to myself is count.
So I
I just spent ten minutes.
I've been a little
counting myself.
Yeah, and you did do, I mean, you counted, you know, 10 minutes, 25 seconds.
It's pretty damn good in terms of getting the 10 minutes right.
But yeah,
the furlong things drew you a bit.
I love the phone calls thing.
You know, I hadn't even made that connection that three, five-second phone calls to you is pointless.
It also really...
It also really speaks to the people who said that I bet they make loads of allowances for Rosie because they absolutely haven't.
No, no,
absolutely not.
We
text each other in
the beginning of the series
because you
got a sneak peek and we both said
probably
the best thing about
this whole series
is the
dickheads on on social media
who say oh my god Culture Rose is
disabled
she will win
every single show it PC on right
no
absolutely not
if I done
anything
during the series
I think I shown that
disabled people
can be
shit
and you know, terrible people and rude as well.
Yeah,
we as disabled people
have the right to be me,
stupid,
bastard.
You're slag
everyone knows.
Damn right, damn right.
That is amazing.
So, yes, you you only walked took 24 steps,
so
you didn't quite make the furlong.
Other people did better on the furlong, but not quite as well on the time.
Andy did one hundred and ninety-seven yards, which is not far off the furlong,
but but does eight minutes, 45 seconds.
Of course, somehow connects it with cricket.
Was it?
I mean, did they have to edit out some of Andy's cricket stuff in the studio?
Oh, God, yeah.
Yes.
Oh, no, say, yes, I to him,
hello, Andy.
How are you?
And they will go cricket.
Cricket, cricket, cricket.
I love
I do
think it really
said.
I wrote very
cricket all day,
every day, and yeah,
there was a lot of nodding, not knowing what the fucking shit
he was banging on about.
Well, look, the cricket thing came in handy for him here because it was uh, it's the length of a cricket run, I think, or something like that.
Um, but yeah, he did he did very, very well there.
Um, Bubba, I mean, Bubba's techniques on some of these things are crazy.
To call someone,
ask them what a furlong is, they're clearly confused, then immediately call them back is is crazy
i mean
i
don't don't want to insult
babba yes you do i yeah
i
i do not think baba saw one
minute of the show before he did the show
and as i think for the majority of the time,
he wasn't sure where he was
or what he was
doing.
Yeah, I mean, but what he's very good at, even if it's not good at the tasks, he's very good at wisdom and positivity.
Yeah.
And I loved the wisdom about, you know, there's always got to be the first person to do something in life.
You've got to be brave.
And I think he was saying he was the first person to do any of this stuff before.
And, you know, I love it.
I will happily get a little book of Baba quotes to help me through life.
That's it.
Very positive.
Often.
Very wrong.
The positivity
is there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But often very wrong.
Let's not forget that.
He gets nine minutes, 57 seconds, which is very, very impressive in terms of the timing and 243 yards.
Again, very, very good.
You know, we know he gets to five points in this.
Really, really impressive, but I don't feel like he knew why he did it so well.
Jack calls his agent.
We've only ever seen this once on the show before.
Russell Howard
called his agent.
I love it when Comics'
first port of call is.
I'm going to call my agent.
They can sort this out for me.
Yeah.
I also
really
enjoyed that because
me and Jack are with the same agency
but different
agents
and
I really
enjoyed the idea of him
ringing Faye immediately because
I
in a million years
I love my agent
so much,
but I am not ringing her
for the life of me.
I love her, but she scares
the living shit telling me
that I know
what
confidence
take off.
Tell you who's not busy right now.
The woman controls a my entire
career.
Also, I don't know an off-the-curb agent worth their salt who would knowingly have their voice on an Avalon production.
Jack eventually has to call.
I mean, I loved it when the agent doesn't answer, and Alex is going, like, oh, you're not one of their top clients.
What
I would have really
enjoyed in hindsight
is if I had rung
his agent
and
she, I bet she would have picked up
for me
straight away.
