There's Bass Ass In The Chattahoochee Coochee!

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On this episode of the Commercial Break. And I'm not naive enough to believe that there's not poop in most of our waterways.
That's probably how it works. That's how it's worked for eons and decades, you know, since humans have been around.
And animals. Animals, yeah.
Animals poop in that water all the time, too. All the bass poop.
Listen, I can get over that. The bass poop, that's what I worry about is the bass poop.
Bass ass, that's what I'm worried about. When I'm going down that Chattahoochee River, I think about bass ass.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.
I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley.
Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us.
I certainly do appreciate it. I was just here reading.
There's a Facebook page called I Grew Up Atlanta. Okay.
And they are talking about the beginnings of the Great American Ramblin' Raft Race, which then became Shooting the Hooch. Shooting the Hooch.
Shooting the Chattahoochee. I'm sure every town that has a river or a big stream has some version of this.
A million people decide on one day that they're going to get together, put their rafts inside of the flowing water, and head on down a big old boozy Sunday. With a bunch of beer, yeah.
With a bunch of beer and rowdy teenagers and, you know, just have a good party of it. This was a huge ordeal in Atlanta for a long time.
Now, it was coming to kind of a ceremonial close as I moved to Atlanta. So I didn't get the full.
It started in 1979. Apparently, some Georgia Tech students decided to get their fraternity and sorority sisters and brothers together and do this.
And then it became a big thing. The radio stations locally would sponsor it and they would hype it up.
and so it became tens of thousands of people riding down the Chattahoochee River on their rafts. Now, I often say to people, people come in town, and they say, hey, Brian, because I am a noted tour guide.
They say, hey, Brian, what is there to do in Atlanta? What about that Chattahoochee-hoochee? That Chattahoochee-coochee that everyone's talking about. And I say, if you want strepococcus A, feel free to dip your toes in the Chattahoochee-coochee because that's exactly what it is.
It's a hoochee-coochee. And it is known to have bacteria in it that you probably don't want the human body coming in contact with.
Like a lot of other places with flowing water and bodies of water around it, the water's not always so clean. Now, we've done a good job of cleaning it up.
There was a good cleanup effort, yeah. The Chattahoochee River Keepers are a favorite charity of mine that do God's work by going out there and picking up old condoms and dead cows out of the Chattahoochee River.
But still, you're taking your life into your own hands if you're riding down that Chattahoochee River in a raft. I swear to God.
I did it once. I'm not doing it again.
No fucking way. I asked her to say, this is a conversation we have once a year.
She says, what if we get it- Every summer. Every spring.
Yeah. Yeah.
When we see those, because we live near the river. So we drive over the river a lot on the bridges over the river.
And she'll say to me, hey, look, those people out there. And I say i say yeah those fucking lunatics out there putting you know with an early death wish out there in the chattahoochee river there are so many things that could go wrong in flowing water and she at once a year thinks it's a good idea to take our small children and all of them onto an inner tube and ride down that chattahoochee to which i say no we not doing that.
Because not only do we have to contend with flowing water, rocks, and all kind of other stuff. Yeah.
I've seen adults get in trouble out there. I've done this probably 10 times, 11 times in my life.
And I've seen full-grown ass men get caught somewhere on the river in some kind of trouble. Because these aren't motorized crafts.
They're just inner tubes that were blown up by some teenager getting paid $12 an hour. And then they throw you in the river and they say, good luck.
And you're like, oh, where do I stop? I don't know either. But when you do, there'll be a bus there waiting for you.
Yeah. Good luck with that.
There's no sign. No one knows what's going on.
They don't tell you where the rocks are. They don't have anybody there directing traffic.
It's a big clusterfuck. And besides all of that, you can't be assured of what's in or out of the river.
Now, I'm a noted germaphobe. Not like Howie Mandel germaphobe, but I'm a noted germaphobe.
I just can't take the thought that I would put my mouth, my head, my hands in a river where people have been known to get brain-eating amoebas inside of their nostrils and die from it. It's not for me.
So while this looks like shits and giggles, you know, 10,000 people on a raft in the middle of the Chattahoochee, it's not like that anymore, Chrissy. It's not like the good old days.
Now we got microplastics in our brains. Yeah, that's already there.
So all of that is to say the first annual commercial break, TCB shooting the hooch for charity will be down there. I remember one year we're driving along and my dad's radio station, whichever one we were either listening to Angry Talk Radio, B98.5, which was like the soft rock channel.

She's like the wind, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.

You know, all those frilly love songs.

The Eagles.

The Eagles, yeah.

Take it easy, take it easy.

Or we were listening to Z93, which is classic rock.

Led Zeppelin, Purple Haze, stuff like that. One of those three stations.
All of them were promoting that damn shooting the hooch shit. I was a young man.
And one of the radio stations had the brilliant idea that for a dollar, you could get a rubber ducky. And they would put your name on the rubber ducky.
They would throw it down the hooch with the rest of the rafts. And then whichever one came in first had a chance to win $10,000.

So it was like a contest that they were doing.

Like a race of the duckies.

Yes, the race of the duckies.

Now I'm thinking about this many years later as I'm looking at this post.

That I think my dad was convinced to buy one of those rubber duckies at one point.

My dad, he did not, he wasn't a frivolous man.

He did not do things like this.

