TCB Infomercial: Ari Shaffir

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You may start at the feet or you may start at the head because I'm really wanting to blister some of y'all's haircuts. Amen.
That's right. I mean, you're in an independent Baptist church and you got a King James Bible in your hand and you got a contemporary liberal hairdo.
What in the world is wrong with you? Would you boys quit trying to look like the world?

You ain't as cool as you think you are.

You ain't as tough as you think you are.

Lord, it gets you a haircut that's high and tight over your ears

and off your collar line

and look like somebody that's been to the barbershop

instead of the beauty salon.

Amen. On this episode of the Commercial Break.
I learned the words to like beef. And then I'm like, what beef? And then they point to a giant sign of like 30 different beef dishes.
All right. Just guess.
Not the dog. Not the dog.
Please. Yeah, I had a dog once.
I didn't have it, but I saw it on the menu once. Did you really? Yeah, like, what is that? They told me, I was like, what's that word? And they were like, and I was like, chicken? And they're like, no, bark, bark.
Bark. And I was like, oh, that's all right.
That's I feel that. I'll pass on the bark.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens.
Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green.
This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

Best to you, Brian.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Thanks for joining us on a Tuesday after the Super Bowl.

One of the most uneventful Super Bowls in history.

I mean, eventful in the sense that it happened and there were commercials.

It was weird.

And Kendrick Lamar was there.

And so was Donald Trump and Taylor Swift.

We'll get into all of that tomorrow in detail.

But wow, what a blowout.

I mean, it was zero.

The Philadelphia Eagles manhandled Patrick Mahomes.

They did.

Manhandled Mahomes.

Probably the best quarterback, certainly, in this time period.

Shocking.

It really was. I don't know the first fucking thing about football and i was shocked totally shocked i did the second quarter i was like well this is over i guess i guess we're just gonna all sit here and watch the eagles absolutely did it look like it honestly looked like a high school team playing a flag football team it was like unbelievable how the eagles tore them apart in every aspect of the game.
What do they have like a hundred yards of total offense or something like that? And I don't even know what that means, Chrissy. I don't even know what that means.
Yeah, going into halftime, it was like 23. It was, yeah, it was 23 to nothing and 30 to nothing within the third.
Anyway, TCB infomercial Tuesday. You're not here to listen to football.
I know that if you're here to hear Brian talk about football, change the channel. Not going to do it.
TCB Infomercial Tuesday with Ari Shafir. He is here with us.
I'm so excited to talk to Ari. Ari is a noted comic who has many specials out there.
He's been doing this for a very long time. A podcaster, longer than I guarantee you and I have even known.
I've known about podcasts for a long time. I guarantee he was doing it long before we even heard the word podcast.
He's been on the bandwagon. He has.
He has. 2015, I think, is when he started his first podcast.
He's made many appearances on many different podcasts, including The Rogan Show, Tom Segura's podcast. And then he's got his own podcast called You Be Trippin', which is very good.
I've listened to it. It's really funny.
Now my fourth episode, and I've really been enjoying it. I just listened to the one with Jim Gaffigan, which I thought was really good.
Wait, did you listen? Harland. I listened to the Harland.
Oh, you listened to the Harland? Yeah. You listened to Harland Williams.
Okay, well, we'll talk more about that with Ari. And now he's got his brand new Netflix special is out, America's Sweetheart.
This one has got me, that one had me rolling on the floor. Yeah, it's really funny.
He is really good at what he does. So Ari is here.
We're going to talk all about it. He's also got his farewell tour.
I'd like to get to the bottom of that. Why is he faring well? I don't know.
We're going to find out. Will this be an eagle? No pun intended.
Will this be an eagles type situation? Where Ari just says it's farewell and then he comes back seven or eight times? Or is this the nail in the coffin for Ari Shafir? We will find out, Chrissy. Yes, we will.
Because I will go right at him. I'm going to ask him the tough questions.
Like, why are you calling this the farewell tour? If you're looking for hard-hitting interview styles where Brian talks over the guests the entire time, this is your place, my friends. This is your place.
But before we get to that, I have one note. Chrissy and I last week went and saw Bill Murray and the Blood Brothers.
A long time coming. I got these tickets for my brothers and for my father to go see Bill Murray, who the entire family just really enjoys.
Oh, yeah. I'm a huge fan.
Bill Murray, yeah. And we're from Chicago.
There's some connections there. So my dad has been kind of putting Bill Murray in front of us since we were little kids in the first Saturday Night Live, all of his movies, Caddyshack.
Of course, we can go on and on. Wasn't he in Stripes? He was in Stripes.
I love Stripes. Which is one of the funniest fucking movies ever.
That is Bill Murray at his zenith, in my opinion. Either that or What About Bob? It just depends on which style you like.
You could go Lost in Translation. One of my favorite.
Oh, Groundhog Day. Oh, Groundhog Day.
That's my favorite. Caddyshack.
A million other movies. Ghostbusters.
Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters 2.
Every single Wes Anderson movie he's been in. Yes.
Love those. Which was the one about the school, the kid in the school? Well, they're the Royal Tenenbaums.
Royal Tenenbaums was fantastic, but there was the one about the school. Anyway, you get it.
He's been in a ton of those. So Chrissy and I went and saw Bill Murray and the Blood Brothers or as we found out the Blood Brothers dot dot dot dot dot dot dot with Bill Murray playing the tambourine so and the cowbell and the cowbell and he sang a few songs we'll talk more about that later on this week also but I thought there was an interesting little like through line there when last night I was watching the Super Bowl the big game as they call it chrissy uh down in the big easy if you don't mind and bill murray popped on for about 15 seconds and gave his email address yeah bill himself at yahoo.com now i know i was getting tricked but i had to go along with it anyway you wanted to see i had to take the chance that we might actually be emailing Bill Murray.
That Bill might have spent four and a half million dollars just to have people email him so he could fuck around, right? Because that's the kind of guy that Bill is. He doesn't have a cell phone.
He doesn't have an agent. He only has a home phone that he never answers, apparently in Charleston, that Chrissy and I have tried to dial a number of times.
We did. And an email address is like one of the only ways that you can get a script over to bill it's like there's story after story after story about how hard it is to try and get bill murray to be involved in anything so i thought who the fuck still has a yahoo address oh no one so clearly this is his real email address because this is this is the way bill murray would have done it fax machine and yahoo email address

that's clearly what's got to be going on here yeah so i email that fucking email address and

what comes back is the strangest fucking story about him being a dog seeing a dog in the mirror

and then he had to go to the vet to get checked out it's like a really weird convoluted complicated

