Guess the Lines Week 1, Micah Parsons Trade Damage, and an NFL Futures Draft With Cousin Sal

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All right, recording this.

It is Sunday morning, Pacific time, year 19 of Guest Alliance.

We are here.

Cousin Sal.

We've been doing this forever.

Quick story back in the Jimmy Come Alive days.

You were already doing this with one of your friends, but when we worked together

NFL season 2002,

we started doing it in like December.

We were sharing an office sitting next to each other, and you just would throw the lines at me, and I would guess them.

And

remember writing at one point, you know, this would be a great talk show segment someday, not realizing podcasts were coming.

Podcasts came in 2007.

We've been doing it ever since.

Our 19th year.

Next year will be year 20, Sal.

Yeah, I remember saying to you, I was like, all right, this is a great segment.

I don't know if it lasts 20 years, but definitely, definitely 19.

Definitely good for 19.

I also don't remember coming into this, a year like this depressed as I am.

But

we have a job to do.

We got a job to do.

No, no, let's talk about it because we haven't.

The Michael Parsons trade happened near the end of last week after

we had done our big over-unders podcast, like less than 24 hours after.

And somehow I had miraculously picked the Green Bay Packers to make the Super Bowl, which I feel even better about.

We had both gone under on your team.

And now it's the only case would be a possible Ewing Theory situation, which I don't think you're very excited about.

No, I'm not excited about any of it.

And it's all terrible.

Like, you know, like, I do appreciate you holding off like on the snark and texting me because that oftentimes is the worst part of this, like which of your friends and what you need to respond to and whatever.

But as far as like the trade, I don't think it's good.

I, you know, I'm used to the other terrible Jerry.

At least he was predictable, you know?

Yeah.

And now it's like, you know, it's like if my kid gets shitty grades every semester, it's like, all right, what am I going to do about that?

But, oh, now he's stealing catalytic converters.

Whoa, timeout.

All right.

Now we got to do something here.

So I don't know.

I made a list of 12 reasons this trade sucked, and I'm not going to bore people with them, but there are.

Are you going to give them now?

No, I'm not going to, I'm not going to go through it.

You can't do the tip notes.

I'll tell you

the biggest one is his timing is always the worst, even if you like what they got, right?

They could have gotten more in March.

They could have gotten more in June.

They could have gotten more.

Either he waited too long or he didn't wait long enough.

Like if he had waited four weeks, I guarantee Micah Parsons, and we were going to lose probably two or three of those four anyway.

I guarantee Micah Parsons getting a hit at a million and a quarter a game would have been like, all right, Jerry, we'll take your offer, whatever, you know?

So, um, I don't know.

It's just, I, I, I, too late first rounders.

If you look from 26 to 32, this is another one.

That's where the Packers pick is going to be.

Like, it's depressing if you look at the last few years.

It's like a slew of Cole Strange types.

That's it.

And I'm not counting on them.

Shots fired.

Sorry, sorry.

I have to get out of here.

I'm just sitting here, man.

i thought we were talking about you're doing a good job yeah no no but i'm not counting on them to do a good job packaging those picks or doing a good job with the free loot and yeah kenny clark is fine i know he was an all-pro and but his best years are behind him he's 30.

so i don't even know what else to say about this good job jerry you it up again well today they gave uh bland a huge extension like 90 million so it's like Well, now that we don't have to pay Michael Parsons, we have more money to overpay some of the other pros in our team.

I don't even know if he's a top 20 cornerback.

Great job, Duran.

You didn't hold out.

You played that perfectly.

Hopefully, you can stop the run because that's what's important here.

Here's, you mentioned the leverage piece.

This is the part I had a lot of thoughts.

Obviously, we haven't done a podcast since this happened on this podcast, at least.

But

if you just did like,

if you fed it to AI, if you fed it to Jet, chat GBT, whatever the F it's called, and you said, when will we have the least leverage in a Micah Parsons trade?

Right.

It would, when would it be the least helpful to us and make the least sense?

You would say the end of August,

where it's like, you've already missed last year's draft.

You're already six months away from whatever draft picks you were going to get anyway.

And you're probably not getting a player who can help you more than Parsons this year.

So worst case scenario, you just roll this over, you play chicken with him all year.

He comes back eventually.

You have him for this year and then trade him in March.

Because the thing I always talk about with trades is like, is this trade still here six months from now?

Like, guess what?

The Packers are still doing this trade in March.

Oh, we have to give up just two mediocre first rounders and a guy in his 30s for Micah Parsons.

Yeah, we'll do that in January.

We'll do it in February.

We'll do it in October.

Would he have had more leverage in October?

Probably.

It almost just seemed like they didn't want to deal with it anymore.

And he's old and he's like, I'll show him.

Yeah, you showed him.

You're probably showing him in the Super Bowl.

And he got a giant contract.

So, what was the point of this?

Right.

And, you know, okay, the one thing I'll say is, oh, the whole team hated him.

I don't even know if that's true, but the front office hated him.

The players hated him.

The podcast really changed them.

Podcast, remember what happened with the Royals, right?

Harry and Megan, whatever.

Everybody loved.

They did a podcast.

Everybody hate him.

Okay, maybe there's something to that.

But did they do a podcast?

I don't remember that they did the podcast.

We'll have to look at that.

They actually did the podcast.

Maybe Maybe we could check that while we're doing this.

Definitely no, Harry didn't do the podcast.

Harry got paid to do the podcast.

That's what happened.

Yeah.

He did the podcast.

Anyway, go ahead.

No, so, but you're right.

Like, yes, wait longer.

You waited too long, but now wait even longer.

And what's the downside?

All right, maybe you could tear his ACL while holding out, playing pickleball or something.

That would suck.

Then his value.

The odds are one in a thousand that that's happening.

And Schefter said at least one team made other team was like, oh, I was interested.

We would have given more for micah parsons and jerry himself said 15 teams contact them like that's a lie because then you would have gotten a better offer than what basically like khalil mack uh fetched so it seemed like it was six teams albert breer i thought had a really good kind of now they tell us piece about why they did this and he said six

and i'm wondering like maybe other teams offered the two first but they they really like kenny clark and somebody that we both know who's who's been a big cowboys kind of watcher over the the years was like the Cowboys get infatuated with guys.

That's right.

They love those players.

Like when you sign Mingo, it's like, oh, we've always loved Mingo.

When you traded for Roy Williams,

our scouts loved him.

And they probably liked Kenny Clark for like eight years.

And they're like, oh, finally, our chance to get Kenny Clark doesn't mean you do the trade.

This really reminded me of the Mookie Betts trade.

Not to bring a Boston team in this, but when it was clear, like they weren't going to figure out the contract, they just didn't agree on what his value was.

But they also could have kept him for one more year, had him play out his contract year, and then just taken the draft picks for him when he went somewhere else.

And instead, they were like, nope, got to do this now.

And they made a fucking terrible trade.

They got Verdugo and Wong and Jeter Downs.

They got 11 cents on the dollar.

I would have taken it for a year.

Kenny Clark, Verdugo.

I would have taken it for sure.

But we didn't even get two first-round picks of that trade.

But it reminded me of that where when it happened, everybody, there was no Zag.

And that was the funniest thing about this Michael Parsons trade.

There was no zag.

There was nobody like,

actually, here's why this makes a ton of sense for Dallas.

Like when everybody who follows football, covers football, cares about football is like, that's the dumbest trade I've ever seen.

Yeah.

Probably not a good trade.

Yeah.

And

they extended other players because of like the DAC extension doesn't really make sense now, right?

Like the CD extension doesn't make sense now if you don't have Micah there.

Like that, you now have to replace one of, if not the best player at that position for the next few years.

And the thing, the difference with Mookie Betts is Mookie had one more year, right?

He was playing out his contract year.

Cowboys have Parsons under contract for a year to franchise them for franchise them twice, right?

So that's why waiting longer, I think we agree is the way to go.

God damn it.

Not taking advantage of,

I get it, if they're like, it's too much money.

We don't think he's worth it.

It ruins the seller cap for our team.

Cool.

But you still had him under contract for this year.

You still had had a chance to be good this year.

You still had a chance to move it to October and have some team that doesn't realize that they were going to be good and they're good.

And they're like, we'll give you two firsts and a second.

You know, I just, I thought it was so crazy.

And I feel bad for you because I know you love the Cowboys.

We went to

the stadium together.

It's been a long time for you.

That Cowboys documentary came out.

You came on here.

uh about a couple weeks ago and we talked about the glory days and a big

Jerry a little more after that.

I was like, Yeah, nice appreciation.

But I think he was like, Oh, everyone thinks they know me.

They think I'm going to give in at the last second.

Uh-uh.

So now maybe that was his thing.

Like, I'm going to throw a little curveball here just to fuck with people.

Well, this was not a curveball.

This was a slider in the dirt.

And you can't recover from losing a guy that's good.

It certainly took the Red Sox four or five years.

I mean,

there's eight guys that really, truly matter in the entire league.

And you're talking about any position, you know, and the fact that he wasn't like Miles Garrett was available for a split second, but he's what, four years older than Parsons?

You know, and it's usually even the stupid Browns knew to sign their best player.

Right.

That's the thing is usually when these guys become available,

they're still not arrow pointing up toward like the apex of their career.

They're usually like, ah, they probably peaked two years ago, but they can still be at near that level for a couple more years.

This was like the rarest chance you could ever have of getting somebody that hasn't even maybe been the best version of himself yet.

And I think then to trade them in the NFC is the other thing that has to drive you nuts.

You're like, really?

You can't just send them to fucking Denver or Tennessee or somewhere, anywhere.

Yeah, Jerry, you have history with Green Bay, right?

Like, you know, first of all, the Mike McCarthy stuff.

All right.

There was that weirdness there.

The third and 20, obviously, with

Rodgers years ago in the the playoffs, you had the Des catch.

Like, stay away from the Packers.

They're not in our division, but they're our enemies.

So he's just a

complete mess.

We covered this in the NFC over-unders.

You did not like this Cowboys team to begin with,

from a season standpoint.

It was pretty top-heavy.

Yeah.

And now you've lost one of the

number one person who made the team top heavy.

And you have these picks coming that you don't even get to use for April.

It almost makes more sense to zag now and just kind of tank the season, but I don't think they're going to do that either.

No, you're right.

They'll be somewhere in the middle and it'll suck.

And I guess, yeah, theoretically, if I had them at six or seven wins, what does it matter if they have three or four, right?

It doesn't.

And you're in a good conference.

Like they, they could conceivably be one of the worst teams.

You're going to have this Thursday night game that we're going to do when we do Guest Alliance, where they're playing this awesome stacked Eagles team.

And all the announcers, it's going to be NBC and it's going to be Collinsworth.

I just can't believe they traded Micah Parsons.

Al, I just, I would rather slip my throat with a razor blade than do that.

Al, like, you just know that's going to be three hours of it.

