Ep 180. Rosie Jones - S18 Ep.9

Speaker 1 Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast.

Speaker 1 It's me, Ed Gamble, and of course we are going to be talking about Taskmaster Series 18, episode 9, the penultimate episode of what has been a brilliant series of Taskmaster.

Speaker 1 And I'm so excited that we have today as our special guest a competitor in series 18 of Taskmaster the wonderful Rosie Jones Rosie will be coming on to talk about her Taskmaster experience as a whole this episode specifically and primarily to tear strips off me I'd imagine so I hope you're all looking forward to that very much I cannot wait to speak to Rosie always love chatting to her Hopefully you've seen this episode.

Speaker 1 If you haven't, get yourself onto channel4.com

Speaker 1 and ready yourself. But Leah, let's just get on with it.
This is Taskmaster Series 18, episode 9, as discussed by Rosie Jones.

Speaker 1 Welcome, Rosie Jones, to the Taskmaster podcast.

Speaker 2 Oh my God,

Speaker 2 I am so excited.

Speaker 2 I have worked out

Speaker 2 the next

Speaker 2 10 hours.

Speaker 2 Are you ready?

Speaker 1 I'm ready. I'm going to leave after an hour, if that's alright.
And then you can just carry on for nine.

Speaker 2 Actually,

Speaker 2 that is an ideal situation.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 I'm already going to say the worst

Speaker 2 part of this episode

Speaker 2 will be

Speaker 2 you.

Speaker 2 That's fair enough.

Speaker 1 That's always the case, I'd say.

Speaker 2 I very rarely bring anything to these episodes, Rosie.

Speaker 2 It's nice.

Speaker 1 It's nice that even within the first minute, you managed to absolutely take me down.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But would you want

Speaker 2 anything other

Speaker 2 than that?

Speaker 1 No, I'd be really creeped out if you were suddenly nice to me, Rosie.

Speaker 2 It would be so weird.

Speaker 2 Um, Eggambo, you need to accept

Speaker 2 that you are

Speaker 2 and you always

Speaker 2 will be a

Speaker 2 piece of

Speaker 2 shit.

Speaker 2 Well, that is wonderful. Thank you so much, Rodney.

Speaker 2 What a delight it is to have you on the Taskmaster podcast.

Speaker 1 Look, you can afford to be this arrogant and this horrible to me because you're absolutely killing it on Taskmaster.

Speaker 1 You are one of my favorite contestants of all time, I'll say it. it.

Speaker 2 Thank you. And I'd like to really

Speaker 2 question

Speaker 2 your definition

Speaker 2 of

Speaker 2 killing it

Speaker 2 because

Speaker 2 if we're talking points,

Speaker 2 no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I don't know. You're doing all right because everyone is pretty much on the same level.

Speaker 1 I mean, look, we're on episode nine, we're going to be talking about episode nine, so maybe everyone started pulling away from you a little bit at this point, right?

Speaker 1 But killing it in terms of you are very, very funny on it, you are nailing a lot of the prize tasks, you're very good at those,

Speaker 1 and you introduced the world to Mr. Pooh.
So

Speaker 1 I don't know what else you could ask for.

Speaker 2 Mitch the Pooh, a lot of people say,

Speaker 2 how did you come up with Mr.

Speaker 2 Pooh?

Speaker 2 And I really just say

Speaker 2 Mr.

Speaker 2 Pooh found me.

Speaker 1 It was, honestly, I've never seen anything that's more up my street. And it's so mature, so gross.
Just, and no one else is going to do that on there. It's all that's classic, Jones.

Speaker 2 But that was the thing

Speaker 2 so many tats

Speaker 2 i had done

Speaker 2 and as you know there's about

Speaker 2 four or five months

Speaker 2 between the

Speaker 2 hats

Speaker 2 so what you do on your own and then there's studio

Speaker 2 and thought so many

Speaker 2 of my tasks

Speaker 2 I was like well,

Speaker 2 I did the most obvious thing,

Speaker 2 and then you see what everyone else

Speaker 2 does, and you go,

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 oh no,

Speaker 2 oh, there's something

Speaker 2 very wrong

Speaker 2 with my mind.

Speaker 2 Like

Speaker 2 a great

Speaker 2 example is the push the envelope

Speaker 2 task.

Speaker 2 I honestly thought

Speaker 2 all five of us

Speaker 2 would eat

Speaker 2 the envelope.

Speaker 2 It's it's hoping

Speaker 2 not at all.

Speaker 1 I just love the idea of you smearing Nutella all over a big fake poo, going, well, everyone else is going to be doing this.

Speaker 2 Obviously,

Speaker 2 also,

Speaker 2 I did

Speaker 2 up for them,

Speaker 2 as we'll talk about

Speaker 2 later in the episode.

Speaker 2 My mind

Speaker 2 often went to

Speaker 2 if I can't eat it,

Speaker 2 can I shit it out?

Speaker 2 And that, that,

Speaker 2 that's a binary

Speaker 2 of

Speaker 2 my journey across the series.

Speaker 2 Eat it or shit it.

Speaker 1 Does that count as a journey when you went in thinking eat it or shit it and you finished the series thinking eat it or shit it?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 2 yeah. And really,

Speaker 2 that's what we're talking about.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 as you could see over the whole series,

Speaker 2 I am all on up and

Speaker 2 I am

Speaker 2 bringing you a whole new concept,

Speaker 2 a whole new idea,

Speaker 2 or

Speaker 2 I cannot be fucking asked,

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 I'm bringing you a sack share bowl.

Speaker 2 And that's it.

Speaker 1 That was exactly what I thought of when you were saying that because your prize tasks, I'd say half of them have been the best prize tasks I've ever seen. I'm talking about the coffin in particular.

Speaker 1 The letter opener was just a genius stroke way to kick off the series.

