Ep. 224 – its the cops, scram!

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Well, now we're starting for real.

Now we're starting, Adam.

So

you're being docked to your pay for this break.

I wonder what kind of what he's going to do in the bathroom.

Probably look at...

Look at pictures of guys on his phone.

He's left his phone here.

Let's see.

Whoa, look at his favorites.

Yeah.

Look at all his.

What the hell?

I'm typing in codes until his phone erases.

You're just going to lock him out forever.

No, the iPhone is disabled.

Try again in a minute.

Good luck looking at your phone now.

Hopefully, Adam gets here in a minute, or else we'll do it again.

Yeah, for a minute.

I did that to George.

You're watching Jackass.

Wow, wow, wow.

I guess that's Canada Hill.

This is press buttons on a phone until the fire doesn't go to work.

We got April's phone.

We got April's phone.

It's 3.30 a.m.

And April's about to get up for work.

She's a nurse that has to drive into New York to take care of retarded kids with COVID.

And

we're going to press buttons on her phone

until she gets into a car accident.

Driving to the hospital.

We're pressing the emergency button on 9-1-1.

We're calling 9-1-1-1-1-1 on people's phones.

So they get in trouble.

Yeah.

My name is Adam Marger, and I'm a faggot.

Boop.

You know, I just told the police I'm gay.

Yeah, this is jackass, and this is call the police on Adam's phone and tell them that he's gay.

The guy who owns his phone is gay.

We're calling the police on Adam for being gay.

What do you tell you?

Bow, wow, wow.

Here he comes.

He's

oh, we did.

The police

tell him, stop, tell them what we did.

We didn't do nothing.

We didn't do anything.

Nothing happened.

If the police come and arrest you for being gay, that's because they had an investigation going.

I'm sorry.

I thought that was a magnifying glass, but it's a router.

It's a router for the computer.

Oh, my bad.

I thought it was a magnifying glass.

I was going to look at your dick.

It's 5 a.m.

and we're looking at Phil's dick.

We're not going to wake him up.

We're just going to look at his dick on Bay Amarsh Aaron.

This is look at Phil's penis.

Look at my own father's penis.

This is look at Phil's penis while he's asleep.

It's 11 a.m.

in the morning.

And Phil's asleep.

This is night vision.

It's 12.30 in the afternoon.

Phil's taking a little snack and a nap, and we're looking at his penis.

Bam, what are y'all doing over there?

Come on, Bam.

Stop taking a peek at my dink.

Come on, Bam.

Don't pink at my dink.

Don't pink at it.

Why are you pinking at my dink when I'm trying to slomp?

Dude,

Phil used to look exactly like Bam.

Yeah.

He just gains 20 pounds every year.

Young Phil?

Young Phil looked exactly like Bam.

I gotta see this.

And Bam was about to look like Bram.

It's gonna be funny when old Stot Verse looks like ironic Stop Rose.

Dude, absolutely.

First of all, there is no ironic.

I've transcended that.

I'm one in the same brother.

You live in New York long enough, and then you just become.

People are like, oh, would you like a New York hipster?

It's like, no, you guys, we'd come up with it.

Yep.

And then you pretend to be us in 10 years to be gay by the way.

When you're bald with a gut.

Yeah, dude.

Absolutely.

Oh, this look is going to sweep the nation.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're at the vanguard of a new trip.

I'm not even joking.

I guarantee you I am.

The wide goatee.

Wide goatee.

Hair like Fraser.

I've given myself a sling blade haircut.

I'm going sling blade haircut and mesh trucker hat.

I love it.

Nick is

a prison look.

Dude, it's time.

It's time to bring back Von Dutch.

Von Dutch.

It's time to bring back the stuff that was popular when we first started jacking off.

Phil's asleep.

And we're dressing him up in Von Dutch clothes.

So when he goes to work, everybody's like, whoa, what the hell is this?

2004?

Whoa, who's this showing up to the factory?

Is it Ashton Kutch?

Is this Kevin Federlon?

Is it?

Whoa, here comes Kate Feder.

which by the way one of the most one of the finesse lords of all time yeah just kevin federline getting getting getting top tier triple a pussy in the prom ruining it and then getting fat as hell getting paid baby

and getting the kids too you know who's honestly the finesse hall of famer of all time is paul george's current i believe fiancé he

she he got her pregnant while she was a stripper he was dating uh doc rivers Callie Rivers, Doc Rivers, who's now married to Seth Curry.

Who's now married to Seth Curry?

Yeah,

he got a stripper pregnant, offered her a million dollars to have an abortion.

She said no,

and then

she sued for custody of the kid.

He lost,

and then somehow they ended up having another kid together, and now they're dating.

She fucking did it, dude.

They got to retire her fucking heels at the strip club.

You know what?

She's crazy, but he loves her.

Spam or Jera.

It's 3 a.m and this is reading goosebumps on under the covers

i'm in my bedroom this is getting scared at goosebumps i'm reading it came from beneath the sink

under the covers and i got a flashlight and i'm scared i just learned how to read again i'm learning how i'm relearning how to read i'm relearning how to skate and how to read i forgot i somehow forgot how to read the english language

i spent too much time in iceland remembering my dead friend.

I spent too much time learning him too.

I spent too much time drawing hardograms.

Shouts out.

What's he up to, man?

He's got to come back on the show.

He does.

Damn.

He has to become fucking.

I think he's thriving.

He probably doesn't remember doing the shot.

No, I think he does.

That was so wild.

He was like just gone.

Dude.

You know what?

The next day, his entire life fell apart.

He was on TMT

slapping that fucking loser, his manager, whatever.

That was so fucking funny.

It says so much that he probably doesn't remember it.

And for me, it was one of the best days of my entire life.

Dude, I'm telling my children about it.

It was a highlight.

It was

a high point of my life.

I mean, Gene.

Gene was the high point.

Gene changed my life.

Who gives a fuck about Bam Martin?

No, I care.

But it was a double.

That's what's so beautiful about it.

Wait, can I.

Gene plus Bam in the same day?

I cared until I found out shortly after that that he was going to do Brandon Sagalow's podcast also.

No, he wasn't.

Yeah, he was.

And then he had the meltdown, and that's what ruined it.

Yep, that's right.

Guess what he did?

We made him do Sagalo's podcast.

So it was, yeah, well, he didn't.

That's right.

We cockblocked him.

Sorry,

not that I have a problem.

No, we love Sagalow, but let's be honest.

But, you know, I mean, if he's doing multiple podcasts in one day, exactly.

If he's doing, if we're getting guests that can do Sag's podcast, I mean,

what are we?

