#655: Grisly Man

Probably puts it between his legs like this and then blasts his ass off.

Teddy's here.

Teddy's here.

Teddy's here.

He gave a full gory confession, including that he planned to liquefy the body in a blender and flush it down the toilet, starting with the brain.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

I look around the table, and boy, I see some handsome guys.

I see Walt Flanagan.

Hello.

CBQ.

Hello, hello.

To a lesser extent, I should get him.

Howdy, y'all.

How are you stacking?

He's got a mic today.

He does.

This is exciting.

Put it out for himself.

He must have something to say.

The biggest news, no bigger news, Q

than what happened with Teddy this weekend.

Oh, yes, yes.

Please tell me what's

going on.

Thank you.

Teddy had his big photo shoot

and

a stage mom over here.

Momager.

Going up on a Saturday up to North Jersey Jersey is

hellish, even.

I know it's not rush hour traffic, but it was still pretty packed.

And I get up to the photo shoot and I pull into this,

it's like a there's like a building that's a studio and then its neighbor is a pizza parlor, but I could see there was a group of people out front with a dog.

So I kind of figured I had the right location, but I didn't take Teddy out when I got out of the car.

I wanted to make sure

I knew what was going on before I get him out of the car.

So I walk up to the table, and the lady was like, Are you here with a dog?

And I was like, Yes.

And they're like, Oh, okay, who are you here with?

And I said, I'm here with Teddy.

And the place just exploded with like excitement through Teddy's here.

Teddy's here.

Teddy's here.

They opened the door and screaming, Teddy's here,

which really caught me by surprise.

I did not expect that as like, you know, like a teen heartthrop.

Tommy Osmond just walked up.

And they're like, okay, all right.

We have one dog that's going to go in, and once he's done, you and Teddy can go in and get the start the process.

So I go get the dog and get him out of the car, and he proceeds to everybody, then is like,

falling over themselves, like talking in that crazy, like, baby talk, like, oh, you're so over, like, you know, that kind of, and that really ramps him up to, like, no end.

That's like,

when he hears baby talk, he cannot control himself.

He's just running around and licking everybody and just having just playful and happy.

Everybody's loving it.

So he's all riled up, and the photographer comes over and he's like, do you think he will stand on his, on this mark if you stand next to him, but like if you're off to the side?

And I was like, I, I have no idea.

I said, I don't know.

I go, he's pretty wound up right now.

Everyone's Everyone's talking to him like he's a baby and treating him as, you know, as if they've never seen a dog in their life.

I said, he's so wound up right now.

And they were like, all right, let's give it a shot and see what happens.

And so he goes over and he stands on his mark.

And it was stunning as like he did not move.

Wow.

He did, it was like he had done it before.

Yeah.

And I'm like, I don't know if he had or if he had ever gotten his picture taken, but it was weird.

It was like, everything like just stopped as he like almost as if he knew it was like, okay, I got to come down now and I'm posing for a picture.

Yeah.

And they're like, all right, I'm going to make this weird noise.

He goes, I have this noise to see if he'll do what I hope he does.

And I thought it was going to be a silent noise.

Like I said, like a dog whistle.

Yeah, but it was something.

Unless I got really great hearing and

me, only Teddy heard it, but it was this weird noise.

And when he heard it, his head turned and he clapped, he clicked the photo and he was just like, he just stood up like,

you know, like he had just saw the fucking Leonardo da Vinci's finest work.

He was just like, he's done.

Two seconds.

He goes, this, he goes, unbelievable.

He goes, what a great photo.

And he's like, we're marveling at it.

And he goes, I can't, that was the fastest one we've done today.

And I was like, okay, great.

So we go to leave and we get our prizes.

And I don't know if you're enough to lie to this tell what the prizes were, but it was like a collar

that had the New Jersey State Lottery logo all around it.

Nice.

It's a collar my wife will never put on him.

He got a leash, he got a bowl, and he got a brick of

$5 scratch-offs.

Not bad.

$300 worth of $5 scratch-offs.

So we're getting ready to leave.

Everyone's saying goodbye.

People are taking pictures with him.

Wow, what's going on?

It's like Blenji or something.

Famous dog.

You think it was just the amount of votes that came in was so overwhelming.

Or he's just that fucking

just cute.

And I think these probably are dog people that like probably rallied whoever marketing they're in for the lottery.

They wanted to do this promotion.

But everyone, there's like about 10 employees there for the New Jersey lottery.

And every, they're all women, and they all want a picture with Teddy.

And as I'm leaving, there's this other lady kind of runs out to the car and she's like, before you go, I had a quick question.

And I was like, my hair on the back of my neck fucking stood up.

I was like, uh-oh, it's kind of like how do you feel about timeshares?

She goes, I have to ask.

She goes,

how did you get all these votes

for Teddy?

And the way she said it made me go, but go on the defensive.

And I was like, I don't know.

She's like, well, I mean,

I don't know.

Just happened.

Organically.

Votes?

What do you mean?

And she goes, well, how did you, you know, he had a substantial amount more than the rest of the dog.

So what did you use?

Social media?

And I was like, yeah.

Yep.

She goes, well, who were you posting under?

We couldn't find anything.

You know, we searched for your name.

If ever someone was in need of a smoke pellet.

And I'm like, oh, my God.

The only thing I want to get at her with is that fucking brick a lot of restricted off.

I want to be able to throw the fucking dog dish at her,

stun her, get in a car and drive away.

Death like a heart attack.

Takes out her eye.

Oh, so funny.

So I go, well,

how did you find out about the contest?

And I was like, my mom.

And she goes,

what was your what was she using then?

Did she use the social media?

I was like, Yeah, it was all my mom, I said.

Yeah, okay,

she's very suspicious.

All right, because she knows she was looking for

where was one of the smoking guns, where was no, I don't think so.

My wife was like, No, I think I think she just wants to know because I think she was scratching her head, like, I didn't see anywhere anything

from the people that are registered as Teddy's owner doing anything on social media, right?

So, how did he do this?

Yeah, it was my mom, Sunday Sunday Jeff.

Yeah.

So she was like, okay, she just kind of like, all right, have a good, have a nice day.

And we left, and that was it.

We won $180.

Wow.

All right.

Not bad.

Yeah.

But if you had invested $300

in scratch-offs, you'd be down.

Yeah, you'd walk away upset.

Yeah.

Yeah, you'd be down $120.

How long did it take you to scratch them all?

My wife scratched them off like a,

I don't know, like

life-saving medicine was underneath them.

And they were scratched off by the time we got home.

Oh, great.

We were hoping for the big, you know, 5K, which was the most you can win on these scratch roasts, but not even close.

But, you know, still.

Yeah, still won something.

We're still ahead.

You know, it didn't cost us anything to interim or anything.

Wow.

But yeah, the place was a buzz.

So now we'll see Teddy in the months to come.

April at some point on New Jersey lottery scratch offs.

I don't know which one, though.

I'm sure they'll promote it, though.

I want to be a fly on the wall for when they kept looking at those numbers, being like, what is going on?

Yeah, how did he do this?

Like,

what kind of chicanery is it?

You know, they went home at night and told their husbands and wives, they were like, this dog Teddy is like

climbing the charge.

Have you ever seen that video like in Russia where there's like, oh, there's a room just filled cell phones?

Right, yeah, those cell phone maps.

That's what I had going on.

You got a bot farm at your house?

Didn't the Secret Service thousands to win 180.

Didn't the Secret Service just like bust a room full of cell phones they say could have destroyed New York City, right?

No, it's just some things called ants and fans of impractical jokers.

Solfated.

Yeah, no, it went well, though.

And

he had a ball.

He was friendly and being treated like a...

like a little baby.

For him, it was a great day.

Did you get a cop?

Did they show you the picture?

a picture?

They showed me the picture in person, but then they said they would send it to us, but we still haven't gotten it yet.

That's why I always take a picture of the screen, like when we do photo shoots and stuff, and they're like, Yeah, we'll send them to you.

I'm like, Yeah, they're never going to send this

picture I like.

I always just snap a shot.

I have the card for the guy, photographer.

Oh, all right, you get it.

I'll get it.

Fuck, my wife will make the call.

I'm not, I don't care enough about it.

I'm gonna call for a picture.

I got a thousand of them that I texted to me by my daughter and my wife of 10.

It's funny, isn't it?

Like, there's never enough.

Like, I have so many pictures of fucking my cats on my phone that it's

insane.

I need some good ones that make 8x10s.

Yeah.

That I'm going to sell.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

Get a little paw print thing.

I need a stamp pad, yeah.

Yeah.

Nice work.

Wow, man.

So it sounds pretty painless.

It was painless.

Yeah, it could.

It was painless.

I got to think it was such a successful promotion for the lottery that I'm sure they'll do it again.

I don't think I would enter him again.

I don't think that would be fair.

Well, he might be blocked.

He could, yeah.

I'm sure they'll maybe do pets now and open it up to cats and turtles and stuff.

New Jersey's top pets.

No, no, pumpkins in Pennsylvania.

Yeah.

Turtles and cats.

That's got to be the third most popular or a goldfish means the third most.

I would think birds, no?

Oh, yeah, birds, yeah.

You live with a bird, right?

Little root.

That's just a crow that crashed through his window and can't get out.

No, it's a freaking Harlequin Macaw.

Oh, boy.

It's Chatty Kathy.

No, it doesn't chat.

It just screeches.

Well, that's what I mean.

Yeah.

It eats hamburger.

That sounds healthy for a bird,

for a plant-eating animal.

That's not part of its diet if it was in the wild?

I think they're eaten.

They're mangoes in a bit.

I don't eat nuts and stuff.

They're also not meat.

Yeah, but

I think they might eat carrion.

Right, sure.

Probably.

Oh, roadkill in the jungle?

Probably, yeah.

You think there's roadkill in the jungle?

I've seen videos that they just fly around like in cities and stuff.

And like if people feed them, they'll just come up to their balconies.

And it's just an entire balcony full of like wild parrots and macaws.

It's crazy.

Speaking of cats, I'm not sure if you heard about this story, Q, about Francine.

No.

Down in Richmond, Virginia.

No.

So there's a Lowe's.

There's a Lowe's.

There's a Lowe's.

There's a home store.

Yes, that for eight years has had a cat living in the store.

Okay.

It's like a mascot.

Yeah.

And it suddenly disappeared.

Oh, yeah.

And they went, Lowe's corporate and everyone started going through the video.

This better not end with a dead cat.

No, no, no.

They went through the videotapes and they realized that the cat had jumped onto the back of one of their trucks.

Oh, shit.

And ended up in South Carolina.

Holy shit.

So they got video of the cat running out of the back of the truck when it opened.

Oh, wow.

So a team from the one, you know, they organized a team from the one store to go down there.

Why do you need a team to get a cat?

They wanted people.

They wanted people that the cat knew.

It needs more than one person.

There's a two person.

They've got a lot of area to cover.

Yeah.

So they wanted to.

They're just walking around calling his name, doing all that shit.

So they ended up setting up traps as well with things from people from the school.

It worked for these people.

And they caught her and returned her back to her store.

Wow.

Well, it turns loads for me from now on.

Yeah, that was my question.