Oh, can I tell you a quick story
about ringing people?
So you know the pub
quiz
price
task.
Yeah.
I didn't know that pub quiz task.
Yeah.
Um I um
I didn't make the edit, but you know there was a part about
Sue Perkins
and there was a number
in her phone book.
It wasn't her
real number,
but I
did not know that
and I'm friendly.
So I rank
the real
super
shoo
mid task
and
baby mind I'd never rank her before
never
said
something something
a cold call
from
someone she probably
met on the panel show
four
years
ago
and I make a blessing.
She texts me back immediately
and I say I'm in the VO booth
Can I bring it back in 10 minutes
and then
the brilliant Andy Debin chip then had to step in
and be like can you stop
ringing the real
shin book
that is so funny.
Oh my god.
Jack eventually calls his son and
his son tells him it's 200 meters
and Jack stomps it out.
I mean look
Jack just drags himself through all of these tasks quite a lot doesn't he?
Again I can bang on a bad chat D all day
um
and as a
fun
attachment
when I found out um
who were doing the show
I was so excited
but at the same time
I didn't know
how we would play it because
sometimes when a
contestant is
too down
on the show.
It doesn't come across
very well
because you need to lean into it.
But their
balance
jacked up throughout the series
of
being
100%
a jackdee
you know and you won
from the show,
but also that
slight crack or when you see that he
is enjoying it, he is having fun,
it's so joyful and he does it so well.
He really does, and a lot of it's when he's with you as well.
I'd say your relentless positivity eventually eventually cracks on multiple occasions, which is very, very fun to watch.
But also, you're right, he leans into the tasks.
Like, if you think about the
art task where he dressed up as Van Gogh, like, he nailed it and he clearly thought about it, but still manages to do it by looking like he doesn't want to do it.
Yeah, yeah, it's such a great balance, and yeah, that's why for me it's a
star of the series.
I just love him
so much.
Well also I think you two as a team are incredible and we'll
talk about it more but surely there's got to be some sort of travel show in the offing.
I mean we're hoping
I'll say it on record right now.
I am willing
to go the ends of the earth
with my comedy hero,
Jack D.
And
knowing him
as I do,
he will not say the same thing
We just talk about Emma's effort here.
Emma calls her mum who tells her it's eight miles.
So funny.
I honestly think it just shows you some of Emma's efforts in the tasks.
You can link directly back to clearly what her mum's like.
Just perfect.
It's really, really good.
Yeah, and she does it 11 minutes, which is very good.
But, you know, eight miles is quite far off.
Yeah,
not good at all.
Yeah, I think what we learn from this task
is
no nobody I'm very good at time
and or
walking.
Yeah, but apart from Baba, who does well,
you got one point, Rosie, two points for Jack, three points for Emma, four points for Andy, and the big five for Baba.
Jack was the only person to work out that you could get a call back, which paid dividends.
Yeah.
I have a problem with that.
That's technology.
That's still using technology to answer the call, isn't it?
Well, you're right.
I did say you can't use technology except to make three phone calls, but then the phone rang and it was his son and it might have been an emergency.
I think picking up a phone is using tech.
You always say that.
You did also look at your watch and claim that it's not technology, it's decorative.
Is this tech?
It's not a Brussels sprout.
On your wrist, is it?
Task two, clean the most profound picture of majestic nature onto a dirty thing.
You have 20 minutes, your time starts now.
So here we go.
You make a plate of brown stuff and you smash your face into it.
Yeah.
Job done.
What more do you want?
They wouldn't let me shit on the plate.
Did you genuinely ask?
Did you want to do that?
Yeah.
Um,
You know what,
you know what,
I got mopped in this stask.
But I think
my
portrait on that chocolate
plate
was
something majestic.
And I
stand by my chocolate.
I do, I do.
Yeah, I do think that by the time it was done,
it did look quite beautiful.
When you put the hair in and you'd done all of that, I thought that was great.