Fucking a couple of fags?

You might as well

call us Nick, Adam, and Stavros Fagalo.

You might as well call us the fag crew.

And that's what I'm saying.

I can't wait to see him.

I can't wait to psychologist get so many tweets for no reason.

He's like, what?

What's the fag crew?

Yeah.

Shouts out, Brent.

I just want to do a plug real quick.

Gene started a podcast.

It's called Straight Talk with Gene DiNopolis.

He said he was going to do that for a while.

Yeah.

So I was saying a couple of guys from the old neighborhood.

Just talk about Italian stuff.

He said that to us.

No, he said, yeah, because it's got everything.

It's got New York for fans.

That's a different thing.

That's his reality.

Not to give away too much.

That was his reality show, bitch, that involved Italian or elves himself.

So, yeah.

Yeah, Gene's doing his.

He's got Italian fans, got New York fans, and the Melvis.

Yeah, and the Melvis.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, can you finish?

Gene's doing his podcast.

It's at

8:30 on Monday nights on Facebook Live.

And I don't think that's a podcast, but

is it released anywhere else?

He's calling it, yeah, he posts the whole thing to Instagram.

Awesome.

So he posts like a two-hour just selfie video of himself.

I listen to some of it.

You know, the guy's got it.

He's been in entertainment for long enough.

I miss him, man.

God damn, dude, I miss Gene.

We got to have him.

But I told him on Instagram DMs that I would plug it on the show.

Give him a little bump.

So everyone,

show some love to Gene.

All love to Gene.

All love to Gene.

He's one of the greatest people I've ever met.

Yo, we're taking a look at Gene's penis.

We're sneaking into his house and we're looking at his penis.

We are stealing his pubes

from the garbage.

I rode the Staten Island Ferry the other night and went in the bathroom, and somebody had just left

just all their pubes.

That's awesome.

Trimming your shock hair shaved.

Right before you got cleaned up before you go get some trim.

Some Staten Island

tanks.

Getting that Shaolin pussy.

Going out to the islands to get some pussy.

Absolutely.

I love that.

I love that.

That fucking rules, dude.

Have you ever trimmed your hair in public, Adam?

No, I I can't say I have it.

We'll talk about it a little later.

Say at the 20-minute mark.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

I think that's a great idea to talk about that.

Sounds good.

Nick and I, on the way here, we saw a very confusing assortment of bumper stickers on a car.

What do we got?

It was four USMC crests.

Okay.

Marine Corps.

Four Marine Corps Crests.

What was it, Nick?

The free sticker that comes with Apple with your products.

Awesome.

Deman is a user of the the Apple

experience.

Fuck QuickBooks payments for stealing

$1,200 for us.

I know that's not a thing that anyone who's listening to this show is going to use.

Yeah.

No, absolutely.

But a hard fuck them.

Unless QuickBooks starts making like a

diet energy drink.

Right.

I think nobody listening to this show

if there's a way to harass QuickBooks payments.

Yes, for once, do something good with your fucking trolling.

I don't know how

or even

in in any capacity, but fuck that company.

Who owns it?

Quicken?

Is it

all a company called Intuit that

lobbies the government to keep taxes complicated so they can continue robbing people?

Oh boy.

The reason taxes are complicated is because

they pay lobbyists so that their software stays relevant.

So you heard, yep.

So if you want to do, if you want to harass them or you want to do a whole Tyler Durden type of situation,

whatever that is.

If you want to start a fight club or whatever, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah,

this is having case action.

If you want to set the world on fire, that's all it is.

This is having case sex.

Stop whispering.

You know, I was thinking about how

teachers get caught for pretending to be black or Afro-Latino.

Free Jessica Krug or whatever her name is.

Right.

But they're always doing that, right?

There's always some woke professor that's on Twitter.

It's professors shouldn't have Twitter.

I think that's

true.

It's so annoying when professors because you know what it is?

It's the distillation of professors trying to be cool.

Right.

When you're on Twitter, that's like the fucking E-version of like putting a chair.

Can I have one of those bananas?

Yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

It really telegraphs that you're trying to get some 18-year-old pussy.

How about a professor that's like, he gets outed because he's been pretending to be gay?

He's on social media.

He's like, I love Karl Marx.

There's nothing I love more than the thing we need to, what we need to do is make sure that straight people

don't.

And then people are like, how about this video of you from five years ago where you're like, I tell you, there's nothing I love more than Red Lobster.

I get those cheese biscuits and then I pounce.

This is

a lot of things have changed since then.

I'm sorry.

You could say you're late in life.

See, that's the flaw in your plan.

You could say late in life, I became gay.

I became gay.

I'm gay.

I'm gay.

I'm gay.

George,

I'm having gay sex.

I'm sucking off guys.

Sucking off, guys.

You can't be sucking off guys, Jerry.

All right.

Wait, let me finish the stickers.

But I'm having gay sex.

Two Sunoco gas station stickers.

Sunoco, I call it sucknoco because then I go to the bathroom and I suck off guys.

Guys,

two zombie apocalypse investigation unit stickers.

Oh, that's pretty cool.

A New York Yankees NY decal.

I'd love for Aaron Judge to fuck my ass.

And what kind of guy was it driving the car?

China.

Oh, no, no.

A Mexican flag.

But instead of the eagle in the middle, it had a menorah.

Oh, what?

Yeah, that one's the best.

That's an Italian flag.

Was it?

Oh, no.

Yeah, it was Italian.

Makes a lot more sense.

There's a lot of intermixing between those two wretched bases.

Yeah, the red, yellow, or red,

white, white, and green.

Not red, gold, and green Rasta colors.

So then Nick's sped up to 100 so we could see what kind of guy it was.

Of course.

And it was an Indian man.

That's awesome.

I wonder if there's Indian Jewish people.

I mean, there's got to be this country.

Yes, there are countries.

There are.

Really?

Yeah.

I knew.

It's just in there in India.

You guys mean like that?

Or maybe I'll smell a little bit worse.

Maybe you stink a little bit more.

Yes.

Smell just a little bit stinkier.

Another classic mashup character.

Oh, fuck.

I have to hit send on an email.

I'll be right back.

What is it?

It's what was gay pornography.

You have to say, send me.

What do you have to?

I mean, the ways, the interesting ways fat people find to be lazy.

They're like, I'll write the email, then I'll take a 15-minute break before clicking send.

Yeah, that's it.

I ran out of fingers here.

You're having a

moment.

Oh, stop.

I do.

Okay, first of all,

I want to publicly acknowledge I went into piss after you took a shit.