But for some reason I remember there was a rubber ducky that we bought or something. Of course, we didn't win the $10,000 because who's keeping track of those rubber duckies once they get in the river? Who? Who's keeping track of those? How do they make sure they catch all of them? Where was the rubber ducky going? Where was it supposed to get off? Who was in charge of making sure the rubber ducky got off? It is a non-motorized rubber ducky without even a human being on it.
What are you doing? Unbelievable how things have changed. Yeah, that's when you used to, everybody threw everything into the river.
Everybody threw everything into the river. I think there was a river in Buffalo, New York that was on fire for a decade or something like that.
It was in Ohio. Oh, the river of fire in Ohio.
Yeah. It just didn't set itself on fire and it was on fire for like 10 years or something.
It's like that, remember they were trying to clean up the Seine River for the French Olympics? Yeah, I don't ever think they really, I don't ever think they had swimming there. No, they did.
Oh, they did. People were complaining.
The Olympians were complaining. Oh, they were like, ah, this is not.
This sucks, yeah. Yeah, I mean, that was never a good idea.
That was never a good idea. I've been to Paris.
I saw them pulling stuff out of the river. There were like, I don't know what you call them.
There are people who take them, like the magnet fishers. Do you know what I'm talking about? So they take huge magnets, they put them in the water, and they see what they can pull up.
So we were watching some magnet fishers around the Lovelock Bridge. For like old coins and artifacts and stuff.
Yeah, that's not what they were picking up. They were picking up bicycles left and right because apparently in Paris, it's just a thing when you get done with your bike, when your bike's old, it doesn't work anymore, you just throw it in the river.
Okay. So they took out tens of thousands of bikes from that river, but they still couldn't clean it up to a point where human beings should be in there.
It's a sad state of affairs when you think about it. When I really don't want my children playing in the Chattahoochee River, and I don't know, like, to me, my dad lives on a lake.
Let me give you an example. My dad lives on a lake.
The lake is controlled by Duke Energy. It's controlled by the dam, and Duke Energy is in charge of that dam.
Therefore, Duke Energy is responsible for the cleanliness of that lake. That's their job.
They made the lake. It's for their private uses to make money.
It is their responsibility to make sure that that lake stays in some kind of good shape. Well, the lake has this weird film on top of it, like this weird frilly foamy film that kind of goes all over the place.
It's dark in nature, in color. It looks like floating poop.
If I'm just being honest to you, it just looks like, it just looks like a pile of shit is what it looks like floating in places, not everywhere. And I wonder what that is.
And while my dad tries to convince me that it's just the natural comings and goings of mother nature, I think it looks like the natural comings and goings of a lot of drunk rednecks, in my opinion. But that makes me nervous when I send my children out to go swimming in there.
You talked about that, I remember. Yes.
It does. Doesn't somebody get sick last summer? Many people have been sick coming out of my dad's house.
There's lots of different reasons, I think, for that sickness. But it does seem to be true that there's a better chance than not someone's going to come home.
It's not helping. It's not helping, I don't think.
I actually saw a person take a poop in that lake one time. You did? Yeah, I'm not going to get into all the details, but there was an incident where someone had to go and they just let it rip right off the side of a dock.
And I was like, oh, kids, kids. Roll them up.
Roll them up. Big Ben, Parliament, let's go.
Come on, out, out. Yeah, we took the kids out for the rest of the day and then had to leave early the next day because you don't know where that poop is floating.
And I'm not naive enough to believe that there's not poop in most of our waterways. That's probably how it works.
That's how it's worked for eons and decades, you know, since humans have been around, since animals have been around. And animals.
Yeah, animals poop in that water all the time, too. All the bass poop.
Listen, I can get over that. The bass poop.
That's what I worry about, is the bass poop. Bass ass.
That's what I'm worried about. When I'm going down that Chattahoochee River, I think about bass ass.
Because those bass, they just open their mouth. They're bottom feeders.
They suck in whatever comes. That means if a human poop is floating down the river, they just open up their mouth and they eat.
They're the cleaners. Yeah, they're the cleaners.
But then what? But everything poops. You know what I'm saying? So if it goes in one end, it's got to come out the other.
I'm a little nervous about this. I'm just a little nervous.
I don't think anybody should, I don't think anybody that doesn't have a great immune system should be running down that Chattahoochee on a raft, my personal opinion. And I will argue that with my wife until my kids are long out of this house, that no, we shouldn't go shoot the hooch.
And then they're going to go do it when they're a teenager. Of course they are.
They're going to go do it. Yeah, it's a thing.
They're going to go, I'm going to say, wear a face condom. Watch out for the bass ass.
Watch out for bass ass, kids. We never know what they're sucking in or throwing out.
Do you, if you, when you shot the hooch, why would you not return to it? It was awful. Like you said, you know, the kid kind of set us off and said go for it.
And we had rented like this big, huge one. The eight person, the ten person.
Yes. And then we had also, we were over ambitious thinking we were going to like go off and do our own little.
So we had like three little ones or something too. Two or three of the little ones.
Wow. You had a whole flotilla.
So it took us forever to go into the point of finally, I mean, it was like dusk and we were like, where is the end of this? Yes. It had been like eight hours, nine hours.
We had to call the company. They had to come and tow us back to the place.
No shit. Yes.
Yeah. That was my challenge every time I did it.
I'm done. So they would say to you, like, you know, and listen, these are companies that have been around for a long time, the reputable places.
I'm not trying to knock their business model, but, you know, the shoot and the hooch or the chat, whatever the name of the company is. But every spring they open up and there is a landing here and there's a landing there and there's a landing two miles.
We went to like the very furthest landing up. Oh, okay.
So you're like up in North Georgia somewhere. Yeah.
Okay. So, and what they tell you is they give you a piece of paper and it says about two hours to get to landing A, about two hours to get to landing B, and about an additional two hours to get to landing C.
So your call, you do whatever you want to do. And when you get there, we have a bus that'll take you back to your car with the raft.
So you rent the raft, but these are kids. They're literally children, you know, 16, 17 years old that are filling these rafts.
Summer jobs. Summer jobs.
And they push you off and you have no, there's no fucking clue about like, okay, about two hours. But that largely depends on how fast the water is going, how much water is in the river, whether or not the dam has released water over the last couple of days.
There's like a lot of X factors that go into it. And that doesn't include the rapids, the rocks, the shallow water, the pee breaks, all the different stuff that you have to do.
And there's parts of the river where you can stand. And there's parts of the river that are way deep and you get yourself in real trouble out there drinking all day long in the hot sun, trying to guesstimate exactly when A, B, or C is coming up.
That's right. If you're lucky, you'll see ahead of time that people are getting off, right? They're like, okay, there's one of the landings.
That's if you're lucky and if you're paying attention, but I've never been accused of being attentive about anything to anybody. So for me, almost every time I went out there, we ended up floating too far and we're another two hours in.
You're right. It always became like a way too long adventure.
Two hours, I can handle. But now imagine you brought an 18-pack amongst three people.
You're two hours two hours in you miss the exit there's no way to turn back you're not gonna you're not gonna hand paddle upstream on a flowing river that's pretty big actually you know half a mile wide at some places so you're not gonna you're not gonna get very far so you miss that first exit it's not like a car where you get off at the next exit and turn around. Now you got to make sure you hit the second one.
And I remember one time we also missed the second one. And now we were six hours in.
It was almost dark. Like it was basically dark and we were lucky, lucky only because now we were super attentive for two hours.
No water, no beer, no food, no fun. Yes, I'm done.
I'm done. But now we're in for another two hours.
Here we go. Because you can't just like pull off on the side.
Like it's a river with a bunch of trees and bushes. You can't just yank your and then hope that someone finds you and comes and picks you up.
You never know where you are. Here's my point.
Don't shoot the hooch. If I'm going to tell you to do something, I'd rather you go to the dysentery-filled Whitewater Rapids theme park here in Georgia, where at least it smells like chlorine.
You know there's bleach in the water. Then go into the Chattahoochee River.
No knock on all the wonderful people who are trying to keep it clean, but I'm not sure it is. I like going on a walk.
Yeah, take a walk by the river. On the banks of the, yeah.
Sure. Don't get your feet anywhere near the water, but sure.
It's like that New Orleans soup. Is that what they call it? New Orleans stew, New Orleans whatever, the water that collects in the streets.
Some guy was making a video of it. He's like, you see that? He had like in that New Orleans twang.
He's like, you see that? That's New Orleans stew. It had like this film on top of it.
And there was like rats eating at it. And I was like, oh, and he's like, he was, he's doing God's work because he explained that every time he sees a tourist in sandals, he alerts them that they should go immediately back to wherever it is they're staying, the hotel, and change their shoes or buy a pair of closed-toed shoes because you do not want to have open-toed shoes walking down Bourbon Street or any of those places.
All that water that sits on those sidewalks is not fresh rainwater. That's not what it is.
Water and booze. Water, booze, pee, poop, puke.
Yeah. I mean, honestly, Vegas and New Orleans, keep your shoes on.
That's all I got to say. Even though Vegas does a good job of keeping itself clean, you still never know what's on top of there.
And that is much like that Chattahoochee water. You would never drink that.
Most people in Atlanta don't even drink the tap water. That's like a no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You don't drink the tap water. Why? Because it comes from the Chattahoochee River, which for years,

