#660: Q Does It Again!

Speaker 1 All right, well, I gotta get up and go to the bathroom. I'm not just gonna sit here and piss my pants.
Well, guess what I did?

Speaker 1 You guys suck.

Speaker 1 Walt Flanagan is not a felon. We know this.

Speaker 1 We do know that. I'm pretty sure he's not a prostitute.

Speaker 2 Tell him Steve Dave.

Speaker 1 Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave. I sit here with two of the handsomest men in podcasting, Walt Flanagan.
Oh, thank you. And BQ.

Speaker 1 Hello, hello. Thank you.
You're not so bad looking yourself. Why, thank you.

Speaker 1 Give me that kind of pod, huh?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 it's been a while. We took off for Thanksgiving week.

Speaker 1 How was your Thanksgiving cue?

Speaker 1 Miserable. Oh.

Speaker 1 What? I want to hear that. I was sick.

Speaker 1 You were sick? I told you this. I was sick the whole time.
I got sick from the fucking everybody sneezing and coughing in that room. The next day, I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 that's right.

Speaker 1 I said to you, I was like, I'm definitely getting sick. I go, everybody in that room was sick.
You know that, right? And then Christmas.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 and then

Speaker 1 I was like, there's no way like Walt could be sick. Giddam was sick.
I saw some of the red noses of some of the other guys. I was like, there's no way I'm not getting sick.

Speaker 1 And I got sick.

Speaker 2 I was better by Thanksgiving, though. I'm surprised that

Speaker 2 it staggered.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I was only down for like two days, and then I felt better. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was kind of like a 20-hour tail.

Speaker 1 I had a tail on you, though, because I had to get it. You know what I mean? And then, and you know, my constitution is that of a fucking newborn bunny.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 it was that time.

Speaker 2 It was a vitamin regimen?

Speaker 1 Nah.

Speaker 2 You got to get on some fucking GNC, man.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Quickly approaching 50.

Speaker 2 What was that? What was that? What was that factor or not factor? What was that vitamins we used to push?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I can't remember.

Speaker 2 You don't have a cocktail that you take?

Speaker 1 No, no, not well, not that type of cocktail.

Speaker 1 Do you think it'd be one of these guys that's like trying to reverse aging and shit, like that tech billionaire guy?

Speaker 2 Yeah, his name is Brian, ironically, Brian Johnson.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Couldn't be more opposite.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing blood infusions and sharing sperm with my son and all kinds of weird shit. Oh, bizarre.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, so.

Speaker 1 Are you better now?

Speaker 1 Are you better now?

Speaker 1 I am better now. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it was about two days ago. I was like, okay, I stopped spitting up green stuff and everything.

Speaker 2 So you didn't have any turkey?

Speaker 1 I had turkey. I had a,

Speaker 1 what is that?

Speaker 1 Food delivery. I don't remember the name of the service, but I was able to get a little bit of a.
Probably Factor, right? It must be Factor.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was able to secure turkey breasts and stuffing and cranberry and stuff like that. So I had a

Speaker 1 nice little lonely sick Thanksgiving. It was good.

Speaker 1 Giving thanks for what?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the cats. None of them off my side.
They were all there. Boris was with me the whole time.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was great.

Speaker 1 But how was yours? How was the Johnson family Thanksgiving? Uneventful, man. No arguments, no fighting, just everybody getting along and having a good time.

Speaker 1 Nice. Enjoying each other's company.
I was like, what the fuck is wrong with this picture?

Speaker 1 Something has to go on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, Edgar's still like, Edgar is like,

Speaker 1 you know, he's sick, so he doesn't have any fight in him anymore. He's down to 125 pounds, man.
He told me on Thanksgiving, down from like 160. That was normally about where he was, about 160.

Speaker 2 That might take the fight out of you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all the Johnsons are broken down, man. Like, my sister has, she needs to get her knee replaced.
Edgar has cancer. Pam is hunched over like an old woman.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, when it's like, drink your milk or you get osteoporosis? That's what she looks like now. She's all hunched over and stuff.
Me with the fucking back.

Speaker 1 I just got the second epidural, which seems to be working. Nice.

Speaker 2 I didn't realize that you can get epidurals and they don't work.

Speaker 1 I didn't realize it either until they told me when I went the first time. They're like, you know, here are the risks and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and it might not work.

Speaker 1 And I was like, really?

Speaker 1 All right. Well, let's go for it anyway.
And then it didn't work. Or it kind of worked a little bit.

Speaker 2 And so

Speaker 2 how do you know, like, how long do you have to wait before you get the second one?

Speaker 1 I waited a couple weeks. I think it was like two weeks because they say usually it's like two to five days and then you know whether it worked or not.
So, uh, I went back the other day.

Speaker 1 Today's we're recording on Friday. I went on

Speaker 1 yesterday. Yeah, yeah, I went yesterday.
God, it seems so long ago. Yeah, I went yesterday, and within 24 hours, it's it feels like it's probably working better.
Right, so you had to get two.

Speaker 1 I had to get two. Not only that, but like when I was under the second time, he could he could like he goes in and he's like, Oh, you got too many blood vessels here.

Speaker 1 So, like, he sticks me with the needle to you know, like

Speaker 1 to uh numb it up. Where's he? You got too many blood vessels, like right in in my shoulder.
Kind of. He's like, all right, so we're going to go over to this part.
And he's like,

Speaker 1 he's like, we're going to try to go into this area right here. All right, you got too many blood vessels here.
We could go under a layer. Do you consent to that?

Speaker 1 No, I'm lying on, like, it looks like I'm getting a massage. I'm lying on like a table with my face on that pillow.
And I'm like, I guess.

Speaker 1 I don't know what it means really to like go another layer down, but if that's what it's going to work, I guess, yeah, sure.

Speaker 2 So there's certain parts of your body that don't have as many blood vessels in it?

Speaker 1 I guess so. I don't know.
Yeah, I was surprised that it's like, because it didn't happen the first time, and then it happened twice the second time.

Speaker 2 My daughter, when you know, she didn't even take the epidural when

Speaker 2 she gave birth to the children.

Speaker 1 That's a tough chick. Yeah, that's a tough chick.
It's finance, baby. We're built different.
Yeah, like medicine.

Speaker 1 Do you have any buffering, maybe?

Speaker 1 That should kill the pain.

Speaker 1 She was like, I don't want it.

Speaker 2 She said she wasn't going to do it. My wife was like, she'll do it.

Speaker 2 When it push comes to shove and it gets down to litty-gritty. And the pain comes, she goes, she's going to do it, but nope, she

Speaker 2 didn't do it.

Speaker 1 And why not?

Speaker 2 I guess she had heard some horror stories. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Like, you know, that's what the worst thing about the internet, you know, it's now you can look up everything.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Every little ailment, you can look it up.

Speaker 2 And every, like, the worst possible scenario, you can, it comes up immediately as the first search result.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah.
You're like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's like, it's like reading an Amazon review.

Speaker 1 It's like you can read as number, as many number one, like, five-star reviews as you want, but then once you get to those one-stars, you're like, oh, shit, is this really the deal?

Speaker 1 Like, why would these people say it if it wasn't really the deal?

Speaker 2 But it took this epidural. So now you're just on epidural monthly epidurals now?

Speaker 1 No, not monthly.

Speaker 1 Hopefully, it'll last a couple years.

Speaker 1 It was monthly, I wouldn't be able to afford it. These things are expensive, man.
Even with insurance, it was like $900.

Speaker 1 Really? Just for a shot? Just for a shot.

Speaker 2 What's in that shot?

Speaker 1 Must be some kind of magical fucking potion, man. It better be.
Or it should have been. Yeah.
Yeah. It's like gold schlager.
It's like gold flakes in it.

Speaker 2 Could it be just a placebo?

Speaker 1 Oh, you think so? They're like, let's just get this sucker some saline, charge them $900.

Speaker 1 We're feeling better, Doc.

Speaker 1 Sure, you are. Look at them.
You're not feeling good enough. We need another one.

Speaker 1 All right, if you think so. You think so, Doc?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it felt a lot like when I was in Key West with Q, it was like, it was crippling pain. Like, I couldn't do shit because of it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And now it's like, every once in a while, I feel a little bit of a tingle in my fingers, but

Speaker 1 now it's like mostly, I would say like 99% gone. Wow, okay.
Well, then

Speaker 2 it's all for the epidural then.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's kind of worth it. But then I'm just like, with this fucking health insurance, I'm like, what the fuck, man?

