TCB Infomercial: Ari Shaffir

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Speaker 1 Here we go.

Speaker 1 You missed at the feet or you're going to start at the head? Because I'm really wanting to blister some of y'all's haircuts. Amen.
That's right.

Speaker 1 I mean, you're in an independent Baptist church and you got a King James Bible in your hand and you got a contemporary liberal hairdo. What in the world is wrong with you?

Speaker 1 Would you boys quit trying to look like the world? You ain't as cool as you think you are. You ain't as tough as you think you you are.

Speaker 1 Or to get you a haircut that's high and tied over your ears and off your collarline and look like somebody that's been to the barbershop instead of a beauty salon.

Speaker 1 Amen.

Speaker 1 On this episode of the Commercial Break,

Speaker 1 I'd learned the words for like beef, and then I'd like, what beef? And then they'd point to a giant sign of like 30 different beef dishes. And I'm like, ah.

Speaker 1 All right. Just guess.
Not the dog. Not the dog.

Speaker 1 Please.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I had a dog once. I didn't have it, but I saw it in the menu once.

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 yeah, I'm like, what is that? They told me. I was like, what's that word? And they were like,

Speaker 1 and I was like, chicken? And they're like, no, no, muk, mark, mark. Bark.
And I was like, oh, that's all right. That's all right.

Speaker 1 I'll pass on the bark.

Speaker 1 The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Cats and Kittens. Welcome back to the Commercial Break.
I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Holy.
Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.

Speaker 1 Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on a Tuesday after the Super Bowl.
One of the most uneventful Super Bowls in history. I mean, eventful

Speaker 1 in the sense that it happened and there were commercials. It was.
And Kendrick Lamar was there. And so was Donald Trump and Taylor Swift.
We'll get into all of that tomorrow in detail.

Speaker 1 But wow, what a blowout.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it was zero. The Philadelphia Eagles

Speaker 1 manhandled Patrick Mahomes. They did.
Manhandled Mahomes. Probably the best quarterback, certainly, of our, you know, in this time period.

Speaker 1 Shocking. It really was.
I don't know the first fucking thing about football, and I was shocked. Totally shocked.
During the second quarter, I was like, Well, this is over, I guess.

Speaker 1 I guess we're just gonna all sit here and watch the Eagles absolutely. It looked like it honestly looked like a high school team playing a flag football team.

Speaker 1 It was like unbelievable how the Eagles tore them apart in every aspect of the game. What did they have? Like 100 yards of total offense or something like that?

Speaker 1 And I don't even know what that means, Chrissy. I don't even know what that means.
Yeah, going into halftime, it was like 23. It was, yeah, it was 23 to nothing and 30 to nothing

Speaker 1 within the the third. Anyway, TCB Infomercial Tuesday.
You're not here to listen to football. I know, and listen about football.
I know that.

Speaker 1 If you're here to hear Brian talk about football, change the channel. Not going to do it.

Speaker 1 TCB Infomercial Tuesday with Ari Shafir. He is here with us.
I'm so excited to talk to Ari.

Speaker 1 Ari is a noted comic who has many specials out there. He's been doing this for a very long time.

Speaker 1 A podcaster longer than I guarantee you and I have even known what I've known about podcasts for a long time. I guarantee he was doing it long before we even heard the word podcast.

Speaker 1 He's been on the bandwagon. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He has. 2015, I think, is when he started his first podcast.
He's made many appearances on many different podcasts, including The Rogan Show,

Speaker 1 Tom Segura's podcast. And then he's got his own podcast called You Be Trippin', which is very good.
I've listened to it. I'm now in my fourth episode, and I've really been enjoying it.

Speaker 1 I just listened to the one with Jim Gaff again, which I thought was really good. Wait, did you listen? Harland.
I listened to Harlan. Oh, you listened to the Harlan Williams.

Speaker 1 You listened to Harlan Williams. Okay, well, we'll talk more about that with Ari.
And now he's got his brand new Netflix special is out America's sweetheart.

Speaker 1 This one is got me, that one had me rolling on the floor. Yeah, it's really funny.
He is really good at what he does.

Speaker 1 So, Ari is here. We're going to talk all about it.
He's also got his farewell tour. I'd like to get to the bottom of that.
Why is he faring well? I don't know. We're going to find out.

Speaker 1 Will this be an Eagle? No, pun intended. Will this be an Eagles type situation situation where Ari just says it's farewell and then he comes back seven or eight times?

Speaker 1 Or is this the nail in the coffin for Ari Shafir? We will find out, Chrissy. Yes, we will.
Because I will go right at him. I'm going to ask him the tough questions.

Speaker 1 Like, why are you calling this the farewell tour? No, if you're looking for hard-hitting interview styles where Brian talks over the guests the entire time, this is your place, my friends.

Speaker 1 This is your place. But before we get to that, I have one note.
Chrissy and I last week went and saw Bill Murray and the the Blood Brothers.

Speaker 1 Long time coming. I got these tickets for my brothers and for my father to go see Bill Murray, who the entire family just really enjoys.

Speaker 1 Bill Murray. Yeah.
And we're from Chicago. There's some connections there.

Speaker 1 So my dad has been kind of putting Bill Murray in front of us since we were little kids in the first Saturday, you know, Saturday night, early years of Saturday Night Live, all of his movie, Caddyshack.

Speaker 1 Of course, we can go on and on about Stripe. He was in Stripe.
He was in Stripes. I love Stripes.
Which is one of the funniest fucking movies ever. That is Bill Murray at his zenith, in my opinion.

Speaker 1 Either that or what about Bob? It just depends on which style you like.

Speaker 1 You could go Lost in Translation. What's your favorite? Oh, Groundhog Day.
Oh, Groundhog Day. That's my favorite.
Caddy Shack.

Speaker 1 A million other movies. Ghostbusters.
Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters 2.
Every single Wes Anderson movie he's been in. Yes.
I love those. Which was the one about the school, the kid in the school?

Speaker 1 Well, they're the Royal Tenenbaums. Royal Tenenbombs was fantastic, but there was the one about the school.
Anyway, you get it. He's been in a ton of those.

Speaker 1 So Chrissy and I went and saw Bill Murray and the Blood Brothers, or as we found out, the Blood Brothers, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, with

Speaker 1 Bill Murray playing the tambourine. So and the cowbell.
And the cowbell. And he sang a few songs.
We'll talk more about that later on this week, also.

Speaker 1 But I thought there was an interesting little like through line there when last night I was watching the Super Bowl, the big game, as they call it, Chrissy,

Speaker 1 down in the big easy, if you don't mind. And Bill Murray Murray popped on for about 15 seconds and gave his email address.
Yeah. Bill himself at yahoo.com.
Now,

Speaker 1 I know I was getting tricked, but I had to go along with it anyway. You wanted to see what? I had to take the chance that we might actually be emailing Bill Murray.

Speaker 1 That Bill might have spent $4.5 million just to have people email him so he could fuck around, right? Because that's the kind of guy that Bill is. He doesn't have a cell phone.

Speaker 1 He doesn't have an agent. He only has a home phone that he never answers, apparently in Charleston, that Chrissy and I have tried to dial a number of times.
We did.

Speaker 1 And an email address is like one of the only ways that you can get a script over to Bill.

Speaker 1 It's like there's story after story after story about how hard it is to try and get Bill Murray to be involved in anything. So I thought, who the fuck still has a Yahoo address? No.
Who? No one.

Speaker 1 So clearly, this is his real email address because this is the way Bill Murray would have done it. Fax machine and Yahoo email address.
That's clearly what's got to be going on here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I emailed that fucking email address. And what comes back is the strangest fucking story about him being a dog, seeing a dog in the mirror and then he had to go to the vet to get checked out.

Speaker 1 It's like a really weird, convoluted, complicated

Speaker 1 marketing scheme, I guess is the best way to put it, for Yahoo Mail, an effort to bring back Yahoo. It's not going to happen.
We all have bad memories of our Yahoo accounts.

Speaker 1 We're not going back there.

Speaker 1 We all have bad memories of not being able to email, not understanding what email is, and Nigerian email scammers.

Speaker 1 We all have a bad memory about trying to get $14 million out of South Africa. Okay, we all have it.
Everyone's got that story because Yahoo put us in that position. And I'm sorry, Yahoo.

Speaker 1 I'm not going back.

Speaker 1 If I show up to a meeting, any meeting, even though I'm a dumb, mediocre comedy podcaster, if I was to show up to a meeting and say, yeah, my email address is brianpodcast at yahoo.com, people would laugh me out of the room.