Speaker 1 And then suddenly the quality drops off so rapidly with a saxophone and a picture picture of you giving the double thumbs up wearing a saxophone on your back.

Speaker 2 Honestly,

Speaker 2 I'll give you everything

Speaker 2 or I will give you nothing.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 either go hard or go home.

Speaker 1 Right, well, we should talk about this episode in particular then before you decide to go home.

Speaker 1 Before we do, I should just say we did a little bit of digging because at the beginning of this episode, Greg gives Alex's money to an audience member, and we have had it confirmed that that audience member did leave with the money.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 they did make all of that money.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, Dan.

Speaker 2 I say should

Speaker 2 I say it before,

Speaker 2 I'm saying it again.

Speaker 2 Alex Horn

Speaker 2 deserves

Speaker 2 nothing.

Speaker 1 Do you mean Alex deserves nothing for the show?

Speaker 1 He came up with the show, he writes all the tasks, you feel like he deserves nothing.

Speaker 2 Everything in life,

Speaker 2 take away his

Speaker 2 home,

Speaker 2 his lifestyle, his clothes,

Speaker 2 and his money.

Speaker 2 So I really

Speaker 2 believe we did the right thing.

Speaker 2 Taking away a little

Speaker 2 money

Speaker 2 and giving it to a member of that audience. Good.

Speaker 1 I'm glad we got that sorted. So, let's talk about the prize task, which is the best item for keeping things in that it that isn't just a regular item for keeping things in.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about yours straight away, Rosie.

Speaker 2 You went with me. Well,

Speaker 2 yeah, yeah, obviously,

Speaker 2 and I feel like

Speaker 2 we haven't had

Speaker 2 enough

Speaker 2 depth like

Speaker 2 evidence

Speaker 2 of how great their bra is.

Speaker 2 So, sorry, it's uh

Speaker 2 not a v-shoo on me day, and

Speaker 2 I am am coming

Speaker 2 Rosie's un Rosie's unzipping her top as she's speaking to me yeah please could you narrate

Speaker 2 what I'm about to do well Rosie is unzipping her

Speaker 2 top

Speaker 2 and she's digging she's digging around she's digging around in her chest area

Speaker 2 and she's pulled out a pajama

Speaker 2 There's a banana in there. She showed me the banana.

Speaker 1 I mean, look, and you know what?

Speaker 2 We were chatting for a bit before that.

Speaker 1 At no point did I think Rosie's got a banana in her bra.

Speaker 1 So, you know, that's it's an amazing thing. It's an amazing thing to carry things in.
Even a banana.

Speaker 1 Is that a regular snack that you keep in your bra, Rosie?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So I'll be honest with the Ed, it's not my favorite prize task.

Speaker 2 It's not a saxophone,

Speaker 2 but at the same time, it's not the dizzy height

Speaker 2 of

Speaker 2 my

Speaker 2 own coffin.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 we are middle of the road.

Speaker 2 Also,

Speaker 2 behind the curtain, it wasn't my first

Speaker 2 choice,

Speaker 2 but I couldn't use

Speaker 2 my first choice

Speaker 2 because it would have been a repeat price.

Speaker 2 I would have brought

Speaker 2 my own belly button

Speaker 2 because,

Speaker 2 as you know from episode one,

Speaker 2 I do

Speaker 2 keep a lot of varied items:

Speaker 2 fluff,

Speaker 2 food,

Speaker 2 stationery

Speaker 2 in my own belly button so yeah I'll put the hand up

Speaker 2 middle of the road

Speaker 2 but still

Speaker 2 quite a functional item

Speaker 1 yeah and you've proved it right now you've proved it today with the uh with the secret banana so that was uh a very a very good prize as far as I'm concerned um but yeah middle of the road it did get three points um but uh Baba got the one um because we have to remember that the best item for keeping things in that isn't just a regular item for keeping things in, is the prize task category.

Speaker 1 And Baba brought in a biscuit tin with a sewing kit in it, lovely bit of observation from Baba,

Speaker 2 but

Speaker 1 a biscuit tin is a regular item for keeping things in, yeah, and I love that realization on his face when he says, My bad, I messed up.

Speaker 2 I own it, say, Lord Baba, well no, no, say baby, and now Lord Baba,

Speaker 2 a little bit enthusiastic as him. I think he's so,

Speaker 2 so funny.

Speaker 2 I think

Speaker 2 when it comes to the price tax,

Speaker 2 Baba

Speaker 2 was so

Speaker 2 fucking shit.

Speaker 2 Every single light page out and you could see as the savage run on it dawned on him

Speaker 2 how

Speaker 2 truly shit he was.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, he did absolutely deserve that one point.

Speaker 1 But with Bubba as well, the first week was bad. And you could see in his eyes he was like, oh, I've messed up here.

Speaker 1 I think I've not fully understood what this is. But then you do have a chance to change them going forward.

Speaker 1 You could change them if you find out you're on the wrong sort of rhythm for it but he didn't did he no he just cracked on with it no he committed

Speaker 2 he called them bass

Speaker 2 he sacked himself

Speaker 2 right

Speaker 2 through their service

Speaker 1 Well, Jack also sackophones himself in this episode. He brings in a village, I mean, this is funny.
A village Christmas scene, and he says it's for holding batteries in the battery compartment.

Speaker 1 Which really made me laugh, but it is, it's a very Jack joke in that he's just gone, I can't really be bothered, I'm grumpy about this. So here's just the first thing I've thought of.

Speaker 1 But it did make me laugh that, you know, sometimes it drains them.

Speaker 2 All of that chat was very funny.

Speaker 2 That almond and we'll talk about it later in the team chat.

Speaker 2 But honestly,

Speaker 2 so many

Speaker 2 highlights of this series

Speaker 2 was about Jackie. He was a hero

Speaker 2 of Minecraft.