Yeah.

Something's missing with this Cowboys defense.

I guarantee you can't put my finger on it.

Is he still with Al?

I don't know.

Did you make that announcement?

Al,

Michael Parsons.

Was it Mike?

Oh, yes.

Come on, man.

Let's get it.

My first guest of lines mistake.

Micah Parsons.

He just wrecks games.

He wrecks them.

He wrecks these games, Mike.

Mike, why am I calling you Al all year?

You got to correct me by week eight.

Mike, are you Al?

Are you, Mike?

Just a train wreck.

Listen, we're both old enough to know these trades.

There's going to be no scenario where this is a good trade.

Yep.

None.

The Packers are going to be one of somewhere between

first and eighth, I would say, in the league, right?

They're going to have at least 10 wins, probably 11.

They might even be really good and be like a one seed, which would be hilarious.

You play them this year, don't you?

Yeah, it's week four.

You know, yeah, and I'll let you go wrong there.

I can't root for them now, so I'll sell some of that.

I mean, after we got off with the pot, I bet some Packers win the NFC and love to win MVP.

So I'm happy to sell some of that at a huge discount to anyone listening.

I did that.

I did a little more that week week once I laid out all the research for our podcast because the odds were still really favorable.

Buffalo Green Bay, I think, was 45 to 1 as a Super Bowl matchup.

Before the trade?

Before the trade.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, love was in the 20 to 25 range, but I took all the leak stuff seriously when the Packers thing probably came out 72 hours before that they were really intrigued.

And then the day we were taping the podcast, which was last Wednesday,

somebody had a report that Dallas was at least listening to calls.

And anytime I hear that, it's like the trade's happening.

Because once you're actually like, oh, what do you got?

Now you're just leveraging everyone against each other.

If you have somebody like Michael Parsons and I call you and I'm like, hey, I'd love to trade for Michael Parson, you'd be like, cool.

You're hanging out.

But the fact that they were listening to calls, you knew it was a rap.

I know.

I just thought a stubborn Jerry wins over everything.

You know, it's funny.

It's funny, but the same fellow we talked about who's been in the front office and knows this, I was like, he was on the road.

He's like, what did they get for him?

I was like,

he said, I said,

he said, two, two first.

I'm like, keep going.

He said, wow.

All right.

Three.

I said, no, keep going.

Four.

I was like, no, go the other way.

Go the other way.

He's like, go backwards.

He's like, you're kidding me.

Two?

That's terrible.

Can you guess a 30-year-old defensive tackle?

How about that one?

Yeah, throw that in there.

I feel bad going after Kenny Clark.

He's a fine player.

Good player.

Yeah, seems solid.

Yeah.

Might be a body.

Everyone loves him in the locker room, apparently.

I just like,

the one thing that I got to throw my body in front of was people comparing this to Luka Doncha's trade.

This was not the Luka Donchic's trade.

No.

In basketball,

you basically need three guys to compete for a title.

And one of those three guys, if it's one of the 10 best guys in the league, you always have a chance.

Football,

really, it's the quarterback is the only untouchable position.

In any other position, you could talk yourself into a scenario where you could win that.

There was some stuff about how Von Miller was the last elite pass rusher to win a Super Bowl.

That was 2015.

So if you're building your team around, and this is like, you know, the most important guy on your team, the track record is it is a little harder to win the Super Bowl.

You need the quarterback.

In the Luca case, Luca is the quarterback.

That's like trading Mahomes or trading Joe Burrow or whoever.

So I can't compare it to that.

And the shock value was a 10 because there were not even any rumors about that.

Right, and no offers other than this one Laker offer.

We didn't know at the time that they were going to miraculously stumble into Cooper flag.

And now that's actually a really good trade.

So maybe you'll miraculously, maybe can you win the NFL lottery?

Have you looked at it?

What are the odds?

Yeah, I think we could do that.

I said we could get Arch Manning

probably for a fifth round pick now, but we'll see.

Get him soon.

Maybe with 32.

Oh, man.

I watched college football all day yesterday.

He would have been proud of me.

Nice.

It was kind of boring.

I wish

the OSU game was terrible.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Arch Manning.

So I bet on OSU

only because of the

this seems like a pretty big moment for this guy with the spotlight and being in Ohio State.

But the flip side of that is I parlayed it with Clemson because I don't want to call him out or mention him by name, but Van Lathan told me OSU wasn't going to win and that Clemson was going to kill them.

So I parlayed that together.

I really like Nussmeier.

Yeah.

I think that dude has it.

Like, that's the other thing with Dallas and some of these other teams, or like the Saints, if the Saints are awful.

And you end up with Nussmeier, whose dad played for

the Saints, whose mom was a Saints cheerleader.

Right there in New Orleans, who went to LSU, who grew up there.

And that's like, if I'm New Orleans, I'm throwing away the season, which might be what they're doing.

That seems like where it's going.

Yeah, Nussmeyer was the best of the quarterbacks who had a decent matchup.

There were good quarterbacks who went against Division 45 teams last year, last night.

He seems like a leader.

And then I like the fact that he grew up.

I was reading up on him watching the game last night because

it just seems like checks all the boxes, but also like has some real charisma.

Whereas I thought that was a rough one for Arch.

Yeah, Arch was bad.

I mean, what do you have?

Like 38 yards going into the fourth quarter?

And then

he missed like 10 guys.

I mean, and even on that final drive, that third and five throw, the guy's wide open.

It's a six-yard out and he couldn't hit it.

But I know.

The problem with college football is these games don't actually matter.

Well, now you can lose that game.

Yeah, you can lose the game and be fair.

But everyone, those two games, both teams, both of them will make the playoffs all four, probably.

Well, do you want to do guests of the lines or do you want to just quit this season?

I'm so sad.

I thought when you have this look on you, you don't normally have this look until the Cowboys are one and four in week five.

I thought we could, I counted Dallas Philly as a loss, so I'm whatever.

I wasn't going to go crazy, but going in, I'm happy to be doing this.

Like, what a stupid summer gambling this was.

Like, what color is the dildo going to be?

Is it going to be green?

Let's make green.

And then they'll throw it at the women and we'll laugh.

This was a ridiculous asinine summer.

So let's gamble on football.

I'm ready.

It was the worst.

It was the least amount of sports I think we've had all decade.

Because even if you go back to 2020 and 2021, COVID 2020, but then when the bubble came back at some point, the bubble bubble came back.

And then in 21,

the NBA season had been moved back because they started it later.

So we had that.

And then I think, then we had the Olympics that year too, afterwards.

Then we had World Cup.

Then we had, it just felt like this was the first time we had nothing going on.

Yeah, no great soccer, no Olympics this year.

The Little League World Series.

You could barely bet on these teams.

They're too unpredictable.

I don't know.

Yeah, it turns out 12-year-olds probably aren't as reliable.

We're just watching documentaries about women falling off yachts,

off cruise ships.

Right.

That's all we have.

We're in true crime.

We're going to take a break and then we're going to do week one.

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All right, Sal, you beat me in Guest the Lions last year.

Yes, I did.

So maybe there's hope for the Cowboys because the Cowboys

win in the NFC East and you beating me in Guest the Lions is about the same on a miracle scale.

Before we start.

How dare you?

There's eight Sunday one o'clock games because we have a Thursday night game, you're Eagles, Cowboys.

Then we have Friday night in Brazil, Chiefs, Chargers.

And then we have eight Sunday games.

And I'm curious,

what is,

how are you going to rank these from a multi-view standpoint?

We have Bucs, Atlanta, Cincy, Cleveland, Miami, Indianapolis, Carolina, Jacksonville, Vegas, Pats, Arizona, New Orleans.

Steelers, Jets, and Giants, Washington.

So for me,

obviously Pats, Vegas has to be one of them, but I also think that's a pretty good game.

And two new coaches and two new, you know, Gino, new quarterback, all that stuff.

Giants, Washington is a must.

I really want to see that game.

I'm excited for it.

I can't wait.

I still don't know what the line is.

And then after that, I don't know.

Would you have Tampa Bay, Atlanta as the third one?

Well, you have to have, yeah, that's in the top four.

We're picking four, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's your team.

It's Tampa, Atlanta.

It's Pittsburgh Jets, just from a narrative point of view, right?

You got to see a couple quarters of that.

Do you?

Field Rodgers going back.

Do you?

Is that going to be like 6-3 in the fourth quarter?

Interesting.

I hadn't considered do you?

Yeah, but that's all it's about.

I would argue the fourth one.

So I think that the guarantees.

are Tampa Falcons, Vegas Pats,

and

Giants Washington.

By the way, you can get all of these on YouTube TV if you get Sunday ticket.

I think I'm most interested in Carolina Jacksonville for the fourth one with the Travis Hunter piece.

Are you?

Yeah.

I think from

a multi from a multi-view standpoint,

I'm interested to see when he comes out.

Like when it's like, oh, third and 11, there's Travis Hunter.

Like, I'm just immediately going to be fixated on the TV.

Plus, like,

if there was ever a setup for Jacksonville to look good as a fantasy team, as a Trevor Lawrence team, all that stuff in week one, it's going to be this Carolina game because their defense is terrible.

So I think I'm leaning toward that one as my fourth, but I might be in the minority.

It sounds like you would go, you would go Pittsburgh Jets.

Well, I go Jets, but I don't think I'd put Giants Washington in there.

I don't care about that, but I think you're right about Carolina and Jacksonville.

Just a crossover garbage South game.

Get it out of the way.

Let's see which teal team wins.

Oh, I'm in for Giants Washington.

I think that's going to be a good game.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm excited for that one.

All right, let's do it.

Guess the Lions.

So I give the matchup.

Sal and I guess lines ahead of time.

And then Sal's going to tell us the actual line.

We did a couple wrinkles for this.

We both sent each other lines like a month ago because it's become with all the gambling discourse, it's become impossible to avoid the lines, although I've somehow avoided them.

So we have the caveat, you could move this by a point over the course of four weeks.

Like if, for instance,

Dallas traded the best player on their team,

that would be a scenario where you could move at one point.

Give a better example, something that would actually happen.

Or somebody got hurt or whatever.

So

our first game is Thursday night.

Eagles Cowboys, it's in Philly.

I got to ask, why isn't this a better game?

Usually this first Thursday night game is a good game.

Why isn't Washington in this spot?

How did we end up with the Cowboys, a team nobody thinks is even going to go 500?

It's just they have to give them the six pack of primetime games, right?

It has to be Philly at home defending champ.

And I looked through it.

There were some other options.

I could have gone some of their AFC matchups, but uh, I'm happy with it.

Get it out of the way so I could fully enjoy Sunday.

But you're right.

Yeah, this could have been a Sunday night game in week 10 or so.

Chris is going to be calling Mike Al, or maybe just I'll be calling Mike Al.

Yeah.

Um,

all right, so

I have the Eagles favored by nine and a half over the Cowboys.

