Fare Thee Well TCB!

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored by Jack Archer. Do you hate shopping for pants? You're not alone.
Jack Archer's Jet Setter tech pants are basically the answer to every guy's closet struggles.

Speaker 1 With their customizable fit, wrinkle-free fabric sourced from Japan, and all-day comfort, these pants can take you from work to the weekend without missing a beat.

Speaker 1 Seriously, these might be the only pants you'll ever need. Style them with the Jet Setter tee, legacy button-down shirt, or the buttery legacy polo sweater.

Speaker 1 And you've got timeless staples to meet your everyday wardrobe needs. Jack Archer is just better for a limited time.
Get 15% off using the code getjack at jackarcher.com.

Speaker 1 Again, that's promo code getjack at jackarcher.com for 15% off your entire order. And thanks to JackArcher for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored by 5-Hour Energy. Caffeine just got a flavor upgrade with what they call tasty caffeine, 17 bold flavors that actually taste good.

Speaker 1 You know that midday moment when your brain just stalls out, but you still have a full list of things to do? Well, that's when I reach for a five-hour energy shot.

Speaker 1 Each tiny two-ounce shot has about as much caffeine as a 12-ounce premium cup of coffee, but with zero sugar and zero crash.

Speaker 1 It's big flavor, packed into the smallest, easiest bottle, perfect for tossing in your bag, in your car, really anywhere.

Speaker 1 And since it's still fall, they've brought back the ultimate seasonal favorite: pumpkin spice. Ah, yes, pumpkin spice.

Speaker 1 A little cinnamon, a little swagger, sweet, rich, and totally cozy without being heavy.

Speaker 1 Fuel your day with tasty caffeine, available in store and online at fivehourenergy.com or get it delivered by Amazon. Give yourself a caffeine flavor upgrade with 5-Hour Energy Shots.

Speaker 1 Get yours in store and online, 5Hourenergy.com or on Amazon today.

Speaker 2 When I came home last night,

Speaker 2 Give it up, girl.

Speaker 2 I can make you feel all right.

Speaker 2 Come on, then give it to me, baby.

Speaker 2 Give it up, girl.

Speaker 2 Give it to me, baby.

Speaker 2 Give it to me. Give me that stuff, that funk, that sweets, that funky stuff.
Woo!

Speaker 2 On this episode of the Commercial Break,

Speaker 2 the Eagles also have done six farewell tours, and yet they have yet to say farewell. I know.
I don't know why anybody says it anymore. Don't say it.
Don't say it. Just say,

Speaker 2 Sayonora for now, right? We're leaving. World.
We might be gone. Yeah.
Might want to check us out again. Hey, listen, this is the commercial breaks farewell show for all I know.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Could be the commercial breaks farewell show. As a matter of fact, every episode, consider every episode from now on.
To the next episode, because that's our farewell. When will that happen?

Speaker 2 I don't know. Tomorrow? Maybe.

Speaker 2 The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, Cows and Kittens. Welcome back to the Commercial Break.
I'm Brian Green. This is the Moth to My Sanders, Kristen Joy Hoadley.
Best of you, Chris Adams. Best to you, Brian.

Speaker 2 Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us.

Speaker 2 Just want to shout out to Andrew Callahan, Channel 5 News, Dear Kelly, the new documentary that has been self-produced, directed, and funded by Channel 5 and Andrew's media company.

Speaker 2 Go check that episode out Tuesday, the Tuesday Infomercial. A lot of positive feedback about that conversation.
I enjoyed that interview. Yeah, I asked some of our listeners ahead of time.

Speaker 2 I just sent them a quick note like, hey, you know, I know we don't normally talk about politics, but if if I was to have an interesting conversation,

Speaker 2 not specifically bashing one, you know, politician or another, but just about the, you know, the, how people get the landscape.

Speaker 2 The landscape and how people, you know, fall into extremism and, you know, the kind of the closely or the hotly divided country that we have right now, would you be interested in that conversation?

Speaker 2 And most people said yes, and a few people said, eh, not really interested in all that, but all the feedback was positive. And they said, Andrew did a good job.

Speaker 2 We did a good job of keeping away from the bashing and just having a conversation about about the nature of our culture in 2025.

Speaker 2 So please go listen to that episode and then check out Andrew's documentary. You can go to his Patreon page, unlock that dear Kelly.
Support independent journalism for sure, for sure, for sure.

Speaker 2 Okay, the

Speaker 2 New Orleans Super Bowl right around the corner of Chrissy, the football team against another football team. Can't wait.
Super excited.

Speaker 2 Taylor Swift's team versus the people who shoot each other after they win. So it's the Eagles versus the Chiefs.
The Chiefs in the Super Bowl for the third time in as many years.

Speaker 2 Could they do it? Could they be the only team in history to win three Super Bowls in a row? No one knows. And very few fucking care.
But I will say this.

Speaker 2 It is now, it is now the least expensive Super Bowl ticket in a

Speaker 2 decade. Inflation adjusted.
In a decade. So

Speaker 2 prices are dropping out. The bottom is falling out of the prices.
I just looked. You can now get a ticket for $2,300.
Not bad seats. I would never pay $2,300 to see a sports event.

Speaker 2 I almost paid $4,000 to go see the Cubs win the World Series, but that's the Cubs winning the World Series. Sorry, that wasn't a bomb.
That was just my phone.

Speaker 2 I do. It's now part of the show.
Blew in my phone dropping on the floor

Speaker 2 in this echo chamber. I don't know what it is about this table.
I got to figure it out. Maybe I should have bought an actual table that wasn't $32 on Wayfair.
No offense against Wayfair.

Speaker 2 Wayfair is great.

Speaker 2 But it was really heavy. I felt like, oh, this, when you look and it says it weighs 62 pounds, I thought to myself, great.

Speaker 2 It's a solid piece of wood. It is absolutely hollow in every sense of the word.
And so everything that happens in this house now gets echoed through the table into the microphone.

Speaker 2 So sorry. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there we go. There's a little annoyance for you in your morning drive there.
But that's crazy. That is interesting.
And

Speaker 2 I know. I was thinking about that this morning when I saw that, too.
I was wondering if the fact that it's in New Orleans has anything to do with it. I don't know.
I wonder why.

Speaker 2 I think you're on to something.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Last year, Las Vegas, ticket prices were through the roof, almost double. The cheapest ticket was about $5,000.

Speaker 2 And some experts that I read this morning said New Orleans has a lot to do with it because New Orleans, first of all, has far fewer hotel rooms. So the hotel rooms are terrible.

Speaker 2 I'm going to say that.

Speaker 2 It's, you know, the cost to travel down there

Speaker 2 is more expensive, the cost to travel and stay there. And then some people think that, you know, New Orleans just had a terrible incident occur.

Speaker 2 Maybe some people are shying away from going to New Orleans specifically.

Speaker 2 And then some people speculated Trump announced he's going to go to the game. And some people speculated that that is not a positive for ticket sales.
That is a negative.

Speaker 2 Not because people don't like Trump. That might be the truth too.
But because Trump has been a target

Speaker 2 and they worry about safety.

Speaker 2 Who knows if any of that's true? It's all speculation, I'm sure. And I I love New Orleans.
It's one of my favorite towns. Yeah.
Maybe. Me too.

Speaker 2 By the way, loved it. Astrid, not the biggest fan of it.

Speaker 2 I can't wear sandals in New Orleans because of the New Orleans soup, the street soup. I can't, you know, you don't want to have anything to do with that.

Speaker 2 So not my favorite footwear city, but I love it. I think it's beautiful.
It's a good time for beers. Yeah.
I have friends that love it. People are nice.

Speaker 2 And listen, Bourbon Street is not the street I go down at my age. It's just not.
I mean, you go down just to see shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's so many other parts. Oh, yeah.
It's like it, that is

Speaker 2 Bourbon Street, it is like the cheesecake factory of

Speaker 2 booze streets. Do you know what I'm saying? The main, yeah.
Yeah, it's bright, it's shiny, it has a thousand items on the menu.