Speaker 2 I got to be on the team with him.

Speaker 2 Sit next to him. Have my boy, my captain, Jackie,

Speaker 2 with me through what was a dream come true so

Speaker 2 if he

Speaker 2 brought in a literal Peter shit

Speaker 2 as a price that

Speaker 2 I would have still given him five points cause he's my hero well that's nice to hear you say that sincerely Rosie because you did say that on the show when you were trying to make him feel absolutely awful for

Speaker 1 screwing everything up and in that team task where he had his head through the portrait.

Speaker 2 You know what? It's been a few months. I held on to that anger for quite some time.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 me and Captain Jackie did

Speaker 2 a lot of joint counselling, and we're okay now.

Speaker 2 We're okay.

Speaker 1 I think Captain Jackie and the Hot Dog is one of my favourite team names that has ever been on Taskmaster. And also, just that

Speaker 1 your two vibes, we'll talk about it more when we talk about the team Tilesmaster. Your two vibes of you singing Captain Jackie and the Hot Dog and Jack just sat there so tired.

Speaker 1 You've just made him so tired across the day.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 don't know if it ever made the edit,

Speaker 2 but

Speaker 2 one of my funniest things they said was,

Speaker 2 I think it was our boost ever team touch.

Speaker 2 I went,

Speaker 2 I'm excited, Jackie. Are you excited?

Speaker 2 And he just

Speaker 2 stood

Speaker 2 very

Speaker 2 still

Speaker 2 and took it in.

Speaker 2 And when

Speaker 2 I'm getting there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, that won't get there.

Speaker 2 I'm getting there.

Speaker 1 You don't have time to get there when you're hanging out with you, though. You need to be there with you straight away, Captain Jackie and the hot dog.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about Andy's prize task, which he brings in a toilet that he says you can put snooker balls, a lobster, an almanac, and a calculator,

Speaker 1 and loads of stuff in the cistern as well. Of course, there's a Cricket-based thing, a dollar WG Grace, the Elixir of Life.

Speaker 1 It's a very Andy Prize, just very complicated, loads of layers upon layers upon layers.

Speaker 1 I mean, I would argue it's not a great item for keeping things in that isn't a regular item for keeping things in.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I would

Speaker 2 also

Speaker 2 argue that a toilet is designed to keep

Speaker 2 super separate things in.

Speaker 1 We need to talk to you about your toilet habits.

Speaker 2 Are you saying you don't flush the toilet, Rosie? Do you just keep things in there?

Speaker 2 I have

Speaker 2 attachment it

Speaker 2 can't let go.

Speaker 2 Hence, Mr. Pooh.
You make friends with all of them, yeah.

Speaker 2 Keep it in there,

Speaker 2 kids,

Speaker 2 occasionally.

Speaker 1 Andy's wearing boxing gloves in the studio. This is, you know,

Speaker 1 we're coming to the culmination of the whole series. God knows what he's going to do next week.
But he's always been wearing something quite weird in the studio. A lot of episodes anyway.

Speaker 1 Did he ever explain what he was doing or did you ever even bother asking him?

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 no, absolutely.

Speaker 2 No fucking rhyme or reason.

Speaker 2 What I enjoyed is

Speaker 2 before

Speaker 2 recording, we would all meet at the top of the

Speaker 2 stairs to get a ride on

Speaker 2 and that's when we all saw each other

Speaker 2 in our outfit

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 Barbara always looks so cool.

Speaker 2 Jack always looks so cool.

Speaker 2 Emma, oh my god, love of my life.

Speaker 2 Emma City

Speaker 2 always

Speaker 2 looks so beautiful.

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 every episode had a fucking gay outfit on every time.

Speaker 2 and then Andy will come out

Speaker 2 as a fucking pineapple or something

Speaker 2 and all our bush would look and be like

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 okay

Speaker 2 he will never echo blame it

Speaker 2 We will never

Speaker 2 want

Speaker 2 him to echo blame it. And we cracked on.

Speaker 2 We cracked on.

Speaker 1 Well, let's talk about the prize from Emma Siddy, the love of your life.

Speaker 1 She has made a pair of jeans into a bag for holding baguettes. This is

Speaker 1 her best prize task, I think. It's in the running with the moisturizer hat, but to me, this is so simple, so funny.
I thought this was great.

Speaker 2 Again, we talked about Jack a lot, but I think

Speaker 2 going

Speaker 2 into

Speaker 2 the series and you emerge a little bit but

Speaker 2 not really and a great

Speaker 2 joy was

Speaker 2 A

Speaker 2 getting

Speaker 2 to know her more

Speaker 2 but B

Speaker 2 over the course of the series

Speaker 2 you're seeing her

Speaker 2 relax and allow

Speaker 2 herself to be her true

Speaker 2 authentic self friend.

Speaker 2 Her true authentic self is a fucking word.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 yeah, she's a genius, yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was absolutely fantastic.

Speaker 1 So, it was one point for Bubba, two points for Jack, three points for your bra, Rosie, four points for Andy, and five points for Emma. Who's next? Bubba.
I bought a biscuit tin.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 This thing is evil, right?

Speaker 1 Whenever you see this, you're like, oh my days, biscuits. I love biscuits.
I love Danish butter cookies.

Speaker 2 And then you open them.

Speaker 2 Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 I've got bad news for you.

Speaker 1 There's not a person in this room

Speaker 1 who doesn't come from a household where a biscuit tin has been repurposed to store other things.

Speaker 2 So, we all can agree that

Speaker 1 it's a container

Speaker 2 and is commonly used as such.

Speaker 1 You were supposed to bring in the best item for keeping things in, that isn't just a regular item for keeping things in.

Speaker 2 All right, my bad up, I messed up.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about task one. Walk, this is not your finest hour, this one, Rosie.
Walk exactly one furlong in exactly 10 minutes.

