Fare Thee Well TCB!

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And thank you to Liquid IV for being a sponsor of the commercial break. This episode is sponsored by Discover.
If there's one thing we've learned from the entertainment industry, it's just how easy it is to earn a reputation, even if it doesn't reflect who you really are. For example, everyone thinks

that Discover is a card that isn't widely accepted, but in reality, it's accepted at 99% of places

that take credit cards nationwide. Yeah, 99%.
So maybe now you'll think twice before judging a book

by its cover, unless it's a celebrity cookbook. In that case, judge away.
Based on the February

2024 Nielsen report, learn more at discover.com slash credit card. When I came home last night, you wouldn't make love to me.
You feel fast asleep. You wouldn't even talk to me.
You said, I'm so crazy. You said, I'm so crazy, girl.
Coming home intoxicated. Give it up, girl.
I can make you feel all right. Come on, then.
Give it to me, baby. Give it up, girl.
Give it to me, baby. Give it to me.
Give me that stuff, that funk, funk that sweet that funky stuff on this episode of the commercial break the eagles also have done six farewell tours and yet they have yet to say farewell i know i don't know why anybody says it anymore don't say it don't say it just say for a sayonara for now, right? We're leaving for now. World, we might be gone.
Yeah. Might want to check us out again.
Hey, listen, this is the Commercial Breaks farewell show for all I know. Could be the Commercial Breaks farewell show.
As a matter of fact, consider every episode from now on. Tune in to the next episode because that's our farewell.
When will that happen? I don't know. Tomorrow? Maybe.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Ah, yeah, Cass and kittens.
Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green.
This is the Musk to my Sanders. Kristen Joy Hodley.
Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us.
Just want to shout out to Andrew Callahan, Channel 5 News, Dear Kelly, the new documentary that has been self-produced, directed, and funded by Channel 5 and Andrew's media company. Go check that episode out Tuesday, the Tuesday infomercial.
A lot of positive feedback about that conversation. I enjoyed that interview.
Yeah, I asked some of our listeners ahead of time. I just sent them a quick note, like, hey, you know, I know we don't normally talk about politics, but if I was to have an interesting conversation, not specifically bashing one politician or another, but just about how people get – The landscape.
The landscape and how people fall into extremism and kind of the closely or the hotly divided country that we have right now,

would you be interested in that conversation?

And most people said yes.

And a few people said, eh, not really interested in all that.

But all the feedback was positive.

And they said, Andrew did a good job.

We did a good job of keeping away from the bashing and just having a conversation about the nature of our culture in 2025.

So please go listen to that episode and then check out Andrew's documentary. You can go to his Patreon page, unlock that Dear Kelly.
Support independent journalism for sure, for sure, for sure. Okay, the New Orleans Super Bowl right around the corner.
Chrissy, the football team against another football team. Can't wait.
Super excited. Taylor Swift team versus the um people who shoot each other after

they win so it's the eagles versus the chiefs the chiefs in the super bowl for the third time in as many years could they could they do it could they be the only team in history to win three super bowls in a row no one knows and very few fucking care but i will say this it is now it is now the least expensive Super Bowl ticket in a decade.

Inflation adjusted in a decade. So prices are dropping out.
The bottom is falling out of the prices. I just looked.
You can now get a ticket for $2,300, not bad seats. I would never pay $2,300 to see a sports event.
I almost paid $4,000 to go see the Cubs win the World Series. But that's the Cubs winning the World Series.
Sorry, that wasn't a bomb. That was just my phone.
You drop that every time. I do.
It's now part of the show. Blue and my phone dropping on the floor in this echo chamber.
I don't know what it is about this table. I got to figure it out.
Maybe I should have bought an actual table that wasn't $32 on Wayfair.

No offense against Wayfair.

Wayfair is great.

I've gotten some good stuff in there.

But it was really heavy.

I felt like, oh, when you look and it says it weighs 62 pounds, I thought to myself, great.

It's solid piece of wood.

It is absolutely hollow in every sense of the word.

And so everything that happens in this house now gets echoed through the table into the microphone. I think the top part's solid.
So sorry. Yeah.
There we go. There's a little annoyance for you in your morning drive there.
But that is interesting. I know.
I was thinking about that this morning when I saw that too. I was wondering if the fact that it's in New Orleans has anything to do with it.
I don't know. I wonder why.
I think you're on to something there. I don't know.
Last year, Las Vegas, ticket prices were through the roof, almost double. The cheapest ticket was about $5,000.
And some experts that I read this morning said New Orleans has a lot to do with it because New Orleans, first of all, has far fewer hotel rooms. So the hotel rooms are terribly expensive.
Oh, right. I can see that.
Um, it's, you you know the cost to travel down there is much is is more expensive the cost to travel and stay there and then some people think that you know new orleans just had a terrible incident occur maybe some people are shying away from going to new orleans specifically uh and then some people speculated trump announced he's going to go to the game and some people speculated that that is not a positive for ticket sales that is a negative not because people don't like trump that might be the truth too but because trump has been a target uh and they worry about safety who knows if any of that's true it's all speculation i'm sure and i love new orleans it's one of my favorite towns yeah maybe me too by the way by the way loved Astrid, not the biggest fan of it. I can't wear sandals in New Orleans because of the New Orleans soup, the street soup.
I can't. You know, you don't want to have anything to do with that.
So not my favorite footwear city, but I love it. I think it's a beautiful city.
I love it. I've been going for years.
Yeah. I've got friends that live there.
The people are nice. And listen, Bourbon Street is not the street I go down at my age.
No. It's just not.
I mean, you go down just to see shit. Yeah.
There's so many other parts. Oh, yeah.
I've got friends that live there. The people are nice.
And listen, Bourbon Street is not the street I go down at my age. It's just not.
I mean, you go down just to see shit. Yeah, there's so many other parts.
Oh, yeah. It's got soul.
Bourbon Street is like the cheesecake factory of booze streets. Do you know what I'm saying? It's the main, yeah.
Yeah, it's bright. It's shiny.
It has a thousand items on the menu. You know, all of them include a shit ton of cheap alcohol that's going to give you a headache.
That's what you do when you're a frat boy or you go down for the first time. Or Mardi Gras.
I can see you going down Bourbon Street for Mardi Gras because, of course, that's where a lot of the action happens. But that's not my favorite part of town.
There are many other places in New Orleans that are just as fun and wonderful. And Frenchman Street.
Frenchmanman street the garden district i remember i went down to new orleans for jazz fest yes and many times one night we went over to i think it was frenchman street am i right about that am i saying that right is that the right street yeah that's right and there was you know it's kind of a place where some retail and some houses are mixed together, like most places in New Orleans, down there in the district. And there were house parties going on.
Oh, yeah. Where live music was playing out of the open windows.
And you just walk in and out of some of these houses. Yeah.
It was amazing. It was just the best.
It was so much fun. And there's lots of drugs and alcohol down there.
So at a certain part in my life, New Orleans was like, you know, that was like a mecca. I'd much rather go to it.
It's just got so much soul to me. Oh, yeah.
It's old. History, the soul of it.
Yeah. It's old.
Music, food. The food's incredible.
They have a piano down there that's twice my age. Do you know what I'm saying? They have a piano at one of those bars that's twice as old as I am.
It's been there twice as long as I have been on earth. And yeah, it's just there's so much going on down in New Orleans at any given time.
It's a big city. It's got big city problems.
You certainly have to mind your P's and Q's down there. Like don't take cab rides from a gypsy cab driver with a gun in his, a gun in his.
Right. Learn from Uncle Brian.
Learn from Uncle Brian. Take these sanctioned cabs.
So we did get from point A to point B safely. I'm pretty sure it's because someone had a panic attack in the car.
And the guy was like, rather than rob you, I'm going to drop you off because I don't want to be bothered by anybody. These white people bothering me.
I'm getting out of here. So but the ticket prices dropping is, is I think an indication also that people are