let me just give you an example. For years, the city of Atlanta would rather pay an enormous fine to the United States government than clean up the raw sewage that it was just pouring into the Chattahoochee River.
Only, only when the federal government decided to withhold funds for the 96 Olympics did the city of Atlanta get in motion and start fixing their sewer problem only. And still to this day, to this day, you can drive in some parts of downtown Atlanta and they are still fixing the sewer system in the city of Atlanta.
Still to this day, you hear about raw sewage releases because too much rain or rainwater or whatever. So don't shoot the hooch.
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Yeah, we're all sharing horror stories from the hooch or related waters. It's just not clean.
I mean, it is a major city. It used to be an industrial city.
And so I get it. You know, there's years and years of just shit in that place.
But, you know, Tina was just sharing that one of her friends had to get two layers of stitches because the nurse was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't go in that water.
What are you thinking? Yeah, it's crazy. And it's dangerous.
Anyway, it's local politics. All politics is local, if you don't mind.
But let's talk about non-local politics. Let's talk about Oscars.
The Oscar season is coming up, and there is already a ton of drama. Let's talk about a non-Oscar-related film first.
And that is that damn whatever, this is us story with Blake Lively and that Baldoni guy. It stops with us.
It starts with us? No, it's... Oh, it stops with us? Oh, I thought it starts with us.
Apparently it starts with us because those two yahoos are just throwing shit back and forth. They are destroying their careers.
Someone needs to get a hold of both of those human beings and put them in a room together

and say, you both did something wrong. Shut the fuck up before you never work in Hollywood again.
I mean, Blake Lively is getting dragged through the mud, but Justin Beldoni. It ends with us.
Oh, it ends with us. Yeah, sorry.
Stops with us. Starts with us.
It's kind of the same thing. Begins with us.
It ends with us. Who cares? But yeah, it's pretty crazy, the drama with that.
Listen, I made the mistake of following that Perez Hilton on Instagram.

I'm soon going unfollow him but he has been talking about this non-stop for weeks every time something else drops he comes they're in court now right they're throwing lawsuits back and forth each other and justin valdoni has now put a website together called uh about the lawsuit.com or something you can go google it i don't know that that's but it's something about the lawsuit he's put a website together where he is literally sending out every text message every communication every email that happened between him and blake live even the blake lively even the ones that don't make him look particularly good he's still sending them out there saying, I'm going to show you everything that happened during this movie piece by piece so you understand that it's not the way that Blake Lively's people are spinning it. And this goes super deep.
And let me share just for a minute, if you don't mind. Drama drop.
Drama drop. Let's get into the Blake Lively situation.
Not that I know enough about it to be dangerous, but I'm going to make up the parts I don't know. Just so you're forewarned.
Story time with Brian. Story time with Brian.
Bring. Blake Lively got the rights to make this movie after she read the book.
She went and petitioned the author for the rights to the movie. Many, many people read the book.
Apparently, it was a hot bestseller. It's about domestic violence and the relationship getting in or out of domestic violence.
I don't know the story because I haven't seen the movie, nor have I read the book, just to be clear about that, but that has never stopped me from pretending like I know something. Weigh in.
I'm weighing in regardless of being completely misinformed I'm weighing in