marketing scheme i guess is the best way to put it for for Yahoo Mail, an effort. To bring back Yahoo.
It's not going to happen. We all have bad memories of our Yahoo accounts.
We're not going back then. We all have bad memories of not being able to email, not understanding what email is, and Nigerian email scammers.
We all have a bad memory about trying to get $14 million out of South Africa. Okay, we all have it.
Everyone's got that story because Yahoo put us in that position. And I'm sorry, Yahoo.
I'm not going back. If I show up to a meeting, any meeting, even though I'm a dumb, mediocre comedy podcaster, if I was to show up to a meeting and say, yeah, my email address is bryanpodcast at yahoo.com.
People would laugh me out of the room. There's no serious person in the world that still has a Yahoo email address, is there? I don't think so.
No. Chrissy said no.
Even further back is AOL. Oh, don't even get me started on AOL.
I actually just emailed with a guy who had an AOL email address. Yeah, people still have them.
It's crazy. I think AOL is still sending out those disks.
Four free hours of internet. Download now.
Yeah. And then it would take you three hours to get the disk to load onto your computer.
Yeah, listen, those were the early pioneers of the internet, but they just kind of mishandled the whole situation. Didn't Yahoo get bought by somebody? I don't know.
I had a friend who worked for yahoo for the longest time he was like he would make banner ads for yahoo sir not for their clients but for yahoo and he would make like the tiles that would show up on the home page and he was really good at what he did he was like a really good designer and yahoo paid him a dick shit of money to do this day after day night after night he would create them like five in in a day. And Yahoo apparently was a great company to work for.
But somewhere along the way, Yahoo fell out of favor. And I don't know how that happened.
Yeah, they were a whole like homepage. You could get onto there and see all your news and weather and all of that and took your email.
Yeah. And then, yeah, we all migrated.
We all migrated to Google, where now they just, I don't know, it just says Google on it. It doesn't give you any information.
It just says Google. But Yahoo was so embedded in my life that I remember feeling, you know, there's like certain brands that you buddy up to, you really feel like, you know, you're there.
That's my brand. Yeah.
Like Bud Light was my brand for a while, right? I really liked

Bud Light. I wouldn't drink anything else

if I had the choice. I was a Bud Light

guy. When I walked in and I saw that blue box,

I knew that was mine. And I, she

knew I was hers and I knew

she was mine. You know, that kind of thing.

Yahoo, I had that same sentiment

with for a while because, you know,

Jam Land Productions at Yahoo.com.

Jam Land. Jam Land.
I forgot. By the way.
Your foray into, was it EDM? Live music production. Yes, we would put on festivals and live EDM concerts at clubs, fashion shows, grateful dead shows, slash EDM concert.
We're a little bit ahead of our time with that one. But jamlandproductions at yahoo.com, probably still out there somewhere, I would imagine.
But I felt like some kinship with Yahoo because they were my email service provider. But I think once I got a BlackBerry, it just all turned to shit.
I thought, I don't need that Yahoo anymore. But you know, strange thing about Jam Land Productions, that name is actually still alive and kicking with Pete.
I'm sure. With Pete.
Oh, right, with your guy. The DJ.
The DJ. With the DJ.
He's still putting on shows under the name Jam Land Productions. There you go.
We must go check one out. We must.
You know who else is putting on shows? Who's that? Ari Shafir is putting on shows. He's on tour.
He's on his farewell tour. He's hitting a bunch of different cities, including Atlanta, so we'll have to have a conversation with him about that.
We'll angle for free tickets. We'll see what happens.
Ari is very popular. He's got many specials out there on YouTube.
go to ari shafir.com for all of the information i will put links in the show notes uh you can also check out his new special america's sweetheart which is doing apparently well on netflix it pops up i don't know if netflix just like throws those things in front of me it's probably an algorithm right yeah it is you like back, yeah. All right.
They're fucking with me like the rest of the internet is? Okay. It's all an algorithm.
Well, anyway, you might have to go searching for it, but Ari Shafir has a new special called America's Sweetheart, and it is very good. You should go watch it.
We're going to talk to Ari about all of his comings and goings and maybe ask him about a few pop culture things and see what, take his, get his temperature. Let's do it.
What do you think? Let's do it. Okay, we'll take a break, Chrissy.
Let's do this. Let's take a break and then do the magic of telepodcasting.
We're going to have Ari right here in studio on that TV live and in person in front of us. We get to ask all the questions.
Are you have your questions ready? I'm down with it. Yeah.
Take notes. We'll take a break and we'll be back.
Rachel here. While Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boy's room, let's talk turkey.
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get back up the stairs

while you listen to the sponsors

and then we'll all meet back here

and get back to this episode

of The Commercial Break.

I'll take a raise now.

Bitches, bye.

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LinkedIn, your next great hire is here. Ari, thanks for so much for joining us today.
We really appreciate it. Thanks, guys.
Thank you very much. You're in the beautiful city of NashVegas right now? Yeah, it's pretty red.
I got drunk yesterday. You got what? I got drunk the night before.
Drunk yesterday. I lived there for five years.
It's a fun city. Yeah.
Yeah, it is. It's a nice door at 10.
Where do you go when you're in Nashville?

What's your favorite honky tonk to head out to?

I don't know.

I've avoided Broadway this time.

I'm in East Nashville for the first time,

which is kind of cooler.

Still some crime,

still some hipsters.

It's where the new gays are coming to try to take it back.

Yeah.

It's got a little grit to it.

Yeah.

You're doing a number of shows in Vegas, huh? I mean, in Nashvilleville huh yeah i got five they're all great club rules it's a really cool place yeah i got to hang out with nate yesterday and his wife were you but you weren't doing a show with nate were you no we don't have the same market at all he's so clean we got along but he's like oh i could never expose my audience no no nate is clean as a whistle when i watched his recent special i talked about it here on the air it was it's it's clean as a whistle it's different it's a different kind of comedy than i'm normally listening to uh but i thought he did an excellent job he's really good at his craft but so are you america's sweetheart is an excellent excellent set of comedy uh you did a really good job I thought it was really funny congratulations on it heck yeah thank you thank you I'm just trying to get people to calm down a little bit yeah I agree I agree with something you said I wanted to point this out because we were talking about um Kanye the other day and his young lady running down the uh red carpet what a. First of all, listen, you don't have to wear a giant coat.
If you wear anything underneath, you can just wear a t-shirt and a hoodie. That would make the same as a mink and a nothing.
Yeah. A hundred percent.
You were saying there is no sacred ground. All shock value.
Once your vag is out, then there's nothing else left to the imagination.

I mean, what?

Why even?

It's just nudge.

Why even have the thing?

We asked the same question. Which I'm for.

Yeah.

What is it pushing?

What agenda is it pushing?

Obviously, you're there

to get cameras.

I know what thing it's pushing.

It's a great body.

Absolutely. No doubt about that.
No doubt about that that not one person was like gross body the canvas is great excellent messaman I guess I got people talking that was the purpose and that's what Kanye does very well as he gets people talking and I was telling Chrissy here I said this is the first time my wife has ever sent me a nude photograph of a woman that was not her. So mark the time, mark the place.
She was like, did you see this? And I see it. I'm zooming in.
Quadrant 16. Zoom.
Enhance. For like 15 minutes Rolling Stone had the unedited photograph on their Instagram.
And I'm sure took a screenshot like i did but now when astrid looks at my phone and she sees a nude woman i'm gonna be like you sent it to me so i don't want anyone complaining i didn't even know there were nude women until you sent me that one now it's all i can think about but yeah conde age music rules that's what we should focus on yeah not just standing there like a loony. That is the point that you made that I thought was pretty prescient.
And we had this conversation in the studio a couple of weeks ago. We were kind of talking about how some of my children are now listening to Michael Jackson.
Because Michael Jackson is in some of these cartoon movies that he's got. Like he's got the bad thriller and stuff like that.
And I was like, I wonder if I should should have any feelings about that but i really don't because sometimes it's important to separate the art from the artist uh and you said something interesting i'm not going to butcher your joke but you said something interesting i don't follow kanye on twitter i follow him on spotify and i think that was a that was a really well done joke that is a prescient point like all artists are fucking Looney Tunes. Looney Tunes.
All of them. We went last night and saw Bill Murray and his blood brothers, the band.
So Bill Murray singing, playing drums, and tambourine very poorly. I'm a cowbell.
Bill Murray, the comedian, comic actor? Yeah, the comic actor. It was crazy.
He's got like an eight piece band that he travels that he travels well let's be real about this it's the band it's the band with bill murray yeah right right how was it it was actually entertaining it was actually okay i give it that i think that's a good way to put it it was entertaining i don't want to knock it because we had a ton of fun. We laughed a lot.
But this is a $5 cover band anywhere else without Bill Murray. This is the house band at some cheap bar that serves $5 drafts.
That's what it is. But they were talented, no doubt.
They were talented. There was a lot of good saxophones.
I can't say that about Bill. I want to see it.