a little bit nervous about the economy, you know, like who's going to go spend $5,000

just for you and a buddy to go see, unless you're like a diehard Eagles or Chiefs fan,

you can watch it on TV.

Let's all be honest.

The best thing about the Superbowl is the fucking commercials.

That's what we want to see.

And who's doing the halftime show? Is it? Nelly? No. Is it Kendrick Lamar? It's Kendrick Lamar.
Yeah. Kendrick Lamar.
Okay. All right.
There you go. Yeah.
I'm looking forward to that. Uh-huh.
So, yeah. Okay.
Another sports-related thing that I want to talk to you, piggy front on, is you see Marcus Jordan? Michael Jordan's son, got arrested for cocaine, leaving the scene of an accident, got stuck on a rail, you know, like two rail ties in his Lamborghini. Yeah, the railroad, yeah.
Yeah. His Lamborghini SUV.
Oh, it's an SUV. Oh, because, why not? Spend an extra $50,000 on a Lamborghini.
That's insane to me. Listen, I knew Michael Jordan had children, but I had no idea about any of those children.
They've done a good job. I had no idea that Marcus Jordan...
Well, you don't watch The Housewives then. Oh, The Real Housewives? He's on The Real Housewives of something? Oh, yeah.
Miami. He dated Larsa Pippin, who is Scotty Pippin's ex-wife.wife.
And it was a big deal. You know, there's a huge age difference.
And Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen had a big rivalry. So it was kind of a big deal.
No, no, no, no, no. Hold on.
Yeah, you didn't know about this? I grew up in the age of Michael Jordan in Chicago. Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan were like wonder twins.
They were so good with each other and for each other on the basketball court. And I realized there may have been some friction that Michael Jordan got all of the attention and Scottie Pippen was...
Michael Jordan isn't Michael Jordan without Scottie Pippen, right? But his ex-wife was screwing Michael Jordan's son? Oh, yeah. They did it for like a good year, maybe longer.
No way. It was all over the housewives.
That's a twisted affair. Yeah.
That is a twisted affair. I know.
Wow. That's the kind of drama that like usurps even real housewives drama bullshit.
Yeah, they had like a podcast together and stuff like that. They had a podcast together? Scotty Pippen's ex-wife and Michael Jordan's son? Uh-huh.
What's the age difference there? she's 50 and he's 36 okay so there you go wow no shit yeah well that's one way to get back at your uh that's one way to get back yeah he was on the show and everything that's one way to get back at your ex could you imagine fucking your yeah long time co-worker slash friend's ex-wife or son? That is unbelievable drama. Wow.
Okay, so the guy is known. Well, I don't watch Real Housewives, so I would not have known this.
I knew that Michael Jordan had kids, but I had no idea who any of those children were until I started reading the headlines that Marcus Jordan was arrested for cocaine. He had cocaine in his pocket and he was drunk and he fled the scene of an accident when cops were trying to pull him over and got his uh labrighini suv stuck on a train crossing essentially this just befuddles me this befuddles me to no end that if if you can afford a Lamborghini.
Lamborghini. A Lamborghini.
I'll let you get away with it for a couple of times. Lamborghini.
A Lamborghini. It's a Lamborghini.
It's a Labradoodle mixed with a Lamborghini. They're delicious.
You can have them for breakfast. Yes, they're a new breed.
They they're so cute they honk instead of bark

the lamborghini suv yes coming in at i don't know half a million dollars yes half a million fucking dollars you can't afford a driver you can't afford someone crazy yes to get in that seat and get in that driver's seat

sober, you could pay me

$30

and an In-N-Out burger And afford someone to get in that seat and get in that driver's seat sober.