Speaker 1 There's no serious person in the world that still has a Yahoo email address, is there? I don't think so. No, Chrissy said no.
Even further back is AOL. Oh, don't even get me started on AOL.

Speaker 1 I actually just emailed with a guy who had an AOL email address. I don't have them.
It's crazy. I think AOL is still sending out those discs.
Four free hours of internet.

Speaker 1 Download now. Yeah.
And then it would take you three hours to get the discs to load onto your computer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, listen, those were the early pioneers of the internet, but they just kind of mishandled the whole situation. Didn't it? Yahoo get bought by somebody.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I had a friend who worked for Yahoo for the longest time. He was like, he would make banner ads for Yahoo.
Sure. Not for their clients, but for Yahoo.

Speaker 1 And he would make like the tiles that would show up on the homepage. And he was really good at what he did.
He was like a really good designer. And Yahoo paid him a dick shit of money to do this.

Speaker 1 Day after day, night after night. He would create them like five in a day.

Speaker 1 And Yahoo apparently was a great company to work for.

Speaker 1 But somewhere along the way, Yahoo fell out of of favor and i don't know how that happened yeah they were a whole like home page you could get onto there and see all your news and weather and all of that and check your email yeah and then it yeah we all migrated we all migrated to google where now they just i don't know it just says google on it it doesn't give you any information it just says google yeah but i yahoo was so embedded in in my life that i remember feeling you know there's like certain brands that you buddy up to you really feel like you know you're you're there that's my brand.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like Bud Light was my brand for a while, right? I really liked Bud Light.
I wouldn't drink anything else if I had the choice. I was a Bud Light guy.

Speaker 1 When I walked in and I saw that blue box, I knew that was mine. And she knew I was hers.
And I knew she was mine. You know, that kind of thing.
Yahoo!

Speaker 1 I had that same sentiment with for a while because, you know, Jamland Productions at yahoo.com. Jam Light.

Speaker 1 Jamland.

Speaker 1 I forgot that she was a jamland.

Speaker 1 By the way. That's your foray into

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 live music production. Yes.
We would put on festivals and live EDM concerts at clubs.

Speaker 1 Fashion shows slash Grateful Dead shows slash EDM concert.

Speaker 1 Hey, it's just that we're just a little bit ahead of our time with that one. But Jamland Productions at yahoo.com, probably still out there somewhere, I would imagine.

Speaker 1 But I felt like some kinship with Yahoo because they were my, you know, email service provider.

Speaker 1 But I think once I got a BlackBerry, it just all turned to shit. I thought, I don't need that Yahoo anymore.

Speaker 1 But, you know, strange thing about Jamland Productions, that name is actually still alive and kicking with the

Speaker 1 Pete.

Speaker 1 Oh, right. With your guy.

Speaker 1 We can

Speaker 1 kids with the DJ.

Speaker 1 He's still putting on shows under the name Jamland Productions. There you go.
We must go check one out. We must.
You know who else is putting on shows? Who's that? Ari Shafir is putting on shows.

Speaker 1 He's on tour. He's on his farewell tour.
He's hitting a bunch of different cities, including Atlanta. So we'll have to have a conversation with him about that.
We'll angle for free tickets.

Speaker 1 We'll see what happens.

Speaker 1 Ari is very popular. He's got many specials out there on YouTube.
You can go to AriShafir.com for all of the information. I will put links in the show notes.

Speaker 1 You can also check out his new special, America's Sweetheart, which is doing apparently well on Netflix. It pops up.
I don't know if Netflix just like throws those things in front of me.

Speaker 1 It's probably an algorithm, right? Yeah, it is. You like this, so you like that.

Speaker 1 All right, they're fucking with me like the rest of the internet is. Okay.
All an algorithm.

Speaker 1 Anyway, you might have to go searching for it, but Ari Shafir has a new special called America's Sweetheart, and it is very good. You should go watch it.

Speaker 1 We're going to talk to Ari about all of his comings and goings and maybe ask him about a few pop culture things and see what take his

Speaker 1 temperature. What do you think? Okay, we'll take a break, Chrissy.
Let's do this. Let's take a break and then do the magic of telepodcasting.

Speaker 1 We're going to have Ari right here in studio on that TV live and in person in front of us. We get to ask all the questions.
Are you every questions ready? I'm down with it. Okay, take notes.

Speaker 1 We'll take a break and we'll be back.

Speaker 3 Rachel here.

Speaker 5 While Brian takes his old man Bladder to the little boys' room, let's talk turkey.

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Speaker 3 i'm gonna go help brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors and then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the commercial break i'll take a raise now bitches bye

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Speaker 1 Ari, thanks for so much for joining us today. We really appreciate it.
Welcome. Nice, guys.

Speaker 1 Thank you very much.

Speaker 1 You're in the beautiful city of Nash Vegas right now. Yeah, it's pretty red.
I got drunk yesterday. You got what? Drunk the night before.
Drunk yesterday.

Speaker 1 I lived there for five years. It's a fun city.
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
It's a nice direct town. Where do you go when you're in Nashville? What's your favorite honky tonk to head out to? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I've avoided Broadway this time. I'm in East Nashville for the first time, which is kind of cooler.

Speaker 1 Still some crime, still

Speaker 1 some hipsters. That's where the new gays are coming to try to take back.
Yeah, it's got a little grit to it.

Speaker 1 You're doing a number of shows in Vegas, huh? I mean, in Nashville, huh? Yeah, I got five. They're all great.

Speaker 1 Club Rules. It's a really cool place.
Yeah, I got to hang out with Nate yesterday and his wife.

Speaker 1 But you weren't doing a show with Nate, were you?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 we don't have the same market at all.

Speaker 1 He's so clean.

Speaker 1 We got along, but he's like, oh, I could never expose my audience. No, no.
Nate is clean as a whistle. When I watched his recent special, I talked about it here on the air.

Speaker 1 It was, it's, it's clean as a whistle. It's different.
It's a different kind of comedy than I'm normally watching.

Speaker 6 Yeah, me too.

Speaker 1 But I thought he did an excellent job. He's really good at his craft.
But so are you. America's Sweetheart is an excellent, excellent set of comedy.

Speaker 1 You did a really good job. i thought it was really funny congratulations on it heck yeah thank you thank you i'm just trying to get people to calm down a little bit

Speaker 1 yeah i agree i agree with something you said i wanted to point this out because we were talking about um kanye the other day and his young lady running down the uh red carpet van what a dress first of all i mean

Speaker 1 yeah listen you don't have to wear a giant coat if you wear anything underneath you can just wear a t-shirt and a hoodie that's

Speaker 1 make the same as a mink and a nothing yeah a hundred percent.

Speaker 1 You're saying there is no sacred ground in it. No, all shock value.
Once your badge is out, then there's nothing else left to the imagination. I mean, what? Why even? It's just news.

Speaker 1 Why even have the thing? We asked the same question. Which I'm before.
Yeah. But what is it pushing? What agenda is it pushing? Obviously, you're there to get cameras.
I know what thing it's pushing.

Speaker 1 It's a great body.

Speaker 1 No doubt about that. No doubt about that.
Yeah. Not one person was like, ooh, gross body.
They're falling. I mean, the canvas is great.

Speaker 1 Excellent specimen. I told the camera.
I guess it got people talking, right? It did. That was the purpose.
And that's what, you know, that's what Kanye does very well: he gets people talking.

Speaker 1 And I was telling Chrissy here, I said, This is the first time my wife has ever sent me a nude photograph of a woman that was not her. So mark the time, mark the place.

Speaker 1 She was like, Did you see this? And I see it. I'm zooming in.

Speaker 1 Quadrant sixth cheese. Zoom.
Enhance.

Speaker 1 For like 15 minutes, Rolling Stone had the unedited photograph on their Instagram. And I'm sure everybody took a screenshot like I did.

Speaker 1 But now, when Astra looks at my phone and she sees a nude woman, I'm like, you sent it to me. So I got me started.

Speaker 1 I didn't even know there were nude women until you sent me that one. Now it's all I could think about.

Speaker 1 But yes, Kyan's music rules. That's what we should focus on.
Not just standing there like a loony. That is the point that you made that I thought was pretty prescient.

Speaker 1 And we had this conversation in the studio a couple of weeks ago.

Speaker 1 We were kind of talking about how some of my children are now listening to Michael Jackson because Michael Jackson is in some of these cartoon movies that he's got, like he's got, you know, the bad thriller and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 And I was like,

Speaker 1 I wonder if that's, you know, I wonder if I should have any feelings about that, but I really don't because sometimes it's important to separate the art from the artist.

