The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 17

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Speaker 2 hello and welcome to the adam freedland show podcast it's another podcast i'm here with nick

Speaker 2 We're hot on the case of the Joe and Hunter Biden corruption allegations. We have a couple big stories that we're going to break today.
It's such a fun story, dude. It is fun.
It keeps giving. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It keeps giving.

Speaker 2 The latest is Joe Biden's secret emails.

Speaker 2 Who? He was emailing his boyfriend? All these guys have secret emails.

Speaker 2 He would use the names of black women. Really? Yeah, Robin Peters and Robin Ware.

Speaker 2 I don't know if those are black women, necessarily. He had one that was just J apostrophe Biden.

Speaker 2 Joe Biden? Yeah. Oh, wow.
Jabiden Jackson.

Speaker 2 And he would use a voice on the phone, too. Yes, I'm a friend of Hunter's.
Hi, I'm Hunter's best friend. Yeah, hi.
Jabiden.

Speaker 2 Hold on. Let me see if I can figure it out.

Speaker 2 Hey, how are you doing, Honey Trout?

Speaker 2 I tell you, hey, Honey Trout.

Speaker 2 His concept of...

Speaker 2 I mean, the best thing that came out of that corn pop video is his concept of black society

Speaker 2 It's like in 1945's Delaware. Yeah.
Yeah. Honey Trout.
Honey Trout. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I called him up and I said,

Speaker 2 what part of his face does he touch?

Speaker 2 I think it's like, yeah, it's his like nose or his cheek or something. Yeah, he's awesome.

Speaker 2 That's a very subtle detail about the Joe

Speaker 2 that you picked up on it. Honey Trout.

Speaker 2 He is awesome, man. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He is awesome. It's going to be so funny when, like, in 100 years, Joe Biden's going to be, like, one of those presidents, like,

Speaker 2 like...

Speaker 2 Like Johnson? Well, no, like fucking like

Speaker 2 Cormulus T.

Speaker 2 Grumpfeel or whatever. You know, like one of these weird presidents that nobody, like,

Speaker 2 who the fuck is Dingus R. Buckle? A guy that was president for two years

Speaker 2 during the War of 1812. Yeah, yeah.
Martin Van Buren. Van Buren did stuff, though.
What did he do? He had chops. He invented all the furniture in the White House.
Did he?

Speaker 2 Yeah, he came up with Chesterfields. Oh, wow.
Yeah. Wow, Martin.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He was an interior decorator and president. That's pretty cool.
Yeah. Yeah.
I can't wait until we have the first gay president.

Speaker 2 Oh, we're ready, Obama. I know, but the first

Speaker 2 fella, what do you call it? First boy.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 What do you call that?

Speaker 2 I guess just the first husband. Yeah, the first, yeah, the first husband.
It can't be Mayor Pete.

Speaker 2 Mayor Pete is the Republican's version of a gay candidate.

Speaker 2 He is...

Speaker 2 He is the least. He's the gay version of Alan Keyes or Herman King.
He just doesn't have swag. Yeah.
Yes, he is. Exactly.
He is like a... Right.
But he's a less funny.

Speaker 2 He's the kind of guy that if you're

Speaker 2 homophobic, you would point to and be like, I know this guy

Speaker 2 right

Speaker 2 yeah yeah i have gay friends yeah yeah it should be it should be the biker from tom of finland as president and his cop friend is his husband he should just have the biggest lump under his p under his pants yeah if we had president uh uh leather daddy tony the tiger

Speaker 2 if it was a cartoon tiger with a giant dick yeah that would be awesome exactly they want someone that is

Speaker 2 that ticks the box of the our policy towards china would just be show them a picture of the president and then they would capitulate to anything it would be funny if like in the classic politician style like pete like code switches but with you know how like obama would be at a black church and he'd go like real pastor or any he'd be in the south and he'd go like real yeah yeah good old you know i can't wait to get some chicken and waffles yeah yeah

Speaker 2 but if pete did that pete went to the folsom street fair in san francisco and he just completely code switched. Yeah.
But with like still the lack of charisma that he still has.

Speaker 2 Yeah, San Francisco used to serve cunt. Yeah.

Speaker 2 To all the bottoms, the gossips. He's just so much down.
He has so much anger in his lips.

Speaker 2 There's a blackness inside of him. Yeah.
And that's not a race thing. There's a darkness.
There was one debate where you could see him, like his hand behind the stage.

Speaker 2 Well, he hated,

Speaker 2 what's her name, from Minnesota. They hated each other.
She hated Pete. Flo from Progressive? No.

Speaker 2 Oh, the big bitch. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 That lady from Minnesota that was running is like Eccentric. Susan Corpulent.
I don't remember her.

Speaker 2 No, she was a big bitch. Yeah, Susan Corpulent.
And then they were like, yeah, she was a big bit. She's like throwing her staffers through the wall.
Yeah, yeah. She was doing like resting staffers.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was fucking picking them up.

Speaker 2 She was kind of awesome. Yeah.
She was like, Where the hell is my sandwich? She was fucking right through the window.

Speaker 2 You know, I need my sandwich. Yeah, but she never got a cabinet post.
She probably pissed some people off. Yeah, Clawbachar.
Klobuchar, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Amy. Amy Clawbachar.

Speaker 2 Yeah, her whole thing was kitchen table conversational. Who did I meet that liked her? It was exactly the type of woman you'd expect.

Speaker 2 Did you go and cloe? It was somebody's like sister or something. She's like, I was like, I love Bachar, and they were like, That's awesome.
Yeah, you would.

Speaker 2 It sounds like a Pokemon. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Clovichar.

Speaker 2 Oh, man. We really.
It's kind of like Globetrotter. Yes.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like the Japanese

Speaker 2 fuck up translation. Yeah.
Klobuchar. If there was a Harlem Globetrotters video game, then Japanese would be

Speaker 2 Klobuchar.

Speaker 2 Ready, fight! Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it would be Hami Klobuchar. Amy Klobuchar.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she has fire, Hami Fire.

Speaker 2 Hami Klobuchar. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. But she hated Pete, I remember.
She would like stand next to him and be like, I fing can't stand him. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, the two of them have very much like fighting over who's the boss of the class project. Yeah, they're both kind of the same person.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 Different versions. I'm putting my name first.

Speaker 2 I raised my hand first.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I really, we just need these fucking primaries to kick off, dude. I need some good TV again.
Did anyone watch the Republican debate? I think about four people watched.

Speaker 2 There was one? I think so, yeah. There's one coming up.
DeSantis? There's one coming up. I know Trump's not participating.
But what the fuck is the point of a Republican debate at this point?

Speaker 2 I guess because they need a candidate, right? For to run. Yeah, but nobody, like, are there undecided Republicans? I don't pay attention to anything.
I'm sure they're on. I just stereotype people.

Speaker 2 No, we need it for TV because it's a show that we get every four years that we love.

Speaker 2 I just say that, and it's like, I will be watching them. What do they even talk about? I'm going to watch every single one.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 One guy yelling about trans people and the other guy being like, yeah, great, but the vaccines. Yeah, yeah.
You know, and it's like, what does that have to do with the economy? Right, exactly.

Speaker 2 Do they even talk about the economy anymore?