Like, if you knew that a local store had a

why would you frequent that store more?

What will they do to make this not happen again in the future now?

They've put a harness on the cat with an air tag.

There you go.

So he has to walk around with a harness now for the rest of his life.

Yeah.

That won't stop him from jumping in the back of trucks, though.

They're smart.

Sometimes they, you know, like if you if you catch a cat in a trap, they usually will never go back into that kind of trap again.

It's like, you know, one time, then they learn.

Okay.

So I'm sure this cat.

Yeah, when my cat,

when Princess Mitch had all those operations, she was terrified of the cat carrier.

After like the first two times I brought her down, like she wanted no fucking part of it.

Yeah.

She knew what it meant.

She'd run like hell.

Yeah, when I was like touring like crazy, every time I would get my luggage out,

Benjamin would like not like he knows it meant I was leaving.

Right.

Yeah, he would get fucking pissy.

They say it.

They see it.

Oh, well, that's a great story.

But it didn't end in a cat.

No, I wouldn't have done that.

Yeah, no, thank you.

That's

that's a good one.

Yeah, I had a cat

disappear.

You know, I have my yard cats, and I had one.

His name's Not Knot, and he disappeared for six months.

I'd written him off at debt, and then two weeks ago, he just fucking strolled up like he ain't never left.

And I was like, Holy shit, motherfucker, where you been?

I sat out there today petting him and feeding them.

It was great.

Well, not petting him, actually.

That's not true.

I didn't pet him.

Yeah, one of my cats did that.

She showed up.

She disappeared in June and came back in December.

Yeah, that just means they found better food somewhere.

Right, yeah, somebody was taking care of it.

Yeah, yeah.

Should we get an AirPod and like, you know, attach it to get him somehow?

He only goes three places every night.

The triangulation is like 600 feet.

He's either on the couch or at the table.

Or on the fucking toilet.

Every time I come and I forgot my key, I'm like, the motherfucker's in the bathroom,

just wasting his life away.

I read books.

You read books in this bathroom?

Oh, God.

Like, public bathrooms, aren't you like, I want to get in

as fast as possible.

That's his banter that he allows the rest of the fucking building to use out of the kindness of his heart.

I only get out of there when someone else shows up because it's either Ron talking on his phone or it's Abram with his, like, he's got a portable bidet thing.

Really?

Yeah.

Jesus.

What is going on in this place?

You've seen him use his portable bidet?

I've heard it.

It sounds like, remember

the old battery-powered water guns?

I'd go like,

no, but like a water pick?

It's so, you'd be like a water gun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know exactly.

So it's this like portable thing you screw into a water bottle, and like I'm in the bathroom one day and I'm just gonna shoot at his asshole.

Yeah, I'm like, where does that water go, though?

Back into the toilet.

So he's got to like position himself.

Probably puts it between his legs like this and then blast his asshole.

Are you charging for toilet paper now in the air?

You're charging the rest of the residents because now he's like, okay, sir.

It's got to be a matter of day now.

Our airport, Air Force Plaza, does not provide the best toilet paper.

He's got to have,

when you get bubbles in your asshole.

What is that called?

Hemorrhoids?

Hemorrhoids.

Bubbles.

He's got to be an asshole.

Wow, I've never heard it.

But I also see him go in there with the baby wipes.

And I think he's flushing them.

Very nice flush.

You didn't talk to him about that?

You didn't fucking lay down the law?

No, well, now it's on record that.

Why don't you put a sign up in there and be like, we've noticed that someone, we don't want to say who is using flushable wipes.

Please do not do that.

I mean, I've gone into the girls' room

after hours when there's no ladies in the building, and there's no less than like six signs about, you know, don't flush tampons.

Yeah.

So I don't think it's a good thing

out of line to be like, you know, don't flush your

what's it called?

These

flushable wipes.

They fuck up the

pipes.

But they are flushable.

No, they are flush.

There's no such thing as a flushable wipe.

It's a scamp.

Yeah, I read that because I use them, and I recently read that.

It's like plumber approved, but it doesn't say anything about

no such thing as a flush wolf.

Right, yeah, exactly.

I think it happened to Kev, where his whole entire system got clogged up with flush wool.

It happened to me.

I told this story on the show.

Remember, the guy reached into my pipe barehanded and just started pulling out

shitty fucking wipes and this Russian dude, and just I tipped him $100.

And I was like, I can't fucking believe that this man

seemed to care.

Now, you said that you took a shot at the quality of toilet paper in the building.

You think it's below standard?

I've had better.

Don't go fucking complaining to the landlord because our rent hasn't gone up the five years we've been here.

That's why I'm not complaining.

It's like Cold War era, Soviet Union toilet paper.

Squeezing hard enough, you get splinters.

To me, I like a grade of toilet paper just below sandpaper.

I really like the ruffer to buy.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

I don't like the

Charmin stuff.

That's too pillowy.

It leaves a lot of little

cling-ons.

Yeah, but I have that bidet at home.

I fucking love it.

Is it portable?

You know, it's built into the toilet.

Like, it just comes out and blasts you.

It's nice.

How hard is the blast?

It's just right.

Just right.

Yeah, it's just right.

Heat it?

Of course.

What do you fucking think?

I work this hard to put my ass on a cold seat.

Shit's using more energy than fucking Bitcoin.

Today we use it.

When you use it all in Staten Island, water pressure goes down.

You save your shit again.

But

they sell

just the units and adjust the toilet seats that you put on any toilet.

And I'm told they work just as well.

They're great.

Yeah, when I get a place, I definitely was thinking about at least one bathroom having that.

Got it.

Yeah, it's nice.

I like it.

I've read all over online how great they are.

Yeah, it's a blast.

Why don't you just borrow

Abrams?

Yeah, no, nothing, but thanks.

Yo, Abe, I know what I'm getting for you.

Can you do a brother solid?

Just reach your hand on that small.

Get a wide stance.

No, no, I want a professional like the heat at one.

Yeah, it's nice.

It is nice.

What's going on over there in Staten Island?

So much.

People getting decapitated.

Wait, what?

You didn't hear about this?

No, what?

Yeah, I was worried about you.

Yeah.

Because the person was unidentified at first.

His fucking head, this head comes off his shoulder.

It's going to kill someone.

Giant fucking block I got.

Yeah, in Staten Island,

there was a kid, I think he was disturbed Staten Island teen accused of decapitating mom's bow

and shares gory confession details.

Wow, what area of Staten Island?

Uh

hmm, maybe I'm a little too unplugged.

People getting beheaded in my fucking area.

Hold on, I have a subscription to the local paper.

He gave a full gory confession, including that he planned to liquefy the body in a blender and flush it down the toilet, starting with the brain.

That would take some amount of time to liquefy a whole body.

West Brighton.

A long time.

West Brighton.

Holy shit.

Damian Hurstel allegedly calmly admitted to cops that he fatally bludgeoned

Anthony Casalaspro, 45 over the head with a meat tenderizer because he wanted to know what it was like to kill someone.

Jesus Christ.

That's insane, man.

Yeah.

He just wanted to know what it was like to kill someone.

And West Brighton's a nice fucking neighborhood, too, man.

How old is the kid?

What did it say here?

19, I think?

19, yeah.

19.

Yeah.

That's right near the zone.

What the fuck with all these noises?

So what?

What is that on?

Shit, silenced it.

Jesus.

Yeah, I guess

a whole bunch of times the cops had had to come here for other domestic violence.

Yeah.

And this was the final.

Holy shit, I didn't hear when did this happen?

It was last week sometime.

I cannot believe it.

I have not heard about this.

This is fucking, I am insane.

I need to fucking really start paying attention.

Are you not paying any attention at all?

Zero attention to anything.

But I haven't for a long time.

Yeah, I'm unplugged.

But that's, I mean,

it's too close to home.

Most two miles from my house.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's like crazy.

Yeah, but it's just, I don't know, for some reason that's stranger and it hits one of the hits.

I mean, that's so shocking.

I cannot believe that this is the first time I'm hearing about it.

Like, usually I have friends across the world who love to make fun of Staten Island.

Right.

They would send that to me immediately.

Let's see.

It says here.

Hold on a second.

The blood-drenched murderer allegedly told his sister, I did something bad, go to your room.

And the unsettling warning went unheeded as his sister followed a trail of blood to the bathroom.

and found the man's dismembered body in the tub with a spoon sticking out of the severed eyes, severed head's eye socket.

Oh my god.

This is grizzly, man.

They're gonna be making movies about this kid.

Yeah.

The mom just kept saying to the son, why would you kill him?

I still loved him.

She was yelling from screaming from outside into the house where her son was.

Holy shit, man.

He was eerily calm when he left the house.

He had blood on his face and Timberland construction boots, but no blood on his clothes.

Well, I will be making some phone calls today and getting the skinny on it.

Yeah.

This is wild.

Carrie Avenue.

Holy shit.

I know someone that used to live there.

So the alleged killer could be sweet as pie, but he was going through some stuff in school, mental health issues.

I'd say so.

No shit.

Yeah.

Besides this, though, what else gives you that impression?

Oh, wow, that is fucking nuts.

And this guy's sanitation.

He's a 45-year-old sanitation guy.

Just about to retire.

They said.

At 45, you can retire?

Isn't that incredible?

I thought the same thing.

Whoa.

20 years, homeboy.

20 years.

Now it's 25 years.

They changed the contract.

So close to retirement.

God damn it.

So close.

And then somebody beats you in the head with a meat tenderizer and then cut your head off.

What an end.

It's not how, yeah, it's like you see some of this shit.

Like, I watch a lot of, you know, true crime stuff.

And it's just like, no, I don't think anybody, unless you're in a high-risk category, like you're a criminal or you're a prostitute or something like that, it's like you don't imagine such a grisly end to your life.

You know, you're probably like, ah, you know,

maybe at worst, I'll get into a car accident or something.

Yeah, I always worried about because when I was in the fire department, I saw so many car accidents.

I saw some guy's brain once, and that teaches you to be like, Yeah, okay, anybody can go like this.

You know what I mean?

Like, I didn't get up that morning thinking, like, yeah, maybe my brain will be all over the fucking Saturn Island Expressway, right?

But you take the risk

when you get in the car, but yeah, just lying in your bed and some kid comes in with a hacksaw and chops you to bits.

No, that's on nobody's bingo card.

No,

nobody's expecting that.

It's a rough one.

Wow.

I saw a gateum's brain once.

It was hanging out of his left ear before he poked it back in with his finger.

Because it's so large and heavy.

His cranium can't contain it.

Learned something really important that day.

Yeah, he poked it back in with his finger.

And I was like, what is that?

He goes, nothing.

It's my brain.

Is that a fish?

You got a fish in your ear.

Is that a clam?

Coach says it's good to bleed out of your ear.

An oyster hanging out of your ear?

I mean, this is the start of it.

This is how

this is the Staten Island Avenue house now.

This is how these things get started.

That's now an attraction.

Yeah, like, how do you live in that house afterwards if you're the mom and the sister?

Like, you just got to get a...

I watched this

documentary called Stalking Samantha.

I'm not going to say too much about it because I highly recommend it on Hulu.

Wow.

What a fucking story about a woman getting stalked by some guy for 10 years, then he takes her captive.

