The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 16

Speaker 1 Cold mornings, holiday plans. This is just when I want my wardrobe to be simple.
Stuff that looks sharp, feels good, and things I'll actually wear. For me, that's Quince.

Speaker 1 And the bonus, Quince pieces make a great gift, too. This season's lineup is simple but smart and easy with Quince.

Speaker 1 $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like everyday luxury, and wool coats that are equal parts stylish and durable.

Speaker 1 Their denim nails, the fit, and everyday comfort, all at a fraction of what you'd expect to pay.

Speaker 1 By partnering directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middleman to deliver premium quality at half the cost, ooh, half the cost of other high-end brands.

Speaker 1 So you can give luxury quality pieces without the luxury price tag. Guys, with Christmas around the corner, my girlfriend has added two extra names to my Christmas list this year.

Speaker 1 Her father and brother.

Speaker 2 And what am I getting them?

Speaker 1 I'm getting them $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters. But, guys, I've never seen a Mongolian cashmere sweater for under $350.

Speaker 1 So take advantage of what is clearly

Speaker 1 some sort of glitch on their website with $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters. Guys, give and get timeless holiday staples that last this season with Quince.

Speaker 1 Go to quince.com/slash TAFS for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.
that's quince.com slash tafs free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash t a f s

Speaker 2 hey and welcome to the adam fridland show podcast

Speaker 2 podcast regular episode uh we just did the premium this morning i went to the gym hit the sauna Feeling relaxed, feeling good.

Speaker 2 A lot of stuff to be anxious about, but I tell you, that sauna really clears it all out. I think there's a little mouse eating the food you left out.
Oh, there is. I can hear it.
Can you see it?

Speaker 2 Can't see it. It's kind of dark out.
We got our own little ratatouille here. Well, there's no food in there.
That's why it's on the floor. There's just a box that had food in it.
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 Those two food boxes, those are just not...

Speaker 2 Well, those are on top of a table. Gotcha.
Gotcha. So the bag is garbage.

Speaker 2 There's also food behind you, left out on on the ground. I put that in the garbage bag.

Speaker 2 The bread you left out?

Speaker 2 Right there. It was a breakfast bar, and I ate it.
And then I put it in the garbage bag. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Your breakfast bar. You know who'd love that? An alcoholic.
An alcoholic.

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 2 Did I say I...

Speaker 2 So what's up for you're feeling bad? You feel like you're getting sick again? I think I'm getting sick.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think I started feeling bad in the last episode, and then you went to the gym, and I fell asleep on the couch, and I've just been. When was the last time you thought you were getting sick?

Speaker 2 Like two weeks ago?

Speaker 2 Six days ago. Six days ago.
And the time before that was probably what, like six days ago.

Speaker 2 Three days before that. Three days before that, yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know what it could be. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Certainly not allergies. That season's over.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 No, it's not allergies. i just can't stop i just couldn't stop falling asleep yeah i don't know what it was yeah i hope it's not the virus

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 we'll take some vitamin c virus used that shall yeah that shall not be named um it's funny moms tonight i don't want to be there it would be fun if they had another one

Speaker 2 i think this time china should make a virus in a lab and release it

Speaker 2 And then when people are like, you know. No, this is bullshit, then they actually get killed.
No, no, no. China China should make them.

Speaker 2 China, now is, if I were China, this is the best time in the world to make a virus in a lab and release it. Yeah.
Because after COVID, then all the people are like, oh, this was made in a lab.

Speaker 2 People would be like, we've been through this, buddy. Yeah.
China's not making viruses in a lab. That would never.
Yeah. It's sort of like that movie Double Jeopardy.

Speaker 2 China, in a lot of ways, is like Ashley Judd. Yeah.
Yeah. It's sort of the Ashley Judd of nations.
Exactly. Beautiful.
You can't tell. you fuck Tommy Lee Jones thank you.

Speaker 2 Beautiful, but you can't tell how old.

Speaker 2 Go ahead. What were you saying? Nothing.
Does she fuck Tommy Jones? In the movie. I don't know.

Speaker 2 Beautiful, you can't tell how old she is. That's all right.

Speaker 2 Communist characteristics. Sure.

Speaker 2 Big old cans, country music, legend, family. She's just naming things about Ashley Judd.
And Chinese characteristics.

Speaker 2 Communism with Chinese characteristics. Yeah.
What does that mean?

Speaker 2 Like communism, but

Speaker 2 like a

Speaker 2 bowing? I don't know. What does that mean? Karate vibes.
More of a karate vibe. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. No, I woke up and I feel, I don't even know what day it is right now.
And I'm really, I

Speaker 2 haven't been sick

Speaker 2 in a couple months and now I feel terrible. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I would like to go to Funny Mum tonight.

Speaker 2 But we got, you know. I'm working on a big opener.

Speaker 2 We got a big day.

Speaker 2 We're in New York City. We're in New York fucking city.
There's a lot to be grateful for. I'm feeling grateful.
You walk back from the gym feeling grateful? After the sauna, mainly. After the sauna.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. What are you grateful for? I don't know.
That was the only thing I struggled with when I was younger. It's like, you know.
Gratitude?

Speaker 2 You get, like,

Speaker 2 you know, worried about stuff. They'd say one of the best ways to deal with anxiety or worry is to practice gratefulness, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And that never really, maybe it's the way it's phrased or the wording or I'm going to take this thing off because it's uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 Maybe it's. They don't really breathe those things.
Yeah, they don't, the words, and I think it's shrunk, too. I don't know.
How does it? It's a synthetic material, no? Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 Maybe I got fat or who knows? Maybe your muscles got bigger. I don't think so.
Looks like someone spilled soy sauce all over it also. Oh, gosh.

Speaker 2 Was that Rick Glassman? Did Rick Glassman spill soy sauce on my channel? I think he did. Who is Rick Glassman?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 He does puns.

Speaker 2 He came on the show. He came with Jordan last week.
Isn't he famous?

Speaker 2 I think he's quite famous. Yeah, he's famous.

Speaker 2 He was kind of being a little bit

Speaker 2 combative. Combative.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't really know anything about him, but I'm sure. On our show, based on the team, I thought he was like.

Speaker 2 That sounds big. Well, it sounds like a book guy, like a guy that writes books about gratitude.
Yeah. I just read Being Gratitude by Rick Glasmow.
By Rick Glasmow.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you know, the people say, oh, you practice gratitude, and

Speaker 2 I don't know, I would always struggle with it because what that would turn into is I'd be anxious about something or worried.

Speaker 2 And then you say, practice gratitude, and then what that turns into in my head is like, you think, oh, well, it could be worse. There's other people that have a much worse situation.

Speaker 2 So then I'm still anxious about the initial thing, and now I feel like a piece of shit crybaby on top of it. Yeah, now you're an asshole.
So right now I'm an asshole on top of it.

Speaker 2 So you're scared and an asshole. Yeah, right.
So that doesn't really fucking help.

Speaker 2 But now I guess now that I'm older, I get it. It's like you got to find it in little things because it should be, that's like a universality, right? Practicing gratitude.

Speaker 2 It's not specifically tailored to somebody who's like actually very lucky, which I feel like I am. You know, it's like practicing gratitude should apply to everybody as a way out.

Speaker 2 So you think about it, it's like, all right, well, okay, well, how would I quote unquote practice gratitude if I was somebody in one of these terrible situations? And then it's like, you know, I mean,

Speaker 2 I made a little sandwich, and it's like, God, isn't this nice? I can. What do you have on it? Just

Speaker 2 chicken breast and some stir-fry. That's nice.
Yeah. What's you put stir-fry? Just the stir-fry toppings.
Oh, the toppings. Because it's like you get all kinds of vegetables.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I went over to Trader Joe's. I bought that.
A little quick sandwich. It's like, you know, I can put my sandwich together.
Isn't this nice? That is nice. Isn't it nice? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And that's the kind of stuff. It's not like, oh, you know, things are going well.

Speaker 2 And it is a little bit rude about this whole like, oh, it could be worse kind of thing. So you're supposed to be a homeless guy, but there's a guy that's a little bit more homeless than you.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's comparing yourself to like the dregs of humanity and being like,

Speaker 2 not me, brother. Right.
You know, it is, it's actually being more of an asshole you know yeah

Speaker 2 and being oh i'm so grateful for everything i have

Speaker 2 because i'm and i'm glad i need these fucking bums out there yeah to feel good about myself yeah you know

Speaker 2 these poor bums right

Speaker 2 but yeah there's always there's always small things you know The sandwich sounds good. Sandwich? That's not, you know.
It's a nice day. It's summertime.

Speaker 2 Dude, I just walked outside to see if I could wake up. And this is really

Speaker 2 this is like it. I felt like I was like

Speaker 2 one of those heroin guys you see, like waking up from a heroin thing.

Speaker 2 And I was like walking around like a zombie. And then the guy goes, Love the show.
And I'm like, oh, God, he's going to see me like that.

Speaker 2 But to be fair, you look like that on the show, also.