Speaker 2 You know, all of them include a shit ton of cheap alcohol that's going to give you a headache. That's what you do when you're a frat boy or you go down for the first time, or Mardi Girl.

Speaker 2 I can see you going down Bourbon Street for a Mardi Girl because, of course, that's where a lot of reaction happens. Um, but that's not my favorite part of town.

Speaker 2 There are many other places in New Orleans that are just as fun and wonderful. And

Speaker 2 Frenchman Street.

Speaker 2 Frenchman Street. Frenchman Street.
The Garden District. I remember I went down to New Orleans for the jazz fest.
Yes. And many times one night we went over to, I think it was Frenchman Street.

Speaker 2 Am I right about that? Am I saying that right? Is that the right street? Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 And there was, you know, it's kind of a place where some retail and some houses are mixed together, like most places in New Orleans, down there

Speaker 2 in the district. And there were house parties going on.
Oh, yeah. Where live music was playing out of the open windows and you just walk in and out of some of these houses.
It was amazing. It was just

Speaker 2 the best. It was so much fun.

Speaker 2 And there's lots of drugs and alcohol down there. So at a certain part in my life, New Orleans was like, you know, that was like a mecca.
I'd much rather go to that. It's the soul to me.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 It's old. History, the soul of it.
Yeah. The music.
The music, food, the food's incredible. They have a piano down there that's twice my age.
Do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 They have a piano at one of those bars that's twice as old as I am. It's been there twice as long as I have been on earth.

Speaker 2 And yeah, it's just, there's so much going on down in New Orleans at any given time. It's a big city.
It's got big city problems. You certainly have to mind your P's and Q's down there.

Speaker 2 Like, don't take cab rides from a gypsy cab driver with a gun in his gun in his. Right, learn from Uncle Brian.
Learn from Uncle Brian. Take these sanctioned cabs.

Speaker 2 Though we did get from point A to point B safely, I'm pretty sure it's because someone someone had a panic attack in the car and the guy was like, rather than rob you, I'm going to drop you off because I don't want to be bothered by anybody.

Speaker 2 These white people bothering me. I'm getting out of here.

Speaker 2 So, but the ticket prices dropping is, I think, an indication also that people are a little bit nervous about the economy. You know, like, who's going to go spend?

Speaker 2 $5,000 just for you and a buddy to go see, unless you're like a die-hard Eagles or Chiefs fan. You can watch it on TV.
Let's all be honest.

Speaker 2 The best thing about the Super Bowl is the fucking commercials. That's what we want to see.
And who's doing the halftime show? Is it Nelly? No.

Speaker 2 Is it Kendrick Lamar? It's Kendrick Lamar. Yeah.
Kendrick Lamar. Okay.
All right. There you go.
Yeah. I'll look.
I like it. I'm looking forward to that.
Uh-huh. So,

Speaker 2 yeah. Okay.
Another sports-related thing that I wanted to talk to you, Piggy Fronton, is you see Marcus Jordan, Michael Jordan's

Speaker 2 son, got arrested for cocaine, leaving the scene of an accident. Yes.
Got stuck on a rail, you know, like two rail ties in his Lamborghini. Yeah, the railroad, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. His Lamborghini SUV.
Oh, it's an SUV. Oh, because why not? Spend an extra $50,000 on a Lamborghini.
That's insane to me. Listen,

Speaker 2 I knew Michael Jordan had children, but I had no idea. about any of those shows.
They've done a good job.

Speaker 2 I had no idea about Marcus Jordan. Well, you don't watch the Housewives then.
The Real Housewives. He's on the Real Housewives of something.
Oh, yeah. Miami.

Speaker 2 He dated Larsa Pippen, who is Scotty Pippen's ex-wife.

Speaker 2 Big deal. You know, there's a huge age difference.
And Michael Jordan and Scotty Pippen had a big rivalry. So it was kind of a

Speaker 2 grew up in the age of Michael Jordan in Chicago. Scotty Pippen and Michael Jordan were like wonder twins.
They were so good with each other and for each other on the basketball court.

Speaker 2 And I realized there may have been some friction that Michael Jordan got all of the attention and Scotty Pippen was.

Speaker 2 Michael Jordan isn't Michael Jordan without Scotty Pippen, right?

Speaker 2 But his ex-wife was screwing Michael Jordan's son. Oh, yeah, they did it for like a good year, maybe longer.
No way. It was all over the place.
That's a twisted affair. Yeah.
That is a twisted affair.

Speaker 2 I know. Wow.
That's the kind of drama that like usurps even real housewives' drama bullshit. Yeah, they had like a podcast together and stuff like that.
They had a podcast together?

Speaker 2 Scotty Pippen's ex-wife and Michael Jordan's son. Uh-huh.
What's the age difference there? Well, she's 50.

Speaker 2 He's 36. Okay, so there you go.
Wow. No shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, that's one way to get back at your

Speaker 2 expectation. Yeah, he was on the show and everything.

Speaker 2 That's one way to get back at your ex. Can you imagine fucking your

Speaker 2 longtime co-worker slash friend's ex-wife or son? That is unbelievable drama. Wow.
Okay, so the guy is known. Well, I don't, I don't watch Real Housewives, so I would not have known this.

Speaker 2 I knew that Michael Jordan had kids, but I had no idea who any of those children were until I started reading the headlines that Marcus Jordan was arrested for cocaine.

Speaker 2 He had cocaine in his pocket and he was drunk and he fled the scene of an accident when cops were trying to pull him over and got his Lambhini SUV stuck on a train crossing, essentially.

Speaker 2 This just befuddles me. This befuddles me to no end.
That if you can afford a Lamborghini. A Lamborghini.

Speaker 2 A Lamborghini.

Speaker 2 I'll let you get away with it for a couple of times. Lamborghini.

Speaker 2 It's a Lamborghini.

Speaker 2 It's a Lamborghoodle mixed with a Lamborghini.

Speaker 2 They're delicious. You can have them for breakfast.

Speaker 2 They're so cute. They honk instead of bark.

Speaker 2 The Lamborghini SUV

Speaker 2 coming in at, I don't know, half a million dollars.

Speaker 2 Yes, half a million fucking dollars. You can't afford a driver?

Speaker 2 You can afford someone

Speaker 2 to get in that seat and get in that driver's seat sober. You could pay me $30

Speaker 2 and an in-and-out burger, and I would stay with you all night long drinking water just to make sure that you got home safely. That would be enough for me.

Speaker 2 And by the way, there's plenty of those people out there. They're called Uber drivers.
They will do it for you for very little money.

Speaker 2 How you get into a car, being Michael Jordan's son, being a famous person yourself after getting smashed, leaving the scene of an accident, cocaine in your pocket. With cocaine in your pockets.

Speaker 2 Do what everybody else does. Have somebody else drive you if you have cocaine in your pocket.
That's what I did all the time. I refused to drive if I had cocaine in my pocket.
You want to know why?

Speaker 2 Because it's just adding insult to injury.

Speaker 2 It's just stupid. It's stupid.
Don't do that, Marcus. Come on.
You're already fucking your best friend, co-worker, ex-wife.

Speaker 2 And doesn't your dad talk some sense into you? Doesn't that daddy yours say, hey, son, don't fuck up while you're fucking up? And where did he get the Lab Bregini SUV?

Speaker 2 Where did he get it? Is that Michael Jordan's money or is that Marcus's money? What does Marcus do? Well, according to whatever I saw in the Housewives,

Speaker 2 he does have a lot of business ventures that he does on Atlanta. A lot of business ventures.
I don't quote him.

Speaker 2 We'll find that. Yeah, I know a million of these people.
I got business ventures. That's me.
That's Brian. I got business ventures.
I got a podcast.

Speaker 2 I'm an entrepreneur.