Oh yeah, you've got to.

But yeah, they're all lunatics.

You can't judge them for anything other than the

thing they put out.

I don't want

my artists if they're not

a little bit insane.

Take away all the people who have done

shitty, all the artists who have done shitty, crazy

things and go and take your

Spotify playlist

or your CDs or your albums or whatever. Go take them and throw them in the garbage, and you will have nothing left.
There's nothing else there. So yeah, Kanye's a little crazy, but he's still- There's nothing else there.
You're taking heroin out of the arts. Right.
It's true. It's true uh so uh tell me about the traveling i got more into into kanye after all this legitimately did you as his my eyes everything was coming up and i was like and then my friends were somebody like hey i know he's like supposed to be like hates jews or whatever but have you heard this one song and i'm like oh my god that's really good how did i miss that one like it helped me focus on his music and i was like oh his music i passed by it this is amazing yeah yeah black skinhead slaps do you do you think while we're talking about kanye are you under the assumption i am that he's just trolling everybody that that's just like a master troll yes 100 i mean i am a troll so i can recognize it he's just saying stuff that gets people upset and it's also like some of it's like high school level right that hitler had some good ideas like we were saying that in fifth grade in a jewish school just to like tweak at each other right it's like, right, right, right.

It's just the easiest way to say something that people love.

Because the Volkswagen was cool.

Yeah.

Take that away from them.

A hundred percent.

Something came out of it.

Yeah.

Listen, the mustache never caught up.

So that was a failure.

It's true.

I think it's illegal in some parts of the world

to have that mustache actually, isn't it?

In Germany, I think.

Really?

Yeah, I think. Frowned upon, at least.
I think frowned upon. Yeah.
Yeah. Germans got super sad.
I do know for a fact that you cannot have the name Adolf anywhere in Germany. That's a name that you cannot put on a birth certificate.
Yeah. Really? He ruined it.
He did. No, there's no more A's.
One bad egg. One bad egg.
One super bad egg. Yeah.
What's going to happen to all the Donalds out there of 150 years for an hour? The Joes. What are we going to do, Chrissy, when we can't name our kids Donald or Joe anymore? You have an excellent podcast called You Be Trippin'.
It's really good. What gave you the premise you've actually i have to say this are you've been doing podcasting a lot longer than people have known about podcasting weren't you on rogan's episode number two or three or something yeah we're pretty early on we all were like looking for a way away from radio we can't cuss and we had to wake up at 6 a.m to do it yeah it sucked it always sucked you get some dumb fucking local local DJ didn't know anything it was just kind of like oh what are we doing here we came and cursed yeah and so then it was like I wish there was a way to do this in the afternoon and then with cussing and but nothing was there and then suddenly something popped their heads up and comedians loved it who drove right into it yeah it's it certainly has become a vehicle that i haven't done it for like 15 years it's crazy how long it's been around at this point yeah it's been around for 15 years when did you do your first podcast like 2010 right yeah i was on rogan's pretty early then then like probably a year later i started my old one and i stopped but like yeah i did that for like 10 or 12 years and now this new one it's just it's just like you have to become part of the landscape now it's pretty wild it really has i think that if you're a comedian an entertainer i mean it's like it's stand it's just a thing you have to do as a rubber stamp you have to get people didn't even know what they were no i wouldn't ask people to be a guest my podcast like what what is that it's like an internet radio thing it won't be live uh just to explain the whole format yeah like how like i that's not what i want to get into just when you come over and let me talk to you when we did our first podcast and we would i mean this is five or six years ago radio we come from radio we were we worked in radio back in the at the tail end of the demise of what was radio You brought it down.
You it that's true luckily we weren't on air we were on the business side of things so it was even shittier on the sales side than it was on the on-air side you thought the on-air guys were buffoons you should have seen some of the people we worked with i mean used car sales um yeah oh that been great. Local radio and the people that came at you guys.

Oh, yeah. It was entertaining.

Yeah, you're like going to

a dry cleaner and begging them to spend

$1,000 on two spots

that are clearly, or might

bring them some business, but you have to

be convinced that this is it, and

knowing damn well that every other

radio station in town is every other

person in town has come to them.

Calling on them, yeah. We used to hear stories

Thank you. be convinced that this is it.
And knowing damn well that every other radio station in town is every other person in town is coming to them. Calling on them, yeah.
We used to hear stories that in radio, when we got into, this was like 2005, 2006, so right when podcasting was coming online. That's right.
We worked for Clear Channel and what is now iHeartRadio. They didn't even have an app yet.
It was coming online as we were starting. So we used to hear stories about the heyday back in the 90s where they would have a margarita machine next to the fax machine.
Next to the cocaine. Next to the cocaine.
And the fax machine would just ring all day, people just sending an order, tens of thousands of dollars worth of radio because that was kind of the only game in town. You were either doing TV radio and tv was prohibitively expensive so but by the time we got there things were a little bit different they're just talking about what it used to be that's when i started comedy they kept talking about the 80s like it was great it was there were lines around the block we were talking in a room that was supposed to have a show but no one showed up and like wow sounds amazing yes that was great congratulations on you that sounds good for you but i think comedy right now is kind of seeing a renaissance it has oh yeah it's great it's great everybody's talking about it yeah the podcast and the comedy it's so popular around the world in hamsterdam every local show is packed really yeah in ber they're mobbed every show.
Do you yourself do a lot of traveling for comedy? I mean, besides here, like the continental United States, do you do a lot of traveling outside the US? No, I do. So comedy is really pretty cool.
Even when you're just beginning, there's this occasional free trip to a wild place. Yeah, that's what I was wondering me and my friend paul morrissey we got we got we did this comedy festival in montrose switzerland in like 2009 or 10.
yeah free trip out there they room and board we had them fly us back from amsterdam so then we're like let's take the train to amsterdam up to that and we just kind of made a deal with each other like let's keep doing these right I got flown to Hong Kong and Shanghai um Iceland and these are all times where I could not afford these trips for sure yeah and then you're out there yeah and then there's somebody there telling you like I got the hotel for you where it's so scary it's kind of like pre like easy internet yeah um and everything's so funny they're like oh I got a hotel for you I'll pick you up from the airport and then they just tell you some details like in shanghai like hey it's really safe here the punishments for violent crime are wild yeah there's like an embarrassment thing in this culture so like no one's like drunk women will fall asleep with their phone in their hand and wake up with their phone in their hand yeah it's crazy yeah so once they told me that i was like i'm free and i would just like wander out into like a place i couldn't communicate i'd learned the words for like beef and then i'm like what beef and then they point to a giant sign of like 30 different beef dishes and i'm like ah um all right just guess not the dog not the dog please yeah i had dog once i didn't have it but i saw it on the menu once i was like yeah like what is that they told me i was like what's that word and they were like chicken and they're like no no bark bark bark bark i don't like oh that's all right yeah i'll pass on the park yeah um it was like room temperature you could't even fresh. It was like, this isn't really a time that I start with dog.
You know what I'm saying? Like, would you ever try human meat? And you're always like, well, okay, what did they do? They had to do something wrong. And then also like, how's it prepared? Fine chef? Or just lying around? Am I eating raw, like alive? You know? But yes, it's blowing me all over.
So it's like really great and now i now i like book gigs you know even though i can't afford but it's like trips through europe uh i'll do i did one tour in greece and then stayed for like a week oh yeah i matched up a australian tour with this like rugby match how did you like australia i love austral. They're the biggest cokeheads in the world.
They're the biggest cokeheads and with the worst coke. So, if you meet an Australian outside of Australia, they're like, the coke is great here! And it's so cheap! You're like, no, it's not! It's full of baby legs in it.
Well, yeah, they don't grow it naturally. Everything there has got to be imported, right? So that's probably why it's some of the worst cocaine.
And it's so far away from anything. Where are they getting the cocaine from? It's certainly not coming from South America.
China, probably, I would imagine. Yeah, maybe.
Where does Europe get their cocaine? From Africa. Oh, really? Yeah.
I think they ship it over and they run it through Africa. There's like we went to um sevilla spain for a wedding which is like near the cape so you know you could take a boat over to uh africa and where the guys was telling me that this that sevilla while the beautiful and pretty tame town in general is known to have a lot of drug running through it like people will take over those boats you know thoseries.
Because it's on the water. Yeah, because it's on the water, and then they'll run drugs up into Europe and Spain.
On a ferry. That's pretty cool.
On a ferry. And Great Britain's appetite for cocaine has grown exponentially, so there's a lot of drug running that goes on through Spain so that they can get it up to Europe.
I know all about the cocaine, and don't ask me why.