You could pay me $30 and an In-N-Out burger, and I would stay with you all night long drinking water just to make sure that you got home safely. That would be enough for me.
And by the way, there's plenty of those people out there. They're called Uber drivers.
They will do it for you for very little money. How you get into a car being michael jordan's son being a famous person yourself after getting smashed leaving the scene of an accident cocaine in your pocket with cocaine in your pockets do what everybody else does have somebody else drive you if you have cocaine in your pocket that's what i did all the time i refused to drive if i had cocaine in my pocket you want to know why because you're just adding insult to injury it's it's just stupid it's stupid don't do that marcus come on you're already fucking your best friend co-worker ex-wife like just and doesn't your dad talk some sense into you doesn't that daddy yours say hey son don't fuck up while you're fucking up? And where did he get the Labrighini SUV? Where did he get it? Is that Michael Jordan's money or is that Marcus's money? What does Marcus do? Well, according to whatever I saw in The Housewives, he does have a lot of business ventures that he does on his own.
A lot of business ventures, quote unquote. We'll find that out.
Yeah, I know a million of these people. I got business ventures.
That's me. That's Brian.
I got business ventures. I got a podcast.
I'm an entrepreneur. I got a podcast.
I'm a producer. I'm making a movie.
I'm an actor. I'm an actress.
I'm in real estate. I'm in MLMs.
I sell essential oils for a living. I got lots of entrepreneur things going on.
Yeah, that sounds very nebulous to me. And I know a lot of these people.
Atlanta is full of people who have jobs that they never had. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes.
They will tell you, you know, it's like, hey, what do you do? Oh, man, I got a lot of irons in the fire right now. I'm a producer on this movie.
I'm making this new album with a friend of mine. I got a podcast and a vodcast.
I'm an influencer in the wild. I also have a talent management company.
If you ever want me to take 10% of your money for no reason. They have all of these job descriptions, but they do none of them.
They actually do none of them. Atlanta is...
A little bit of this. A little bit of this.
You want to live in Atlanta? Make up your own title. Wa-bam! You're in Atlanta.
Wa-bam! Producer. Producer.
That's it. So many people in Atlanta are producers.
We're all producers. What are we producing? I don't know.
It's like this is the kingdom of the non-existent job here in Atlanta. Now, everybody seems to have money, but no one can tell you exactly what they do because they're renting the fancy car.
I was going to say, I think the rental business here in Atlanta has got to be huge. Booming.
I see... Cars, homes, jewelry, all of it.
I'm sure like a lot of different places, like many different places in the United States of America, Atlanta is like the glowing metropolis full of $250,000 cars. You can be driving anywhere in Atlanta and see an extraordinarily expensive car every five minutes.
It's just the way that it works. But how do all of these people have all of this money? Where did it come from? I don't think it exists i think you're right i think where it

exists is on the rental lot the guy who actually bought the car and is renting it to you that's what happens i mean i just was reading an article about this kid who uh gained like half a million followers in three months and it was an expose that's really not surprising to anybody the kid said he had a lot.

It was like his Instagram

was full of shots

of him holding,

you know,

taking a lot.

It was like his Instagram was full of shots of him holding, you know, tens of thousands of dollars in cash.

Gold bars.

Gold chains.

You know, million-dollar shoes.

Driving around.

Labrighinis.

It's got a tailpipe.

They're so cute.

You could get them in red or yellow. I love it.
Make sure to take them for an oil change. He's got all this, like his Instagram was just full.
And this kid is like 19 years old. Full of multi-million.
I mean, the posts themselves were worth multi-million dollars. You know what I'm saying? They just looked like they're dripping in gold.
And the expose was done by this investigative reporter, quote unquote, on Instagram, to find out that this kid— Arrival. This kid had none of it.
None of it was true. All the cash was borrowed.
All the shoes were rented out from someplace. The cars were not his.
The plane that he claimed was his was not. He claimed he had a private plane.
But in doing the investigation, the guy realized that the plane that he was taking a shot standing outside of was not the same plane that he was taking a shot standing inside of. It's just all manufactured.
And I feel like Atlanta, while I love this city, I love it to death. And I know there's a lot of money in Atlanta.
Oh, yeah, there is. A lot of real money in Atlanta.
This is a place where you can make things happen. It's a lovely city.
But there's just too many $250,000 cows out there on the street for me to believe that everyone is making that kind of money. Yeah.
It's like a rat race. It's keeping up with to do it.
Yeah, how does it look? Yeah, how do you look? That's right. Fake it till you make it.
Isn't that guy, that real estate, late night TV, real estate seminar guy? We reviewed him one, like Joe Kwan or whatever his name was. Joe Kwan, he made that up.
Look like a million dollars till you make a million dollars. And that couldn't be works.
Sometimes it does. Most times it doesn't.
Dude, when I worked for Scam Coal FM. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, which was also, you know, pretend like you have money and you have none. And housewives adjacent.
All of it. Yeah, it was so, it's where I realized that the housewives of Atlanta were neither housewives or lived in Atlanta, and none of them had money.
It was all just a facade, essentially. No knock on Nene Leakes.
You know, I think she's done great for herself. No, I love all of them.
Yeah. But they just showed these women in fantastic and spectacular riches, and almost none of it was true.
And how did I know that? Because I became embedded, I got like thrown into the middle of this group of ladies who was either on the housewives or adjacent to the housewives. None of them bad human beings, all of them very nice, but you realize that it's a paper tiger.
You poke it and it breaks, right? And same with the guy who ran the place, Simon Guabadia is like the biggest paper tiger of them all. Well, who's now getting divorced from Portia.
Oh, really? Yes. Well, fill me in on that one.
I do love me some Simon Guabadia drama. You might have to watch The Housewives this spring.
I can't do it. I can't watch Simon.
Yeah, I can't watch Simon. I don't know if he's a big part.
They kicked him back to Africa, I think. They took his visa because he said he was someone else all to get there.
Exactly. Once again.
Yeah. And then he went to – fucking phone.
I think the story goes is that he said he was someone else, lied on his visa application, and then when they caught him, then he sued the government because he said that they kicked him out on fraudulent terms or whatever. Yeah.
I mean mean the guy has been a joke for a long time and it doesn't surprise me that portia has portia has eventually caught on yes she did so she she's back on the housewives this season it starts in march okay so um i i think you should watch it but i can also be your uh liaison be my liaison because i don't think i could swallow another episode of another season of the real housewives of atlanta but story so these so this girl comes in with this guy this guy claims to be a big time music producer that he's working on all of these albums with these people that i had never heard of this is when you were working when i was working there yes couple nights later we're at the bar that simon said he owned but never owned we're at that bar and then this guy and so he says let's take it back to my house take it back to my crib and we're like okay he we go to his crib it's like me him and this other person crib his crib there there isn't even a crib on the floor there is zero furniture in the place and he was driving around a Maybach. And I was like, did you just move in here? He's like, no, I've been here for about a year.
I'm switching furniture up. I'm switching furniture up.
He had a blow up mattress in the corner. It didn't look like he was switching furniture up.
It looked like the furniture had never arrived ever. There hadn't been a, the rug didn't have any indentations in it.
You know what I'm it was just so manufactured and i was like wow dude you're driving around 150 000 200 000 car and you do not have a couch to sit on no knock in your game i know that's probably you probably get you know lots of action that way but it was just mysterious and magical to me about how, like, I don't know, how magical thinking this all was. And who knows if the Maybach was even his, or even real.
Maybe he made that up on, maybe he put that nice Mercedes-Benz Maybach symbol on his Toyota. Maybe that's what happened.
The TCB will never pretend to have money because we'll probably never have any. And we're still looking for that airplane.
One engine, we don't care. If it can get up 100 feet in the air, we'll take it.
Make sure you send inquiries to TCBpodcast.com. Let's take a break.
We'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done.
Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at thecommercialbreak Text or call us 212-433-3TCB.
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It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters.