But it comes from a place of real arrogance, Rosie.
You thought the first and only thing you thought of as majestic nature was your own face smashed into a plate of Nutella.
So we filmed that house
about a year ago now,
and I've thought
about it a lot more in the past year.
And
how you honestly can't think of anything more majestic
than my own
face.
And if anything, it's only got more majestic in the last year, Rosie.
So
it was a very good effort.
It was certainly better than Andy's.
I don't know what Andy was doing.
It felt like he had a breakdown.
It's really, really horrific.
It looks like something they'd find in a serial killer's garage on a Netflix documentary.
The
dirty mannequin leg that he said is Italy, puts foam on it, he puts hot sauce on it.
It's really worrying, I thought.
I think
as a
humanity,
we really
should
be grateful that Andy chose a career in comedy
because
I do think his
second option would have been a serial killer.
That's why he has to wear boxing gloves so he can't strangle anyone on the show.
Yeah, yeah, Rady DO4 is single-handedly
I don't know what he was thinking with this one.
It was really weird.
It was really odd.
And look, Italy is, you know, majestic nature.
I saw what he was doing with Mount Etna, but it did seem like he didn't quite know what to do and he just threw loads of things on a leg.
Yeah.
It was
terrifying.
Eber called it toxic, which is the the perfect description for it, I think.
Yeah.
Jack dirties the caravan window and does the the London skyline, which doesn't really feel like the London skyline to me feels like the destruction of nature rather than majestic nature.
That's it, but it did
look
beautiful.
Yeah, it was good.
And that's what
Josh was saying.
One he has an idea
that
beauty that comes out of that baby
bastard?
It's
amazing.
Yeah, it was, it was, it did look beautiful.
And then with Emma's song as well on top of it, I mean, it looked
stunning.
It really stirred me.
Let's talk about Baba because this is so weird.
Because I love the power washer.
Using the the power washer is such a good idea.
And doing the tree is a good idea.
Why would you then say it's also a tribute to the Jackson Plan?
Just say it's a tree.
That was so funny.
Because
if I
hadn't been any
closure to Baba
unless she did it.
I would have physically
stopped him talking because
I was like, you had a
great tree.
Now shut.
Shut the
book.
Yeah, just he's done a tree.
It looks like a tree.
He's power washed it into a dirty driveway.
He's done the task perfectly.
And then he says, and it's also a tribute to the Jackson fire.
Yeah, yeah,
absolutely bought himself.
He still did very well, but I think, I think that, I mean, he got four points.
I don't think he could have done better because
Emma's New Zealand
in a pile of mud.
I don't understand how she did that.
That was incredible.
Yeah.
Judge Emma
and Amin
is it a self-portrait of the most
beautiful woman alive Rosie Jones
no
but
it came a close second to me yes I mean not in the show you you only get three points in the show
but you you feel like if there was any justice in the world you would have got the five points yeah yeah yeah Maybe, I mean, I guess the most beautiful thing would be you lying in a New Zealand landscape, maybe.
Oh,
can I be naked?
If you want,
okay.
But if you're naked, where are you going to keep your banana?
Well,
as I was saying it, I was like, oh, you've forgotten who you're talking to here.
Oh, gosh,
in my belly book.
Of course,
of course,
your huge banana-shaped belly button.
It was two points for Andy, three points for you, Rosie, four points for Jack and Baba, and five points for Emma's New Zealand mud portrait.
When I first heard of this task, I thought, well, Jones will probably do something in shit
straight away.
But I was disappointed that you joined the Pooh party.
Cheeky ladies.
Cheeky.
Cheeky pooing ladies.
Well, what fell poo?
So there might be poo involved.
That was a disappointing follow-up to there will be blood.
Task three, place all the balls in the gutter and the the gutter on the cow.
The gutter must not enter the dome.
You must not use anything floppy during your attempt.
For every ball you touch, one minute will be added to your time.
For every ball that touches the floor, ten minutes will be added to your time.