Oh, okay.

So you moved that.

I said by that point, I said seven, and it's seven and a half.

So I get that.

It was actually as low in some spots as six and a half and the mic of trade moved at a point, which doesn't seem to make sense.

Like, I don't even know if he was going to play this game if he had suited up in Big D anyway.

But the only thing I can think of, there's been a bunch of week one stats that are pretty good because they have so much good

history of

bet making and odds shifting, all that stuff.

Week one divisional home underdogs against the spread since 2010, 23-7.

And I think that's the only reason that that line's not nine.

But how are we not teasing or parlaying the Eagles with something?

It's the teaser game of the week.

And shame on you if you didn't have some college along with this to carry over.

But it could also be Kenny Clark's VanDuel revenge game.

Who knows?

Shame on you, unless you had Clemson because Van Lathan told you, oh, see, he was going to lose.

Fucking Van.

Never listen to him again.

We should mention.

So we're doing this gimmick this year that we talked about on the over-unders, the Ringer 107.

We're betting five games per week.

And we have six shows going against each other.

And on Thursday, I'm going to do my five picks.

You're going to be doing yours.

So you're on Ringer Gambling.

We moved stuff around this year.

Very excited about it.

Ringer Gambling show is Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday.

And you're on at noon every day live on YouTube.

And on Tuesday, you're with Tate.

On Wednesday, you're with House.

House and Dubundo.

House and Dubundo.

And then on Friday, who's your Friday team?

Debundo and Danny Heifitz.

And

that's where we'll pick our five, right?

So each show picks their five.

That's my favorite.

So that's going to be you and Dubundo.

Heifits is just going to host that part because his fantasy football show is also going to be in Ringer 107.

We're going to have the Ringer NFL show in there.

The Thursday gambling show is in there.

Shil Capati on the Ringer NFL show, he's in there.

And we're making five picks a week.

The catch is four straight up.

The fifth one could be a straight up or a money money

parlay, as long as it's minus 120 or other.

The Thursday night games are not eligible.

If they were,

I would absolutely be putting Philly money parlay in with something.

Right?

Interesting.

Dallas isn't.

What's the scenario where you beat Philly?

Like, just you throw, you throw for 430 yards and get like a weird special teams touchdown.

That's the only thing I can think of.

I mean, a lot of fumbles on the like four tush-push fumbles that like we've never seen before.

I don't know how it would happen.

Tush-push just stops.

Kenny Clark's just stopping the tush-push by himself.

They changed the rule in the middle of the first quarter.

Maybe that's it.

That's how we win.

One thing with you, you do have a good special teams, and they shifted the kickoff this year

so that it's actually more beneficial to the return guys and you have a good return guys.

So maybe you'd have to get a touchdown.

Well, we'll probably have six or seven kick returns.

So that's good.

What do you have penciled in for George Pickens quits on a route and then

yells at Dak heading back to the huddle.

Like week four, range, or do you think he would do this this early?

I thought you said play four.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, week four is solid.

Oh, there's so much to look forward to.

Brian Schottenheimer's got it, he's going to have it all under control.

You should just watch the Netflix documentary over and over again.

I'm going to do it.

All right.

Friday night.

We're going back to Brazil.

Was that Friday's the game last year?

I remember this.

This is one, three years ago, you would have botched this and said, this is at LA.

You know, good job by you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Chiefs, Chargers.

Yeah.

No home field advantage because we're in Brazil.

I have no idea if the turf's going to be good.

The Chargers,

as we discussed in the over-under pod with the Rashawn Slater out for the year, stomach punch, which when you get one of those in August, it feels like that's just a bad omen for the year.

The one thing they do have going for them, Sal, Harbaugh, 5-0 against the spread in week one as an NFL head coach.

So there you go.

Plus the

division head-to-head week one stuff is pretty favorable for the Underdogs.

I have Chiefs favored by six and a half.

Would you say?

Wow.

Too high?

No.

I mean, you know this is in Brazil, but you don't seem to know this is in Brazil.

I had two and a half, and it's three.

It's fine.

So you're going to get a little resting.

I'm more betting the Chiefs.

I mean, you should bet the Chiefs.

You were so off there.

I think that line's going to go up to five and a half, six by game time.

Why wouldn't it?

Nobody likes the Chargers this year.

That was two of our favorite bets: the Chargers under this year.

Everyone likes to play.

We don't think they're a playoffs.

Everyone wants to take the Chiefs from 15 wins to eight.

And I mean, look, I think why it should be higher, they're 7-0 against the Chargers in the last seven games.

I almost, I feel like Harbaugh has the most pressure on him as a coach for week one.

This is a ridiculous, that's a ridiculous line.

I think the line should be at least six.

I'll be vindicated.

All right.

Wow, so you're beating me 2-0 already.

Yeah.

I'm a little rusty.

I'm like the Cincinnati Bengals.

I'm guessing the Lions.

The week one, I'm just a mess.

There's a cash out button if you want to hit it now.

We want to check out of the week.

Sunday marquee,

Detroit at Green Bay.

Do we see Micah Parsons in this game, do you think?

Yes, I do.

Yeah.

Well, if we do, he's going to do good.

There's some favorable Packers stuff here, including in the first three games of the season, since 2019, they're 15-3 against the spread.

I thought the Lions would be favored

a month ago.

I could only move my line a point.

If I really had to do this, I would probably make the Packers favorites, but I have the Lions by a half point over the Packers.

A half point doesn't exist.

You can't do that.

I had them at one and a half, so I moved it a point, and I'm at a half point.

That's not a real thing.

Well, that's what that's my pick.

Bet a team that doesn't exist.

Go look at the robots.

All right, all right.

You win.

I said Detroit by one.

So you whoever you have by a half wins because Green Bay is favored by two and a half now.

Yeah.

That said, I would have guessed if I wasn't handicapped by the original guess, I would have, I would have said Packers by two.

Okay.

Interesting.

So,

well, you lost.

Take the loss.

The week one division home underdogs, again, 23 and 7 against the spread.

So

that feels like by the time, and we're doing Ringer Sunday pregame again on Sundays on YouTube, on the Ringer Gambling YouTube channel.

That feels like you guys will be talking about that as like a rat line, Packers Lions, where everybody's on Green Bay, but the line is like one and a half.

And you're like, wow, isn't this line higher?

I'm suspicious of.

Packers money, Packers momentum, all that stuff.

I wonder where that settles.

Now I look at that.

I'm like, wow, Detroit plus eight and a half on teasers.

Pretty damn good week one, especially with all your underdog division things.

By the way, maybe we make a blanket statement.

Whenever we talk about teasers, everyone else should go do something else.

Go clean out your pantry or something.

Yeah, because nobody does teasers anymore.

And they don't win.

They change the juice too much.

Well, we're basically doing money paralyzed now, so we could call them MPs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But in this case, moving Detroit from two and a half to eight and a half was

anyway.

I'm curious to see where that settles.

Can Can I do a random get up guy?

Oh, yeah, let's hear it.

Okay,

I move my mic.

Oh, you're making adjustments.

I'm gonna yell.

I know it's week one, but this is a must-win game for the Green Bay Packers.

They cannot lose this game and go one game back against Detroit.

It will haunt them the whole season.

Great, thank you.

I love it.

Thank you.

500,000 views.

Yeah, just for that.

Must-win.

Is this a must-win for Green Bay in week one?

Guess what?

There are no must-wins until December, but have your content.

The watchables.

I have one, two, three, four.

Do you count Pat's Raiders as a watchable?

Yeah, I think so.

Or is it a fairly watchable?

No, it's good.

All right.

Well, I guess I have

five watchables.

It's a good week one, considering we shot our wad on Thursdays and Fridays, too.

Okay.

Bucks Falcons.

I know we don't like the NFC South, but there's a lot of fantasy guys in this game.

Yeah.

It's a scary stretch for Tampa because they basically have two receivers.

They have no worfs, at least for this game.

And then Atlanta is missing their starting right tackle, blindside protector for Penix and the guy who is his backup.

I'm just really interested to see what happens in this game.

I have, I had to move this.

Oh, no, I got Bucs minus one.

Bucs minus one.

It is in Atlanta.

Yeah.

I said Atlanta minus one and a half for all those reasons.

They're coming in a little bit gimpy.

They're injured.

But you're right, or righter, Tampa Bay minus two and a half.

So you get that one.

We should mention you picked Tampa Bay to make the Super Bowl.

I like them to make the Super Bowl.

And we talked about this game in particular in our NFC rundown.

Like, don't panic.

If Atlanta wins by 17 this game, just wait.

Tampa will be there when the cream rises to the crop, and Atlanta will eventually turn back into the Falcons.

I know it's week one,

but this is a must-win game for the Atlanta Falcons.

They could take control of the NFC South.

They have them at home.

They have to get this game.

You know, you should do that for all 32 teams, how it's a must-win, and then cut it up and then send it out to the various cities.

It'd be great.

I'm going to,

you'd like almost like syndicate it.

Yeah, syndicate your, your rant, your get-up rant.

So I put this as a watchable, which is ridiculous because probably in five weeks, this would be in the Poopfecta.

But Jags Panthers, just solely because of Travis Hunter, I'm in.

And I'm probably at scale one to 10, I'm probably like a nine on being excited just to watch how, where he plays and how that unfolds during a game, but I might be too high.

I also think this is the setup for the

every

week one, we have a team that looks awesome and fools everybody, right?

And I think it could be Jacksonville this week.

They're home, they're playing Carolina, bad defense.

Coker got hurt on the Panthers, who I think was looming as a little fantasy sleeper guy right after they traded to Adam Thielen.

So now the Panthers are down, uh, down at receiver.

Their defense stinks.

And, uh, and I can see the Jags lighting it up and people have been like, Trevor Lawrence, is he, has he officially arrived?

That's like settled down.

Yeah, settled down.

He has not arrived.

Carolina's defense is terrible.

Oh, come on.

I have the Jaguars favored by two at home against the Panthers.

All right, I get this.

I said three and a half, and it is three.

Oh, so I nudge you out there.

Yeah, I think you're right, though.

These are two quarterbacks people want to be good.

Make the case for Carolina to win the NFC South after they go 1-0.

Make the case for the Jaguars, even though I have them to win the AFC South.

But yeah,

this could be the biggest overreaction game.

Yeah, Brown came back for the Panthers,

but I'm pretty sure he can't play all 11 positions.

I haven't checked that, but I think he's only one of the 11 guys on the defense.

49ers Seahawks is going to be

that, I mean, the Seahawks,

I've gone all in.

I think they're the nobody believes in us team.

And then you go on the flip side with the 49ers, where no IUK, obviously.

Jennings doesn't seem like he's playing in week one.

So

they're down on receivers.

Seattle's home.

I think they're going to be underdogs.

I have the 49ers favored by two, and obviously it's going to be no surprise.

The Seahawks will probably be in my ringer 107 on Thursday.