It's a whole thing, man.

This is a fucked up guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like,

she got a restraining order, and then it ran out.

She tried to get another one, and the judge turned it down.

So.

Too soft to watch shit like that.

I get too upset.

You know, I had to shut off a horror movie for the first time in

Maybe My Life the other day.

Oh, what the hell was it called?

Bring Her Back?

Bring Her Back.

Yeah.

And it just hit HBO Max, and it's so disturbing.

You know how you get that guys who are diabetic can take their readings.

They can get their sugar readings and blood sugar and everything.

Yeah.

Measure that estrogen levels.

You might be right, man.

I was like, well.

You turned off a horror movie?

Well, to be fair, it wasn't because I was scared.

Was it rated R?

Oh, yeah.

It was literally so uncomfortable to see.

It wasn't even rated NC 17.

No, and it's Australian, so it's even crazier.

The plot follows two step-siblings who find themselves orphaned and placed in the middle of an occult ritual by their new foster mother.

Yeah.

That's basically it.

It's all

horrific, weird, like child abuse stuff.

And how did you find it?

I heard about it.

It was a horror movie that came out last year.

And their first movie that they did, i liked i forget what movie they those two directors did something talk to me talk to me right i they there's a guy who did talk to me which i thought was was and this was a well-done movie it's just i i can't take seeing kids like it's not like sexual

but you could take adults being graphically tortured in a horror movie i mean like if it's something like hostile I don't want to watch it just because I don't like it, not because I'm like disturbed by it.

This, like, I literally was like, I don't want to watch what's happening to these kids anymore.

And then I went back a couple of days later and just fast-forwarded to the end just to see how it ended.

But yeah,

I was like, I don't want to watch it.

I was like,

it's making me feel too fucking disturbed by what's going on.

That sounds like an older gentleman's plight, right?

Like when you're young, you can take anything.

It's just, yeah.

Yeah, maybe.

I kind of took, I took the movie industry to task on the all-new Sunday Jeff Show Halloween specialist dropping next Tuesday for

Hollywood turning the modern-day horror movie into basically torture porn from where it started to where it is now.

It's not even horror anymore.

Well, this isn't that.

This isn't torture porn.

It's disturbing, fucked up things.

But yeah, I agree with you.

But you don't like slasher movies?

Wasn't that?

Oh, see, I like slasher movies.

I always kind of had a saucepan for them.

Yeah, I never gravitated towards the slasher thing.

And, you know, constantly always having to push the envelope gets us to a point now where to get that kind of shock value, you have to do it now to children or animals.

You've got to get that guttural reaction from the audience.

Well, how do you do it now?

Yeah.

There's only one way now.

Yeah,

then you're right.

We're boxed into now it's like, well, how do I top this?

Yeah.

I feel like the torture point thing peaked with a Serbian film.

I never saw it.

Never heard about it.

It's It's pretty graphic.

Yeah, it's pretty fucked up.

It's up to this.

But like, the Saw movies are like, say what you will about them.

Like, there's fun versions of that where it's like, there's a trap, there's a fucking, there's a fucking, you know, what are they, a Rube Goldberg machine that, like, that?

I'm like, all right, I'll fucking watch this guy's arm get twisted off his body because he fucking gave him a parking ticket 20 years ago.

Whatever the fuck Jake Saw is up to.

But there's something like well-lit, and it doesn't feel like reality.

It feels like a fun horror movie.

I don't know.

But I agree with you.

Like, just torture.

Where do we go?

You know, for the modern-day horror movie, you know, going forward, like, where do you go now to get that remakes?

Yeah.

Well, there's a dog horror movie.

Did you hear about that?

I haven't seen it yet.

Yeah, that.

It's called Good Boy.

Yeah.

And the horror movie.

It's got Satan in it.

Does it really?

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

I heard it's fun.

His owner is possessed, and it's told from the point of view of a dog.

It really intrigued me when I saw the card.

Yeah, I wonder.

I heard it took a long time to film, and I remember.

Not everybody's teddy, bro.

Not everybody hits their marks.

That's what the guy said.

He used his own dog.

Yeah.

The director used his own dog, and he was like, I probably should have used a classically trained dog because he said

it was challenging.

But yeah,

I want to see that just because it's such a cool twist on it to see a horror movie through the eyes of a dog.

Yeah.

Yeah, what his owner's going through.

Yeah, I kind of want to check it out.

I don't know when when that comes out.

When's that come out, Giddam?

Good boy.

And they just did a ghost story, a haunting story from the point of view of a ghost.

It's playing now?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

It came out last year.

It was from the point of view of the ghost.

And it was pretty good.

That I don't recall.

Get him's typing away.

Presence?

Maybe that's it.

Yeah.

2024 Steven Soderbergh.

Yeah, that's it.

And it's like just told from the presence's point of view.

And it's like, oh, that's pretty cool.

So So there's still ways, you know?

But I don't mind a good old-fashioned slasher.

Like, I'm ready for another Friday the 13th.

But are they even making that kind of movie anymore?

Because I don't think that that's enough anymore for today's audience.

They just don't want to see

some guy shambling around silently in a hockey mask and then like

quick

stabbing motions.

Yeah.

But they do want to see like movies like Terrifier.

I think have proven that it's still alive and well, the slasher genre.

But are they doing more than just slashing?

Is there graphic?

Oh,

terrifying movies, that's their selling point.

It's all practical effects, which is awesome.

And it's over-the-top gory, but because it's practical effects, it kind of like hits that sweet spot of like, I know what I'm looking at's not real, but it still looks so fucking cool.

Yeah, terrifying movies are good.

Good fun.

There should be another one coming out soon.

Three or did it come out already?

Three came out, four.

I mean, obviously they're going to make four.

Three made fucking so much fucking money, uh, but I don't think that comes out until 27.

They haven't even started shooting it yet, so okay, yeah, but those Staten Island boys, those are shot on Staten Island, all three terrifier movies, yeah, they're local guys, Monsignor Farrell High School part of it, nice, nice shot at, yeah,

so see, it's not all beheadings, no,

and you know, over there in Staten Island, well, it is because

they're doing it fake, but they're still beheading people, whatever, man.

Well, you were in that Staten Island fairy horror movie, right?

Screenboat, yeah.

I wouldn't say I was in it, but yeah, I popped up in it for a second.

Me and DeRosa, Joe DeRosa.

Got killed by Steamboat Willie.

Did you?

Yeah, yeah.

Screenboat.

He kills me and DeRosa.

I'll have to check it out.

I didn't know that.

Yeah,

Steamboat Willie, that, but it was Mickey Mouse, wasn't it?

Yeah, but he's public domain now.

So they made a movie last year called Screamboat.

Screenboat Willie.

Okay.

And they have this

out-of-service Staten Island ferry that they shot the whole movie on.

And it's

fun.

Was Steamboat Willie a rodent?

He was, he was a little, he was a little, they had a puppet version where he was like, you know, this big, and then when it cuts to shots of him, they had the guy who played Art the Clown in Mickey Met, like, really, Steamboat Willie makeup, and they would do little, you know, miniature shots of him and stuff like that.

I can't, this seems like something that would hit big.

It didn't hit that big.

It did all right.

Yeah, people liked it.

I don't, you know, it wasn't like it didn't take over the world, but it did good.

Yeah.

Okay.

It sounds intriguing.

People, I mean, I've signed a lot of those DVDs, which is usually a sign that

people are.

Oh, it's called Steamboat.

Screamboat.

Screamboat.

Screamboat.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So there you go.

Check it out.

But yeah,

try and watch Bring Her Back.

I'm curious what you think.

Yeah, I'll check it out.

HBO Max.

You say?

HBO Max, yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Guys,

fall is here.

The beers are getting colder, Q.

I know you love that.

And the football's back, Walt.

I know you love that.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And the fits are getting layered.

But if you're still rocking old beat-up boxers under those flannels and jeans, we got to talk.

It's time to upgrade to Miundis.

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So whether you're crushing wings on the couch or tossing the pigskin you're covered.

What do you crush on the couch, Walt, when you're watching football?

Anything?

Nothing.

Nothing.

There's times where I forget to drink.

Really?

Yeah.

And so into the game.

Yeah, I'm so dialed in that like I can, I need almost like an IV.

You know,

like I'm sweating,

I'm jumping, I'm screaming,

throwing shit at Giddam because the fucking feed freezes.

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I'm bouncing it off satellites to the label feed.

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And we got prize picks.

What's prize picks?

This episode, Q, is brought to you by Prize Picks.

You and I make decisions every day, but on PrizePicks, being right can get you paid.

I know.

You notice how Brian didn't answer what's PrizePicks?

He doesn't know what it is.

I don't know what it is.

There's so many fucking rules about what it's not that nobody knows what it is.

Yeah.

It's one page of copy, three pages of don't say this.

I was trying to gloss over that question.

Yeah, sorry.

I was waiting for him to answer.

I was like, because I really want to know what his answer was.

Yeah, I don't know.

No answer.

I know it's just like the government.

Yeah, yeah.

It's some kind of fantasy football thing, I believe.

I'm racist for asking.

Guess I'm going to stop asking questions.

All right, here's something you can help us out with.

Walt,

discuss your thoughts on the football season so far and the upcoming week of football.

There's a lot of shocking teams.

Your Lions are doing well, huh?

The Lions are doing well,

but they were expected to do well.

They've still got their Super Bowl window, I think, is still open for this year and next year.

But there's teams who are out of the gate, like the Colts and the Jaguars, who are also 4-1, and nobody expected those teams to be this good

at the start of the season.

There's some disappointments, like the Baltimore Ravens,

and

it's been a great first quarter of the season so far.

All right.

You're having fun watching.

Except for when Ghido fucks it up.

Well, no,

I understand that

we're illegally watching Detroit Lions football in New Jersey.

I don't expect

a seamless experience.

I understand there's going to be hiccups and

digitized freezing of screens.

As long as it's not during an important play, right?

It's always when it seems to happen.

Oh, really?

Like, it doesn't glitch during a commercial.

It's for a sudden

pass.

And

everything goes frozen.

And then all of a sudden, 10 minutes later,

the game has moved on and you missed all that action.

So

I probably should legally watch my football, but

what would happen?

ESPN?

No, you would have to probably YouTube.

I think you have to sign up for YouTube, has every game you can watch.

Sounds like a fucking business expense to me, bro.

What do I mean?

You're watching it here.

Yeah, and talking about it on PrizePicks.

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Prize picks.

It's good to be right.

How about that guy?

Is he just drunk?

Crazy?

I'm sure it may happen.

It was a former quarterback for the Jets.

named Mark Sanchez, who's now

a color guy for the network, who, you know, you got the play-by-play guy, and then they usually team him up with the next football player.

So Mark Sanchez is working for CBS, I believe, and he's in Indianapolis

the night before the game, and he gets he goes out to the bar.

Probably has a bit too much to drink.

But I would imagine it's going to come out.

It has to be more than just alcohol, I think.

But maybe it is.

Some kind of drug or something that attacked some truck driver who was picking up

greased oil and shit.

just was like, you can't park here.

He just took it upon himself

to speak

for the bar that you can't park here.