I'm yet another

idiot on the internet

I'm weighing in. Regardless of being completely misinformed, I'm weighing in.
I'm yet another idiot on the internet just saying shit to say shit. Hey, listen, I got a lot of time to fill on this show.
Do you want to hear it or not? Okay. All right.
Do you tune in for the facts or do you tune in for my misinformation in the voice of Bright? Of course you do. All right, here we go.
Blake Lively makes this movie. She justin baldoni to do the directing or maybe he's maybe the production company does i don't know how he gets involved but justin baldoni who cares that's not important thanks justin baldoni and justin baldoni is also going to star in the movie so he's starring and he's directing at some point during this film things start getting there starts to be a little friction between the two stars who have a lot of lovemaking scenes, a lot of intimacy scenes, and some friction starts and Blake apparently does not like the direction that Justin is taking the movie, nor does she like the way that the editor is cutting the movie under Justin's direction.
So Blake calls a meeting with who? The most important people in the world. Travis Kelsey, Taylor Swift, and Blake Lively, and the other guy that she's married to.
Ryan Reynolds? Ryan Reynolds. So they all get in a room and they kind of beat up Justin.
And they say, listen, these particular scenes shouldn't go like this. That needs to go like that.
We need to have this cut of the movie. We need to have that cut of the movie, which rubs Justin the wrong way.
But he quickly realizes that going up against Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Swift, and Blake Lively in an argument about editorial direction is probably not the best idea. So he quickly apologizes, sending like a eight minute voice note.
Now I listened to that eight minute voice note. He talks about a lot of stuff during that voice note, but basically what he's doing is he's groveling.
He's saying, yeah, you're right. I wish I had friends like yours.
They're so good to you. They got your back.
I see the error of my ways. La-di-da-di-da-di-doo.
Okay? So Justin capitulates to Taylor and Ryan and Blake's suggestions. But that doesn't satisfy Blake.
Because Blake believes that Justin is treating her poorly on the set and off the set. So Blake is now saying that Justin was sexually harassing her, not staying within the intimacy coach lane, doing gross things, walked in on her breastfeeding and then talked about her boobs or whatever.
If any of that is true, it's creepy at best, harassment at worst. But it's hard to tell because it's all he said, she said.
If you piece all the stuff that Justin is putting out there, some of it might make sense that he was bordering on a little bit inappropriate. Is it harassment? I don't know.
I guess that's up to the judge to decide at the end of the day. But now, Justin, Blake comes out and puts a big to-do about this,

and she didn't like the last cut of the movie,

and he sexually harassed her, and all this stuff went wrong,

and so she sues him.

That's what you do in America.

You sue!

And so Justin says, wait, wait, wait.

That's not how it went down.

Let me show you how it went down.

Counter-suit.

Yes.

And so now they're both suing each other for hundreds of millions of dollars

Thank you. And so Justin says, wait, wait, wait.
That's not how it went down. Let me show you how it went down.
Counter suit. And so now they're both suing each other for hundreds of millions of dollars in court.
They're both throwing dirt all over the place. Blake with her big high-priced PR people.
Justin just trying to fight the good fight. I'm sure he has nowhere close to the same PR people, but they're trying to fight each other's fight.
But at the end of the day, they are both destroying each other's careers.

Justin has now been fired from

his next director job.

Dropped by his

representative or whoever, his agent.

Dropped by his rep. Blake is

getting dragged through the mud. Everything she

ever said is getting scrutinized

and questioned. Perez

Hilton calls her a B-list celebrity at best uh I don't know if that's necessarily true but both of them are just absolutely getting destroyed and they will not have careers after this because no one's going to want to work with them people are going to be afraid that Blake all she's going to want to do is take over the movie and going to pressure have a pressure campaign if she doesn't like something. Justin's

known as a creep who sexually harasses

and reveals all the secrets of the world

afterwards. They're both killing each other.

If I'm either of these people's

management, I am saying, you

have got to sit down with this person

and figure out a way

to shut the fuck up

before you never work in this town

again. Now, Blake

has made some money, and Ryan Reynolds ain't

hurting, so maybe they feel like they're going to fight to make sure that her name is cleared. And Justin is trying to make a living in Hollywood, so maybe he feels like, I got to reveal it all so that everybody thinks.
But I'm just, like, blown away at how these two egos are absolutely going at each other with no regard for the consequences when we're all watching going, what a bunch of morons. What are you doing? Don't you think? Yeah, I haven't really paid attention that much to it.
I've seen the headlines. I'm not subscribed to Perez.
If there is one person in this world that is less informed than i am it is chrissy well i remember there was a big to do when it first came out because blake lively wasn't uh showing up at the press tours there's something about the press tour yeah there was a lot to do with that and she wasn't denouncing domestic violence enough or something she was making it all about her and talking about the jeans about the press tour to watch the movie but then i just didn't and so now i'm now maybe i should just watch the movie but i kind of don't want to watch the movie i don't know astrid watched it a couple times she did she said it was good she liked it and um and i think i walked in on her crying at one point on it watching that movie yeah i don't cry yeah i'm not interested in all that domestic violence i i just abhor it i think it's gross and nasty um but i gotta be in the right mood to see a story like that like i have to not be full of rage which is hard for me right now at my age and my profession yeah in my circumstances you know no money many children 50 shows a day you know i'm just upset about everything. Yeah.
I'm irritated, but I'm in a constant state of irritation, but I still think even in my constant state of irritation, I just think that I would see through the noise. I would try to make amends in some way, shape or form.
If I did wrong, it seems It's way out of control. And now people are past the point.
Now people are way past the point. They're just like, nope, I've got to prove myself right.
Everything Blake Lively ever said is now being rehashed, and everybody hates her. Not everybody, but people dislike her, right? They think that she's kind of a snotty human being.
When she was doing press for that movie, a couple of questions were asked about domestic violence, and she was like, that's not what the movie is all, you know, kind of like, you know, look at my jeans. Don't look at my domestic violence, look at my jeans kind of thing.
Maybe she was just not jazzed with the questions or the interviewer. I don't know.
Who knows what's in Blake Lively's head? But they both have the world at their disposal. They both have the world at their fingertips.
It was one of the best, like, it was one of the most popular movies of 2024. Regardless of whose cut got out there, it doesn't matter.
You're part of a project that did really well, right? Now, if you were actually sexually harassed, I can understand fighting to make sure that doesn't happen again, and that people see who Justin Baldoni is so that they don't get