You get this.

I had San Francisco by one.

You had the 49ers by two, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I am by one.

49ers favored by two and a half.

Yeah.

By the way, I have a theory now.

It's early.

It's too early.

We've only gone gone through like six games.

I think two and a half, which we've seen three times now, is the new one and a two and a half.

Is the new one and a half?

What do we call the one and a half?

The Mentos?

Tic Tac.

Tic Tac.

Yeah, because one and a half calories.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So we have to figure out what two and a half is.

We'll take suggestions.

I feel like the Seahawks, this is a must-win week one game for them, too, but I'm not going to do it because I've never done it twice.

This is a must-win game for the Seahawks.

Get up.

Coming up next.

Top five pass rushers.

Rams Texans is just a really good game.

It's in L.A.

There will not be a lot of Houston fans there.

I don't.

Did we find out if they're left tackles playing for the Rams?

I guess that's going to be like just monitoring all week.

Yeah, the Blood Cotts.

It's a stayaway for me, even thinking about betting until we find out what happens with that guy.

Right.

I have Rams minus two at home.

All right, you changed that.

You shouldn't have.

I had two and a half, and it is two and a half.

Yeah, I did change it.

Yeah,

I changed it because the left tackle might not play, and Matthew Stafford is in traction.

I thought it was worth going down.

Yeah, traction and blood clots are scary.

You've always been weirdly afraid of blood clots.

I don't know.

This feels like a hey, Texans' defense.

Let's see it.

Nice spot for them, right?

Little shakiness on that Rams offensive line.

Stafford maybe not wanting to get hit.

Like, let's go get our guy.

We got the best secondary in the league.

Let's just blanket some receivers.

I like the spot for the Texans.

I do not like the spot for the next team.

The Patriots are home for the Las Vegas Raiders.

And

I had this penciled in as a guaranteed win about a month ago.

I have no idea if Christian Gonzalez is playing.

And this is like a big topic right now with the Pats with

on the Pats text threads.

Hench may or may not have texted me about it 17 different times.

He's the best player in the defense.

He's the shutdown cornerback.

He hurt his hamstring a few weeks ago, and there's just been kind of radio silence on it.

So I would watch that.

On the flip side, the Raiders linebackers are really bad.

And this could be an immediate Trayvon Henderson breakout game.

But it's a little scary that the Pats look like you're just, oh, yeah,

something scares me about this game.

It is scary for you because you're a slight favorite.

I'll tell you that.

We haven't gone over the number yet.

But if you lose, though, you have to change your entire opinion of your team for the worse.

So I wish you a lot of luck in the words of James Baby Dahl Dixon.

Pats minus one and a half was my pick.

Our new favorite number, two and a half.

And I think I get it here.

Where is it?

Yeah, I said three.

It's two and a half.

You're killing me.

What's your lean in this game?

I think New England.

I think New England, but probably in a stupid way.

I'm not sure how.

I might try to buy the win and take the Raiders just to see if they're 21-20 where they don't cover, but they win, right?

Dumb shit.

Fairly watchables.

We got Steelers, Jets

in Jersey.

A hilarious matchup.

It's good.

It's a double revenge game, but neither guy is good enough to get revenge.

So I don't know what we would call that.

it's like up justin fields revenge game it's like is it and then aaron rodgers

he could barely move revenge game i don't know i know where it starts with re but i i won't say it but yeah or revenge yeah steelers i have uh i have the steelers favored in jersey by three and a half oh you moved that one too i did I went three, kept it at three.

It's two and a half.

Again, you got two and a half.

You're kidding me with these two and a halfs.

you're used to it i already lost

it's going to be hard for me

to not want to pick the jets when we get to sunday no no to pick the jets on sunday as a home dog and yet i don't want to and this is a non-bet if you bet on this game you're just desperate to bet on shit don't tease this game don't parlay it just play it straight up if you're going to do it anything can is possible in this game this is just sit back and watch it and laugh.

It's like you're watching Dumb and Dumber 2 with the kids.

You don't need any stakes going in.

Could you see the Steelers winning, but winning by a point and not covering?

That's a fun one.

And what's the Cousin Sal special for this game?

I haven't seen it.

I don't think they have that.

They don't have them yet.

They don't have that yet.

They're going to have that a week before.

That would be Jets to be winning at half and then the Steelers to win the game.

So you probably get about six to one on that.

Same game parlay.

I'm on FanDuel right now.

Don't they have the half bets?

First half spread.

You do the money line or just the spread?

Oh, first half winner.

Yeah, do it like that if you can.

Pittsburgh minus 110.

And then we do Pittsburgh minus.

Oh, no, we want to do the other one at minus 110.

This is some riveting stuff.

We'll figure it out.

Gahau's going to have to cut at least some of this.

Jets to win the first half.

Oh, plus 524.

524.

Okay.

Yeah.

There you go.

It could happen.

Get it off the board.

They did it five times the cash last year.

Honestly, you know, FanDuel, they just continue to improve the product, but also they're using some AI.

I think they told the AI to factor in the Cousins South special.

Did they really?

Even if they spit this out at eight to one, lower it like by 300.

Well, I think that's a good thing.

I think that's minus 800 two years ago.

Is it bad for the network if I sue Fanduel for that?

Because I don't think that's right.

I don't think they like the Cousins House special.

It's too, too lucrative last year.

Washington is home for the Giants.

I just wrote down under this one, oh boy.

How do you like this so much?

I do.

I like this one.

Underdogs of six and a half or more in week one since 2006, 49 and 27 against the spread.

We already mentioned that division underdog bet.

That's 23 and 7.

Every Giants fan I know, and the Giants fans, I think, are realistic with teams.

It is not a fan base.

They've won.

They don't need to do like the false positive.

They're just like, yeah, we suck.

We're never going to win with Daniel Jones.

I don't like our coach.

The Giants fans are in on this season.

Like across the board, they're like, I like the team.

I like everything I'm reading.

Dart is going to be in by week five.

We're going to have this crazy pass rush.

We're going to be able to run the ball a little bit.

Neighbors is a freak.

Dayball's in coaching for his career basically right now.

So I have Washington favored by eight.

Really?

I like the Giants.

I mean, I think your stat that you led with is going to, like, they have to keep it between six, six, and a half with the underdog in the division.

I said six, it's six and a half.

Yeah, I'm just getting absolutely slaughtered.

I'd like to apologize.

I mean, everyone thinks the Giant fans, they lead with the, and they have a great defensive front, but those four guys aren't going to score 20 points a game.

Something's got to be.

It is one of those fronts, though, that if they can get a lead or hang around,

I think they're in great shape.

If they're down 10, then I get a little worried.

But

I don't know.

I'd be scared of that game.

Every year we have the team in that minus six to minus seven range get upset in week one.

Last year was the Bengals against the Pats.

Like, it's just, you lock it down.

You know what's happening.

Here's another candidate: Broncos home against Tennessee.

They're in that range of,

you know, be careful.

Bonex, 8-0 is a favorite.

Rookie QBs having a play on the road in week one, eight and 21,

straight up, 13 and 14 against the spread since 1970.

Number one pick QB since 1970 in their first start, 5-22, 8-20 against spread.

All kinds of lines.

And then the Broncos, when they won last year, they'd win big.

I love the Broncos.

I picked them to make the AFC title game and to win the AFC West.

And I have the Broncos favored by seven and a half.

Yeah, you stayed with that.

You didn't change it.

It is exactly seven and a half.

I went seven.

So you win that.

And welcome to the jungle, Cam Ward.

Yeah, I went big on that last year, the

rookie quarterback not winning.

And it was Caleb Williams against Will Levis.

I think it was in Tennessee.

I think it was.

Tennessee was winning by 17.

And then Levis made throws.

He's so mad.

He was the rookie quarterback there.

He made throws you've never seen before and never will to blow that game.

I think that's why he doesn't start in the NFL.

That could be it, yeah.

Poop Fecta.

I'm putting the Broncos in a money line parlay.

I'm just telling you now.

I hope that line stays around the same.

I've specifically haven't looked at Lions, done anything, but after we're done with this, I'm going to, there's going to be some moves.

Poop Fecta,

Colts Dolphins.

It's in Indianapolis.

You could argue this could be in the fairly watchables, but

no Jalen Waddell.

Not positive who the Dolphins' starting running back is going to be.

There's some A-chane

maybe playing, maybe not.

We'll know more of next week.

The Dolphins have the stink on them, almost to the point that I could see a zag where they're actually start out pretty good.

People are like, oh, nobody saw this coming.

I have Colts by one and a half.

You picked that exactly right.

I said Colts by one.

And yeah, Debundo and JJ have a very large stake riding on this game.

This is both their teams.

This is pathetic.

This is the healthiest the Dolphins will be, and they're a dog to Danny Dimes.

This is pretty bad for them.

Yeah, I was going to.

So we both went under on them at seven and a half, and we had some people in our life like, watch out, bro.

I don't want to say who it was.

It was like, watch out, bro.

We're going to be better than that, bro.

They're not even favored in this game so how are they seven and a half to for over unders is this can i lock you into a cross-off after this game you can lock me into not putting any money on this game because there's no way i'm betting on daniel dimes ever um the 0-in-1 team do we cross off we we like to get rid of one a week i mean or do we do can we cross and bolt off now you want me to

You want me to say this is a must-win?

I need like a shirt and tie and a jacket for the must-win get up thing.

So you're saying must-win for either team?

I think, in terms of our cross-offs, which are bulletproof, no cross-off has ever made the playoffs before.

Can I, can I nudge you in a slightly different direction for this idea?

This to me is like whoever loses, first coach fired, favorite immediately.

You're like minus 200 now in that, yeah, right?

Because, like, if Steichen loses this, you're now the favorite.

And if McDaniel gets, if they get embarrassed and killed, they're now the favorite.

I think that's a good way to go.

Yeah.

Bengals Browns.

Bengals

at Cleveland.

They have that weird,

they suck in the first two games of every year.

Joe Burrow won a nine against the spread in the first two games in his career.

The Browns, I can't even figure out who's starting a running back for them.

I'm in this guillotine fantasy league right now, and

it literally could be anybody.

It might be Nick Chubb.

He's not even on the Browns anymore.

He might be one of the starters.

I have no idea who's starting for them.

It should be Ford eventually.

Black goes the QB.

There's some Samson guy involved.

Miles Garrett is still there, so congrats to him.

It's in Cleveland.

I don't trust Cincinnati.

I will definitely not be parlaying, teasing the Bengals in any way, shape, or form.

I have the Bengals minus eight.

Okay, I get this.

I said six and a half.

It's five and a half.

Oh, Vegas Zone.

Our first Vegas zone, yeah, division game

for all the reasons.

I mean, he's one in ten this Zach Taylor in the first few weeks of the season, so I think that's why they have it at five and a half.

I think I said Harbaugh has the most pressure week one.

This Zach Taylor is another one.