Speaker 2 It's not like, oh, this guy caught me in a private show. I look like one of those heroin guys.
Yeah, says. Oh, come on, man.

Speaker 2 I don't look like one of the guy caught me in a private moment where I'm slouching.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'm slouchy, my posture's bad, but like I was also just like

Speaker 2 squinting at the side. That shirt is somehow too big for you, and you're wearing it like a morbidly obese person.

Speaker 2 I don't understand. I don't understand that combination.
We're debusting it, it seems, but it's

Speaker 2 wearing your boyfriend's clothes.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 well, I didn't sleep in mine last night. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So, uh, again.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm glad you're feeling good. Yeah.
Do you think they're like in the... Real quick, I'd like to plug Boston.
I will be at the Wilbur Theater. We added a second show at some point in September.

Speaker 2 I can't remember when that is exactly, but it's coming up. I think it's the

Speaker 2 19th of September or something. Something like that.
And assuming I don't have some sort of brain aneurysm or something happening to me right now, I will be at the 24th to the 26th.

Speaker 2 You're just, you're being lazy.

Speaker 2 I'm not being lazy. What is this crap? I think you're just being lazy.
No, it's not normal to wake up and feel like how I felt and then to just completely. Well, there's inertia to it.

Speaker 2 You don't do anything. No, that's not true.
I do lots of things. I go places.
I drive places.

Speaker 2 I go to stores. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, I went to Best Buy the other day. Yeah.
She's telling me I don't do anything.

Speaker 2 Where are you going on vacation? You said that's coming up. Would you make a decision? I think I'll go with my girlfriend.
No, I think she wants she wants to go somewhere else, though.

Speaker 2 Where are you going? You told me you're buying the tickets. Greece? Oh, Greece.
So

Speaker 2 it's different. In what way? Greece is like...

Speaker 2 It's blue and white. It's just blue and white, Italy.
No, Greece is like...

Speaker 2 They were like, yeah, before, like the Romans. They just, Italy copied?

Speaker 2 I don't know, dude. Yeah, no, I just want to do nothing somewhere.

Speaker 2 And you're accusing me of doing nothing already.

Speaker 2 I'm not accusing you. I'm trying to help you figure out why you're so tired.
You're sitting there waiting. Today I am so tired.
Guys, I'm waking up. You're worried you have a brain aneurysm.

Speaker 2 I'm telling you, no, you don't have a, don't have any aneurysm. I don't think I have a brain aneurysm, August 24th to the 26th, Washington, D.C.
That's all I was trying to say.

Speaker 2 Assuming that I don't have some sort of terminal illness. You're not using that.
I'll be in Washington, D.C. next weekend.
You're not practicing gratefulness. You should take a nap.

Speaker 2 I'm usually grateful. You just took a nap.
We've worked one hour today. You took an hour.
I know.

Speaker 2 And you should say,

Speaker 2 how nice is it that I get to take this nap and be tired?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because homeless guys, they have to nap outside. Yeah.
And they don't even really, they're not getting quality sleep. They're not getting quality sleep out there.
They're not getting eight hours.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You think they wake up like, ah,

Speaker 2 sleeping under the stars.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Maybe you should have hit the sauna.
Maybe you should go take a nap in the sauna. And die?

Speaker 2 Sweat to death? Yeah.

Speaker 2 You could die in a sauna. Yeah.

Speaker 2 If you're in there too long or something? Probably. Yeah.
What's that called?

Speaker 2 Hyperthermia? Hyperthermia. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Is that like dying in a desert or something?

Speaker 2 Overheating. Overheating.
Which is a big problem now because the climate change. Yeah.

Speaker 2 A lot of people dying of heat stroke. You know, heat kills more people than any other type of weather.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I would have thought snow after the Jeremy Renner thing. Yeah, I would have thought that.
Yeah. Yeah.
I bet he feels stupid.

Speaker 2 He was trying to make us worried about the snow. He's like, yeah, I got nothing to worry about.
It's snow. It's like a hot day.
And then Blamo runs himself over with his

Speaker 2 bulldozer. Have you seen him go going back out in public since the incident?

Speaker 2 Does he have a cane? He's like stoically with a cane. That's cool.
And like he not like an unhappy look on his face, but like a dignified, like, I won't be defined

Speaker 2 by my snow equipment injury. Yeah, he met the Grim Reaper.

Speaker 2 And he said, not today. He said, not today, sister.
Not today, Satan. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I am not the one. He's in a black lady style.
I really should do this show with those sunglasses on more. These lights are too bright sometimes.
Yeah. Maybe I should get sunglasses too.

Speaker 2 We should be kind of a Blues Brothers kind of

Speaker 2 blind. Yeah, blind style.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just hitting each other with sticks. Yeah.
Yeah. It is wild.
I saw a blind person on the street the other day and it's wild that that is

Speaker 2 the tech. They've not updated the technology.
That is the tech on it. Yeah.
It's a stick you probe around with. Well, they should have come up with something better.
I guess it was. Is there an app?

Speaker 2 The stick is no longer pointy. They have the stick and then they have the black kid who's part dolphin.
Yeah, yeah, just that one kid.

Speaker 2 I think we already talked about this on a I think we talked about it on the street, but I don't think we talked about it on the show. Yeah, yeah, because deaf people got wild shit now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they have those cock Lear implants. Yeah, and then everything sounds like machine noises.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 like a tinny version of reality. Is that what it sounds like? I think it doesn't sound great.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Have you seen that movie about the drummer? The Indian drummer? Drumline?

Speaker 2 No, No, not drum line. Other drummer.
Indian drum line. The sound of stink line.
The sound of metal or something.

Speaker 2 Those kinds of

Speaker 2 things.

Speaker 2 Yeah, stink line.

Speaker 2 Like Pigben.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I just felt bad for that kid, Pigman.

Speaker 2 He was so poor that he had bugs all over him.

Speaker 2 That was duck.

Speaker 2 Wow, your family's poor. Yeah.
You're covered in bugs. I guess that's just like, that was like how.
Oh, you're like Africans. That's how the world was in like the 1930s.

Speaker 2 Remember where peanuts comes from? Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like, yeah, if you were poor, you're basically living in the

Speaker 2 middle ages. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's like literally the thing that they put in the commercials about African kids.

Speaker 2 About like, oh, this kid has bugs on his face. I should have to help him.
Does like infomercials when I was a kid. Remember the guy who looked like Michael McDonald with the beard? The Christian guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the Christian children. Michael McDonald would walk around a junkyard.
Now I'm waking up. He would walk around a junkyard and he'd like, like, there'd be like an old fucking Sanyo microwave.

Speaker 2 He'd move to the side and pick up just like some brown girl didn't even know she was in a commercial. Yeah.
Like, cup of coffee?

Speaker 2 You can own this child. For a cup of coffee.
Yeah. I can get you a kid.
That's got to be weird, too. You're living in.
What country was that even supposed to be?

Speaker 2 I think it was South america i remember the little the little girl was south american but he had one in africa too it looked south american but they were in the he was in like a junkyard yeah it looked like the set from the movie street trash i bet you was that's that's a fucking hollywood creation right that's kubarik doing the moon lab yeah i mean that guy didn't fly to a guatemalan junkyard oh my god they were in burbank he's like i gotta be at church i got church i'm playing i'm playing with the allman brothers band and

Speaker 2 i gotta take it to the streets

Speaker 2 taking it to the streets i don't have time

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Michael McDonald would do those commercials. That was a weird mood for him.

Speaker 2 I don't think it was him, dude.

Speaker 2 I think it was like

Speaker 2 the professor from Jurassic Park. That's who I always thought it was.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You can use these children for experiments. Yeah, it's the same guy.
That's the same guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 This is Jurassic Park. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Who is that guy?

Speaker 2 Richard Attenborough. Is it? Yeah.
It is Richard Attenborough. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So cool. Yeah.
So he made Planet Earth and Jurassic Park? And then he was like... Yeah,

Speaker 2 there's David Attenborough and Richard Attenborough. Oh, that's his brother? Yeah, I think one of them's the narrator and the other one's the Jurassic Park guy.

Speaker 2 David's way better. Yeah.
What the hell was the like? It's crazy that that guy thought that. I mean, it's such a ridiculous premise for a movie.
To make a theme park.

Speaker 2 Yeah, theme park in the, like, some island in the middle. Like, who's who can go there? Yeah.
You know? Who can even go there it's impossible yeah

Speaker 2 and then you got a fat guy working there how do you even get to that island Newman how did Newman get that job

Speaker 2 I've got a new idea you know where I'm gonna go as a 400 pound man to the jungle to work at a dinosaur right to be sucked to death by mosquitoes yeah yeah I don't think so Movie doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 2 That movie is, I'm saying fake as hell. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then Jeff Goldman's there just because you have to put him in. And then what was his role? He was just cool.

Speaker 2 He's like, oh, they're bringing me here because I'm, I'm, I have sunglasses. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Maybe the dinosaurs would like to have sex.

Speaker 2 Maybe I could

Speaker 2 fuck the dinosaur babies.

Speaker 2 Maybe.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 Yes, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yes, yes. The Velociraptors, they are a

Speaker 2 very sexy species.