Goddamn, I was aware of that.

For a man with such a big ass

and a big belly, I got to say, really not

much of a

Indian Jewish guy in there.

He's just cooking dinner.

By the way, I was not taking a break.

I had to send the file, and it takes a while to upload, and I forgot.

Thank you very much.

Oh, okay.

You know.

How long does it take you guys to upload something that's like a gig?

Like on Google Drive?

A while, right?

I have no idea.

Not that long.

I don't really pay attention.

Unless my uploads are.

You should see if you can get Fios.

I would love Fios.

I can't get Fios in my neighborhood.

Yeah.

No, Verizon is like, Verizon, like, I guess, and I don't remember all the details or any of them, really.

So, like, you know, because they owned all the phone lines,

they had to provide phone service to everybody.

And, like, they weren't allowed to just discontinue that service, even though it cost them a lot of money to keep it going.

Right.

And so they were like.

Half the time they're like, well, we'll just take the fines.

I guess we'll just

cut people off.

Fuck them.

They don't get phones.

Fuck these people.

Fuck poor people.

Yeah.

But they made some kind of deal where if they promised to roll out fiber to a certain amount of, like,

it's all in the East Coast, like here.

And then I think in

Boston and then D.C.

or something, they could cut off phone service if they rolled out a certain amount of

fiber optic networks.

And then they just didn't do it.

They just cut off the phone service.

Respect.

Yeah.

So wait, so now they are doing it or they're not?

No,

there's still like a there's no home phone service where I live, right?

And there's only one option for internet.

Yeah.

I might move, dude.

I might say goodbye to this place.

Yeah.

You're going to stay in Astoria?

I don't know.

Maybe Greenpoint, maybe Park Slope.

Park Slope's nice.

Somewhere cute.

Me and my.

We were talking with a couple, and I think they're gay.

They're looking for a three to four bedroom.

Preferably rancher in the Texas so country.

Oh, I love a ranch house.

Why?

Because I like one-story houses.

You do?

Yeah.

I like a big one-story.

I don't know.

I like more story.

It appeals to me.

No, that's too much with the stairs.

I like to be able to take a segue

everywhere I go in my house.

You want to be able to rollerblade?

I like to have a tech startup kind of vibe at my crib.

That's awesome, bro.

Yeah, I like to rollerblade throughout the house.

No, to me, having multiple stories is elegance.

Oh, boys, big news.

Especially in New York.

New York, if you have multiple stories, you're fucking Matt Damon.

I just want a big-ass garage.

That's the dream.

That would be awesome.

That fucking hanger.

And then you just, you know, that's your world, dude.

Yeah, dude.

You have twists on a fucking bench.

That's your world, dude.

That's your world, isn't it?

That's it.

You can do whatever you want.

Go ahead and fuck me, man.

I don't care.

Go ahead.

You want to molest me, bro.

What's up?

You want to fucking molest me?

See if I fucking care.

I don't fucking shit.

Go ahead.

Kiss me up.

Touch me.

Kiss me up.

Fucking rock my world, homes.

I don't care.

Suck my balls, homie.

Fucking go ahead.

Put my balls in your mouth, man.

Yeah, show me stuff.

Let me see something.

Teach me how to fuck a man.

I don't care.

That's right.

Hey, I'm not even playing with you, Holmes.

You want to take me into a basement, make me do videos with other little boys?

I don't care.

I'll fucking dress up.

I'll do shit.

I don't give a shit.

Put a dress on me, Hams.

Fucking take advantage of me.

I don't fucking lure me into your car.

See if I fucking

give a fuck, man.

Give me candy, take me back to your place.

Fucking spread me out.

Let's see how wide I can get.

I don't care who am I gonna tell.

I keep secrets, that's it.

I don't even care, man.

Fuck my ass.

Yeah, well, it seems that your son Michael

was most likely molested, and now he's in a fugue state in which he thinks he's

a South

Southern California

Latino gangster.

And, you know, the fugue state, that is kind of normal, but we haven't seen

a personality split to this degree where a six-year-old boy from Danbury, Connecticut

thinks that he's a Cholo.

Where did he even have access to these kinds of archetypes?

We don't know because the man who molested him was a Jewish mailman.

So it's not even like, you know.

It's possible he was playing Training Day

in the background.

He was playing Blood In, Blood Out.

He was playing Blood in Blood Out.

It's possible,

but we're not positive.

I don't even care.

I don't care, man.

Can I have my Switch back?

Give me my Switch and give me some fucking candy.

Let let me get my fucking switch so i can play animal crossing while i think about being molested

i don't even fucking care go ahead

every single day after school i thought you were my uncle

this is why you i remember my dad saying the whole password thing was stupid and then what look what happened six months later i'm fucking molested bro i'm getting my ass fucked bro they tell they tell you that password thing for a fucking reason

i bet you he's got a password on his fucking email he uses to cheat on mom.

But for some reason, when it comes to who gets to pick me up from school,

the password thing is quote unquote gay.

It's gay to have who the fuck is going to pretend to be your uncle to pick you up.

Those were his exact words.

And now I got to live like this.

Now I'm talking like this, man.

How am I going to get a fucking job, bro?

My name is Anthony Wexler.

I'm seven years old.

I'm six.

I'm seeks.

I'm six.

I'm seeks.

I'm fucking six years old.

I'm six years old.

Now I fucking talk like this.

I'll tell you what, that guy who shaved his pubes in the bathroom of the Stan Island Ferry.

Yeah.

Probably could have done a better job if he had been using the landscaped

Lawnmower 3.0 or perfect package.

And he may have been.

He may have just enjoyed.

Well, the thing is with the Quiet Stroke motor, the Quiet Stroke technology, he probably could have been operating the Lawnmower 3.0 in the bathroom in a public restroom and no one would have been the wiser.

That's how quiet and seamless this motor is.

And he wouldn't even need to turn the light on because it's got a built-in LED.

That's exactly correct.

Yeah, Manscaped is they're dedicated to helping you level up your full-body grooming game,

which is that's a really cool thing.

That's an awesome thing to do.

That's dedicated to dude.

Imagine.

Go ahead, man.

Level up my full body.

Go ahead.

Level me up.

Level me up, bro.

Go ahead.

Come rock my fucking world.

Fuck around or find out.

Come watch me get nasty with it.

Put it out.

I don't care.

I'm in fucking second grade.

I'm not a fucking kindergarten baby.

I'm not a fucking kindergarten baby who's scared of stuff.

Go ahead.

Level me up.

Level up my body grooming.