If he loses another one of these clunker games to terrible Cleveland, um, come on, that's enough.

This might make the four box, though.

If this is close in the third quarter, we may have to put that on.

Somebody's sneaking into the four box from these bad games.

Yeah, somebody will get bounced.

Last one is Cardinals in New Orleans.

This has another, this is another one that I'm probably too low.

I was stuck with the original pick I had.

I think it's higher than, but I'm stuck with what I have to guess.

I have Cardinals minus four in New Orleans.

It's probably higher.

Yeah, why are you stuck?

I said three and a half, and it's five and a half, so you get it.

Wait, I got to add these up now.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

Oh, I'm still winning eight, six.

I thought it would be at least six.

Um, yeah, I'd say what world is Arizona, who I love this year, laying laying five and a half on the road.

I mean, this is you get beat by rattlers, so be it.

I'm putting this on a teaser

counter.

Don't tease Kyler Murray, just don't.

Why are you doing that?

You can't.

It's one of the rules.

It's like one of the foundational rules of the 2020s is don't put Kyler Murray in a tease.

You can't.

Don't do it.

I like them too much this year.

This has to be a W.

All right.

So if you're doing the symbotic strategy, my symbotics that I created 15 years ago,

whoever you really like, you just have to back them in week one.

So this is the perfect spot.

My question for this is, if the Cardinals are really good,

and we don't know that yet, but in week eight, we will know that.

What would this line, we'll look back.

We always look back at these week one lines.

They're like, wow, the Cardinals were only minus five and a half.

That would be like minus 13 now.

Yeah.

So could that be the candidate for this?

Yeah, that could be something like that.

Right.

The Saints are already tanking.

It's not even Halloween.

Or it's, wow, the Cardinals were favored by minus five and a half on the road.

How fucking stupid that was.

Or were the Saints not favored?

Jesus.

Remember what the Saints did last year with a more promising quarterback crew there?

They scored 40 points in each of their first two games or something.

against my team and then just fell apart.

We never talked on the over-under pod about your feelings on Kellen Moore as a head coach because your feelings weren't exactly

excited as

your offensive coordinator.

I can't say you were like a giant Kellen Moore fan.

No, no, and I'm happy for him and everything, but this is a, I think this is the worst spot a coach has been thrown into in a long time.

Right.

It is definitely a, I needed a job kind of spot, you know, that, because you don't ever want to go to a situation with a bad ownership group that also doesn't have a quarterback.

But if you think like, can I just hold on for a year and then we get Nussmeier?

Now I'm feeling pretty good.

Yeah.

And this was the last spot to fill, right?

Because I had to wait for Kellen Moore and the Super Bowl to end and everything.

But there was a point where you're like, wow, maybe Kellen Moore doesn't want this and nobody wants this job.

Maybe they're talking still in May about who's going to coach this New Orleans.

All of a sudden, Hugh Jackson is the head coach.

Sunday night, fantastic game.

Bills Ravens.

It's in Buffalo.

You can't do better.

No.

This is the best possible AFC game from an entertainment standpoint.

Sorry, Kansas City.

It might be the best game you could just put together, period, for a week one.

Ironically, I did pick Buffalo minus two and a half for this one.

Yeah, I did too.

And it's one and a half.

So it went back to the old one and a half, our friend.

But yeah, this is...

I don't know.

I'm trying to think of what our reaction is.

Is it going to be an overreaction coming on the pod after this?

If the Ravens win by a field goal, the new kicker bungs it off the upright at the buzzer, and you're going to be like, Are the Ravens a team to beat for the rest of the decade?

And I'm like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down.

Yes, you're right, they are.

And then everyone kills us.

I have the Ravens losing this game.

I mean, when I did all the prep before the season, I had this as NL.

I have them two and two coming out of the first four, and then like winning everything after that.

As you know, I'm all in on the this is Josh Allen's year.

I picked them to win

to

win the Super Bowl.

And

I just think you have to win this game if you're the Bills.

I wouldn't call it a must-win, but this is a good, we're here.

The AFC is going to actually run through us this year, and we're going to smack the Baltimore around a little bit.

What a great game.

I'm very excited.

It's very hard to beat at home.

We talked about it.

This is mid-90s Bills again.

They had like three losses in two and a half years at home.

So I'll see you.

right after

the game live on my youtube channel that will also run as a podcast as a a video podcast on Spotify.

But we're going boom, live, ready to go.

You won't be sad because the Cowboys will have played 72 hours earlier.

Yeah, it'll be so good.

You'll be in a good mood.

Yeah, yeah.

I can't wait.

Monday night, Bears Vikings in Chicago.

Justin Jefferson,

mild hamstring strain.

Not sure what's going on with him yet.

Adam Thielen, age 35.

They had to trade for him because Addison's out for three weeks.

JJ McCarthy in a possible Arch Manning spot playing in Chicago

and with a lot of pressure on him and a lot of eyeballs.

And yet I think the line is only Chicago minus one and a half.

It's Minnesota minus one and a half.

Wait, let me make sure I got this.

It's Minnesota minus one and a half, and that's what I had.

Holy macro.

So that's what it'll be.

And that's a win for me.

Yeah.

So I promise you, I'm going to be taking the Bears in Ringer 107.

You can lock that down right now.

Could this be the Levis Williams game from last year with the year two quarterback goes against a year one quarterback?

And we just assume that we, but then like Caleb Williams sucks this year.

I don't know.

I wonder.

I wonder.

Oh, interesting.

Wow.

I'm really surprised the Vikings are favored because on the over-unders, the Bears are eight and a half and the Vikings are nine and a half.

Yeah.

The Vikings are not healthy and the Bears are.

Right.

I think this line shifts.

I'm going to predict.

I think by game time on Monday, I think this is Bears minus one and that.

Too much Minnesota love here.

Yeah, I don't get that.

Rookie QB on the road.

Plus, like the chance to bet on a home dog on a Monday night in week one in a division matchup.

Like

too many things for that.

So I'm showing here.

It's like signing a golf card at the end of the round.

You know, like you won't, the win won't count.

Oh, you're like Tommy Fleetwood.

Yeah, I have to sign.

Just got to make sure I nail this.

10-7, 1-0 on the year.

Okay, good.

Now I could talk to Jim.

Not a strong start for me.

I'm just glad I know the lens.

Okay, we're going to take a quick break then.

Quick parent corner.

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And now it's time for draft recap presented by our friends at Yahoo Fantasy.

Yahoo Fantasy, the best place to play fantasy football this season.

Season starts on Thursday, September 4th.

You can do the new Yahoo Fantasy Guillotine Leagues.

Lowest scoring team gets eliminated instantly.

You play with your friends with the new draft with friends mode.

You can do a private league, do public league, knock yourself out.

Yahoo has everything.

It's the best place to play.

We did our big ringer, Yahoo fantasy draft, snake draft last week.

Controversial.

I took five quarterbacks.

I didn't like the options.

I had the first pick.

By the time it got back to me, I wasn't that excited about just grabbing one.

Got to the fifth round.

Some guys were gone.

I was like, screw it.

I'm just going to keep taking awesome guys, and then I'll address the QB later.

And I just rolled the dice, Caleb Williams, Trevor Lawrence, Michael Penix.

I just kept kept taking guys, hoping one of them hits like Baker Mayfield hit last year.

Was it a great strategy?

I don't know.

Did I have fun?

Yeah, I did.

And if it worked, I look like a genius, which is all I care about.

The season is almost here.

All you have to do is draft now at yahoofantasy.com slash ringer.

All right, parent corner.

We've been doing this for a long time.

My kids are grown up.

You still have a younger one.

For my parent corners, this season, I'm going to really have to lean on my parents versus my kids because they're way funnier and way more interesting.

That's fine.

So I'm just, all parents are eligible for parent corner.

And Sal and I are hitting the point where our parents are old.

We're taking care of them in a lot of different ways.

And

the comedy is just.

coming pretty pretty fast and furiously at this point.

But you still have young Harrison entering the sixth grade, plus Jack still in still in high school.

And I feel like you have more comedy weapons than I do.

So you go first.

Zoe Jr.

in college.

I have Archie Jr.

Zoe's like a 30-year-old at this point.

Plus, if I did a parent corner about her, she'd fucking kill me.

Well, that's the whole thing.

So that's out.

Yeah,

everybody's listening now.

Well, I recommended years ago you adopt someone because it's a kid.

And you could still do it.

And

I could put in a good word for you with our friend Brad, who I got custody of he's also he's screaming in another room right now for no reason i don't know why he was screaming at the ucla quarterback last night like 10 o'clock at night captain how is he a captain just nuts i mean and so we get custody of him every labor day weekend and the whole visit is just a an overload of beef ribs and orange shastus colon napping and screaming at commercials.

So, um, but when you say get custody, it's not like he belongs to somebody else.

You basically inherit him for Labor Day weekend.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So Jimmy Kimmel Live is off for a couple weeks.

So he hasn't seen people in a while.

So we bring him out.

So, right.

So, and then, so, and it's always fun.

The kids love him.

But, so I'll give an example, but some of the things he says.

Well, first of all, we went for barbecue.

The waitress said he ordered a beef rib, which is his favorite.

She says, it's on the menu.

And she's like, no, we don't sell those anymore.

He walked off.

He walked off.

And we didn't see him for two minutes.

And the waitress is like waiting, like, just waiting, confused.

And then he comes back.

He stood up and left?

He stood up and walked off.

And I thought it was for comedy, but then, like, two minutes, it was like a solid two minutes.

I was like, all right, but just wait here because I don't want you to have to come back.

And then he comes back and he accuses her of not looking hard enough for beef ribs.

Like, they're back there somewhere.

I know they are.

And she doesn't get the joke.

And then five minutes later, we had a totally new waiter, as it was.

So that's, that's just an example.

Good idea.

Yeah.

He's in the the basement.

He's looking at the shitty little trophies my kids have amassed over the years.

And he tells them,

listen, if you ever choose to commit murder, do not leave your trophies in the trunk of your car because that's the first place the cops are going to check.

And it's going to seem like you were looking to flee.

And so they're like, all right.

But

my favorite parent corner life advice thing is what he said to them.

Yesterday, he had sits in Dan.

He's like, listen, there are 7 billion YouTube shorts posted by parents where they think their kids are doing something smart or funny.

And out of the 7 billion, only four kids total are smart or funny.

So don't ever post videos of your stupid kids.

They're not going to be smart or funny.

Nothing against you.

It's just math.

It's not personal.

So that's my parent corner.

What did they say to the, what was the response to that?

More confusion, laughing, can't tell.

And by the way, I more or less agree with that.

Didn't you also, you had a thing where you walked to get ribs, but the bar was too packed and then Brad couldn't walk back.

So you then had to walk back and get the car to pick him up.

He wasn't capable.

He has an inexplicable limp for the last 25 years.

And it was kind of walking back to my house.