See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome. This episode is sponsored by one of our favorites, Squarespace.
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I was playing a game with my kids the other night. Let's play in a game.
Sometimes we like to have a dance party. Oh, I love dance parties.
Yeah. And so the little game is,

is that everyone picks a song and then they go up,

they,

they are on stage,

quote unquote,

right.

And they do their dancing.

And then I judge the contest,

right.

I say,

okay,

you get a five for this or a 10 for that.

I'm really pretty a harsh judge.

I'm like the Simon Cowell of dads.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm like,

what was that?

That was awful.

You sound disgusting.

Sound, you sound like a dead horse. I don't sound like a British person either.
What is that voice, Brian? So one of my kids was singing September, which is in the Trolls movie. You know, body out, dancing in September.
Body out, dancing to remember. Yeah.
So my kid was going, body down, dancing on September september body down now he's a kid like he mishears you know we have all of us we're just making stuff up i don't even you know i don't even know you could put that sentence together in real life let alone while he's singing it so he's just singing what he knows and so i tried to tell him i said no that the lyrics are body da right abouty da however you say that and i don't even know the lyrics it's is it abouty da i don't know abouty da uh it's originally earth wind and fire right yeah that's that's the version we were listening to it's in the trolls movie so that's why you know they like it's september hold on one second while we get this right. Here it is.
Yeah, it's body-yah. Body-yah.
Body-yah. It was close.
Sadie, yeah. Okay, body down, body-yah.
And it got me thinking, what are some of the most famous misheard lyrics? Because we do this all the time. It's a pretty common thing that we hear something that's not really there because of the way or the inflection or the accent in the artist's voice we just don't get it right now it's pretty all pretty easy because you got spotify saying those lyrics to you back in the day you would have to open up your tape case cover and get to the bottom of the lyrics and that is if if the artist was generous enough to put the lyrics in there.
Yeah, it wasn't always on there. That's right.
Nothing pissed me off more than getting a brand new CD or tape to find out that there was zero information on the inside except for who the fucking engineer was. I don't care.
I want to know what you said in that fucking song. Yes.
Yes. Thank you, Chrissy.
It should be mandatory. it should be mandatory mandatory minimum so let's go through some of the 40 of the top miss heard 40 popular miss yard lyrics okay what do you think and then i'll i'd love to do that and then i'll get the end i'll give you one that's a family favorite in my family let's start off with that well my sister she was younger, used to think that, you know, that song, every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you.
But she thought it said meat. Every time you go, you take a piece of meat with you? Yes.
She was like, why do they say that? Yes, that is Brian, because he's poor. Every time he goes away, he takes some extra meat with him.
That was you for like a string of months when you were doing the carnivore diet. When I was doing the carnivore diet, there was no meat was safe in my house because I was so ravenously hungry because there were zero carbs in my body.
Astrid was just feeding me steak. You have steak, bacon, all bacon, all this stuff.
It's so expensive. Steak, bacon.

I didn't care.

If it was alive, I was killing it and eating it.

And to be honest with you, I lost a bunch of weight, but I lost too much weight.

Like it went quick. Yeah, you were really thin.

It melted off me and it went quick.

So I went back to cream and cereal.

I went back to cream and cereal after my parathyroid got taken out.

I figured, hey, I get back to calcium. I need to build my bones back up.
Okay, ready? Here we go. As stated by goodhousekeeping.com.
Oh, good housekeeping. They're also the ones that gave us the Christmas list.
Oh, yeah. That's right.
You're right. I think we had a Harper's Bazaar one in there, too.
I don't know. Anyway, here we go.
Ready? Okay. Dancing Queen by Abba.
We all know Dancing Queen. Feel the beat of the tangerine.
I've never heard that in the lyrics. No.
Is that what it is? It's the tangerine? Tambourine. Yeah, thank you, Tina, because Good Housekeeping here didn't bother to put the real lyric in there.
They're just telling us the Miss Herd lyric. We're going to have to figure it out on our own.
All right, Losing My Religion by R.E.M. Let's pee in the corner.
Let's pee in the spot. Life amazing.
Yeah, that's me in the corner. How did you get that one wrong? I know.
What dum-dums are listening to that song? By the way, I saw a video with Michael Stipe, and the guy who was doing the video played Michael the original audio that was used for Losing My Religion, the isolated track of his voice. And Michael Stipe started crying when he heard himself in that isolated track.
And the guy was like, what's getting emotional about that he's like it's just so raw yeah and so emotional yeah and i was so young i realized it makes me think about how much time has passed since he's gone michael steif's getting up there in age for sure do you remember like total side note that rem signed the biggest record contract in history at the time it was like 150 million dollars for five albums with warner brothers music or whatever it was universal warner brothers music and they never had another hit song after that they didn't they didn't they didn't have one hit song after that like it was a it was not a good deal for warner brothers now if they bought the whole catalog, then I could understand. There's still a classic band.
Yeah, of course. From Athens, Georgia.
You're the one that I want. You're the one that I want.
Ooh, ooh, ooh. I've got shoes.
They're made of plywood. Oh, I've got chills.
I've got chills. They're multiplying.
They're multiplying. That's not even close.
No. Who are these people who are mishearing this? Good For You by Selena Gomez, which I don't know the original song.
Do you? No. It says, I'm farting carrots.
That can't be it, obviously. What the real lyric is, I'm 14 carrots.
I'm 14 carrots. 14 carrots.
Monster by Eminem and Rihanna. It says, I'm friends with the mustard that's under my bed.
But of course, the real lyric is, I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed. In sync, it's gonna be May.
And people think it's they're saying, it's gonna be May. May.
May. The month.
I mean, I realize that NSYNC was not exactly, you know, they weren't, I don't know, it wasn't Shakespeare. But why would they write a lyric called, it's going to be May? Yeah.
If you just think about that for one second. Old Town Road by Lil Nas.
Oh, yeah, Old Town Road. I'm gonna take my horse to the hotel room.