Speaker 1 You may not make use of technology except to make three five-second phone calls. Also, you may not remove your hat.
Closest to one furlong and ten minutes wins. Your time starts now.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 1 no phone calls made by you.

Speaker 1 You're quite right, they show that.

Speaker 1 What can I say

Speaker 2 in 145 seconds?

Speaker 1 Yeah, oh, it's a very good point, Rosie, because you spend, I'd say, the first 10 minutes of any phone call laughing and being excited that you're on the phone.

Speaker 1 And then it'll be an insult.

Speaker 2 And then, yeah, there's

Speaker 2 ring, ring, hair, don't, don't,

Speaker 2 don't, hat,

Speaker 2 hey.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 2 first thing I did was ignore that phone call bullshit

Speaker 2 in terms of a furlong.

Speaker 2 I knew it

Speaker 2 had something

Speaker 2 to do with horses.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I get

Speaker 2 that it will be the

Speaker 2 the size of a big horse.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 so I walked about two meters

Speaker 2 but something

Speaker 2 I can do

Speaker 2 very,

Speaker 2 very well if I do say to myself is count.

Speaker 2 So I

Speaker 2 I just spent ten minutes. I've been a little

Speaker 2 counting myself.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you did do, I mean, you counted, you know, 10 minutes, 25 seconds. It's pretty damn good in terms of getting the 10 minutes right.
But yeah,

Speaker 1 the furlong things drew you a bit.

Speaker 1 I love the phone calls thing. You know, I hadn't even made that connection that three, five-second phone calls to you is pointless.

Speaker 1 It also really...

Speaker 1 It also really speaks to the people who said that I bet they make loads of allowances for Rosie because they absolutely haven't.

Speaker 2 No, no,

Speaker 2 absolutely not.

Speaker 2 We

Speaker 2 text each other in

Speaker 2 the beginning of the series

Speaker 2 because you

Speaker 2 got a sneak peek and we both said

Speaker 2 probably

Speaker 2 the best thing about

Speaker 2 this whole series

Speaker 2 is the

Speaker 2 dickheads on on social media

Speaker 2 who say oh my god Culture Rose is

Speaker 2 disabled

Speaker 2 she will win

Speaker 2 every single show it PC on right

Speaker 2 no

Speaker 2 absolutely not

Speaker 2 if I done

Speaker 2 anything

Speaker 2 during the series

Speaker 2 I think I shown that

Speaker 2 disabled people

Speaker 2 can be

Speaker 2 shit

Speaker 1 and you know, terrible people and rude as well. Yeah,

Speaker 2 we as disabled people

Speaker 2 have the right to be me,

Speaker 2 stupid,

Speaker 2 bastard.

Speaker 2 You're slag

Speaker 2 everyone knows.

Speaker 2 Damn right, damn right.

Speaker 1 That is amazing.

Speaker 1 So, yes, you you only walked took 24 steps,

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 1 you didn't quite make the furlong.

Speaker 1 Other people did better on the furlong, but not quite as well on the time.

Speaker 1 Andy did one hundred and ninety-seven yards, which is not far off the furlong,

Speaker 1 but but does eight minutes, 45 seconds. Of course, somehow connects it with cricket.
Was it? I mean, did they have to edit out some of Andy's cricket stuff in the studio?

Speaker 2 Oh, God, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, say, yes, I to him,

Speaker 2 hello, Andy. How are you? And they will go cricket.

Speaker 2 Cricket, cricket, cricket.

Speaker 2 I love

Speaker 2 I do

Speaker 2 think it really

Speaker 2 said.

Speaker 2 I wrote very

Speaker 2 cricket all day,

Speaker 2 every day, and yeah,

Speaker 2 there was a lot of nodding, not knowing what the fucking shit

Speaker 2 he was banging on about.

Speaker 1 Well, look, the cricket thing came in handy for him here because it was uh, it's the length of a cricket run, I think, or something like that. Um, but yeah, he did he did very, very well there.

Speaker 1 Um, Bubba, I mean, Bubba's techniques on some of these things are crazy. To call someone,

Speaker 1 ask them what a furlong is, they're clearly confused, then immediately call them back is is crazy

Speaker 1 i mean

Speaker 1 i

Speaker 2 don't don't want to insult

Speaker 2 babba yes you do i yeah

Speaker 2 i

Speaker 2 i do not think baba saw one

Speaker 2 minute of the show before he did the show

Speaker 2 and as i think for the majority of the time,

Speaker 2 he wasn't sure where he was

Speaker 2 or what he was

Speaker 2 doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, but what he's very good at, even if it's not good at the tasks, he's very good at wisdom and positivity. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I loved the wisdom about, you know, there's always got to be the first person to do something in life. You've got to be brave.

Speaker 1 And I think he was saying he was the first person to do any of this stuff before.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I love it. I will happily get a little book of Baba quotes to help me through life.

Speaker 2 That's it. Very positive.

Speaker 2 Often.

Speaker 2 Very wrong.

Speaker 2 The positivity

Speaker 2 is there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But often very wrong.

Speaker 2 Let's not forget that.

Speaker 1 He gets nine minutes, 57 seconds, which is very, very impressive in terms of the timing and 243 yards. Again, very, very good.
You know, we know he gets to five points in this.

Speaker 1 Really, really impressive, but I don't feel like he knew why he did it so well.

Speaker 1 Jack calls his agent.

Speaker 1 We've only ever seen this once on the show before.

Speaker 2 Russell Howard

Speaker 1 called his agent.

Speaker 1 I love it when Comics'

Speaker 1 first port of call is. I'm going to call my agent.
They can sort this out for me.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I also

Speaker 2 really

Speaker 2 enjoyed that because

Speaker 2 me and Jack are with the same agency

Speaker 2 but different

Speaker 2 agents

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 I really

Speaker 2 enjoyed the idea of him

Speaker 2 ringing Faye immediately because

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 in a million years

Speaker 2 I love my agent

Speaker 2 so much,

Speaker 2 but I am not ringing her

Speaker 2 for the life of me.