It's not because I spent 10 years of my life staring at myself in a mirror on the table.

I was doing some self-reflection.

I'll be here all week.

This is everybody, like, do you like cocaine?

No, I don't like it at all.

Wait, do you have some yeah hey man that guy over there he's a coke head yeah really i'm gonna go i'll go talk to him i'll tell them i'll go talk to him probably get out of here i'll talk to him i'll be back in two to three hours we're gonna go to the bathroom together you didn't know what cocaine was and you're like, why is everyone's bladder so small? Everyone just keeps getting up. I've been to those parties.
Those are the only parties I went to for a long time. I was a manager at a bar and it was just clear as day.
If you knew what to look for, and I did, because it takes one to know one, right? If you knew what to look for, you would know. And then of course you always had the local dealer, you know, the guy that sits at the bar and you just kind of keep them in check a little bit.
You're like, Hey, don't be so obvious about it, you know, because it's good for business. Yeah.
Be less obvious about your cocaine. It was, we talked to Steve O.
It was like our couple, I don't't know, year, year and a half ago. And Steve was telling us that when he was getting high, he had a night with Mike Tyson where they did two eight balls of cocaine.
They sat in a Las Vegas bathroom for four hours doing eight balls of cocaine. Him and Mike Tyson.
He told this story and for like five minutes i didn't say

my jaw was on the floor i was like think about being in a room coked up with a certified killer a small room and i know mike see you know he seems now like a very self-reflective smart you know empathetic human being but there was a time this is coke mike yeah this is not it's not mushroom Mike is nice.

Pro bike is a problem.

Tell me what but there was a time. This is Hulk Mike.
Yeah. This is not, this is not mustard Mike.
Mushroom Mike is nice.

Hulk Mike is a problem.

Tell me what your favorite place to visit is.

Like all the places you've been,

what is your favorite?

I've always wanted to go to Iceland.

How was that?

Iceland is gorgeous.

It looks beautiful.

Yeah.

And then I have a friend who started the X-Landed comedy scene,

also named Ari.

And so he was like, let's do a little tour. I'll leave my family for a couple days and he'd show me the north and he knew all the little secret spots he's like over sheep meadow here i think there's like a fissure i remember this when i was a kid and you found a rope you just climb down it's just a hot spring like a natural hot spring in this fissure oh my god yeah and like no one's there you're just there swimming around and like in this hot water like swimming not just soaking in it for like two hours no one's no one's there wow it's so it's it's just so out there yeah yeah yeah i still rules and the chicks are so hot yeah yeah they all look exactly the same yeah they're all blonde and six feet tall.
Yeah. And they're forward thinking.

You're like, can I buy you a drink?

They're like, why?

All over Scandinavia and Iceland, they're like, why?

What do you mean?

Why would you buy me a drink?

Oh, really?

Yeah.

They're so equal there.

It's like, it's foreign to the beer.

I love that.

Hey, that's incredible.

Yeah.

So is Iceland one of the favorite places that you've been?

Iceland, yeah.

I like going to places where it's kind of like i can't like communicate with anybody or i can't like i can't like uh yeah exactly or i can't even like talk to home but it's like too far out where i'm really really lost yeah going through like southeast asia through like miyannmar and east timor and indonesia and south america too where i'm like it's just real Yeah. You just have to like try to get some of the language to where you can like just order some food.
You like a challenge. You like to travel where it's a bit of a challenge.
A new experience. I like being uncomfortable.
Yeah. And then Berlin also is great for drugs.
Berlin is the best. Berlin is the best city.
I have heard Berlin is great. I heard berlin is like the wildest party scene on earth wild and nobody cares about anything negative they only care about the positive so there's there's no more like bitching about like well i raised this way and it's hard that they're all past that like what are you into now yeah so i saw somebody that was like when i was there last time there was somebody new to berlin and they were like um well i'm non-binary and all these like trans chicks like oh no one's talking about that shit anymore like they were like yeah grow up yeah we're all so far past that and there was like what are you into what kind of music do you like yeah we're not talking about that dumb shit anymore it's like yeah yeah it's like

here this country going i'm gay like oh caters right 1987 we can't talk about gay anymore yeah yeah and the drugs are crazy and you just you're walking on the street and you hear like music and you're looking at like the side of a building and you're like what and you're like oh maybe that's a door and you kind of push it and there's a guy they're going five euros okay

and they just go in there and then there's like some like

industrial what? And they're like, oh, maybe that's a door. And you kind of push it.
And there's a guy there going, five euros. And you're like, okay.
And they just go in there. And then there's like some like industrial warehouse dancing.
Oh, I loved it. Fun.
That's incredible. I like sometimes watching videos about the Berlin club scene because it's just wild.
It's like literally an old steel factory in football fields large. not a space in between the human beings there's 10 000 people in there and they're all just fucked up and getting down and it's it feels even when you're watching the videos it feels liberating you're like oh wow it's so cool dude i've seen like fat naked people with just shoes and socks on like jumping up and down dancing i was like self-conscious about and then i'm like oh i'm fine i gotta be paired yeah there's dad and there's a supermodel over there you're like this is nutty yeah and then someone's getting their fucking dick sucked behind you and you're like what oh there's a big like sex there's a big sex club scene there too huh yeah but even the non-sex clubs are like wow you can just fuck a Just do do whatever you just fuck a little yeah i've had like two hours into this one i just passed some some lady just on her knees just like going off to this guy and i'm like two hours into this place i'm like yeah whatever i was just desensitized to it i've seen hands disappear butts.
Whoa! Yeah, I've seen like, wait, where does that, oh!