The task is over when the full gutter of balls is balancing by itself on the cow.
Fastest wins, your time starts now.
So, very complicated when you read it out loud.
You seem really perturbed by this one, Rosie.
Yeah, basically
that was a
in the series
where I thought by
Alex Horn
really
does
hate disabled people.
I was very
offended at the
rule that stated
you cannot use anything floppy
which
essentially
discounted
me
from
taking part
in the dance.
The fact that it was
Barbara, Andy, and Emers
are three
absolutely
non-floppy, able-bodied people
doing their tasks.
Compared to
Jack
having to a cigar, a very floppy lady
holding a curly, whirly drain
just
a fucking disaster
from start to finish.
I mean, Emma's point was that your floppiness aside, you didn't have to pick the curly pipe.
The curly pipe was very much within your control.
I said it about Mr.
Poo, I'll say it again.
again.
I didn't pick the curly pipe.
The curly pipe pit.
I mean, it was
so funny every time the ball went in one end of the curly pipe and then flew out the other end.
It was like the Chuckle Brothers or something.
Oh, it was great.
I loved it.
I mean, look,
you laid the cow on its side using the spoons and that that was it.
That was all smart.
Yes, that's it.
I was
very,
very
happy to think
about laying a cow on their side.
Did we do
a little bit worse than the team of
three non-disciplined people
absolute
loosely
but we tip to
a cow show
really who were the real winners they are by about an hour and a bit um
okay
i think this is the task where uh you shouted at baba in the studio as well it really made me laugh just absolutely completely just went baba i've got cerebral pause
is the fact
that I think
there have been times where
Greg has
rightly so
been quite harsh on me and
called me out for
using the disabled cow willy-nilly.
But they say probably
there won't time in the series that I was like
no
this was not fair so for fucking Baba to come at me I was like
absolutely fucking not your bastard
you're gonna get it
Yes, you you dropped six balls as a team which meant you added on quite a lot of time there.
Emma, Andy, and Babba, of course, they did it in eight minutes.
They didn't drop any balls.
They managed to unlock the kitchen.
When Babba finds the key, Emma shouts, Oh my god, I'm obsessed with my team.
It's a very positive team atmosphere.
Yeah, well done, them.
Well done.
Well, that's it, we did.
Really?
They did win that catch, but in the grand game uploads did they
not breathe for 17 minutes at birth
are
any
of them
literal living miracles
well
no so
really
who was the real winner here
Again, it is them if you're thinking about points, but no, I see.
I'll take your one.
It was five points for Andy, Bubber, and Emma, and three points for Captain Jackie and the Living Miracle.
So, the team of two.
Did it pretty quickly?
You do get 10 minutes added on for every ball that touches the floor.
Can you tell us how many?
There were six balls that struck the floor, so that is an extra hour.
Oh, funny, isn't it?
Isn't it funny?
One hour, 19 minutes, and 16 seconds.
Plays eight minutes.
The team of three.
They were nine and a half times slower.
That's the difference between the speed of a cheetah and a running duck.
Points-wise, they obviously get five, but how many?
They did complete the task.
Well, there's got to be a golf if there's that big a time golf.
Yes.
Tell me the times again.
The team of three with six good arms, eight minutes, 21 actually, if that changed anything.
And the team of two, one hour, 19 minutes, and 16 minutes.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
What's all of this?
Barbara!
I'm confused!
You picked a curly pipe.
Let's talk about the live task.
Predict whether each item will float or sink.
If you are right, you get a point.
Most points wins.
Did you enjoy doing the live tasks, Rosie?
No.
No.
They,
um,
so
I got very
nervous because I was secretly quite competitive
and um
I'm not giving any spoilers
because I'm not telling you about where I was
in my
mental headspace
going
into this live task.
I think up until the beginning of this episode
I thought I could pull it back.
I thought
I was in the running
to win the whole series
and
after
the abyss movements
throughout this entire episode
I was like, yeah, I've not got this.