Speaker 2 If they don't let Trump, it's going to be, the ratings are going to be like through the floor. Well, Fox News is like, they're at war with him now.

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 2 Just make peace. Give us what we want.
Because he cost them $750 million.

Speaker 2 He's just awesome, dude. He's an unstoppable force.

Speaker 2 Just destroying Fox News. Destroying American American.
He cost them three-quarters of a billion dollars. Destroying America.
They're Tucker's job. Destroying America.
And their prime time star.

Speaker 2 He just, and also too, it's like

Speaker 2 all the things he does that are bad are just the things career politicians do. He just fucking says that he's doing them.
I know. He's like, I'm going to go rape this bitch real quick.
Yeah. Watch me.

Speaker 2 He's just loud about it. Yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah. He's like, we stole over $2 billion from Saudi Arabia by influence peddling.
It's like, shut up. Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 You're supposed to quote. You just whisper.
They said they want to murder a journalist. I said, give me $2 billion.

Speaker 2 I said,

Speaker 2 give my Heb stepson $2 billion. You can murder whoever you want.
Dude, he...

Speaker 2 We got to get him back. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was crazy that, like,

Speaker 2 when, what's his name, Ariel Pink came on the show, he was like...

Speaker 2 He was like, yeah, Don Jr. He's next up.
He's got the sauce. It's like the worst take I've ever heard.
Right, yeah, there's weird larval man. It was strange, bizarre, like take.

Speaker 2 Which one is the one that looks really fucked up? Eric? No, there's one. The girl? I think it's Don Jr.
Don Jr. is the one that doesn't look like him.

Speaker 2 The other one looks like the fucking failed clone.

Speaker 2 Eric is blonde. Eric is the failed clone.
Yeah, Don Jr. is like

Speaker 2 he's like maroon. You remember that comic Sean

Speaker 2 O'Connor?

Speaker 2 He was like boys with Sean Patton. He was a guy that was like one of the...
He was around. He was he was like on the come up when we moved.

Speaker 2 He's an LA guy, though. Yes.
Yeah. He's this guy.

Speaker 2 I always thought Eric Trump looked exactly like him.

Speaker 2 Maybe a little bit. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think they look similar quality. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He was funny. Yeah, that guy's funny.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, I just like, we need these people back. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, things aren't going to be good. It's like there's no.
No, I mean, it's like, it's. If they're going to be bad, they might as well be fun.
Exactly. Yeah.
We need that. I mean, like,

Speaker 2 it was so awesome.

Speaker 2 It was so funny. I hope January 6th happens again.
I hope Trump runs again, loses, like, by, he gets like 20,000 votes.

Speaker 2 And then he's like, they stole it even harder this time.

Speaker 2 The end of this time, they actually kill Nancy Porst

Speaker 2 and then he's still like,

Speaker 2 it's fine. I don't understand how this is a crime.

Speaker 2 I don't understand what's wrong with him. He doesn't go to jail.

Speaker 2 Oh my god. You think he's going to go to jail?

Speaker 2 I really, I've said it before, but I just, I don't, I really am not paying any attention to it. I'm not.

Speaker 2 Because it's every single time they've told us it's a rap.

Speaker 2 My man slides out. Yeah.
All I care about are these debates. You got to let my man in the debates.
Yeah. You have to let him in there.

Speaker 2 He's a fucking star.

Speaker 2 It's the best show

Speaker 2 that we get every four years.

Speaker 2 We didn't get it last time. I don't want them to ruin our show.

Speaker 2 Because of the pandemic, we didn't really get a lot of him.

Speaker 2 No, but he was working the road. I kind of want to go back to that.
During COVID, he was working the road still. He killed her.
Fucking Herman Cain. He should release her.

Speaker 2 Herman Cain died from what it was.

Speaker 2 he should just release a special he was doing sadiums yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean that video the plastic straws it's like this is just this is this is what stand-up is now a hundred percent yeah yeah yeah plastic forks knives that's all fun the straws they gotta go yeah he's mad at faucets right now he thinks Biden has made all the faucets pussy yeah right yeah yeah he's like there used to be twice as much water like it's just like it is literally the ramblings of like fucking like and well, it's stand-up comedy, it's stand-up comedy, it's a false premise, and then not even with your own false premise, a deliberate misunderstanding, a deliberate misunderstanding of your own false premise of your own false premise.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's that's all stand-up comedy is.

Speaker 2 And your guys love it.

Speaker 2 His guys just love it, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, he was doing fucking like 50,000-person

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 2 speeches peak COVID, killed Herman Keynes. Yeah, like

Speaker 2 so awesome.

Speaker 2 So awesome.

Speaker 2 Everyone was at home in their apartments tweeting about how this is so stressful

Speaker 2 and how this is so unfair to me.

Speaker 2 Trump is like literally, yeah, you had like fucking like journalists, Twitter people just like stressing out about like being around their kids and not getting any peace and quiet.

Speaker 2 And this guy's just living his dreams as the last comedian in America. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's pretty awesome. Yeah, dude, he fucking

Speaker 2 we could get him in those debates again i i want to go back and watch the few debates that did happen from 2020 because it's mostly just trump saying

Speaker 2 all this hunter biden stuff

Speaker 2 that is now true oh in the debate yeah i thought that he went

Speaker 2 well he did mention it he's like yeah hunter man they only debated once he's like hunter but wasn't it twice biden got the facelift and then they like pumped him full of the adrenochrome Yeah, and then he came out hot.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He was like, shh, will you ever shut up, man? Yeah, yeah, that was that was a big line.
Yeah. Yeah.
Biden like had like one last job.

Speaker 2 He really just like

Speaker 2 his brain is just like they should let them both be president. I would love it.
Yeah. I would love it.
We should have it be like

Speaker 2 ancient Rome. You know where they had two

Speaker 2 emperors? Yeah, it was the what was the triumvirate it was three guys right I think I I don't know this is mostly based off the T V show I don't know

Speaker 2 where Magnus Pompey and Julius Caesar were the two guys at the time and Julius Caesar was at war and

Speaker 2 the senate was like

Speaker 2 conniving to take

Speaker 2 yeah they were like Caesar spent too much money for his war in Gaul Caesar was gone for twelve years and he comes back and uh that's when they they uh

Speaker 2 wait no that has to be after because that was well they killed they killed Caesar yeah I don't know but I thought there were two guys or there was a or maybe it was fucking

Speaker 2 I think after Caesar was three guys they had a senate and then they had

Speaker 2 the emperor

Speaker 2 but prior to that there were two because at the start it was Romulus and Penis

Speaker 2 Romulus Penis Triumbrite because there's two balls and one yeah it was a dick and two balls yeah yeah that really should be how And all them were like, I'm the dick. How funny?

Speaker 2 That's how society was structured. And you were like, there is no such thing as the patriarchy.

Speaker 2 Well, we elect a penis. That's just a name.
It's just a title. And then he has two, the testicles.
It's just a title. Yeah.
Testicle Biden. This question is about the economy.

Speaker 2 You have been eating your own cum, which a lot of people are excited about.

Speaker 2 Yes, I have. We love Biden.
I love Biden. We should put it in the freezer.
They just don't let him speak enough. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's just, he's awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They like wheel him out every two months. But when he does speak, it's perfect.
They're like,

Speaker 2 yeah, there's a video of your son fucking a seven-year-old girl and holding up a check that says to Joe and Hunter Biden from The Joker of Ukraine.