And then when the guy didn't listen to him, he threatened him and I guess started assaulting him.

And then the guy, the truck driver stabbed him in the chest.

Holy shit.

He was holding over the hospital.

And then when he was finished with the hospital, he went to jail.

The truck driver looks fucked up if you see pictures of him.

He's 69 years old.

Don't get into a fight with a quarterback that's still sort of like, you know, near his prime.

Yeah, he's still in it.

you know he's still in his late 30s right shit man he beat up a 70-year-old dude basically yeah probably there goes that job oh yeah he's not he'll never work at the network again but i'm sure he's gonna have to come out and reveal that he's going into rehab for whatever substance abuses he's addicted to right now that caused this

yeah but that's not how to help him at this point

well i'm sure he'll only do probation dude there's people who kill people who oh i mean getting his job back yeah yeah he'll never yeah i don't think he's going to go go to jail.

But getting his job back, it'll never happen.

But if he goes, maybe

he played football?

Yeah.

Maybe he could claim concussion.

He's like,

CTE?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what I would do.

I mean,

fucking immediately, I'd be like, guys, I don't think right no more.

Yeah, because the truck driver's already talking about suing him and everything.

You know, shit.

Wow.

I guess it's weird, though, like, you get beat up.

You can stab somebody, and it's self-defense.

Technically, I guess, right?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, like you're worried for your life.

Yeah.

Mark Sanders.

That's got to be so surreal, too, if you're like, you know, all of a sudden in the midst of the attack, you are like, is this fucking Mark Sanders?

Why does he hate me so much?

Why does he care that my fucking truck is in a zone that's not meant for picking up green packages?

I mean, it's for the meal among passengers only.

Jesus.

Like, he was adamant.

He was so furious that this truck was parked there that he attacked the truck driver.

And it's not even his hometown, right?

He didn't didn't even fucking know what's going on.

It's so weird.

Yeah, he's just in town for the game the next morning.

All he had to do was stay in his hotel room at night and watch TV, and

his life would be so much better.

Oh, man.

Yeah, so that was Mark Sanchez.

I was watching TV last night.

I thought this was really funny.

How many Dirty Sanchez jokes did he get razzed by the fucking fans, though?

Probably a lot.

Yeah,

probably a lot.

I would also put that into my defense.

Yeah.

What the fuck

I'm spent hearing dirty Sanchez jokes push me over the edge at the truck driver punch a dirty Sanchez.

You have to submit what a dirty Sanchez is.

Oh, Your Honor, if you don't know.

You stick your finger in her ass and then you wipe it under your nose

like a mustache, you know.

A dirty Sanchez.

What was I going to say now?

I don't know, but I know that's a good idea.

I saw something on TV.

No, I saw something on TV.

That's right.

Called, it affects 50 people a year.

Think about how many people are in this fucking world.

Yeah.

It affects 50 people.

It's not that many.

No.

It's called fatal insomnia or fatal familial insomnia, stemming from a mutation in a gene with the remainder of cases sporadically occurring.

The problems with sleeping typically start out gradually and worsen over time.

Eventually, the patient will succumb to total insomnia.

It's like there's these, they were shown like an MRI or whatever of the brain, like an image of the brain.

And it's like this little part of the brain is supposed to be filled up with like proteins or something and it empties out.

And from that point on,

there's no drug, no method that will allow you to fall asleep.

You're awake forever.

Dude, I read a book about this.

Not about the there's a guy named Charlie Houston.

It's a fiction book.

But he wrote Caught Stealing, which is that series is fucking awesome.

But I think it's called Sleepless.

And it's about a worldwide disease that, like, if you catch it, you cannot fall asleep.

And what that does to society and people.

It's a pretty fucking good book.

Yeah.

Wow.

What about that drug that Michael Jackson was taking to go to sleep?

That wouldn't even go.

No, propanol.

Nothing works.

No, nothing.

It's anesthesia.

Yeah.

And they said, nothing works.

Nothing will put you out.

It's impossible for you to sleep.

What about a knock to the head?

If your brain hits the, you're not going to be able to do that.

But it's about like you're lacking something.

It doesn't shut down.

There's nothing to allow you to shut down.

The process isn't there.

So, yeah, in the book, like a part of the brain rots out.

And that's, and that's why.

Brain rot.

Yeah.

And they can't.

And it's like people

for like months

can't sleep.

And this guy's wife is one of them.

It's kind of crazy.

And you think, like, oh, I could be so productive if I never had to sleep, but it's like it just wears you down

over the course of months, sometimes years, they said.

They're like twitchy zombies and shit like that.

Yeah, it's fucking nuts.

Yeah, it leads to speech problems, coordination problems, and dementia.

It results in death within a few months to a few years, and there is no known disease-modifying treatment.

I know Giddam is a walking malady of things, but I know for a fact he doesn't have that because he's not walking, he's not sleeping.

Same here with you.

Only one time.

You know what?

The fucking boss can sleep whenever the fuck he wants.

And that's why I, and that's why when you do, I tiptoe around.

Yeah, I found this really interesting, man.

Like, if, and it's, like I said, it's

genetic.

So if you know you have it, you know, I think there's a 50-50% chance of passing it on to your kid.

Like

I would never have kids.

I'd just be like, I can't do this to somebody else.

Like, just in case.

I fucking did that because of my fucking slight depression.

Let alone can't sleep.

Yeah.

Oof.

Characterized by worsening insomnia, resulting in panic attacks, paranoia, and phobias.

This stage lasts for about four months.

Hallucinations and panic attacks continue for the next five months.

Complete inability to sleep, followed by rapid weight loss.

This lasts for about three months.

And then dementia, which the person becomes unresponsive or mute over the course of six months, is the final stage of the disease.

After which, death follows.

Well, that's horrible.

Hey, man, yeah.

Hey, some good news.

They successfully cured Alzheimer's in a mouse.

Oh, yeah?

Isn't that fucking nuts?

Yeah.

That's always like the first step.

That is pretty easy.

Yeah, they got to rush that shit then.

Yeah, it's something about the blood-brain barrier that prevents toxins from getting in.

They use robots.

Well, not even medicine.

They sent in nanobots into this mouse and it reactivated the blood barrier and it reversed

the Alzheimer's in the mouse.

That fucking nuts.

That is wild.

Yeah.

So it's going to take robots, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What else are they going to do when they're in there?

That's the question.

Amazon fucking rooting around in your brain canals.

But I read that this morning.

I was like, wow, that's pretty fucking dope.

That is good.

That is good.

Because we're reaching that age where it's not like, you know, impossible.

If I thought I had it, I would definitely sign up for like a trial.

Yeah, like that.

Whatever drug this is.

Yeah, yeah.

Put those robots in me, those nanobots.

You don't have to mention it, Sherry.

You're just hitting that volcano too much.

If you just fucking put it down, you'll be able to remember something.

You don't say.

Well, it looks like I'm going to be losing my memory.

Remember what?

Don't care.

Who are you?

All I need to know is to remember how the volcano works.

And I'm all good.

And if I forget, there's a YouTube channel on it anyway.

Have you been off the volcano still or off the volcano still?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm still trying to see you.

Although, I gotta say, like,

I gotta say, with this, this new back issue, I was tempted to, like, try to, like,

lessen the pain, assuage the pain a little bit, but um, I'm like, I don't think it's gonna work.

Like, I took some ibuprofen and shit, and it just did nothing.

It does nothing.

It turns out, I think I have, like, a pinched nerve.

It wasn't from working out.

It was a pinched nerve, which I've had before, and I had to get an epidural, which is what I'm working on now.

It's like it starts in my back and goes all the way down my left arm, like all tingly and shit.

Yeah, you got to floss the nerve.

I had that for a while.

Did you?

Yeah.

It hurts like hell, doesn't it, man?

Yeah, and it's like tingling here.

Yeah, I had that for a little bit, and then

somebody showed me some work it out.

Not that it, you know, I'll show you how fair.

We don't have to talk about it now.

Yeah, so I've been dealing with the only position, like if I lie down on my back with my back on a heating pad, I don't feel it.

Any other position.

Sitting up, walking, whatever, it's fucking unbelievable.

That's why you have have the heating pen on your chair.

So I got a heating pen on my chair right now trying to.

I wasn't going to mention it, but

preserve your dignity, but since we're here.

How many settings does that thing have?

It has low through high.

Highs a little bit too high.

Yeah, I see.

Hold on.

Let me knock out these next ads and then we can.

Whoa, all right.

Yep.

Yeah, we got, we got, yeah, I got four this week.

I'm not sure why.

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Yeah, white noise is just like TV, TV type shit.

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All right,

that is it.

Nice.

You can get back to the show now.

Sweet.

All right.

We have a game, right?

We do have a game.

Yes.

That Walt brought.

Courtesy, well,

half of the questions were supplied by Mr.

Thomas Milishewski,

and half of them were supplied by me.

But the game

is called Thinker or Stinker.

And

the answers

that me, Bry, and Q give to five questions will be graded.

by Tesde Town's greatest thinker, get him Steve Dave.

Score between three being the best answer, one being the stinker answer.

All right,

what do you need?

A pen and paper there?

Here, just use this.

Fuck.

See the panic in his eyes?

This is the shit that, like, because he just won't let you down, man.

I was looking for the box of pens and papers.

We always

say all you need is one pen and a piece of scrap paper, and you're good to go.

Well, he's thinking about how he's going to give you threes across the board to ingratiate himself.

No,

I know he already wants to ingratiate somebody else at the table way more than me.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Assuming it's not me.

Yeah, no.

What is it in me?

He's already ingratiated to me.

We'll find out if that's the case or not.

I already love the guy.

Why?

Does he need something?

No, no, let's play the game first.

Let's break it out, Lord.

What am I in for?

All right.

So, get him, you understand the rules?

One more time.

So, we are going to provide an answer to

six questions.

You are going to give a numerical score between three and one.

Okay.

Three being the best answer,

one being the stinker answer.

Whoever has the most points after the six questions will be deemed the thinker, and the one who has the least amount of points will be deemed the stinker.

Okay.

The person in second place is just pedestrian.

Okay.

Which is where stinker or pedestrian?

Just mid.

Yeah.

Person in the middle is just mid.

All right.

Question one: get him.

And for Brian Q, Earth is being invaded tomorrow.

Aliens have said,

take

us to your best representative of Earth.

Who are you hoping

they take to represent the planet when they meet the aliens?

aliens

What do you got?

I

have so many different answers in my head.

I really have to settle on one.

Yeah,

I had a lot of

people that leapt to mind as well.

Who do you want to hear from first, thinker?

Let's go clockwise, you.

Okay.

I considered, of course, Tom Brady a guy who

has shown that he can prepare for any moment, whether it be on the field or in real life.

You know, he conquered broadcasting.

You know, what's he going to set his sights on next?

But he's too much of an athlete.

I even thought of like somebody who I feel is super smart and funny.

Maybe he could entertain the aliens.

I thought Ricky Gervais, maybe.

He's like, you know, maybe he could

really

form a bond with them through humor.

Then I thought Stan Lee, if he was still alive.

I thought of a lot of people that were dead that you can't.

Yeah, yeah.

But shocker among shockers, I felt my honest answer would I would have to pick somebody I knew personally.