Speaker 1 Like, you know how much you pay every month. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then on top of it, yeah, and then I'm like, it's like, the only time I feel good is when I go to the pharmacy and I'm like, oh, it's only $1.80 for this prescription that would normally be $18.

Speaker 1 Well, that's good. But like, meanwhile, you're paying $1,500 a fucking month.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you just get fucked.

Speaker 1 Non-stop. You're just getting fucked non-stop, dude.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Give me some more epidurals.

Speaker 1 Give it to me, Brian.

Speaker 1 What about your Thanksgiving? What would you do? It was good.

Speaker 2 It was at my house.

Speaker 2 Everybody was there.

Speaker 2 And Oliver's first Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Didn't have any turkey, though. He's still on milk.
but it was good. It was a nice, quiet Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No stories to come from any of this stuff.

Speaker 2 No, no stories came out of Thanksgiving. No.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I got none.

Speaker 1 It's usually a fight. Usually, you know, like these last couple of years have been very tame,

Speaker 1 very relaxed.

Speaker 2 How'd your sister hurt her knee?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I think it's just like gradual arthritis, kind of like mine was.

Speaker 2 And she's going to get it replaced?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Jeez.
She had to lose a certain amount of weight until they would do it. And now she's getting it done in sometime in the middle of January.

Speaker 1 It's not a small deal either. I know a lady who got her knee replaced, same deal as your sister.
It's like they offered her the oxygen. She's like, nah, that's okay.
I'll just take Tylenol.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, I remember that pain.

Speaker 1 Like, when I remember, I was telling Mary Beth when the first, when I got my knee done, the first night I was like, all right, well, I got to get up and go to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 I'm not just going to sit here and piss my pants. Well, guess what I did? Because I couldn't get up.
I could not get up. Yeah.
Like, I even had my walker and stuff.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute.

Speaker 2 They didn't

Speaker 1 plan for that? Well, a catheter afterwards or whatever it was. Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 They didn't have planned for it. No.
What? Because

Speaker 1 I pissed my pants.

Speaker 2 So you pissed your pants and you went back to a doctor and like, Doc, I need a catheter.

Speaker 1 Look at me. No, no, no.
I told them. I told them that.
I was like, you know, I can't get up to go to the bathroom. And then I think that's when they did it.

Speaker 2 Were you in the hospital?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So you didn't call the nurse? No, I did.
I I mean, I didn't want to call the nurse and be like, I got to go to the bathroom. But then I was like, oh, shit.
No, I can't.

Speaker 1 There's nothing to be done about it.

Speaker 2 It was too late. Like, oh, you crossed the path of no return? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I had to go really bad. And I was just like, I can probably make it to the bathroom.
I can do this.

Speaker 1 I can't do this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like one leg is my good leg is out. I'm like, I'm not doing this.

Speaker 1 But speaking of hospitals,

Speaker 1 I know Walt Flanagan is not a felon. We know this.

Speaker 1 We do know that. I'm pretty sure he's not a prostitute.

Speaker 1 So I can't think of another reason why this guy would not carry an ID on him.

Speaker 1 I was talking to Gidham yesterday. Giddam's in the hospital.
I went to see him. And he said that Walt is, and

Speaker 1 you're his go-to guy.

Speaker 1 You're on his list. On his list is his.

Speaker 2 His doctor called me after his operation. Well, yeah, Giddam went into the hospital, for those who don't know, right after Thanksgiving.
that's why we couldn't have black friday at this at the um

Speaker 2 general store

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 he didn't even know he was going to have uh his surgery i mean it was he went to the doctor and they were like you got to go for surgery now like you can't wait so it was like it was all done within 24 hours because of what whatever he's dealing with with his with his spine and everything and

Speaker 2 so it was kind of like took everybody like i thought he might have to get surgery i was pretty confident he would have to get surgery the way he's been hobbled lately, but I thought it would be like

Speaker 2 in January or something. I was, I was pretty, pretty shocked when they were like, we got to do it like ASAP.
Like, there is no waiting. We got to do it now.

Speaker 2 Usually that's fucked up when you get, like, you don't even have time to prep.

Speaker 2 And I don't know if that's worse or better because when I had surgery a couple years ago, right around the same time Ginnem had it,

Speaker 2 it was a 30-day wait. And

Speaker 2 that 30 days is excruciating as you you just, again, you go to the Google searches, you go to all like, what could go wrong?

Speaker 2 I don't know if it's better or worse to be like, we're going to do it like in an hour.

Speaker 1 I think for Giddam, it's better to do it the way that it happened. Because you don't give him a chance to argue it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's no coming up with a billion reasons why he shouldn't do it that make no sense to anybody but him. Like, you know, when the doctor, even

Speaker 1 a fucking dense motherfucker, like Get him, when the doctor's like, no, no, no, you got to go to the hospital now.

Speaker 1 He listens. I don't have faith in him sitting on a month and

Speaker 1 going through the fucking maze that is his mind, you know?

Speaker 2 Yeah, so he's in the hospital. I went to see him the night before the surgery, and he said he was going to put me down as his,

Speaker 2 me and his dad were going to be the people, the person. His other dad?

Speaker 2 The person the doctor was going to call when the surgery was over.

Speaker 2 I was going to get a call when the surgery is over for an update on his condition.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 he had to go in at his surgery, it was scheduled for 2 p.m., and Giddam said it would be over in four hours. So in my mind, I'm not expecting the doctor to call at 6.

Speaker 2 I know that, like, you know, it's probably going to be between 6.30 and 7, I thought.

Speaker 2 But that call did not come until

Speaker 1 10:30. 10:30, yeah.

Speaker 2 So I was getting pretty,

Speaker 2 I was bouncing off the walls, and I was like, I told my wife, I was like, he can't be in surgery this long.

Speaker 2 I guess they just forgot to call me, or they just were like, or they looked and it's like, oh, that's his father? Who's this other fucking clown we got to call?

Speaker 1 Why do we got to call him?

Speaker 1 Oh, it's his

Speaker 1 buddy. It's his boss.

Speaker 1 It's got to call his boss.

Speaker 2 What is he? Is he worried that he's going to get docked?

Speaker 1 Hey, why the fuck are we calling this fucking moron?

Speaker 1 So I called, my wife was like, just call the hospital.

Speaker 2 So I called at 8.30

Speaker 2 and I asked, you know, what, if I could get an update on, I didn't call him Giddem,

Speaker 1 but and

Speaker 2 had to remind myself, don't call him Gidem.

Speaker 2 And the lady on the phone just goes, like, I'm surprised she just gave me this information because she didn't ask me my name or anything.

Speaker 2 She didn't know he had given me as a contact, but she he said, she said he's still on the table at 8:30.

Speaker 2 So that went to like all the worst things. I'm like, why the fuck is he still on the table? Why is this taking so long? What the fuck must have happened?

Speaker 2 And, you know, those hours just kept crawling and crawling. And then finally, the doctor called

Speaker 2 and it was so short, just like, is this Walter Flanagan? I go, yes. And he goes, I'm calling for blank, blank.

Speaker 2 Operation went fine.

Speaker 2 He'll be waking up soon. Good night.

Speaker 1 And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 I don't know why I'm on the phone with you at all.

Speaker 2 He goes, yes. And I'm like,

Speaker 1 all I said was, thank you.

Speaker 1 I don't know why I wanted him to wait, but I just, oh, well, thank you, doctor.

Speaker 2 I said, thank you. And

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 2 that night, though, when I went to see him before the surgery, I didn't, yeah, I had a very difficult time getting to the hospital because I didn't have any ID.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah, that's what this all comes down to is who Walt does not drive other drivers.
Like, whenever I watch these cop camps and I see people pulled over, and like, do you have your license?

Speaker 1 Like, no, I'm like, who doesn't carry their license when they drive? Who? I haven't carried it

Speaker 1 for decades. I know.
Last time we got into trouble, we tried to go to that micro-imidget wrestling league and you couldn't get in almost.

Speaker 2 Because I'm terrified I'm going to lose it. Yeah.
Yeah, because I lose everything.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, why don't you take a picture of it on your phone? Because you had to call your wife to get a picture, right?

Speaker 2 No, I was going to. Like, the lady at the front counter was pretty cool, but she was giving me a little bit of a hard time at first.
And I told her, I was like, can I just call my wife?

Speaker 2 And she'll text you a picture or text me a picture of it.

Speaker 2 And she kind of was just like.

Speaker 2 broke protocol and let me go up. But the next day, I did have my license.
I saw on the next, or the day after the surgery, and I gave the license to a different lady.

Speaker 2 And she goes, were you in the building before? And I was like, yes. She goes, why didn't you tell me? I go, I don't know.
I had to tell you.