Speaker 1 And you said something interesting. I'm not going to butcher your joke, but you said something interesting.
I don't follow Kanye on Twitter. I follow follow him on Spotify.
And I think

Speaker 1 that was a really well-done joke that is a prescient point. Like, all artists are fucking Looney Tunes.
We went and saw that. Looney.
Looney

Speaker 1 tunes. Chris

Speaker 1 went last night and saw Bill Murray and his blood brothers, the band. So Bill Murray singing, playing drums and tambourine very poorly.
I'm Cal Bell.

Speaker 1 Bill Murray, the comedian, comic actor? Yeah, the comic actor. It was crazy.
He's got like an eight-piece band that he travels with. That he travels.
Well, let's be real about this.

Speaker 1 It's the band with the band. It's the band with Bill Murray.
Yes. Right, right, right, right.

Speaker 1 How was it? It was actually entertaining. It was actually entertaining.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I give it that. I think that's a good way to put it.
It was entertaining. I don't want to knock it because we had a ton of fun.
Yeah, we laughed a lot. But, you know, this is a $5 cover band

Speaker 1 anywhere else without Bill Murray. Like, this is the band, the house band at some, you know, cheap bar that, you know, bar that serves $5 drafts.
That's what it is. But they were talented.

Speaker 1 They were talented. There was a lot of good sacks affected.
I can't say that.

Speaker 1 I can't say that about a bill.

Speaker 1 I want to see it. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. You've got to.
You've got to. But yeah, they're all lunatics.
You can't judge them for anything other than the thing they put out. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't want my artists if they're not a little bit insane. Do you know what I'm saying? Take away all the people who've done shitty, all the artists who have done shitty, crazy things.

Speaker 1 And you go and take your,

Speaker 1 I don't know, your Spotify playlist or your cds or your albums or whatever go take them and throw them in the garbage and you will have nothing left there's nothing else there so yeah kanye is a little crazy but he's there's nothing else there you're taking heroin out of the arts

Speaker 1 it's true it's true

Speaker 1 um yeah it's true uh so

Speaker 1 uh tell me about the traveling i got more into into kanye after all this legitimately did you as his as everything was coming up and i was like and then my friends would send me like hey, I know he's like supposed to be like hates Jews or whatever, but have you heard this one song?

Speaker 1 And I'm like, oh my God, that's really good. How did I miss that one?

Speaker 1 Like, it helped me focus on his music, and I was like, oh, his music, I've passed by it. This is amazing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Black skin head slaps.

Speaker 1 Do you do you think while we're talking about Kanye? Are you under the assumption I am that he's just trolling everybody? That that's just like a master troll? Yes, 100%.

Speaker 1 I mean, I am a troll, so I can recognize it. He's just saying stuff that gets people upset, and it's also like some of it's like high school level, right?

Speaker 1 That Hitler had some good ideas, like we were saying that in fifth grade in a Jewish school, just to like tweak at each other, right? It's like, right, right, right.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's just the easiest way to say something that'll piss people off because you know, the Volkswagen was cool, yeah,

Speaker 1 take that away from them 100%.

Speaker 1 Something came out, Something came out of it. Yeah.
Listen, the mustache never caught up. So that was a failure.

Speaker 1 It's true. I think it's illegal in some parts of the world to have that mustache, actually, isn't it? In Germany, I think.
Really? Yeah, I think

Speaker 1 frowned at Paul. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Germans got super. I do know for a fact that you cannot have the name Adolph anywhere in Germany.
That's like a name that you cannot put on a birth certificate. Yeah.
Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they got it. He ruined it.

Speaker 1 He did. No, there's no more Adolf.
One bad egg. That's the first time.
One bad egg.

Speaker 1 One super bad egg. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's going to happen to all the Donalds out there of 150 years for an hour? The Joes. What are we going to do, Chrissy, when we can't name our kids Donald or Joe anymore? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have an excellent podcast called You Be Tripping. It's

Speaker 1 really good. What gave you the premise? You've actually, I have to say this, Ari, you've been doing podcasting a lot longer than people have known about podcasting.

Speaker 1 Weren't you on Rogan's episode number two or three or something? Yeah, pretty early on. We all were like looking for a way away from radio where we can't cuss and we have to wake up at 6 a.m.

Speaker 1 to do it.

Speaker 1 It sucked. It always sucked.
You get some dumb fucking local local DJ didn't know anything. It was just kind of like, oh, what are we doing here? Became a curse.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And so then it was like, I wish there was a way to do this in the afternoon and then with cussing.
And, but nothing was there.

Speaker 1 And then suddenly something popped their heads up and comedians loved it. We drove right into it.
Yeah, it certainly has become a vehicle that

Speaker 1 for like 15 years. It's crazy how long it's been around at this point.
Yeah, it's been around for 15 years. When did you do your first podcast? Like 2010, right? Yeah, I was on Rogans pretty early.

Speaker 1 And like probably a year later, I saw my old one that I stopped. But like,

Speaker 1 yeah, I did that for like 10 or 12 years. And now this new one, it's just like, yeah, it's become part of the landscape now.
It's pretty wild.

Speaker 1 It really is. I think that if you're a comedian, an entertainer, I mean, it's like,

Speaker 1 it's just a thing you have to do. It's a rubber stamp.
You have to get it. People didn't even know what they were.
No. I would ask people to to be a guest in my podcast.
I'd be like, what?

Speaker 1 What is that? It's like an internet radio thing. It won't be live.

Speaker 1 Just to explain the whole format. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, how? Like, that's not what I want to get into. Just come over and let me talk to you.

Speaker 1 When we did our first podcast, and we would, I mean, this is five or six years ago. We come from radio.
We come from radio. We worked in radio back

Speaker 1 at the tail end of the demise of what was radio. You brought it down.
You killed it with it. That's true.
Luckily, we weren't on air. We were on the business side of things.

Speaker 1 So it was even shittier on the sales side than it was on the on-air side. You thought the on-air guys were buffoons.
You should have seen some of the people we worked with. I mean, used car salesman.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, that must have been great.
Local radio and the people that came at you guys. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow. It was entertaining.
Yeah, you're like going to a dry cleaner and begging them to spend $1,000 on two spots that are clearly or

Speaker 1 might bring them some business. But you have to be convinced that this is it.
And knowing damn well that every other radio station in town is, every other person in town has come to it.

Speaker 1 We're all calling on them. Yeah.
We used to hear stories that in radio when we got into this was like 2005, 2006. So right when podcasting was coming online,

Speaker 1 we worked for Clear Channel and what is now iHeartRadio. They didn't even have an app yet.
Like it was coming online as we were starting.

Speaker 1 So we used to hear stories about the heyday back in the 90s where they would have a margarita machine next to the fax machine. Next to the cocaine.
Next to the cocaine.

Speaker 1 And the fax machine would just ring all day, people just sending an order, tens of thousands of dollars worth of radio because that was kind of the only game in town.

Speaker 1 You were either doing TV or radio and TV was prohibitively expensive. So, but by the time we got there,

Speaker 1 things were a little bit different.

Speaker 1 They were just talking about what it used to be. That's when I started comedy.
They kept talking about the 80s. Like, it was great.

Speaker 1 There were lines around the block. We were talking in a room that was supposed to have a show, but no one showed up in.
Like, wow, sounds amazing. Yes.
Sounds great. Congratulations on you.

Speaker 1 That sounds good for you. But I think comedy right now is kind of seeing a renaissance.
It hasn't been. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's great. Everybody's talking about it.
Yeah, the podcast and the comedy. It's so popular around the world.
In Amsterdam, every local show is packed. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 In Berlin, there's mobs, every show. Do you yourself do a lot of traveling for

Speaker 1 comedy?

Speaker 1 I mean, besides here, like the continental United States, do you do a lot of travel outside the U.S.? No, I do. So

Speaker 1 comedy is really pretty cool is even when you're just beginning, there's this occasional like free trip to a wild place. Yeah, that's what I was wondering.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Me and my friend Paul Morrissey,

Speaker 1 we did this comedy festival in Montrose, Switzerland in like 2009 or 10. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Free trip out there. They room and board.
We had them fly us back from Amsterdam. So then we're like, let's take the train to Amsterdam up today.
And we just kind of made a deal with each other.

Speaker 1 Like, let's keep doing these. Right.
Like, I've flown to Hong Kong and Shanghai,

Speaker 1 Iceland. And these are all times where I could not afford these trips.
For sure. Yeah.
You're not. And then you're out there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then there's somebody there telling you, like, I got in a hotel for you. We're so scary.
It's kind of like pre-like easy internet. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And everything's so frightening. They're like, oh, well, I got a hotel for you.
I'll pick you up from the airport. And then they just tell you some details.