in a similar situation with him. But now there's so much noise, it's hard to know what's true or

not. There seems to be no truth.
Everybody's just giving their version of the story. Welcome to the

age of 2025 when truth doesn't matter. It's just about who talks the loudest.
Done with it. Done

with it. All right.
Let's move on to the oscar contenders yes amelia perez pertez permez yeah speaking of perez amelia perez is it amelia perez is that it the movie yeah amelia perez that's another controversial one very controversial and i didn't know until i started digging in on the drama drops around amelia perez this is a story like many other hollywood stories it's your typical uh drug lord gets a sex change to avoid uh any kind of responsibility for all his heinous actions and then misses his family and so he becomes a woman to get back with him love story. We all know it.
We've all seen it. It's another retelling.
Been around for the ages. Another retelling of that story.
But in inexplicable fashion, form and fashion, it is a musical. Now, I took the time to go watch some of the clips of this out there.
And I have a hard time understanding how this is a best picture contender i don't knock the performances i don't knock the um sensitivity or insensitivity with which they uh handled uh the trans issues in that that's for that's for someone who has a dog in that fight to really bet out right but they at at least used a trans actress to portray the drug lord who got a sex change operation so that he could go back out into the public. It's actually an interesting story.
It is, yeah. But why it's a musical and why they have an actual, an entire five minutes dedicated to a song about vagioplasty, I have no idea.
Like, it's just a little weird. It's a little bit of a strange story.
And many critics out there are curious as to how this became an Oscar contender because they named it in one of the weirdest, oddest, worst movies of the year. This is the Oscars, like every other award out there, are bought and paid for.
It's just a fact. If you have any other illusion, let me put that illusion to rest.
It is bought and paid for. They lobby the voters to make sure that they get votes.
And they do that in a lot of different ways. If you open up any trade rag, like the Hollywood Reporter, if you go to LA, they have billboards sometimes for your consideration, right? Which is a great Christopher Guest movie, by the way.
It is a great Christopher Guest movie. I started watching it a few weeks ago, and I was like, this is such a great movie.
I just love that movie. I think it's wonderful.
But this is how the Grammys happen. This is how the Oscars happen.
This is how the Golden Globes happen. The foreign press, all of them.

They all happen in the same manner.

You have to have a PR machine that's making sure you get in front of the voters so that you can get nominated.

And then once you get nominated, if you get nominated, then you really have to, then the heat has to come on.

You have to really try and win the affection of the people who are voting for this.

The Actors Guild, Screen Actors Guild, or whatever it is so amelia perez is kind of an outlier in the sense that many critics did not think this movie was that great but for some reason it got voted in okay let's assume that there's a lot of people out there in the voting community that did like this movie don't know haven. Haven't seen it.
Again, I have no information. I'm just speculating.
But what's crazy is now the woman who played Amelia Perez in this movie cannot go and be a part of the Oscar scene. She cannot lobby.
She cannot be a part of the Oscar scene because she has lost it a little bit. And people have dug up old tweets that they say were racist and homophobic and all this other stuff.
I read the tweets. I think some people are being a little bit sensitive.
I don't think she was being super offensive. But I get it.
Everything is a reason to get upset if you're looking for a reason to get upset, right?

And that's the way that it is.

But now she has to disconnect herself

from the PR machine and the fun

and all that other stuff

because of these things that were said

in the hopes that they can soften the landing

a little bit on this bad press

and be in contention for Amelia Perez.

Can we all just say that Wicked was the best movie of the year and get on with life is it nominated for an oscar i think it is i think it is uh wicked oscars uh astinees. I watched one of the nominees the other night.

Nora?

I think that's the name of it.

Nora?

Nora.

Nora.

Look at the best picture ones.

Okay.

Amelia Perez.

A Complete Unknown.

Conclave.

Conclave was good.

I want to see Conclave.

It's really good.

Really bad.

Nickel Boys.

I do want to see that also.

I'm Still Here.