Speaker 1 I was here earlier or a couple of days ago.

Speaker 2 She goes,

Speaker 2 she was so mad that this time I had the license.

Speaker 1 It was bizarre.

Speaker 2 It was just a bitch who was just, no, not the same lady,

Speaker 2 just somebody who was looking for a reason to be annoyed. It really, really felt like that.
And she goes, well, well, now you have a license.

Speaker 2 Before you didn't have a license, she goes, and she's just shaking her head like something's not right.

Speaker 2 And I'm going, well, I just forgot it. I said,

Speaker 2 she let me go through and I just said, she was in a different room. So I was like,

Speaker 2 I go, I don't know where I'm going. And she throws her hands up so animated.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 whoa. Oh, my God.
And I'm like, you work at the front desk. Like, isn't this like, don't you? That's a reasonable question.

Speaker 2 This is not something I would think would be uncommon. You have to tell somebody where they have to go.
She pulls out a little map and she goes, this is where you got to go.

Speaker 2 And so, what the looks of it, I'm like, it's all one floor, and I just have to walk straight and make one turn. So, I was like, Okay, so I never have to get on an escalator.

Speaker 2 She goes, Hun, if you want to ride the escalator, go for it, but you're not going to get there.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, Jesus Christ,

Speaker 1 wow,

Speaker 2 yeah, she was not happy, but he's doing well, seemingly. He's in a bit of pain, but it's like the doctor said,

Speaker 2 the operation went fine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 they always lie when, like, when you're not, if you're at a doctor's office, you're in a hospital, like when we went to see him, me and Mary Beth dropped by, and we were like, he's not in the room.

Speaker 1 So we're like, you know, we went to the desk and

Speaker 1 we were like, where is he? You know, and she's like, oh, he went for a CT scan. And I said, well, how long does that take? She's like, he'll be back in less than 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 An hour later, I'm like, I'm not waiting around anywhere for this guy. And then he finally fucking turns the corner and he's in a chair and they're rolling him around and shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's going to be out of commission for

Speaker 2 probably till January Q.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Maybe you could come down and

Speaker 2 kind of put in a couple hours.

Speaker 1 The artist coach.

Speaker 1 Wear your uniform. Well, I cannot come down and do a couple hours, and the effect would be the same as to whether Giddam was there or not.

Speaker 1 Let's not pretend that he, you know,

Speaker 1 is a model employee. But

Speaker 1 I thought it was very sweet that, because originally we were supposed to record on, or I was able to record on Wednesday.

Speaker 1 And you did, well, you were, you were saying

Speaker 1 you don't feel comfortable recording while he's in surgery.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you're like, I don't want to record Wednesday. I don't want to do it while he's in surgery.
And it was a real like moment for me where I was like,

Speaker 1 is there something wrong with me?

Speaker 1 That, like, I would, that I was like, because I was just like, I even said in the text you was like, wow, that's not something that would have occurred to me, but yeah, no problem.

Speaker 1 We'll do it another day. And I've been thinking about it all week, and I'm like,

Speaker 1 Is there something wrong with me? I don't think so.

Speaker 1 I don't know. It didn't occur to me either.
I got to be honest with you. It didn't occur to me.

Speaker 1 In fact, like when I was texting you guys back, I almost was like reticent to be like, once you said he was okay. I'm like, oh, cool.
He's okay. So tomorrow?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I'm not saying

Speaker 2 when I said that I didn't want to record, I didn't mean that you guys couldn't get together and record. I just meant my headspace was not in a

Speaker 2 right frame of mind to record because, especially the whole time, I'd be thinking, I'd be looking at my watch and be going, oh my God, we're podcasting, and he's

Speaker 2 split open. And

Speaker 2 I can't, yeah, I just could not, like, there's not a chance on the planet I could have been

Speaker 2 in the right frame of mind to crack jokes while that was going on. I just couldn't do it.
You know, it was so weird.

Speaker 2 I know you guys are going to fucking make fun of me, but the whole time that, like, as soon as that clock hit, I knew he was in there, my neck hurt.

Speaker 2 And I kept like, I kept having these bad pains in my neck. Really? Yeah.
And I was like, oh my God, like, is this what he's feeling right now? Like, is there some sort of symbiotic

Speaker 1 connection going on? So you didn't think it's like stress or anxiety. You're like, oh, my God, we're mind-melding.

Speaker 1 I will take your pain.

Speaker 1 It's like at the end of the exorcist when it's like, come into me.

Speaker 1 We share everything.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I didn't mean for it to come off as like

Speaker 2 you guys shouldn't pot or do whatever you guys want to do. I just meant for me personally,

Speaker 2 I was like, I can't do it. I just can't.
And it would have been the same way if it was anybody else. It would have been the same way.
I just don't have the kind of

Speaker 2 ability to put it to the side and not kind of

Speaker 2 stress and dwell on it.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I don't have a lot of

Speaker 2 coping skills that way. I feel like

Speaker 2 at a certain point, like

Speaker 2 a couple years,

Speaker 2 maybe about a decade ago, it just became impossible for me to not worry.

Speaker 2 You know, maybe I need a little bit of that fucking

Speaker 1 bit of the volcano.

Speaker 1 Hook yep.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I didn't think anything

Speaker 1 was wrong with it. Like, I wasn't like, what a fucking pussy.
What's up with this guy? I was literally like,

Speaker 1 because I think that

Speaker 1 contradicts that.

Speaker 1 But I literally was like, I took stock of myself, and what it came down to for me wasn't like, well, I'm callous and I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 I was literally like, oh, I just assume everything's going to go fine. Like,

Speaker 1 yeah, that's, that's kind of the way I feel. It's like, yeah, he's in surgery.
He's using surgery, though. Yeah, I'm like, they're going to fix him up and he'll be fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, it doesn't occur to me that it's going to like kill him. That it's going to go wrong.
Yeah. Or he's going to be paralyzed or something.

Speaker 1 I mean, he was practically paralyzed before he went in.

Speaker 1 I know, but

Speaker 2 there was no,

Speaker 1 excuse me, there was no way I was going to be able to. I'm not breaking up either.
He's crying. I'm getting emotional.

Speaker 1 We shouldn't have podcasted today either.

Speaker 2 I just would have been focused on the time. Like, I definitely would have been looking at that clock going like, this is wrong.
This is weird. Like, we can't be making jokes about this right now.

Speaker 2 It's just not,

Speaker 2 it's not how I could roll.

Speaker 1 I couldn't do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but there's always something going on in the world you know not my world oh it's true yeah if you're talking about your own personal that's really the only world that i can focus on i can't focus on the rest of the world it's impossible all the shit that people got going on man it's like i don't want to join in on that

Speaker 1 let's see what else do we got here sunday jeff sunday jeff texts me every holiday and i didn't think it was a sunday jeff thing but he used a turkey emoji when he said happy thanksgiving like i'm like like sunday jeff doesn't seem to be the type of guy that would like be able to search it out and figure out how to put a turkey emoji on there i think somebody sent that to him oh he copy and pasted that he just copy and paste it to everybody else

Speaker 1 it's like again it would never occur to me to text anybody happy thanksgiving like i i it would i i can't imagine me being like let me text someone happy i got that i gotta let them know that i hope they have a happy thanksgiving

Speaker 1 you know i would just be like people are with their family doing their thing. Why the fuck do they want another text, an unnecessary text from this clown with like a turkey emoji?

Speaker 1 It wouldn't occur to me.

Speaker 1 Sitting home grousing.

Speaker 1 I'm not sending any Thanksgiving text to anybody.

Speaker 1 Bah fucking humbug.

Speaker 1 This made me think of you, Wal, because I know you're a big Christmas guy.

Speaker 1 Yes. Love Christmas.
In Portland, thank God you don't live there.

Speaker 1 Because in Portland, they had a Christmas tree lighting,

Speaker 1 but Portland's woke tree lighting ceremony sparks outrage. They can't even say Christmas tree.

Speaker 1 Portland has sparked outrage after stripping its Christmas tree of its name, referring only to it as the tree during the lighting ceremony.

Speaker 1 These fucking people, man.

Speaker 1 Who are they trying to be nice to? Who are they trying to be sensitive to that you can't say fucking Christmas tree?

Speaker 2 What is it that,

Speaker 2 yeah, like I wonder,

Speaker 2 I know in their hearts they think they're doing a good thing. I just would need to hear, yeah, if you could explain it eloquently why

Speaker 2 you feel it's better to call it the tree.

Speaker 2 And I might

Speaker 1 listen. I might call it a tree.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is it because Christ?