Speaker 2 I got a podcast. I'm a producer.
I'm making a movie. I'm an actor.
I'm an actress. I'm in real estate.
I'm in MLMs.

Speaker 2 I sell essential oils for a living. I got lots of entrepreneur things going on.
Yeah, that sounds very nebulous to me. And I know a lot of these people.

Speaker 2 Atlanta is full of people who have jobs that they never had. Do you know what I'm saying? They will tell you, you know, it's like, hey, what do you do?

Speaker 2 Oh, man, I got a lot of irons in the fire right now. I'm a producer on this movie.
I'm making this new album with a friend of mine. I got a podcast and a vodka.
I'm an influencer in the wild.

Speaker 2 I also have a talent management company. If you ever want me to take 10% of your money for no reason, they have all of these job descriptions.
Yeah. But they do none of them.

Speaker 2 They actually do none of of them. Atlanta.

Speaker 2 You want to live in Atlanta? Make up your own title. Waba.

Speaker 2 You're in Atlanta. Wabayam.
Producer.

Speaker 2 Producer. That's it.
So many people in Atlanta are. Producers.
We're all producers. What are we producing? I don't know.
It's like this is the kingdom of the non-existent job here in Atlanta.

Speaker 2 Now, everybody seems to have money, but no one can tell you exactly what they do

Speaker 2 because they're renting the fancy cars. I was going to say, or I think the rental business here in Atlanta has got to be huge.
Booming.

Speaker 2 I see

Speaker 2 cars, homes, jewelry, all of it. I'm sure like a lot of different places, like many different places in the United States of America, Atlanta is

Speaker 2 like the glowing metropolis full of $250,000 cars. You can be driving anywhere in Atlanta and see an extraordinarily expensive car every five minutes.
It's just the way that it works.

Speaker 2 But how do all of these people have all of this money? Where did it come from? I don't think it exists. I think you're right.
I think where it exists is on the rental lot.

Speaker 2 The guy who actually bought the car and is renting it to you, that's what happens. I mean, I was just reading an article about this kid who

Speaker 2 gained like half a million followers in three months. And it was an expose that's really not surprising to anybody.
The kid said he had a lot.

Speaker 2 It was his, like, his Instagram was full of shots of him holding, tens of thousands of dollars in cash, gold bars, gold chains, you know, million dollar shoes, driving around lab braginis.

Speaker 2 It's got a tailpipe. They're so cute.
You could get them in red or yellow.

Speaker 2 I love it.

Speaker 2 Make sure to take him for an oil change.

Speaker 2 He's got all this, like his Instagram was just full. And this kid is like 19 years old, full of multi-million.
I mean, the posts themselves were worth multi-million dollars. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 They just look like they're dripping in gold. And the expose was done by like this investigative reporter, quote unquote, on Instagram to find out that this kid arrival.

Speaker 2 This kid had none of it. None of it was true.
All the cash was borrowed. All the shoes were, you know, rented out from someplace.
The

Speaker 2 cars were not his. The plane that he claimed was his was not.

Speaker 2 he claimed he had a private plane, but in doing the investigation, the guy realized that the plane that he was taking a shot standing outside of was not the same plane that he was taking a shot standing inside of.

Speaker 2 This is all manufactured.

Speaker 2 And I feel like Atlanta, while I love this city, I love it to death. And I know there's a lot of money in Atlanta.
A lot of real money in Atlanta. This is a place where you can make things happen.

Speaker 2 It's a lovely city. But there's just too many $250,000 cows out out there on the street for me to believe that everyone is making that kind of money.
It's like a rat race.

Speaker 2 It's keeping up with the Joneses. Everyone's got to do it.
How do you look? Yeah, how do you look? That's right. Fake it till you make it.

Speaker 2 Isn't that guy that real estate late night TV real estate seminar guy? Like we were viewing him one, like Joe Kwan or whatever his name was.

Speaker 2 Joe Kwan, he made that up.

Speaker 2 Look like a million dollars till you make a million dollars. And that couldn't be more than work.
Sometimes it does. Most times it doesn't.
Dude, when I worked for Scam Scam Cole FM,

Speaker 2 which was also, you know, pretend like you have money and you have housewives adjacent. All of it.
Yeah, I was, it was so,

Speaker 2 it's where I realized that the housewives of Atlanta were neither housewives or lived in Atlanta, and none of them had money. It was all just a, it was all just a façade, essentially.

Speaker 2 No knock on Nini Leaks. You know, I think she's done great for herself.
No, I love all of them. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But they just showed these women in fantastic and spectacular riches, and almost none of it was true. And how did I know that? Because I became embedded.
I got like thrown into the middle

Speaker 2 of this group of ladies who was either on the housewives or adjacent to the housewives. None of them bad human beings.
All of them very nice. But you realize that it's a paper tiger.

Speaker 2 You poke it and it breaks, right?

Speaker 2 And same with the guy who ran the place, Simon Gwabaria is like the biggest paper tiger of them all.

Speaker 2 Who's now getting divorced from Portia? Oh, really? Yes. Well, fill me in on that one.
I do love me some Simon Guevati out there. You might have to watch The Housewives this thing.

Speaker 2 I can't lie. I can't watch Simon.
Yeah. I can't watch it.
Well, I mean, I don't know if he's a big part.

Speaker 2 They kicked him back to Africa, I think.

Speaker 2 They took his visa

Speaker 2 because he said he was someone else. So I'll take that.
Exactly. Once again.
Yeah. And then he went to, and then fucking phone.

Speaker 2 I think the story goes, is that he said he was someone else, lied on his visa application.

Speaker 2 And then when they caught him, then he sued the government because he said that they like, you know, kicked him out on fraudulent terms or whatever. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, the guy has been a joke for a long time. And it doesn't surprise me that Portia has, Porsche has eventually caught on to him.
Yes, she did. So she's back on the Housewives this season.

Speaker 2 It starts in March. Okay.
So

Speaker 2 I think you should watch it, but I can also be your

Speaker 2 liaison. Be my liaison because I don't think I can swallow another episode of another season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
But story.

Speaker 2 so this girl comes in with this guy. This guy claims to be a big-time music producer that he's working on all of these albums with these people that I had never heard of.
This one you were working on.

Speaker 2 When I was working there, yes. A couple nights later, we're at the bar that Simon said he owned, but never owned.
We're at that bar, and then this guy, and so he says, Let's take it back to my house.

Speaker 2 Take it back to my crib. And we're like, Okay, he we go to his crib.
It's like me, him, and this other person. His crib.
His crib,

Speaker 2 there isn't even a crib on the floor. There is zero furniture in the place.
And he was driving around a Maybach. And I was like, Did you just move in here?

Speaker 2 He's like, No, I've been here for about a year. I'm switching furniture up.
I'm switching furniture up.

Speaker 2 He had a blow-up mattress in the corner.

Speaker 2 It didn't look like he was switching furniture up. It looked like the furniture had never arrived, ever.
There hadn't been a rug, didn't have any indentations in it. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 It was just so manufactured. And I was like, wow, dude, you're driving around $150,000, $200,000 car and you do not have a couch to sit on.
No knock in your game.

Speaker 2 I know that's probably, you probably get, you know, lots of action that way, but it was just mysterious and magical to me about how, like,

Speaker 2 I don't know, how

Speaker 2 magical thinking this all was. And who knows if the Maybach was even his or even real.
Maybe he made that up on it. Maybe he put that nice Mercedes-Benz Maybach symbol on his Toyota.

Speaker 2 Maybe that's what happened.

Speaker 2 TCB will never pretend to have money because we'll probably never have any. And we're still looking for that airplane.
One engine, we don't care. If it can get up 100 feet in the air, we'll take it.

Speaker 2 Make sure you send inquiries to tcbpodcast.com. Let's take a break.
We'll be back.

Speaker 2 Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief.

Speaker 3 Follow us on Instagram at TheCommercial Break. Text or call us, 212-433-3TCB.
That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker.