I'm gonna ride

till I can't no more.

I'm in the hotel room.

Actually, I think I did think

it said that.

I don't know what the...

I'm gonna take my horse

to the Old Town Road.

Old Town Road, yeah.

That was a good song.

Stir It Up by Bob Marley,

which is a fantastic song. Stir it up.
Stir it up. Little darling.
Little darling. Stir it up.
People think he's saying cereal. Little darling.
Cereal. No.
Yeah. How good housekeeping.
Where are they getting this? I think good housekeeping is making this up on their own. Or this is an AI product.
Right. Because who thinks he's saying cereal? No.
He was a stoner. But I don't think he's saying stir up your cereal.
I think Bob is a bit deeper than that. We will rock you by queen.
I can understand this one. Buddy, you're an old man, hard man, living on a band, gonna be a big man someday you got mud on your face big disgrace kicking your cat all over the place it's kicking your can all over the place and i think the original lyric was actually kicking your ass all over the place but i think the record company said no no no no uh blowing in the wind by bob d, the 17-minute diatribe.
And my friends, my friends are blowing. These ants, my friend, are blowing in the wind.
These ants are blowing in the wind. Definitely not ants.
Of course, it's these answers, my friend, are blowing through the wind. Royals by Lord.
That was a good song. Yeah, it is.
You Can Call Me Bean. I don't know which part of the song this comes in, but she says, you can call me, or you can call me Green Bean.
She says, you can call me Queen Bee. Queen Bee.
Yeah, that makes more sense. Hold Me Close, My Tiner Dancer by Elton John.
Oh, yeah, that's one that's been on the list. Of course, yeah.
Hold me close, my Tony Danza. That's always on the list.
I guess that's not a far-fetch. I mean, you know, Elton's a man with certain acquired tastes.
Who doesn't like a... Who didn't like Tony Danza in the 80s for five minutes? Tony Danza for five minutes in the 80s was just your regular old Joe guy that everyone could kind of, you know.
Well, he was the housekeeper of the house on Who's the Boss. Oh, that's right.
Yeah. I forgot that he was the housekeeper in that show.
Very forward for that time. How long did Who's the Boss stay on? It was on for a long time.
I mean, I remember growing up with it. It had to be...
Alyssa Milano. Oh, yeah.
Tony Danza. Who was one of my first crushes.
Judith Light. Judith Light, that's right.
That was who played the career mom. Wasn't there a guy in there too? Danny Masterson? Why not Danny Masterson? That he was in a different...
Danny Masterson is a guy that's in jail currently. Yeah, he was that 70s show.
I forgot. I forgot who the kid was.
Waterfalls by TLC. Go, go, Jason Waterfalls.
Go, go, Jason Waterfalls. No.
Don't go chasing. Chasing Waterfalls.
Blank Space by Taylor Swift. Got a lot of Starbucks lovers.
Okay, Stared lovers, obviously. Starbucks lovers.

What in the good fuck is going on there?

Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys.

Great one.

Yep.

Concrete jungle, wet dream tomato.

No.

Wet dream tomato.

Where dreams are made of.

I'm calling your bullshit on this.

I think it is an AI thing.

This must be AI because who in the world is saying concrete jungle wet dream tomato it doesn't even come close to sounding like that uh baby baby by amy grant don't know that song gonna move on genie in a bottle by christina aguilera um come come come and let me meow, come, and let me meow. No.
I don't even remember that part of the song. Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix.
This one is a very frequently misheard lyric. Excuse me while I kiss this guy.
But it's excuse me while I kiss the sky. Message in a bottle by the police.
A year has passed since I broke my nose. That's funny.
A year has passed since I wrote my notes, since I wrote this note. Humans by the killers.
Are we human or are we denser? Denser. D-E-N-S-E-R.
What is denser? It's dancer. Denser, like dense, like thicker.
So stupid. Oh, God.
How about Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi? Whoa, living on a prayer doesn't make a difference if we're naked or not. If we make it or not.

I like the naked or not.

Yeah, actually, I could go with that.

I could, too.

Last time we saw Bon Jovi, he wasn't doing so hot.

Do you remember a couple years ago when we reviewed Bon Jovi doing a live concert?

Yeah.

And it was just like his voice was extraordinarily torn up.

He couldn't hit a note to save his life.

No, he had a real problem.

He had a real problem.

So I forgive him. I don't think I've ever apologized.
I do a lot of apologizing on this show in case you're just joining us. So here's yet another apology on behalf of Brian.
I'm sorry. Straight to Bon Jovi.
Yeah, straight to Bon Jovi. I thought you were just being bad at singing.
But apparently you had a throat issue. So there you go.
Lucy in the sky with diamonds. The girl with kaleidoscope.
The girl with kaleidoscope goes by.

Oh, kaleidoscope.

It's the girl with the kaleidoscope eyes.

Kaleidos?

Really?

Yes.

This is definitely AI.

Why would they run this with AI like this?

I mean, I guess AI is taking over the world.

Bad Moon Rising by Credence.