Speaker 1 Probably. Yeah, probably.
They don't want to offend anybody who is not a Christian. But it sounds really

Speaker 1 appropriating, though, the Christmas tree then.

Speaker 1 Like you're just taking it from that culture

Speaker 1 and using it anyway and changing it.

Speaker 1 I thought we had just all learned through the previous most fun decade we've all lived through that you're not supposed to do that anymore. So it's funny.

Speaker 1 But at the end of the day, you know what's so funny? It's how little I care. I don't give a fuck.
Call a Christmas tree, call it the tree.

Speaker 2 Don't put a Christmas tree up.

Speaker 1 It doesn't, like,

Speaker 1 I have a hard time getting worked up about it at all.

Speaker 2 Those people, though, that want to call it that, though, they shouldn't get Christmas off then, or they shouldn't get a paid holiday done.

Speaker 1 I don't think they are by the looks of them in this article.

Speaker 1 They have to have a job.

Speaker 2 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 They don't want to call a Christmas tree or the day Christmas, but yet they sure want to get that fucking sweet holiday pay, you know, a paid day off, but that's okay then.

Speaker 2 Then all of a sudden they're okay with it, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1 If it benefits them somehow.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they shouldn't get that day

Speaker 2 not comped, and their paycheck should reflect that. Then that's when I know they really stand

Speaker 1 on their beliefs.

Speaker 1 Well, it sounds like it was a ball.

Speaker 1 The festive occasion was kicked off with a woman from the Confederated Tribe of Warm Springs thanking everyone in the crowd for coming out on Native American Heritage Day, not Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 She, I mean,

Speaker 1 Christmas or whatever, she introduced two young members of the tribe who referred to the celebration only as the tree lighting before handing the microphone to another featured speaker.

Speaker 1 Draped in a Palestinian flag, the woman used her stage time to lead the crowd in a free Palestine chant. This is the perfect time to bring it up.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of genocides going on, she said, moments into the Christmas tree lighting. Can I get into the tree lighting ceremony? Can I get a free, free Palestine?

Speaker 1 And some members of the crowd were heard obliging.

Speaker 1 Then she led the crowd in the strong woman song, performing alongside two young children and another woman, noting it felt appropriate since we're representing our matriarchs.

Speaker 1 Dude, I got to be honest with you. I'm not in the room.
I'm zooming in today. Like, are you just making this up? Because this sounds like a fucking parody of how people, like,

Speaker 1 are you making this up just to fucking see what we say? Because this is so fucking good. I wish I was.
I wish I was. I don't think I could make up something.
Like,

Speaker 1 it's just so fucking nuts that, like, this is what Christmas is now. It's like a free Palestine chant, and Native Americans, and everybody being like, you guys suck if you like Christmas.

Speaker 2 Well, I know, well, this has given me some ideas for next year's TSD Christmas special, though. At least now I know I have the direction I can go in.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're woke here.

Speaker 2 Did you see some of the prices on the Christmas trees lately?

Speaker 1 No, I have a fake tree now, so I don't even look at the prices. Are they crazy? It's crazy, man.

Speaker 2 It's sticker shock on Christmas trees, especially fake ones.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 2 Whew. Yeah, I don't know what they're making them out of now.
I mean,

Speaker 1 it's the tariffs, bro. It's fucking Trump's tariffs.

Speaker 2 Maybe, but yeah, I don't know how anybody can even afford afford a tree.

Speaker 1 What kind of price is you looking at? They're like triple figures

Speaker 1 for a Christmas tree. That's not surprising.
I think last year I took a look and they were like about a buck 25.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, like 300.

Speaker 1 Oh, really?

Speaker 2 Holy shit. Yeah.
But they're already pre-lit, though. So maybe I'm just looking at the high-end models in not Rickles.

Speaker 1 Is Rickles still around? No, Rickles hasn't been around sometime.

Speaker 1 What am I doing? Blows are old people. Blows are all people, yeah.

Speaker 1 Did I just have a stroke? I thought it was 1984 and Rickles was still around and channel.

Speaker 1 Channel. Yeah, that was what I couldn't remember the name of it.

Speaker 1 All right, Q, Christmas is coming. Yes.
It's right around the corner. Some people don't want to acknowledge that by calling it a tree, but Christmas is right around the corner.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to talk some real talk to you, not that Portland shit. Has anyone else realized that gift-giving season is already here? If you haven't even started your list yet, don't panic.

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Speaker 1 Now, I got to say, I got to say, I don't like to usually contradict or be contrarian when it comes to Miundis, but I do not like the matching outfits. I think they're corny.
No. I think they're corny.

Speaker 1 But some people love them, so what are we going going to do? Well,

Speaker 1 this discussion for you and me goes back fucking 25 years.

Speaker 1 When I was

Speaker 1 infatuated, Walt, with

Speaker 1 a lady,

Speaker 1 and Brian found out that she had a Christmas tradition of her whole family

Speaker 1 got dressed in matching pajamas and spent the day in matching pajamas

Speaker 1 on Christmas. He delighted in the idea of me wearing those pajamas.

Speaker 1 You're going to do it. I know you're going to do it.
I never did. No.
I never did. Never did happen.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but

Speaker 1 it was a hot topic for like a year.

Speaker 1 Back in the late 90s. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Now, why so hung up, though?

Speaker 2 Why so unwilling just to let your hair down and wear a matching outfit

Speaker 1 with an advantage? Why is it worth

Speaker 1 such a mockery?

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, like, why can't you just

Speaker 2 let it go and let go of your

Speaker 2 inhibitions and just go, you know what?

Speaker 2 I'm just going to relax and put on these PJs and have some hot jobs.

Speaker 1 Throw it to the window. Fuck it, right? Just fuck it.
I'm going to do it.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, Keo. No, I have an answer for that.
And the answer is because I'm friends with Brian Johnson, and there's no way to get away with behavior like that.

Speaker 1 Because if he finds out about it, his eyes are going to light up,

Speaker 1 and then I'm never going to fucking hear the end of it ever. It's self-presented.
You remember back in 1999, you saying you'd never do it.

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Speaker 2 This is a unique decision to do three straight.

Speaker 1 All right, we knocked him out, though, and now we can start talking again. Why didn't you stagger him? I just want to be done with him.

Speaker 1 Talk about Portland some more.

Speaker 2 I'm going to see Giddam after we record.

Speaker 1 Oh, are you? Oh, nice.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I got to have to have to bring him some things he needs from the office. He's got to go into rehab

Speaker 2 for about

Speaker 2 could be up to a month.

Speaker 1 Jeez, man.

Speaker 1 I wonder if this

Speaker 1 will turn him on a healthier path because they're not going to overfeed him and he's not going to be drinking every goddamn night for a month.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, I mean, he's obviously he's not going to be able to get any natties in him for quite some time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, with Q, like, I wonder if it'll be like, you know what? I feel better.

Speaker 1 I feel better not drinking all the natty, and I feel better not being slogged down with all this liquid and being wasted every night.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I have to think, like, Q's correct, though. You can't,

Speaker 2 he's not going to be eating the same dishes that he would have if he wasn't in the hospital. There are much more smaller portions and, I guess, healthier

Speaker 1 plates

Speaker 2 than

Speaker 2 the butter. What is it called? He usually gets the peanut butter-fried fucking chicken fruit.

Speaker 1 Oh, chicken, yeah.

Speaker 1 Good.

Speaker 2 But yeah, that's a long time. And he's going to be in, he could be in there on Christmas Day.
How sad is that?

Speaker 1 That's not good, but I mean, where else would he be?

Speaker 2 I mean, he would be with his dad and his side, you know, I don't know how much he can, like, how ambulatory he is, though.

Speaker 1 Like, can he walk around?

Speaker 2 I feel like I want him to start walking already, huh?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 yeah. He said, they said that, like, he has to go for

Speaker 2 21 hours of therapy a week

Speaker 2 at a minimum.

Speaker 2 And he was like, I don't even do 21 hours of real work at my job a week, he said to the doctor.

Speaker 2 So he said he'll be working way harder at rehab than he does in real life.

Speaker 1 Maybe it'll change. I'm telling you, this might be a great opportunity for him to pivot into exciting new directions.

Speaker 2 I hope so. You know,

Speaker 2 he does take solace in, though, that

Speaker 2 what ailed him

Speaker 2 was not

Speaker 2 was not caused by his bad behavior.

Speaker 2 It wasn't because of the drinking. It wasn't because of eating like shit.
It was like,

Speaker 2 it was just going to happen.

Speaker 1 Okay. So there's.
So it was just like

Speaker 1 genetically,

Speaker 2 this is. Well, I mean,

Speaker 2 you don't know what happened. It could have been.
He could have had.