Speaker 2 What are your comments on this? It's like, I love ice cream. Yeah.

Speaker 2 When I was a kid, I love a big old, nothing better than a waffle cone. You ever hear about a waffle cone?

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 All right. See you later, man.
I do think functionally he is the best president of our lifetime. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think kind of. And what do you mean? In a way.

Speaker 2 He got out of Afghanistan the longest way. He then started Ukraine.
Well,

Speaker 2 it's like Afghanistan ended to start Ukraine. We're just flipping weapons.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 We're not fucking like sending people.

Speaker 2 ending Afghanistan good if it's not immediately followed by another war. Listen,

Speaker 2 we gotta sell guns. Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 2 That's one of our main businesses. Speaking of selling guns, I am super excited to attend the new Taylor Swift concert.
No, so. You're selling guns in the lot?

Speaker 2 I'm purchasing guns, which is unrelated to attending the new Taylor Swift.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 Taylor Swift.

Speaker 2 I'm excited to see Taylor Swift with my brand new gun.

Speaker 2 And I've been looking to find the best deal on Taylor Swift tickets. And the way to do that

Speaker 2 is going on Seat Geek. Seat Geek.
I actually use it a lot. And guess what, guys? It's not for fucking nerds.
It's for cool people. Yeah, I know.
I don't know why they chose the name Seat Geek. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's not for you. You think you're like, what is this, a nerd app? To go to what? The furry convention? No.
You could actually go to cooler shifts. Which there was, there was, you were right.

Speaker 2 There was a separate furry convention other than the LGBT NGLCC convention. There was an LGBT Chamber of Commerce event at our hotel.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And they were throwing. Well, that was in the, that was massive.
That was huge. Well, because that's cast such a wide net.
Any business that a gay person works at,

Speaker 2 that's got to be every business. Yeah, it's gay to have a business.
Well, no, I mean, there's got to be at least one.

Speaker 2 Gay person. At any business? Yeah.
Well, I think it's about gay owner.

Speaker 2 Maybe gay owner, anyways.

Speaker 2 That was a massive thing, but I saw a couple of furries there, and I thought, oh, these are that's the type of gang that's for the Chamber of Commerce, that's for the Chamber of Commerce.

Speaker 2 I thought it was, but the NGN,

Speaker 2 whatever the fuck it is, NGLCC thing, that ended, and there were still furries around. Yes, yeah.
It was a, we were talking about our hotel in Denver this weekend.

Speaker 2 It was a mixture of us, people in town for a uh,

Speaker 2 what's his name? Uh,

Speaker 2 Ed

Speaker 2 Sheeran concert and furries and the LGBT channels. All four types of gay people were represented.
Us. Ed Sheeran fans.
Yes. Us fans.
Us fans.

Speaker 2 Furries and regular gay business fans. I got to say, the vibes were good.
Yeah. The vibes were really good.
It was very positive. That might have been the gayest weekend of all time.

Speaker 2 It was. I didn't even have to do any such thing.
Better than that all guys cruise that Steven found. Did you see that website?

Speaker 2 The guys-only cruise? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Dude, they had a frequently asked questions section on that website, and one of the top questions was, do I have to be jacked to go on the cruise?

Speaker 2 Do I have to be fucking ripped to go on the cruise? What would they say? No. They're like, well, it says the answer is very funny, bud.
And it's like, what do you mean, very? You wrote the question.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's the question to yourself. Yeah, yeah.
It's a rhetorical. Yes.

Speaker 2 Ha ha. Anyways, there you go again, Adam.

Speaker 2 This weekend, if you were going to Denver, you could have used SeatGeek to go to any one of the four gay events they were having in Denver. Yes, especially the Nick Mullen show.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And, oh, just as an aside, this weekend, the 24th to the 25th,

Speaker 2 I'm in Washington, D.C. I had so much fun doing the special, I don't even want to release it.
Why? Because it's, you know, I'd rather have it, you know, this is why I don't take pictures either.

Speaker 2 Well, I have to tell you something. I'm paying Steven to edit my feature.
Then I'm going to release it before you. And I'm going to say

Speaker 2 full special Adam Friedland. If anyone copies after this,

Speaker 2 so maybe I'll prohibit you, you know? So the worm has learned to make its own webs. The worm is eating its ass.

Speaker 2 The worm eats its own ass. Ah, so the worm eats its own ass.
I see. At Seat Geek.
At Seat Geek. At Seat Geek.
I actually just used SeatGeek, guys. I went to a New York Mets.

Speaker 2 Well, Well, real quick, let's say this.

Speaker 2 Go ahead. Today's video is sponsored by Seat Geek.
Thank you. With over 28 million downloads.
Seat Geek is the number.

Speaker 2 You know what Seat Geek would be a good name for? Stephen Hawking.

Speaker 2 I feel like it's the end to star awards. Yeah, well, because, you know, I feel like Princess Leia is about to give you a medal.
Oh, yeah. Wow.
I mean, it was right there.

Speaker 2 You know, he's just fucking in a wheelchair. We're just having fun, bro.
We're just having fun. Yeah.

Speaker 2 This video is sponsored by SeatGeek with over 28 million downloads. I'm so brain damaged for making Holocaust jokes that anytime I see any number of million, I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't like the kids.

Speaker 2 Yeah, right, literally. It's just

Speaker 2 brain damage. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app.

Speaker 2 There are more than 70,000 events every every single day on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, and more, like the furry convention. Maybe, maybe not.
Maybe.

Speaker 2 I would maybe. Yeah, maybe.
That's more.

Speaker 2 Okay, so talk about a live event you have attended or excited to attend. That's you.
You did. You went to a Mets game.
I went to a Mets game.

Speaker 2 And you didn't invite me.

Speaker 2 You were...

Speaker 2 Lies.

Speaker 2 I was with Tommy and Phil. Lies.

Speaker 2 You just didn't invite me. You went to Chappelle at MSG last night, didn't invite me.
And you were like, whoa, you were making dinner. You didn't even fucking.
Of course I was making dinner.

Speaker 2 There was no plan. I got you seats for tonight.
We have to. We're excited to get this fucking episode done with.
We're finishing the episode. The next episode.
The chat is.

Speaker 2 Oh, we already announced it. Oh, no.
I said it in Denver. You said it.
You've been telling everybody.

Speaker 2 I said it in Denver because I wanted to give them a little special treat for coming to your special. All right.

Speaker 2 Anyways. Well, now everyone gets a special treat.

Speaker 2 We're going to finish the episode today. Hopefully it'll be out beginning of the next video.
The delay has mostly been

Speaker 2 wanting to make the do bigger things than we can, which is now further complicated by the strikes and casting people and stuff. Right.

Speaker 2 We're going to have to do a dialed-down version, which sucks because that's my only contribution to the show anymore. No, it's not.

Speaker 2 I mean, it literally is. The interview is going to be great.
The interview, we're very happy with. The intro is very good, too.

Speaker 2 We have to do it today. Anyways, it'll be.
We're doing it today. I'll tell you this.

Speaker 2 All you have to say is

Speaker 2 it's not about production value or anything like that.