They actually just released their Shears 2.0 nail kit, which is the perfect add-on package to the Lawnmower 3.0, more perfect package.

Sounds awesome.

The Shears 2.0 is a luxury four-piece nail kit.

I actually looked it up.

It's cheap as shit.

It's like fucking.

Really?

Yeah, it's like $10, $20.

Nice.

You think, because the other things are like full deal.

Right.

Um,

they actually do have now.

I look at their like pricing and stuff.

Now, yep, now that it's time to do an ad.

Now it's time to do an ad.

It's, it's, uh, it's very reasonable and good.

Yeah.

More than reasonable.

Cheap.

It's, it's, it is dog shit cheap.

This is some cheap shit.

This is some fucking garaba.

No, I mean, just like they're, they're like, because you think, well, it's, oh, it's just clippers, right?

And yes, it's just clippers.

But they're also uh uh they did something to make sure that your ball skin doesn't get sucked into the clippers.

But then this shit, it's like it comes with underwear.

You get this fucking lotion.

Oh, yeah.

And I will say I've lo I've shaved my nuts with it multiple times.

It's awesome.

Yeah.

It is awesome.

And you best believe that underwear has the branded manscaped around the fucking elastic.

So all the lores know your nuts are fucking.

My pubs aren't dense enough to do a fade, and I'm all about fades.

Yeah, dude.

I got slashes through my pubes.

I got the Nike swoosh.

I did the Nike swoosh, and then the hair around my asshole.

That's awesome.

With the manscape

lawnmower 3.0

with the skin.

But so, no, they got this, like this, the perfect package 3.0.

You get the lawnmower, the crop preserver.

It's an anti-ball chafing deodorant.

Uh-huh.

I'll put that shit on.

They got a toner and refresher, and then a magic mat, which is a disposable.

It's like a diaper.

It's a disposable shaving mat

that you can

stick a shit inside of.

That you stand on.

You can take a standing dump.

If you're on the train, you're wearing a dress because it's New York.

Yes.

And everyone here wears dresses.

It's a hot New York day.

You got that breeze coming up your dress.

I'm in New York homes, and I want to take a dump of the train.

I don't care, bro.

I'll take a dump right here.

I hit up the manscaped magic mat to take a dump right on there.

But look, you get a travel bag.

It's a $40 travel bag.

I fuck with the bag.

Yeah, see?

I mean, you get a lot of shit.

What they do is they curate.

They're a very nice toiletry bag.

They curate a whole experience around grooming yourself.

You're getting your nuts out of that.

Right.

I think the problem

prior to this, in terms of understanding what's going on, is like it's not about one individual product, but the entire process and ritual of self-care and grooming, which is what is presented by this company.

That's right.

That's why, you know, you throw the shears on there too.

You take care of your nails.

I would never take care of my nails.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I bite my nails.

But if

I had this package

where I just shaved my nuts and then applied a cleanser and a toner, which I have done and it feels great.

I like to slap it up.

At that point, I would take the scissors and the nail kit, which I also have, and finish the process of grooming.

Yeah.

Circumcise yourself.

Human beings

are animals of ritual.

And

you need the entire grooming experience, which is why it makes sense that these are sort of grouped into these packages.

I agree 100%.

Which are reasonably priced and sexy.

Oh, they're sexy.

They're sexy.

You're probably wearing flip-flops and people don't want to see those nasty unclipped toes of yours.

Actually,

no, you're not.

You're probably putting on socks and shoes and not leaving your house.

You're dressing up to sit down at the computer and write your manifesto.

But you need to be well-groomed.

I love it, dude.

I take my cold shower in the morning.

I apply

dog shit to my face.

Do you mean literal dog shit?

Yeah,

I heat up a knife on the stove and I press it against my body.

And, you know, and then I do my endscaping with the perfect package.

Yeah, before that, you were using a hot

water knife to shave your nuts.

Before that, it was about punishment.

But what I realized, it's about ritual.

and and yeah you have nothing but these disgusting disfigured marks all across your thighs and nuts but now with the fucking lawnmower 3.0 those are a thing of the past no it is it is nice though like self-care and grooming or whatever if you get into a habit of doing it it gives you something to do immediately when you wake up and you're not like

the fuck am I you know yeah I just instead of just laying in bed maybe jacking off I never lay in bed I get up and then I'm like what the fuck am I mad about right

you know and then I find something.

And then

there goes the day.

Oh, great.

Yeah.

Whatever this is.

There's a Chinese guy going through my recycling.

Perfect Package 3.0 comes at the essential lawnmower 3.0 waterproof cordless body trimmer and a ton of other liquid before made.

That's cool.

You can do it in the shower.

Yeah.

See, I wouldn't, though.

You take the shower, you apply your shit or whatever, then you get out.

Then it's, or you start off.

You start off shaving.

Then you go for a rinse.

I don't combine a shower with anything.

No?

No.

I've thought about brushing my teeth.

I've been thinking about setting a timer so I take the exact same length of shower every single day.

That would be nice.

Or just a stopwatch and then try to train myself to naturally do an hour and 15 minutes

in the cold.

What would you say your showers go for?

Probably five minutes now, at most.

Five?

Three minutes.

Wow, navy shower.

Yeah, no, I hop in, I fucking lather

up.

Especially, like, you know, now that my hair is short.

Yeah, you don't have to shampoo.

Yeah.

Oh, I do shampoo.

I shampoo when I have short hair.

When I have long hair, I don't.

Interesting.

Because it's the natural oils.

See,

now that I have hair, I shampoo, I condition everything.

You have more hair than I do now.

I know.

Yeah, way more.

I know.

It's crazy.

See how

I'm fatter than you are.

That's true.

You're also getting close to being able to grow a beard.

Yeah.

Well, I'm sticking with with the goatee.

Thank you very much.

I mean, it's a great look.

Tony Stark Prano.

It is a really good look.

The Tony Stark Prano.

Pretty much exactly.

I'm Tony Stark Prano, dude.

You got to tell the guys at home, you did that by using, you used the manscaped.

Right from my nuts to my face.

The double chin shaver, which is

especially made for me.

If you're

a plus-sized man, they have the manscaped double chin system.

Because

what is a double chin if it's not sort of like a second pair of balls on your face?

Yeah, right.

For a limited time, subscribers get two free gifts, the travel bag, which we said was good, and then the boxers, which we already mentioned that.

So we already said those things.

The shears are nice.

You want to use promo code ComeTown20 to get 20% off plus free shipping.

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Try it out.

And, you know, I mean,

yeah, see, start your day off shaving your

cock every day.