Speaker 2 He wonders if it was

Speaker 2 when he fell out of that canoe did something happen oh yeah that's what he mentioned yeah you mentioned that canoe thing so there's

Speaker 1 he he doesn't i don't know what

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 i can't i find it very hard to believe that his extremely unhealthy weight his extreme like you don't just fall out of a canoe and and that what happens happened like

Speaker 1 Like a crush of vertebrae or something or whatever. Yeah, I would rather hear this from a doctor before I heard it it from Giddam that his fucking morbidly obese lifestyle did not affect this at all.

Speaker 1 That seems crazy because all that weight compresses,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 2 honestly, I don't think it had any factor in

Speaker 2 what ailed him and what had to be done. I think it was

Speaker 2 unavoidable

Speaker 2 Like he couldn't have avoided it. I guess like it just like was an accidental thing, like a freak thing.
I don't think it had anything to do with his lifestyle choices. I really don't.

Speaker 2 I don't think he, yeah, I just don't think if he was like, okay, I'm eating

Speaker 2 no natties and

Speaker 2 straight all-factor meals, you know, it still would have happened. I think it still would have happened, though.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I am, you know, I'm sure this goes without saying, but like, I was enormously relieved to hear that it went so well. That was, that was a nice

Speaker 2 fine.

Speaker 2 It went fine, the doctor said. He didn't use the word so well.

Speaker 2 He said the word's fine. It went fine.

Speaker 1 All right. Hopefully, it does fine.

Speaker 1 It was good.

Speaker 2 And it said it took up to a year, though, for him to get back to full range of what he had before. This was ailing him, though.

Speaker 1 He said that his biggest problem is he may not be able to look up that well.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I told him looking up is overrated.
Looking down is way more important.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I looked up

Speaker 1 the floor.

Speaker 2 Because you don't want to trip on anything.

Speaker 2 The only reason you look up is

Speaker 2 if something, you feel something hit your head, you know, and you look at bird shit or something.

Speaker 2 That's really the only time I ever look up.

Speaker 1 If you think you got shit up.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 I hate to do this. Go ahead, Q.

Speaker 1 I said I'm going to miss him for a month.

Speaker 2 Yes, I said even today when I walked in, it was weird that he's not not here yeah the office is quiet you know there's been no rambling

Speaker 1 ramble free zone

Speaker 2 non-sequitur stories just flying left and right you know

Speaker 1 yeah yeah when i saw him yesterday he seemed to be in good spirits and he did seem to be like he was like he wasn't really in pain he was like he seemed normal you know yeah i think that i think that wore off i think the yeah i think he uh the pain started to kick in last night That sucks.

Speaker 2 He told me he was freaking out, though, after the operation because they wouldn't give him his phones.

Speaker 1 Oh, really?

Speaker 2 Yeah, he said that he made such a fucking stink that eventually they had to go get the phones to fucking calm him down

Speaker 2 because he wanted to make sure that his father had heard the news.

Speaker 1 I did hear him at one point for some reason, like when they were in the hallway before he came in the room, he didn't know we were in there, so he was talking to the people, and then he reminded somebody that he was on the spectrum.

Speaker 1 I don't know what it was about, but I just heard him say that. I was like, Yep, that's Giddam.

Speaker 2 But I'm sure that I'm sure his dad was fucking going bonkers, you know, because you hear four hours and then it's 10 o'clock and you still haven't heard anything. That can that's just excruciating.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 man, I wish we lived in a world where we could get the surgeon on this show to talk about it.

Speaker 2 Well, get him in, get him.

Speaker 2 He said that he could smell his own. He said that he felt his doctor was high on the spectrum as well.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he said that, like, you won't look at him.

Speaker 2 Like, the doctor won't look him in the eye.

Speaker 1 He said.

Speaker 2 And then he texts me like right before

Speaker 2 surgery's at 2 o'clock. He texts me at 1.50.
He goes, I'm still not down there. And he goes, and I said, well, I'm sure the doctor, you know, is just getting ready.
I go, I wouldn't worry about it.

Speaker 2 He goes, no, no, I'm glad that he's taking his time. I don't want him to rush through things.

Speaker 1 He goes,

Speaker 1 oh, man.

Speaker 1 I love Gedim. I'm glad he's, I'm glad he's, he's, uh, he got that taken care of.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like I said, hopefully, yeah, now it's

Speaker 2 a much more

Speaker 2 easier existence for him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It did, it did hurt my heart to see him walking around like that.
Dude, like, I, he was so unbalanced. Yeah, and he was just like feeling out every step.

Speaker 1 Like, I'd be driving home from the studio, and I'd just be thinking about him and be like,

Speaker 1 I'm not even fucking around. I'm not even saying it for effect.
Like, I'd be driving home, and it would like, my heart would hurt.

Speaker 1 It would be like if you see a dog, like, limping, you know, holding one paw up, and you're like, I just want to help that poor creature.

Speaker 1 That's kind of like what Gethem did to me. And I, like,

Speaker 2 I'm really happy that he that he took care of me i know what a big motivation for him is is that he wants to be able to be

Speaker 2 uh you know walking and

Speaker 2 handle uh key west he said oh great oh good oh that's his goal yeah that's yeah he mentioned it twice to me that like he wants to he wants to make sure that he's all better by uh april is it you know yeah april april 10th wow okay so i've done it again i've inspired and lifted people.

Speaker 2 I've got to put a picture of you up in one of the wings.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to name it the Brian Quinn wing, the hospital, for all your efforts.

Speaker 1 Just a picture of two where he says, I did it again.

Speaker 2 And he texts me before I was leaving. I asked him, like, you want me to bring you anything? You want a snack or anything? And he goes, he goes, are you going to bring Teddy? I'm like, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 Are you insane?

Speaker 1 I go, I'm not going to try to bring a dog into a hospital. You barely get him into a movie theater.
Right. And I go, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 No, I'm not bringing Teddy. And you know what? I fucking, I'm leaving the other night there.
And sure enough, some fucking person is bringing a dog into the dog. The other dog?

Speaker 2 And it wasn't no service dog. Way more misbehaved than Teddy could ever be.

Speaker 2 This dog was bouncing everywhere like a little poodle puppy.

Speaker 1 And I was like, what the fuck, man?

Speaker 2 I couldn't believe that this lady was bringing a dog into the hospital.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, like with you, they're like, license? Oh, you have it? Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Go ride the escalator. Jump.

Speaker 1 That kid's back on the escalator. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 We'd be remiss if we didn't mention, you know,

Speaker 2 on bad news of Kev's mom passing away.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Grace is no longer with us. Very cool lady.
Always very friendly. Always happy to see you.
Like, she was cool. I mean, you know.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 No, I was just going to say, like, I would see Grace, you know, when I worked for Kevin directly, like, she was always very nice to me.

Speaker 1 But then, like, you know, there would be periods where I didn't see Grace for four years. You know what I mean? Then I'd run into her at Comic-Con or whatever.
And always so kind and

Speaker 1 always so concerned with how I was doing. And, like, she really was like a really, really great, great lady.

Speaker 1 I was sad to hear that she passed on. I mean, he was

Speaker 2 always good to his mom and uh you know that's she was she i mean his job was to make his mama proud he did it because uh she was so proud of him and all that he he accomplished she told me privately that she wasn't really that

Speaker 1 one one time this is a long time ago yeah

Speaker 1 yeah it sucks man

Speaker 2 it does man it's just we're getting older man and this shit like this is going to start happening yeah like people you know start dropping dropping off.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, let's think of something happier.

Speaker 2 Well, there was one. I mean, I did get an email from somebody wanting to know why I didn't mention Ace Fraley's passing on the pod.
Oh, really?

Speaker 2 Yeah, the only reason I didn't mention it was because probably it happened. He passed away during a week we didn't record.

Speaker 2 And then it was the Halloween episode. And then you're three weeks removed, and you didn't mention it, and you kind of

Speaker 2 forgot. But yeah, Ace Fraley, the spaceman.

Speaker 1 So, what words have you come up with since then to make up up for it?

Speaker 2 Um, go buy his solo album from 1978. It is the best kiss album ever.

Speaker 1 Agreed, and I was on a kiss pod for many years. Yeah, that is

Speaker 2 that is the greatest kiss album, and it and it's all by one guy. I mean, that showed you how talented he was.
He was probably the most talented of all four members, uh, but

Speaker 2 yeah, the it sucks,

Speaker 1 but we're getting started.

Speaker 2 Especially at that age where you're going to start losing these guys you loved, these artists, and that you

Speaker 2 from your childhood.