There's a bathroom on the right. There's a bathroom on the right.
That's a good one. I'm using that one next time I hear that song.
Like a virgin, McDonald. Like a virgin, touched for the 31st time.
Oh, what? Like a virgin. The 31st time.
My name is Bonnie, Bonnie Blue. Bonnie Blue.
Running Down a Dream by Tom Petty. Running down a drain.
That could be my theme song for the other day. uh do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do

do

do

do

do Running down a drain. That could be my theme song for the other day.

Some of these I don't know.

So Rock the Casbah by The Clash.

Rock the cat box.

Rock the cat box if you really don't.

Wait.

Shari don't like it.

Rock the Casbah.

And it's not she really don't like it. It's Sharia don't like it.
We casbah and it's not she really don't like it it's sharia don't like it we're talking about sharia law paradise city by guns and roses take me down to a very nice city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty take me down it's the fucking name of the song yeah paradise city you dum-dums. Panama by

Van Halen. Panama.

Animal. Animal.

It's the name of the

fucking song. Although

I see why it's easy to get confused because

of the way that he sings it.

Let's see. Paradise by

Coldplay. Don't know that one.
Smells

Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. Now,

if you have a muddle mouth full of rocks,

then I can understand why it might be hard to understand

some of your lyrics. And it wasn't like

Thank you. Play don't know that one.
Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. Now, if you have a muddle mouth full of rocks, then I can understand why it might be hard to understand some of your lyrics.
And it wasn't like Kurt was always singing so crisp and clearly, right? I'm a lion. I'm a vinyl.
I'm a skittle. I'm a beetle.
Yeah, you're right, though. I think at the time when that song first came out, I did not know what he was saying.

A mulatto.

An albino.

A mosquito.

My libido.

That's right.

Yeah.

I'm a believer by the monkeys.

Then I saw her face. Now I'm going to leave her.

That's awesome. Now I saw her face.
And I'm going gonna leave her Nah That's awesome And now I saw her face And I'm gonna leave her That's a song for an ugly girl Again, the name of the song Yes, that's the Oh yeah, that's true It's the name of the fucking song I'm a believer Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams Great song Yeah, I loved that at the time. I got my first real sex dream.
But that doesn't make sense with the next part. Bought it at the five and dime.
Bought it at the five and dime. Blinded by the light.
That's a hard one. That's a hard one.
Well, yeah. Wrapped up like a douche.
Wrapped up like a douche, another roamer in the night, blinded by the light.

It's deuce.

It's revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.

But he clearly says douche in there.

It sounds like it.

It must be.

I think he slyly put that in there because I've listened to that song so many times

for the purpose of trying to figure out if he's actually saying douche. I went through this exercise one night high, and I listened to that song so many times for the purpose of trying to figure out if he's actually saying douche i did this like i went through this exercise one night high and i listened to that

song i must have been 20 times in a row he says the word douche even though it's douche he says

douche clearly he says clearly um and one more for uh shits and giggles hold on one second

there was one more that i wanted to do here T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T- where she says and you say go slow? My kids to this day swear she says and you say coleslaw. And you, coleslaw.
Yeah, it's whatever you hear at the time, you know. Listen, this is a fun game.
I've played this a lot in my life. It's a fun game, misheard lyrics.
And, you know, we all interpret things the way that we interpret them. And to be fair, like, artistry is artistry, and lyric writing is not always straightforward.
So there's a lot of people. I mean, you want a fun game? Find someone that has never read a lyric for Pearl Jam and see if they can figure out Yellow Leadbetter, Black, Jeremy, Alive, any of the early works of Eddie Vedder and see if they can understand anything that he sang.
I misheard those lyrics. I made them up in my head.
I loved Pearl Jam from the moment I heard them. And I made up so many lyrics to a live,

even flow. Yeah, you had to.
Yeah. Freezing! Rather see you sleeping with a guy named Billy.

It's rather see you slipping on a pillow made of concrete. Okay.
All right. Let's take a break,

and then we Contact Us page. You can also find the entire Commercial Break library, audio and and video just in case you want to look at chrissy at tcbpodcast.com want your voice to be on an episode of the show leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB that's 212-433-3822 tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode or you You could make fun of us.
That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe.
Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text.
We'll respond. Now, I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break.
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That's H-A-R-i-m-a-r-i.com all right well speaking of music news a couple of old geezer things i think i should take care of first of all the eagles i think are in the middle of their run over there in the sphere and uh yeah and so i think they played 25 shows and then announced that they were doing some more shows. So I saw some footage of it.
Listen, I like the Eagles. OK, like it's not my favorite band in the world.
It's not the worst band in the world. I think Don Henley did some better work than the Eagles ever did.
But anyway, I regress. To me, like I saw some of the footage.
It's I don't know that the Eagles are the right band to have at the sphere. Like I'm like, okay, you could make any imagery at the Sphere, I'm sure, for the Sphere.
And people would pay to see it to any music because it's just such a marvel of technology. It really is beautiful.
But I just don't think the Eagles... There's only so much Hotel California.
Yeah, there's only so many Hotel California. There's only so many images you can put to Hotel California before you're just stretching to make something fit there.

There are so many other bands that I think would be great there. Have David Gilmore play there.
Have Roger Waters do his version of The Wall, like his very faithful version of The Wall. Have him do that.
And I know they've got to be talking to some of these people. They have to be.
and I would imagine

that if you do something

like the wall of the sphere

it's got to take

an immense amount of time

to put all of that

imagery together

but got to be talking to some of these people they have to be and i would imagine that if you do something like the wall at the sphere it's got to take an immense amount of time to put all of that imagery together but that's one i would pay to see a lot of money on and i would take a lot of lsd i'm just saying that right out front ayahuasca pink floyd the wall put a reunion together put a reunion together for pink floyd the wall get david gilmore and roger waters to stop bitching at each other get them in a room together and have them play that fucking wall and that's what i would pay five thousand dollars to see hands down all day of the week wouldn't you yes i would love to see that but i just don't know about the eagle i'm sorry let me to bash on the eagles but you know i said the same thing because you know i went out there to go see the dead and that was awesome and then Eagles. Yeah.
And I was like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know what they're going to do for that.
Especially compared to the Grateful Dead. And there was that, you know, the New Year's show that went down with that EDM guy.
Oh, yeah. Anorax.
Anima. Anima.
A-N-Y-M-A. However you want to pronounce that.
Listen, those visuals were stunning.