Shaving your cock every single day.

I like to go a little, like, just like a little pencil line around the base of my cock.

Oh, that's cool.

Because then you get the optical inch without keeping some pieces.

The Raul.

That's an awesome name.

I love giving my cock the Raul.

And then I put,

Manscape sells it also, but I have a little

Saint Anthony medallion.

Oh, you have to have that.

Yeah, that I put around

for good luck.

Yeah.

And then a little wife beater that goes over my bubbles.

That's awesome.

I have a pair of rosary beads I wrap around my package.

Yeah.

Wow.

Are they the world's smallest rosary beads?

They're so small, bro.

Are they for ants?

Then check them out.

20% off.

Zoolander.

Manscaped.

What is this?

Promo code.

A penis rosary bead for ants.

What is this?

A penis for ants?

What is this?

A A penis for ants?

What is this?

Yeah, that's good.

That's good.

Zula.

Those were good bananas.

That was a good banana.

Was it?

It looked a little green to me.

I love bananas.

I like an underripe banana.

No.

I do.

I don't like a spotty banana.

I don't like a spotty one either, but I don't like an underripe.

I like a ranch.

You can

slightly underripe.

Ella eat all kinds of bananas.

Adam likes it when they're hard and firm.

That's true.

That makes sense.

Now that I think about it.

I like a nice soft, sweet banana.

Hard, firm.

A little sweet cheek.

Go ahead, slide that soft, sweet banana into my ass.

See if I care, Holmes.

I don't even fucking can.

I don't even.

You know what?

I'm on the playground.

Come find me.

Come find me.

Come find me on the fucking playground.

I'm hiding in the slide.

All the other kids, they were smart and they ran away to their parents, but I stayed in the slide.

Guess who fished me out?

Guess who fucking guessed which the Jewish mailman fished me out?

Now I'm fucking.

Now I'm a Cholo man.

Yeah, it's fucking blood blood in, blood out.

Blood in, blood out, dude.

Only way out is to be unmolested.

So that doesn't work.

How could you get unmolested?

A hot lady fucking you?

No, you have to molest.

You got to molest.

You have to molest a grown man.

I didn't understand what people, when they would be like, the only way out is in a box when I was a kid,

but like they mail you somewhere.

Like, what, like, how Garfield gets rid of Normal.

That was his move.

Yeah.

Send him to Antarctic.

Gone.

Yeah, we had that debate about whether Normal was a girl.

He's a guy.

Yeah, insane.

I can see why he was annoyed by Normal now.

Oh, because he's a gay guy, not a hot girl.

Exactly.

Yeah, he thought it was a hot chick at first.

He was getting his dick sucked by Normal.

He went to finger pop him and he's like, What the hell is this?

This is a cat pick.

I'm gay now.

Look at that.

You can't even see the flame.

Why'd you light a plastic on fire?

What do you even smell about?

Because I'm twisty.

Oh, gosh.

One of our other

sponsors is the Pyro Cool Pyro.

Pyros for Porno.

Pyro.

I'm going to put that out for you.

That drips on my skin and definitely burns the shit out of me.

I did that once when I was a kid by accident.

You burned yourself with plastic?

Yeah.

I could see you being a kid that lit shit on fire.

Not all the time.

Occasionally.

You try it out.

Yeah.

I was scared.

You were scared.

You were scared of fire.

You were scared to light shit on fire?

Yeah, yeah.

Why?

I didn't want to get burned.

I was too pretty.

No, that's.

I was too precious.

I was taught that I was precious.

Yeah.

And I didn't want to harm myself.

Who's the fire guy?

Prometheus?

Prometheus.

Yeah.

Yeah, he was cool.

Yeah.

He said, fuck the gods.

I've got a Promethean mentality.

You know, let's figure shit out.

Let's cut ourselves with the tools.

Prometheus was like, look, everybody, it can't just be gods that get to have fucking ribs.

Everybody else should have ribs and fucking

shit like that.

Is that your patron god?

No, I don't think he's a god.

He's not a god.

He stole from the gods.

He stole from the gods.

He was like, What's up?

Who's Hephaestus?

That's the god.

That's the guy in the fucking

blacksmith.

Yes.

That's it.

Yep.

Hephaestus rocks.

He is cool.

He's metal.

And

he's always in his dark little fucking cave and he's just banging shit.

He's like strong.

Hephaestus is a Zaddy.

Apollo is definitely a twink.

I've been listening to Sabbath again recently.

Hell yeah.

Which

albums?

Technical Ecstasy.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

That one's got the gas mask, like pilot cover, right?

I think so.

People said that wasn't like that was reviewed poorly, but I liked that one.

It's sick.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's a cool name.

Yeah, and Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath.

Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath.

Who sucks on your dick?

Check out this guy.

Me.

I'm gay.

My dick's small.

Nick, you're going to have a phase, I think, where you learn blacksmith shit.

Probably not.

You don't think so?

You don't want to forge in your backyard?

Nah, that seems gay to me.

But you just said Hephaestus was cool.

Metalworking, sure.

I could get into that.

Metalworking.

What's the difference?

Well, one's you build a forge in your backyard and make swords for other fags to

make it a Ren's fair.

The other ones you made like fences and gates and stuff.

No.

You know who's really into that?

Metalworking?

Bob Dylan.

Oh, my God.

Shut the fuck up.

He's really gay.

He's really into that.

It is gay.

I just remember.

No, it's not gay.

First of all, I always said it was.

You always said it was.

You just said it was cool two minutes ago.

Because I thought Nick was talking about making swords, which he thinks is gay, but I think it's cool.

But not for a Ren Fair to slice your enemies up.

It'd be cool to get into gunsmithing.

Make guns?

That would be cool.

That's cooler than making fences.

Bob Dylan makes fences, and you think that's cool.

He makes like wrought iron gates.

Oh, what a fucking loser.

He's not a loser, dude.

He's cool.

He sucks.

When you type in Prometheus, all you get is the aliens from Prometheus.

They fucked it up, dude.

They fucked up the Google.

Those aliens are badass, though.

Yeah.

The Prometheus.

I just watched Aliens 1 and 2.

I'm about to watch the whole rest of them.

Did you like it?

Yeah, they were good.

Although I liked Alien, the first one, better

than the James Cameron one.

Imagine looking like that.

That was pretty good.

That's what I imagined myself.

When I shaved my head, that's what I thought I looked like.

That's what looked back at me in the mirror.

Now I look different now that I have hair and a goatee.

That is just like

when people are going bald and they have those sympathy articles or whatever, like Bruce Willows, or did Jason Satham?