Speaker 3 Then watch all the videos at youtube.com/slash thecommercial break. And finally, share the show.
It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters.

Speaker 2 See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult now, was it?

Speaker 3 You're welcome.

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored by our longtime sponsor, Squarespace. I am working on a new project, Information TBD.
It's very secretive.

Speaker 1 It's very hush-hush around here because, you know, podcast secrets are a thing.

Speaker 1 Anywho, there is only one all-in-one website tool that's designed to help my new project stand out and be successful, and that one tool is Squarespace.

Speaker 1 Squarespace can help me through every step of the process. The launch, the scaling, the branding, and the growth.

Speaker 1 No matter what part of the journey I am on, Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform, so it'll cater to my needs every step of the way.

Speaker 1 There are so many benefits, services, and tools built into Squarespace, I would need a 10-minute commercial to name them all.

Speaker 1 Cutting-edge design, search engine optimization tools, domain management, analytics, email campaigns, the ability to host videos, and most importantly, the ability to get paid.

Speaker 1 So if you've been thinking about building or upgrading your website, now's the time to head to squarespace.com/slash commercial for a free trial.

Speaker 1 And when you're ready to launch, make sure to use the offer code COMMERCIAL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. That's squarespace.com/slash commercial.

Speaker 1 Then be sure to use the code commercial when you're ready to launch. Squarespace has been with the commercial break for a long time, and we have been with Squarespace for even longer.

Speaker 1 This is a company we trust, it's a product we use, and there's one overarching reason why. It makes my life easier.
Go build yourself a beautiful website, squarespace.com/slash commercial.

Speaker 1 And thank you to Squarespace for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

Speaker 4 This is Free Range with Von Miller, the podcast where I step outside the lines and I take you with me.

Speaker 4 Each week, we're talking everything from the biggest stories around the league to the biggest stories off the field. This isn't your average sports podcast.

Speaker 4 This is game meets culture, locker room meets living room, and no topic is off limits.

Speaker 4 So if you're into good conversations that ruffle a few feathers, join me every Wednesday and follow Free Range with Von Miller, everywhere you get your podcast.

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored in part by Rula. You know, there was a time when I really needed therapy, but I could not find a therapist who took my insurance.

Speaker 1 I can remember feeling so stuck, like I had to choose between getting help and staying on budget. That's why I think what Rula is doing is so very important.

Speaker 1 Rula makes therapy accessible and affordable by partnering with over 100 insurance plans. The average copay is around $15 per session, and depending on your benefits, it could even be less.

Speaker 1 They also take the time to find the right therapist for you, someone who understands your goals, your preferences, and your background. There's no waiting weeks or months for an appointment.

Speaker 1 You can start as soon as tomorrow, and Rula stays with you along the way, checking in, supporting your progress, and helping you feel seen and cared for.

Speaker 1 Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/slash commercial to get started.

Speaker 1 And after you sign up, you'll be asked how you heard about them. them.
Please support the commercial break and let them know we sent you. That's rula.com slash commercial.

Speaker 1 You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget.

Speaker 2 I was playing a game with my kids last the other night. Let's play in a game.
Sometimes we like to have a dance party. Oh, I love that.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And so the little game is, is that everyone picks a song and then they go up, they are on stage, quote unquote, right? And they do their dancing and then I judge the contest, right?

Speaker 2 I say, Okay, you get a five for this or a ten for that. I'm really pretty a harsh judge.
I'm like the Simon Cowell of dads,

Speaker 2 really. Yeah, I'm like, What was that? That was awful.
You sound disgusting. Sound, you sound like a dead horse.
I don't sound like a British person either. What is that voice, Brian?

Speaker 2 So, one of my kids was singing September, which is in the Trolls movie, you know, body in, dancing in September, body on, dancing to remember.

Speaker 2 Yeah, So my kid was going, body down, dancing on September, body down.

Speaker 2 Now he's a kid. Like he missed here, you know, we have all of us mishear lyrics.
We're just making stuff up.

Speaker 2 I don't even, you know, I don't even know you can put that sentence together in real life, let alone while he's singing it. So he's just singing what he knows.

Speaker 2 And so I tried to tell him, I said, no, the lyrics are body-da, right? Baudi-da, however, you say that. And I don't even know the lyrics.
Is it bowdy-da? I don't know. Bowdy-da.

Speaker 2 It's originally originally Earth, Wind, and Fire, right? Yeah, that's the version we were listening to. It's in the Trolls movie.
So that's why, you know, they like it.

Speaker 2 September.

Speaker 2 Hold on one second while we get this right. Here it is.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's Badi Yah. Badi Yah.
Body Yah. Sadie's close.
Sadie, yeah. Okay, body down, body ya.
And it got me thinking, what are some of the most famous misheard lyrics?

Speaker 2 Because we do this all the time. It's a pretty common thing that we hear something that's not really there because of the way or the inflection or the accent in the artist's voice.

Speaker 2 We just don't get it, right? Now it's all pretty easy because you got Spotify saying those lyrics to you.

Speaker 2 Back in the day, you would have to open up your tape case cover and get to the bottom of the lyrics. And that is if the artist was generous enough to put the lyrics.
It wasn't on there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it wasn't always on there. That's right.

Speaker 2 Nothing pissed me off more than getting a brand new new CD or tape to find out that there was zero information on the inside except for who the fucking engineer was. I don't care.

Speaker 2 I want to know what you said in that fucking song. Yes.
Yes. Thank you, Chrissy.
It should be mandatory. Mandatory minimum.

Speaker 2 So let's go through some of the 40 of the top miss heard, 40 popular misheard lyrics. Okay, what do you think? And then I'd love to do that.

Speaker 2 And then at the end, I'll give you one that's a family favorite.

Speaker 2 Go. Let's start off with that.
Well, my sister, when she was younger, used to think that, you know, that song, Every Time You Go Away with Meat. Every time you take a piece of meat

Speaker 2 with you. But she thought it said meat.

Speaker 2 Every time you go, you take a piece of meat with you. Yes.

Speaker 2 She was like, why do they say that? Yes, that is Brian, because he's poor.

Speaker 2 Every time he goes away, he takes some extra meat with him.

Speaker 2 That was you for like a string of months when you were doing the carnivore diet.

Speaker 2 When I was doing the carnivore carnivore diet, there was no meat was safe in my house because I was so ravenously hungry because there were zero carbs in my body. Astronom was just feeding me steaks.

Speaker 2 So expensive. Steak, bacon.
I didn't care. If it was alive,

Speaker 2 I was killing it and eating it.

Speaker 2 To be honest with you, I lost a bunch of weight, but I lost too much weight. Like it went quickly thin.
It melted off me and it went quick. So I went back to cream and cereal.

Speaker 2 I went back to cream and cereal after my parathyroid got taken out. I figured, hey, get back to calcium.
I need to build my bones back up.

Speaker 2 Okay, ready? Here we go. As

Speaker 2 stated by goodhousekeeping.com. Oh, good housekeeping.
They're also the ones that gave us the Christmas list. Oh, yeah.
That's right. You're right.
I think we had a Harper's Bazaar one in there, too.

Speaker 2 And I don't know. Anyway, here we go.
Ready? Okay. Dancing Queen by Abba.
We all know Dancing Queen.

Speaker 2 Feel the beat of the tangerine.

Speaker 2 I've never heard that in the lyrics. No.
And is that what it is? It's the tangerine? Tambourine. Yeah, thank you, Tina, because Good Housekeeping here didn't bother to put the real lyric in there.

Speaker 2 They're just telling us the missing one. The miss one.
We're going to have to figure it out on our own. All right, Losing My Religion by REM.

Speaker 2 Let's pee in the corner. Let's pee in the spot.
Life amazing. Yeah, that's me in the corner.
How did you get that one wrong? I know. What dumb dumbs are listening to that song?