The Substance. Dune Part 2.
Also a fucking fantastic movie. Wicked.
Onora. And The Brutalist.
Wow, that's a lot. Didn't they use a lot? And now they have 10? Yes.
Okay, interesting. I do think I do remember that happening at one point.
Like they changed up the... Yeah, they upped it.
So Onora is the one about the sex worker who marries the Russian oligarch son? It was good. You liked it? I enjoyed it, yeah.
Now, I don't want you to tell me the plot because I want to watch this movie, but I want you to give me the... I want you to agree or disagree with this statement.
Okay. I saw someone on Instagram that said, this was the best movie of the year.
It had me laughing for the first hour and 30 minutes and crying for the last 15. i mean i can see where that comes into play that's all i need to know thank you thank you i wasn't crying you weren't crying no she has no feelings folks can't you tell she's like frankie valley she just stands where it's a sad situation okay it's a sad situation but it is it is funny and it's very um it's different.
And it was good. Fernanda Torres for I'm Still Here, Best Actress.
Demi Moore for The Substance. Carla Gascon, who's Amelia Perez.
That's the woman who is apparently causing trouble. I don't know how.
Cynthia Erivo for Wicked. And Mickey Madsen for Anora.
Demi Moore was great too. The Substance is a great movie.
We still haven't watched that. We still gotta watch that.
It's good. Is that on Hulu? No.
I had to subscribe to something on Amazon just to get it. I can't do any more subscriptions.
I know. I had to cancel the subscription after I did it.
What'd you do? A free trial? Yeah.-trialed it. Yeah, I can't do free trials anymore after it's mad at me because I keep not remembering.
I have to visit my calendar. Yeah, I do that too, but I still don't remember.
You still forget. Yeah.
Best Actor, Ralph Fiennes for Conclave. I think he's such a great actor.
He is so great. Sebastian Stan for The Apprentice playing Donald Trump in The Apprentice.
That's another movie I want to see. Timothy Shalalalame for A Complete Unknown.
He was fantastic in that movie. Have you seen that movie? I haven't.
I want to see that too. Coleman Domingo for Sing Sing.
Don't even know what that is. Sorry.
And Adrian Brody for The Brutalist. He won the Golden Globe.
I want to see The Brutalist too. And every time I think about watching it, I know it's like three and a half hours.
Yeah, it's a long movie. It took them like 15 years to make that movie.
Yeah, it did. I saw that.
Best international film. Who cares? Sorry.
Best supporting actress Zoe Saldana for Emilia Perez, Felicity Jones for The Brutalist, Monica Barbaro for a complete unknown ariana grande for wicked and

isabella rosalini for conclave what a beautiful name i love her yeah um she's really good animated feature flow which won the golden globe which i don't even know what that is i don't know any of the animated ones inside out 2 which i heard was fantastic now available on disney plus Just giving a shout out.

Wild Robot.

Wallace and Gromit.

Wallace and Gromit. Wallace and Gromit.
Wallace and Gromit? Are we doing Wallace and Gromit? Take it easy. Okay.
All right. I know there's a bunch of Wallace and Gromit fans out there.
I never got into it. You like it? Loved it.
Big fan. Yeah, we watched all of it in our household.
It's actually in my list to watch, and I'm grown, and so are my kids. But it was just such a household favorite when mine were young.
I will be watching it. I know.
It's that British, dry, slapstick kind of- You like British. I know.
I don't know. You would love it.
I mean, it's dry, and a lot of the humor goes over the kids' heads. I think it's why it stood the test of time.
It's because it also appeals to adults. I'll stick with

Bluey. Maybe I'll watch it.

I don't know. Okay.
Best Supporting Actor

Guy Pearce for The Brutalist.

I'm going to

slaughter this name.

Yuri Borisov

for Honora. Edward Norton

A Complete Unknown. Kieran Culkin

for A Real Pain.

And Jeremy Strong for The Apprentice.

I wish I had watched more of these movies.

I really do.

There's still time.

Yeah, there is still time.

But do I have the time is the question.

I know there is still time.

This might be our farewell show.

I don't know.

Who knows?

We showed up for one more at least, right?

Yeah.

Best Director, The Substance, A Complete Unknown,

Onora, Emilia Perez, and The Brutalist.

Well,

Thank you. know who knows we showed up for one more at least right yeah best director the substance a complete unknown honora amelia perez and the brutalist well listen i don't know i haven't seen amelia perez but you know i read enough about it uh and i read enough like for every two good reviews there must have been eight not good reviews yeah so it did surprise me also but you, reviews are like assholes.
Everyone's, you know. Exactly.
I don't always go off the reviews. Opinions are like assholes.
Everyone's got one and they all stink. And that's all I got to say about that.
Who's your favorite Oscar contender out there in the audience? Give us a call and let us know. And you might be on the next episode of the Commercial Break, 212-433-3TCB.
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Yes, thank you, Tina. Yes.
And we do me a favor and hit those cameras when you get a chance. Thanks so much.
You're the bestest in the Westest. What's that? I already did it.
Oh, you already did you already did it. Oh my gosh.
I'm not even paying any attention here at the studio, but there's nothing new there. Tina helping us today.
Thank you very much, Tina. We love you.
We appreciate it. That's the voice you're hearing in the background.
This will have changed by the time this episode comes out, but I want to say that there are a lot of dumb things

that I've heard in the last 10, 15 days

out of the new administration.

But one of the dumbest things that I've heard

is let's turn Gaza into the Riviera of the Middle East.

Oh, I know. I saw that.

That's unbelievable.

We're going to take over Palestine?

Just occupy it?

Just take it over and build golf courses?

Yeah.

You got to be kidding me.

I don't know.

What are we thinking? I saw that last night. What are what are we thinking yeah i think he's trolling us that's my opinion i think it's just he's trolling us while other stuff goes on we're looking look over here so you don't look over here yeah i know i just gotta say that's i know that's a bad idea if we really want our chickens to come home and roost take over a population of what is there 20 million people that live in Gaza or some shit like that? A lot of people that lived in Gaza.
And I don't think it's 20 million people, but either or. It's a lot of people.
That's their home. Like, you're just going to take it over and build golf courses? Come on.
Really? Honestly. Go to the Caribbean like everybody else does.
Go to the Caribbean. Speaking of the Caribbean, I saw a video about a cruise ship um guy fieri taking his family oh no tell me about this what is this the guy fieri kristen texted me christy texted me the other day and she says you want a good laugh watch guy fieri's ultimate cruise takeover what is that i guess it's that i didn't end up watching it but you know our history with guy fieri oh god guy what concert was he at oh he was at the rage against the machine concert with that fucking hairdo with that visor we talked about that seasons ago so anyways i thought it would be i'm here at lucy lou's cafe and they're building a burger you've never seen before I guess his son graduated from high school, so he decides to take the family and a lot of their friends and family on this cruise.
Yes. So I watched a little bit of it, and it's him kind of, you know, going into the—they're all doing their adventurous stuff.
And I think it's a big commercial for Carnival. Of course it is.
And then all the food that's on board's on board okay gotcha yeah all right i'm here at the food network headquarters and i'm convincing them to spend one million dollars on my family vacation you're listening to driving divers and dives or whatever the fuck you call it triple d is on the way now far be it from me to make fun of the triple d no it's no person in the history of living on this earth because it's now been on for like 15 years it's been on for the longest i remember when he was part of a competition next greatest food network star the next food network star and he won that and that's how he got that show diners drive-ins and dives And that show became a runaway hit with people that are hungover. That's what that show is.
People trying to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon. That's so true.
That's whenever I've watched it. Golf and Triple D.
Two of my favorite things to fall asleep to. So far be it for me to make fun of the Triple D, because I get it.
It is mindless entertainment. Mindless.
And when I say mindless, literally your brain turns off. You could do surgery while watching that show.
That's how mindless it is. You don't need to know anything.
He's going to say, whabam, yeah, put the onions in. He's going to tell the people.
The part that bothers me about Triple D is that he thinks he's so good at being a chef that no matter what someone is cooking he knows what's coming next before they do then you're gonna throw a little cumin in there how'd you know that cumin then you're gonna throw the ground beef in there ground beef cook it at 350 for four hours it's like dude let them talk that's why they're there but i will say this good for him because apparently when you when triple d shows up to your place you better be ready because your business is going to go fucking wild he does a lot with charity too so i mean i'm i like guy listen i just think he's funny and after we did this show people were writing in the reviews. They were like, leave Guy alone.