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 yeah what was his role he just uh i think something smart right he like knew a lot about dinosaurs but he wasn't like in the girl kind of way yeah like the lady and then he had an adopted black daughter that was and now like sam neal and a an olympic olympist a gymnast he did yeah and the second one i think i don't remember jurassic world

Speaker 2 yeah They've made like 12 of them shits now. Damn, now I want to go home and watch Jurassic Park.

Speaker 2 You wrote that theme song? John Williams. Michael McDonald.
Michael McDonald?

Speaker 2 And if I ever see you again, Mr. T-Rex.

Speaker 2 He did write that song.

Speaker 2 God damn it. How did I not see it? If we could just have the dinosaurs back.

Speaker 2 yeah, we ended up scrapping the Michael McDonald team song for Jurassic Park because it was making Jeff Goldblum too horny.

Speaker 2 Heaven's sakes, we're gonna be free to have the dinosaurs back.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 that's pretty good for a cup of coffee a day.

Speaker 2 You can sponsor a child

Speaker 2 just him singing to a child

Speaker 2 and I love you just

Speaker 2 a confused little cookie jarred girl I forgot I can't find it for the life of me I've tried to look for it a million times but in high school

Speaker 2 my friend no my friend Leo in high school used to have a video of you of Bono on stage yeah singing to a singing to a child in the face and the kid is so fucking confused if anyone could find it and send it to me we it used to be our favorite video.

Speaker 2 You know what's the weird one? P.R. Pants.
It's the music video for the Rod Stewart song Forever Young. Where's a little mini Rod Stewart? Well, it's a little boy.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 I would imagine. But he's got spiky hair.
It's got to be his real-life son because make sure you're on Adam's camera while he's picking his nose. Come on, dude.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 It's got to be his real-life son because of the intimacy between Rod Stewart and this. Little red-headed.
I always thought it was a fucking Jerry McGuire kid.

Speaker 2 Jonathan Liffnicki. Yeah, I think he was only in Jerry McGuire and then he quit acting.
Really? Yeah, and then he was like, he got into P90X in his 20s, and then there was like a

Speaker 2 spate of articles that was like, check out fucking Mr. Maguire.
Check out the human heads 10 pounds kid. Yeah, he's

Speaker 2 abs. Yeah, already his abs.
Woo!

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the 10 10 pounds kid. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That was a good movie. Jerry Maguire?

Speaker 2 I do want to watch Jurassic Park again, though. I want to learn the monologue about I'm looking for my wife.
From

Speaker 2 Jurassic Park? No, from Jerry Maguire, dude. Oh.

Speaker 2 What's it called?

Speaker 2 Did you fuck my wife?

Speaker 2 It's not Did You Fuck My Wife.

Speaker 2 What are you talking about? There's a monologue from Jerry McGuire. Show me the money?

Speaker 2 No, Show Me the Money is on the phone. It's on the phone, yeah.
No, there's like a month. What's the premise of the movie?

Speaker 2 He's a sports agent, and he's like burned out at work, so he stays up all night writing a letter to the industry that's like, here's what's wrong with being a sports agent. We don't have enough heart.

Speaker 2 We don't care. No, he's a sports agent, and he's an agent for a bunch of players, one of whom is going to be...
the number one draft pick in the NFL quarterback.

Speaker 2 He has a bunch of players and then there's bad agent Jay Moore.

Speaker 2 And then there's kind of some sort of power grab where Jay Moore kind of signs up all his agents, all his players, and he gets forced out of the company. Yeah.
And he has one

Speaker 2 guy stays with him. You know what I'm saying? I watch Tidman.
Tillman. I always think that I remember

Speaker 2 that movie, and then I run through the plot in my head, and I'm actually just remembering the plot the Jiwana Man.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 No, I was just remembering the plots of Jamal. No, it's all right.
I got blueberries all over my pants. Okay, so he has one guy that stays with him who's a wide receiver for the Arizona Cardinals,

Speaker 2 right? But he still thinks he's got that number one draft pick. And he's like leaving the company, and then he says,

Speaker 2 I'm fucking out of here. These people are all fucked up, fucked up.
Who's with me? You know what I was thinking? And that, yeah, Renee.

Speaker 2 You buy the NFL, you get the money together, the NFL, and you change change the game of football where the quarterback throws it, but then the receiver's job is to bring the ball back to the quarterback through the defense.

Speaker 2 Like a dog? Yes. Wide retriever, right?

Speaker 2 You do that, change the game to that, touchdown is if you get the ball back to the quarterback. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Then you can make the field a quarter of the length. Yeah.
And then you use the additional stadium space to AI. Use that for AI.

Speaker 2 Server servers. Yes, computers.
Computers. And then the NFL suddenly goes from being a barely profitable business.
You're making millions. You can make millions of dollars.

Speaker 2 Millions.

Speaker 2 Overnight. I'm going to do Barstool next week tell them about my idea.
I'm doing Barcelona Bar. That's a good idea.
Patent pending. Patent pending.
I listened to Chapo. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think that they, I think people,

Speaker 2 some of the Chapo, some of the chapo check some of those boys were saying uh

Speaker 2 i was being annoying you were being annoying yeah you did steal my bit but what bit we've come to accept that i steal your bit probably every time i do chappo yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know anything about that's all right that's the atom bit what was the bit that is the atom bit what was the bit about how they say everybody can just claim to have autism now and so a lot of people are that's not your bit yes it is you said what i've said word for word identically which is when i said no i don't some people are just

Speaker 2 rude and have a hobby. Yeah, but then I was talking, no, I was talking about gaslighting and BPD.
Yeah, another thing. You don't talk about that.
I did. Yes, I do.
When did you say that?

Speaker 2 You say that on stage? I don't know if I've ever said it on stage, but I've made that

Speaker 2 autism. Actually, I have said it on stage because

Speaker 2 I would reference having autism on stage, and then I would do it at the stand, but say I've never been diagnosed with autism, but I've been accused of it. Yeah, you certainly have.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I've been accused of it, but everybody says they have autism. It's great because it's just a blank thing.
Some people are just rude and have a hobby, but you just say, oh, that guy's autistic.

Speaker 2 You said that word for word, and then also I've also made the point that they just put every woman on Lexapro now, and they all have...

Speaker 2 I think these are just general observations about the world, that all guys are being called autistic.

Speaker 2 You made the exact same point I have and used the exact words, but

Speaker 2 I don't know. about that.
Okay, all right, fine. I'm sick of that.
You're right. You don't steal.
And that started with what? With incel thing. That not getting, what did I say?

Speaker 2 Not getting pussies the worst thing in the world. Now we have to make them feel like awesome.
So it doesn't matter where it started. I mean, but that's not how things work.

Speaker 2 I am sick of fucking Autistic. I'm sick of everything being called Autistic.
Yeah. That wasn't your point either.
Oh, yeah. You're just rude.
I think maybe you've said.

Speaker 2 But the rest of that rant. And LexitPro, what is that? That's an antidepressant.
That's not BPD. Yeah, sure.
Shut up, Nick.

Speaker 2 Shut up, Nick. Sure.
Sure. Nice mustache.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think I'm a little mustache again. I think mustache for the special.
Have you gotten your outfit ready? No, I was going to just go get a turtleneck and some big jeans.

Speaker 2 I like that look.

Speaker 2 Turtleneck is big jeans? Like Jinko? No, not that big. No.
Just like. You were going to do Steve Jobs.
Yeah. Yeah.
And New Balance?

Speaker 2 No, I was thinking like Doc Martins.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Grunge.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah, taking it back to the early 90s.
Taking it to the streets. Seattle.
Taking it to the streets. Yeah.
That's the name of the special.

Speaker 2 I asked you earlier today what the name of the special was. Taking it to the streets.
Taking it to the streets. I keep forgetting.
Yeah. And I just don't have a punchline for any joke.

Speaker 2 I'll be like, ah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. We're taking it to the streets.
You keep saying it in live punchlines.

Speaker 2 I keep forgetting probably the best selling about Alzheimer's. Which is what?

Speaker 2 I keep forgetting by Michael McDonald. Oh, yeah.
The best song about

Speaker 2 having Alzheimer's disease. Is that what it's about? Yeah.
I keep forgetting where I put my cockies.

Speaker 2 I keep forgetting my son's face and name.

Speaker 2 I keep forgetting my own birthday.

Speaker 2 I keep forgetting while I'm in this hospital.

Speaker 2 I thought I was 30 years old. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I was just at work. I remember they used to be.
As a middle manager at GM.

Speaker 2 Now my bones feel brittle and weak. I think my grandmother, they used to get her.
She used to just walk out of memory care. They just get her on the street.
Have to go get her.

Speaker 2 They're like, yeah, we got her again today.

Speaker 2 Like, god damn it. Yeah.
So sad. Someone walking around not knowing where they are.
It's going to be sad when you have that. I think I have it right now.
And you can't remember other people's bits?

Speaker 2 Oh my God. What am I going to do? You're like, oh, I got to tell you.
That wasn't a bit. You're just rude.
All right, whatever.