Speaker 2 By the way, I saw a video with Michael Stipe.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 the guy who was doing the video played Michael the original audio that was used for Losing My Religion, the isolated track of his voice.

Speaker 2 And Michael Stipe started crying when he heard himself in that isolated track. And the guy was like, what's getting you so emotional about that? He's like, it's just so raw

Speaker 2 and so emotional. Yeah.
And I was so young. I realized, it makes me think about how much time has passed since he's gone.
Michael Stipe's getting up there in age for sure.

Speaker 2 Do you remember, like, total side note, that REM signed the biggest record contract in history at the time?

Speaker 2 It was like $150 million for five albums with Warner Brothers music or whatever it was, Universal Warner Brothers music. And they never had another hit song after that.
They didn't. They didn't.

Speaker 2 They didn't have one hit song after that. Like,

Speaker 2 it was not a good deal for Warner Brothers. Now, if they bought the whole catalog, then I could understand.
They're still a classic band. Yeah, of course.
From Athens, Georgia.

Speaker 2 You're the one that I want. You're the one that I want.

Speaker 2 I've got shoes. They're made of plywood.

Speaker 2 Oh, I've got chills.

Speaker 3 I've got chill multiply.

Speaker 2 That doesn't even, that's not even close. No.
Who are these people who are mishearing this?

Speaker 2 Good for you by Selena Gomez, which I don't know the original song. Do you? No.

Speaker 2 It says, I'm farting carrots.

Speaker 2 That can't be it.

Speaker 2 What the real lyric is, I'm 14 carrots. 14 carrots.
14 carrots.

Speaker 2 Monster by Eminem and Rihanna. It says, I'm friends with the mustard that's under my bed.

Speaker 2 But of course, the real lyric is, I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed.

Speaker 2 In sync, it's gonna be me.

Speaker 2 And people think it's they're saying, it's gonna gonna be May.

Speaker 2 May. May.
The month.

Speaker 2 I mean, I realize that in sync was not exactly, you know, they weren't, I don't know, it wasn't Shakespeare, but why would they write a lyric called It's Gonna Be May? Yeah.

Speaker 2 If you just think about that for one second,

Speaker 2 Old Town Road by Little Nas. Oh, yeah, Old Town Road.
I'm gonna take my horse to the hotel room. I'm gonna ride till I can't no more.

Speaker 2 The hotel room?

Speaker 2 Actually, I I think I did think it said that.

Speaker 2 I don't know what the

Speaker 2 gonna take my horse to the old town. Old town road.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Sounds a good song. Stir it up by Bob Marley, which is a fantastic song.
Stir it up. Stir it up.

Speaker 2 Little darling, stir it up. People say, people think he's saying cereal.
No.

Speaker 2 Little darling, cereal. No.
Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 2 good housekeeping. Where are they getting this? I think good housekeeping is making this up on their own.

Speaker 2 Or this is an AI product. Right.
Because who thinks he's saying cereal? No. He was a stoner, but I don't think he's saying stir up your cereal.
I think Bob is a bit deeper than that.

Speaker 2 We will rock you by Queen. I can understand this one.

Speaker 2 Buddy, you're an old man, hard man, living on a man. Gonna be a big man someday.
You got mud on your face. Big disgrace.
Kicking your cat all over the place.

Speaker 2 It's kicking your can all over the place. And I think the original lyric was actually kicking your ass all over the place.
But I think the record company said, uh uh uh no no no no

Speaker 2 uh blowing in the wind by bob dylan the 17 minute diatribe uh and my fans my fans are blowing these ants my friend are blowing in the wind these ants are blowing in the wind

Speaker 2 and definitely not ants this course it's these answers my friend are blowing through the wind.

Speaker 2 Royals by Lord.

Speaker 2 That was a good song. Yeah, it is.

Speaker 2 You can call me Bean. I don't know which part of the song this comes in, but she says, you can call me, or you can call me Green Bean.
She says, you can call me Queen Bee. Queen Bee.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that makes more sense. Hold Me Close, My Tiner Dancer by Elton John.
Oh, yeah, that's one that's been on the list. Yeah.
Hold me close, my Tiner. Tiny Dancer.

Speaker 2 That's always on the list.

Speaker 2 I guess that's not a far-fetched. I mean, you know, Elton's a man with certain acquired tastes.

Speaker 2 Who doesn't like a who doesn't

Speaker 2 like Tony Danza in the 80s for five minutes? Tony Danza for five minutes in the 80s was just your regular old Joe guy that everyone could kind of, you know, he was the housekeeper

Speaker 2 of the house on who's the boss. Oh, that's right.
Yeah. I forgot that he was the housekeeper in that show.
Very forward for that time.

Speaker 2 How long did Who's the Boss stay on? It was on for a long time. I mean, I remember growing up with it.
It had Alyssa Milano. Oh, yeah, tonnes.
Who was one of my first crushes? Judith Light.

Speaker 2 Judith Light, that's right.

Speaker 2 Wasn't there a guy in there too? Danny Masterson? Why not Danny Masterson? He was in a different

Speaker 2 Danny Masterson, he's a guy that's in jail currently. Yeah, he was that 70s show.
I forgot. I forgot who the kid was, but Waterfalls by TLC.
Okay. Go go Jason Waterfalls.
Go Go Jason Waterfalls. No.

Speaker 2 Don't go Jason. Chasing Waterfalls.

Speaker 2 Blank Space by Taylor Swift. Got a lot of Starbucks lovers.

Speaker 2 Okay, Starcross lovers, obviously.

Speaker 2 Starbucks lovers. What in the good fuck is going on there?

Speaker 2 Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys.

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 2 Concrete Jungle. Wet Dream Tomato.

Speaker 2 Wet Dream Tomato. Where Dreams Are Made of.
I'm calling your bullshit on this with housekeeping. This is an AI.
This must be AI because

Speaker 2 who in the world

Speaker 2 is saying concrete jungle wet dream tomato? It doesn't even come close to sounding like that.

Speaker 2 Baby Baby by Amy Grant. Don't know that song.
Gonna move on. Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera.

Speaker 2 Come, come, come and let me meow. Come, come, come, and let me meow.
No. I don't even remember that part of the song.

Speaker 2 Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix. This one is a very frequently misheard lyric.

Speaker 2 Excuse me while I kiss this guy.

Speaker 2 But it's

Speaker 2 excuse me while I kiss the sky.

Speaker 2 Message in a bottle by the police.

Speaker 2 A year has passed since I broke my nose.

Speaker 2 A year has passed since I wrote my notes. Since I wrote this note.

Speaker 2 Humans by the killers. Are we human? Oh, are we denser? Denser.
D-E-N-S-E-R. What is denser? Dancer.
Denser. Like dense.
Like thicker.

Speaker 2 So stupid. Oh, God.
How about living on a prayer by Bon Jovi?

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 2 Living on a prayer. Doesn't make a difference if we're naked or not.

Speaker 2 If we make it or not.

Speaker 2 I like the naked or not. Yeah, actually, I could go with that.

Speaker 2 Last time we saw Bon Jovi, he wasn't doing so hot. Do you remember a couple years ago when we reviewed Bon Jovi doing a live concert? Yeah, and it was just like his voice was extraordinarily torn up.

Speaker 2 He couldn't hit a note to save his life. He had a real problem.
He had a real problem. So I forgive him.

Speaker 2 I don't think I've ever apologized. I do a lot of apologizing on this show in case you're just joining us.
So here's yet another apology on behalf of Brian. I'm sorry.
Straight to Bon Jovi.

Speaker 2 Yeah, straight to Bon Jovi. I thought you were just being bad at singing, but apparently you had a throat issue.
So there you go. Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
The The girl with colidoscope.

Speaker 2 The girl with colitis goes by. Oh.
It's the girl with the kaleidoscope eyes. Colitis, really? Yes.

Speaker 2 This is definitely AI. Why would they run this with AI like this? I mean, I guess AI is taking over the world.