Speaker 2 Good or bad, it'll be fun.

Speaker 2 Oh, you were in Chicago when I went to the Mets game? No.

Speaker 2 I think you were. No.
Oh, no. You were in Maryland.

Speaker 2 You're now scanning through a schedule trying to peg this Mets game that you're more Metsvo. You did not invite me to for any excuse as to why I was not invited.

Speaker 2 I should have invited you.

Speaker 2 What do you think? Going to see grandma in the hospital, Mets game. Which one am I going to pick? Mets game.
Obviously. Would have been way better than going to your hospital.

Speaker 2 And you didn't even fucking

Speaker 2 offer.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 you're with your family.

Speaker 2 That doesn't count. The hospital doesn't count.
The hospital counts as family. I was looking for any excuse to get out of that.

Speaker 2 I tried to put myself in the hospital. And here would have been a good excuse.
I could have given it to you. Adam got three tickets for $40 each.
Guess what?

Speaker 2 Face value when I when I downloaded the tickets, they were $100 tickets.

Speaker 2 I got a great deal on SeatGeek. And guess what? The way you get a great deal on SeatGeek is that they rank every single one of the deals.
So it's on a scale of like 10. So that deal was like a 9.8.

Speaker 2 So they were like, listen, you fucker, buy these tickets right now. Otherwise, you're an idiot.

Speaker 2 Yes, I actually got the tickets on Sword Buyers Guide magazine, which gave it a rating of Buy Now, which is practically their highest rating. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 It is very convenient. I've used it a ton of times.
I've gone to NYX games on SeatGeek. It's pretty much if I'm getting tickets for a live event, I use SeatGeek.

Speaker 2 That's not even because they're sponsoring us today. It's just very convenient.

Speaker 2 It's got to be better than Ticketmaster, which is... Yeah, there's

Speaker 2 Ticketmaster?

Speaker 2 Isn't the government constantly like, I ain't paying this for Lana Dale Ray?

Speaker 2 But we're going to take you to the cleaner, son. I think Ticketmaster is in trouble for the Lizzo thing, though.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 2 The tickets should be called Ticket Slave is how I feel with these price.

Speaker 2 With these fucking prices. That's true.

Speaker 2 The fees.

Speaker 2 the fees talk about live event the mets game you did that and we're excited to go see wanna del ray through seat geek show big fans we're big to show the app on your phone and scrolling adam if you want to pull that up don't

Speaker 2 adam will be pulling up the app on his phone and scrolling i don't know if our cameras can cover that what but adam did genuinely all of these advertisers are like oh you have to have like a personal endorsement and truth be told 95 of the time, I'm like, I can't get enough of this soap for your asshole, guys, asshole soap.

Speaker 2 And there's no way, it's not coming out of the packaging. I'm not using that shit.
Let me find this app. But he really did use SeatGeek.
That is a genuine personal endorsement.

Speaker 2 It's good for Mets games. I really don't know how to buy tickets for stuff.
So this would be, this one's good for me because it seems like the only option.

Speaker 2 Okay, the Nationals are coming to visit the Yankees, right? Mm-hmm. Starting at $2.

Speaker 2 I can get Grand Sand level tickets,

Speaker 2 $2.

Speaker 2 Yeah, on See Geek. I'm not going to go.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so you go see

Speaker 2 a Yankees game for $2. $2.

Speaker 2 Artists. And that's ranked at 9.2-level deal.
Yeah, artists

Speaker 2 like Drake, the 1975, and the Jonas Brothers and Beyonce are on tour, and you don't want to miss that. 1975,

Speaker 2 enemy of the show.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 he's our friend. Oh, is he? Oh, that's right.
Yes, he is our friend. Enemy is on the front.
The enemy is. I mix that up.
I am not excited to see.

Speaker 2 I am not excited to see Taylor Show. I'm excited to see the 1975

Speaker 2 via Seat Geek and not Taylor Swift. But yeah, 1975.
Go see Maddie. Or you could be like us, and we could fucking call him.
We're going to be like, hey. Should we call him Richard?

Speaker 2 It's your good friend. Can we just go see your show for free? For free? And he'll say, you know what? You might as well use SeatGeek because it'll be an even better deal.

Speaker 2 A better deal using SeatGeek than free. Better than free.
Better than free. Which wasn't that

Speaker 2 close. Everybody wants to be closer to free.
What is that?

Speaker 2 Everybody wants to be.

Speaker 2 Everybody. You know that song from the 90s that was just in everything?

Speaker 2 Oh, it's like Mighty, Mighty Bosto.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 isn't it? Yeah, what is that song? I never had to knock on it. Everybody want,

Speaker 2 everybody too. You know that fucking song? Gonna

Speaker 2 write out of here.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 No, no.

Speaker 2 Everybody wants to be. Everybody wants to be.
Mama.

Speaker 2 Just kill the man.

Speaker 2 No, stop, stop.

Speaker 2 It's rude to do that. When someone's trying to remember a song and you're saying other songs.

Speaker 2 No, when you're doing, to do that closer to free song by bow deans

Speaker 2 how do you know all this kind of crap because i was alive for these years

Speaker 2 oh they got a sketch at the beginning of the music video

Speaker 2 what is what is it's party of maybe it was the party of five theme songs dude that was too mature for me what is it what is if yeah party of five was such a depressing show Someone gets cancer?

Speaker 2 No, it's like both their parents die and then the older brother has to raise them. That's kind of cute.
Yeah, I don't know. It's about family resilience.

Speaker 2 But every episode was like, we don't have any money, so we're going to have to wear flannel. We're going to have to wear.
We're going to have to be grunged style.

Speaker 2 We're going to have to burn the flannel.

Speaker 2 What does it mean if our friend sends me this gif and it's our friend who's telling me that I was embarrassing all last time? Hold on. Shane is saying it.
Yeah, what does this gif mean?

Speaker 2 The morning after gif.

Speaker 2 Shane sent us? He just sent me that.

Speaker 2 This is like an aunt. It's like someone

Speaker 2 that's like

Speaker 2 really into the office.

Speaker 2 Today's episode is brought to you by SeatGeek and Party of Five.

Speaker 2 Anyways, you know that song.

Speaker 2 What do you think? What does this mean? I don't know, but that is like, that's like a fucking

Speaker 2 HR manager at the car dealer that sends sex. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 What is Shane typing on his phone? Puppies question?

Speaker 2 Puppy's question mark? Puppy question mark, Jim. Should we call him and get to the bottom of it? No, we got to finish this reading.
Oh, see, Keek.

Speaker 2 So if you want artists like Drake, the 1975, the Jonas Brothers, which are people still... Who's...
The Jonas Brothers fans got to be 37 years old at this point.

Speaker 2 I told you that Brandon Wardell brought over...

Speaker 2 the youngest brother, the one that's not in the band,

Speaker 2 and he stormed out of my house

Speaker 2 out of disgust for me. Why? I offended him.
How?

Speaker 2 I said two things.

Speaker 2 I thought he was trying to remember Jonas Brothers songs and you were doing Bobby. I said, I was like, when you were like a kid, you ever get like.

Speaker 2 Did you ever get like. You asked him if he was molested.
No, no, no. I was like, well, you're like, yeah, he was offended.