But like, be cool, be cooler.

Act like you've been I've seen hands disappear and butts. Whoa.
Yeah. I've seen like, wait, where does that?

Oh.

But like, be cool.

Be cool.

Act like you've been here before.

Yeah.

It was so hard.

I'm not cool.

Be cool.

You're trying to look out of the side of your eyes.

Why don't I have sunglasses on?

I know better. I feel like that.

Yes.

Always.

And no.

Yeah.

Yes.

The first rule of nude beach. Wear sunglasses.
sunglasses. That's it.
It's your friend. Hard, black, black, or silver sunglasses.
We visit Spain a lot. And, you know, Spain is also another liberated country.
You walk on any of the beaches there, and you're certainly going to see tits, if not the whole thing. And they don't care.
There like literally children you know right next to the nude women it's just part of the culture they don't give a shit they're not hung up on the stuff we are yeah but i learned the first time wear sunglasses sunglasses yeah don't scare at anybody my favorite thing about spain is the racism only against gypsies yeah yeah when we're like gypsies like don't say that word in here okay they're like very on the surface about it they're not trying to hide it like they fucking suck no gypsies allowed science is a little bit weird but there you know there's like this separatist culture sometimes that goes on in spain there is a whole part, the Basque country in Spain, that is a different universe. And they speak a different version of, you know, in some parts they speak a different language almost.
I mean, it's a dialect, but it's almost a different language. But there's a separatist, like Basque country is different than the rest of Spain.
And you need to be mindful sometimes about what you say and who you're with yeah it was cool everywhere in Barcelona you see those Basque flags up like the separatist flags up and they're like oh they want out for sure oh they definitely want out they're like the barely minority I like in Texas Texas to America is what Basque country is to Spain so they believe they? Okay. Yeah, so they believe they're a different country.
Everybody says they're a different country. They don't sometimes follow the same rules.
But that's just, you know, there's just a long history in Spain of civil disobedience and unrest and stuff like that. The Spanish Civil War was not too long ago, actually.
I love people in Texas like, Texas is a republic. It's not a state.
And we're like, fuck off. You can call yourself whatever you want.
And Iranian's a Persian. Shut the fuck up.
My brother-in-law just moved there, and he comes back, and he's like, Texas is great. I'm like, dude, first of all, you're Venezuelan.
Second of all, you just came from Venezuela. Don't act like you know Texas is a different country.
They have a Texas pride they have a Texas pride but he's got it he's only been there for two weeks and all of a sudden he's you know Texas needs to you know separate from the United and I'm like dude come on really don't be like that get in the country first and then go from there who's your favorite guest on UB Trippin and what was their like what's the favorite story you've heard on UB Tripp okay we just had the trippy awards for the first year i took the first year yeah yeah the best best guest best trip was harlan williams he took a back of a national geographic he was throwing one out and he saw it and he saw a little sign says would you like to go around the world for 30 grand? And it was a 35-day around-the-world trip.

No way.

For 35 grand, 30 grand.

And you start in Los Angeles.

You go west.

You go to the Galapagos.

You go to Easter Island.

You go to Tibet.

You go to all these places.

They take you on tours.

They take you on different things as you're there.

The Taj Mahal.

Yeah, National Geographic has their own travel plans. It was so nutty.
National Geographic has their own travel plans.

It was so nutty.

It's a private plane for 70 people.

And on the plane rides, they'd have experts that were in National Geographic

talk to you about the new coming place.

It was such a wild show.

And he's so funny with it.

It's funny, yeah.

Yeah, he showed me a picture of some guy at the Taj Mahal

picking his nose so far up.

It's like his bottom ankle is gone. He goes, i've never stopped thinking about this guy for 30 years where did his finger go i thought maybe he had no finger but he pulled it out came out so far and then but we've had some great ones uh joe list had one where he's trying to get a girlfriend back on the hike to machu picchu he's like his ex-girlfriend he's like do you want to go like and she goes just his friends he goes yeah just his friends and then he hangs up he goes getting her back right yeah and then she got a like terrible diarrhea on the way he's just trying to like fuck her while she's got diarrhea in the naked jungle yeah that's been some good ones that's a really good one yeah you've had some interesting guests on this harland wind but harland williams by the way has that disney money he's got that puppy dog pals cash that puppy dog palace what is that from that's the name of the show you wouldn't know this unless you had young kids yeah it's puppy dog pals he created it and he does the voices uh or a few of the voices in this show called puppy dog pals which, like, now it's Bluey.
It's all about Bluey. But a cycle ago, it was all Puppy Dog Pals all the time.
Oh, he was good. Disney Junior.
Yeah, and it was created by Harland, and I think he wrote a lot of the stories. And, you know, it was like, Harland Williams? You could hear the voice.
You could recognize the voice instantaneously. The guy who drank piss and dumb and dumber.
The guy who drank ghee and dumb and dumber. Oh, that's right.
Oh, that's right. You're so good at that.
You had Tucker Carlson on. I didn't listen to the episode, but that was an interesting get.
Yeah. What I'm trying to do is fight back against all this divisiveness by including everyone and taking them away from the thing that's being divisive.
And everyone, the response is a lot of like, how dare you? I'm done with you. And I'm like, I'm on your side.
I'm making a guy who talks about something that makes you angry, not talk about that thing. Yeah.
So all he did was we shared a love of travel. So I'm like, come in.
We're not going to talk about politics at all. We're just going to talk about some fun place you've been.
we shared I love of travel so i'm like come in we're not gonna talk about politics at all we're just gonna talk about some fun place you've been we shared i met him once and i met him he did some little mini documentary on on stand-up comedy and so we all did like remote interviews my publicist was like if you do this we'll never work with you again i'm like that's nuts i'm not getting into that game yeah okay yeah it's really just like what i had to say where it like stand up like this is like theory the stand-up is hard now everyone's trying to come after us i'm like, that's nuts. I'm not getting into that game.
Yeah. Okay.
It's really just like what I had to say where it's like stand-up. There's this theory that stand-up is hard now.
Everyone's trying to come after us. I'm like, that's a little of that, but it's a great time.
Yeah, yeah. They forget to do it with the Atlanta Hawks play.
It's going great. Everyone's doing fine.
Yeah. Yeah, so we liked it.
He's like, I'd like to meet you. I'd like to use my podcast.
I went up to his. I was in Maine for a family trip and i was like i'll come by and um and he goes well it's the day after the debate the biden and trump debate so we have to talk about that and i was like brother i don't care at all about politics i understand that's your thing if you talk about it you'll be talking to a brick wall i don't know anything about it i don't care about it it's boring to me and he goes okay then i'll wait till the next episode don't worry about it and we just talked about other stuff they're called gospel music and all this i don't know it's all much he was reading the tomlid and i was like yeah it was it was like fun and then anyone who was like i hate this like we'll read it watch it it's pretty interesting so on my podcast he just talked about the uae and the problems with it and the cool things you've seen there i i i would fall victim to this if i'm being real honest if i'm being real self-reflective i would fall victim to this because i see the word tucker carlson and i feel a certain type of way and then i'm like okay not gonna listen to that i'm not gonna get let it get under my skin right it doesn't make me discount the conversation it doesn't make me discount you it's just like i just don't care for tucker carlson but i i do like what you're saying

which is yeah he's a great traveler you know who we had on i don't know if you've ever seen the guy

a channel five news andrew you don't watch political stuff so but there's a guy on youtube

named andrew callahan and he made a documentary on hbo called this place rules and then so anyway he's a kid he's and he's not a kid he's in his 20s and he started out as a kid yeah he's got millions of