Speaker 1 Like in Shanghai, they're like, hey, it's really safe here. The punishments for violent crime are wild.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're

Speaker 1 an embarrassment thing in this culture. So, like, no one's like, drunk women will fall asleep with their phone in their hand and wake up with their phone in their hand.
Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So once they told me that, I was like, oh, I'm free. And I would just like wander out to like a place I couldn't communicate.
I'd learn the word for like beef, and then I'm like, what beef?

Speaker 1 And then they'd point to a giant sign of like 30 different beef dishes. And I'm like, ah.

Speaker 1 All right. Just guess.
Not the dog, not the dog,

Speaker 1 please.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I had a dog once, I didn't have it, but I saw it on the menu once and eat it too.

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, what is that? They told me, I was like, What's that word?

Speaker 1 And they were like, Buck, buck, buck, and I was like, chicken, and they're like, No, no, buck, bark, bark, bark, and I'm like, oh, that's all right. That's all right.

Speaker 1 I'll pass on the buck. Yeah,

Speaker 1 um,

Speaker 1 it was like room temperature. You could tell it wasn't even fresh.
So it's like, this isn't gonna be a time that I start with dogs.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? Like, would you ever try human meat? And I was like, well, okay, what did they do? They had to have done something wrong.

Speaker 1 And then also, like, how's it prepared? Find chef? Or just lying around? Am I eating raw, like, alive?

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 But yes, flowed me all over. So it's like really great.
And now I like book gigs, you know, even though I can't afford, but it's like trips through Europe.

Speaker 1 I did one tour in Greece and then stayed for like a week. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I matched up an Australian tour with this like rugby match. How did you like Australia? I love Australia.
They're the biggest Cokeheads in the world.

Speaker 1 They're the biggest Cokeheads and with the worst Coke. So if you meet an Australian outside of Australia, they're like, the Coke is great here.
And it's so cheap. You're like, no, it's not.

Speaker 1 It's filled with it. It's all a baby like it.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, they don't grow it naturally. Everything there has got to be imported, right? So that's probably why it's some of the worst cocaine.
And it's so far away from anything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, where are they getting the cocaine from?

Speaker 1 It's certainly not coming from South America, China, probably, I would imagine. Yeah, maybe.
Where does Europe get their cocaine? From Africa. Oh, really? Yeah.
I think

Speaker 1 they ship it over and then they run it through Africa. There's like, we went to...

Speaker 1 Sevilla, Spain, for a wedding, which is like near the Cape. So you could take a boat over to Africa.

Speaker 1 And one of the guys was telling me that Sevilla, while the beautiful and pretty tame town in general, is known to have a lot of drug running through it.

Speaker 1 Like people will take over those boats, you know, those ferries. Because it's on the water.
Yeah, because it's on the water, and then they'll run drugs up into Europe into Spain. Yeah.
On a ferry.

Speaker 1 On a ferry. And Great Britain's appetite for cocaine has grown exponentially.
So there's a lot of drug running that goes around, that goes on through Spain so that they can get it up to Europe.

Speaker 1 I know all about the cocaine, and don't ask me why.

Speaker 1 cocaine. Because I spent 10 years of my life

Speaker 1 staring at myself in a mirror on the table.

Speaker 1 I was doing some self-reflection.

Speaker 1 I'll be here all week. This is everybody like,

Speaker 1 do you like coke? No, I don't like it at all. What? Do you have some?

Speaker 1 Hey, man, that guy over there, he's a cokehead. Yeah? Really? I'm going to go.
I'll go talk to him. I'll tell him to do that.
I'll go talk to him probably get out of here. I'll talk to him.

Speaker 1 I'll be back in two to three hours. We're going to go to the bathroom together.

Speaker 1 You didn't know what cocaine was. And you're like, yes.
Why is everyone's bladder so small now? I know. Everyone just keeps getting up.

Speaker 1 I think those parties.

Speaker 1 Before you knew what it was. Only parties I went to for a long time.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I was a manager at a bar, and it was just clear as day if you knew what to look for. And I did, because it takes one to know one, right? If you knew what to look for, you would know.

Speaker 1 And then, of course, you always had the local dealer, you know, the guy

Speaker 1 that sits at the bar, and you just kind of keep them in check a little bit. You're like, hey, don't be so obvious about it, you know, because it's good for business.

Speaker 1 Yeah, be less obvious about your cocaine.

Speaker 1 It was, we, we talked to Steve O, it was like our couple, I don't know, a year, year and a half ago.

Speaker 1 And Steve was telling us that when he was getting high, he had a night with Mike Tyson where they did two eight balls of cocaine.

Speaker 1 They sat in a Las Vegas bathroom for four hours doing eight balls of cocaine. Him and Mike Tyson, he told this story.
And for like five minutes, I didn't say a word. My jaw was on the floor.

Speaker 1 I was like, think about being in a room coked up with a certified killer, a small room.

Speaker 1 And I know Mike, you know, he seems now like a very self-reflective, smart, you know, empathetic human being, but there was a time. This is Coke Mike.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is not mushroom mic. Mushroom mic is nice.
Coke mic is a problem.

Speaker 1 Tell me what your favorite place to visit is. Like all the places you've been.
What is your favorite? I've always wanted to go to Iceland. How was that? Iceland is gorgeous.
It looks beautiful. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then I have a friend who started the Icelandic comedy scene, also named Ari.

Speaker 1 And so he was like, let's do a little tour. I'll leave my family for a couple days.
And he'd show me the north. And he knew all the little secret spots.

Speaker 1 He's like, over sheep meadow here, I think there's like a fissure. I remember this when I was a kid, and you found a rope.
You just climbed climbed down.

Speaker 1 It's just a hot spring, like a natural hot spring in this fissure. Oh my god.
Yeah. And like no one's there.

Speaker 1 You're just there swimming around in like in this hot water, like swimming, not just soaking in it for like two hours. And no one's there.
Wow. It's so, it's just so out there.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I still rules.
And the chicks are so hot. That's what I feel.
Yeah. Yeah.
They all look exactly the same. Yeah.
They're all blonde and six feet tall. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they're forward-thinking. You're like, can I buy you a drink? They're like, why?

Speaker 1 All over scandinavia and iceland they're like why what do you mean why would you buy me a drink oh really yeah they're so equal there it's it's like it's foreign to

Speaker 1 that hey that's incredible is it is yeah

Speaker 1 so is iceland one of the favorite places that you've been i said yeah i like going to places where like it's kind of like i can't like communicate with anybody or like

Speaker 1 i can't like uh Yeah, exactly. Where I can't even like talk to home.
It's like too far out where I'm really, really lost. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Going through like Southeast Asia, through like Myanmar and East Timor and Indonesia and South America too, where I'm like, it's just real rural. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you just have to try to get some of the language to where you can like just order some food. You like a challenge.
You like to travel where it's a bit of a challenge. You're a new experience.

Speaker 1 I like being uncomfortable. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then Berlin also is great for drugs. Berlin is the best.
Berlin is the best city. I have heard.
I've heard great. Berlin is like the wildest party scene on earth.
Wild.

Speaker 1 And nobody cares about anything negative. They only care about the positive.
So there's no more like bitching about like, well, I raised this way and it was hard. They're all past that.

Speaker 1 Like, what are you into now?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So

Speaker 1 I saw somebody that was like, when I was there last time, there was somebody new to Berlin. And they were like,

Speaker 1 well, I'm non-binary. And all these like trans chicks are like, oh, no one's talking about that shit anymore.
Like, they were like, grow up. Yeah.
We're all so far past that.

Speaker 1 And And there was like, what are you into? What kind of music do you like? Yeah. We're not talking about that dumb shit anymore.
It's like, yeah, yeah. It's like here in this country going, I'm gay.

Speaker 1 They're like, yeah, who cares? This is 1987. Nobody cares to talk about gay anymore.
I'm sad.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And the drugs are crazy.
And you just, you're walking on the street and you hear like music and you're looking at like the side of a building. And you're like, what?

Speaker 1 And you're like, oh, maybe that's a door. And you kind of push it.
And there's a guy there going, five Euros. And you're like, okay.

Speaker 1 And then you just go in there. And then there's like some like industrial warehouse.
Yeah. Dancing.

Speaker 1 Oh, I loved it.

Speaker 1 That's incredible. I like, uh, I like sometimes watching videos about the Berlin club scene because it's just wild.

Speaker 1 It's like literally an old steel factory, 15 football fields large, not a space in between the human beings. There's 10,000 people in there, and they're all just fucked up and getting down.