Speaker 2 You're the.

Speaker 2 That's not a bit.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Every guy is fucking autistic these days. Okay.
I'm sick of it. Okey-dokie.

Speaker 2 I like.

Speaker 2 People need to learn how to cry. Okie-dokie.

Speaker 2 I believe I can cry.

Speaker 2 That's going to be the name of my special when I come out.

Speaker 2 I believe I can cry. Yeah.

Speaker 2 By R. Kelly.

Speaker 2 What's the R stand for?

Speaker 2 Good afternoon. Robert.
Robert. Yeah.
Does it?

Speaker 2 Does it really? Robert Kelly. R.
Kelly is Robert Kelly. Bobby Kelly.
That's crazy. Yeah,

Speaker 2 he tried to come out as...

Speaker 2 When he was first coming out,

Speaker 2 he went by Bobby Kelly. And they were like, you can't fucking do that.
But Bobby Kelly doesn't

Speaker 2 go by Bobby Kelly. He goes by Robert Kelly.
And then...

Speaker 2 He tried it. Sorry.
He tried to go by Robert Kelly. And then Bobby Kelly.

Speaker 2 Bobby Kelly was too big. Bobby Kelly's friends call him Bobby Kelly, but I think doesn't professionally, he goes by Robert Kelly.
I think maybe, yes. Yeah.
Yeah, so R. Kelly couldn't do it.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Is he still in trouble? He's one of those guys that's like, I feel like if you're not. Bobby Kelly.
If you got canceled both. Bobby Kelly is in big trouble.

Speaker 2 no r kelly i feel like if you got canceled before all the cancellations you're fine because it just kind of persists yeah like chris brown is fine and he was smart enough to bite rihanna before any of this stuff before it was illegal he got all his bites in before he did it yeah

Speaker 2 he got all his bites out of his system

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 He is in jail. Yeah, I said this a couple weeks ago and I kind of butchered remembering it, but

Speaker 2 I did hear a recording of some prisoner being like, sing for my girl, sing for my girl. And he gets on the phone and he starts singing.
And he's like, what song you want to hear? Who's this? R. Kelly.

Speaker 2 Oh, is he in jail? He's in jail. Yeah, yeah.
For what?

Speaker 2 For,

Speaker 2 I think,

Speaker 2 kidnapping women and holding them as sexist. I thought he just peed.

Speaker 2 The P was

Speaker 2 what came out first. Yeah.
But then there was the underage,

Speaker 2 and then there was the imprisonment. I thought these famous singers were getting in trouble for dog crimes.
Mm-mm. Yeah.
Mm-mm.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Justin Bieber ate someone's shoes. Justin Bieber in hot water after eating a bunch of period blood off

Speaker 2 his mom's underwear. Yeah, he eats the front of them.
Yeah. Yeah.
He had to stop.

Speaker 2 What's wrong?

Speaker 2 Heart attack? No. No, no good.
No more. No heart attack.
I don't like this. Looks like.

Speaker 1 Cold mornings, holiday plays. This is just when I want my wardrobe to be simple.
Stuff that looks sharp, feels good, and things I'll actually wear. For me, that's Quince.

Speaker 1 And the bonus, Quince pieces make a great gift, too. This season's lineup is simple, but smart and easy with Quince.

Speaker 1 $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like everyday luxury and wool coats that are equal parts stylish and durable.

Speaker 1 Their denim nails, the fit, and everyday comfort, all all at a fraction of what you'd expect to pay.

Speaker 1 By partnering directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middleman to deliver premium quality at half the cost, ooh, half the cost of other high-end brands.

Speaker 1 So you can give luxury quality pieces without the luxury price tag. Guys, with Christmas around the corner, my girlfriend has added two extra names to my Christmas list this year.

Speaker 1 Her father and brother.

Speaker 2 And what am I getting them?

Speaker 1 I'm getting them $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters. But, guys, I've never seen a Mongolian cashmere sweater for under $350.

Speaker 1 So, take advantage of what's clearly

Speaker 1 some sort of glitch on their website with $50 Mongolian Cashmere sweaters. Guys, give and get timeless holiday staples that last this season with Quince.

Speaker 1 Go to quince.com/slash TAFS for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.
That's quince.com/slash TAFS. Free shipping and 365-day returns.
Quince.com/slash TAFS.

Speaker 2 Well, that's where the, there's like a bubble or something.

Speaker 2 You need to burp?

Speaker 2 Is that how you burp? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You burp like that? The clowns burp.

Speaker 2 The clowns.

Speaker 2 I could be the very specialist. Yeah, how about a Mexican clown

Speaker 2 that

Speaker 2 sneaks across the border? And when he gets across the border, he pulls a

Speaker 2 little dog out of his ass filled with heroin. Oh, okay.
Like a balloon animal. Yeah.
In there,

Speaker 2 he's like, look, you say,

Speaker 2 you say, Ligo pero. Yeah.
You say, what's a little in Spanish? Like sito.

Speaker 2 You say sito at the end. Pero sito.
Pero sito. Yeah.
Y se pero sito. Yeah.
E con y jero uno.

Speaker 2 Something like something like that, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then the cartel, they're like

Speaker 2 they're like, this that's funny. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What's going on with the cartel these days? This border thing is crazy. What is it is it popping off again?

Speaker 2 Um, yeah, but they're like putting like fucking buoys with razor wire in the water so that like... That's really mean.
I mean, that's insane.

Speaker 2 The kids going that way. Like, if Mexico is that fucking bad, just let them in the country.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? They're doing all the crap we need. Forever, it was like, I can understand being like, oh, you know, I don't want them here.

Speaker 2 Like, I can, not that that's my opinion, but I can understand being like that if your perception is that there's just no, they're coming here to take jobs. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 But nobody's getting sliced open by fucking razor wire for a job. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 So, like, how could you, like, there's got to be something else. I don't know what the fuck's going on.
It's got to be. It's got to be pretty.

Speaker 2 It's got to be bad. The vibe has to be pretty off.
It's got to be pretty bad down there. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They're putting buoys with razor wire? Yeah.

Speaker 2 So it's just like a fucking... It's like trench warfare.
It's like World War II.

Speaker 2 They're making it Belgium in World War I, which is crazy because that's so much worse than a wall, which everyone was mad at Donald Trump for saying we're going to put a wall up.

Speaker 2 So Biden's putting just like putting barbed wire in the rivers to like slice people open.

Speaker 2 That's

Speaker 2 terrible. Yeah, it's bad.
That's terrible. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They should all team up with that clown guy and just use his tiny car.

Speaker 2 The thing is, they see him at the border crossing being like, it's just me. It's just me.

Speaker 2 I promise. I haven't seen nothing in my life.
It's just me and a little dog.

Speaker 2 My Pero Sinto. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What else is in the news?

Speaker 2 Adam, what's going on with you? What's on your mind?

Speaker 2 Just fucking fighting through.

Speaker 2 I don't know you're fighting with your girlfriend? No, did you buy the tickets for Greece? No, we haven't bought them yet. You texted me.
You texted me.

Speaker 2 I mean it seemed like it was a like an urgent thing. We're not we're we're we have to figure one other thing out with the dates, but we'll do it today probably.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But we're annoyed. I just bought all these fucking I had to have to fly you know, our guys out to shoot this thing this weekend.
I'm going to be there, brother. I know.

Speaker 2 And it's like, if I had had that, if I had that credit card, I maybe could have possibly have gotten status for it, but I don't know how the fuck you get status.

Speaker 2 It should be a thing you can get it by flying one airline.

Speaker 2 And it's like, I don't think that's possible with American Airlines.

Speaker 2 I flew Delta. Yeah.
And I put my damn Delta card on it. Yeah.
Yeah. I chose American rather than Delta, which I think was.
American is a mistake.

Speaker 2 Well, I guess for the, I looked at it and the international stuff, which is like when I, if I ever cashed in any of that shit, is better with American. Is it? Supposedly.

Speaker 2 They have more partner airlines. I think I read

Speaker 2 the country. On the points guy.
Well, I'm saving them all up. I have enough chase rewards that I could go somewhere.
I want to accumulate a number. Where would you go? I don't know.

Speaker 2 It would be to kill myself, though. It's like if I.
Suicide Force Japan? No. I've been depicting.

Speaker 2 It's a bigger cooler spot than that. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I would go to Joe Biden's house.

Speaker 2 And just not a suicide bombing in America. Not a suicide bombing, so you're not allowed to investigate me off this claim.
Yeah, let's hear it. But I would.
It's a bit. He's doing a bit.

Speaker 2 I'm doing a bit. And it's not illegal to go into the president's home and put a hose in your own ass and breathe in the fart.
Yeah, the fumes until you die.

Speaker 2 Because then it's, you know,

Speaker 2 everybody thinks self-immolation, that's the ultimate way to make a point.

Speaker 2 No one's ever... Some of you.
Choking a death on your own. If you burn yourself to death on the front lawn of the White House would be a story for a week.