The person I feel has the most wisdom and the most

handles himself so well that I'd be like, yeah, I can't think of anybody better.

And that's the man to my left, BQ.

Wow.

I have come to say that, like, he is the most, like, Jesus.

Zen

shit.

With impeccably.

I can't think of anybody else.

I really feel like he would treat it with the gravitas that

he treated.

The elements demand.

You wouldn't phone it in, and I am thinking BQ.

Wow.

That's incredible.

Well, thank you.

Yeah, I felt like I...

was.

You know, I'm not rating these.

I know, I know, but I feel like I couldn't really rely on picking somebody whose face I only see publicly.

Shit, man,

I'm extremely touched, and that leads into my answer because I had a similar

first.

I was thinking, like, maybe Jimmy the hair guy, but then I was like, all right, let me take this seriously.

And I went with

Clint Eastwood was in there for a little bit, but then I had the same thing.

I was like,

and I settled on Scott Mosier.

And for this, everything that you just said, because anything good you like about me that came out of your mouth is just watered down, Mosier.

Like, it's just kneeling at the foot of a master all these years.

So

I was going to say Scott Mosier would be the guy because he's truly everything you just said, but

the real deal.

So we both went with people we knew personally.

Yeah, I would put the fate of the world in Mosier's hands

without even fear, without any fear.

My only fear being he might be like, fuck it.

The world doesn't deserve to live.

But other than that, yeah, that's where I end there.

But there you all, that's incredibly

nice to hear.

It's strange.

Thank you.

I also went through some famous people, and I thought of politicians too, but I couldn't think of a politician that is in an asshole.

You'll be sitting there all thinking a long time.

Yeah, so I'm like, well, they're not going to be the best representatives who are some of like the nicer people.

But like, like you, Walt, I was like, I need to know, I need to use somebody I know personally that I could say, like, for sure, I know this person would handle the business, not like, you know, some famous person who I don't even know.

Like, who the fuck knows if they can do it?

But my final answer,

Scott Mosier.

Whoa, look at that.

He's easily the most wise, reasonable, level-headed, well-thought-out individual I've ever met.

I think he'd be able to talk down any aggressive or hostile aliens, and he would also look out for everyone, not just himself.

So it's, it's wild that all three of us were like, we have to pick somebody we know personally.

We can't rely on the public face that people put out there.

We're almost too cynical to think that that's just a facade that they put out there.

Yeah, like with somebody like Ricky Gervais, I feel like that's what you get.

Like when you see him, like, that's Ricky Gervais.

Yeah.

He's an honest guy.

So like he would be one of the celebrities.

You're like, well, I don't know him, but like you feel like you kind of know him.

So it's going to be interesting how Giddam scores this because does two mosiers knock out each other out and then the number three scored answer is BQ.

I would think that would be the case, but let's see how Giddem thinks.

All right.

Are we going like question by question?

Yeah, go by question by question.

All right, so I gave Q and Brian three and then you got a one.

You can't give two threes.

Oh,

either three, two, or one.

Already you're fucking it up.

Well, when you get the same answer, how do you rough?

Because it's right, but So they have to get a two and a one, and then I get the three.

Well, no, you get a one because, according to you, he is a watered-down Scott Moser.

Do you even know Scott Mosher?

You ever met him?

No.

So, why are you putting so much weight in that?

Well, if two people chose him, I would say it is.

Don't you have a big favorite answer?

Stop bullying the judge.

Just give him the paper and the pen.

So, what was I doing?

I mean, if they both give the same answer, how do you can you know?

Well, you got to give Brian two because he went last.

You give it it doesn't matter.

You give me the two.

Well, you give him the two to I'll give it to Brian.

And who gets the three?

A Q.

Okay.

Because he said it first.

I'll take it.

All right.

Question two, Giddam.

If all memories from before today vanished for you personally, what single object in your home would you use to piece your life back together?

I'm not going first this time.

Don't look at me.

Yeah, I'll go first.

We'll go clockwise.

This was a tough one.

I don't have a single Impractical Jokers thing hanging in my house.

I do.

That's not true.

I have one, but it's just the marquee of

Radio City with Impractical Jokers on it.

So I wouldn't be able to piece it together.

But then I realized I have my first paycheck from the FDNY

hanging on the wall in my office.

And that has my name, a job, and a social security number.

So I thought that would be the one that I'm like, okay, this guy,

this guy's a hero?

Interesting.

Interesting.

Yeah, you took it so literal that you don't even, you thought you wouldn't remember your name either.

Yeah, I thought you meant like literally nothing.

That's interesting.

Okay.

I just thought I didn't, I knew my name and everything, but I just didn't have any memories of

before

it's the same, really.

It's kind of the same.

Yeah, that's that's a pretty good answer.

Yeah, it has my home, my well, my old home address, my social security number, my name on it, and my job.

That's a lot of information on a tiny slip that's 20 years old.

So that's what I went with.

I also was like, I had a hard time figuring out the one solitary object in the house that would like, okay, that'll spur memories.

But then I was like, well, what about my phone?

That's in the house.

I said, my phone has all my photos on it and a lot of writing and notes since 2012.

It would be invaluable in reconstructing the last 12.

Well, if you don't remember the code to open it, find your face.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's a very practical answer.

It is practical, but I think it would help.

I think it would really help.

Although it would be like, okay, my entire life is

cats, Sage,

and Mary Beth.

Because those are all I have have pictures of.

Yeah, well, I think that's most people's

library of photos.

But then I would, maybe I would stumble upon, like, I have some comic book men photos.

I have some photos from Tell Em Steve Dave, and I'd be like, oh, what am I doing here?

And then I could back up, and

somebody could tell me, like, oh, yeah, you've been podcasted for 15 fucking years.

And then you could listen to the podcast.

Yeah.

If your phone's good, because if you get in, then you could hear a lot of your tales and stuff.

I could go back through my YouTube history, what kind of stuff was I interested in watching, my Instagram.

Yeah,

all that shit.

Yeah, but sometimes that face ID, though, you have to put in your code to

after a certain amount of time.

Those are two really good answers.

I put my front door

when I'm away from home too long, is the first thing that gives me a sense of relief and relaxation that on the other side of that door

is

the greatest source of comfort for me on the planet.

And every month, my wife changes the

theme for the door depending on the month.

Yeah, I put the front door.

I don't, I probably should have put a phone, though.

I didn't think about that.

Yeah, it's hard to carry the door around with me, too.

I gotta remember.

The door.

Go ahead, Gil.

Okay, well, coming in at three is Bry

because I know knowing myself, I have years worth of comments online that I can now buzz through and find out what I was thinking.

Pictures of food, so I know what kind of food I like.

Pictures of me and people, so I know who my real friends are.

Yeah.

Pictures of ID, pictures of my name, pictures of paychecks.

That's an interesting phrase, who my real friends are.

What is that supposed to mean?

Like people I took photos with, like they're close and intimidated.

But do you think there'll be people coming up to be like, I'm a like people who are pretending to be your friends now that you've lost your memory?

I don't think so.

They want me to forget that they're on my list.

I don't think that's going to happen.

People are going to rush and be like, I'm going to try to make sure I get in there while he hasn't.

Well, you can see the levelness.

You can see the leveledness of friends.

Like, if it's just a stage photo, then, okay, they're an acquaintance.

You won't even remember if it's stage or not.

Okay.

Q is second with paycheck because he, like you said, he would have a bunch of information that he could start backtracking on using public records.

Yeah.

And sadly, front door got one.

Yeah.

I was trying to go from there.

Because it's, yeah, it's, it's just a door.

It doesn't even tell you like the street or anything.

It could just be any front door because.

No, that's not true.

It's not just any front door.

But you've lost all your memories.

Yeah, but

so you wouldn't know what your front door is.

But the door,

oh, I don't even know what a door is?

Well, no, you wouldn't know which, that it's your front door.

But then how do they know what a paycheck is?

How do they know how to read it?

Because it says paycheck.

Has he lost the memory to read as well?

Without a memory, you don't know how to do it.

I don't know how to read the door.

You know it's a door, but you don't know it's your door.

Can he read?

Yes.

How come?

How come he hasn't lost the ability to do it?

You can read as well.

You know what a door is, but you don't know that it's your front door.

How do you know it's your front door?

Because of all the special little things my wife puts on it.

How do you know who your wife is?

How do you know that she put it there?

How did they know how to read?

See,

my pick doesn't involve reading because guess what?

They forgot how to read too.

I forgot to tell you that at the beginning.

Okay.

Well, the fool can teach them to read.

All right.

Question three.

You can swap lives with any fictional character for a week.

Who do you choose and what's the first thing you do?

I'm first this time.

Yes.

I wrote John Wick.

He's cool, tough, a great marksman, has an awesome car, 70 Chevy Chevelle, and he has more action in five minutes than I've had in the past 50 years.

First thing I would do, I would avenge that puppy.

Yeah, just like John Wick did.

Just like John Wick.

And he's older than you, too.

Yeah, he is.

Yeah.

Much better shape.

That guy knows how to

do Hollywood shit, though.

Thanks so much.

I don't know.

I saw behind the scenes of him at a gun range, like doing like practicing for his moves and shit.

I don't know.

He's pretty good.

He's pretty good.

It was interesting to watch.

But it's the fictional wake, so yeah.

Right.

I picked Fonzie.

Ooh, that's a good one.

And the first thing I do, I'm calling the Hooper Triplets for a romantic dinner at Arnold's.

Then a nightcap at Inspiration Point.

Wow.

Not bad.

What?

Gonna show up with my car and drown out your good time with my engine.

Wow.

I went with Captain Kirk.

I was like, hey, man, I got a starship.

I got all this freedom.

I can go to planets.

I could find some green chicks to bang.

You know what I mean?

Maybe save a planet, do something exciting, explore the galaxy, meet God.

You know?

Fuck you.

But you can't just take the ship on your joyride.

You're like, I'm Captain Kirk.

Oh, I don't think you can.

That motherfucker took that ship on a joyride every week.

What are you talking about?

Starfleety Dan.

Yeah, that guy was known.

He was an admiral.

He got demoted 20 times.

Hey, Starfleet's going.

No, just.

Yeah,

I flat out told you who to pretend to do static.

Remember that?

He's like, no,

shit.

She was like, shh, you're breaking up, Starfleet.

Oh, I thought Kirk would be the fucking man.

That's pretty good.

Yeah.

All right.

Okay.

Top is Q.

Why?

Because he's, you know, that's awesome.

He gets to fly around the universe.

That's a Kirk, man.

How can you even ask the question?

He's, you know, he saves cultures.

he saves planets but he slays poon yeah yeah sure does and then it went by bry second why why is not fun why is fonzi last because

you want to do this so that you could hook up with the hooper triplets yeah and you're a happily married man

that's that's that's kind of moral yeah

no morals oh what oh

fucking kiss ass get your fucking lips off his bunghole

I'm on the fucking Delta quadrant.

Well, alpha.

Whatever.

This favor must be big, huh, that he's looking for?

He gets to go into the

quantum ribbon.

Yeah, so much stuff.

Okay.

I'm a Star Trek fan.

There you go.