Speaker 2 Bad Moon Rising by Credence.

Speaker 2 There's a bathroom on the right.

Speaker 2 There's a bathroom on the right.

Speaker 2 That's a good one. I'm using that one next time I hear that song.

Speaker 2 Like a Virgin, McDonald, like a Virgin. Touched for the 31st time.

Speaker 2 Like a Virgin. The 31st time.
My name is Bonnie. Bonnie Blue.

Speaker 2 Bonnie Blue.

Speaker 2 Running Down a Dream by Tom Petty. Running Down a Drain.

Speaker 2 That could be my theme song for the other day.

Speaker 2 And some of these I don't know. So Rock the Casbah by The Clash.
Rock the Cat Box. Rock the Cat Box.
If you really don't. Wait.

Speaker 2 Shari don't like it.

Speaker 2 Rock the Kasbah. And it's not she really don't like it.
It's Sharia don't like it. We're talking about Sharia Law.
Paradise City by Guns N' Roses.

Speaker 2 Take me down to a very nice city where the grass is green and the grass are pretty. Take me down.
It's the fucking name of the song.

Speaker 2 Paradise City, you dum-dums.

Speaker 2 Panama by Van Halen. Panama.
Animal.

Speaker 2 Animal.

Speaker 2 It's the name of the fucking song. Yes.
Although I see why it's easy to get confused because of the way that he sings it.

Speaker 2 Let's see. Paradise by Coldplay.
Don't know that one. Smells like Teen Spirit by Nirvana.

Speaker 2 Now, if you have a muddle mouth full of rocks, then I can understand why it might be hard to understand some of your lyrics. And it wasn't like Kurt was always singing so crisp and clearly, right?

Speaker 2 I'm a lion, I'm a vinyl, I'm a Skittle,

Speaker 2 I'm a Beetle.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're right, though. I think at the time when that song first came out, I did not know what he was saying.
A mulatto, an albino,

Speaker 2 a mosquito,

Speaker 2 my libido, that's right.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I'm a believer by the monkeys. Then I saw her face.

Speaker 2 Now I'm gonna leave her.

Speaker 2 That's awesome.

Speaker 2 And now I saw her face. And I'm gonna leave her.

Speaker 2 That's a song for an ugly girl. Do you try to get it? Again, the name of the song.

Speaker 2 Yes, that's the oh, yeah, that's true. It's the name of the fucking song.
I'm a believer.

Speaker 2 Summer of 69 69 by Brian Adams. Great song.
Yeah, I loved at the time. I got my first real sex dream.

Speaker 2 That doesn't make sense for the next part. Bought it at the five and dime.
Bought it at the five and dime.

Speaker 2 Blinded by the light. That's

Speaker 2 a hard one. That's a hard one.
Well, yeah, wrapped up like a douche.

Speaker 2 Rev up like a douche, another roamer in the night. Blinded by the light, but it's douche.
It's revved up like a douche, another runner in the night. But he clearly says douche in there.

Speaker 2 It sounds like it must be. I think he slyly put that in there because if you I've listened to that song so many times for the purpose of trying to figure out if he's actually saying douche.

Speaker 2 I did this, like I went through this exercise one night high, and I listened to that song. I must have been 20 times in a row.
He says the word douche, even though it's deuce, he says douche.

Speaker 2 Clearly, he says

Speaker 2 clearly.

Speaker 2 And one more for uh shits and giggles hold on one second there was one more that i wanted to do here

Speaker 2 oh did i lose it i might have lost it i have a cindy lopper one okay go for it you know uh

Speaker 2 time after time yes where she says and you say go slow uh-huh my kids to this day swear she says and you say coleslaw and you say coleslaw

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's whatever you hear at the time, you know. Listen, this is a fun game.

Speaker 2 I've played played this a lot in my life. It's a fun game, misheard lyrics.
And, you know, we all interpret things the way that we interpret them.

Speaker 2 And to be fair, like, artistry is artistry, and lyric writing is not always straightforward. So there's a lot of people.

Speaker 2 I mean, you want a fun game, find someone that has never read a lyric for Pearl Jam and see if they can figure out Yellow Led Better, Black, Jeremy, Alive, any of the early works of Eddie Vedder, and see if they can.

Speaker 2 understand anything that he's saying. I misheard those lyrics.
I made them up in my head. I loved Pearl Jam from the moment moment I heard them.
And I made up so many lyrics to a live, even flow.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you had to. Yeah.
Freezing. Rather see you sleeping with a guy named Billy.

Speaker 2 I'd rather see you sleeping on a pillow made of concrete. Okay, all right, let's take a break and then we'll be back.

Speaker 3 Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.
Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears.

Speaker 3 And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page.

Speaker 3 You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show?

Speaker 3 Leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822.
Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us.
That'd be fine too.

Speaker 3 We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay.
Just send a text. We'll respond.

Speaker 3 Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

Speaker 5 Hey, Ryan Reynolds here, wishing you a very happy half-off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service.

Speaker 5 Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price.

Speaker 6 So that means a half day.

Speaker 5 Yeah? Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.

Speaker 6 Upfront payment of $45 for a three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only.
Speed slow water 55 gigabytes of networks busy.

Speaker 6 Taxes and fees extra.

Speaker 1 See Mintmobile.com.

Speaker 7 Ready to level up? Chumba Casino is your playbook to fun. It's free to play with no purchase necessary.
Enjoy hundreds of online social games like Blackjack, Slots, and Solitaire.

Speaker 7 Anytime, anywhere, with fresh releases every week whether you're at home or on the go let chumba casino bring the excitement to you plus get free daily login bonuses and a free welcome bonus join now for your chance to redeem some serious prizes play chumba casino today no purchase necessary vgw group voidword prohibited by law 21 plus tnc's apply

Speaker 2 All right, well, speaking of music news, a couple of old geezer things I think I should take care of. First of all, the Eagles, I think, are in the middle of their run over their

Speaker 2 in the sphere. And

Speaker 2 yeah, and so I think they played 25 shows and then announced that they were doing some more shows. So I saw some footage of it.
Listen, I like the Eagles okay.

Speaker 2 Like it's not my favorite band in the world. It's not the worst band in the world.
I think Don Henley did some better work than the Eagles ever did. But anyway, I regress.

Speaker 2 To me, like I saw some of the footage. It's I don't know that the Eagles are the right band to have at the sphere.

Speaker 2 I'm like, okay, you can make some, you could make any imagery at the sphere, I'm sure, for the sphere, and people would pay to see it to any music because it's just such a marvel of technology.

Speaker 2 It's beautiful. But I just don't think.
There's only so much Hotel California. Yeah, there's only so many Hotel California,

Speaker 2 you know, there's only so many images you can put to Hotel California before you're just stretching to make something fit there. There are so many other bands that I think would be great there.

Speaker 2 Have David Gilmore play there. Have Roger Waters do his version of the wall, like his very faithful version of the wall.
Have him do that. And I know they got to be talking to some of these people.

Speaker 2 They have to be. And I would imagine that if you do something like the wall at the sphere, it's got to take an immense amount of time to put all of that imagery together.

Speaker 2 But that's one I would pay to see a lot of money on. And I would take a lot of LSD.
I'm just saying that right out front. Ayahuasca, Pink Floyd the wall.
Put a reunion together.

Speaker 2 Put a reunion together for Pink Floyd the Wall. Get David Gilmore and Roger Waters to stop bitching at each other.
Get them in a room together and have them play that fucking wall.

Speaker 2 And that's what I would pay $5,000 to see, hands down, all day of the week, wouldn't you? Yes, I would love to see that. But I just don't know about the Eagle.
I'm sorry. Let me bash on the Eagles.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 I said the same thing because, you know, I went out there to go see the dead, and that was awesome. And then the next up was the Eagles.
And I was like, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know what they're going to do for that.