It was kind of uphill.

And I was like, why did you decide?

But why did you decide to walk anywhere with him?

Well, because it's parking.

It's Labor Day weekend.

It's crazy.

I can park by you.

I'd be closer than if I could try to get a spot.

So I don't know.

Yeah, we've been off more beef rib than we could chew there.

What is Brad on the iPhone?

What are his steps every day, you think?

Over a thousand?

Well, his phone

hasn't worked in six weeks.

He is pacing around a lot.

So a lot of shasta soda, cola.

My parent corner, so my mom has just gone up seven levels as a character.

Nice.

Including when David Chang asked me to be on dinner time live.

And I wanted her to the recipe for meatballs.

She thought that I wanted her to make the meatballs and

was preemptively upset about it that she'd have to cook on a Monday and do all this work.

And it was a misunderstanding.

I gave her four days to prepare.

But the problem was she had made ravioli for my son and me when my wife was away, but didn't tell us she was making it.

We didn't ask for it.

You know, she lives far enough away from us.

It's hard to get.

And she made the ravioli and she's like, hey, I made you guys ravioli.

You got to come and get it.

And Ben's, you know, he's about to be a high school senior.

He's the least reliable person probably on the planet.

I don't even ask him to go get me a water at this point.

And then I was like legitimately busy doing stuff.

So it was never able to get over there, which then made her mad and she held a grudge about it for like two, three weeks that she cooked us the ravioli and we never came to get it.

But we never asked for the ravioli.

So I had to like navigate that whole thing with her.

But as you know, with the moms, they start taking stuff personally.

But the thing I noticed, this, this so she watches these movies she she subscribes to brit box and all this stuff on amazon and she watches all these different things but can't remember the title or who was in the shows right and then tries to tell you about um

what the program was right so she was telling me about some movie the other day couldn't remember who was in it but it was like you know the english lady

There's a lot of English actresses that didn't really narrow it down for me.

And then it was something and there was a and just couldn't get it.

And I was thinking there should be a Shazam for moms.

And I can't remember if SNL maybe did a version of a sketch about this.

I can't remember, but

something like where they start describing what the show is.

And then I can just put it in the app.

Oh, that's true.

And it translates your mom where she's like, so it was on Amazon.

That English lady was in it and

she gets murdered.

And then there's, and it, but it's really good.

You got to watch it.

Like, there's just barely enough breadcrumbs to know what the show is.

And then I put it into my app, and it's, and AI spits out, like, that's actually the new movie with Kristen Scott Thomas.

There is no spy thing.

She has three daughters.

And that's just,

we just basically mom translate her.

I think she shouldn't have said anything because it's too good.

It's a good idea, and you should have just pursued it and done it.

I just done it by called, called Alec, had him like fund it.

Call our buddy Alec.

You should call it Shazama,

like a grandma kind of thing.

Shazama.

does your mom do this where she just gives you recommendations yeah it becomes like a game of charades like oh she was in the movie but then she broke up with the guy and then they had a baby

for an instant but she looks like her right right right yeah I don't so when you get you hit a certain point after you've had a couple kids and lived your life you just can't remember anyone's name anymore who's in a movie or TV show is that that where we've landed But it ends up being six degrees of, like, we could navigate it at this age because we remember the act of like, okay, I know he was in this thing, so I'll go to his IMDb or I'll go to that show, that movie's IMDB.

And like, if you give me a Scarlett Johansson, I can now go in and be like, all right, Scarlett Johansson, so this sounds like Shazama.

I think that's Shazama.

That's very

helpful.

It'd be great for like them remembering your friends, too.

Although that would be a little more difficult to detect, right?

What if it happened to that one guy who lived over on Hammond Road?

And yeah, his father went to jail for a minute.

Brad?

Yeah.

Trophies in the trunk.

I randomly, over the course of a couple of weekends, saw a bunch of my old friends, and it brought her delight to no end.

Yeah.

When the old friends get together, it really makes them happen anyway.

Shazama, a new parent corner.

Cahouse says that could be a half-baked idea.

I'll have to pitch it to wilds.

All right.

So we're going to take a break, come back.

The last thing we have on this podcast is we taped on Thursday, we did our whole back and forth uh nfl futures draft that you did really well on last year i did i won i had both uh offensive rookie and defensive rookie of the year so that's how i uh that's how i won it yeah so we just went snake fashion we did it fogo to chow style we just kept throwing props at each other until we ran a half hour there's a lot of dead air but it's nice it's a nice breezy listen but i do have a couple plugs here i want to we've got to talk about a couple things here three days a week Three days a week on the Ringer Gambling channel.

That's me.

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday.

I'm going to be

live at noon ETM.

I'm the Ringer Gambling thing.

And you're also going to be posting shorts and all kinds of posting shorts.

I have an interview with Michael Irvin this week.

I only have like a million things to ask him.

Tuesday starts with Tate.

We'll go over the college week.

Tate went three and one with his picks.

Kids good.

We'll talk about Bella Cheat's debut as an underdog against TCU.

Monday, and looking ahead to week one NFL.

Heavy, heavy MJ rumors on the sideline for that North Carolina game.

Yeah, there's some rumors.

There's some rumors.

So there could be two Jordans, the girlfriend Jordan and the Michael Jordan.

Double Jordan.

Real quick, I'm hosting an eliminator pool, $250,000 to the winner, Splash Sports, Cousin Sal's loser, take all.

But finally, our friend Tony's turn to kick someone out of our fantasy league on Tuesday.

And I just want to say that Tony is the most talented fellow I have ever met.

He was amazing as Mole and John Quincy Adams and Wendy City Heat, as Niall Standish and Crank Anchors, Jake Bird, possibly the funniest character in late night history.

He cooks, he snowboards, he fixes shit.

He's a renaissance man, incredible family.

His youngest son went off to college this week.

Just a special talent, great guy.

Can't say enough about him.

I don't know if you have anything nice to say about him, but I mean, once upon a time, me, you, and Tony shared after our friend Daniel got fired,

we took over his office.

And it was me and you and Tony.

And it's some of the best memories of my entire life, just getting to spend that much time with the team man.

So whoever he chooses to vote out on Tuesday, I'm sure it'll be a really good smart pick that he put a lot of thought into and if it happens to be one of us i'd still respect the hell out of him because he's that great of a guy yeah sounds like you're pandering like i really meant what i said but you're you're you're sound a lot like pandering but that's funny

one of the funniest people ever uh one of the nicest people ever huge fan of the celtic city doc sent me a nice long text about it and just somebody i really treasure as a human being yeah Good job, Tony.

Don't fuck this up, please.

Who's the favorite to get voted at?

I don't know.

It might be the guy wandering around with the looking at everyone's trophies in the next room over here.

I'm not sure.

All right.

Well, I'll see you on Tuesday.

Sorry about Michael Parsons.

We'll be back.

Give me a quick good job by you.

Good job by you, buddy.

Good job by you.

We'll be back with the futures draft right after this.

This episode is brought to you by the Wells Fargo Active Cash Credit Card.

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This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn.

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All right, you'll be watching and listening to this on a Sunday, but we are recording this late Wednesday afternoon.

Futures draft, second annual.

We had such fun with this.

Who won last year?

I did.

This one I won, you crushed with the Oberunders.

I had both rookies of the year.

So

it's basically one unit.

And if there's all kinds of crazy, like if you you do like a 10 to one and it hits, so we'll, we'll keep track of it.

What we do is somebody gets the first pick, somebody gets the next two, somebody gets the next two, and we go that way.

Futures that we like.

I'll give you the, do you want the first pick or second and third?

What do you want?

Second and third.

Okay.

I'll go first pick then.

Philly, Casey, and Baltimore ought to make the playoffs minus 110.

Oh, it's over.

You lost.

I'm locking it down.

Thank you.

Oh, that's good.

that's good.

That is a we've done, been doing this for I don't know how many years where we put together a parlay like that, and you say, Who's losing that, Simmons?

Right, right, right.

I can't come up with a team that loses that.

It would have to be a Kansas City catastrophe.

That was the only thing I can went through.

That's even odds about minus 110.

Yeah, minus 110.

Yeah, okay.

All right, you have the next time.

All right, I will go

in this order for the AFC North: Ravens, Bengals, Steelers, Browns, plus 310.

Okay, plus 310.

So you think Pittsburgh will be the three seed is basically the bet.

It's a smart bet.

Yeah, I think what it, what, what?

You're basically going Cincinnati versus Pittsburgh for that two spot.

I agree with you.

I think that's a good one.

I like that.

All right, what's your next one?

Oh, that's right.

I get two.

All right, I'll do this one.

This is very tough.

NFC North, and I know you don't like this.

Lions, Packers, Bears, Vikings in that order.

Lions, Packers, Bears, Vikings.

Plus 1,300.

Ooh.

It's tough.

It's like a newborn figuring out a Rubik's Cube, but I have to take a chance here.

You would reverse

Packers and Lions, right?

Yeah, I would do Green Bay winning that one, as we covered in the NFC podcast.

Yeah, I wouldn't.

The NFC North, I'm surprised you messed with that this early in the draft.

I know.

It's all right.

This is what I'm going to beat you.

Got a lot more.

Got a lot more.

All right.

I'm going to do a homer pick for this next one.

It's the New England Patriots to finish in second place

in the AFC East is plus

170.

As we discussed, I don't see any scenario where Buffalo loses the AFC East unless Josh Allen gets hurt.

I don't see the Jets or Dolphins passing the Pats.

Plus 170 grade odds.

I would almost rather bet that than the playoff.

I think those are better odds than the playoff line.

Interesting.

So I'm grabbing that.

That's pretty good.

I wrote that down, by the way.

I had second or third.

Let's say you were a millionaire.

Let's say you put $100 million on plus $170 and $100 million on plus $220.

You can't lose that.

They're coming in second or third.

So the only way you lose that is a third Drake Mega Serpus.

Okay.

Maybe.

And my other pick.

Which I really like, and I'm surprised you didn't take it off the board.

This is on Fando.

This is one of the ringer specials on Fando.

New Orleans or Cleveland.

Yeah, shit.

Under three and a half wins,

minus 130.

That's good.

So one of those teams has to suck, basically.

And I think both of them might suck.

I actually wish there was a, you could do both of them at the same time.

But

I just don't see any scenario where both of those teams win four games.

You could have that wrapped up by like Thanksgiving somehow.

I feel good about that.

I like backing the teams with the worst quarterback situations in the entire league.

All right, you're up with two.

All right.

I'm up with two.

All right.

I'm going to steal this from you because I know you like it.

Jordan Love, MVP.

20 to 1, you said?

25.

25.

Great.

I'll take it.

Love Matthew Golden.

Love that offense.

Really smart.

I should have taken that.

God damn it.

Carolina, Cleveland Giants.

In December, he's in the conversation at 20 to 1.

You got one more.

I'm going to go Chase, offensive player of the year, plus 800.