Leave Guy alone.

He could go to a concert. I know.
We got so much shit about making fun of Guy at the Rage Against the Machine concert. But I just want you to think about that just for one second.
Think about Guy Fieri at the Rage Against the Machine concert. when he's saying when when they're saying, though some of those who want forces are the same that ride horses, he might or might not be talking about the executives at Food Network and Guy Fieri.
Okay? I'm just saying. The revolution will not be televised? Not with Guy Fieri, it won't.
I don't hate the guy. As a matter of fact, I like the fact that he does all the charity.
And I do appreciate all the nap time he's given me over the years. Not anymore.
I have children. But I do appreciate the fact that he didn't wake me up.
At least he didn't wake me up. I can't watch, there's a lot of shows I can't watch because my brain is tuned in while I'm sleeping.
And if I hear something interesting, I wake up. Not with God.
I can be assured nothing interesting is going to happen. And that Food Network has gone all in on Triple D.
It is on 24 hours a day, it seems like. It appears, apparently.
I haven't turned to that channel in a while. You know how at least the local Fox station here turned into the Judge Judy channel at one point? And then Lifetime is the Dr.
Phil channel. I mean, MTV is the Teen Mom channel.
It's just TLC is the 90 Day Fiance channel. When they find something that works, they will beat you over the head with it.
24 hours a day. And that's Guy.
So I say all this to say that Guy has the best fucking luck in the world he is literally like uh you know a nobody chef shows up wins the food network competition becomes a very famous person in short order doing that triple d now he hosts you know guys grocery games guys this guys that i'm guys special tour guys an adventure guys with his kids guys, guys, whatever. Everything that he does is televised and is getting paid for by the fucking Food Network.
Yeah. Why can't we have that kind of luck? I can go to local dives.
Brian's dives. I mean, we should technically be sponsored by TLC.
A triple B. Brian's Boobs and Bars.
I'll be happy to take you to every strip club this side of the Mississippi. I'll show you which ones are good or which ones are not.
Left tit coming out. All right.
There it is. Left hand's next.
Okay. Here we go.
Listen, this is not a particularly difficult job, but there is something that guy does. There is some X factor about guy.
His hair. It's that visor.
It's the visor oh now i want to watch it yeah now i'm interested in watching your interest has been piqued now i want to watch it what was i talking about before i totally forgot what what where i went off with this i was gonna say something and then you told oh the cruise ship oh cruise okay so world's worst cruise line is apparently the Margaritaville Cruise Line. Oh, no.
There is a cruise line, or a cruise ship, I should say, called the Margaritaville Cruise Ship. They just slapped Margaritaville on everything.
They do. He's dead.
And what can we do now? I mean, it's just a corporation that's going to sell his name to anything. I think the Margaritaville, like the resorts and the housing, like the retirement places, I think that Margaritaville, the company is somewhat involved in the management of those.
Well, you went. I went to the Margaritaville resort.
Yep. And we were just talking about this the other day.
Listen, is this even in my top 30 places I have ever stayed, resorts that I have ever stayed? No. No, it was a quick hit.
It was a quick hit. You had a quick getaway.
Yeah, we went Thursday. We came back on Sunday.
We went right as school had started for most kids, but not our kids yet. So it was very quiet.
We went to Panama City. I told the story.
The place was brand new. It had just opened a couple of months earlier, so it was not very busy.
And I will tell you something. That Margaritaville didn't impress me much.
It was kind of like a neighborhood, essentially, with a really cool pool. You still had to walk a football field to get to the actual beach.
And the beach was beautiful, but it was not on the beach unless you rented one of their huge houses for like you know ten thousand dollars a week or whatever but those kids my kids still talk about that place on a weekly basis and they want to go back every time right oh by the way i have news about the great wolf lodge one of their team members let's it that way. I don't want to give away any identifying information.
One of their team members is coming on the show to tell us all the gory details about Great Wolf Lodge. Oh, I can't wait.
Next week, we're going to have a phone call. I can't wait for that.
We've got to disguise the name and do some things to make sure that they don't lose their job. But they have agreed to come on air and tell us some stories, not about the one here in Atlanta, but on another location around the country.
And I actually can't wait because they texted some stories to me and I was like, oh, you got to come on and tell some of these stories. So they'll be on next week.
We're doing an expose on Great Wolf Lodge and I'm never going to be invited back. It's yet another place I cannot go.
But anyway, that Margaritaville cruise, that's exactly what happened. They slapped the name.
They bought the rights, essentially, to put the Margaritaville on there. But it's been called the worst cruise ship in America by many travel critics.
That's got to be saying something. It really does.
It's a tiny boat, and it is really disgusting. Like, it's old old it's not renovated well the rooms are like

motel six has better rooms than these rooms and most of them do not have balconies they're all

like you know porthole windows which i can't go on a cruise ship unless you give me a balcony

if i don't have a way to get some fresh air or jump off the boat in case of emergency i don't

have any interest in it but this margaritaville is taking it to a new low the food is sickening