Speaker 2 If there was a man that did diarrhea into his own lungs, that would be, you'd be the next, you'd be every Rage Against Machine album. Yeah, you would.
Yeah, the hose guy. The hose guy.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 People would be making hose guy t-shirts. Yeah.
There'd be a fucking hose guy miniseries.

Speaker 2 There'd be a fucking hose guy.

Speaker 2 True crime, American crime story, OJ style. Yeah.
I've been watching an investigation discovery. Yeah.
The last couple of days.

Speaker 2 They have that show, like, I didn't know I was pregnant until I was taking a shit one day in a baby film, the toilet. No, that's like TLC.
Is that too?

Speaker 2 Investigation Discovery is like, and then they found Jessica's body fucked to death behind the McDonald's. And then they hire reenactors, right?

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, then they always do an interview with the fattest cop you've ever seen. He's like, it's one of the most disturbing cases I've ever seen in my 785 years in law enforcement.

Speaker 2 I still think about it often. Yeah.
It was terrible, but she was sexually fucked to death. The Jessica case.
Yeah. Yeah.
Where's Jessica?

Speaker 2 Why isn't that name? That name is just like bad shit's going to happen in your life. What, Jessica? Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, there's been Jessicas that have had a good time.

Speaker 2 I feel like if you're Jessica, you either get murdered or you become an Olympic gymnast. Yeah.
Those are the only two.

Speaker 2 Which I guess they have. They've had a bad time.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's

Speaker 2 apparently Larry Nasser. Did he get killed in Jockey? He got stabbed.
He got stabbed. Yeah.
But he beat it?

Speaker 2 I guess. I was saying recently, it's weird that that's...

Speaker 2 It seems a little late. Yeah.
You know? Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like when Kissinger dies and then socialists on Twitter are going to be like, fuck yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, it's like, no, he's already.

Speaker 2 He's already done genocide. Yeah, right.
You know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, I mean, late in the sense that he's been in prison for a while. Oh, it was late for him to get stabbed.
Yeah, it's something like he got stabbed.

Speaker 2 Well, he was probably paying off people for protection. Yeah.
Subway Jared got the business almost immediately, I think. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, people just, I don't know. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Larry Nasser is like a

Speaker 2 mean that guy did numbers. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know?

Speaker 2 You know about this guy, Kermit Gosnell?

Speaker 2 The abortion guy in Philly? The abortion guy in Philly? Yeah. That guy was truly like.

Speaker 2 that was what did he do again he was like he just was like a killing women he was just you know post-term post-term infanticide

Speaker 2 they said it was like disgusting when they went in there they were supposed all over the floor

Speaker 2 so he's like really he was really just DIY trouble for having a messy office he was DIY yeah he was incredibly DIY punk rock he was punk rock he was very bushwick get in the van

Speaker 2 yeah that guy was a real monster. If anyone wants to read

Speaker 2 the worst, most disturbing

Speaker 2 Wikipedia that

Speaker 2 is up there. Is he in jail? I don't know what happened to Kermit.
Gosnow. Kermit.
If your name is Kermit,

Speaker 2 you're going to do

Speaker 2 like a string of horrific

Speaker 2 torture type crimes. What other Kermits are there? There's the frog.

Speaker 2 But I feel like if, yeah, a guy named Kermit eventually will always

Speaker 2 just

Speaker 2 do some horrific things. Yeah.
It's funny that there was probably, after Kermit the frog, no one was named Kermit anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That probably holds more true than the name Adolph.

Speaker 2 There were probably, in the 50s, there were a couple of parents like, it's so what?

Speaker 2 I love the name. It's a nice name.
It starts with A. He's always going to be called first in class.
You can call him Dolph. Yeah.
True.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's true. Yeah.
But Kermit? No, that was out. Garfield, too.

Speaker 2 True. Nobody's named Garfield anymore.
Used to be. Used to be used to be named Adolph Garfield.

Speaker 2 I was thinking the other day, what happened to all the Travises?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 They're still Travises. I don't know any.

Speaker 2 I think I know a couple of Travises. There were a lot of fucking Travises in high school.
Yeah. I think it's a West Coast name.
Yeah, that and Zach. Zach? I know some Zach's.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They're not dead.

Speaker 2 Well, it's like... Apparently they all died off.

Speaker 2 There's another name that I remembered where I was like, I couldn't name one anymore. We've had this conversation, but it's the odds that you're fat if your name is Chris.

Speaker 2 Chris. Girl Chris or guy Chris? Guy Chris.

Speaker 2 There's a good chance

Speaker 2 you have like an 80% chance of being a big fat guy if your name's Chris. What is that? I don't know.
You think maybe it's the beginning of Christmas? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Santa Claus. Yeah, they're like, oh, I got to eat a lot of chocolate.
I got to eat a lot of chocolate. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I got to eat a lot of plates of cookies. Majority of Chris's I've known in my life have been fat guys.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm trying to think of Chris's. I don't know.
There's what? Chris O'Connor, he's not fat. No, he's not.
He's not, but that's, an exception. He's the only one.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of

Speaker 2 non-fat Chrises.

Speaker 2 I can't even think of one besides Chris O'Connor. Chris Cuomo.
Chris Cuomo is a fucking

Speaker 2 marble. That's why he works out all the time.
His name is Chris Ocux. Because he doesn't want to be like one of those Chrises.
Yeah, you know what? He's like, I'm not going down without a fight.

Speaker 2 CNN could take me. He's very defensive about

Speaker 2 the Italian stuff, but he should be more defensive about

Speaker 2 the Chris stuff. It's a very fat.

Speaker 2 Chris Tucker. Chris Christie.
Are there other Chrises in politics?

Speaker 2 And Chris Christie is like the fattest politician since Taft.

Speaker 2 Isn't there a female Chris in the Midwest? We're not talking about female Chris. I know.

Speaker 2 Christy Noam.

Speaker 2 She's one of those, like, somehow, like, after Trump got elected, we ushered in all these CrossFit women. Yeah.
You know, well, now that they're just in government.

Speaker 2 The gun, the, the, they're all cross-fit. The vaccine gun lady does like like pull-ups and stuff.
Yeah, the Fred Flintstone lady. Yeah, she looks like shit.
Yeah, she looks terrible. She's gross.

Speaker 2 Is she still in Congress? Taylor Greene? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She still is? Yeah, every week she's like, we're impeaching Joe Biden.
We're sending Joe Biden to jail.

Speaker 2 She's just like, hands in paper is written in crayon. Can she read?

Speaker 2 She just yelled. Yeah.
It's crazy. You could just be on like

Speaker 2 you could just have angry enough Facebook posts and it will result in you being on in the government. I should try that, dude.
It's easy now. It's easy.

Speaker 2 And then if once you get into Congress, you get kicked out and then you just do speaking tours and you get fucking... You work for the fucking private sector.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Which is a private sector as you come in. That's when you fucking make money.
It's like doing stand-up, but it's better because it's 10 o'clock in the morning at Golden Sachs. Easy.

Speaker 2 And you don't have to be funny. No.

Speaker 2 You can be a little bit, you know,

Speaker 2 you don't even bomb. Yeah, you just fucking, you know, you just, you're like, look, guys, Wall Street is fucking awesome.
Yeah. And they're like,

Speaker 2 yeah. Yes.
You guys are cool. These wildfires in Hawaii, let's see wildfires on the stock market.
That's what I'd like to see. I'd like to see fucking the S P burning it up.

Speaker 2 You know, and then you do the last 30 minutes is just what you remember of the movie Jared Maguire. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's the way to go. How about it? I've moved on to the second LBJ book now.

Speaker 2 What is he doing in this one now? The present? The second one, no. The second one is, didn't you read the second one? No, I read the first one.
No, it's on the record

Speaker 2 here, guys. You can look it up.
On this show, Adam claimed he read the second one. The first one.
No, I asked you. I said, I read it.
The path to power.

Speaker 2 I asked you, and you said, no, I read the second one. Michael Franklin.
I read the path to power. Okay.
And what happens in that path to power yeah

Speaker 2 they have to get a fellowship together let's go to Mordor destroy the damn ring

Speaker 2 easy yeah next I think this is another one of Adam's book lies okay I'll tell you another I'll tell you another fact about it Adam's book of lies

Speaker 2 okay you want to hear another fact the book of he the liar he was a teacher Yeah, that's one fact you can look up.

Speaker 2 That's why I said I was reading the first book and you're like, oh, I read the the second one. Isn't the first book? That's the one where he's a teacher.
Path to Power.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because you didn't read it. You told me you read the second one.
I have Path to Power in my house. You have a bunch of books that you have not read in your house.
That is absolutely true.

Speaker 2 Yeah, everybody does. Yeah, yeah.
That's what books are for. That's what books are for.
The show. We all heard that John Waters.
They look really nice. John Waters said it the best.
I know.

Speaker 2 I heard that thing and it stays in your head. If you want to rape a girl,

Speaker 2 this is the exact quote by. You got to buy books.
If you want to trip somebody in your house.