Speaker 2 I love her, but she scares

Speaker 2 the living shit telling me

Speaker 2 that I know

Speaker 2 what

Speaker 2 confidence

Speaker 2 take off.

Speaker 2 Tell you who's not busy right now.

Speaker 2 The woman controls a my entire

Speaker 2 career.

Speaker 1 Also, I don't know an off-the-curb agent worth their salt who would knowingly have their voice on an Avalon production.

Speaker 1 Jack eventually has to call. I mean, I loved it when the agent doesn't answer, and Alex is going, like, oh, you're not one of their top clients.

Speaker 1 What

Speaker 2 I would have really

Speaker 2 enjoyed in hindsight

Speaker 2 is if I had rung

Speaker 2 his agent

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 she, I bet she would have picked up

Speaker 2 for me

Speaker 2 straight away.

Speaker 2 Oh, can I tell you a quick story

Speaker 2 about ringing people?

Speaker 2 So you know the pub

Speaker 2 quiz

Speaker 2 price

Speaker 2 task.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I didn't know that pub quiz task.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Um I um

Speaker 2 I didn't make the edit, but you know there was a part about

Speaker 2 Sue Perkins

Speaker 2 and there was a number

Speaker 2 in her phone book.

Speaker 2 It wasn't her

Speaker 2 real number,

Speaker 2 but I

Speaker 2 did not know that

Speaker 2 and I'm friendly.

Speaker 2 So I rank

Speaker 2 the real

Speaker 2 super

Speaker 2 shoo

Speaker 2 mid task

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 baby mind I'd never rank her before

Speaker 2 never

Speaker 2 said

Speaker 2 something something

Speaker 2 a cold call

Speaker 2 from

Speaker 2 someone she probably

Speaker 2 met on the panel show

Speaker 2 four

Speaker 2 years

Speaker 2 ago

Speaker 2 and I make a blessing.

Speaker 2 She texts me back immediately

Speaker 2 and I say I'm in the VO booth

Speaker 2 Can I bring it back in 10 minutes

Speaker 2 and then

Speaker 2 the brilliant Andy Debin chip then had to step in

Speaker 2 and be like can you stop

Speaker 2 ringing the real

Speaker 2 shin book

Speaker 1 that is so funny.

Speaker 2 Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Jack eventually calls his son and

Speaker 1 his son tells him it's 200 meters

Speaker 1 and Jack stomps it out. I mean look

Speaker 1 Jack just drags himself through all of these tasks quite a lot doesn't he?

Speaker 2 Again I can bang on a bad chat D all day

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 and as a

Speaker 2 fun

Speaker 2 attachment

Speaker 2 when I found out um

Speaker 2 who were doing the show

Speaker 2 I was so excited

Speaker 2 but at the same time

Speaker 2 I didn't know

Speaker 2 how we would play it because

Speaker 2 sometimes when a

Speaker 2 contestant is

Speaker 2 too down

Speaker 2 on the show.

Speaker 2 It doesn't come across

Speaker 2 very well

Speaker 2 because you need to lean into it.

Speaker 2 But their

Speaker 2 balance

Speaker 2 jacked up throughout the series

Speaker 2 of

Speaker 2 being

Speaker 2 100%

Speaker 2 a jackdee

Speaker 2 you know and you won

Speaker 2 from the show,

Speaker 2 but also that

Speaker 2 slight crack or when you see that he

Speaker 2 is enjoying it, he is having fun,

Speaker 2 it's so joyful and he does it so well.

Speaker 1 He really does, and a lot of it's when he's with you as well. I'd say your relentless positivity eventually eventually cracks on multiple occasions, which is very, very fun to watch.

Speaker 1 But also, you're right, he leans into the tasks. Like, if you think about the

Speaker 1 art task where he dressed up as Van Gogh, like, he nailed it and he clearly thought about it, but still manages to do it by looking like he doesn't want to do it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, it's such a great balance, and yeah, that's why for me it's a

Speaker 2 star of the series. I just love him

Speaker 2 so much.

Speaker 1 Well also I think you two as a team are incredible and we'll

Speaker 1 talk about it more but surely there's got to be some sort of travel show in the offing.

Speaker 2 I mean we're hoping

Speaker 2 I'll say it on record right now.

Speaker 2 I am willing

Speaker 2 to go the ends of the earth

Speaker 2 with my comedy hero,

Speaker 2 Jack D.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 knowing him

Speaker 2 as I do,

Speaker 2 he will not say the same thing

Speaker 1 We just talk about Emma's effort here. Emma calls her mum who tells her it's eight miles.

Speaker 1 So funny. I honestly think it just shows you some of Emma's efforts in the tasks.
You can link directly back to clearly what her mum's like.

Speaker 2 Just perfect.

Speaker 1 It's really, really good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and she does it 11 minutes, which is very good. But, you know, eight miles is quite far off.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 not good at all.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think what we learn from this task

Speaker 2 is

Speaker 2 no nobody I'm very good at time

Speaker 2 and or

Speaker 2 walking.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but apart from Baba, who does well,

Speaker 1 you got one point, Rosie, two points for Jack, three points for Emma, four points for Andy, and the big five for Baba.

Speaker 1 Jack was the only person to work out that you could get a call back, which paid dividends.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I have a problem with that.
That's technology. That's still using technology to answer the call, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Well, you're right. I did say you can't use technology except to make three phone calls, but then the phone rang and it was his son and it might have been an emergency.

Speaker 2 I think picking up a phone is using tech.

Speaker 1 You always say that.