The Prometheus alien.

Prometheus alien.

That's me.

That was me.

I've abandoned that look now.

This is just what white people would look like if they look like black people.

You know what I mean?

That's true.

If, like, white people were

white people were as white as some black guys are black people.

They're black, yes.

That's what you would look like.

This guy would be like, hey, son, you ever hear about Adolf Hitler?

Let me tell you, hey, son, let me holler at you.

There was this professor named Adolf Hitler.

All right?

And he understood that there was a master race.

Yes.

Just this guy hanging out on Fulton.

A white Fulton.

Everyone look up the Prometheus aliens.

The Prometheus aliens, yeah.

If you're cool.

Yeah.

Just wearing the white version of Kente Claus.

I guess it's like Scottish tartans.

Yeah.

Damn.

Although I gotta say, that's too white.

Yeah.

Vicious traps.

Look at that.

Yeah.

Damn, dude.

Look at his neck.

Yeah.

Insane.

I know what that looks like because that's why I look like I'm going to get big traps.

Just brushing your hair.

I do have a brush.

A friend of mine got me a brush.

He said it stimulates hair growth.

Oh, nice.

Yeah.

So that's what I'm doing.

Oh, comb a forward.

Oh, yeah.

Let's see a nice forward.

You like the comb forward?

That's a full head of hair, right there.

That's awesome.

Dude, I'm about to be at comb over length for sure.

Oh, God.

This is a great visual.

Yeah, you guys aren't getting our friends at home area.

But guess what?

Shut the fuck up.

Just picture stuff brushing his hair forward.

That is a great look.

Wow.

Dude, going bald is so funny.

Yeah, well, I have hair, so I don't know what you mean.

Before I had short hair.

And I was telling you guys for the longest time, I have hair.

You're right.

I choose to have it short.

And now how now look who's got egg on their face.

Look who's talking now.

Look who's putting egg on their face to stimulate hair growth.

Well, first of all, anyone should be doing that.

Not just

if there was a way, like if there was like just like some, they cured it, right?

Like you take a pill,

and then it's fucking all back.

You do it?

That's a hard question.

That's a that's like the X-Men, dude.

Would they give, would they be normal?

Um,

the pill also makes you lose 150 pounds.

Oh, that's tough.

I'll just be like a like a skinny guy with hair.

Yeah, yeah, I lose both my essences at once.

Think about it.

That's really honestly, I am literally, it sounds not a bit.

I'm honestly grappling with this.

Really?

Yeah, interesting.

Am I even me if it's a little bit of a picture?

It also makes you 6'3.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

And it makes your dick deader and harder.

It gives you at least an average dick.

How damn that is.

Does it make your foreskin wider?

That's all I need.

It stretches out.

It stretches out your foreskin.

But not too baggy.

I guess I'd have to do it, but it would be.

I guess I wouldn't.

You know what it is?

I don't even mind if all that stuff happened to me, but I'd want to earn it.

You know,

wouldn't want to overnight become somebody else yeah I'd want to have a journey to get there yeah nobody wants to take those pills

you know what

yeah you I guess I would do it for the hair alone

it's not about the destination though I feel it's about the journey it is

the Odyssey brother that's a good

pussy on that island where all my guys turn into pigs I want to get tied down so I don't get pussy from the fucking harpies.

There's a lot of getting pussy involved in the Odyssey.

There's a lot of of betting, too.

Absolutely.

They do a lot of gambling.

Odysseus was doing a lot of wagering.

Yeah.

And you know, football season is back.

Oh, yeah.

It's back in full.

Is it back with Antonio Brown or is it back with Antonio Brown is on the Raiders?

The Raiders.

Can we get the copy or no?

Yeah, no.

Antonio Brown is on the Oakland Raiders.

How about this?

Tom Brady is on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Okay.

Wow.

You're blowing my mind.

Well, the NFL is back, and this year there's no black people.

They finally did it.

They finally took the plunge and said, we're going to be the only sport that's racist.

All of the other ones, those are going to be woke sports.

Is there a racist sport left?

I mean, the NFL is sort of

a lot of the owners.

What's the most racist sport now?

The NFL pivoted to woke, though.

Not really.

They're trying to.

The most racist sport, I I guess there's some black hockey players, probably hockey or baseball, I guess.

No, baseball's got tons of Afro-Latinas.

Yeah, but all those guys are like,

no, black, Poppy.

I'm white, man.

I don't mean it, Poppy.

I mean, the black.

All those guys are like that.

Yeah, they like blast hookah.

Yep.

They watch porn in the dugout.

Yeah, oh, that's awesome.

On small kitchen TVs.

Well, mybookie.ag, you can fucking do whatever.

Yep.

Yeah you can do whatever.

You can do whatever the fuck.

You can bet money.

You can bet inches of your cock.

You can just do whatever you go damn.

They got Oregon

Trading.

They got Oregon Trail.

Oregon Trail, Oregon Training.

You can play Oregon Trail.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah.

You can do a lot of that sort of thing.

Your oxen can get dysentery.

Here we go.

So look, if you want want...

MyBookie.ag is winning season returns at my bookie.

Winning season means doubling your first deposit.

Yep.

Winning season means survivor.

Survivor pool.

Super contests.

Super contests and squares.

A lot of you may be asking, well, we know survivor pools, we understand super contests, but what are squares?

Dude, so many good questions.

At my bookie, winning season means hitting all your parlays and props with your feet up.

I love that.

Watching your team trounce their rivals.

That makes me feel awesome.

Rejoice.

It's time to celebrate the NFL season.

Really?

Yes.

A lot of people hard up on cash right now.

You should invest

in your intuition.

Who exactly is doing this read right now?

My name name is Martin Krapp.

Martin Krab.

And I just got out of jail for molesting a six-year-old.

I'm a Jewish mailman.

Come on, man.

Well, you know, hopefully you're rehabilitated, Martin.

And

he's 10 more kids.

He served his time.

I got out on a technicality.

Oh, okay.

Because they could not get the six-year-old to say his own name in court.

Because he was in a fugue state

and would only identify as a 27 year old Latino man

from

Frogtown, Los Angeles.

He said I'm Frogtown's finest

and because he would not, they couldn't get him to testify or identify me,

I received an offer to become the spokesperson for mybookie.ag

because they said,

what are the odds?

Right.

What are the odds?

You did beat the odds.

You beat the odds.

What finer

spokesman for a gambling website than a man who skated on fucking child charges?

Exactly.

It's kind of like in movies where they get a guy who's arrested for hacking and they want the best.

Right.