Speaker 1 But with him, it was like it was almost like not preventable, but like he just bumped his head. Oh, yeah, I mean.
No, that's how he died?

Speaker 2 I think he had a fall in his studio.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he fell down in the studio and bumped his head or something.

Speaker 1 And then it was like a couple of days later, right? Like, then he went to the hospital a couple days later?

Speaker 2 I'm not sure the timeline, but I don't even know if that's accurate. I did hear that rumor, too, that it was from a fall in the studio, but

Speaker 2 I mean

Speaker 2 you just never know what it's going to be, man. Whoever thinks it's going to be fucking, you know, just hitting your head.

Speaker 1 Right, yeah. That's how my grandfather died.
He uh

Speaker 1 he was my mom's Pam's dad.

Speaker 1 He was our age. He was like 57 and he fell off a ladder when he was like working on something outdoors.
Fell backwards, hit his head, didn't go to the hospital. Next day he died.

Speaker 1 You know, who knows if it could have been prevented.

Speaker 2 Bates did go to the hospital, though, and they still couldn't prevent it.

Speaker 1 So, you know,

Speaker 1 everybody dying. Well, you know what? Walt, I got one more ed if you want to.
No. I do.
What? I do. I missed it.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. Just the War of the Undead.

Speaker 1 This is the audiobook, yeah.

Speaker 1 We keep forgetting to talk about it, Q, but there is an audiobook out there, which is available both on audio, audible, and tellemstevedave.com. It's the War of the Undead radio play

Speaker 1 with

Speaker 1 all kinds of different voice talents, people you've never heard of.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's awesome. Yeah.
And there's a great podcast, a couple great podcasts, as well as the audio reading.

Speaker 2 It's well worth your $6.99 on tellhemstevedave.com or whatever the price may be on Audible.

Speaker 1 That's pretty expensive.

Speaker 2 Which is a little bit, which is a lot more on Audible, but I guess you get the ease of Audible if you have some free credits. You could use it towards that.
Right.

Speaker 1 And we also have the Christmas pod coming up. So we'll be here next week with a regular pod, and then the next week will be Christmas.

Speaker 2 I'm going to take two weeks off after

Speaker 2 Christmas, and then we'll come back after.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, we always come back after New Year's. Yeah, there's always a couple weeks off.

Speaker 2 I need to recharge those batteries.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Done.
Done. Done.
Yeah. I'm looking at my calendar now.
So you're saying next week, the week of the 8th, we're doing an episode, then the Christmas episode, then two weeks off. Yep.

Speaker 1 All right. So that's a pretty long stretch.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But until then, gotta talk about some fat news.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 1 Boom, ba-ba-boom-ba-ba-boom bomb boom.

Speaker 1 Fat news.

Speaker 1 Ooh, chicken.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure if you've seen Amy Schumer

Speaker 1 lately. I have not.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, that's not true. I saw a picture of her.
She's like... like, she's in a red dress.

Speaker 1 I don't know what picture I saw, but I was really happy for her. She looks like, like, way healthier, right? Like, she's a lot healthier, a lot thinner.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 She, uh, I guess she had some kind of disease. I can't remember what it was.
I don't know if, like, that was somebody right, like, one of her fits.

Speaker 1 Like, every once in a while, you hear these stories about like, there'll be a

Speaker 1 person, like a famous person, and they're like, you know, on stage or they're on TV or they're in a movie, and somebody will be like, hey, I noticed this puffiness around your eyes. It could be this,

Speaker 1 or I noticed this. And I think somebody said that to her.

Speaker 1 They're like, You know, I noticed one of her fans was like, I have the same affliction, whatever it was, that would make her face all puffy and shit and fat.

Speaker 1 So I guess somebody turned her on to that. Now she's like, Oh, wow.
How the fuck do you get as far as she does and as rich as she is and not have a doctor to pick up on that?

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 But anyway, she's skinny now.

Speaker 1 There was a now this is, I was talking to Troy about this.

Speaker 1 There's a lady that was on a Delta flight, okay?

Speaker 1 Delta passenger cries after catching a glimpse of

Speaker 1 seatmate's body-shaming text. I feel like a prisoner.

Speaker 1 Now, this is a passenger on a Delta airlines flight silently cried ahead of a two-hour flight after she saw her seatmate send a demeaning text complaining about being wedged next to a huge woman.

Speaker 1 Oh, it would feel terrible.

Speaker 2 Like if she got, if I texted that to somebody and then that lady saw it,

Speaker 2 oh, I would feel, I would just be, I would feel like an inch.

Speaker 1 I would just want to

Speaker 2 crawl into the seat and just never come out.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So this lady said, we've taken off and I can't stop crying. The man next to me sends one text.
Erg, huge woman sat next to me. I saw because.
What the fuck is wrong with?

Speaker 2 I mean, you can't, like, if you're going to send texts like that, make sure that you're going fucking, you're not showing your phone to everybody.

Speaker 1 It can't be like our text where

Speaker 1 the font is so big that everybody can see it from the back row, even if you're in first class.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you have to say, oh, that's horrible.

Speaker 2 I bet you the dude, too, is probably not even

Speaker 2 mortified. I bet you he's just like,

Speaker 1 whatever.

Speaker 1 She's fine. Well, I mean, look, let's just.
The devil's advocate, bro.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 The devil's advocate here.

Speaker 1 I mean, I've been on flights, sat next to

Speaker 1 a great big person, and it's not comfortable. Like, you are victimized a little bit.
Like, if he hadn't sent that text, all my sympathies would be with him. You would be suffering silently.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like, I don't think you should, you know, I don't, I wish she hadn't seen that text, but he didn't turn to her and be like, yo, Fatty, keep your flab on the other side of the thing.

Speaker 1 Like, he was complaining to his wife or something about the fact that this person is so fucking big that like she's taken up half his seat, which has happened to me.

Speaker 1 And it's like, motherfucker, you know, like, why aren't you buying two seats? Like,

Speaker 1 so there's two sides, I guess, to every story. But

Speaker 1 yeah, you know, I feel bad for her. I do feel bad for the lady.
Nobody wants that. Well, she says.

Speaker 1 That the man seemed to realize that his text was rude and quickly started to send a series of empty texts to push the body shaming message farther up his screen until it was out of sight.

Speaker 1 I mean, how much is she looking at this guy's phone?

Speaker 2 Why not just put the phone away?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, you're about to take off, probably. She explained that she didn't need two seats and the man was actually spilling more into her seat.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 She, since she posted the now viral video, it's garnered more than a million views and 121,000 likes. And she said that

Speaker 1 she

Speaker 1 had already lost 60 pounds, and that's why it was difficult to hear because she's on a weight loss journey, as they say. Well, well, well, now I'm on her side.

Speaker 1 Now this guy's taking up two seats, and this woman's doing something to improve his health, and she's getting shit from this guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I'm with her now.

Speaker 1 So, some people criticized her for seemingly snooping over her seatmate's shoulder. That's a scumbag move.
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But the biggest fat news, if you guys are ready to hear it,

Speaker 1 is that it's not Ozempic,

Speaker 1 but it's an Ozempic-like drug that I started taking a couple weeks ago. ago.
Really? Get out of here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm shooting for Q-West. Be back in shape.
I've done it again. I've done it again.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't raise my arms yet.

Speaker 1 It's all because of Q?

Speaker 2 You went to a doctor and they were like, you qualify? Because

Speaker 2 you're not in that stratosphere, I would think, that you would be like,

Speaker 2 yeah, you're,

Speaker 2 you qualify for a drug rather than just hard work.

Speaker 1 Well, they, I mean, I think it's a little, they're a little bit looser with it than they were in the beginning now.

Speaker 1 So it's like you send in like photos of your body from different angles, and then I guess they try to like estimate your BMI.

Speaker 1 They take your height and your weight and all that other shit, and then they manufacture, they, they concoct this, uh, this, this drug that, you know, you, it makes you not hungry, I'll tell you that much.

Speaker 1 Like, it does, it does work with that. Like, it makes you not like.

Speaker 2 You're not worried that it's too new on the market and that, there could be a fallout of this in a couple years and you're like, you know, that I did think of that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But then I was like, I really want to fit into my clothes in Q West.
Like, really? Like, for who, though? Like, for myself at QS that you're for myself, yeah.

Speaker 1 Just like, I have so many cool clothes for the summer and I can't fit into my clothes. You can't let them out? You can't get them let out? No, not as much as they would need to be let out.