Speaker 2 I was like, did you ever like. He walked out of my house.
This guy who was most likely. I was like, do you ever get chicks

Speaker 2 from your brothers being famous? And he was like, that's actually a really offensive question. Yeah.
It's like, not a, it's just a stupid question. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then

Speaker 2 I think

Speaker 2 someone said the, the, the bad, the R about mentally handicapped people.

Speaker 2 And then he like got really mad. And he was like, my brothers have done so much work with the make-a-wish.
My brothers, the Jonas Brothers.

Speaker 2 And you know what? They're still not better. So

Speaker 2 good job. Thanks, Jonas Brothers.
He got really, really mad.

Speaker 2 You've done absolutely nothing to cure. Yeah.
There's no, I don't think there is anything. He just sang at them.
They just sang at those.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're right. And I don't think make-a-wish is for that.
I think it's done more illness. You know who's done more for them than anybody? Nabisco.

Speaker 2 That company has done so much for that community. And where's the thanks?

Speaker 2 So their youngest brother, Brandon, brought him over and he got really mad about those two things.

Speaker 2 And then he was like, you know what? I'm going to go. And I was like, all right, dude.

Speaker 2 Thanks, Brandon, for bringing this fucking

Speaker 2 guy. That's cool.
Well, luckily, you're never going to see his name on Seed Geek. No.
Because he's the one, he's the serious.

Speaker 2 He's the serious man. The serious really.
He's an academic. Yeah.
Should we start a boy group called the Serious Brothers? Like a Tears for Fears kind of thing?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Look at me right now. I'm being serious.

Speaker 2 I really like that. Okay, let's finish this reading.
All right, yeah. Artists like Drake, 1975, Jonas Brother, Beyonce on Tour.
You don't want to miss that. Okay,

Speaker 2 so here's what they do. They put all the tickets across the web in one place to make sure you're getting a good deal.
So it's sort of like,

Speaker 2 you know, it's like aggregate.

Speaker 2 Right? Is that the word for it? Yeah, yeah. So you make sure you're getting a good deal.
Each ticket is rated on a scale one to 10. So you said that already.
So look for the green dots.

Speaker 2 Green means good. Red means bad.
Now, I don't understand what's why would they say something being sold on their website is bad, though? Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, it's also, I guess it's so you can get comparison. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Say, look, it feels good to be like.

Speaker 2 I'm sure they did a lot of research and they said, look, you know, obviously what we're selling is the best ticket prices. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So we want to put those there, but if you put the bad ticket prices next to it, then

Speaker 2 psychologically, you get an under

Speaker 2 Every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And SeatGeek is the only site that lets you return your tickets ahead of the event with swaps.

Speaker 2 And swaps is in capital letters, so I'm sure that's a proprietary type of thing.

Speaker 2 Ticket swap. Swap technology.
Swap technology. Yeah.
They've got swap technology, yes. Yeah.
And they've got deal rating technology. Yeah, so let's say you bought tickets to Taylor Swift, right?

Speaker 2 And then...

Speaker 2 What's that?

Speaker 2 He said he was going to bring gum.

Speaker 2 Let's say you bought tickets to Taylor Swift. He said it

Speaker 2 two days days before the Taylor Swift concert, you see her fan base engaging in anti-Semitism, homophobia.

Speaker 2 And you say,

Speaker 2 I can't, I don't worry about that. I don't know if I can support this.

Speaker 2 So instead, I'm going to see the 1975.

Speaker 2 Then you find

Speaker 2 a woman on, yeah, the 1975. That stands for

Speaker 2 like instead of paying $20.

Speaker 2 You got a deal? Fuck. What's wrong with you? I don't know.
I keep...

Speaker 2 I got something in my throat.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you find a Taylor Swift fan who is like, well, I don't want to support anti-Inuit

Speaker 2 or whatever. And she has 1975 tickets.
You guys do the swap. You do the swap.
You guys see the other one. And then in a meeting up, I'm assuming all the swaps happen in real life.
It just gives you...

Speaker 2 You do an exchange under a bridge.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you click, I want to swap. Do you have this stuff? Do you actually?

Speaker 2 And then it gives you a parking garage and sets a time like 2 a.m. And you're like, I'll be holding a red rose.
Right, please show up in a Dodge Dynasty with the seats in a briefcase from 1970.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. And then you can swap them.
And then you meet the loved ones. And you meet a girl.
Yeah, you meet a girl. Yeah.
Do the red rose thing. That's how I met my girlfriend.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That was wild that there were like three articles. Maybe there was only one.
There were like... A new type of relationship.
Adam Friedland Show, boyfriend, Taylor Swift, girlfriend. I'm like,

Speaker 2 does everything now just need to be

Speaker 2 like viewed through the lens of like

Speaker 2 memeified

Speaker 2 everybody, everybody has to fit into a emergent meme always.

Speaker 2 It can't just be a thing that happened.

Speaker 2 I think it's cool. Okay, all right, whatever.
That's a cool sounds cool. Okay, well, then I will go fuck myself.
No, you don't have to go fuck yourself.

Speaker 2 How would you even do that? The worm. The worm eats its its own ass.

Speaker 2 Every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. I said that already.
All right, so, and you know I came through for you guys. Use my code TAFS for $20 off tickets at SeatGeek.

Speaker 2 So that means go to SeatGeek right now. Use promo code TAFS.
They will pay you $18 to go see a Yankees game. It's, come on.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Come on.
Do you not like free? I don't know if that's really how it works, but, you know. I guess if it's $20 off and it's less than $20.

Speaker 2 Well, how about $20 off tickets? Buy 10 tickets to the Yankees game and it's free. Get 10 free Yankees game tickets.
You get 10 for $2, yes. Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 Go to SeatGeek.com. That's a much better deal.
Right now, if you go to SeatGeek.com and use promo code TAFS, you can get 10 take you and nine of your friends. If you get the $2 tickets.

Speaker 2 You get the $2 tickets. Yeah.
10 of those. Yeah.
And

Speaker 2 I know what you're going to say next. I don't have friends.
Right. Right?

Speaker 2 Guess what? Legroom. Yeah.
you're gonna be relaxing, use a whole row. You can have diarrhea in your pants, it's like you have your own row at the on the fucking plane.

Speaker 2 You do three seats here, three seats here, three in the back, three on the other side, and then you have uh, you just you have diaphragm in the chair and you just wink at the women around you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, uh, welcome to the diarrhea zone. Yeah, I create my own box.
Bring your own plexiglass and create your own sky box at the Yankees game, yeah, and then you just suffocate in there, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 2 then and then you they'll put you in

Speaker 2 Monument Row. In fact, what you can do is you go to the Yankees game, per the contract, it says you bought seats.
Yes. Right? Not tickets, you buy seats.
Bring a socket and ratchet set.

Speaker 2 Take the seat with you from Yankees Stadium. I think there was nothing in the rule book list.
When they stop you, point to the contract. I paid for a seat.

Speaker 2 It's got the number on it. The number corresponds to my ticket.

Speaker 2 You want to take this to the fucking Attorney General's office? Let's take it to the fucking attorney. Is that what you want? Because I know Loretta.
You know her? I know Loretta. Is that still her?

Speaker 2 Lynch? Loretta Lynch.