So I went into
this
land touch
with the
really
mantra
of what's her fucking point.
Yeah,
sometimes that happens, happen to me as well.
You know, it's you, but at least this wasn't like one where, you know, you had to throw something or actually had to physically do anything.
It was just guessing.
No.
it annoys me these.
These ones are not because it's Alex being a prong, isn't it?
So it's him being like, Oh, is this duck gonna float?
And he's filled it with cement or something like that.
Yeah.
Oh, is this a duck gonna flam?
How about
this identico duck?
It's how get
out
of my own head,
you fucking dickhead,
and get a
fucking life.
Well, look, you did you, uh, Baba, and Emma all got five correct guesses.
Uh, Jack got six, and Andy somehow with eight correct guesses.
It was a stunning effort from Andy, um, meaning uh, that Andy, of course, uh, gets the five points in that task, leaving the episode scores.
You are bottom, sadly, of this episode on 13 points.
Uh, Jack on 15, Baba on 18, Andy on 20, and another victory for Emma on 21 points.
Meaning that Andy is now in the lead in the series with 146, only just ahead of Jack, who has 143.
Baba, a little bit further behind on 137, Emma close behind Baba on 136, and you on 1-2-3, 123 points, Rosie, going into the final episode.
And as I said before,
I am all
or nothing
and
um
I stick by it and
I made the bottom
I said it before
I really
enjoy a bit of
the bottom
Well look we don't know what's going to happen in the final episode of course of Of course, you do, but we, as the viewer, do not know.
But, of course, if you do come bottom, you'll be joining such luminaries as Nish Kumar.
How do you feel about that?
Fuck
that
guy.
Fuck
that
guy.
Wait, what did do you know what?
Over
Shagore he got?
I don't, but I suspect you've already got more than him.
And and okay also he did have less episodes though they didn't do the full ten in his series
yeah you I mean that wins any argument Rosie well done
thank you so much for coming on the Taskmaster podcast you've been absolutely amazing oh thank you I'm gonna go and eat my banana now.
We always ask our guests to rate their experience on the Taskmaster podcast between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster.
We hope you've had a good time today, but feel free to give us an honest point score, Rosie.
And I'm absolutely dreading what you're going to say here.
Am I
very
in the podcast or am I very in you what as a person.
Why don't you give us two separate scores?
Okay,
okay.
So, the poll catch
five
because
I
it very unlike me to be
sincere,
but honestly, the entire match that
was the most
fun
about
in my career I've been a fan of the show
since the beginning
and so to get the opportunity to do it was a dream come true so to be able to
relive that
and talk about it.
Yeah,
very good.
Five points.
Okay.
You
as a
person,
yeah, yeah, it will be a strong,
solid
one point,
one
point, just
all for human being.
Not a great guy.
than gold it's only
your podcast
because
I've had to
stare at your fucking ugly face
You need to short your life out
You need to sort your face out You need
to short your career out.
One point, yeah.
Okay, fair enough.
I thought that might be the direction it was going in.
Thank you, Rosie.
Thank you so much for coming on the podcast, Rosie.
You are, you are, of course, welcome back anytime, but it will still be me hosting it.
Oh,
well,
um, yeah, I will never return.
Thank you so much.
Bye, Rosie.
Thank you so much to Rosie for coming on the podcast.
And I mean,
what a fantastic end there.
As she absolutely decimated me and reduced me to rubble.
But that might be one of my favourite episodes we've ever recorded.
Rosie is absolutely brilliant.
So fun to be able to talk to her about that episode.
We will be back next week, of course, with the winner.
The winner will be coming on the show because we'll be talking about the final episode.
So it's the winner's lap of honor episode.
Can't wait, can't wait for the final.
It'll be sad to say goodbye to this series, but what a series it's been.
We'll be back next week, straight after the episode goes out.
Channel 4, 9 p.m.
Taskmaster Series 18 finale episode next week.
Bye-bye.