You know, everyone's picking this guy first overall in every fantasy.

That's probably a reason.

Henry and Barkley slow down.

I think this leaves the door open.

That's 17 touchdowns and 1,700 yards.

So wide receivers do hasn't won in three years.

This is how you won last year.

You went big numbers.

Big numbers.

What do you think?

Big chances.

Even odds, Patrick.

Well, I'm going to have to take a division.

Wow, I already did that one, though.

You want to tap out?

Well, we're doing Fogo to Chow Rules.

I love it.

Which

means we just keep doing props back and forth until somebody quits.

Someone throws up.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm going to do

that.

Those aren't great odds on that.

Fine.

I'll do this one.

You're rattled now.

No, this is a good one.

I'm surprised you didn't take it.

The odds aren't great.

Miami, Cleveland, New Orleans, and Tennessee all missed the playoffs.

Wow.

I have it right there.

Plus

105.

Yeah, it was was like even or 105.

Shit.

So who screws that up?

Tennessee?

Nobody.

That's good.

Tennessee, maybe going nine and eight, getting a seven seed.

I mean, it's your Brown Saints bet,

but you're giving yourself more leeway, like three or four more wins.

Well, I'm going to double back up on it.

I won't do that.

I already did that.

Okay, this is a good one.

I like this one.

Denver or Green Bay to be the one seed in their conference plus 550.

Just a fun way to bet on Green Bay to be the one seed, but then you get the Denver odd state.

That's on there.

One of those two.

Yeah.

Denver or Green Bay plus 550 as the one seed.

That's on there.

They don't have first coach fire, but they have Denver or Green Bay.

Denver or Green Bay.

I get to bet on Matt LaFleur and Sean Payton.

Okay.

I get Bo Nix or Jordan Love.

Good times.

All right.

You're up with two.

All right.

I will say,

all right, I'm going to do the NFC South.

I shouldn't, but Tampa Bay, Atlanta, Carolina, New Orleans, plus 500.

I like that.

I feel like there's some hedging to be had in there.

Plus 500, that's it?

Plus 500.

What do you mean that's it?

That should be more?

New Orleans is kind of locked for fourth.

Yeah.

What's your next one?

I'll get one more.

Aiden Hutchinson, defensive player of the year.

Plus 700.

I think he gets a sympathy vote.

He puts together numbers like he did last 700.

Plus 700.

He had seven and a half sacks in five games.

He was on his way to shattering definitely a personal high, but for the year,

if you remember, I had him in our futures draft and he was like 14 to 1.

Yeah.

That one really hurt.

Okay.

We're going to go Burrow most passing plus 500 that he has the most passing yards in the league.

I was a little scared of the most passing bets.

But in this case,

I think he's the only guy who could actually throw throw for 5,000.

Yeah, he played 17 games.

Hit a lot.

What did he have last year?

Yeah.

He's the only one I could see.

That's good.

5-1.

That's good.

And then I'm going to double up on Joe Burrow.

Burrow throws for 4,500 plus yards.

I saw this.

And the odds on that one are plus 165.

So it's almost a little bit of a hedge on my most passing.

Basically, if he gets hurt, I lose both.

You're up.

These individuals are so tough because of the week 18 you don't know all right i meka bouca

screamed about that a lot offensive rookie of the year 16 to one i think this bucks offense gonna be dynamite lots of opportunities lots of favorable matchups with godwin in or out who knows you said it brian thomas type year 1300 10 touchdowns it's really good the number 16 to one on that 16 to one jesus the number one overall pick has won the award only once in the last 13 years i thought that was interesting so uh it was 40 to one earlier in the year but I'm going 16 to 1.

Okay.

What's your next one?

Next one, Mike Green, defensive rookie of the year.

This is a guy on the Ravens.

Where you're going?

Deep Cut.

Deepoy was his nickname in college at Marshall for defensive player of the year.

So he could be explosive.

I know there's personal issues, maybe.

He dominated the senior bowl.

He left the senior bowl early.

He was like that good.

The Ravens were second in sacks last year.

So it's 22 Edge Rusher.

Don't forget that name.

For the odds, 1,100.

would you describe our friend brad as having personal issues all of them

every single personal issue every conceivable personal issue

okay

i'm gonna do denver makes the playoffs and cincinnati doesn't make the playoffs that's a parlay for plus 230.

you like that one yeah that's pretty good yeah denver playoffs cincy interesting that you could do that i mean man there was a day when there was no way you could double You know why we could do that?

Because that was a ringer special in FanDuel.

That's great.

And then

I don't need to do that yet.

Okay, here.

Let's do this.

Maybe

Geno Smith, Pete Carroll,

Tom Brady, Brock Bowers, and the Las Vegas Raiders.

Eight plus wins, plus 150.

I think oh, at least eight and nine.

It's good.

I had to grab that one.

That's solid.

What do you got?

All right.

I have

okay.

There's a new award.

Do you even know this?

Protector of the year?

I saw that.

Penny Sewell consistently earns like the highest blocking ratings of PFF, you know,

including leads the NFL with a 95-1 PFF, 23-24.

Deion Dawkins and Andrew Whitworth got together and created this war.

I don't know if they threatened, but there's a new OC.

I get it.

But if he plays this game, I don't see it mattering.

Penny Sewell,

plus 460.

The only one who could challenge him is Big Dom considered a protector.

I do worry about that.

It's almost exactly what he is.

What's your next one?

Robert Salah, Assistant Coach of the Year.

Oh, God.

That's an award?

Yeah, baby.

Is that on FanDoor?

Sure.

Plus 800.

Wait, I got to look this up.

Hey, Cody.

What site are you on?

They give us season leaders or awards.

Awards.

It's like the last one.

Oh, my God.

I didn't realize it went that far.

Pick one.

It's fun.

Those are fun.

Oh, well, then I'm doing Aiden Hutchinson come back of the year plus 270.

All right.

Let's take that right off the board because I didn't see that was available.

You don't like Rogers?

No.

I do not.

And then,

ooh.

Oh, the assistant coach of the year.

A lot of good,

a lot of good choices.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Take Matt Patricia.

I know he's a college guy.

I'm not ready to do that yet.

I'll do this here.

Green Bay over nine and a half wins.

Chicago over eight and a half wins.

Plus 370.

I think that hits.

Feeling good about that one.

You need them to split, right?

Yeah.

Okay, that's a good one.

All right.

We mentioned this.

We were talking about this at Hercules.

Hurts to have the most rushing touchdowns, plus 800.

It's ridiculous.

Yeah, he does.

They didn't change that rule for Neanderthals.

I don't know why that tush push is there.

He has 42 rushing touchdowns in three years.

He's always around 15.

Cook had more than him last year.

Gibbs and Henry only had one more, I think.

I like Hurts plus 800.

I'm trying to think who beats this.

Out of those guys?

No, just in general, who is.

I mean, Barkley's right behind him if they want to make make an example of it.

Chevyon Henderson?

What's your other one?

Mike Evans, 1,000-plus yards, minus 130.

11 in a row, right?

Every year he's played, he's had 1,000 yards.

Great bet.

Minus 130?

Minus 130.

Week 18, home against the Panthers.

What number would you be comfortable at for him?

I mean, you saw last year what they did.

They stacked it up.

They just threw to him every down.

They were winning, and they threw to him.

So he'd be like at 840 yards, and they're just going for i wrote down 650.

i think he can get 350 yards in that last game all right those are mine that's really smart did you do an afc's bet

i don't think so all right well i'm gonna do it i thought you did it what'd you do at the top

i did nfc south okay nfc north buffalo new england jets dolphins exact order plus 600.

I'm going to step in on that.

We love that.

Yeah.

I just like the odds because Buffalo and New England lock those down, and you're just arguing.

That's pretty good.

That's pretty damn good.

And then,

oh, this is a fun one.

Nico Collins, most receiving yards, 10 to 1.

Really?

So that's basically

that's Chase missing like two games with calf tightness, Jefferson being JJ McCarthy, and then all of a a sudden Nico Collins has the most touchdowns.

Yeah, that's everyone in the league missing two games.

Yeah, no, that's good.

All right, I'm going to go Baker passing touchdowns plus 900.

Ooh, most passing touchdowns, 41 last year.

No sign of slow.

What are the ads?

Plus 900.

Okay.

And I'm going to go

love 30 or more touchdowns plus 190.

Ooh.

We both love love.

There we go.

Plus 190.

All right.

I'm going to do Trayvon Henderson for offensive rookie of the year, 16-1.

Oh, that's good.

The case is

if you look at Jameer Gibbs' stats as a rookie for Detroit, and he was ended up with like almost 1,000 rushing yards and like 500 receiving yards or something like that.

I actually think Henderson can do better than that.

So it's him versus Zegbuka versus, who's the other receiver?

Golden?

Golden versus Genti.

Yep.

Yeah, Genty.

Genty's probably, I mean, Genti's the safest pick, but yeah.

And then

I'm going to take this right off the board.

Dak Prescott, 4,000 yards, plus 105.

Suck on that.

All right.

How do you not take that?

I have another Dak one.

I mean, it's a little bit of a swing.

Hold on.

The Fogo to Chad Waiter just came over.

You guys doing good?

We're fine.

Keep bringing the steak.

Wait, so Prescott,

4,000 plus?

Yeah, plus 105.

Okay.

Basically, he would have to get hurt not to get that.

Especially because you don't have any running backs.

Right.

He's going to be throwing the ball like 40 times a game.

Yep.

Yeah, I'm not going to argue.

How about Prescott most

passing yards?

He had 4,500.

He's one year removed from 4,500.

That's plus 900.

You're taking that?

Yep.

I know you have Burrow there.

And I'll take

how about this?

Travis Kelsey under four and a half touchdowns.

He had three last year.

He's, you know, he's going to be worried about freaking flowers and seating charts and who's going to be fighting with who, and, you know, which in-laws hate each other.

He's going to need counseling for all this.

He's not going from three to five, even if the 35-year-old remains healthy.

Plus 112, under four and a half.

I have,

oh, this is a good one.

Let's do three or more NFC North playoff teams plus 330.

Wow.

You like that one?

Basically, one from the NFC East, one from the NFC South, two from the NFC West.

And I'm home free.

And then here's the other one.

I mentioned this when we did part two with the NFC.

Michael Pennex

led college football in interceptions, or at least this conference had 11.

He's going to be chucking the ball, slinging it around.

I have him for most interceptions, 14 to 1.

Wow.

I think I would have taken that at 8 to 1.

So isn't this one where there's no other option?

You want to take if there's no other option, right?

Because you need this guy to play to have the most interceptions.

Well, that was the other thing I was thinking.

I wanted to take a younger QB that might, I mean, he had four season-ending injuries in college, so maybe not the best guy for that.

But I thought 14 and one were going to be tough.

What do you got?

Chiefs touchdown every game.

Oh, plus 110.

Last four years,

75-2.