Speaker 1 You did also look at your watch and claim that it's not technology, it's decorative.

Speaker 2 Is this tech?

Speaker 1 It's not a Brussels sprout.

Speaker 2 On your wrist, is it?

Speaker 1 Task two, clean the most profound picture of majestic nature onto a dirty thing. You have 20 minutes, your time starts now.
So here we go.

Speaker 1 You make a plate of brown stuff and you smash your face into it.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Job done.

Speaker 2 What more do you want? They wouldn't let me shit on the plate.

Speaker 1 Did you genuinely ask?

Speaker 2 Did you want to do that? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Um,

Speaker 2 You know what,

Speaker 2 you know what,

Speaker 2 I got mopped in this stask.

Speaker 2 But I think

Speaker 2 my

Speaker 2 portrait on that chocolate

Speaker 2 plate

Speaker 2 was

Speaker 2 something majestic.

Speaker 2 And I

Speaker 2 stand by my chocolate. I do, I do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do think that by the time it was done,

Speaker 1 it did look quite beautiful.

Speaker 1 When you put the hair in and you'd done all of that, I thought that was great. But it comes from a place of real arrogance, Rosie.

Speaker 1 You thought the first and only thing you thought of as majestic nature was your own face smashed into a plate of Nutella.

Speaker 2 So we filmed that house

Speaker 2 about a year ago now,

Speaker 2 and I've thought

Speaker 2 about it a lot more in the past year. And

Speaker 2 how you honestly can't think of anything more majestic

Speaker 2 than my own

Speaker 2 face.

Speaker 1 And if anything, it's only got more majestic in the last year, Rosie. So

Speaker 2 it was a very good effort.

Speaker 1 It was certainly better than Andy's. I don't know what Andy was doing.
It felt like he had a breakdown. It's really, really horrific.

Speaker 1 It looks like something they'd find in a serial killer's garage on a Netflix documentary. The

Speaker 1 dirty mannequin leg that he said is Italy, puts foam on it, he puts hot sauce on it. It's really worrying, I thought.

Speaker 2 I think

Speaker 2 as a

Speaker 2 humanity,

Speaker 2 we really

Speaker 2 should

Speaker 2 be grateful that Andy chose a career in comedy

Speaker 2 because

Speaker 2 I do think his

Speaker 2 second option would have been a serial killer.

Speaker 1 That's why he has to wear boxing gloves so he can't strangle anyone on the show.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, Rady DO4 is single-handedly

Speaker 1 I don't know what he was thinking with this one. It was really weird.
It was really odd. And look, Italy is, you know, majestic nature.

Speaker 1 I saw what he was doing with Mount Etna, but it did seem like he didn't quite know what to do and he just threw loads of things on a leg.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was

Speaker 2 terrifying.

Speaker 1 Eber called it toxic, which is the the perfect description for it, I think.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jack dirties the caravan window and does the the London skyline, which doesn't really feel like the London skyline to me feels like the destruction of nature rather than majestic nature.

Speaker 2 That's it, but it did

Speaker 2 look

Speaker 2 beautiful. Yeah, it was good.

Speaker 2 And that's what

Speaker 2 Josh was saying.

Speaker 2 One he has an idea

Speaker 2 that

Speaker 2 beauty that comes out of that baby

Speaker 2 bastard?

Speaker 2 It's

Speaker 2 amazing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was, it was, it did look beautiful. And then with Emma's song as well on top of it, I mean, it looked

Speaker 1 stunning.

Speaker 1 It really stirred me.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about Baba because this is so weird. Because I love the power washer.
Using the the power washer is such a good idea.

Speaker 1 And doing the tree is a good idea.

Speaker 1 Why would you then say it's also a tribute to the Jackson Plan?

Speaker 1 Just say it's a tree.

Speaker 2 That was so funny. Because

Speaker 2 if I

Speaker 2 hadn't been any

Speaker 2 closure to Baba

Speaker 2 unless she did it.

Speaker 2 I would have physically

Speaker 2 stopped him talking because

Speaker 2 I was like, you had a

Speaker 2 great tree.

Speaker 2 Now shut.

Speaker 2 Shut the

Speaker 2 book.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just he's done a tree.

Speaker 1 It looks like a tree. He's power washed it into a dirty driveway.
He's done the task perfectly. And then he says, and it's also a tribute to the Jackson fire.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 2 absolutely bought himself.

Speaker 1 He still did very well, but I think, I think that, I mean, he got four points. I don't think he could have done better because

Speaker 1 Emma's New Zealand

Speaker 1 in a pile of mud. I don't understand how she did that.

Speaker 1 That was incredible.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Judge Emma

Speaker 2 and Amin

Speaker 2 is it a self-portrait of the most

Speaker 2 beautiful woman alive Rosie Jones

Speaker 2 no

Speaker 2 but

Speaker 2 it came a close second to me yes I mean not in the show you you only get three points in the show

Speaker 1 but you you feel like if there was any justice in the world you would have got the five points yeah yeah yeah Maybe, I mean, I guess the most beautiful thing would be you lying in a New Zealand landscape, maybe.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 can I be naked? If you want,

Speaker 2 okay.

Speaker 1 But if you're naked, where are you going to keep your banana?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 1 as I was saying it, I was like, oh, you've forgotten who you're talking to here.

Speaker 2 Oh, gosh,

Speaker 2 in my belly book.

Speaker 2 Of course,

Speaker 2 of course,

Speaker 1 your huge banana-shaped belly button.

Speaker 1 It was two points for Andy, three points for you, Rosie, four points for Jack and Baba, and five points for Emma's New Zealand mud portrait.

Speaker 1 When I first heard of this task, I thought, well, Jones will probably do something in shit

Speaker 1 straight away. But I was disappointed that you joined the Pooh party.
Cheeky ladies.

Speaker 2 Cheeky.