Speaker 1 Because I bought them when I was like, I primed, like, when I was right before I got married, I was like 198 pounds.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. I thought you were like, you're just like, you're prime.
Like, I brought him at Chess King in 1987.

Speaker 1 Fucking chess king, man.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I would be terrified to take that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I'm just like, yeah, that's, that's, that's fucking,

Speaker 2 that's alien tech and shit. Like, now all of a sudden there's, there's a pill that like

Speaker 2 doesn't require you to exercise now.

Speaker 1 That's weird. Well, no, they say diet and exercise too.
They're not like, this is not a miracle drug that's just going to take the weight off if you just take this.

Speaker 2 How long have you been on it? About three weeks. And what are some of the side effects that could happen? I'm not saying they did happen, but what are creativity?

Speaker 1 What have been

Speaker 1 nausea, constipation? I haven't had any of that because I've been drinking a fuck ton of water. So I think that helps a lot.

Speaker 2 What does water help with, though?

Speaker 1 With constipation.

Speaker 1 In case you get it, you know, it just, it like lubricates your intestines and keeps everything flowing freely.

Speaker 1 Because I remember like when I, when I had when I was taking opiates, they contribute to constipation. I was not drinking a lot of water then and oh boy.

Speaker 1 Oh boy.

Speaker 1 Not fun.

Speaker 2 That's the silver bullet, right?

Speaker 2 That's what everybody in Hollywood's taking, right?

Speaker 1 The Ozempic stuff? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, that's what Amy Schumer, there was a revolt against her because she was so into like the fat body positivity and shit.

Speaker 2 And now they assumed she was on that.

Speaker 1 They turned on her. Yep.
All your Sioux fans turned on her.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but she looks great. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She does look so much better. Let me tell you something.
As being a guy who has been fat and has been thin, nobody ever comes up to you and tells you you look great when you're fat.

Speaker 1 But when you lose weight and you're thin, people are like, hey, you're looking good. You're looking better.
You look like you lost weight.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 hopefully, you know, it goes great, though.

Speaker 1 It's my vanity, Walt. It's my vanity that's at play here.
I need to be great looking at 58.

Speaker 1 Already married. No reason to keep going.
I'm telling you.

Speaker 2 You don't have to.

Speaker 2 Here's maybe get off these weird drugs and just go buy yourself some fucking just for men.

Speaker 1 Yeah?

Speaker 1 It's not going to hurt you.

Speaker 2 It's a proven quality. FDA has approved it, and you don't got to worry about any of these weird side effects coming out like 10 years later or you got like a third butthole or something.

Speaker 1 But there are some side effects that I heard, like Ozempic face. It's like people's like, if you use it too much, your jaws get very like angular and skeletal and shit.

Speaker 2 You can overuse it, like take more than you need to?

Speaker 1 I think so, yeah. I think it can be abused.

Speaker 1 Jesus. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And how much do you take a day?

Speaker 1 I only take it once a week. Once a week.
It's once a week. It's a self-defense.
It's a shot? Yeah, it's a shot. And the needle is like, that's what, like, at first, I was like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure if I can do this.

Speaker 2 Dude, you're getting fucking shots left and right. You're like a pincushion.

Speaker 1 Epidurals. Epidurals.
Yeah, he's like, he had to stick me three times for the epidural. Now the Ozempic stuff, yeah.
But I like to maintain.

Speaker 2 Is the same same doctor? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 It's not the same doctor. No, this I did it all online, the

Speaker 1 Ozempic type stuff.

Speaker 2 Who's administering the needle?

Speaker 1 Me. Oh,

Speaker 1 it's so small, though, you don't even feel it. Do you have enough needles now for this?

Speaker 1 Well, I always have because, like, the testosterone, like, that's it, that's a needle, but that's a different kind. It's like you just push it against your skin, and then it fills up like the

Speaker 1 tube empties. You don't even feel it.

Speaker 2 You don't have to find a vein or anything?

Speaker 1 No, no, nothing like that. No, nothing like that.
It's all like subcutaneous.

Speaker 1 I don't know what

Speaker 1 Just like under your skin, like just under the

Speaker 1 skin.

Speaker 1 So we'll see how that goes. I'll keep everybody updated.

Speaker 2 How many months are you on it?

Speaker 1 Just three weeks now. Three weeks.
Yeah. Have you seen benefits?

Speaker 1 I started at 255,

Speaker 1 went down to 251.4 the first week. Then it was Thanksgiving, so I went back up to 251.8.

Speaker 1 And now I'll see this.

Speaker 2 Oh, did you curtail your Thanksgiving?

Speaker 1 Not as much as I should have, evidently, because I gained half a a pound.

Speaker 1 I mean, half a pound.

Speaker 2 I mean, but did you, were you like cognizant of like, I got to make sure, you know, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't eat too much. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, I don't get, like, it's turkey.

Speaker 1 Turkey's pretty good. No, no, no.
Turkey's great. Yeah.
It's the stuffing and the potatoes and the desserts and all that shit. Those are like the desserts are my weakness.

Speaker 1 That's where I falter is the sweets. I got a sweet tooth.

Speaker 1 Sweet teeth. What about what about as a fellow volcano user? Like, what about

Speaker 1 when you get high and you're like, all all right, time to stuff my fucking face and enjoy myself for once? It is so difficult to not do it.

Speaker 1 It's still difficult. It's super difficult to not eat.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It doesn't cure the munchies. No.

Speaker 1 But I have to maintain because I'm like, am I going to feel better eating this shit? food, that like some kind of donut or some kind of snack food?

Speaker 1 Or am I going to feel better when it's April and I'm like, oh, my shirt fits. Right.
That's what I have to keep telling myself, you know,

Speaker 1 while fucking downing all this fucking water. I was talking to Walt about it.
Like, I'm also on a hydration kick because I

Speaker 1 even the, oh, I think, yeah, I think I talked about this where I went to the blood. Yeah, we spoke about this.
Yeah, I went to get my blood drawn and they're like, you're dehydrated.

Speaker 1 So I've been drinking 100 ounces of water a day.

Speaker 1 It's a lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's a real lot.

Speaker 2 Now, has that been recommended, 100 ounces by your doctor?

Speaker 1 Or are you just going to get it? I looked it up.

Speaker 2 You always do this. Remember, you're going to pump iron?

Speaker 1 Right, yeah. And then I'm in in the hospital.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're like, are you drinking too much?

Speaker 1 Now it's like that wee for a wee where I'm like,

Speaker 1 what's it called? Hypoxia or something?

Speaker 1 Like, you're going to have a dry drowning when you fall asleep and shit.

Speaker 1 No, I went online and it's like, you, as a person with my height and my weight, here's how much water you should drink. 100 ounces.
100 ounces, yeah. Which is short of a gallon.

Speaker 1 A lot of people drink like a gallon or two a day. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's nuts.

Speaker 1 Your wife's a big water drinker, isn't she?

Speaker 2 You know what? She used to be, but I have to scold her every once in a while. Yeah, I have to tell her,

Speaker 2 don't you fuck worry about my water intake? I haven't seen you drink any water over the last fucking few hours.

Speaker 1 I can just imagine in the 30 years you've been married, you've never spoken to her once like that. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's definitely not that tone, but I'll

Speaker 1 definitely not. But in my head, it is.

Speaker 1 I might say quite in my head, but

Speaker 2 you know what boggles my mind? Because I even told the doctor, I was like, how come Sprite looks like water and it's not good enough?

Speaker 2 Like, why can't it just be Sprite?

Speaker 1 It just has bubbles.

Speaker 1 Right? It looks just like water, I told the doctor. Why can't it just be Sprite?

Speaker 1 So does arsenic.

Speaker 1 It doesn't mean anything.

Speaker 2 Because I'm just like, man, I can fucking do 100 ounces of Sprite.

Speaker 1 No problem. Lickety split.

Speaker 2 You know, in my sleep,

Speaker 2 I could do a Sprite, but the water, man, holy shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I agree with you because I went to Chili's the other day and I drank, I had a, you know, a couple of Diet Cokes and I'm like, but I can't count this.

Speaker 1 Because I remember you saying that, like the doctor said, don't count soda. Right.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, but this is like, this is like almost,

Speaker 1 you know, after probably 20-ounce soda. So I'm like, that would have been 40 ounces for the day I would have knocked out, but

Speaker 1 it doesn't count.

Speaker 2 I'm not even worried so much about the calories and the sugar and everything. I'm just talking about the

Speaker 2 water benefits. Right.

Speaker 1 Like, it looks like water.

Speaker 2 It feels like water.

Speaker 1 It doesn't taste like water. It doesn't taste like water, man.
Isn't it good enough, Doc?