Speaker 2 Unfortunate name.

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Speaker 2 Everybody wants to. Okay, so that was technically, we got to figure out how to speed that up because that was technically a...
How many more reads do we have? that was a 23-minute long read.

Speaker 2 That's awesome.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? You wanted to say more shit about Hunter? This is fun. If we have another read,

Speaker 2 that one will adjust. That one would need to stop.
And we'll adjust. Yeah, 10 minutes ago.
11 minutes ago. Well, we can space them out.
Yeah, yeah. I guess.
We could put that in slot four.

Speaker 2 Yeah, right. You know,

Speaker 2 which is at what

Speaker 2 48 minutes?

Speaker 2 Then we could cruise. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 It's dead. Yeah, it's dead.

Speaker 2 Well, show's over, folks. Show's fucking over.

Speaker 2 What do you mean by that text? What? The puppies? I have no idea. Just ignore them.
He just kept saying I was embarrassing him last night. Just ignore it.

Speaker 2 Who gives a fuck?

Speaker 2 Who cares what he thinks? It doesn't matter. Well, I wanted Dave Schmell to think up.
Cool. I don't know.
Did you say something? Let me see the exchange. Because you only showed me.

Speaker 2 You just text me that. And then I said, no, I said LOL again.
And then I said, was it that bad? Give me the phone. Let's see here.

Speaker 2 He texted me this morning. Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 The puppies mean. Yeah, let's see if we can get his Jiffy back.

Speaker 2 There we go. I'm sending him this.
What are you going to send him? Alright.

Speaker 2 There we go. Pokemon? No, you got it.
Now you're even.

Speaker 2 I'm going to say. It's Pikachu saying haters going to hate.

Speaker 2 That's cute. He looks really cute in that, actually.
Pikachu? Pikachu.

Speaker 2 You ever date a girl like that? A Pikachu? Where she can only say her own name? In different intonations?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Jesse Ka!

Speaker 2 No, but I did see a field trip. Jesse Kai! A field trip of mentally disabled adults going to Cinnabon this week.
Pikachu style, guys?

Speaker 2 I don't know. They're mentally disabled people.
I feel like

Speaker 2 I would love a job like that. Maybe not adults.
To be like a, what? Like a

Speaker 2 field trip guy. A field trip guy.
The dream job for me, and I think I've said this on the show, is working at like a

Speaker 2 like a like a like a woodland kind of education center. Yeah, Park Ranger.

Speaker 2 No, not Park Ranger, but schools bring field trips.

Speaker 2 I live there. It's like probably 500 acres, and there's hiking trails, and there's like,

Speaker 2 you know they have like like rescue animals and you know I don't work on the animals I'm just the field trip guy so I can go around I can be like this is

Speaker 2 this is actually an Italian owl so it lives off spaghetti or I thought and now it's in the hospital oh you'd be funny about it

Speaker 2 I thought it I thought it ate spaghetti and this actually was just an owl so would it be actual education it would be it would be actual education I'd have fun there'd be balloon animals and shit I'd fucking I'd have fun with it dude the owl is an italian i would love to be i would be like a do like a bill nye thing and be out in the woods and you wouldn't be allowed there so none of your like but so what what is this none of that attitude why can't i go i would take my family

Speaker 2 you'd be like no i'd take my family to see my old friend first of all you know you he's a he he he devoted himself to like a noble cause you would be you would be allowed to come to the nature the the area whatever you call that a reserve preserve

Speaker 2 whatever the fuck you call a big wooded area where you go on field trips and they have animals do you have event space

Speaker 2 I don't know but people can book out

Speaker 2 because I'm going to book my wedding there would be no overlap and you'd have to attend there would be no overlap between the field trips and your presence because of your biting comments seeking to undermine

Speaker 2 the one thing I found

Speaker 2 where I feel like I'm actually contributing something

Speaker 2 no what are you talking about you could come you could come hang out but you are not you are not going to be privy to that. But I wouldn't tell them that you're a bad field shooter.

Speaker 2 You'd be sitting there snickering the entire time, acting like a fucking asshole. You're not coming.
You're not coming. You think I'm a.

Speaker 2 You're not coming on the field shooter. Do people think I'm an asshole?

Speaker 2 More of like a snake than an asshole. Yeah, I get that sneaky snake.
Yeah, you're a asshole. That's like a...
That's like a...

Speaker 2 Anti-Semitism, though. No.
An asshole is a guy that kind of like, you know, he's addicted to people, but he gets his way. You're sort of like...

Speaker 2 Yesterday, Brace was telling me I'm rude yesterday. I ran in.
He lives in my neighborhood. You are rude.
He's like, yeah, well, you're rude. You are rude.
I'm nice to my friends.

Speaker 2 You're

Speaker 2 like, you're very aloof. You don't listen to people.
I'm just, that, I'm just,

Speaker 2 that's just me like being in my own head. That's being up my own head.
That's what's called being selfish is. No, but aloof is more like you don't merit listening.
No. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 It's like the criticism that,

Speaker 2 what was it?

Speaker 2 I'm going to kill myself, dude. I'm going to kill myself.

Speaker 2 What the hell are we going to do? What's the big... Orson Welles is his criticism of, was it Woody Allen?

Speaker 2 He shit on Woody Allen. He's like, yeah, I hate this.

Speaker 2 I hate this kind of guy. The like false modesty, neurotic guy.
He's like, that's just masking like

Speaker 2 just outsize narcissism. The guy that's like, oh, you know, kind of down down on himself.
You know.

Speaker 2 He said that about Woody. He said about Woody, yeah.
But the movies are funny.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sure. Whatever.
I watched The Player again last night. We love it.
It's a great movie. We love it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's that era, that era of the Spago era of old Hollywood.

Speaker 2 The Armani power suit era, early 90s. You know what's interesting? So The Player came out in 1992.

Speaker 2 Studios. We were talking about the swing revival being

Speaker 2 ushered.

Speaker 2 Yes. So, player came out in 1992.
And we were talking about the swing revival being ushered in by the movie The Mask and then blown out by Swingers, which was 1995,

Speaker 2 perhaps. Swingers? And the Mask 1994.

Speaker 2 Player 1992.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I learned learned that the player, the

Speaker 2 production design was like

Speaker 2 specifically meant to evoke the 1930s, but not in like an oppressive way. So I always thought watching it that this was just like a straight-on like interpretation of contemporary fashion in 1992.

Speaker 2 You know, but it wasn't actually. It was like specifically designed to evoke like that 1930s stuff.

Speaker 2 So it might even have been the player that sort of ushered in this like uh 1930s big suit kind of deco or people dressed like that though already prior to that i think so that those big suits because these are all custom made my theory my theory is this yeah it is the the suits got big and society followed as the suits got bigger it was the the hand fit the glove

Speaker 2 or the glove fit the hand i don't i don't know what what that means really but they they were like damn look at how big these suits is getting they were like we better get back into

Speaker 2 like zoot suit riot that's what i'm saying but it was i guess it was the player that ushered in the big suits which then ushered in the swing revival two years later so it was led initially by

Speaker 2 the player is responsible for the mask is what i'm saying

Speaker 2 yeah so robert altman sort of created

Speaker 2 jim carrot's character the mask the mask And then swingers. Yeah, he should have done the mask.
Robert Altman? Yeah, that's right. Everyone's talking about him.
That's sick, yeah.