Speaker 2 Cheeky pooing ladies. Well, what fell poo?

Speaker 1 So there might be poo involved.

Speaker 2 That was a disappointing follow-up to there will be blood.

Speaker 1 Task three, place all the balls in the gutter and the the gutter on the cow. The gutter must not enter the dome.
You must not use anything floppy during your attempt.

Speaker 1 For every ball you touch, one minute will be added to your time. For every ball that touches the floor, ten minutes will be added to your time.

Speaker 1 The task is over when the full gutter of balls is balancing by itself on the cow. Fastest wins, your time starts now.

Speaker 1 So, very complicated when you read it out loud.

Speaker 1 You seem really perturbed by this one, Rosie.

Speaker 2 Yeah, basically

Speaker 2 that was a

Speaker 2 in the series

Speaker 2 where I thought by

Speaker 2 Alex Horn

Speaker 2 really

Speaker 2 does

Speaker 2 hate disabled people.

Speaker 2 I was very

Speaker 2 offended at the

Speaker 2 rule that stated

Speaker 2 you cannot use anything floppy

Speaker 2 which

Speaker 2 essentially

Speaker 2 discounted

Speaker 2 me

Speaker 2 from

Speaker 2 taking part

Speaker 2 in the dance.

Speaker 2 The fact that it was

Speaker 2 Barbara, Andy, and Emers

Speaker 2 are three

Speaker 2 absolutely

Speaker 2 non-floppy, able-bodied people

Speaker 2 doing their tasks.

Speaker 2 Compared to

Speaker 2 Jack

Speaker 2 having to a cigar, a very floppy lady

Speaker 2 holding a curly, whirly drain

Speaker 2 just

Speaker 2 a fucking disaster

Speaker 2 from start to finish.

Speaker 1 I mean, Emma's point was that your floppiness aside, you didn't have to pick the curly pipe.

Speaker 1 The curly pipe was very much within your control.

Speaker 2 I said it about Mr.

Speaker 2 Poo, I'll say it again. again.

Speaker 2 I didn't pick the curly pipe.

Speaker 2 The curly pipe pit.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was

Speaker 1 so funny every time the ball went in one end of the curly pipe and then flew out the other end. It was like the Chuckle Brothers or something.

Speaker 2 Oh, it was great.

Speaker 1 I loved it. I mean, look,

Speaker 1 you laid the cow on its side using the spoons and that that was it. That was all smart.

Speaker 2 Yes, that's it. I was

Speaker 2 very,

Speaker 2 very

Speaker 2 happy to think

Speaker 2 about laying a cow on their side.

Speaker 2 Did we do

Speaker 2 a little bit worse than the team of

Speaker 2 three non-disciplined people

Speaker 2 absolute

Speaker 2 loosely

Speaker 2 but we tip to

Speaker 2 a cow show

Speaker 2 really who were the real winners they are by about an hour and a bit um

Speaker 2 okay

Speaker 1 i think this is the task where uh you shouted at baba in the studio as well it really made me laugh just absolutely completely just went baba i've got cerebral pause

Speaker 1 is the fact

Speaker 1 that I think

Speaker 2 there have been times where

Speaker 2 Greg has

Speaker 2 rightly so

Speaker 2 been quite harsh on me and

Speaker 2 called me out for

Speaker 2 using the disabled cow willy-nilly.

Speaker 2 But they say probably

Speaker 2 there won't time in the series that I was like

Speaker 2 no

Speaker 2 this was not fair so for fucking Baba to come at me I was like

Speaker 2 absolutely fucking not your bastard

Speaker 2 you're gonna get it

Speaker 1 Yes, you you dropped six balls as a team which meant you added on quite a lot of time there. Emma, Andy, and Babba, of course, they did it in eight minutes.
They didn't drop any balls.

Speaker 1 They managed to unlock the kitchen. When Babba finds the key, Emma shouts, Oh my god, I'm obsessed with my team.
It's a very positive team atmosphere.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well done, them.

Speaker 2 Well done.

Speaker 2 Well, that's it, we did. Really?

Speaker 2 They did win that catch, but in the grand game uploads did they

Speaker 2 not breathe for 17 minutes at birth

Speaker 2 are

Speaker 2 any

Speaker 2 of them

Speaker 2 literal living miracles

Speaker 2 well

Speaker 2 no so

Speaker 2 really

Speaker 2 who was the real winner here

Speaker 1 Again, it is them if you're thinking about points, but no, I see.

Speaker 2 I'll take your one.

Speaker 1 It was five points for Andy, Bubber, and Emma, and three points for Captain Jackie and the Living Miracle.

Speaker 1 So, the team of two. Did it pretty quickly? You do get 10 minutes added on for every ball that touches the floor.
Can you tell us how many?

Speaker 1 There were six balls that struck the floor, so that is an extra hour.

Speaker 2 Oh, funny, isn't it? Isn't it funny?

Speaker 1 One hour, 19 minutes, and 16 seconds.

Speaker 2 Plays eight minutes.

Speaker 1 The team of three.

Speaker 1 They were nine and a half times slower. That's the difference between the speed of a cheetah and a running duck.

Speaker 1 Points-wise, they obviously get five, but how many? They did complete the task. Well, there's got to be a golf if there's that big a time golf.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 Tell me the times again. The team of three with six good arms, eight minutes, 21 actually, if that changed anything.
And the team of two, one hour, 19 minutes, and 16 minutes.

Speaker 2 Hold on, hold on, hold on. What's all of this?

Speaker 2 Barbara!

Speaker 2 I'm confused!