Speaker 2 It's on a tote bag. I got this strand that says.
A gay guy said it. If you want to trick people into having sex,

Speaker 2 fill your house

Speaker 2 with the Caro series you haven't read. Yeah.
Girls really do be wanting to fuck from Robert Caro. But see, it's so funny because it's so stupid.
It makes sense that a gay guy said it because, like.

Speaker 2 It sounds good. It's like women will, women will, like, anything.
You could go, your house could be filled with Funko Pops.

Speaker 2 And like, if a woman has decided to fuck somebody, they'll be like, oh, cool, he's into Funko Pops. Right.
You know, that's actually cool. Yeah, women will fuck guys with micro penises.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Women will fuck anyone. Yeah,

Speaker 2 it's not like they do things in spite of. Yeah.
They elevate all of the spiteful aspects to the level of, like, oh, actually, these things are.

Speaker 2 What they'll do is they'll fuck a guy with a micro-penis, and then they'll tell everyone that the guy has a micropenis. And they'll have a podcast about an actual podcast about it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And it's called, it's

Speaker 2 Kevin Saunderson has a micro penis. Yeah, right.
Yeah. The new bitch podcast.
Right. And then they'll get like $150 million for you.

Speaker 2 Spotify will give them $200 billion

Speaker 2 for the slutty. To just list men's, like,

Speaker 2 yeah. Yeah.
Meanwhile, we got to work our ass. We got to fucking put on hard hats.
On these fuckers.

Speaker 1 We built this.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Have you seen that thing? You didn't build this.
Have you seen that thing on Twitter where it's like the guy's like playing with with diarrhea?

Speaker 2 And then somebody would be like, women can't do this job. And it's just a guy, I don't even know what.
What job is that? I don't know. There's pipes and diarrhea.
They're covered in shit.

Speaker 2 Plumber? No, it's like some kind of induction. I think it's like the hose under the elephant enclosure at the zoo.
Or it's the guys that pump the feces out of Bonnaroo or something.

Speaker 2 But they're like, oh, women can't do this job. Yeah.
And that's like a frog.

Speaker 2 Andrew Tate is retweeting that. And he'd be like, yeah, give me the fucking diarrhea, you dumb bitch.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Did you see?

Speaker 2 Did you ever see? I don't know. Is he in jail too? What's the deal with that? I think he's like on parole.

Speaker 2 He's in like Dracula's Castle. Yeah.
Romanian pro. Romania.
What's that like?

Speaker 2 I just imagine my Bowser's Castle. In my head, it's just fucking all satin and fucking stained glass.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it sounds awesome. Yeah.
It's me. It's just sitting on a bunch of throw pillows somewhere.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. They're like, would you like some dirty tea? It's like a Sebastian rubber.

Speaker 2 Would you like a special type of tea? That's just, we didn't figure out how tea bags work. So we put it in.
So the dirt is in it. Dirt.
Yeah, dirt tea.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty cool.
That's what I imagine. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That guy really talks weird. And I'm sure we've said this too.
But all the bad guys. Fuck kind of accents.

Speaker 2 All these guys. Musk and him.
What, Musk, him, Andy Nio?

Speaker 2 Yeah, just have a, just talk regularly. It makes sense.
Like, and it's weird that you don't see that analysis, like, sincerely ever.

Speaker 2 Is that like, oh, all of these guys, they're not like, of course they're antisocial. They've, they had to go through their entire life.
They're just located identity. Right.

Speaker 2 They can't open their mouths without, they can't relate to people because people are going to be like, why the fuck are you talking like that? Were you from fucking Australia?

Speaker 2 Yeah, and it's just what kind of accent is that? Well, it's a blend. I guess Andrew Tate spent time in like your English

Speaker 2 as a kid. Yeah, so he talks with American accent, but he's like, yeah, it's utterly disgusting what's going on with feminism.
Yeah. You know, top of the morning.
Tall for the woman.

Speaker 2 It's not even, there's no accent. He just pronounces the words.
He like omits like fucking consonants the way that a native

Speaker 2 name would.

Speaker 2 Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. But otherwise, he sounds like a guy.
Elon Musk, too, weird accent. Andy No, weird accent.
And it's like in any other world, they would have just been Will Keith.

Speaker 2 They would have been in the swords. Yeah.
You know? But then they just found guys to be like.

Speaker 2 I get. I mean, that's got to be fucking alienating, dude.
If you talk to anybody and like just basic human interaction. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then you have the internet where you can't, where people can't hear them. And they can now vent these things and they're taken seriously because they're silly voice.
Jordan Peterson, same thing.

Speaker 2 Silly voice. RFK Jr., silly voice.
Silly voice. You know, it's like,

Speaker 2 it affects people. Yeah.
I think more than anything. And I feel like that's unexamined.
Yeah, you know who had a cool voice? Emo Phillips. Emo Phillips.
Weird voice.

Speaker 2 If Emo Phillips was like, women's place is in the kitchen, I would be like, yeah, I can understand. I'd buy his damn book.
I can understand why he'd buy that damn book. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think that that guy, that Gorka, that used to work for Trump, that guy had an amazing voice. Yeah.
And no one took that guy seriously. But he has right-wing radio voice.
Yes.

Speaker 2 That's the other way you can go. Your voice can be so good.
Those guys do have amazing voices. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Rush Limbaugh sounded awesome. He sounds awesome.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hunter Biden, drug addict and fucking degenerate. Is he still cooking? These people are destroying America.
Yeah, he died from like Tylenol or something. Oh.
Yeah. Did he die from that?

Speaker 2 Well, he got addicted to fucking back pills. Yeah, back pills.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He was the goat. Yeah.
He truly. Imus had a great voice, too.
Yeah. He wasn't full of conservative.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So if you're imagine you're a boy growing up and you're in school and you're like, who's ready for lunchtime? My dad used to. Like, what are you, Rush Limbaugh? And you're like, I guess I am.

Speaker 2 My dad used to

Speaker 2 listen to Imus sometimes when we were like in the car.

Speaker 2 Imus would be.

Speaker 2 I must suck your penis. And when I was a kid, he used to talk about McCain.
I must suck your penis. I remember what he said about McCain.

Speaker 2 I must suck your penis. What did he say about McCain? He used to go, that's my boy.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I always remember that. Yeah.
Yes,

Speaker 2 John McCain, that's my boy. Is Dick Cheney still alive? I think so.
I love him, dude.

Speaker 2 I love Dick Cheney. He dressed like Darkwing Duck now.
Yeah, yeah. That's his vibe.
Yeah, that's what Glenn Beck is. Glenn Beck somehow still has relevancy.

Speaker 2 And he's just, remember he's like, he had that brand shift to being like steampunk Hillary Clinton guy?

Speaker 2 He got circled glasses. Who the fuck is listening to Glenn Beck? I know.
Is he online or something? That's why I worry about the show and all this stuff. And it's like...
No, the fans never learned.

Speaker 2 If Glenn Beck can still. They never go.
Yeah. Yeah.
I was trying to get Guttfeld. Something can turn bad.
I was trying to get Gutfilt. I was still there.
Yeah, Gutfield.

Speaker 2 You were trying to get Gutfield for here? Yeah, yeah. He said no? Well, it's funny.
I had no idea. Like, you know,

Speaker 2 that's a non-union show, so they only have three writers, and they've continued to be on during the writer's strike. But

Speaker 2 Joe DeVito and Joe Mackey both write for the show.

Speaker 2 They do. Yeah.
Yeah. And I don't know who the third guy is.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 It might just be Gutfield.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, I asked Joe DeVito, but I did not hear back.

Speaker 2 What the fuck?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, we got a lot of good ones coming up, guys.
Yeah. Just so you know.
Well, we just got to be shooting. We got to shoot.
We got to just shoot the intros. Shoot this other stuff.

Speaker 2 We have

Speaker 2 a lot of fun. Hopefully after this weekend, the schedule is clear.

Speaker 2 We'll be able to do it. No more scrambling.
It'll be fun. No more panicking that, oh, we only have

Speaker 2 12 hours to shoot this thing and make sure it works. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And then you have to be on a plane to fucking Wilkes Bear PA.

Speaker 2 Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
To do the.

Speaker 2 To do Hitler Live.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That is very funny that you said that at the stadium shows. What? You feel like Hitler? You do feel.
I mean, I don't, like,

Speaker 2 it's insane.

Speaker 2 That's insane. It's like, you should not be.
No human being should be able to address that many people. And I, there were, were there black people there? I don't think so.
No.

Speaker 2 It's like 10,000 white people. I think so.
Like 13,000 white people. No, it is a that is a weird feeling.
Yeah. It's wrong.
It's wrong. It's wrong.

Speaker 2 It's wrong. As much as the internet feels wrong, addressing a stadium feels way worse.
Yeah. You know?

Speaker 2 They didn't even do that.

Speaker 2 That's what Trump was doing. They built the Coliseum, right? Right.
In ancient Rome. And then, like, Caesar could have been like, oh, this is where I'm going to do my hate speech.

Speaker 2 But he was like, no, we're just going to make slaves kill each other. Or make Christians go.
That's not as bad. as speech.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Speeches are kind of bad.
They're bad.