Speaker 1 And it's, it feels, even when you're watching the videos, it feels liberating.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh, wow, it's so cool dude I've seen like fat naked people with just shoes and socks on like jumping up and down dancing I was like self-conscious about dancing and then I'm like oh

Speaker 1 I'm fine

Speaker 1 yeah there's that and the supermodel over there you're like this is nutty yeah and then someone's getting their fucking dick sucked

Speaker 1 behind you and you're like what well there's a big like sex there's a big sex club scene there too huh yeah but even the non-sex clubs are like well you can just fuck a little just do whatever you fuck a little yeah

Speaker 1 I've had like two hours into this one. I just passed some lady just on her knees, just like going after this guy.
And I'm like, I'm like two hours into this person, like, okay, whatever.

Speaker 1 I was just desensitized to it. I've seen fans disappear and butts.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I've seen, like, wait, where does that? Oh.

Speaker 1 But, like, be cool. Be cool, Argus.
Act like you've been here before. Yeah.
It was so hard. I'm not cool.

Speaker 1 Be cool.

Speaker 1 You're trying to look out of the side of your eyes. Why don't I have sunglasses on? Yeah.
I know better. Be cool like that.
Yes, always.

Speaker 1 Yes, the first rule of nude beach. Wear sunglasses.
That's it. It's your friend.
Art, black, black, or silver sunglasses.

Speaker 1 We visit Spain a lot. And, you know, Spain is also another liberated country.
You walk on any of the beaches there, and

Speaker 1 you're certainly going to see tits, if not the whole thing. And they don't care.
There's literally children

Speaker 1 right next to the new women. It's just part of the culture.
They don't give us, they're not hung up on the stuff we are. But I learned

Speaker 1 wear

Speaker 1 sunglasses. We are sunglasses.
Yeah, don't scare at anybody.

Speaker 1 My favorite thing about Spain is the racism only against gypsies. Yeah, it's crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And we're like, gypsies? They're like, don't say that word in here.
Yes. And they're like, okay.

Speaker 1 They're like very on the surface about it. They're not trying to hide it.
Like, they fucking suck. No gypsies allowed signs.

Speaker 1 I haven't heard that. It is a little bit weird.

Speaker 1 But there, you know, there's like this separatist culture sometimes that goes on in Spain because there is a whole part, the Basque country in Spain that is a different universe.

Speaker 1 And they speak a different version of, you know,

Speaker 1 in some parts, they speak a different language almost. I mean, it's a dialect, but it's almost a different language.
But there's a separatist, like Basque country is different than the rest of Spain.

Speaker 1 And you need to be mindful sometimes about what, you know, what you say and who you're with. Yeah, it was cool.
Everywhere in Barcelona, you see those like Basque

Speaker 1 flags up. Yeah.
Like the separatist flags up. And they're like, oh, they want out for sure.
Oh, they definitely want out. Yeah.
They look like fairly minority. I like in Texas, Texas.

Speaker 1 Texas to America is what Basque Country is to Spain.

Speaker 1 So they believe they're a different country. Everybody says they're a different country.
They don't sometimes follow the same rules.

Speaker 1 But that's just, you know, there's just a long history in Spain of

Speaker 1 civil disobedience and unrest and stuff like that. The Spanish Spanish Civil War was not too long ago, actually.
Other people in Texas are like, Texas is a republic. It's not a state.

Speaker 1 And we're like, fuck off.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You can call yourself whatever you want.
Yeah, yeah. And Iranian is a Persian.
Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 My brother-in-law just moved there, and he comes back and he's like, Texas is great. I'm like, dude, first of all, you're Venezuelan.
Secondly,

Speaker 1 first of all, you just came from Venezuela. Don't act like Texas.
Don't act like you know Texas is a different country. That's Texas pride.
I know. But he's got it.

Speaker 1 He's been there for two weeks, and all of a sudden he's, you know, Texas needs to separate from the United States. And I'm like, dude, come on, really? Don't be like that.

Speaker 1 Get in the country first and then go from there.

Speaker 1 Who's your favorite guest on UB Trippin' and what was their, what, like, what's the favorite story you've heard on UB Trippin' so far? Okay, we just had the Trippy Awards for the first year.

Speaker 1 I took the first year of it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 The best guest, best trip is Harlan Williams. He took a back of the National Geographic.

Speaker 1 He was throwing one out and he saw it and he saw a little sign that says, would you like to go around the world for 30 grand?

Speaker 1 And it was a 35-day around-the-world trip. No way.
35 grand, 30 grand.

Speaker 1 And it was, you start in Los Angeles, you go west, and you go to the Galapagos, you go to Easter Island, you go to like Tibet, go to all these places.

Speaker 1 They take you on tours, they take you on different things as you're there, the Taj Mahal.

Speaker 1 It was so nice. Geographic has their own travel plans.
It was so nice.

Speaker 1 It's a private plane for 70 people. And on the plane rides, they had experts that were in National Geographic talk to you about the new coming place.

Speaker 1 It was such a wild show, and he's so funny with it.

Speaker 1 It's funny, yeah. Yeah, he showed me a picture of some guy at the Toshman Hall picking his nose so far up, it's like his body knuckle is gone.

Speaker 1 He goes, I've never stopped thinking about this guy for 30 years.

Speaker 1 Where did his finger go? I thought maybe he had no finger, but he pulled it out and he came out so far. And then

Speaker 1 but we've had some great ones uh joe list had one where he's trying to get a girlfriend back on the hike to machu picchu he's like his ex-girlfriend he's like do you want to go like and she goes just as friends he goes yeah just as friends and then he hangs up and goes getting her back right yeah and then she getting like terrible diarrhea on the way he's just going to try to like fuck her well she's just diarrhea

Speaker 1 That's been some good ones. That's been some really good ones.
Yeah, you've had some interesting guests on the show.

Speaker 1 Harland Williams, by the way, has that Disney money. He's got that Puppy Dog Pals cash.

Speaker 1 Puppy Dog Pals. What is that from? That's the name of the show.
You wouldn't know this unless you had young kids. Yeah, it's Puppy Dog Pals.

Speaker 1 He created it, and he does the voices, or a few of the voices, in this show called Puppy Dog Pals, which took over the, like, now it's Bluey. It's all about Bluey.

Speaker 1 But a cycle ago, it was all Puppy Dog Pals all the time.

Speaker 1 Disney Jr. Yeah, and it was created by Harland, and I think he wrote a lot of the stories.
So, and you know, I it was like Harland Williams? You could hear the voice.

Speaker 1 You could own you, you recognize the voice instantaneously. Drink piss and

Speaker 1 dumb and dumber. The guy who drank tea is dumb and dumber.
Oh, that's right.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right.

Speaker 1 You had Tucker Carlson on. I didn't listen to the episode, but that was an interesting get.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 what I'm trying to do is fight back against all this divisiveness by including everyone and taking them away from the thing that's being divisive.

Speaker 1 And everyone, the response is a lot of like, how dare you? I'm done with you. And I'm like, I'm on your side.
I'm making a guy who talks about something that makes you angry not talk about that thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So all he did was we shared a love of travel.
So I'm like, come in. We're not going to talk about politics at all.
We're just going to talk about some fun place you've been.

Speaker 1 We shared, I met him once and I met him. He did some little mini documentary on stand-up comedy.
And so we all did like remote interviews.

Speaker 1 Mike Publisher is like, if you do this, we will never work with you again. I'm like, that's nuts.
I'm not getting into that game. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
It's really just like what I had to say, where

Speaker 1 there's this theory that stand-up is hard now. Everyone's trying to come after us.
I'm like, that's a little of that, but it's a great time. Yeah.
They forgot

Speaker 1 where the Atlanta Hawks play.

Speaker 1 It's going great.

Speaker 1 Everyone's doing fine. Yeah.
Yeah. So we liked it.
And he's like, you know, I'd like to meet you. I'd like you to use my podcast.
And I went up to his.

Speaker 1 I was in Maine for a family trip and I was like, I'll come by.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he goes, well, it's the day after the debate, the Biden and Trump debate. So we have to talk about that.
And I was like, brother, I don't care at all about politics. I understand that's your thing.

Speaker 1 If you talk about it, you'll be talking to a brick wall. I don't know anything about it.
I don't care about it. It's boring to me.

Speaker 1 And he goes, okay, then I'll wait till the next episode. Don't worry about it.
And we just talked about other stuff. Talked about gospel music and all this, I don't know, the Talmud.