Speaker 2 Dude, that movie is so good the player yeah wait how who's sending the letters what's the answer at the end of the movie you never see you never see who it is no no no it's uh what's it mcguffin or something mcguffin

Speaker 2 gins what do you mean mcguffin ginsberg mcguffin mcguffin is the name of the guy sending the letters no macuffin is like uh it's like you the entire movie you're like expecting to find something out and you never do.

Speaker 2 Hitchcock did it a lot. Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I didn't know. Is it McGuffin?

Speaker 2 Yeah. McGuffin.
Yeah, I didn't. Well, you sort of do, but only over the phone.

Speaker 2 At the end of the movie,

Speaker 2 so you think he finally gets called in for the police lineup, and then the witness identifies the cop, Lil Lovett. And then they just end up having to drop it.

Speaker 2 And then it cuts to a year later, and the movie within the movie is coming out. Right.
And his dispute with,

Speaker 2 like, what's his name?

Speaker 2 Peter Gallagher's character never really goes anywhere. The movie ends up being success, but he gets promoted higher in the company since he originated the idea.
He had nothing to do with it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. His

Speaker 2 ex-girlfriend, the only person that he has. Who gets promoted? Tim Robbins, though.
Tim Robbins is.

Speaker 2 His ex-girlfriend, who's the only person at the beginning of the movie that he seems to have any kind of meaningful emotional relationship with. She gets fired and he leaves her to fuck the woman

Speaker 2 whose boyfriend he murdered. And then...

Speaker 2 And then it just, it's him going back home to see her and she's pregnant.

Speaker 2 He gets a phone call from he's like, yeah, I got a story before you're about a shithead exec who he's getting harassed by a writer. So he thinks he confronts somebody, murders the wrong guy.

Speaker 2 And then he's like, so now the rest of the story is, you know, blackmail and, you know, worried about it.

Speaker 2 And then he goes, he goes, but there's a surprise twist. He's like, what's the twist? He's like, he gets away with it.
And he's like, can you guarantee me that ending? He's like, yeah.

Speaker 2 And he's like, if you can give me a deal, he's like, yeah, we got a deal if you can guarantee me that ending. He's like, great, yeah, we'll do it.

Speaker 2 And then he just goes home to the wife who's pregnant. So he just buys his way out of the.

Speaker 2 That's awesome. Yeah, but it wraps up in like two seconds.
That's awesome. Yeah, it's a great thing.
It's like a single punchline. It's like a movie.

Speaker 2 It builds to one punchline. Yeah, player's great.
You know, it'd be a good

Speaker 2 double feature. You'd need like 12 hours to do it, but that and shortcuts.
I kind of always associate.

Speaker 2 Another Altman movie, yeah. Like using the

Speaker 2 Southern California action. Actually, I thought of this.
You know what would be a very good double feature is Star Wars and New Hope and the other one. Star Wars 1 and 2.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I was thinking about that the other day.

Speaker 2 What an interesting double feature that would be.

Speaker 2 The Gold Member and the Spy Who Shaggy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What an interesting sort of pairing that would be.

Speaker 2 An apertif and

Speaker 2 a vicious soie, the way they...

Speaker 2 I do think it would be a vicious soie.

Speaker 2 Sort of the interplay. So you agree that it would be a vicious soie? Yes.
Sort of the interplay between, you know,

Speaker 2 you're not. I'm not liking Friedland.

Speaker 2 I'm not liking that.

Speaker 2 I thought, you know what would be an interesting... You broke the mug.
An interesting combination of films

Speaker 2 would be...

Speaker 2 You know what I thought would be interesting is

Speaker 2 both LA movies

Speaker 2 in the same era. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that would be a fantastic double feature. It's probably already one of the Criterion channels, like pre-programmed double features.

Speaker 2 I'd probably copy it. Yeah, you probably copied it.
I probably copied it. Yeah.
But it was just like the movies of Robert Alvin. Yeah, it's not even like a double feature.

Speaker 2 You broke the mug, you fucking bastard.

Speaker 2 Yes, you did. Look at these shards.
Whatever, we got a vacuum. We got gear, dude.
I don't know. My mic pack?

Speaker 2 Look at this. It's destroyed.
how am i gonna drink out of this i don't know how am i gonna drink out of this i don't know i don't know what you want me to say

Speaker 2 dude we have this is like insurance we have like there's liabilities i don't know i don't understand business but yeah we still got the other mug and it's you probably really shouldn't be giving these mugs to guests because they don't get cleaned

Speaker 2 What they're going to put in the dishwasher when they get home?

Speaker 2 We had a 97-year-old guest in here.

Speaker 2 First of all, there is no dishwasher. You go to the bathroom and run it under the sink.
Don't tell the guests that. Don't offer them stuff.

Speaker 2 You've had legit senior ass citizens on this fucking show.

Speaker 2 And when I see, who is it that was like coughing? They're like, oh, I just need a little bit of water and they're drinking out of it. I'm like, you're going to fucking.
Douglas Levinson, dude.

Speaker 2 No, there was more than that. That was Douglas Levinson.
There were two guys on.

Speaker 2 The combined age of the two of them is 275 years old. Those were pre-existing conditions.
Yeah, I don't know. Those weren't mug issues.
You should be the only one drinking out of the fucking mug.

Speaker 2 If the guest wants a cough, he can run down.

Speaker 2 Where did that come from? He was on my foot, a shard. Oh, all right.
I thought it somehow wound up up there. Oh, no, that was a trick dude.
Yeah. That was very

Speaker 2 mind freak. Oh, I mind freaked you.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 you know, you know why they call him mind freak.

Speaker 2 In all the scenes where he's closing his eyes, he's imagining having sex with children. That guy's a real freak.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm freaky.

Speaker 2 I'm kind of freaky. Yeah.

Speaker 2 We gotta finish this episode. I'm pretty excited about it.
Chris Angel. Anjan.
Yeah. We should get him on the show.

Speaker 2 Too tough, dude.

Speaker 2 It's difficult. I told you I went to a show in Vegas.
I met him. Yeah.
I didn't meet him. I said something to him.

Speaker 2 I thanked him. Yeah.
For the gift he's given the world. That's cool.
Also, Lewis was bothering me. Are you going to SkanksFest?

Speaker 2 What date is it? I don't know, but he was like, yeah, like Adam was was like insulted by the offer that we gave him. I don't think that was it at all.
I think I just probably

Speaker 2 know. I don't believe Lewis is not alive.
Why would I say to Lewis, this is an insult? Well, he was like... Even if I thought that, why would I say that to him?

Speaker 2 He was like, you guys offered Nick all this money and you didn't offer me shit.

Speaker 2 I literally did not say that for that. That's what he said.
And I was like, well. Well, that just means that I've out-alphed the alpha.
I guess, but you have to counter that.

Speaker 2 Like, the money I got from them is because I asked for it. I didn't take the first offer.

Speaker 2 People offer you, you get offers, and then you go around town telling everybody what a bad offer was instead of countering.

Speaker 2 From what?

Speaker 2 From everything. Everything, everything.
How do I get offers from you? They're like, yeah, they offered me this. Isn't that fucked up? It's like, just counter.