You can pick one person, living or dead, to narrate your life as if it were a documentary.

Who's your voice?

You're first?

I am first.

I am picking, you don't know who it is,

but the guy's name is John Fasenda.

I was going to give you a little bit of taste of who he is.

He's the voice of NFL films.

And I assume with the voice, I also get the music behind it.

With a rollicking song, he sweeps along,

swaggering boisterously.

His face is whiver beaten.

He wears a hooded sash.

That's my hoodie, you hungry.

And a bristling black mustache.

Pencil fins.

White boots.

Leather.

That's when you get to the part where he goes.

And the trees on your

side quiver and quake as he robs them of their gold.

The old woman is a raider, pillaging just for fun.

He'll knock you round and upside down and laugh when he's conquered.

Listen to this music.

That's my theme song.

Sounds like The Hobbit.

I was waiting for Thriller to start this.

Thriller.

Yeah, it had a little Vincent Price in there.

How does that voice sound like Vincent Price?

Said a little.

Vincent Price is one of my.

I had three.

I had Vincent Price.

I had Werner Herzog.

And then

a filmmaker.

Oh, his voice is fucking amazing.

He was a manager for a baseball.

documentary on the Grizzly Guy.

He was the St.

Louis Cardinals manager in the 80s.

Did the documentary on the Grizzly Guy.

Grizzly Man.

Yeah, his voice is like.

You shouldn't have a listen to this.

Yes, this is not how things go.

Yeah.

And then my third, which I took off the list because I have a feeling Brian's going to pick him, would be the guy who

narrated Unsolved Mysteries.

Robert Staff Robert Snow.

No, the other.

Peter Thomas from Forensic Files?

Forensics Files.

I was like the Forensics Files guy.

I was like, oh, that guy.

I was like, but Brian, I don't want to take that from him.

So

Attenborough was in there a little bit.

I was really good.

I was going back and forth between Vincent Price and

Werner.

And I'm going to settle on Werner Herzog because his voice is so unique.

Not as inspiring as Waltz.

I'll grant you that.

No music.

But just to hear that guy speak for an hour and a half about my life would be fucking amazing.

Should I play a clip of that?

I was thinking of Whitey Herzog.

He was

a manager for

many years in Major League Baseball.

Teams coached that was the Cardinals from 80 to 90.

I will allow audio visuals for this.

All right, let me see if I got if I have, because I didn't even look this one up.

I was like, literally like.

Who's his final choice?

Werner Herzog.

Werner Herzog.

Not, he's

an European.

Yeah, he's German.

This is just him talking.

Become a character in your

under all continents, under the seabed, under the entire globe.

They want to burst forth and bury the entire planet

in boiling magma.

And I say, but but this

monumental thing under us is

monumentally indifferent

towards

scarring roaches.

Scarring roaches.

That's pretty good.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

It would be an honor.

And Q, you know me well.

Yeah.

Peter Thomas from Forensic Files.

I couldn't take it from you.

Easily the best.

What's up?

Okay.

I know.

I said easily the best narrating voice on TV ever.

And everything I did would be received with a certain amount of dread and gravitas.

And some hidden sarcasm, too, because

he does dig in on people when they're lying.

Do you have an example?

Because I'm trying to figure out the guy who I'm thinking of.

Oh, I agree with Brian.

He's the best narrator in television.

I think he did a thing with one of the guys on SNL loves him.

Did I just fuck it up?

Yeah.

How do you guys manage to exist outside this office?

Have a history,

But this home in a quiet, upscale neighborhood in suburban New York held something

in a spiritual.

Yeah.

I mean, Rod Serling would be another good one, but

that's a fucking great choice.

Yeah, Rod Serling would be a good one.

But I do agree with you.

That's the best.

narrative is a great volition.

Okay, number one, I'm going to have to go with the NFL Films guy.

Why?

Because he's a little more upbeat.

So, you mean is that three-pointer?

Yes, that's three-points, yes.

Oh, wow, all right.

Wow, I'm surprised by that.

After the music helped, I thought, yeah, the music helped.

He seems like he could, he has a better range.

Bri comes in too, because, again, it's it's for it just sounds like it's eerie.

Like, I don't, it's I can't picture something happy being said like that.

So perfect for Brooks.

Like, yeah, like, describing how he got married sounds like he's just about to get murdered.

And sadly, Q is.

No, I get it.

I knew Werner was.

Because

the accent is a little,

every once in a while, it's a little tough to understand.

Well, he was just answering a question on stage there.

I mean, if he's professionally narrating, but I get it.

I knew Werner was going to be a.

And also, yeah, it's

there's that

uneducated wouldn't understand.

It kind of sounded like I was listening to Hogan's Heroes,

and okay, yeah, I got you.

All right,

but uh, if five questions, uh, there's six, six, okay, okay, so there's two more, yeah,

oh, what's the next one?

Trying to think here, where is it?

Okay, um,

sorry,

if you were Superman,

what is the first thing you do to help the world?

It's you're turned to go first, right?

Yes.

Yeah.

This was a big debate because one

the three that I settled on that I had to figure out was one

something to help animals, something to

stop

to

help environment, like whether tearing down the rainforest and stuff, but it's not about the rainforests, it's about animals.

But then I was like, okay,

that's not really helping humanity.

And then

I was thinking, how do I get rid of plastic?

Like, if I laser beamed all plastic factories, because I think plastic is going to be the thing that fucks up this planet in the end.

And in the end, I was like, it's time for fucking

quest for peace, man.

It's time to take all the nuclear weapons, especially start with Russia, get them in a net, throw them into the sun.

Why do you start with Russia?

You know why.

You fucking know why.

Because when they find out that I'm doing it, they're going to be the ones that launch.

Oh, you don't think America is going to react?

You don't think America is going to allow you to come in and take it?

I'm flying around with an American flag.

It'll be all right.

Sure,

they're going to be fine with Superman taking their nukes.

They're not going to be able to do anything about it.

I think that that would be

Quest for Peace is a shitty movie.

Really bad Superman movie, but I do like when he threw all the nuclear weapons into the sun.

Yeah, I think that's what I would do.

I'd start there.

You take everyone's nukes.

Everyone's nukes.

Everyone, every nation is in the same station in terms of being able to wage war.

Correct.

Except, of course, I live in the United States.

So the United States has Superman.

So everybody, just keep that in mind.

You know?

So is that a little, like, just in case, anybody first?

Just reminding everybody where I live.

I've been American first.

Just letting everybody know.

It's truth, justice, and the American way.

That has been retconned out, Q.

Not in my world.

Not in this man's America.

I don't remember James Gunster man even mentioning he was from America.

No problem, Jameson.

Do what you need to do, buddy.

They want that shit to play in all theaters all across the globe.

This isn't a business decision, though.

This is a save the world thing.

Yeah.

But just nuclear weapons.

If everybody can keep their daisy cutters and their bombs out or flattened bunker busters, they can keep those bombs, all right?

I mean, ideally, I'd get rid of them all, but

I can't totally guide humanity.

I can't force humanity totally to not make war upon each other, but I can do it in a I can make sure that they don't get to destroy the whole fucking planet when they do it.

So, why not just take everything but razor or sharp-edged weapons?

Just no more bullets, no more gunpowder, no more bombs.

You guys got swords and that isn't that Kingdom Come.

Does he?

I don't think he gets rid of guns in Kingdom Come.

It's all the superheroes.

It's all the grandchildren of the superheroes that are acting like assholes in Kingdom Come.

Okay, which is one where like Superman's king?

They made a comic book series out of it.

Are you talking about injustice with Evil Superman?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

Yeah, so

I don't know.

I guess I could see the argument.

So even the poorest nation is on the right.

Well, look, guns are

a God-given right in the Constitution.

So I can't go around taking people's guns away.

I just can't.

Okay.

You know?

I'm an American.

All right, so that's an interesting.

But I could fly, like at a school shooting, I could fly in front of the bullets and

melt the gun in the...

That's pretty good.

Yeah, I could do stuff like that.

But, you know, I don't know.

But nuclear weapons could

destroy countries that aren't even involved in the conflict.

So

that's what I would do.

Take the nukes.

Nukes got to go.

Nukes.

Nukes got to go.

No nukes.

I don't know how practical mine is.

Maybe I'd leave Washington one.

But just to seem very fair.

That is so unfair.

You're right.

They all go on the sun.

They all go on the sun.

Mine is kind of close to yours, Q.

I don't know how practical it is.

I don't know if Superman could actually do it.

But I have

forget Israel and Palestine.

Forget Russia and Ukraine.

I fixed the rift in America between liberals and conservatives.

The political divide in this country is out of control.

So, if I could do that as Superman,

I don't know.

I'm just throwing things out.

Yeah, unless Superman has the ability to hypnotize and brainwash people into agreeing.

Well, he's got the hypno glasses, according to James Gunn.

Yeah.

So I just put my hypno glasses on.

And then all of a sudden, you are all moderable person.

You are all moderates.

Yeah.

Why would that say this reporter?

I don't don't know.

That's a kind of a non-answer.

You think so?

Yeah, I don't think it's a real.

It doesn't help the world.

This was how do you help the world?

Oh, the world.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

As far as I'm considered, America is a good idea.

A healthy America is good for the world, sure.

There's a way to look at it like that.

But I feel a lot of that divide is from some of those people that he's forgetting.

Like, there's foreign involvement in, like, pushing social media and stuff.

Well, maybe that's part of Superman's rap.

Take them all out.

Yeah.

I don't have to worry about the other countries.

I'll just take them out.

I care about America getting along.

Is that a justice?

Getting along enough that I don't have to hear about it.

And that's where this is.

Dude, I don't even pay attention to politics.

I hear so much shit all the time.

You got to try harder, buddy.

It's possible.

Oh, I promise you it's possible.

Well, like when I go for the show, like, I'll go and I'll try on the post.

I'll try to find some fun stories.

you know, like people getting decapitated in Staten Island.

Yeah, okay, great.

Chris was a light-hearted news.

But

you can't scroll down a newspaper or whatever without seeing fucking political shit.

I go and get my coffee at Wawa, and I tend to kind of wander over by where the newspapers are and just try to get, and like sometimes I just turn them over to the sports page because that's the best news there is.

Yeah.

Or the least depressing.

I am glad that BQ opened the door to the movie version of Superman because I am taking the power that Superman has in the 1978 film starring Christopher Reeve:

the power to reverse time.

When he spins the world counterclockwise on its axis and goes back in time,

this is what I would do to fix all of history's atrocities.

Go back to happy days and sleep in the cooler sisters.

I would eliminate

the Holocaust, Hiroshima, no 9-11, etc., etc.

If I make any mistakes, so what?

I can just go back and fix them until I get it right.

There is absolutely no limit to how I could fix, no matter what pops up.

Oh, I didn't anticipate this happening now that I averted the Holocaust or 9-11.

Well, then I'll just go back and fix it until I get it right.

Like if you by you

preventing 9-11,

all those people that were alive now they change everybody else's life

within their circle.

Yeah, I'm sure there's going to be that

ramification.

He's gone already back to World War II.

I'm going back.

I can even go back before that.

Go to the Crusades.

Yeah, any atrocities now are at

my disposal to clean up.

That's a pretty good answer.