Speaker 2 People shouldn't give speeches. Yeah.
I don't even know why Trump for all the people. Tell me one good speech.

Speaker 2 All the shit Trump catches, like the audacity and idiocy of him to call his things rallies. Yeah.
Don't call it a rally.

Speaker 2 Call it like a Trump powwow or something.

Speaker 2 Pick a different name. Yeah.
You can't call it a fucking rally. Crossburn it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, that one's probably bad, too. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Call it a Barnstorm. A Barnstorm doesn't sound good.
Yeah. No, Barnstorm's fine.
You think so? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I like fireside chat. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That sounds nice. From the disabled president.
Yeah, for the president wheels. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think that was cool. He fucked his cousin.
Did he? Yeah, she looked like shit.

Speaker 2 I didn't know that. He did the New Deal? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, Roosevelt? Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, her maiden name was Roosevelt.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Wasn't that all the rich people back then? Eleanor. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you get a young man. You can fuck a cousin.
He's featured prominently in the first LBJ book, Which you would know if you would actually. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 The New Deal? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Franklin Delano. Delano.

Speaker 2 A dumb name. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, they weren't like,

Speaker 2 I know this from the Teddy book, but like their family in the 1800s weren't fully accepted by like New York high society because Roosevelt Roosevelt

Speaker 2 was

Speaker 2 too Dutch sounding. Oh, really? Yeah.
Oh. Yeah.
Roosevelt. But weren't the other names like kind of.
But I thought that New York was Dutch. Isn't Van Vanderbilt is kind of.
Yeah, but he was New Money.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 Vanderbilt was also? Yeah. But like what about like Astoria? The Commodore.
That's the best nickname ever. Astoria, that's like...

Speaker 2 That's like sort of a... Isn't that a name? Is that one of the people or is that just what they called the...
Aster? Waldorf. That's what I'm thinking.
Maybe. Aster.
Aster. Jacob Aster.
Yeah, Aster.

Speaker 2 That's not not real.

Speaker 2 The Asters were the those were New York High Society. Yeah.
The Asters. Picture again on his cam for a picking.

Speaker 2 Dude, I wait for the red to leave. The 52 million.
I wait for the leave. I know, but he can.
I wait for the red to leave. Again,

Speaker 2 Adam, you don't have to, actually. We're going.
We want it implied, like sex in pre-code Hollywood. The nose.
Like sex in pre-code Hollywood. Let's get it.
You know what?

Speaker 2 I'm waking up a little bit now. Let's get it.
You know what? I'm waking up a little bit.

Speaker 2 You know what I needed? I need a little nappy-nappy. You know what? And I'm not ashamed to say it.
And I picked my nose, but the red light was not on. Let's go wait for the red light to go away.

Speaker 2 Let's get Adam's nose picking camera going for all of the nose picks.

Speaker 2 I figured that would wake you up a bit. I'm always on your side.
Don't forget that. It may not seem like it, but

Speaker 2 I'm sort of like the ghost of Christmas Future. I know you're on my side.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 You gave me the best advice of

Speaker 2 the show. You.
Buy Bitcoin. No.
Oh.

Speaker 2 you told me to stop being a fucking asshole yeah and i thought you were being mean to me no no you're like just be nice to people and like make it them like to have a nice time with you it's surprising how long it's regular how long of a way that goes you can just be nice to people that's and that's what i that's what i learned for the interviews you just have to be nice to people

Speaker 2 I was trying to do crowd work, be like, what do you do for a fucking living? Oh, you're gay and stuff. Because that's what I thought you have to do nowadays in this damn comedy climate.

Speaker 2 I found out you just have to like make people feel good to be around you. Yeah, and most people are fine.
It's very rare that I have a bad interaction with like

Speaker 2 anyone?

Speaker 2 Yeah, unless they're, you know. Customer service.
No. Just doing their damn job.
I don't have bad interactions with customer service. I think that's a myth.

Speaker 2 It's blown out of proportion over that one issue with the post office because they would not deliver my 125 pound weight vest. Oh, I have a question.

Speaker 2 And I had to go down to the truck to get it myself, which I had no problem doing, but they would come by and leave the note.

Speaker 2 I'm like, look, I know you got it on the truck, just let me get it off the fucking truck. And the guy says, you're not allowed to take pictures of the truck, it's federal property.

Speaker 2 And that's where it's like, okay, well, that's not true. So now we're talking about the facts of the world.
Yeah. And that I cannot, that will not stand with me.

Speaker 2 That I will not stand by while you

Speaker 2 engage in some chilling effect to limit people's ability to photograph federal property. Right.
That's our right.

Speaker 2 Are We paid for that.

Speaker 2 Now may I please have my weight vest? Yes.

Speaker 2 And what did they say? Yeah, he gave it to me. He's like, fine, but I'm not taking it up the stairs.
I'm like, I didn't ask you to. I'll do it.

Speaker 2 Now you're making a new argument for no other reason other than you're mad that somebody would order this. And instead of finding any kind of compromise, I offer to meet you in the middle, literally.

Speaker 2 Somebody put it on the truck with the dolly, and then you just drive to my house. You'll take it off the damn truck.
You don't have to take it off the truck.

Speaker 2 Just ring the doorbell and I'll come get it. Yeah.
And I had to go down and fucking get it.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, look, I know it's on the truck. It says it right here.
It's on the truck.

Speaker 2 He's like, fine, but I'm not taking it up. I'm like, you don't have to.
You don't have to. That's where this started.
Is you don't have to. Just let me get it off the truck.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's not unreasonable. I was not in the wrong.
No, I don't think you were.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you met a friend that day. You made a friend.
Well, hopefully. Hopefully.
Hopefully. Did you get his number? it's not about making a friend.
It's about triumphing over these small conflicts.

Speaker 2 And through that, we discovered the human spirit.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 The triumph of the will. Yeah.
Like I recently found out, I have free cone day, Ben and Jerry's marked down on my phone.

Speaker 2 And I went. What day is it? Would you tell me? It's apparently has not been a thing for about a decade.

Speaker 2 And I went there, dressed as a mentally disabled person because I figured that would give me a little more cachet. And I can cut the line.
We'd be like, oh,

Speaker 2 and they told me we stopped doing that. And I said, but I'm retarded.

Speaker 2 And they said, no, you're just wearing a shirt with Goofy on it. And then in Sharpie, you wrote, I'm retarded over a picture of Goofy.
Yeah, what mentally handicapped person would wear that shirt?

Speaker 2 I'm like, you're going to tell me I know what this says. I can't.
Like, it's written backwards. You did it in a mirror.
I'm like, okay, well,

Speaker 2 can I have the ice cream? And what do they say? No? They said, no. And

Speaker 2 do they call the police?

Speaker 2 No, I kind of just left defeated.

Speaker 2 But I saw there was a homeless man outside with a pit bull asking for money. And I just very lightly stepped on the dog's foot to make it squeal.
It's a triumph.

Speaker 2 And yeah, it woke the homeless guy up, and he was all upset. Then I said, I felt a little bit better about myself.
Yeah. It's the small victories.
It's the small victories.

Speaker 2 That's kind of how you started the show off. Yeah.
Yeah. That's gratitude, right? It is.
Yeah, it is gratitude.

Speaker 2 Stepping on an abusing an animal. Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 Well, it's a pit bull, you know. It's a pit bull.
If it was a ready abuse. Yeah, if it was a Pomeranian, I wouldn't do it.
Yeah. If it was a show dog.
We bred these dogs to hurt for pain. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's their job, kind of. Yeah.
You know what?

Speaker 2 $2,000 surgery? I had to get my dog?

Speaker 2 Oh. No, you know,

Speaker 2 her ear filled with food. You got him, you mean, now, after the surgery.
No, I'm not doing that. Oh, I thought you were.
I don't believe in that. What?

Speaker 2 You don't believe in

Speaker 2 gender identities?

Speaker 2 I'm not going to impose it on my dog.

Speaker 2 The dog can decide for herself. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's just going away. I didn't get the surgery.
I'm by itself. Yeah, it's just going away by itself.
Yeah, veterinarians are kind of a scam. They're scammers.
Yeah. It's very low standard.

Speaker 2 This guy was like making it sound like. You know what makes me think that veterinarians are a scam? Because because like a doctor has to go to school for what fucking six seven years

Speaker 2 well eight years eight years you go to medical school for eight years and then a residency and a residency yeah to do medicine on one type of animal and a vet yeah you know every animal a vet's like what three weeks of right night school yeah i can do a horse and a fly no literally they have like there'll be somebody like you're doing a golden retriever's testicles and then somebody comes in with a parrot and you're like oh we got to do a beak transplant.

Speaker 2 And you're like, I don't understand. How do you know all of them? Right, it doesn't.

Speaker 2 You're lying. It is.
They're lying. They're just seeing what happens.
They're lying. They know how to do stitches, and then they fucking just do it and cross their fingers.

Speaker 2 They're mechanics. You ever see the way they prepare a bird for surgery? No.
They knock it out, and then they tape its wings.

Speaker 2 They look really stupid.