Speaker 2 You picked a curly pipe.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about the live task. Predict whether each item will float or sink.
If you are right, you get a point. Most points wins.
Did you enjoy doing the live tasks, Rosie?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 They,

Speaker 2 um,

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 2 I got very

Speaker 2 nervous because I was secretly quite competitive

Speaker 2 and um

Speaker 2 I'm not giving any spoilers

Speaker 2 because I'm not telling you about where I was

Speaker 2 in my

Speaker 2 mental headspace

Speaker 2 going

Speaker 2 into this live task.

Speaker 2 I think up until the beginning of this episode

Speaker 2 I thought I could pull it back.

Speaker 2 I thought

Speaker 2 I was in the running

Speaker 2 to win the whole series

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 after

Speaker 2 the abyss movements

Speaker 2 throughout this entire episode

Speaker 2 I was like, yeah, I've not got this.

Speaker 2 So I went into

Speaker 2 this

Speaker 2 land touch

Speaker 2 with the

Speaker 2 really

Speaker 2 mantra

Speaker 2 of what's her fucking point.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 1 sometimes that happens, happen to me as well. You know, it's you, but at least this wasn't like one where, you know, you had to throw something or actually had to physically do anything.

Speaker 1 It was just guessing.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 it annoys me these. These ones are not because it's Alex being a prong, isn't it? So it's him being like, Oh, is this duck gonna float? And he's filled it with cement or something like that.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, is this a duck gonna flam?

Speaker 2 How about

Speaker 2 this identico duck?

Speaker 2 It's how get

Speaker 2 out

Speaker 2 of my own head,

Speaker 2 you fucking dickhead,

Speaker 2 and get a

Speaker 2 fucking life.

Speaker 1 Well, look, you did you, uh, Baba, and Emma all got five correct guesses. Uh, Jack got six, and Andy somehow with eight correct guesses.

Speaker 1 It was a stunning effort from Andy, um, meaning uh, that Andy, of course, uh, gets the five points in that task, leaving the episode scores. You are bottom, sadly, of this episode on 13 points.

Speaker 1 Uh, Jack on 15, Baba on 18, Andy on 20, and another victory for Emma on 21 points. Meaning that Andy is now in the lead in the series with 146, only just ahead of Jack, who has 143.

Speaker 1 Baba, a little bit further behind on 137, Emma close behind Baba on 136, and you on 1-2-3, 123 points, Rosie, going into the final episode.

Speaker 2 And as I said before,

Speaker 2 I am all

Speaker 2 or nothing

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 I stick by it and

Speaker 2 I made the bottom

Speaker 2 I said it before

Speaker 2 I really

Speaker 2 enjoy a bit of

Speaker 2 the bottom

Speaker 1 Well look we don't know what's going to happen in the final episode of course of Of course, you do, but we, as the viewer, do not know.

Speaker 1 But, of course, if you do come bottom, you'll be joining such luminaries as Nish Kumar. How do you feel about that?

Speaker 2 Fuck

Speaker 2 that

Speaker 2 guy.

Speaker 2 Fuck

Speaker 2 that

Speaker 2 guy.

Speaker 2 Wait, what did do you know what? Over

Speaker 2 Shagore he got?

Speaker 1 I don't, but I suspect you've already got more than him. And and okay also he did have less episodes though they didn't do the full ten in his series

Speaker 2 yeah you I mean that wins any argument Rosie well done

Speaker 2 thank you so much for coming on the Taskmaster podcast you've been absolutely amazing oh thank you I'm gonna go and eat my banana now.

Speaker 1 We always ask our guests to rate their experience on the Taskmaster podcast between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster.

Speaker 1 We hope you've had a good time today, but feel free to give us an honest point score, Rosie. And I'm absolutely dreading what you're going to say here.

Speaker 1 Am I

Speaker 2 very

Speaker 2 in the podcast or am I very in you what as a person.

Speaker 1 Why don't you give us two separate scores?

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 okay.

Speaker 2 So, the poll catch

Speaker 2 five

Speaker 2 because

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 it very unlike me to be

Speaker 2 sincere,

Speaker 2 but honestly, the entire match that

Speaker 2 was the most

Speaker 2 fun

Speaker 2 about

Speaker 2 in my career I've been a fan of the show

Speaker 2 since the beginning

Speaker 2 and so to get the opportunity to do it was a dream come true so to be able to

Speaker 2 relive that

Speaker 2 and talk about it.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 very good.

Speaker 2 Five points. Okay.

Speaker 2 You

Speaker 2 as a

Speaker 2 person,

Speaker 2 yeah, yeah, it will be a strong,

Speaker 2 solid

Speaker 2 one point,

Speaker 2 one

Speaker 2 point, just

Speaker 2 all for human being.

Speaker 2 Not a great guy.

Speaker 2 than gold it's only

Speaker 2 your podcast

Speaker 2 because

Speaker 2 I've had to

Speaker 2 stare at your fucking ugly face

Speaker 2 You need to short your life out

Speaker 2 You need to sort your face out You need

Speaker 2 to short your career out.

Speaker 2 One point, yeah. Okay, fair enough.
I thought that might be the direction it was going in.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Rosie.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much for coming on the podcast, Rosie. You are, you are, of course, welcome back anytime, but it will still be me hosting it.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 well,

Speaker 2 um, yeah, I will never return.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 Bye, Rosie.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much to Rosie for coming on the podcast. And I mean,

Speaker 1 what a fantastic end there. As she absolutely decimated me and reduced me to rubble.
But that might be one of my favourite episodes we've ever recorded. Rosie is absolutely brilliant.

Speaker 1 So fun to be able to talk to her about that episode. We will be back next week, of course, with the winner.
The winner will be coming on the show because we'll be talking about the final episode.

Speaker 1 So it's the winner's lap of honor episode. Can't wait, can't wait for the final.
It'll be sad to say goodbye to this series, but what a series it's been.

Speaker 1 We'll be back next week, straight after the episode goes out. Channel 4, 9 p.m.
Taskmaster Series 18 finale episode next week. Bye-bye.