Well, hold on.

Okay.

What if you go back

and I hate to use 9-11?

What if you go back and stop?

9-11, right?

And it turns out that one of the people that died there now lives and causes a worse atrocity than

9-11.

I'll have to see how that shakes out because I would be very,

very surprised if it's possible that one guy who survived in there is going to now

you got to go back and save Hitler.

It didn't even exist.

I'm going back and I'm fucking

worse happens.

The guy who fucking impregnated Hitler's mom

fucking

ripping his gonads right off.

Yeah, but if that's not.

He didn't do anything wrong.

I didn't know.

Rip a guy's dick off.

You're just burning off.

Oh, this is nuts.

But like if you eliminate a little super vasectic,

shout out to Tom.

A little bit of division.

I'll just stare at his balls until

I heat him up enough, that is

summers die.

Yeah, right.

Why?

What's wrong with that?

It's the ultimate eraser.

Yeah, but then you're erasing some future progress because, like, without World War II, we don't really make the advances in the space race and traveling into space, which

helps with the computer.

Guess what?

It turned out that we only got to space because I fucking helped you get there as Superman.

So we rely on you to bring yourself together.

There's no way we even went to space anyway, so don't even worry about it.

Don't even factor that in.

Don't let that cloud

your scoring there, 148.

Not just the moon, you're in space.

We didn't get past the Van Allen belt, and you know it.

You know it.

You didn't have no fucking pop-tart fucking cellophane, you know, wrapped around everybody gets past those radiation belts.

Why not?

It's not possible.

Because.

Why not?

Because there's a reason we haven't gotten it.

You watch the video.

All right.

That was all done on a stage with Stanley Kubrick.

Yeah.

All right.

What's your scores?

All right.

Q's got three.

Yeah.

Why does he get the best scores?

Well,

you were kind of ahead, and then you went on to your anti-moon rant.

That was after I submitted my answer.

You know, that was also jokes, too.

Don't let let anybody think I'm not against the moon.

We went to the moon.

Okay.

All right.

That was a joke.

Red dropped fights radiation.

There was a great two-part Star Trek Voyager episode about this called The Year of Hell, where one guy, Red from that 70 show, he keeps trying to go and change time.

And it's like just erasing a comet ends up affecting millions of other worlds.

And doing that, like I said, we would be,

you would think we'd be in a better spot right now, but we would actually probably be like lesser.

Why?

Why?

Because we wouldn't have these advancements that hardships make us overcome.

What was the advancements that we need to have?

Like the space race, computers.

Duct tape.

Oh, you'd think computers wouldn't exist because I went and

I stopped Hiroshima.

Possibly, yeah.

Possibly.

But you don't know.

Possibly.

It's a Shangri-La.

You don't know either.

You're trying to.

Well, if it's not a Shangri-La, I'll fucking guess what?

I'll spin it around the other way.

Eventually, you're going to run into it.

Eventually, if you're going to go back to the bottom, eventually I'll get it right.

That's the point: sometimes you have to let disasters happen because it's for the greater good.

Oh, my God.

No.

Can I ask a Superman question?

Sure.

He's reversing time, right?

He's spinning the world on sexist.

Now, the timeline that he spun it from, does that still exist somewhere?

Sure.

No, because

once he changes it, you can't go for it.

Once he changes it, you're going forward on the timeline that you

are now on.

Are now on, okay.

The only thing you can point to.

And he didn't go that far back in time, by the way, in that movie.

He went back like five minutes.

He didn't go back 50 years.

When he saved Lois and brought her back to life by going back in time,

it wasn't no hellhole.

We still had computers.

Yeah, but you said you want to go back to World War II.

You want to go back to the Crusades.

Brian said that.

I never mentioned Crusades.

You mentioned Hitler in World War II.

I said

Hollywood, man.

Yeah, I know.

At least you've got one like me.

What was that word, Salad, for Brian Johnson?

What was that?

I mean, he doesn't even deserve a one.

That's a zero.

You told me I have to get three, two, and one.

Know the rules you even said.

I'm tired of hearing people cry about politics.

Come on, how does that even get a one?

I like his.

Cry.

Cry?

If all they were doing was crying, that would be tolerable.

I've never seen anything like it in my life.

I like his sentiment, but yeah, it's.

I really like that sentiment.

The sentiment.

It would be nice if we could be less politicized.

Oh, God.

And less radicalized.

You guys are fucking awesome.

Don't let him shave my one off.

I got one.

He wants a world of nuance, which is great.

That's something that I would love to have.

And all this bickering and everything.

How does it affect either of you guys' lives?

Again, please tell me how the office coach's life is affected by fucking people who are complaining about real issues.

I thought we were Superman.

We're saving a shit.

We're not office.

I want to figure out how this is such a drain on your existence, how the left and right going at it.

It really affects your day-to-day.

Oh, when you come in moody because someone complained about what I said on Reddit?

Oh, yeah.

Because you don't have the self-discipline to fucking not weigh in on something you don't even have a fucking clue about.

And

not taking into consideration what that knock-on effect is going to be.

You want to talk about a butterfly effect, asshole?

It's people emailing me and saying, hey, guess what?

I'm canceling my Patreon because your fucking stupid office coach can't keep his fucking stupid opinion to himself.

What does that have to do with us?

Yeah.

What do we do?

I am not going to pay for the Patreon to pay for his salary anymore.

Because he had to fucking weigh in about something that

only he fucking he has the answer to.

Please listen to me, everybody.

148 is going to weigh in on a fucking world issue.

Well, I think it's important to say that his salary comes from the spots, not from Patreon.

So don't don't cancel Patreon.

Keep wearing me undies.

I'm willing to believe whatever you people want me to believe.

Whatever the opinion you want me to have, I have.

All right.

Last question.

Last question.

Thank God.

So I mean, thanks, Superman.

Create a supergroup that could rival the Beatles in both in talent and popularity consisting of four only predominantly known solo artists.

Whose question was this?

Mine.

This was so fucking hard.

This is the one question that I'm like, what the fuck, man?

Why is this?

There's infinite fucking possibilities.

It's the hardest one.

There's only one, and I got it.

I might have an issue.

I might have a problem.

I might have a problem.

I didn't realize it's solo artists.

So with the lead singer of a band, I could pull them out and plug them in.

No.

Oh, then I got to do some thinking

because one of my two of my members are lead singers.

We go last then.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, start thinking.

You tell us when you got it.

Take points on.

Horrible, horrible music knowledge.

Well, I have until my turn.

Brian's up first.

Well, I know, but I want you to not be so in your head.

I've already got one filled in.

Okay.

Let's see.

Who goes first?

I go first this time.

So I had Amy Winehouse on vocals.

So it's

Living or Dead?

They didn't say

somebody who nobody knows.

Carol Kay on bass.

Okay, great.

She's a 90-year-old woman.

I love this.

Carol Kay or Harry Karol.

Carol Kaye.

She's been in over 10,000 recording sessions over the course of 55 years.

She's regarded as one of the best bassists.

The previous answer was terrible.

What is something I would know her from?

Oh, I don't know.

That I don't know.

I would have to look it up.

He pulled out a shovel and started digging.

He's pulling out Harold Kay.

Carol Kay.

It's a woman.

I'm forming a woman super group here.

I need all women.

Okay, all right.

And we know you're doing it with a big old fucking wink that the audience can't even see.

Yes, these will be as popular as the Beatles.

Well, that's the fucking hard part of the question.

It's like, nobody, nobody's nobody will be.

I beg to differ.

All right, we'll see.

We'll see.

I have Sophie Lloyd on guitar.

You probably don't know who that is either.

Yeah.

Do you know who Sophie Lloyd is?

He's just saying names.

Nobody knows who it is.

Nobody listening.

If you're into guitars, you know who Sophie Lloyd is.

Yeah.

For sure.

And I don't see.

Maybe I'm in your boy because I had Karen Carpenter on drums.

No, she was part of the Carpenters.

Can I have?

Yeah, you could have her.

I'm just going to three.

I'm just going to three.

We're going to bend the rules so you can have the only person anybody, you know, he doesn't know who Karen Carpenter is.

You don't know who Karen Carpenter is?

No.

Really?

Oh, wow.

I know the name.

I cannot pick out.

Again, widely regarded as one of the best drummers in the business.

She was.

Yeah.

And she had a great voice, too.

Like, I think I can't remember who said it.

Was it Keith Moon or somebody who said that she was one of the best drummers in the world?

Something like that.

I think it was Keith Moon.

See, I'm looking up Sophie Lloyd, but it's all just songs that she's redone.

Yeah, she plays with several different bands.

Like

she's listening, I was welcome to

look at her, though.

No bullshit.

No fooling around.

You think that that group could rival the popularity of the Beatles?

Remember when I said this was the hardest question?

I didn't know what the fuck to say.

That's why you've got Sophie Lloyd and Carol Kay.

Okay, wow.

Amy Winehouse, though, you know who she is.

Yes, yes.

Powerful voice.

Yes.

Okay.

Sadly taken away from us way too early.

Any other women you want to?

No, it's it's just the four.

I thought because we had to mimic the Beatles, right?

Okay.

All right.

Let's see the winning answer now.

Let's hear it.

What?

What?

You're already.

I could tell already you were poo-pooing my answers.

No, no, no, no, I'm not poo-pooing your answers.

I'm just looking at the numbers that I have written down.

Well, maybe if you didn't celebrate your win already, like before you leave.

I don't think I can win, no matter what I give.

Yeah.

Yeah, because of your fucking shitty scoring, that I'm in the fucking doghouse.

I've given my.

Okay.

All right.

I have David Bowie

is in the band.

It's great.

For.

For what?

What do you mean for?

For whatever the fuck he wants to do.

Okay.

Okay.

I have to pick the

because Brian did, I thought that that was the standard.

Boeing can fucking do bass, guitar, and drums.

Okay.

Okay.

And keyboards.

But you don't know that.

So why the fuck are you even questioning?

That's why I'm asking.

That's why I'm asking to give you a reformed opinion.

Billy Joel?

Okay.

What's he play?

Plays the piano, plays the harmonica.

I believe he plays guitar.

He plays guitar, yeah.

Yeah.

Stevie Wonder?

Woof.

Another piano.

More keyboards.

Yeah.

It's all keyboard action.

And John Cougar Mellencamp.

Oh, boy.

Guitar.

Boy, this is the.

That is the.

Like,

you've got all your basses covered.

You've got the spacey fucking rock music of David Bowie.

You've got the fucking soulful music of Stevie Wonder.

You've got the everyman, you know, like, you know, like the blue-collar man.

in John Cougar Mellencamp, all his songs.

And who was my fourth one?

Billy Joel.

Billy Joel Joel.

Billy Joel.

I thought Billy Joel was a steering man.

He's a hit machine.

Now, he's just, he's anything he wants to be.

He does songs about, you know, towns losing their

playing in piano clubs.

He's got romantic, you know,

Uptown girl.

I'm going to say there's a wide variety of, there's a lot of keyboardists in this

band.

And guitarists, but they're all talented musicians.

I told you already, Bowie can play drums when he wants to.

You're going to to have to take that.

You're going to have to take that.

He's looking it up.