My bookie, they wanted a guy who's the best at beating the odds.

Yep, you're a regular swordfish.

And I said, I don't know anything about gambling.

I just molest children.

So you're still at it, huh?

Yeah.

But I do say invest in your intuition and use promo code COMETOWN20

and double your first problem.

Martin crap.

New players get up to $1,000.

Free play,

which is

free play has a different meaning for me.

So I'm not

exactly sure what it means in the context of

gambling.

Free play in my household is when

we

let open the cages in the basement but lock the the door at the top of the steps

so the children are able to uh you know kind of they get it's it's sort of a cage-free experience for them right with the exception of uh you know if you consider that the the basement is sealed and soundproof

right so it's like cage-free eggs there's no daylight right exactly it's cage-free kids so but what you would call uh organic molestation organic kids yeah uh it's designed to add more excitement to the sports sports you love and the games you bet.

From live betting to championship futures, every play you want to make is waiting at my bookie.

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The only sports book that has a convicted

one on appeal pedophile.

So not convicted.

Oh, on appeal.

Okay.

So your name,

they wiped your slate clean.

Your name is good.

Are you on the registry, Martin?

The Sex Offenders Registry?

Sorry, an email came in, and I started thinking about what I want to eat after this is over.

And now I'm not Martin anymore.

I'm back to being me.

And the Chuck seized on my drill for the second time in six months.

I'm going to have to send it off to get warrantied.

Okay.

And I'm pissed.

Adam, you want to slap Nick so he stops talking in that voice?

What can we do to get you to snap out?

He's just trapped in Martin.

I guess I could keep talking like the other.

Martin.

It is a good voice.

Martin has a little Obama.

This is like a little piece of Obama.

Goldbloom, a little bit.

He's Goldbloom Obama.

Hi, Martin.

Yeah.

MyBookie

you can have sex with the website

mybookie.ag is one of the only websites that you can have sex with the website.

Wow, that's cool.

Man, having sex with things you can't have sex with is awesome.

I've always wanted to fuck a website.

I'll playbed win, win, what?

An opportunity to fuck your computer

Maybe, yes.

I'll tell you what.

That's one of the few websites you can load up and just put the computer

right into your ass

and type on the computer with your ass muscles.

Wow.

This says original Goldblum iMac ads.

Yeah, I remember that.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, think, dance, play.

You can put the computer in your iMac.

The new iMac, you can have Shackleton.

Put your paints on the iMac.

Oh, for those like orange and blue.

Yeah, yeah, the original ones.

Well, that was like, that was like Apple was like, let's be cool.

And they came out with the iMac.

And that was that big campaign with Goldblum.

I I did think they were cool.

I was a child.

Yeah.

I do remember thinking those were cool computers.

Yeah.

And being pissed at the moment.

I'm so excited about this.

You know how easy it is to take your home videos and turn them into movies?

Listen to this.

You get an iMac, of course.

Get your digital video camera, hook it up, and start iMovie.

They've got effects in there now.

You can

make it real fast.

Ooh.

Or get slow motion, make it dramatic.

Or you can take a piece of music, put it under your footage, and all of a sudden, people are laughing,

crying.

I don't know, whatever you want.

I've got cheesy ideas, but you'll do something creative that will make you want to go, oh, let's watch that again and again and again and again.

Oh,

the new iMac, you're going to load it up.

You can pull up a cock.

This is really cool.

They got the gay pornography on here,

and you can look at it.

You can pull out your cock.

I don't know.

I've got cheesy ideas, but

you can pull out your cock, beat off in front of all of your friends.

The entire computer will fit in your ass.

Put into the whole thing in your ass?

Take off your pants, sit down on the top of the computer, and keep pushing until it's inside your barn.

I almost shit.

I almost literally sharded.

Just now?

Yeah, I thought I got a text.

Now the couch is rolling.

Because there's something that's about to pop out of my ass, I'll tell you that.

Keep it in, brother.

I'm going to professional.

But

I was feeling great, and now I very acutely know that something has to come out of my ass.

Is your homemade calamari?

I've been undercooking stuff thinking, like, well, I eat sushi anyway.

Right.

But I don't think that that's the correct mindset.

I like my chicken pink.

Not chicken.

Chicken I don't fuck with like that in that sense.

I like my chicken extra pink.

I like my penis getting sunk

by a computer

the new iMac you can shove it directly in your ass

this is cool check this out you can laugh dance sing fuck the computer the computer

you're watching family feud I'm your new host Jeff Goldblum

and what do we have here the faggot family

um our name is uh Stevenson yeah it's not please stop calling dump you calling the son man I don't give a shit man I know it's your show but call me the Faggot family one more time, and we're going to have problems.

I don't care, you boys, Will Smith.

I just watched a great episode of Family Few, the best fan I've ever seen on it.

I don't remember their last name, but who's the host?

It was Steve.

It was a modern one.

But the family, they had

the top two guys were named Rodvis and Spezio.

That's just like, and this family was all.

They were just like, fucking, they rocked it.

All right, final round.

We got the Miller family versus Jeff Goldblum, a returning champion.

Go to Jeff.

Name something you can do on the computer.

You can shove it in your ass.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Good God.

Let's see it.

Wrong again, Jeff.

Somehow, still the champion.

Yeah, what are you gonna do?

Make it up on the back end.

I'll just wait till the triple scores.

Yeah, I'll wait until they blow it

until Aunt Demiqua blows it, and then it'll go back to me, and I'll steal the round.

You can shove it up your ass, you can put it in your ass.

Well, I'll tell you what you can do with the computer, Steve.

You can suck on it like a cot.

Oh, Lord.

Oh, Lord.

Oh, Lord.

Keep playing with me.

Keep playing with me, and you're going to find out.

Jeff Goldlum.

God damn it.

I would love to see Steve Harvey fight Jeff Goldblum because he keeps saying gay shit to him.

You got to stop it with this gay shit.

shit.

Name something people think about when they think about Jesus.

Oh, God, no.

Oh, no.

Don't make me ask, Jeff.

Jeff's already smiling.

Stevie, I believe it's my go.

I believe it's my go.

All right, Jeff.

They think about shoving him in the round.

No!

I can't do it.

I'm not going to say it.

I'm not even going to look at the board.

You have to say it.

That's the job.

That's why they hire you, Steve.

That's your job.

You have to repeat what I said.

Do people think about shoving Jesus in their ass?

It was a good gas.

God damn.

Shouts out to Jeff Goldblin.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

Family Theater's bullshit, though.

You only win $20,000 per game, and there's five of you.

Damn.