Speaker 2 Especially compared to the Grateful Dead. And there was that, you know, the New Year's show that went down with that EDM guy.
Oh, yeah. yeah, Anaraxer.
Anna, Animax. Enema.
Anema. A-N-Y-M-A.

Speaker 2 However, you're going to pronounce that. Listen, those, those

Speaker 2 visuals were crazy.

Speaker 2 I watched so many videos on that. I went down a rabbit hole and I was like, holy shit, that is so good.
Those visuals were stunning. On Instagram, they were stunning.

Speaker 2 Like on this tiny little screen, they were stunning. And I can only imagine what it was like to be there.

Speaker 2 And I had never, ever in my life, ever heard of this human being, but he filled the place, I think, two nights in a row. Oh, yeah, he's coming back too.
Oh, he is? They're bringing him back.

Speaker 2 Listen, Fish, Grateful Dead, you know,

Speaker 2 Goose, Geese, Gossards. I don't know.

Speaker 2 All the geese and goose bands that are out there, all these like jam bands that have visuals and light shows as a part of the kind of the nomenclature of what goes on on an every show.

Speaker 2 Those are the people I think that could be filling the sphere with really cool opportunities to embed those visuals further into their fans' minds. The Eagles were never known for their visuals.

Speaker 2 I don't remember Don Henley ever being the guy who you would be like, hey, man, let's take some mushrooms and go see Don Henley.

Speaker 2 It doesn't make sense. I don't know.
To me, it doesn't make sense.

Speaker 2 It just doesn't make sense for me. I'd take skinny John Popper before I went and saw the Eagles.
You know what I'm saying? Skinny John Popper, Blues Traveler. I would take them beforehand.

Speaker 2 And where's Dave Matthews? Why isn't he getting in on all this action? Even though he's not really known for his visuals either, I could see Dave Matthews making something out of it, right?

Speaker 2 But yet, I think the improv bands like fish, it takes so much work to like hold yourself back from just going ape shit crazy like you would on any other show.

Speaker 2 But apparently the fish run was amazing, too.

Speaker 2 Like jam bands, don't like jam bands. Everybody can agree when we're on mushrooms that fish is okay.
Yeah. Okay? All right?

Speaker 2 I don't care who you are.

Speaker 2 You can complain about fish all day long. Take some mushrooms.
You like fish. Let me tell you a little story.

Speaker 2 I have a daughter. I have many daughters, but I have one daughter in specific, specifically.
And she's a dancer and a twirler and a gymnast and the whole nine yards. She is.

Speaker 2 She's using her body. She is a she's aware of herself and the way that her body moves.
And she's very good at gymnastics and dancing and all this other stuff.

Speaker 2 So the other day, just on a lark, I played

Speaker 2 some live version of Fire on the Mountain. And

Speaker 2 instantly, my daughter started spinning and twirling and noodling like a moron, like we all do when we hear that song, because now all this, we're thrown back to 1963, topless, you know, spinning around in our funny skirts and hula hoops.

Speaker 2 It was amazing. I love that.
I played that music and it was almost like instinct. It was instinct.
It was like it was in her DNA to act like a fucking hippie the second I put on something hippie-ish.

Speaker 2 That's fantastic. So we're having our dance party last night and it's her turn and she says, play me fire on the mountain.
And I'm like, I created a fucking hippie. Yes.
God damn it.

Speaker 2 Now I know she's going to be sleeping with dread-headed boys who don't have jobs and drive shitty cars without safety equipment. It's all going to shit.
It's all going to Helena Anthony.

Speaker 2 It's all going to no one. And she's like, far.

Speaker 2 She's four and she's doing the noodle. It was insane.
I swear to God. I have a video of it.
She just turned into a hippie the second she heard the song. Crazy.
Ozzy Osbourne

Speaker 2 is announcing, or Sharon is announcing, that Ozzie Osborne, full stop, will have his last show at the one day music fest.

Speaker 2 That one day. It's last.
Stephen, I like to say farewell tour. Maybe.
Maybe. Maybe.
It's my close to last show.

Speaker 2 It's almost the last to the last before the last. The last before the last.
Listen, we heard that about Stephen Tyler, too. And then I see Stephen Tyler's doing a

Speaker 2 this is really rich coming from Stephen Tyler. I believe anything that helps anybody, any kind of charity that's doing any kind of good is great news.
But he's got a charity called Janie's

Speaker 2 whatever, Janie says or Janie does or Janie whatever, based on the song Janie's Got a Gum, a very famous song from the late 90s, early 2000s, late 90s.

Speaker 2 He now has a charity that helps young ladies in whatever capacity they help young ladies. And so he's raising money for it.

Speaker 2 So I see Steven Tyler out there with all those scarfs on that damn fucking microphone twirling and whirling around all different clubs in la you know with famous other people like uh the robinson brothers from black crows and i think i saw miley cyrus up there and then he was doing he was at the comedy club in law uh the comedy store and he the people you know there were comedians and then there were also musicians and he got out there and sang a few songs i thought we got told that uh steve that aerosmith broke up because steven tyler didn't have a voice anymore and now he's out there acting like an idiot singing uh singing all all these songs with everybody else.

Speaker 2 I want an explanation, full explanation from Aerosmith as to why they really broke up. Do you remember? I don't, I want to remind you of this.
Not that anyone cares this much about Aerosmith anymore.

Speaker 2 I certainly don't. But I went through my Aero.
I think we all went through our Aerosmith phase. If you're of a certain age, you remember Pump and

Speaker 2 Pump and Pump. You remember that album?

Speaker 2 It was a big one. Every single song on that album was a runaway hit.
Every single song.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 you remember that during the pandemic, their drummer, I think Kramer is his last name, Joey Kramer. Joey Kramer got locked out of practice.
Do you remember this?

Speaker 2 They were practicing for an upcoming tour and he got locked out of the practice. And there was like some kind of person standing at the door saying, no, you're not allowed in.

Speaker 2 And he was like, but I'm part of the band. And he's like, yeah, not anymore, dude.
So he basically got told when he showed up for practice.

Speaker 2 And they claimed that he was on painkillers and he couldn't do the job anymore or whatever. That's rich coming from Stephen Tyler.

Speaker 2 Isn't Stephen Tyler the one who left a 14-year-old in a burning apartment so that no one would find out she was pregnant or something like that? Do you remember that story? No, I don't remember that.

Speaker 2 I think it's a really, it's been known that he's had lots of pill problems and as well as other drugs. Yes,

Speaker 2 no shame in that. There's lots of people that have addiction problems.
There is, I'm not shaming anybody with an addiction problem.

Speaker 2 I'm saying it's a little rich that now he's got a charity that helps young women. When

Speaker 2 he he wasn't doing any of that back in the day. He was impregnating young women, not helping them.
And now Errol Smith's broken up, but not really.

Speaker 2 I mean, they're broken up because of his voice, but his voice is still being used other places. There's something else going on there, and I want a full explanation right now.

Speaker 2 As well as, is this Ozzy Osbourne's really his last concert, or is Sharon just trying to sell tickets? Yeah, both, probably.

Speaker 2 Here's the thing about Ozzy. Never the world's biggest Ozzy Osborne fan.
Musically. Musically.

Speaker 2 my thing. Black Sabbath wasn't necessarily my thing.
He had that one song with that lead of Ford, remember? You told me lies, you told me bries. I said the man, and now I feel so rain.

Speaker 2 Mama, I'm coming home. Do you remember that song? Okay.
All right. He had that one song.
I like some Black Sabbath stuff, but yeah, it was never in my wheelhouse to pop on.

Speaker 2 Sharon has taken control of his career. She always has been.
Yes.

Speaker 2 At some point in the 70s or 80s or whenever they got married.

Speaker 2 She took over his career and she did wonderful things for the guy she sobered him up she straightened him out although i i if anybody's ever seen any of the osborns the television show i think you would have have a tough time arguing that ozzie was sober but okay let's make the assumption that he's on some medication for purposes but she took over that career and she really helped him because oh he was

Speaker 2 a fucking hot mess yes everybody needs a sharon osborne in their life but then sharon has a sharon has a a way of making everything everything a little bit like hyperbolic.