He looked up everything else.

It's a fair chance that Bowie can do whatever the fuck he wants.

I think that

if people are aware of my picks, except for Carol Kay,

that was a stretch, they may agree with me.

Over that band?

You think that they're going to be a bad person?

You just got a bunch of guys that are good by themselves.

Like, you don't know that they're going to be good as a super group.

Oh, Bowie can play saxophone, but he only played drums once.

Oh, that's only because he didn't have to do it every other album.

If he played him once, that means he could do it anytime he wants.

But he's probably not that accomplished.

Yeah,

I don't know what the song was that he played, how he played the drums on the song.

Could have been like a tambourine or something.

Who knows?

Just a

look, he's trying to find holes.

He is.

I see it.

That's his job.

He's the judge.

He's the judge.

I didn't really go.

All right.

I was able to

fix.

Now that I know it, I'm going to fix this.

Okay, so the most popular band that we're trying to build today, right?

Rivals the Beatles.

Rivals the Beatles, which I think is an impossible task.

I don't think that'll ever happen again.

But if I am going to do it right away, I'm getting Taylor Swift involved because she is going to fill fucking arenas.

And then someone equally as popular, but a different style of music, you get Beyonce up there.

Now you're getting the start of what they call a fucking super group.

Now, hold on.

Who's that at the door?

Do you even care one iota about any of the music that these two gals are going to be?

1989 is a fucking great album, and I stand by that.

Who's that?

Who's that?

That's Taylor Swift.

Then, how about you bring in Paige to come in there and tear the fucking paint off the ceiling?

Jimmy Page?

Yeah.

He's predominantly known for, he can.

He's a predominantly known.

Yeah, but you pick guys that are dead.

Yeah, but he was known to be in Leds Upplin.

I said, predominantly known for the Zoom.

Yeah, but he is a solo artist as well.

Oh, well, then I could have picked fucking Robert Plant then, but that was the whole thing.

We had to pick solo artist.

Predominantly known.

Okay, well, then we'll put that to the side for now.

So we've Eric Clapton in.

No.

We have T.

Swift.

We have Beyonce.

We got Prince.

Boom.

Right away, your fucking band is better than almost anything that anybody ever is ever going to put up ever.

See, my original thing was the lead singer of that band, Greta Van Fleet, but you screwed me with the...

I need a guy who could fucking

scream up to the heavens.

Could like walk across the moon, maybe?

Jeff Tate from Jackson 5.

Nah, but he's predominantly known as a solo artist.

Oh, yeah, all those fucking countless hits as the Jackson 5, they don't count.

They don't hold up against Michael Jackson's normal fucking.

But I think that that area is kind of covered with

Prince, anyway.

I think Prince is kind of covering it.

I mean, I could throw Tom Petty in, but, like, I don't think he's going to make it a supergroup.

And he already did it.

Traveling Wilberries?

Yeah, he already did it with the Traveling Wilberries.

Huh.

Elton John?

And then

that would be too hard rocking then.

You're band.

They'd fucking peel the paint off any arena they were fucking at.

And Beyonce can rap.

Beyonce can.

You're the cripple.

Prince.

Prince can.

I mean, my grandpa.

Are you seriously?

All honest.

Well, you haven't given your fourth.

Look at wait till you give your fourth one.

Well, it's hard because I

look, we got to bend the rules because this guy had a drummer that was in a band.

Who did you have that was in a band?

I got to bend the rules for him because his three previous answers were so horrifically bad and fucking.

These are excellent musicians.

I know what you're talking about.

Nobody listening is going to have any kind of, it's not going to resonate, though.

All right, all right, all right.

Jimi Hendrix.

Experience though.

If you know your bass is born in 1935, you're going to know what I'm talking about.

So, yeah, I'll take Hendrix then.

I don't know if that really would you consider him predominantly known as a solo artist?

Hendricks?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, even though he did have the experience, I still think that, I mean, I don't know.

I think most people don't know the fucking experience at all.

Well, those are the people who will be going to see your band play.

Why?

All they care about is the fucking, not one of your artists really was an innovator.

Prince wasn't an innovator?

Are you out of your fucking mind?

He's got a vault looking.

He's a great dance.

Yeah, also a great fucking album.

You don't like the Batman's album?

All right.

I think you're insane, dude.

All right.

He's also well known for being a mute.

Hendrix, but if you're going to keep blocking.

Go ahead, Hendrix, then.

You know what?

He's going to pick you anyway.

Well, you should pick me.

I have a band that everybody would go see.

If you only have one free night next month, both your band and my band are playing.

You're picking your band to go see?

I can't.

Over Bowie.

I have to.

Look, over Mellen Camp, over Stevie Wonder, and over

Billy Joel.

Billy Joel.

My favorite Bowie.

I've seen Billy Joel so many times.

Yeah, I mean, Bowie is the only one that I'd be like, motherfucker.

I can't believe I got to miss Bowie.

But, yeah.

Fucking Prince alone, I would skip everybody to go see.

It's got to be a great show.

He knows how to play every instrument.

He's the fucking.

He looks like Bowie.

So there you go.

There I get him.

It was tough, but

you actually provided me the pushing over tipping point by saying if I only had to, if I had one night to see one of these bands one time, it would have to be

fucking get your tampon out too.

Don't forget him.

Don't flush him down the fucking toilet

at the arena.

But you're yours.

You're out of your mind.

You're out of your mind.

That's a great fucking

Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Prince, Hendrix.

That's fucking.

Okay, two out of your four auto-tune the hell out of them themselves.

Who?

Yeah.

He thinks Taylor's auto-tune them.

Who could it be?

She doesn't auto-tune at all.

She doesn't use any auto-tune.

Neither does Beyonce.

She's shown

she's the first, I believe, black female artist to top the number one country.

Beyond that?

Yeah.

These are innovators.

These are

cross-genre.

Yeah, over Bowie.

Oh, yeah, they're innovators.

They changed the course of music.

I mean, yeah, I'm not denying that they've sold a lot of people,

but no, no, you're not talking about innovation.

You were talking about who would rival the Beatles in popularity.

In popularity.

In talent.

In popularity, I said.

Okay, yeah, and popularity.

Everybody I mentioned is exciting.

Well, I mean, that's what I went by, was the talent.

Like, everybody that I have is more talented than the Beatles with their own respective instruments.

I'll have to talk to my boy Reno about that, you know.

Oh, yeah,

but I don't mean to insult.

I have to say, watching that documentary we watched, it was just fucking amazing how they would just, anybody would just pick up any instrument and just start playing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They were

talking about the greatest.

When we watched that special on the Beatles, where they were recording that discussion.

No.

Yeah, it was the Peter Jackson.

Yeah, the Peter Jackson one.

Yeah, yeah.

Like that was just fucking amazing.

Just out of nowhere, just pick it up, and they're playing just as good as the other one was.

Yeah, it's good stuff.

But yeah, you were close second, and sadly, Bry.

It's all right.

I'm okay with my picks.

For the Jared 12 Music Hour.

Oh.

Carol Kaye.

One old lady.

I tell you, I'd go see your band over at Q's, man.

Would you?

Yeah, I would.

Wow.

I think you'd like it.

Yeah, because I know that I'd be able to get in the front row seat.

You reeled me in with that one.

Kick a man when he's down.

Yeah, I know.

Cling into his one by one point that he tried to take away from me.

What was the final score?

Q is in the first place with 15.

Bri is in second place with 11, and you are the stinker.

The third with 10.

Yeah, okay.

I know whose only

opinions I'm going to value is the listeners.

I want you to score these at home and then

send out on social media what you think the score should have been.

Because

we just do a poll on Twitter.

Sure, we could do it.

Just do it.

Don't say who picked what, though.

Just be like, these are the artists.

Oh, I think they should listen to the.

I think they've got to hear the argument.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I think they've got to listen to the argument.

Because, you know.

Nobody's turning down that show that I'm putting together.

Nobody is.

Yeah, you're right.

I mean,

I think, you know, every seat will be filled by a tween girl.

Yeah.

But I think guys our age, you know who they're going to see.

My mother missed a chance.

You know who they're going to see, Hendrix and Plays.

I was going to say, my mother missed a chance to go to Woodstock and was pissed off because she was not able to see it.

Yeah.

And Joplin.

Another great one to see.

Wow.

I think, though, that who's selling more merch.

I think my band is selling more merch.

Who the fuck wants a shirt of those guys?

Bowie?

Billy, Joel.

No, but if they want everything,

Bowie, Billy, Stevie, and Johnny?

I don't think so.

Tay, Tay, Queen B.

I can't believe Melancamp's even in this conversation.

Yeah.

That was an odd choice.

No, he's got a great voice.

Nobody's saying it.

And he sings about the heartland.

He's unpopular.

I'm tired of hearing about Taylor Swift's fucking stupid cock songs.

I don't care about her boyfriend's dicks.

I'm surprised you care this much.

Actually, they're saying that this album is not as good because she has a steady boyfriend.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

They're saying that her breakup songs were way more emotional and thought out than her.

Nobody likes a happy artist, man.

Nobody likes a happy artist.

All right.

So

you're the thinker, Q.

I'll take it.

I'll take it.

So, So, what's this favor now you need?

Let's hash this out on air.

I think you should do it on air.

Pigeon hole them.

Put them in a corner.

Put baby in a corner.

If it involves me leaving my house, the answer is no up front.

No, no, no.

All right.

Let's do it.

What do you mean?

You're my friend.

What do you mean?

You're not.

I was wondering if I could get, if, if, if I was invited to QS this year,

if I could have my father along with me.

The answer to that is yes.

I just have to make sure we have the room.

I would probably, I could share a room with him.

Yeah, of course, absolutely.

Yeah.

And I do the airfare.

Well, yeah, I don't think you're asking me to pay for your dad's vacation, but yeah, you got it, of course.

Yeah, you got it, bud.

Okay.

Just depends on space.

I don't know what the, but yeah, you're invited in, of course, so I would love to have your father there without a doubt.

We'll figure it out.

We'll work it out.

Yeah.

Great.

All right.

Kid him.

That wasn't well.

You know, now that you've got it on, you've got a confirmation you come.

Does that change the

scoring?

No?

No.

Okay.

I'll remember that.

Because I haven't even asked my father yet, so I don't care.

That's not what he's talking about.

I know, but he can say no.

That would be great, dude.

It would be wonderful to have your dad there, of course.

Tell him, Steve Dave.

I guess so.

Yeah, Petered out towards the end.

Sure.

He's got to do the judge.

He can't fly.

Yeah, he's too competitive.

He can't can't take it.

He's too dependent.

Like me, I lose.

I'm like, all right, that's part of the course.

What was the general reaction to cliffhangers and me not knowing that was backsliding was possible until the end of the game?

I'd say 80%

thought that the rule made sense, that there would be no point of ever freezing.

Because there'd be like, what was the point of me freezing just so if I could take a shot at it and if I get it wrong, I go back.

I would just go straight on.

No, no, no.

But the fact that that wasn't explained to me before the game started.

I think it depends where you read.

I think different platforms had different varying opinions.

Okay.

Yeah.

Got you.

Reddit was like, he's a Nazi.

He loves AI.

Well, tell him Steve Davis.