The fuck?

$4,000.

After taxes, it's all right, Jeff.

Walk to the podium.

My pleasure.

And he comes out from behind the police

and his pants are completely around his ankles.

He's just nude.

Put your fucking pants up.

I'm sorry.

I didn't notice.

I didn't realize.

I was behind the podium.

I didn't know my penis was out.

Oh, fuck.

Goddamn.

Where's some classic gold bloom flicks?

Jurassic Park.

You got how'd he get famous?

What were Jaws?

No, he wasn't Jaws.

I think we're gonna need a bigger anus.

I think we're gonna

go out to the ocean.

We're gonna try

shoving the shark

into my ass.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, this is Bam Marsh era.

And this is hide things in Jeff Goldblum's ass.

This is off-road put things in Jeff Goldblum's ass.

We got Henry Rollins driving a Humvee while

we shove things into Jeff Goldblum's ass.

It's the original iMac.

This is what I made all the CKY videos on.

Henry Rollins just drives the Jeep directly into his ass.

Dude.

Shout out to Bam.

What are you going to eat after this is over, Nick?

Probably a little peanut butter jelly sandwich.

Respect.

Oh, I love it.

Oh, who let one fly?

Was that you, Adam?

No, that's not me.

That's disgusting, dude.

Nick, that's awful.

It smells like a cat.

It really does.

It smells like a cat.

It's a cat smoking tobacco.

I ate a bunch of bad broccoli yesterday.

You ate bad broccoli.

Yeah, it was slimy, but I figured if I cooked it, it would be fine.

Oh, brutal.

That's awful, man.

That smells really bad, dude.

That's really fucking

funny.

Oh, my God.

You had a second round.

It's lingering.

The lingering right now.

Did you have to?

Did you have to

prevent

you moving the rearview mirror of my car, Adam?

I didn't move it, dude.

Yeah, you did.

My foot hit it accidentally.

Your foot?

Yeah, he has to relax.

You're one of those guys.

He puts it, he gets in my car and just starts kicking the dash like a girl.

You put your feet up.

Yeah.

I like to relax, baby.

It's a fucking 30-minute ride, man.

It was less.

Nick drove so fast on the BQE today.

Actually, if there's no traffic, you can get Nick was doing fucking Gran Torino on the BQE today.

Gran Torino.

Or Gran Turismo.

No, I was doing Gran Torino.

He was doing both.

He was saying speeding Asian.

He was saying Asian slurs.

Yeah.

What's up, Dragon Lady?

What are you spooks up to?

Hell yeah, old man.

Shut up, pussy.

Shut up, you're gay.

Shut up, you fucking pussy.

That movie's so funny.

I want to rewatch.

Yeah.

I ain't never seen Tim.

The supercut of every slur that he says in that movie on YouTube is hilarious.

As if that guy wouldn't just get the fuck beaten out of him immediately.

Right.

Yeah.

He's an old man.

He's in a world where, yeah, we're like some Detroit gangbanger is going to be like, hold up.

That's an old man.

We have to respect him.

He's being racist.

Got to respect our eldest.

Even though in real life, those two would be 11-year-old boys that are 6'3

and both own fully automatic AK-47s.

He would literally just get.

I'm finna kill somebody because it's funny.

Let's kill this old man so we can laugh.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

He gets God immediately.

Of course.

Yeah, he would get straight up one-punch knockout.

Oh, he would get knockout gamed for sure.

Knockout game.

We got to bring that back.

Yeah, and then he would just be the video of it would just be retweeted endlessly by Sunglass Av, you guys.

Being like,

these are the people that you say we shouldn't genocide.

This is who all of them

are

basically orphan gangs

and child soldiers.

Right.

Yeah.

Damn.

Damn, dude.

I'm just thinking about that fart now.

I can't even smell it anymore.

No, you got to let it go, man.

You got to let go and let God.

I feel like I tasted it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was bad.

That's probably

earlier.

I got a little carried away taking out the garbage.

I shoved it all up my arm.

That's kind of what it smells like.

Jeff, are you okay?

Sorry,

I walked past a litter box and I couldn't help but shove all the cat shit up my ass.

And then pretend I'm a kidney cat.

That pisses off the cats.

The cat shows dominance.

A lot of people don't know how to show dominance to a cat.

You've got to take its shit and shove it in your ass.

Show the cat who's boss.

All right, folks.

Well, if you want shirts, check out Come.town.

And we got some new fall sweatshirts coming soon.

Yes, go to sty.biz.

The Can I See Your Penis design is no longer available because I did receive a cease and desist from Scott Stapp.

Did you?

How the fuck is that possible?

I don't know.

Wait, Creed hit you up?

Creed was like, what an honor.

Yeah.

You actually got a cease and desist?

Like just an email or a real letter?

Oh, so I would keep selling them.

You think so?

Yeah, I would see what happens.

What could happen?

Something bad to me?

I mean,

you get sued and then you go to court, but then they would have to, like, I mean, what are they going to sue you for?

Fucking $100?

Can you only...

What do you get sued for?

Whatever you make off the shirts?

Damages, I guess.

Yeah, I guess that's true.

I also don't see...

I don't see a way where they win that case either.

It's parity, right?

I mean, that's up to a judge, I guess, to decide.

Yeah, well, I will argue that can I see your penis?

I mean,

they would embarrass themselves going to court to explain that

it says Creed.

Can I see your penis?

As a fucking five people bought

as a member of the American Bar Association, I'll take that court.

I'll take that case.

It would be funny.

That's the thing.

It would be funny.

Yeah, we got to keep this going, dude.

Fuck.

Honestly.

It would be fun.

And if we start a little rivalry between the show and Scott Stapp from Creed, that would just be perfect.

We need new enemies, you know.

What if it was fake?

What if it wasn't real?

It might have been.

What if it's one of those goddamn trolls?

Yeah, it's from a fucking Yahoo account.

It could have been a troll.

I didn't see actually because it was just my t-shirt guy sent it to me.

Eric Jewishman,

a lawyer at large.

Anyway.

No, apparently, who you need to look out for is Jack Daniels.

I've been told from my, now that I'm a member of the t-shirt community,

yeah, they're apparently very litigious.

Really?

But anytime you go on vacation, you get like a, it says like Atlantic

Boardwalk shit.

Nobody's going around checking that shit.

They're not online.

Right.

But apparently, yeah, like every band that tries to do like a Jack Daniels-inspired thing is immediately fucking shut down.

What a fucking loser.

That Jack Dan Daniels.

Yeah.

All right.

Bye, guys.

All right, later.

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