I watched so many videos on that.

I went down a rabbit hole and I was like, holy shit, that is so good.

Those visuals were stunning.

On Instagram, they were stunning.

Like on this tiny little screen, they were stunning.

And I can only imagine what it was like to be there.

And I had never, ever in my life ever heard of this human being. But he filled the place, I think, two nights in a row.
Oh, yeah. He's coming back, too.
Oh, he is? They're bringing him back. Listen, fish, Grateful Dead, you know, goose, geese, gossards.
I don't know. All the geese and goose bands that are out there.
All these, like, jam bands that have visuals and light shows as a part of the kind of the nomenclature of what goes on on and on every show those are the people i think that could be filling the sphere with really cool opportunities to embed those visuals further into their fans minds the eagles were never known for their visuals i don't remember don henley ever being the guy who you would be like, hey, let's take some mushrooms and go see Don Henley. It just doesn't make sense.
I don't know. To me, it doesn't make sense.
Yeah, there are some bands it just doesn't make sense for. I'd take Skinny John Popper before I went and saw the Eagles.
You know what I'm saying? Skinny John Popper, Blues Traveler. I would take them beforehand.
And where's Dave Matthews? Why isn't he getting in on all all this action even though he's not really known for his visuals either i could see dave matthews making something out of it right but yet i think the improv bands like fish it takes so much work to like hold yourself back from just going ape shit crazy like you would on any other show but apparently the fish run was amazing too so like jam bands don't like jam bands everybody can agree when we're on mushrooms that fish is okay yeah okay all right yeah i don't care who you are be you can complain about fish all day long take some mushrooms you like fish let me tell you a little story i have a daughter i have many daughters but i have one daughter's in specific specifically and she's a dancer and a twirler and a gymnast and the whole nine yards. Yes, she is.
She's using her body. She's aware of herself and the way that her body moves.
And she's very good at gymnastics and dancing and all this other stuff. So the other day, just on a lark, I played some live version of Fire on the Mountain.
Nice. And instantly, my daughter started spinning and twirling and noodling like a moron, like we all do when we hear that song, because now we're thrown back to 1963, topless, spinning around in our funny skirts and hula hoops.
It was amazing. I love that.
I played that music and it was almost like instinct. It was instinct.
It was like it was in her DNA to act like a fucking hippie the second I put on something hippie-ish. That's fantastic.
So we're having our dance party last night and it's her turn. And she says, play me fire on the mountain.
And I'm like, I created a fucking hippie. Yes.
God damn it. Now I know she's going to be sleeping with dreadheaded boys who don't have jobs and drive shitty cars without safety equipment.
It's all going to shit. It's all going to hell in a handbasket.
And she's like, four. She's four and she's doing the noodle.
It was insane. I swear to God.
I have a video of it. She just turned into a hippie the second she heard the song.
Crazy. Ozzy Osbourne is announcing, or Sharon is announcing, that Ozzy Osbourne, full stop, will have his last show at the one-day music fest.
That one day, that's last.ff and i like to say farewell to her maybe maybe

maybe it's my close to last show it's almost the last the last the last the last before the last listen we heard that about steven tyler too and then i see steven tyler's doing a uh this is really rich coming from steven tyler i i believe anything that helps anybody any kind of charity that's doing any kind of good is great news.

But he's got a charity called Janie's whatever. Janie says or Janie does or Janie whatever.
Based on the song, Janie's got a gun. A very famous song from the late 90s, early 2000s.
Late 90s. He now has a charity that helps young ladies in whatever capacity they help young ladies.
And so he's raising money for it. So I see Steven Tyler out there with all those scarves on that damn fucking microphone twirling and whirling around all different clubs in L.A.
with famous other people like the Robinson Brothers from Black Crows. And I think I saw Miley Cyrus up there.
And then he was doing – he was at the comedy club in L comedy store and he the people you know there were comedians and then there were also musicians and he got out there and sang a few songs i thought we got told that uh steve that aerosmith broke up because steven tyler didn't have a voice anymore and now he's out there acting like an idiot singing uh singing all these songs with everybody else i want an explanation full explanation from aerosmith as to why they really broke up do you remember i don't i want to remind you of this not that anyone cares this much about aerosmith anymore i certainly don't but i went through my arab i think we all went through our aerosmith face if you're of a certain age you remember pump and uh pump and uh pump you remember that album it was a big one every single song on that album was a runaway hit every single song so you remember that during the pandemic their drummer i think kramer is his last name joey kramer joey kramer got locked out of practice do you remember this they were practicing for an upcoming tour and he got locked out of the practice. And there was like some kind of person standing at the door saying, no, you're not allowed in.
And he was like, but I'm part of the band. And he's like, yeah, not anymore, dude.
So he basically got told when he showed up for practice. And they claimed that he was on painkillers and he couldn't do the job anymore or whatever.
That's rich coming from Steven Tyler. Isn't Stevenven tyler the one who left a 14 year old in a burning apartment so that no one would find out she was pregnant or something like that do you remember that story no i don't remember i think it's really it's been known that he's had lots of pill problems and as well as other drugs yes and no shame in that there's lots of people that have problem addiction problems there is i'm not shaming anybody with an addiction problem i'm saying it's a little rich that now he's got a charity that helps young women.
When he wasn't doing any of that back in the day, he was impregnating young women, not helping them. And now, Aerosmith's broken up, but not really.
They're broken up because of his voice, but his voice is still being used other places. There's something else going on there, and I want a full explanation right now.
As well as, is this Ozzybourne's really his last concert or is sharon just trying to sell tickets yeah both probably here's the thing about ozzy never the world's biggest ozzy osbourne fan musically musically not not my thing black sabbath wasn't my necessarily my thing he had that one song with that Lita Ford, remember? You told me lies, you told me lies,