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millions of millions of millions of millions of millions of millions of Andrew Callahan and he made a documentary on HBO called This Place Rules and then so anyway he's a kid he's not a kid he's in his 20s he started out as a kid yeah he's got millions is that all breaks no gas oh yeah that guy rules yeah so we had him on last week right and this show is not political we call it the commercial break take a break from all the bullshit that's my whole special that's my whole special point great i love it and your special is great and it does and it does do that particular ethos a lot of justice um but we had him on and one of the reasons why i had him on even though we don't talk about politics because andrew is saying we have to get to the reasons why people are so divisive and stop talking about and stop harping on the talking points that are making it so divisive. We're not getting anywhere with that.
And so he put out a new documentary. He does a really good job of kind of like, you know, uncovering why people are getting to this point and who they are as human beings.
Because we're, they're your neighbors. They're your friends.
Everybody, you know, we can't go on forever just fucking at each other's throats. We have to, there has to be some conversation.

You make an interesting point.

Let's take him away from the thing that's making him divisive and just make him, there's humanity there.

Let's talk about it.

We have some shared interest.

So congratulations.

I like that.

Yeah, it's funny.

Week to week, people go, I can't believe you're this left-leaning, like, hippie.

And now I can't believe this right-leaning Nazi.

It's like, I'm not doing anything.

I'm just trying to talk to fun people about cool places they've been.

I'm trying to make the world better.

And you guys are stuck in it.

Thank you. leave this right-leaning nazi it's like i'm not doing anything i'm just trying to talk to fun people about cool places they've been i'm trying to make the world better and you guys are stuck in that thing i think we're all at that point now where it's like okay we've all accepted we're all we gotta now go so now what right yeah we know they're spying on us for ads we know they're doing all these things so now what yeah how do we move forward yeah and try to think like, we've got to focus on something good in every situation.

So like Tucker Carlson's a good example.

I get,

when I went on his podcast,

the comments were,

first,

this guy's a heretic.

He never read the New Testament,

only the old.

It's a lot of like Christians.

We were talking about the Talmud.

There was a lot of,

I'm done with you now,

Ari,

after this.

There was a lot,

I'm done with you now, Tucker, after having this guy a lot i'm done with you now tucker after having this guy on yeah wow like like we both got like thrown away by her audience yes talking to each other and it was like okay you guys are like wild and then you get an occasional like really interesting stuff never seen the side of either of you yeah well we we didn't talk about politics for four five years almost right and then we said the word and then the election came and we felt that we it was just like too big of a story to ignore we had to say something but we didn't bash anybody we just said you know trump's president and even though he wasn't our choice uh we wish we hope that everything goes well and you would not believe that within a heartbeat we had reviews of people we're not i'm never listening to you again you bash trump and it's like i didn't bash trump that's not what i did i just said that he wasn't my choice but yeah so everyone's this riled up like it's it's crazy i don't think you can change it you want to change it you can't change i think you just gotta focus on yourself and just be like you know the starfish thing no what's that there's two guys walking on the beach and um let's make it a guy and girl so we can be inclusive today. There's a guy and a girl walking on the beach and um let's make it a guy and girl so we can be inclusive today it's a guy and a girl walking on the beach and uh and there's like a thousand starfish washed up from the high tide and they're like oh my god they're all gonna die you know because they're not in the water yeah and it was like this is weird and so then one guy picks up the one of the starfish and he like throws it back in the water um and then they kind of walk inside and the girl was like, what's that going to do? That's like, it's not going to make a dent in all these starfish.
Yeah. Dying.
And he goes, what's going to matter for that one starfish? Yeah, it's true. Yeah, you're right.
Yeah. So it's like, you just kind of focus on yourself when everyone's doing that.
Just go, okay, how can I reach across an aisle? How can I just focus on something positive? I mean, it's like, it's kind of easy. It's a five days on vacation, one day rained.
Yeah. All right, I learned a new card game when we're stuck inside.
That's fun. This all of Modest Mouse music is this.
It's just like focusing on the positive part. And then your mental state is like pretty nice.
Yeah. Instead of going, look at that Trump flag on that house, go, wow, look at that deck they built on that house yeah that's cool focus on something uh-oh ari's getting to me i know yeah and then you start to like your mental state goes higher and better you're just like you're in a good mood you know those people who are like one's always happy one's always upset there's one's cooler to be around exactly you're right yeah you you you know the guy Dr.
Wayne Dyer, passed away a couple of years ago. You see Wayne on PBS all the time, bald guy.
No. Anyway, he's- He called himself Dyer that he died.
Yeah, he did. He had this saying.
It said, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at start to change, right? And I think that's what you're saying, essentially. And focus on the things that are good instead of the things that divide us.
You're getting to me. It takes just as much energy.
I didn't expect to feel this way about this interview. I'm having feelings.
I had this friend who moved to Los Angeles, and he goes, he hated it. And he said, everybody's like, how do you like LA? He was there for a writing job.
He goes, I hate it. I'm like, what do you hate about it? There's no change of weather.
It's like burritos only everywhere. It's fucking the people are annoying.
And then every party, people ask him, how do you like LA? He gets sick of saying the same reasons. So he goes, this is a dumb conversation.
I hate LA, but I want to say this every single party event. So he started saying like, I like it.
To have people just like, enough, I don't want to talk about it. And they go, what do you like about it? He goes, I don't know.
There there's no weather changes you know so it's good weather good burritos and then like after he started saying it he said for like a couple months he started like liking it yeah yeah it is true because there is you know so i don't want to get like too woo woo um here on this on this particular podcast i'll do that in my own personal life but at the end of the day, the metaphysical becomes the physical. It does, yeah.
So, if you are wishing the negative, if you are talking about it constantly, you're going to manifest and focus on those things. It's not to say that you can just think yourself into being a millionaire.
I don't believe that. But if you can't also, you can certainly think yourself out of being a millionaire.
Do you know what I'm saying? You can certainly focus on the negative and stay depressed and lazy and out of it. Yeah.
Sometimes the negative helps you, but it's like, look, I'm barely getting by, but I'm doing better than some third world countries. You focus on that, and then you're like, oh, I'm all right.
I'm pretty good. I live in America.
We have a lot of rights here. It's pretty cool.
Well, let me ask you this, Ari. There's term limits.
You don't like a president? We live in a country where there's term limits well we hope so like well yeah I was hooking up with this this chick in college a long time ago when Trump won the first time this was eight years ago yeah uh well we had a little fling in a festival and then uh so I asked her um she was in school in Florida and I was like how what's like what are college kids saying about about trump like are you guys like real pissed because that's like the bastion of like new liberals liberals yeah yeah and and she goes you know it's whatever i'm like what do you mean she goes he's gonna be the president for four and eight years but then he'll be gone we also voted on legal weed and that got passed and so that's here forever so we're all pretty happy yeah we got a guy who's in and out and legal weed for for the rest of our lives so it was like she was like a one and i take this stance that you know in this country at least we have the freedom to vote for who we want to and no matter who is in office and you're right the pendulum swings you can make fun of them you can make fun of them and you can wish them well. You can not like the things that they do but you can also agree that when they do things that are good for you or that you agree with, you should applaud those efforts because that is the way that the country works.
Actually rooting for someone to fail is rooting for negativity in general. Let's say, I don't follow either side.
I i gave up on it so long ago i was like don't they all just gross didn't we all agree government is gross yes people like yeah but they're the worst ones and i'm like guys just don't talk to them don't talk to you're like this guy murdered seven people this guy only murdered two it's like just go away from all of them it's like yeah but but it's like but it's like, uh, it's a lot of these people, like they hate Trump and they hate Biden. Like if he came into the room and they'd be like, I'm leaving.
Like you wouldn't talk to him and say like, Hey, Indian party on Cuba. You wouldn't try to like have some influence.
Sure. I would, I would.
Yeah. If Trump came in the room today, I would not leave.
If Trump, I'd have to say hi, be pleasant and not like, fuck you, bitch. It's like, great.
You said your thing. You've got no change in the world.
Yeah. Yeah.
Just don't follow it. I agree with you 100%.
We said this during the campaign. And while this was not the platform for it, but if either of those candidates had said, you know, hey, I'll have a conversation with you, how could you at least not have that conversation that conversation right how could you at least not want to talk to them and try and get inside of their heads or have a conversation that might be meaningful or maybe i can lead to some change if you could get biden and trump or not then come out and then trump forgot i pulled out but those are the last two presidents so biden and trump in a room.
And you're like, guys, let's talk.