Speaker 1 He was reading the Talmud. And I was like, yeah, it was like fun.
And then anyone who was like, I hate this, like, well, read it, watch it. It's pretty interesting.

Speaker 1 So on my podcast, they just talk about the UAE

Speaker 1 and the problems with it and the cool things we've seen there.

Speaker 1 I would fall victim to this, if I'm being real honest, if I'm being real self-reflective. I would fall victim to this because I see the word Tucker Carlson and I feel a certain type of way.

Speaker 1 And then I'm like, okay, not going to listen to that. I'm not going to let it get under my skin, right? It doesn't make me discount.
the conversation. It doesn't make me discount you.

Speaker 1 It's just like, I just don't care for Tucker Carlson, but I do

Speaker 1 like what you're saying, which is. Yeah, he's a great traveler.
You know who we had on? I don't know if you've ever seen the guy, a channel 5 news, Andrew Callahan.

Speaker 1 You don't watch political stuff, but there's a guy on YouTube named Andrew Callahan, and he made a documentary on HBO called This Place Rules. And then, so anyway, he's a kid.
He's not a kid.

Speaker 1 He's in his 20s. And he started out as a kid.
Yeah, he's got millions. Is that all breaks, no gas? All gas, no gas.
All gas, no brakes. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. That guy rules.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So we had him on last week, right? And this show is not political. We try and like, we call it the commercial break, take a break from all the bullshit.
And so we very,

Speaker 1 that's my whole special. Yeah.
There you go. That's my whole special's point.
Great. I love it.
And your special is great. And it does, and it does do that particular ethos a lot of justice.

Speaker 1 But we had him on.

Speaker 1 And one of the reasons why I had him on, even though we don't talk about politics, because Andrew is saying we have to get to the reasons why people are so divisive and stop talking about and stop harping on the talking points that are making it so divisive.

Speaker 1 We're not getting anywhere with that. And so he put out a new documentary.

Speaker 1 He does a really good job of kind of like, you know, uncovering why people are getting to this point and who they are as human beings because we're, they're your neighbors, they're your friends.

Speaker 1 Everybody, you know, we can't go on forever just fucking at each other's throats. We have to, there has to be some conversation.
You make an interesting point.

Speaker 1 Let's take him away from the thing that's making him divisive and just make him, there's humanity there. Let's talk about it.
We have some shared interests. So congratulations.
I like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's funny. Week to week, people go, I can't believe you're this left-leaning hippie.
And no, I can't believe you're this right-leaning Nazi. It's like, I'm not doing anything.

Speaker 1 I'm just trying to talk to fun people about cool places they've been. I'm trying to make the world better.
And you guys are stuck in that thing.

Speaker 1 I think we're all at that point now where it's like, okay, we've all accepted we're all, we got to now go. So now what? Right.
Yeah. We know they're spying on us for ads.

Speaker 1 We know they're doing all these things. So now what? Yeah, how do we move forward? Yeah, and I try to think like, we've got to focus on something good in every situation.

Speaker 1 So, like, Tucker Carlson is a good example. When I went on his podcast, the comments were, first, this guy's a heretic.
He never read the New Testament, only the old. A lot of like Christians.

Speaker 1 We were talking about that talent. There was a lot of, I'm done with you now, Ari, after this.
There was a lot of, I'm done with you now, Tucker, after having this guy on. Wow.

Speaker 1 Like, like, we both got like thrown away by her audience for talking to each other. And it was like, you guys are like wild.
And then you get an occasional, like, really interesting stuff.

Speaker 1 Never seen the sight side of either of you. Yeah.
Well, we didn't talk about politics for four, five years almost.

Speaker 1 Then we said the word. And then the election came.
And we felt that it was just like too big of a story to ignore. We had to say something, but we didn't bash anybody.

Speaker 1 We just said, you know, Trump's president. And even though he wasn't our choice, we wish, we hope that everything goes well.

Speaker 1 And you would not believe that within a heartbeat, we had reviews of people. We're not, I'm not ever listening to you again.
You bashed Trump. And it's like, I didn't bash Trump.

Speaker 1 That's not what I did. I just said that he wasn't my choice.

Speaker 1 yeah, so everyone's this round up.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. I don't think you can change it.
You want to change it. You can't change it.
I think you just got to focus on yourself and just be like, you know, the starfish thing? No. What's that?

Speaker 1 There's two guys walking on the beach. And

Speaker 1 let's make it a guy and a girl so we can be inclusive today.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 it's a guy and a girl walking on the beach. And

Speaker 1 there's like a thousand starfish washed up.

Speaker 1 from the high tide. And they're like, oh my God, they're all going to die, you know, because they're not in the water.
Yeah. And it was like, this is weird.

Speaker 1 And so then one guy picks up one of the starfish and he like throws it back in the water.

Speaker 1 And then they kind of walk inside. And the girl's like, what's that going to do?

Speaker 1 It's not going to make a dent in all these starfish die. And he goes, well, it's going to matter for that one starfish.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you're right.
Yeah. So it's like you just kind of focus on yourself.
When everyone's doing that, I just go, okay, how can I

Speaker 1 reach across an aisle? How can I just focus on something positive?

Speaker 1 I mean, it's like, it's kind of easy. It's like five days on vacation, one day rained.
Yeah. All right.
I learned a new card game when we're stuck inside. That's fun.

Speaker 1 There's all of Modest Mouse music is this. It's just like focusing on the positive part.
And then your mental state is like pretty nice. Yeah.
There's this guy.

Speaker 1 Instead of going, look at that Trump flag on that house. Go, wow, look at that deck they built on that house.
Yeah. That's cool.
Focus on something positive. Uh-oh.
Ari's getting to me. I know.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ari's getting to me. And then you start to like, your mental state goes higher and better.
You're just like, you're in a good mood.

Speaker 1 You know those people who are like, one's always happy one's always obsessed there's one's cooler to be around you're right exactly you're right yeah you you you know the guy dr wayne dyer passed away a couple of years ago he's we have pbs all the time bald guy you know positivity anyway he called himself dyer that he died yeah he did he had this saying it said when you uh change the way you look at things the things you look at start to change right and um I think that's what you're saying, essentially.

Speaker 1 And focus on the things that are that are good instead of the things that divide us. You're getting him.
I had a friend who did this.

Speaker 1 I didn't expect to feel this way about this interview. I'm not

Speaker 1 even feeling this at all. I had this friend who moved to Los Angeles and he goes, he hated it.

Speaker 1 And he said, everybody's like, how do you like L.A.? He was there for a writing job. He goes, I hate it.
They're like, what do you hate about it? There's no change of weather.

Speaker 1 It's like burritos only everywhere. It's fucking the people are annoying.
And then every party, people ask him, how do you like L.A.? He got sick of saying the same reasons.

Speaker 1 So he goes, it's just a dumb conversation. I hate L.A., but I want to say this every single party of it.
So he started saying, like, I like it to have people just like, enough, I don't talk about it.

Speaker 1 And they go, what do you like about it? He goes, I don't know. There's no weather changes, you know, so it's good weather, good burritos.

Speaker 1 And then, like, after he started saying it, he said for like a couple of months, he started like liking LA. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It is true.
It happens. There is,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 I don't want to get like too woo-woo here on this. on this particular podcast.
I'll do that in my own personal life. But at the end of the day, the metaphysical becomes the physical.
It does.

Speaker 1 So if you are wishing the negative, if you are talking about it constantly, you're going to manifest and focus on those things.

Speaker 1 Which is not to say that you can just think yourself into being a millionaire. I don't believe that.
But if you can't also, you can certainly think yourself out of being a millionaire.

Speaker 1 Do you know what I'm saying? You can certainly focus on the negative and

Speaker 1 stay depressed and lazy and unmotivated.

Speaker 1 Sometimes the negative helps you, but it's like, look, I'm barely getting by, but I'm doing better than some third world countries. You focus on that.
And then you're like, I'm all right.

Speaker 1 It's pretty good. I live in America.
We have a lot of rights here. It's pretty cool.

Speaker 1 Well, let me ask you this, Ari, because this is term limits, you know, like a president. We live in a country where there's term limits.
Well, we hope to.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, we have to.

Speaker 1 So I was hooking up at this chicken college a long time ago when Trump won the first time. This was eight years ago.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, we had a little fling in a festival. And then so I asked her, she was in school in Florida, and I was like,

Speaker 1 what are college kids saying about

Speaker 1 Trump? Like, are you guys real pissed? Because that's like the bastion of like new liberals. Liberals, yeah.
Yeah. And she goes, you know, it's whatever.
I'm like, what do you mean? She goes,

Speaker 1 he's going to be the president for between four and eight years, but then he'll be gone. We also voted on legal weed and that got passed.
And so that's here forever.