Speaker 2 I love them, dude. I love Macaws.
You got to get one. I don't know.
When I was was in college,

Speaker 2 you always do, you always go engage in fantasy. We've been lucky that we've pursued the thing that we wanted to do and had enough success that we can actually do it.
I have a lot of gratitude.

Speaker 2 And, you know, I know if I hadn't, you know, I would have some job, whatever it is, and be like, oh,

Speaker 2 and I'd spend all day long, yeah, I'd hate it, but I'd spend all day long being like, what if I could have been a comedian? And I'd imagine that, you know, well, I could get started now.

Speaker 2 And, you know, maybe I would do an open mic or something.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 but if you have the thing, you still engage in fantasies.

Speaker 2 and it's like i often think like just how sick it would be to to like work at like some kind of like nature preserve and just do field trips yeah and just like be like check this guy out dude talk to kids

Speaker 2 show the kids this stuff yeah that'd be cool his beak's that big he has to get the juices out of the coom quad yeah and

Speaker 2 wild coom quats a lot of people don't know this about toucans but a big problem with toucans in captivity is they get diabetes because in the wild they eat fruits and then owners get the two cans and they're like, well, I'll feed it fruits because that's what it eats in the wild.

Speaker 2 But wild fruits aren't like cultivated fruits. Like cultivated fruits have way more sugar in them.
Like natural fruits are disgusting.

Speaker 2 Like the original banana, when we found it, they weren't sweet at all. You know, they had to breed them.

Speaker 2 It was like a plantain.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so people get a two can and they feed it. They're like, oh, it wants strawberries.
You know, and then it gets fucking diabetes. Driscolls.
They're from the supermarket.

Speaker 2 Their tongues will fall out. Will they? Yeah, it loses because their tongue is so big, it loses circulation.
It just fucking falls out. And then they die.
It's very sad.

Speaker 2 Those are beautiful animals. Those are great birds.
Toucants. Yeah, yeah.
When I was in Costa Rica, I saw a bunch.

Speaker 2 I also saw a bunch of macaws that were all like populating in one place, and it was like the loudest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. It was like loud.
It was like

Speaker 2 a truck. They were ever at a birthday party for you.
A two-year-old. They were in Kinsiniera style.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They had a bed. Yeah.
A cookout. I'm a call a cookout.
Yeah, yeah, at the park. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I remember, like, yeah, Mexican families, when I was growing up, would love, they'd just have the biggest birthdays.
It would always be at the park.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And that John Wilson show.
They had a

Speaker 2 they had like a they were doing like a an episode on pollution and like noise pollution. He starts off getting his ears cleaned.
Oh, yeah, I saw that one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then he goes, and then there's a he interviews a lady. He's like, yeah, my downstairs neighbors, they're having a birthday party for

Speaker 2 a one-year-old at two o'clock in the morning. I'm like, okay.
Yeah. I know.
And then

Speaker 2 it's a Burning Man couple. And I was like, well, color me fucking racist.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I did not see that one coming. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. I really thought it would be that.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I saw that exact episode.

Speaker 2 I was going to tell you about that because he gets the earwax taken out. Yeah.
And that was exactly what you were complaining about a couple months ago. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And that was, I tell you, I I watched the amount of earwax that came out of his ear.

Speaker 2 He can't hold.

Speaker 2 You had a lot more. I got a candle that came out of my ear that he couldn't hold

Speaker 2 what came out of my ear. Yeah.
The amount of wax. Did they let you keep it? I did it myself.
You did it yourself. Yeah.
You got to be careful. Do you want to rupture your ear?

Speaker 2 No, they make a thing now. Because I used to go to CVS and they would always have like yourself.
Do it yourself kiss.

Speaker 2 And throughout my entire life, anytime I've gone to CVS and gotten one of the remove your own earwax kits, it ends up with a trip to urgent kit.

Speaker 2 Almost every single time, it's just fucking, I jam the plastic. I can't fucking

Speaker 2 be deaf. I'm like, it's fucking, it's like, there's like fluid leaking

Speaker 2 my ears. Right.
I'm like, there's ringing happening. And I'm like, can you fix what CVS did to me? And,

Speaker 2 but now they've got a thing finally.

Speaker 2 The last one I bought, last time I was at CVS, the.

Speaker 2 Last time I went to get my ears cleaned, it was like a little screwdriver. It was like a screw.
It was like a drill, like a plastic drill that you twist in.

Speaker 2 So it has like a stop so it can't hit the eardrum? Yeah, yeah. It was like a spiral that's supposed to like dig it out.
And that did nothing. It just kind of like blopped around the ear wax.

Speaker 2 But now they have a thing. It's like a syringe.
And on the tip of the syringe, it's like a spear with three

Speaker 2 channels on it. Yeah.
So the water comes out and it hits the back of your eardrum and then it pushes the wax through the channels in the syringe. So it just pushes it out.
How much do you get?

Speaker 2 All of it. I mean, it's cleared out.

Speaker 2 It was like a VW Beetle. I mean, it was like fucking, yeah, it was like

Speaker 2 a

Speaker 2 marble, but marbles are variable size. I'm trying to think.
It's like a slammer pog.

Speaker 2 Slightly less than a golf ball, I'd say. In totality.
That's fucked up. Yeah, it wasn't the shape, but in terms of volume.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 yeah, a little bit of a hydrogen peroxide to loosen it up. Yeah.
Wait 10 minutes, fucking, and then it's a fucking, yeah. Yeah, it's just, it's like squeezes out.
It's like toothpaste. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's disgusting. Unreal.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like peanut butter.

Speaker 2 Look like peanut butter.

Speaker 2 Do you eat it? No. No, you're the one that picks your nose and does weird stuff like that.

Speaker 2 I pick my nose because I don't

Speaker 2 have a big nose.

Speaker 2 Why is it like my girlfriend? My girlfriend's got a tiny little nose.

Speaker 2 She's not picking her nose. That's not an excuse.
When you get your nose stuffed up more. That's not an excuse.
I have a big nose. That doesn't make any sense.
And

Speaker 2 I'm more congested. No, that doesn't.
It doesn't make sense. No, it doesn't make...
No, that doesn't.

Speaker 2 That would be something like, oh, I'm a big ass, so I have to scoop feces out of my ass with my hand.

Speaker 2 It doesn't make any sense. Just blow your nose.
If you're making the argument that you have more boogers because your nose is bigger,

Speaker 2 you just blow your nose. I do blow it, but then I'm still boogery.
I'm just a boogery guy, dude. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Look, I'm a snotty booger.

Speaker 2 I pick my nose. We all pick my nose.
But

Speaker 2 I do it in a

Speaker 2 study, like moderate way. Yeah.
In a way that's. I do like this.

Speaker 2 No, you do it all day long.

Speaker 2 All day long.

Speaker 2 How many times?

Speaker 2 We've been sitting here for an hour and five minutes. And in that time frame, you've done it five times.

Speaker 2 it's not that bad that's once every 20 minutes you're picking your nose

Speaker 2 and i do this i scratch i do the scratch too yeah but i don't i'm not digging in there you're digging

Speaker 2 a lot of real estate dude yeah got a lot of real estate all right i don't think that's the issue

Speaker 2 i don't think that's the issue all right should we wrap things up you know i mean

Speaker 2 okay yeah we can wrap things up look do what you want do whatever you want i just say i know

Speaker 2 i know this about you. Everyone thinks it's gross.
I don't think you want to be known as a booger eater. I don't eat them.
I pick them.

Speaker 2 You think? And I put them in my pocket. You think I'm going to fall for that?

Speaker 2 You think I don't know what happens when no one else is around?

Speaker 2 Oh, that thing is the cameras. Not the cameras.
Just what I know.

Speaker 2 Who told?

Speaker 2 I think I told you. Yeah.
Well. I don't eat my boogers.
I don't eat my boogers. It's fine if you do.
It's fine if you don't, as long as you can find gratitude. Yeah.
At least you always have that.

Speaker 2 All right, brothers and sisters, thanks again for joining us this week. If you like the show, please support us, patreon.com/slash TAFS.
Next week in Washington, D.C. Washington, D.C.,

Speaker 2 September, I think, 19th, I will be at the Wilbur Theater in Boston. Please come out and then, yeah, I mean, Denver's already sold for this weekend, but be there doing the special.

Speaker 2 And then I guess Stephen's going out of town, but he'll be back

Speaker 2 mid-October or

Speaker 2 beginning of October. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's going to Greece as well. Yeah, and then he's thinking maybe like a three-week turnaround on the edit.
And then, yeah, just figure out a time to drop it. And then, you know, hopefully.

Speaker 2 Hopefully people see it and I can continue touring next year. It's going to be amazing in a way where,

Speaker 2 you know, it kind of makes sense. We can figure out a better balance with the show and touring where

Speaker 2 there's time to work on this and then maybe just you know one weekend a month or however it works out

Speaker 2 guys

Speaker 2 there are four episodes four interviews rare and you go

Speaker 2 stay tuned and a lot more guests that we're talking to right now so we have a lot a lot in the works thanks a lot guys thanks guys love you bye see ya