Only two out of 77 games didn't they not score a touchdown.

One was two years ago against Denver.

They had three field goals.

One was last year, week 18.

That's the one that's sticky.

They lost 38-nothing.

I think it's as close as even money lock as you can get.

Better.

So what are the odds?

Plus 110.

Okay.

And then I get another one.

Yep.

Detroit to make the divisional round, to make it to at least a divisional round, plus 130.

So they can get a buy like they did last year, and then you automatically win,

or they can win 10 games like I have them, and then they have a home game probably against an inferior team.

That's what I have.

I don't think they're in a ton of danger of missing the playoffs.

That's why I pick plus 130.

All right, long shot.

Denver and Green Bay make it to championship weekend, the final four 33 to one.

Just make the final four.

Yep, good to go.

And then

I'm going to bet

where's the other one I had?

Oh man, am I starting to run out of it?

That's all right.

No,

I didn't want to run out of it.

A Philly Green Bay

NFC title game.

What do you think the odds are for that?

12, 20 to 1.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, that's good.

I didn't look at those.

I should have looked at some of those.

Those are run, we call those runway bets.

When you're leaving a fan dull state, you're like, I got to get 40 bucks on these.

All these Fando should do ads for runway bets when the flight attendant's like, sir, sir, can you please, can you please put your phone away?

Like, hold on, I got two more minutes.

Yeah, there's going to be

a huge brawl six rows from here that you're going to have to tend to in a few minutes.

Yeah, so you were convinced Fando was paying off pilots to stay in the runway for six extra minutes in states where gambling was legal.

Yeah, I think they were in cahoots with

Spirit Air.

That's the only thing that kept them going.

I think it's smart.

Okay.

I'm going to go Darnold most interceptions plus 1,100.

I looked at it.

Yeah.

I liked it.

12.

He's had as many as 15.

So

right there.

Jonathan Gannon, coach of the year.

I thought the tap out was coming.

No.

Gannon?

Gannon, coach of the year, plus 1,400.

Do or die a year for him.

I think it's his award if you could take them from under 500 to the vision title.

Interesting.

There you go.

There's my two.

I have

I'm going to bet on a couple young QBs here.

Tennessee over five and a half wins.

New England over seven and a half wins plus 185.

And then I'm going to do

the one, the only Brock Purdy,

4,000 yards,

plus 105.

That's good.

I had a Purdy one.

Guys, it.

Yep.

Plus 105.

Yep.

Purdy, 4K,

plus 105.

Okay.

All right.

I will go.

All right.

This is the Giants fan, meathead fan special.

Meathead Giant fan long shot future play.

Okay.

Cam Scatabo

to record one or more receiving touchdown, one or more rushing touchdown, and one or more passing touchdown in the regular season.

29 to 1.

Could you see it?

TD triple crown?

Yep.

Pass, rush.

29 to 1.

29.

Could you see it?

Like, yeah, did you see Jerry's face when week 18 in a meaningless game?

He threw a 15-yard.

That's fucking great.

Who cares?

We're two and 16, whatever.

Did Scatabo, did he

throw passes in college?

Like, is there some were you studying?

He had a rolling play where I don't think it worked from what I saw, but

29 to 1.

What's your other one?

Wasn't that two?

That wasn't two?

You did Scatabo, TD Triple Crown, 29 to 1.

Oh, I thought I did that.

Tapping out?

Matthew Golden over 700 and a half.

That's fine.

Minus 110.

Matthew Golden over 700.5.

700.

Oh, man.

That's a good one.

Plus 110.

We can end this.

Whatever you want to do.

No, because I'm going to take Abdul Carter for Defensive Poor of the Year at plus 185.

That's a layup.

How is that not a minus odds at this point?

Yeah.

And

I need to get in on this coach of the year.

Do it, it's fun.

I mean, Vrabel at plus 750 staring at me.

I mean, no, you know what?

I'm going to do the assistant coach of the year.

Let's take a flyer

Clint Kubiak.

Oh, 16 to 1

for offensive

or for coordinator of the year,

he's the offensive coordinator for the Seattle Seahawks.

I'm gonna be so pissed if that's what beats me.

That's it's like just people talking about his zone blocking and how he gave Darnold comfort.

Shit, that's gonna win, isn't it?

16 to one.

Cam Scatabo better be passing.

All right, you got two.

All right, I have two

Hutchinson over 12.75 sacks.

12.75.

Why is it 12.75?

Because a half is an actual measurement in the summer.

Oh, my God.

So you could get, you could find 12.73.

I don't want to veer anyone off of Fandel.

You could find 12.725.

No.

7.5 in five games, 19 in his last 22 games.

His J.J.

McCarthy, Caleb Williams, who takes a lot of sacks.

Flacco, Russ, Stafford, the statue.

Rogers, if he's still standing in December.

I like this.

So what are the ads?

Minus 112.

Okay.

You can get to 15 now.

What's your other one?

My other one.

Panthers in third place in the NFC South, plus 185.

Ooh.

And come in second,

but they can't come in first or fourth.

Panthers in third place.

Plus 185.

I have to look.

You and Trust?

I'm not tapping up.

No, I'm not tapping up.

Looks like it did.

I'm going to do

Buffalo for the one seed.

And that's plus 250.

And then I had

where's the other one?

Miami under five and a half wins plus 260.

Wait a minute.

Is that real?

Yeah.

What's their regular one?

Seven and a half?

Yeah.

Okay.

That's pretty good.

That could happen.

What do you got?

I'll do Bills Bucks Super Bowl plus 5,000.

Plus 5,000.

Yeah.

And I'll do.

Bucks.

I'll do 50 to 1.

I'll do Bills Super Bowl plus 750.

Ooh.

This is their year.

The Tommy Fleetwood Bills.

You took that from me.

The Kieran Culkin Bills.

Sabrina Carpenter.

Who else won first thing this year?

I have.

I'm going to double up on

Buffalo Denver title game in AFC 23-1.

Oh, that's very good.

I would need Denver to win the division for that one to hit.

And then,

where's the other one I had?

What was it?

Wasn't there one?

I thought we had one.

Oh, there it is.

I'm not going to help you out.

I don't know if I want to do that.

You're done.

We don't have to find a new round.

That's fine.

I don't want to do that one.

I'm going to do New Orleans and Cleveland.

Both finished in fourth place.

Wow.

Plus 158.

What?

You don't have that already?

No.

You have to do it.

I have a different version of it.

All right.

Doubling up on it.

What do you got?

All right.

Cardinals division plus 380.

Ooh.

It's a long shot.

And

plus 380.

I like it.

Let's see.

All right, I'm doing something stupid.

I know I said a lot of

bad shit about Kyle Pitts, but what if this is the year?

750 yards or more

plus 380.

750 yards plus 380.

Yeah.

How did you even find that?

Well, 525 says

regular over under.

Okay.

I need to find.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

I'm going to do San Fran misses the playoffs

plus 160.

Okay.

And I'm going to do

Seattle Division plus 500.

All right.

Double up.

Sure.

On those two beauties.

We talked about this the first podcast.

Chargers lose in the wild card round plus 290.

I don't even have them to make the playoffs, but this seems like everybody should have this every year.

Can we just get it out of the way?

What are the ads?

Plus 290.

They're either going to lose the Shakyas game or they'll be posting essentially a road game.

Okay.

Oh, and then I get another one.

Yeah.

I'm going to go Adams under 925 and a half minus 110.

Under.

Yeah.

I don't trust Stafford being around for a lot of that.

Under 1025 and a half, 925.

925 and a half.

Odds were what?

Minus 110.

Minus 110.

Okay.

Under Houston win the division of plus 110.

Okay.

And then then I'm going to do.

I'm running out now.

There's no shame.

Could be a tap out there.

It's no shame.

I'll do Variable Coach of the Year plus 750.

All right.

Let's see if I'm excited about any of these others.

Tapping out.

Bills beat the Dolphins home and on the road minus 135.

135.

it's definitely bills bills dolphins sweep bills sweep the dolphins that's plus odds no no minus 135

seems like something you could do individual weeks but i'm gonna parlay it together september 18th and then

november 9th yeah do that i like that one and uh i'll go connor under 875 and a half rushing

why under what thing you like about him i got a little secret it's gonna make me look like an asshole but if you take all the running backs under

there's like six who are out for the year by

week six or seven.

You know, it is like kind of split there, but I don't, I don't like to not bad one, he's gonna be 32.

I think

I'm gonna do Indy under

five and a half wins.

That is plus 250.

You like that one?

Nice, yep, sure,

plus 250,

and then I'm going to do

what was the other one I had?

Oh, I'm not.

I don't have the balls to do that.

I'm starting to run out now.

Let's do.

Yeah.

Should we blow a horn to wake the audience up or something?

Chargers, no playoffs, even.

Yeah.

It's pretty good.

Want to do two more?

Sure.

All right.

Or I get one.

I went first, so you get two more.

I get one more.

All right.

Sorry.

Fields, six plus rushing touchdowns, plus one fifty.

Hmm.

He said eight, four, and five the last three years.

Hit five in ten games last year.

Already has one in preseason.

And what were the odds again?

Plus 115.

I like it.

And then cup under five and a half touchdowns.

Under.

That's minus 154.

It's a big big, but come on.

There's got to be some decline a little bit there.

I don't see a lot of scoring.

Missed 18 games in three years.

Minus 110.

So you have one more pick?

Yeah.

Don't fuck this up.

I'm going to do Buffalo over Green Bay in the Super Bowl.

And I have no idea what the odds are.

I don't know if they have over, they might just have.

So Buffalo Green Bay Super Bowl?

Yeah.

They will.

Which is, what's Buffalo Green Bay Super Bowl?

Let me find out.

Because that's my actual pick, so I should probably have money on that.

40 to 1 that they made up.

40 to 1.

That's my last pick.

All right.

We're

tapping out of the football chow draft.

Thank you, Mr.

Wayne.

I don't feel like we had enough player props, but I think the problem with player props is that guys get hurt and you get screwed.

You mean just like over-unders?

Yeah, just those over-unders.

I never know who to trust.

I like the quarterback throwing ones, but remember last year I had Trevor Lawrence, Caleb Williams, and somebody else will throw for 4,000 yards each.

Right, right, right.

Didn't happen.

It's more fun.

It's more fun to take the big odds, guys.

All right.

Cuz, great job, baby.

Good job by you, buddy.

All right, that's it for the podcast.

Thanks to Cousin Sal.

Thanks to Gahal and Eduardo and Sarudi as well.

I will be back on this podcast, possibly with a two-parter,

on Tuesday with a big guest, too.

So stay tuned for that.

And then don't forget about the rewatch of us coming Monday night movie 400 American Gangster.

Don't forget about all of our awesome football content.

Don't forget about the Ringer Gambling Show live every day, noon ET on the Ringer Gambling YouTube channel.

And I will see you on Tuesday.

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