I said, I I feel so rain. Mama, I'm coming home.
Do you remember that song? Okay. All right.
He had that one song. I like some Black Sabbath stuff, but yeah, it was never in my wheelhouse to pop on.
Sharon has taken control of his career. She always has been.
Yes. At some point in the 70s or 80s or whenever they got married.
She took over his career and she did wonderful things for the guy. She sobered him up.
She straightened him out. Although if anybody's ever seen any of the Osbournes, the television show, I think you would have a tough time arguing that Ozzy was sober.
But okay, let's make the assumption that he's on some medication for purposes. But she took over that career and she really helped him because he was a fucking hot mess.
Everybody needs a Sharon Osbourne in their life. But then Sharon has a way of making everything a little bit hyperbolic.
Do you know what I'm saying? She's always blowing everything up. I think this is the fifth time that Ozzy Osbourne is going to do his last concert.
He was on his last tour six years ago. He was going to make his last festival appearance three years ago.
He made his last television appearance two years ago. But none of them are in his last appearance.
But this time, she says, full stop, it's his last appearance. I doubt it.
We'll see. I think this is just, the Eagles also have done six farewell tours, and yet they have yet to say farewell.
I know. I don't know why anybody says it anymore.
Don't say it. Don't say it.
Just say sayonara for now, right? We're leaving for now. We might be gone.
Yeah. Might want to check us out again.
Hey, listen, this is the Commercial Breaks farewell show for all I know. Could be the Commercial Breaks farewell show.
As a matter of fact, consider every episode from now on. Tune in to the next episode because that's our farewell.
When will that happen? I don't know. Tomorrow? Maybe.
If I'm still around. If I'm not, I don't know.
If I'm not feeling good, maybe I don't do it. This is the Commercial Breaks absolute last show.
Forget it. We're not doing one tomorrow.
Until we show up tomorrow to do yet another one. Okay? Don't say that.
That's just silliness. We know you're just trying to sell tickets, Sharon.
We know that Ozzy's going to show up some. You're going to have to roll him out there to pay some bills at some point.
You're going to roll Ozzy out there and have him do a little thing. The guy's 78 years old.
This could very well be his farewell show. Unless then you see that guy that they're still rolling out there.
What's his name? Oh, Frankie Valli. Frankie Valli.
Frankie Valli is 117 years old. He is a robot.
He is literally has a mechanical head and mouth. And he is still going out there and singing live.
Is he really singing? I don't know. Some of it.
I think he's got auto-tune and a backing track, but I think he's trying to get some breath out of that mouth.

I'm not even sure the guy takes a full breath anymore.

But you know what?

They put him on a dolly and they roll him out there every night and they stand him up. That's right.
And they use a computer to make his hands move. And the guy goes out there.
Like a Chuck E. Cheese? Yes.
The animatronic? Yes. He is Chuck E.
Cheese. That's who he is.
They literally made him an electronic man. And he goes out there with his little robot wheels and he goes out there and he sings for 30 minutes.

Well, they say you should always have a purpose in life that keeps you going. I don't disagree with that.
And that's why I think Ozzy is not going to have his final farewell show at this festival. because I think that if you're a musician or whatever it is you do in life,

like my grandfather was 99 years old in a retirement home with a hip that wouldn't heal, colon cancer, and could barely speak any kind of English. And the guy, and he was a former FBI agent, till the day that he passed away, the day before he passed away, he asked one of the nurses to take his resume and fax it to a phone number.
And they would pretend to do that. They would pretend to do that because it was giving him some kind of purpose.
So listen, this might be the commercial breaks farewell show, or we, Chrissy and I, might be doing this until our 98th birthday. Until we're in Chuck E.
Cheese. Until, yeah, until we're in Chuck E.
Cheese mode. Tina's got to roll this out here.
There's strings. Yes.
Until AI is doing my voice. Yes.
I'm just here going... Until I have no teeth.
Actually, you know what? I'll always have teeth because I know that I go get them in turkey. That's what I know.
All right. Well, will we see you tomorrow? I don't know.
I don't know. Hey, once again, I want to thank Andrew.
Now I'm thinking about me doing doing this well into my retirement days. Yes.
Yes. I'm getting close to retirement age.
Well, I know. When you think about it.
Well, retirement age back in the 60s. Now you work until you're 72 or whatever it is.
Yeah, we'll be down at the Villages. No doubt.
Doing the show. I mean, listen, I heard, I heard the Villages has taken a turn, and I was watching a reel about people in the Villages racing their golf carts.
Yeah. That's what they're doing, racing golf carts up and down the street.
It's like a parade, and some guy was driving in the wrong direction and smacked into another golf cart. Oh.
And the guy who was driving one of the golf carts went flying out into the street. It was like really intense.
And I was like, geez, they have fun down there, but it's dangerous. It can be.
Yeah, listen, could be Chrissy and I. Could be Chrissy and I.
All right, thanks to Andrew Callahan. I'm going to put links in the show notes to go to his Patreon and watch the brand new directorial, independent directorial debut.
Not his directorial debut, but the first one he's directed independently. Dear Kelly, I think it's a movie you must watch to have a little bit of a better understanding of why this country is so polarized.
At least for some people, why this country is so polarized and how easy it is to get sucked into extremism. And remember, like my father-in-law says, Aye, Brian.
And also, extremes on both sides end up in the same place. Just remember that.
I don't know what it means, but it sounds really smart. So I'm going to say it.
It does. 212-433-3TCB.
212-433-3822. If you want to hear your voice on the commercial break, leave us a message, your salutations, your goodwills, your good wishes, or just talk shit about us one way or the other.
We'll probably play it on air. Wish us well on our farewell tour.
Fare thee well. Fare thee well.
So go ahead, text us, leave us a voicemail. You may be on the next episode of The Commercial Break.
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Thanks, Dr. Phil.

You're welcome, Brian.

All right, Chrissy.

That's all I can do for now.

I think so.

I love you.

I love you.

Best to you.

Best to you.

And best to you out there on the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye.
Hi, here's your report. Thanks, Jane.
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I'm out. you If you got a softy in your brain, you're going to have a softy in your pants.

You know what I'm saying?