Speaker 2 Do you know what I'm saying? She's always blowing everything up. I think this is the fifth time that Ozzy Osborne is going to do his last concert.
He was on his last tour six years ago.

Speaker 2 He was going to make his last festival appearance three years ago. He made his last television appearance two years ago.

Speaker 2 But none of her is his last appearance. But this time she says full stop.
It's his last appearance. I doubt it.
We'll see. I think this is just.

Speaker 2 The Eagles also have done six farewell tours, and yet they have yet to say farewell. I know.
I don't know why anybody says it anymore. Don't say it.
Don't say it. Just say

Speaker 2 Sayonora for now, right? We're leaving. World.
We might be gone. Yeah.
You might want to check us out again. Hey, listen, this is the Commercial Breaks farewell show for all I know.

Speaker 2 It could be the Commercial Breaks Farewell Show. As a matter of fact, every episode, consider every episode from now on.
To the next episode, because that's our farewell. When will that happen?

Speaker 2 I don't know. Tomorrow? Maybe if I'm still around.
If I'm not, I don't know. If I'm not feeling good, maybe I don't do it.
This is the Commercial Breaks absolute last show. Forget it.

Speaker 2 we're not doing one tomorrow until we show up tomorrow to do yet another one. Okay, don't say that, that's just silliness.
We know you're just trying to sell tickets, Sharon.

Speaker 2 We know that Ozzy's going to show up. Some you're going to have to roll him out there to pay some bills at some point.
You're going to roll Ozzie out there and have him do a little thing.

Speaker 2 Guy's 78 years old. This could very well be his farewell show, unless then you see that guy that they're still rolling out there.
What's his name? Oh, Frankie Valley. Frankie Valley.

Speaker 2 Frankie Valley is 117 years old. He is a robot.
He is literally has a mechanical head and mouth, and he is still going out there and singing live. Is he really singing? I don't know.
Some of it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, some of it, I think.

Speaker 2 I think he's got auto-tune and a backing track, but I think he's trying to get some breath out of that mouth. I'm not even sure the guy takes a full breath anymore.
But you know what?

Speaker 2 They put him on a dolly and they roll him out there every night and they stand him up. That's right.
And they... They use a computer to make his hands move.
And the guy goes out. Is he a Chuck E.

Speaker 2 Cheese? Yes.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 He is Chuck E. Cheese.
That's who he is.

Speaker 2 They literally made him an electronic man. And he goes out there with his little robot wheels and

Speaker 2 he goes out there and he sings for 30 minutes. Well, they say you should always have a purpose in life that keeps you going.
I don't disagree with that.

Speaker 2 And that's why I think Ozzie is not going to have his last, his final farewell show at this festival.

Speaker 2 Because I think that if you're a musician or whatever it is you do in life, like my grandfather was 99 years old in a retirement home with a hip that wouldn't heal, colon cancer, and could barely speak any kind of English.

Speaker 2 And the guy, and he was a former FBI agent, till the day that he passed away, the day before he passed away, he asked one of the nurses to take his resume and fax it to a phone number.

Speaker 2 And they would pretend to do that. They would pretend to do that because it was giving him some kind of purpose.

Speaker 2 So listen, this might be the Commercial Breaks farewell show, or we, Chrissy and I, might be doing this until our 98th birthday. Until we're in the Chuck E.
Cheese stage. Yeah, until we're in Chuck E.

Speaker 2 Cheese stand. Tina's got to roll us out here.

Speaker 2 There's strings. Yes.

Speaker 2 Until

Speaker 2 AI is doing my voice. And I'm just here going,

Speaker 2 until I have no teeth. Actually, you know what? I'll always have teeth because I know that I go get them in turkey.
That's what I know.

Speaker 2 All right. Well, will we see you tomorrow?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Es possible.

Speaker 2 Es possible.

Speaker 2 Hey, once again, I want to thank Andrew Kelly.

Speaker 2 Now I'm thinking about me doing this. It well into my retirement days.
Yes. Yes.
I'm getting close to retirement age.

Speaker 2 Well, I know. When you think about it, well, retirement age back in the 60s.
Now it's, you know, now you work till you're 72 or whatever it is.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we'll be down at the villages. No doubt.
Doing the show.

Speaker 2 I mean, I heard, listen, I heard the villages is taking a turn, and I was watching a reel about people in the villages racing their golf carts.

Speaker 2 That's what they're doing, racing golf carts up and down the street. It's like a parade.
And some guy was driving in the wrong direction and smacked into another golf cart.

Speaker 2 And the guy who was driving one of the golf carts went flying out into the street.

Speaker 2 It was like really intense. And I was like, geez, they have fun down there, but it's dangerous.

Speaker 2 It can be. Yeah, listen, could be Chrissy and I.
Could be Chrissy and I. All right, thanks to Andrew Callahan.

Speaker 2 I'm going to put links in the show notes to go to his Patreon and watch the brand new directorial, independent directorial debut.

Speaker 2 Not his directorial debut, but the first one he's directed independently.

Speaker 2 Dear Kelly, I think it's a movie you must watch to have a little bit of a better understanding of why this country is so polarized, at least for some people, why this country is so polarized and how easy it is to get sucked into extremism and remember like my father-in-law says aye but i

Speaker 2 and also extremes on both sides end up in the same place just remember that i don't know what it means but it sounds really smart so i'm gonna say it

Speaker 2 212-433-3 tcb 212-433-3822

Speaker 2 if you want to hear your voice on the commercial break leave us a message your salutations your goodwills your good wishes, or just talk shit about us.

Speaker 2 One way or the other, we'll probably play it on our face. Wish us off our farewell tour.
Fare thee well. Fare thee well.

Speaker 2 So go ahead, text us, leave us a voicemail. You may be on the next episode of the commercial break.
TCBpodcast.com.

Speaker 2 All the audio, all the video right there from one location, and your free sticker at the contact us button at the commercial break on Instagram and youtube.com slash the commercial break. Thanks, Dr.

Speaker 2 Phil. You're welcome, welcome, Brian.
All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now. I think so.
I love you. I love you.
Best to you.

Speaker 2 The best to you out there on the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy, and I will say, we do say, and we must say.

Speaker 2 Goodbye.

Speaker 8 Don't let the holidays derail your fitness. Stay on track with Hydro.
20 minutes rowing on a hydro targets 86% of your muscles as Olympians guide you from incredible locations worldwide.

Speaker 8 Running can't compete. That's why 90% stick with hydro a year later.
GQ named the the Hydro Arc the best rower of 2025. And every hydro comes with free shipping, a 30-day trial, and warranty.

Speaker 8 Go to hydro.com code fit and save up to 600 bucks on your next hydro. Hydro.com code fit.

Speaker 7 Ready to level up? Chumba Casino is your playbook to fun. It's free to play with no purchase necessary.
Enjoy hundreds of online social games like Blackjack, Slots, and Solitaire.

Speaker 7 Anytime, anywhere, with fresh releases every week, whether you are at home or on the go. Let Chumba Chumba Casino bring the excitement to you.

Speaker 7 Plus, get free daily login bonuses and a free welcome bonus. Join now for your chance to redeem some serious prizes.
Play Chumba Casino today.

Speaker 7 No purchase necessary, VGW Group, Voidboard, Prohibited by Law 21 Plus, TNCs Apply.

Speaker 2 If you got a softie in your brain, you're gonna have a softie in your pants. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 9 As a raider scavenging a derelict world, you settle into an underground settlement.

Speaker 9 But now you must return to the surface,

Speaker 9 where arc machines roam.

Speaker 9 If you're brave enough, who knows what you might find? Arc Raiders, a multiplayer extraction adventure video game. Buy now for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and S, and PC.
Rated T for Team.