And then you bring them both drinks, you know, like, let's sit down, Sprite, Sprite.

And then 30 minutes in, go, okay, guys, I have put Molly in both of your drinks.

So it should be hitting right about now.

Too late.

You're not going anywhere.

So we're going to start liking each other.

Yeah.

Settle in.

I'm going to put some music on.

If you like dancing, you can dance.

Yeah. Biden, we got a walker for you.
You're gonna fall guys it's gonna be great yeah let me introduce you a big frida and uh and we will and we will get up and we will go what if we'll take him to a german sex club we'll have him both hands naked with socks on if it's me i'm bringing a mayawasca if it's me i'm bringing him ayahuasca i saw i saw the most interesting real one time this guy had made an ai he had said what if trump did ayahuasca he made an ai reel about the evolution of trump if trump did ayahuasca and it turned him into it went through all these pictures and photographs as he went from like this stern grumpy you know kind of vengeful guy into this loving caring hippie where his hair grew out and he was in the jungle and he was sitting there like this going like that and i thought to myself it could fucking happen it could fucking happen if guy wants to do ayahuasca trump if you want to do ayahuasca i know a a guy who knows a guy. I'm just saying.
We can do it together. You know a shaman.
You know a shaman. I know a shaman.
We can get the entire government out there to do ayahuasca. Yes.
Hooray. Yes.
If we had the, if every, I mean, listen, ayahuasca is not to be toyed with. She is a fickle bitch, right? But if those who are ready would do it, I think that we probably have a little bit we could start with molly we can start with molly yeah i like i like starting with molly yeah i was just i went on the daily wire yesterday a few days ago yeah and um and uh they're they're just as nuts as the as the left wing as the super hard where they're just like they have these talking points they haven't really thought them out they just have these talking points it's to see, because I live in a liberal kind of bubble.
So I mostly only see the left wing ones, but it's funny to see the right ones. But one of the questions they had in this stupid game show, like, would the world be better if every single person had to have one psychedelic trip? And I was like, yes.
And the guy was like, no. And I'm like, are you nuts? And I'm like, do you believe in God? And he goes, yeah.
I'm like, who made mushrooms? Who made mushrooms? I'd get it on acid. Who made mushrooms then? Yeah.
That's crazy. I fought that so hard.
I'm like, you don't think it'd be better if everyone just one time removed themselves from their ego? Totally. Just one time? Totally.
1,000%. If everyone would see how the ego is driving us all fucking up a wall, then I think most of us would agree.
And then we're all connected. And then we're all connected.
Oh, yeah. You'd feel like the tendrils of humanity all in the soil connected.
Yeah, and he goes, I don't want to get addicted. I'm like, you're a dork.
No one gets addicted. Addicted to mushrooms.
Okay, this isn't a 50s loser. We have more research now.
You're not going to do them again for a year. Shut up.
Dick to the mushrooms. Get out of town.
What a silly thing to think. Do some mushrooms.
You'll understand. You're not doing that every Tuesday night, right? Hey, Ari, I wanted to ask you something.
Are you taking a break? Yeah, I'm going to go travel for a while. Oh, are you? Good for you.
Yeah, I'm going to sell all my stuff and go down to one backpack. Fantastic.
Put a little bit of stuff in storage, get out of my apartment, and just go travel to South America. No shit.
Southeast Asia. Do you live in Nashville, or where do you live? No, I'm just here for the weekend for shows.
I live in New York City. In New York.
Yeah, so, yeah, I just wanted to take a fallow year. What prompted this? You're good.
Like, there's no health issues. You're good.
This is just, I just want to take a break. Yeah.
I finished a special. I did my job.
Then I did a little tour. I'm in the middle of a little tour.
Tickets at rshabre.com. We'll be in Atlanta.
Oh, you're coming to Atlanta. We've got to go.
Yeah, in March. Oh, we've got to go.
All right, we will be. Let me know.
I'll give you the next tickets if you want. Okay text you you're texting my wife so I'll text you back I'm keeping it close no disrespect I just want to rearrange the meeting you just want to go have a lunch you just want to go have a boozy lunch we've been married so long I don't care whatever but uh but yeah and then i was like i took care of work and i just want to see the world nice and you can still walk and like you have your health and that's important to be able to oh yeah you see these people anchor walk you see all these old people with canes and it's nice they're still doing it but like but still 35 yes, I know.
It's 35. Yes.
Yeah, definitely. I agree with you.
And I think that you doing that indicates you have some level of mental health because so many people, including myself, will just work yourself into a frenzy and just keep on going and just keep on going. I'll put it off.
I'll do it next year. I'll blah, blah, blah.
And even though I do do a lot of traveling, I can understand that it must be really difficult to take a pause and say, I'm actually going to take this year off and I'm just going to take care of myself. I'm going to do some traveling.
I'm going to go and do what I want to do. Such a great idea.
Enjoy the fruits of my labor. Once you get over like two or three weeks gone and you go to a second country, potentially your anchor's not even from your old country.
Your anchor's in like,

I don't have an anchor anymore.

You know, go from Myanmar to like Thailand.

You're like, I'm not coming from America anymore.

I'm coming from Myanmar.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm just floating.

I had a friend who just did that.

She just got back from doing three years.

Wow.