Thank you. the boat in case of emergency, I don't have any interest in it.
But this Margaritaville is taking it to a new low. The food is sickening, the activities are zero, and the boat is in bad, bad shape.
So it got me- Who regulates that stuff? The National Cruise Ship Place of America. Elon Musk.
doge doge doge does

ah good old The National Cruise Ship Place of America. Elon Musk.
Doge. Cutting costs.
Doge. Doge does.
Good old Doge. Anyone else find it funny that Doge is the name of the organization that Elon— Wasn't he like rah-rah-sis-boom-bah about the Doge coin at one point? Okay, just checking to make sure I got my math right there.
Yeah, Elon Musk is apparently in charge of the cruise ships. But it got me thinking, and it got me thinking seriously about maybe, maybe taking some equipment.
By the way, the cruise ship, the room rates, I looked for like a three-day Caribbean cruise, Caribbean cruise, is like $180 a person. We can bring some of our own supplies, right? You know me and my view on cruises, and I can't believe this is your pitch.
This is my pitch to you. From my very first cruise.
And I'm doing it on air so that you feel pressured to do this. We'll find a way to get a balcony room.
We'll find a way to get on there. But I think we must do the commercial break from a place that is worthy of the commercial break.
The Margaritaville cruise ship. If you work for the Margaritaville Cruise Line, if you know of anybody that works for the Margarita Cruise Line, or you just want to sponsor us going on the Margarita Cruise Line, I know if I can get it it for free, Chrissy might entertain the idea.
Listen, it will be fun. We'll have a great time, Chrissy.
I promise. There won't...
The last time we talked about cruises, we talked about going on a Ritz cruise. Right.
But no one called us. Okay.
No one reached out about the Ritz cruise. So we've now just...
The pendulum swung completely. Wellung completely.
I figured, well, let's lower the bar all the way to the bottom, and then maybe we can jump above it. You know what I'm saying? I don't know.
I just saw this guy doing this review video. This was last night, or night before last.
I saw this guy doing a review video, and I thought, wouldn't it be funny to do a podcast from the cruise ship, report on what we see and what we do, and then get some feedback from the other people that are on the cruise ship.

By the way, the cruise ship, mostly empty.

There wasn't a whole lot of people there.

We could have the cruise ship to ourselves.

I need to look into this.

Yeah, okay, look into it.

But just know two things before you get into this.

We can bring disinfectant and our own food. That's right.
We can sneak our own food onto the cruise ship. It can't be that bad.
We'll be together. We'll be together.
We can bring Jeff and Astrid. Doesn't Jeff have some extra time to go on a Margarita cruise ship? And so does Astrid.
Yeah. This is a step...
Would you bring your kids on this cruise? Fuck no. Okay, wow.
no! Fuck no. Fuck no.
Fuck no. Well, generally, I don't think Margaritaville cruise ships, well, I mean, I did bring them to the resort, but I guess they had a water slide, so what else do you want? Alright, do you want to see Chrissy and I go to the Margaritaville cruise ship? Sponsor it.
Tell us you know somebody over there.

Get us some free tickets.

Or just stay tuned and we'll figure out a way to do it ourselves.

Well, I guess that's all I got for today.

From the Ritz.

From the Ritz.

From the top top to the low low.

Down to the bottom of the ship.

Down to the bottom of the ship.

Down to the bottom of the ship is more like. That's what I said.
Down to the bottom of the ship. Yeah, listen.
I think this would be fun. I think this would be fun.
I think we would have a good time. I think you and I would have a good time anywhere we go.
Well, we could do that. But if we went...
You know what my real vision was? Let's do so. Go on the Margaritaville cruise ship.
And because it's so dirt cheap, invite some of our listeners to come like an unofficial commercial break cruise. We don't tell the cruise line.
Right. We don't put any kind of organization.
You come at your own risk, essentially. You pay for it.
Don't bother us. But we'll be there.
And then we can all have some fun together. And we'll report back on what we'll do.
We'll do a show each day and we'll report back. It's three days long.
What could happen? Why? Why don't we were friends? What could happen? What's going to happen? We could get definitely ill. Yeah.
I just want to know who the captain is. I just want to make sure the captain has all his eyes and legs.
That's all I care about. I mean, you know.
If we're just going to the Caribbean, I feel like we could swim if something happened. If something bad happened, we could be in the water for a couple of days.
It's warm water. I'll look into it.
Okay, look into it. Let me know.
I feel like this is the kind of thing that the commercial break should do every once in a while. It's better than going to the gathering of the Juggalos.
That was my next idea. But I don't know that my body can take too many more drugs.
So I think I got to put that idea away for a little while. Yeah.
I just had surgery to remove a tumor. I don't think I should fill it full of cocaine and Faygo.
Yeah, no. All right.
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Leave us a positive review. Leave us a negative review.
Whatever. Do whatever.
You know, buy us tickets to the Margaritaville cruise ship. We'd love it.
We'd love you forever. Text us.
212-433-3TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas.
We take them all right there. TCBpodcast.com.
All the audio, all the video right there from one location and your free sticker. Also, at the Commercial Break on Instagram and YouTube.com.
Slash the Commercial Break for all the episodes on video. All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.
I think so. I'll tell you that I love you.
And I love you. Best to you.
Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say,

we do say, and we must say,

goodbye.

Business taxes.

We're stressing about all the time

and all the money you

spent on your taxes.

This is

my bill? Only available with TurboTax Live full service. I take a dick and keep on licking.