Speaker 2 On a sprite regimen?

Speaker 1 All-sprite diet.

Speaker 1 Did you guys?

Speaker 1 Speaking of old businesses like Chess King and

Speaker 1 Rickles, you said Rickles in general. Did you have those out in Staten Island? We didn't have a Rickles.
We had Chess King

Speaker 1 in the Staten Island Mall.

Speaker 2 So what was your hardware? What was your hardware supplier before there was a ball?

Speaker 1 We're covered in Ace Hardwares on Staten Island? Okay, okay. Yeah, and we have a lot of independent actually hardware shops on Staten Island.
But

Speaker 1 I don't know if you guys were partial to Cheat Cheese back in the day. The restaurant? Yeah.
Yeah, I remember Chiat Cheese.

Speaker 2 I've seen it on the side of the.

Speaker 1 There was a Chi Cheese on Staten Island that, like, when I was a, you know, young, I mean, I was a kid, you know, loved it. And I just read that cheat cheese is coming back after 21 years.
Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I was fucking so excited.

Speaker 1 I was like, I was like, I was like, I did it years ago and went to a Chi cheese and liked it so i but there's no there's never been any around here yeah it was one on staten island that was fucking dope as fuck and i and uh i was sad they went out of business because they had like

Speaker 1 a company-wide listeria fucking thing where they like people were dying and they just folded 21 years ago and somebody was like we're bringing them back so they're they're starting to open them up again so i'm i'm excited to go to chi cheese was that um like mexican food yeah yeah yeah that's why i never went fried ice cream, shit like that.

Speaker 2 That's stuck inside of chi cheese.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.

Speaker 1 I'm excited. I got all kinds of stories here.
Well, women's farts smell worse than men's. How to make yourself poop regularly in the morning.

Speaker 2 Well, why do the women's morning farts smell worse than men? You want to know that?

Speaker 1 Is it just

Speaker 1 their science to back it up?

Speaker 2 Because of their

Speaker 2 some sort of breakdown in their digestive tracts? Like, do they not

Speaker 1 farts?

Speaker 1 It's not good good for us. It's not good for guys.
On average, humans fart up to 23 times a day, but not all of those tubes are created equal.

Speaker 1 The women's gas smells worse than men's, and there's a scientific reason why. But next time you catch a whiff of your wife's wind, take comfort.

Speaker 1 That stink could be a sign that she's less likely to develop Alzheimer's.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 They recruited 16 healthy adults with no history of gastrointestinal issues, and each had them strap on a flatch collection system, which was essentially a rectal tube connected to a bag.

Speaker 1 And then they chowed down on pinto beans and took a laxative.

Speaker 1 Jesus, can you imagine being a part of this society? Fucking freak show, man. Somebody was jerking off during that whole thing.
It sounds very kinky, doesn't it?

Speaker 1 It sure does.

Speaker 1 They put samples to a sniff test.

Speaker 2 They were brought in from who's taking that test? Who's taking that sniff test?

Speaker 2 Like they're going to pay somebody to be like.

Speaker 1 It says the doctor and his colleagues ran a gas chromatograph mass spectrum spectroscopic analysis to break down exactly what was in those bags. Oh, so they they don't sniff it.

Speaker 1 The sniff test is done by a computer, I guess.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, two judges are brought in to rate each fart on a scale of zero to eight with ape being very offensive. And they were unaware they were smelling human flatulence.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's how they get it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 they don't tell the poor schmucks what they're smelling

Speaker 1 because nobody's signing up.

Speaker 2 Well, I guess they would have people sign up for it, but you don't want those people in your building.

Speaker 1 Well, it says here's the reason. Men tended to pass larger volumes of gas, but

Speaker 1 female flatulence contained a significantly higher concentration of hydrogen sulfide

Speaker 1 and they had a greater odor than intensity than men's. And that's why women get more embarrassed about their farts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I guess

Speaker 1 it says well, hydrogen sulfide is highly toxic in large amounts. Small doses, like those found abundantly in women's gas, may help protect aging brain cells against Alzheimer's disease.

Speaker 1 So that's the whole reason.

Speaker 1 Because they have more hydrogen sulfide, but it's good for them and bad for us.

Speaker 2 Guys. So guys, it doesn't matter how much we fart, it's still not going to really affect

Speaker 2 our brains.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess not.

Speaker 1 We're fucked.

Speaker 1 Every way you look, Q, you're fucked.

Speaker 2 Women got it so easy.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 Fucked coming, fucked going.

Speaker 1 Just fucked.

Speaker 1 Just fucked over and over again.

Speaker 1 I don't know, guys.

Speaker 1 I don't know anymore.

Speaker 1 There's all kinds of stuff going on.

Speaker 1 Oh, you can talk about micropenises if you want. This is a big week for, like, we were talking about

Speaker 1 Hitler having the micropene. And since then, I found out that the Golden State killer,

Speaker 1 you remember him? Yeah. He may only have been caught because of his micropenis.

Speaker 1 Because I guess, like, because he was also known as the East Bay rapist

Speaker 1 before he was the Golden State Killer. And a lot of women were like, yeah, it's not much there.

Speaker 1 The women that he raped.

Speaker 1 So he got busted with a micropene.

Speaker 1 Jeffrey. Well, because it does something.
Of course.

Speaker 1 To me, it's not surprising that there's a

Speaker 1 far link.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like if you've got a micropenis, that there's going to be psychological ramifications, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I get it.

Speaker 1 I, you know, I've said on this show many, many times,

Speaker 1 everybody knows how important dicks are to dudes. You know, a lot of your identity gets wrapped up in that bad boy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but most people just go buy a fucking nice sports car. They don't terrorize the fucking community.

Speaker 1 They've been for you for decades, murdering and raping their way through the East Bay.

Speaker 1 Micropenis, though, is different from like small penis. Micropenis is like...
Micro's bad. That's a medical community telling you that you're a fucking little, little, little tiny cockboy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, that's. Like we've all agreed on this length.

Speaker 1 Science is telling you that you, sir, have the smallest penis around. I might snap and start killing people then, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't know. Could affect you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jeffrey Epstein victim described Jeffrey Epstein's penis as extremely deformed, small, and lemon-shaped. Ew.

Speaker 1 Now, lemons normally, you know, are like

Speaker 1 sort of oblong.

Speaker 1 I've never had a lemon.

Speaker 2 I never even held a lemon, I don't think.

Speaker 1 I'm going to break out. You'd break out if you held a lemon, break out in something.

Speaker 1 And also, I'm not sure if you guys are familiar with Michael Ray Bauer,

Speaker 1 who's Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts. Do you remember that show, Q?

Speaker 1 No, I never saw it. Okay, it was an early 90s Nickelodeon show that he was on.
Yeah, I remember it. I just never saw it.

Speaker 1 And he has a podcast, and I caught part of it the other day, and he was just like, I just want everybody to know I have a micropenis.

Speaker 2 He has like a real heavy lisp, and he's like, Was this a joke, or is this a revelation?

Speaker 1 No, it was just a revelation, I guess, that he was.

Speaker 2 Why,

Speaker 2 what's the impetus for telling this to the world?

Speaker 1 My theory would be clicks. Sympathy? Sympathy and clicks.
Yep.

Speaker 1 There's no, because Mary Beth was there. She's when I was listening to it, and she's like, turning to me, she's like, why would anybody say that unprompted?

Speaker 1 Like, why would anybody be like, oh, by the way, guys, I have a micropenis. I have a theory.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I have a theory. I think because it's like getting in front of it.

Speaker 1 You know, like, he already feels whatever he feels. I don't want to say the word shame, but like, he already feels something,

Speaker 1 you know, about the fact that he has a micropenis. So, like, if you get ahead of it a little bit and then like you have sex with a woman that has heard that you have a micropenis, there's no,

Speaker 1 you know, there's no reveal and shame. It's like, hey, you knew you were getting into.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but this woman would have to listen to his podcast, which I think most people probably don't.

Speaker 1 Sure, I guess.

Speaker 1 Unless it spreads somehow throughout Hollywood. I mean, it's spreading right now.
I mean, aren't we doing our part? We are, you're right.

Speaker 2 Do you think that would qualify you for like maybe like to get like handicapped plates

Speaker 2 for your car? So like, you know, would that, would that?

Speaker 1 It should. I think it should.
It really should. Yeah.
I think we could all come together and be like, guys,

Speaker 1 if you're born with a micro penis, there's no reason you should have to walk all the way in a parking lot.

Speaker 1 I agree. Like, life's been shitty enough to you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Park nice and close at the mall.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tell them, see, Dave.