I mean, she was able to work while she was, you know,

but she just went for three years,

traveled the whole world. She was always different.
And I mean, just the best experience. She's in New York.
She actually just moved back to New York. So I mean, just anyone look at that lady's trip and go lame.
No, no, no, not a single person. And yeah.
And you know what? You're going to come back and probably create the best special that you've created because you're going to have perspective to work on, cut your teeth, conferences, meeting people. Yeah.
And you're going to dry the market. You're going to dry the Ari market out.
There's going to be no supply. You'll build up demand.
There you go. Exactly.
Exactly. If you don't see me now, you're not going to see me for quite a while.
Yeah. Right.
You got to think about it that way. Ari, this is a conversation.
We can talk forever. This is a conversation I didn't expect, actually, and I'm so glad that we had an opportunity to do it.
I play a heel on mine, so when you talk to me, it's like, oh. Well, actually, I never thought heel of you.
I just was curious you know, I was curious about some things. Like, oh, I wonder why Tucker Carlson.
Yeah, Tucker Carlson. Oh, right, right, right.
An interesting choice. But you watch your special, and it's clear that you're on the team of common sense, humanity, and being pragmatic about the way that you look at the world.
And I can appreciate you said, hey, listen, I don't watch the fucking news. Haven't in years um that's something i wish i could do uh but i really appreciate your perspective and i've enjoyed this conversation yeah that's good we're gonna america's sweetheart is okay yeah i will text you we will be there for sure thank you very much for the offer we'll take you up on it i want to come see if i can molly for you i will but i.
Well, listen, you're coming into town, so we'll take care of it.

We'll take care of you, okay?

This is our turn.

Let us treat you.

And when you wake up the next morning, we'll take you for some fantastic breakfast and burgers.

Yes.

If you can see straight.

Listen, we just went to Bill Murray last night.

Chrissy and I did.

And we're lucky Chrissy showed up today. That's all I got to say.
Oh, really? Tying it on. Nice, Chrissy.
Yeah, why not? Ari's brand new special, America's Sweetheart, is now streaming on the mega comedy platform, the Netflix. And he's also got his podcast, You Be Trippin', available on Apple Podcasts, wherever you find your, wherever you're listening to this podcast, you can check out his it is a fascinating podcast I've listened to a couple of episodes, I will now go listen to the Tucker episode, permission granted Tucker Carlson, I will hide in the corner and listen I'm granting myself, go to the Harland one too that's the one I'm actually interested in listening to is the Harland one, Ari, we'll see you in a couple weeks.
You are welcome back anytime, my friend. Thank you so much.
Enjoy Nashville. And thanks for your perspective.
Appreciate it. Thank you.
Bye. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB.
And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.
Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire Commercial Break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.com.
Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822.
Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you can make fun of us.
That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe.
Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text.

We'll respond. Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out ours.
Hmm, that's music to my ears. I can only talk.
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Wow. Did not expect that conversation from Ari and I'm sure I'm glad that we had him on because I have a new level of fandom for Mr.
Ari and I can't't wait to see him i hope that we get to go to the show here in atlanta uh i'm gonna have astro text him so don't get too excited if he gives us tickets we're gonna go maybe even if he doesn't give us tickets then we'll we'll go regardless we're going no matter what yeah i've got on the calendar i've never i don't think i've ever seen comedy at the tabernacle so you haven't no i've never seen comedy at the tabernacle the Tabernacle. I actually saw Joe Rogan there.
You saw Joe Rogan at the Tabernacle? Rachel and I, yeah. Really? Yeah.
How long ago? Years ago. Really? Yeah.
And what did you think? It was funny. It was? All right.
There you go. Look at that.
Chrissy's at the Tabernacle watching. That's my part of town, you know.
That is. It was my part of town for a long time, too.
But then you get kids and you go north. That's what happens.
Everybody goes north when they have kids for understandable reasons.

There's more land.

You got, you know,

whatever.

Anyway, I don't want to get

into all the local politics here,

but Ari was, I thought,

a very fascinating character.

Me too.

Really funny.

What a great time talking to him.

And I'm so glad

that we had a chance

to have him on

and I hope he does come back.

That could have been

a conversation that went on

for two hours,

if I'm being honest.

But we don't get

that much time with guests.

We're no Joe Rogan.

Ari will spend four hours with Joe, but he won't spend one hour with us thanks ari appreciate it i'm kidding of course um all right so all of ari's information is going to be down in the show notes i would certainly appreciate it if you go check out his new special and i know he would too america's sweetheart his tickets to his farewell tour yeah did you? It's called his farewell tour. I did.
I just looked it up after we spoke to him. I thought that was interesting that we just did a farewell episode a couple days ago.
And now look at that. Ari's here doing his farewell tour.
Well, I guess he's going on a big travel expedition. I wish him.
Good for him. Yeah.
That sounds fun. When I saw that he was taking a break, when I listened to his podcast and then I kind of put two and two together.
Which is called, you be tripping. You be tripping, yeah.
When I saw that he was taking a break, the first thing that I thought was, oh, I hope there's no health issues or anything like that. Hope he's not taking off because there's something that he needs to go do health-wise.
But by all indications, he's just going to soak it all up. Yeah.
Enjoy life. And he's right.
He's right about this. You should do that before you get to the villages not after you get to the villages because there are so many times that i that i'm traveling and with older people or i see older people yes and they're not having the time of it that they could have had had they done this 30 years earlier that's not no knock on them it's just like he's right i don't want to be I would rather do it now, have the memories, and then do what I can when I get older than wish that I had done all of that and trying to do it as I get older.
Ari Schaefer, very funny. All the information in the show notes, as it always is.
Thank you very much for coming in, Ari. We certainly do appreciate it.

Yeah.

AriSchafer.com, America's Sweetheart.

Tickets on sale now and you be tripping.

All of that shit.

Go check it out.

Also, tune in this week as Chrissy and I delve more into our experience with Bill Murray and the Blood Brothers and what an experience it was. Average age in the crowd, at least where we were standing, 62.
It was. 62.
I always was in the bathroom, but the woman was talking about her cataracts. Yeah.
Oh, man, how things have changed. Times have changed.
Yeah, usually at most concerts, you go into the bathroom and you see people exchanging blow. Right.
Yeah, you got a doobie? Can I hit that? I got any shrooms?

You know, this, these people were talking about their cataracts or doing the trunk dance.

Oh, that one guy.

That one guy.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, Bill himself is 74 years old.

He's no spring chicken, but he looked good out there.

I do have to give it to him.

He looked good out there.

He went the whole, you know, he went full bore the whole time.

More cowbell. More cowbell.

More cowbell.

Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink.

Well,

you know,

I don't want to down on Bill because

I know he's doing his thing, but

it's clear that what Bill

did is he found a band that he

really, really likes, and he said,

I want to help you guys out a little bit. Yeah, let's go on tour.
Let's go on tour. I'll sell the tickets.
You guys take the cash. I'll be at the Ritz.
You'll be at the Red Roof Inn. I'll take the private plane.
You take the tour bus rented at U-Haul. You guys do the load in, load out.
I'll be there 15 minutes before the show starts.

But, you know, hey, listen, I'm sure if I'm into Blood Brothers, I'm not complaining one bit.

I've been doing this all my life.

I like shitty little dive bars.

And finally, I'm selling out bigger venues.

And it doesn't matter because now I get to hang out with Bill Murray.

And I'm sure there are some stories to tell.

Oh, to be backstage at the Bill Murray show. All right.

212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822. Text us questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, or leave us a voicemail, and you can be on the next episode of The Commercial Break.
Make it short, make it brief. Don't say your name if you don't want your name heard.
TCBpodcast.com, all the audio, video, add the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com slash the commercial break. All the videos right there on the YouTube channel.
I love you. I love you.
Best to you. Best to you.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye.
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