Speaker 2 Just offer them something else. That's how you know how things work.
You start off fucking, they start off low.

Speaker 2 You're a pretty smart guy.

Speaker 2 Counter. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then I I fuck with them. Yeah, instead, you just permanently destroy your relationship with people by going around town talking to them.
Who did I got going around town?

Speaker 2 What are you talking about? Go around fucking. And what relationship have I destroyed? You go around town fucking being like, oh, they're any relationships I've destroyed have not been

Speaker 2 from offers. I tell you what, there are legitimately offers that are insults.
Those do exist. And those are the ones that you got one for the show.
What do you mean?

Speaker 2 For some people we were talking to. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 This show? Yeah. No, we didn't.

Speaker 2 For the renewal thing.

Speaker 2 Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was an insult. That was an insult.
But even then, that's not even really an insult. That's just a little bit of a hardball offer.

Speaker 2 There are deals.

Speaker 2 That was a hardball offer. I got an offer.
So wait, can you explain this to me? I got an offer. So what's an insult? What's a hardball offer? What's a sweetheart offer? It's subjective.

Speaker 2 What's a sweetheart deal? I mean, the sweet that's like a it's about like a Hunter Biden thing. You get to kiss.
There's no sweetheart deals in actual negotiations. Well,

Speaker 2 maybe.

Speaker 2 Anyways, maybe it's like one of those like,

Speaker 2 I suck your dick. You don't stick to it.
There's one deal I've gone around and been like, this is funny. I've done the go-around town talking about shit.
What do you mean around town? Where was he?

Speaker 2 I've gone around town talking shit about one deal in the last year, and

Speaker 2 it wasn't just offered to me. The other person that got that offer, they also did the same thing.
And then it got back to who made the offer, and then they,

Speaker 2 from what I've heard, had said, oh, that was a mistake that that offer went out that way.

Speaker 2 So that's how you know.

Speaker 1 But that was a chip.

Speaker 2 That was a chip. I'm not, I'm done negotiating.
I mean, it's like if that's the initial offer, then I'd have no interest in hearing you. So you never got a counter.

Speaker 2 Even if the next, there's no counter to be made. I mean, it's like fucking.
Like if somebody was like, hey, I'll give you $20 to fly to fucking,

Speaker 2 you know, fly to Maui to do like 17 shows yeah

Speaker 2 that email would go in the garbage and i'd you know i'm not gonna be like okay well i see your 20 and i raise you fifty thousand i mean it's it's like i'm just not you remember with the old show we got that offer to go to philly the three of us for twelve hundred dollars yeah and it had an exclusivity 90-day exclusivity no it said we couldn't uh perform within a hundred miles of philly which encompasses new york city right yeah for six months For like six months, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, six months before and three months after.

Speaker 2 Yeah. We could have

Speaker 2 for $400 each. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 That was an insult. Yeah.
I mean, honestly, spitefully, it's like we should have done it and never promoted the show whatsoever. Just gone to Philly, had them pay for a hotel.
Got a cheesesteak.

Speaker 2 Show up at the venue. There's three people in attendance.
We drink every soda in the fucking green room. Yeah, free.
Yeah. Free.
And it's like, great.

Speaker 2 Sounds like you guys got your $1,200 worth off your eight tickets sold. Thanks.
Great doing business with you.

Speaker 2 No, then we would have had to pay also like

Speaker 2 an agency fee also. On the

Speaker 2 12th. Not on the soda.
No, the soda. Not on the soda.
Not all the shit we eat in the green room.

Speaker 2 You're really good at this.

Speaker 2 You're really good at this. Yeah.
Well, I watched the player. And also like watch the player.
Yeah, I was going to say. The player.
The player.

Speaker 2 You watch the player? Yeah, I love the player.

Speaker 2 Should we shoot this thing? Yeah, let's wrap up. I know it's

Speaker 2 a little bit. Guys, we're very anxious to finish what you now know is the Chet Hanks episode.

Speaker 2 Also, I'm going to be in Washington, D.C. this weekend, starting tomorrow through Saturday.
Five shows. Also, I'll be to Boston at the Wilbur Theater, I think on the 15th or the 16th.

Speaker 2 They added a second show. I don't know where those are at, but that is my last show for the year outside of Skanks Fest, which I will mostly just be um gambling and hopping on uh

Speaker 2 uh like showcases i'll call lewis and i have to yeah call

Speaker 2 bad adam comes out too um what date is skanks fest it's like three days i know that i have to be there we were we are doing bastard radio again but i have to coordinate with uh

Speaker 2 tim's schedule but um yeah i'm excited now that my schedule is clear it's like i can just oh yeah it'll be fun i'll just go hang out and then what's the date of that september uh i will just be mostly be using Skanks Fest as a way to generate or run new material.

Speaker 2 Beautiful. So I can pick up Tori again in March or February of next year.

Speaker 2 Hopefully, whenever I have just the structure of, you know, I can stand on stage for an hour and say things that I haven't said before.

Speaker 2 I'm really excited, dude.

Speaker 2 I don't care how the special does. It's just like, knowing it's like, check, it's done.
That material's done. It's like, I don't have to think about it ever again.

Speaker 2 And like the finality of it is like something that's always kind of been missing in stand-up. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, I always thought it would be frustrating because like even when we did it, there was more stuff. I was like, oh, I can say this.
I can say this.

Speaker 2 Like I added the things and I always thought like, oh, if you record it, then it's done. It's locked and you can never add to anything ever again.
But

Speaker 2 maybe that's good. It's good to just

Speaker 2 throw away. Yeah, right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Just like throw it out, forget about it.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
I think that's a good policy in life in general. But guys, we're very excited.

Speaker 2 We're very happy around the studio.

Speaker 2 And we're going to be,

Speaker 2 we have four episodes of the talk show and the pipeline and we're going to finish them off. Yeah, we got it.
We have, now that I'm off the road, we have much more time to shoot it.

Speaker 2 Although Adam is now planned to, he's going to Greece for six weeks. I'm going for a week and a half.

Speaker 2 With my goyal friend. Yeah.

Speaker 2 My goylfriend. I'm with my goyl girlfriend.
That'd be fun. That'd be nice.
Again.

Speaker 2 It'll be nice. Zero invitation.
No, nothing. Extend no offers.
Simpson's a girlfriend kind of thing.

Speaker 2 I could have had my own cabana.

Speaker 2 I could have had my own. You can come.
There could have been different

Speaker 2 gondolas. I could have been behind you several times.
Just hit up Stephen, because I talked to him yesterday.

Speaker 2 He's like, oh, maybe I should get my dentistry done in Greece and not in Florida with Kyle's uncle. And I was like, Yeah, just do that.

Speaker 2 So maybe you go with Stephen, take him to the dentist,

Speaker 2 go to the Acropolis. I don't know if I really want to.
That might seem a little weird if you're with your girlfriend and I'm with Stephen. I'm much happier where it's just you, me, and Maya.

Speaker 2 That's how I imagine.

Speaker 2 Thanks for watching, everyone. Washington this weekend starting tomorrow.
Love you.

Speaker 2 Cut?

Speaker 2 Okay, Ginzi, let me tell you what I'm thinking for this sake.