Speaker 1 So we're all pretty happy about this election.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got a guy who's in and out and legal weed for the rest of our life.

Speaker 1 So it was like, you're like, A1.

Speaker 1 And I take this stance that, you know, in this country, at least, we have the freedom to vote for who we want to. And no matter who is in office, and you're right, the pendulum swings.

Speaker 1 You can make fun of them and you can wish them well. You cannot like the things that they do, but you can also agree that when they do things that

Speaker 1 are good for you or that you agree with, you should applaud those efforts because that is the way that the country works. Actually, rooting for someone to fail is rooting

Speaker 1 for negativity in general. Yeah, like so.
Like, let's say, I don't follow either side. I just, I gave up on it so long ago.
I was like, aren't they all just grooks? Didn't we all agree?

Speaker 1 Government is groats. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but they're the worst ones. And I'm like, guys, just don't talk to them.
Don't talk to them. You're like, this guy murdered seven people.
This guy only murdered two.

Speaker 1 It's like, just go away from all of them.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah, but

Speaker 1 it's like

Speaker 1 a lot of these people, they hate Trump and they hated Biden.

Speaker 1 If he came into the room and they'd be like, I'm leaving, like, you wouldn't talk to him and say, like, hey, Indian bargain, Cuba. You wouldn't try to have some influence? Sure.
I would. I would.

Speaker 1 Yeah. If Trump came in the room today, I would not leave.
If Trump

Speaker 1 say hi, be pleasant and not like, fuck you, bitch. It's like, great.
You said your thing. You've gotten no change in the world.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I agree.

Speaker 1 I agree with you 100%. We said this during the during the campaign.
And while this was not the

Speaker 1 platform for it,

Speaker 1 but if either of those candidates had said, you know, hey, I'll have a conversation with you. How could you at least not have that conversation, right?

Speaker 1 How could you at least not want to talk to them and try and get inside of their heads or have a conversation that might be meaningful or maybe even lead to some change?

Speaker 1 If you could get Biden and Trump, or not, then Kamala and then Trump. I forgot Biden pulled out, but those are the last two presidents.
So Biden and Trump in a room, and you're like, guys, let's talk.

Speaker 1 And then you bring them both drinks, you know, like, let's sit down, sprite, sprite. And then 30 minutes in, go, okay, guys, I have put Molly in both of your drinks.

Speaker 1 So it should be hitting right about now. Too late.
You're not going anywhere.

Speaker 1 So we're going to start liking each other. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Settle in. I'm going to put some music on.
If you feel like dancing, you can dance.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Biden, we got a walker for you.
You're not going to fall. Guys, it's going to be great.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Let me introduce you to Bic Frida and

Speaker 1 we will get up and we will go. What if we'll take him to a German sex club?

Speaker 1 We'll have him both dance naked with socks on. If it's me, I'm bringing a Myahuaska.
If it's me, I'm bringing a Myahuaska.

Speaker 1 I saw the most interesting reel one time. This guy had made an AI.
He had said, what if Trump did ayahuasca? He made an AI reel about the evolution of Trump if Trump did ayahuasca.

Speaker 1 And it turned him into, it went through all these pictures and photographs as he went from like this stern, grumpy, you know, kind of vengeful guy into this loving, caring hippie where his hair grew out and he was shirtless in the jungle.

Speaker 1 And he was sitting there like this, going like this. And I thought to myself, it could fucking fucking happen.
It could fucking happen.

Speaker 1 If Guy wants to do ayahuasca, Trump, if you want to do ayahuasca, I know a guy who knows a guy. I'm just saying.
We could do it together. You know a shaman.
You know the shaman.

Speaker 1 We could get the entire government out there to do ayahuasca.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 If we had the, if every, I mean, listen, ayahuasca is not to be toyed with. She is a fickle bitch, right?

Speaker 1 But if those who are ready would do it, I think that we probably have a little bit of a business. We could start with Molly.
We could start with Molly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I like starting with Molly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I went on the Daily Wire yesterday, two days ago. Yeah.
And

Speaker 1 they're just as nuts as the left wing, as the super hard, where they're just like, they have these talking points. They haven't really thought them out.
They just have these talking points.

Speaker 1 It's cool to see because I live in a liberal kind of bubble. So I mostly only see the left-wing ones, but it's funny to see the right wings.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 one of the questions they had in the stupid game show, like, would the world be better if every single person had to do have one psychedelic trip? And I was like, yes. And he was like, no.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, are you nuts? And I'm like, do you believe in God? And he goes, yeah. I'm like, who think who made mushrooms? Right.
Who made mushrooms? I get it on acid. Who made mushrooms then? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. I'm fucking so hard.
I'm like, you don't think it'd be better if everyone just one time removed themselves from their ego? Just one time? Totally. One

Speaker 1 thousand percent. If everyone

Speaker 1 the ego is driving us all fucking up a wall, then we would, I think most of us would agree. And that we're all connected.
And that we're all connected inside. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You'd feel like the tendrils of humanity all in the soil connected. Yeah.
And he goes, I don't want to get addicted. I'm like, you're a door.

Speaker 1 He's addicted to mushrooms. This isn't a 50s, loser.

Speaker 1 We have more research now.

Speaker 1 You're not going to do him again for a year. Shut up.

Speaker 1 Addicted to mushrooms. Get out of town.
Oh, my God. What a silly, what a silly thing.

Speaker 1 What a silly thing to think. Do some mushrooms.
You'll understand. You're not doing that every Tuesday night, right?

Speaker 1 Hey, Ari, I wanted to ask you something. Are you taking a break? Yeah, I'm going to go travel for a while.
Oh, are you good for a travel? Okay, good. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm going to sell all my stuff and

Speaker 1 go down to one backpack.

Speaker 1 Fantastic. Put a little bit of stuff in storage, get out of my apartment, and just go travel to South America.
No shit.

Speaker 1 Do you live in Nashville or where do you live? No, I'm just here for the weekend. Right.
For shows. I live in New York City.
In New York. Yeah.
So,

Speaker 1 yeah, I just want to take a fellow here. What prompted this? You're good.
Like, there are no health issues. You're good.
This is just, I just want to take a break. Okay.
I finished the special.

Speaker 1 I did my job. Then I did a little tour.
I'm in the middle of a little tour. Tickets at archiver.com.
I'll be in Atlanta.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're coming to Atlanta. We've been a guy.
Yeah, in March. Oh, you've been a guy.
All right. We will be.
Let me know. I'll give you nice tickets if you want.
Okay. Yes.

Speaker 1 I'll text you. You're texting my wife, so I'll text you back.

Speaker 1 I'm keeping it close. Oh, no disrespect.
I was just trying to rearrange the.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 I just want to rearrange the meeting. I just want to go have a lunch.
I just want to go have a busy lunch.

Speaker 1 We've been married so long. I don't care.
Whatever.

Speaker 1 But yeah, then I was like, I took care of work and I just want to see the world. Nice.
And you can still walk and like you have your health. And that's important to be able to charge.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You see these people. And Kirwa, you see all these old people with canes.
And it's nice. They're still doing it.
But like,

Speaker 1 I'm missed at 35. Yes.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I agree with you.

Speaker 1 And I think that you doing that indicates you have some level of like mental health because so many people, including myself, will just work yourself into a frenzy and just keep on going and just keep on going.

Speaker 1 I'll put it off. I'll do it next year.
Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 And even though I do do a lot of traveling, I can understand that it must be really difficult to take a pause and say, I'm actually going to take this year off and I'm just going to

Speaker 1 take care of myself. I'm going to do some traveling.
I'm going to go and do what I want to do.

Speaker 1 Enjoy the fruits of my labor. Once you get over like two to three weeks gone,

Speaker 1 you go to a second country that your anchor is not in your whole country. Your anchor's in, like, I don't have an anchor anymore.
You know, you go from Myanmar to like Thailand.

Speaker 1 You're like, I'm not coming from America anymore. I'm coming from Myanmar.
Yeah. Oh, I'm just floating.
I had a friend who just did that. She just got back from doing three years.
Wow. Traveler.

Speaker 1 I mean, she was able to work while she was, you know,

Speaker 1 she just went for three years, traveled the whole world. She was always

Speaker 1 different.

Speaker 1 And I mean, just the best experience. She's in New York.
She actually just moved back to New York. So, um, I mean, does anyone look at that lady's trip and go, lame? No.
No, no. No.

Speaker 1 Not a single person.

Speaker 1 And yeah. And you know what?

Speaker 1 You're going to come back and probably create the best special you've created because you're going to have perspective to work on, cut your teeth, converse experiences, meeting people. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you're going to dry the market. You're going to dry the RE market out.
There's going to be no supply. You'll build up demand.
There you go. Exactly.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Exactly. If you don't see me now, you're not going to see me for quite a while.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 You got to think about it that way.

Speaker 1 Ari,

Speaker 1 this is a conversation.

Speaker 1 We can talk forever. This is a conversation I didn't expect, actually, and I'm so glad that we had an opportunity to do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I play a heel online.

Speaker 1 You talk to me, it's like, oh.

Speaker 1 Well, actually,

Speaker 1 I never thought ill of you. I just was, you know, I was curious about some things.
Like, oh, I wonder why Tucker Carlson. Yeah, Tucker Carlson.
Oh,

Speaker 1 an interesting choice but you watch your special and it's clear that you're on the team of common sense uh humanity and uh being pragmatic about the way that you look at the world and i can appreciate you said hey listen i don't watch the fucking news haven't in years um that's something i wish i could do uh but i really appreciate your perspective and i've enjoyed this conversation yeah let's go we're gonna america sweetheart is

Speaker 1 yeah i will text you we will be there for sure thank you very much for the offer. We'll take you up on it.
I want to come see you.

Speaker 1 If I can come out to Mali for you, I will, but I'm just coming into town. So I don't know.
Well, listen, you're coming into town, so we'll take care of it. We'll take care of you.
Okay?

Speaker 1 This is our turn. Yeah, we'll take care of you.
We'll treat you.

Speaker 1 And when you wake up the next morning, we'll take you for some fantastic breakfast breakfast. Yes.
If you can see it.

Speaker 1 If you can see straight.

Speaker 1 Listen, we just went to Bill Murray last night, Chrissy and I did. And we're lucky Chrissy showed up today.
That's all I got to say. Oh, really? Tying it on.
Ice cream.

Speaker 1 Why not?

Speaker 1 Ari's brand new special, America's Sweetheart, is now streaming on the mega comedy platform, The Netflix. And he's also got his podcast, You Be Trippent, available on Apple Podcasts.

Speaker 1 Wherever you find your, wherever you're listening to this podcast, you can check out his. It is a fascinating podcast.
I've listened to a couple of episodes.

Speaker 1 I will now go listen to the Tucker episode. Permission granted, Tucker Carlson.
You granted yourself. I will hide in the corner and listen.
I'm granting myself. That's the Harlem one.

Speaker 1 Go to the Harland one, too.

Speaker 1 That's the one I'm actually interested in listening to, is the Harland one. Ari, we'll see you in a couple weeks.
You are welcome back anytime, my friend. Thank you so much.
Joyce, enjoy Nashville.

Speaker 1 And thanks for your questions. Thanks for your perspective.
Appreciate it. Thank you.
Bye.

Speaker 3 Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.
Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears.

Speaker 3 And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page.

Speaker 3 You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show?

Speaker 3 Leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822.
Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you can make fun of us.
That'd be fine too.

Speaker 3 We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay.
Just send a text. We'll respond.

Speaker 3 Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

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Speaker 1 Wow. Did not expect that conversation from Ari, and I'm sure I am glad that we had him on because I have a new

Speaker 1 level of fandom for Mr. Ari, and I can't wait to see him.
I hope that we get to go go to the show here in Atlanta.

Speaker 1 I'm going to have Astra text him. So don't get too excited.
If he gives us tickets, we're going to go. Maybe even if he doesn't give us tickets, then we'll go regardless.
We're going no matter what.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Back on the calendar.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've ever seen comedy at the tabernacle. Oh, you haven't? No, I've never seen comedy at the tabernacle.
I just saw Joe Rogan. You saw Joe Rogan at the tabernacle?

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. How long ago? Years ago.
Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah. And what did you think? It was funny.
It was? All right. There you go.
Look at that.

Speaker 1 Chrissy's at the tabernacle. That's my part of town, you you know.
That is. It was my part of town for a long time, too.
But then you get kids and you go north. That's what happens.

Speaker 1 Everybody goes north when they have kids for understandable reasons. There's more land.
You got, you know, whatever.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I don't want to get into all the local politics here, but Ari was, I thought, a very fascinating character. Me, too.
Really funny talking to him.

Speaker 1 I'm so glad that we had a chance to have him on, and I hope he does come back. That could have been a conversation that went on for two hours, if I'm being honest.

Speaker 1 But we don't get that much time with guests. We're no Joe Rogan.
Ari will spend four hours with Joe, but he won't spend one hour with us. Thanks, Ari.
Appreciate it. I'm kidding, of course.

Speaker 1 All right. So all of Ari's information is going to be down in the show notes.
I would certainly appreciate it if you go check out his new special, and I know he would too.

Speaker 1 America's Sweetheart, his tickets to his farewell tour. Yeah, farewell.
Did you know his farewell? It's called his farewell episode. I did.
I just looked it up after we spoke to him.

Speaker 1 I thought that was interesting that we just did a farewell episode a couple days ago, and now look at that. Ari's here doing his.
I guess he's going on a big travel expedition.

Speaker 11 And I wish him...

Speaker 1 Good for him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When I saw that he was taking a break, when I listened to his podcast and then I kind of put two and two together.

Speaker 1 You be tripping. You'd be tripping.
Yeah. When I saw that he was taking a break, the first thing that I thought was, oh, I hope there's no like health issues or anything like that.

Speaker 1 Hope he's not taking off because there's something that he needs to go do health-wise. But by all indications, he's just going to

Speaker 1 soak it all up. Yeah.
Enjoy life. And he's right.
He's right about this. You should do that before you get to the villages, not after after you get to the villages.

Speaker 1 Because there are so many times that I'm traveling and with older people, or I see older people and they're not having the time of it that they could have had had they done this 30 years earlier.

Speaker 1 That's not no knock on them. It's just like, he's right.
I don't want to be that person.

Speaker 1 I would rather do it now, have the memories, and then do what I can when I get older than wish that I had done all of that and trying to do it as I get older. Ari Schaefer, very funny.

Speaker 1 All the information in in the show notes, as it always is.

Speaker 1 Thank you very much for coming in, Ari. We certainly do appreciate it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ari Shafer.com, America's Sweetheart. Tickets on sale now and you be tripping.
All of that shit. Go check it out.

Speaker 1 Also, tune in this week as Chrissy and I delve more into our experience with Bill Murray and the Blood Brothers and what an experience it was.

Speaker 1 Average age in the crowd, at least where we were standing, 62. It was.
62. I was in the bathroom and the woman was talking about her cataract.
Yeah, how bad how things have changed.

Speaker 1 Times have changed. Yeah, usually at most concerts, you go into the bathroom and you see people exchanging blows.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got a doobie. Can I hit that? I got any shrooms?

Speaker 1 These people were talking about their cataracts. Or doing the trunk dance.

Speaker 1 As a couple of times.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, Bill himself is 74 years old. He's no spring chicken.
chicken, but he looked good out there. I do have to give it to him.

Speaker 1 He looked good out there. He went the whole, you know, he went full board the whole time.
More cowbell. More cowbell.

Speaker 1 Bink, bink, bink, bink, bink, bink.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 you know, I don't want to down on Bill because I know he's doing his thing, but it's clear that what Bill did is he found a band that he really, really likes, and he said, I want to help you guys out a little bit.

Speaker 1 Let's go on tour. Let's go on tour.
I'll sell the tickets. You guys take the cash.
I'll be at the Ritz. You'll be at the Red Roof Inn.
I'll take the private plane.

Speaker 1 You take the tour bus rented at U-Haul.

Speaker 1 You guys do the load-in, load-out.

Speaker 1 I'll be there 15 minutes before the show starts. And, but, you know, hey, listen, I'm sure if I'm in the Blood Brothers, I'm not complaining one bit.

Speaker 1 I've been doing this all my life at like shitty little dive bars. And finally, I'm selling out bigger venues.

Speaker 1 And it doesn't matter because now I get to hang out with bill murray and i'm sure there are some stories to tell oh to be backstage at the bill murray show all right 212-433-3 tcb 212-433-3822

Speaker 1 text us questions comments concerns content ideas or leave us a voicemail and you can be on the next episode of the commercial break make it short make it brief don't say your name if you don't want your name heard tcbpodcast.com all the audio video at the commercial break on instagram and youtube.com slash thecommercial break.

Speaker 1 All the videos right there on the YouTube channel. I love you.
I love you. Best to you.
Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Speaker 1 Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say. Goodbye.

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