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of the commercial break

Speaker 2 hey have they called school yet Well, I mean, it's starting to accumulate. Yes, it's accumulating right up here.
I can see it. I can see it right now.

Speaker 2 Well, it just hit 32. It hurt 32 degrees.
And it's going to get down to 28 tonight. And it's going to be 28 in the morning.
They can't go to school at 32 degrees.

Speaker 2 Babies are not made for 32-degree weather. Uh-uh.
Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

Speaker 3 On this episode of the Commercial Break.

Speaker 3 For a minute there, I saw the EDM. You likened yourself to an emergency.
I likened myself

Speaker 3 to an EDM promoter. It was fun while it lasted.
And guess what the name of the company was that I created? Oh my God, I can only imagine. Jamland Productions.

Speaker 3 Jamland Productions. Goes right along with that EDM

Speaker 3 flavor.

Speaker 3 Presented by Jamland. Yeah, presented by Jamland Productions.
DJ shit for brains.

Speaker 3 And the cone of insecurity.

Speaker 3 The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break.
I'm Brian Green. This is the Glenn Burns to my Ken Cook, Kristen Joy Odley, best to you, Kristen.

Speaker 3 You like that? You see where I went with that? All right. Welcome back to the next one.
Weather advisory.

Speaker 3 A little weather-related opening. Winter weather warning.
Wintery mix. Yes.

Speaker 3 11 Alive only does storm alert days in serious situations. This is to be taken seriously, I just read.
It's a Friday here on the commercial break, and we're not actually here on a Friday.

Speaker 3 We're probably embedded in some

Speaker 3 one and a half inches of snow that has crippled the city.

Speaker 3 We're stocked up on bread and milk. Yes, bread and milk.
Because,

Speaker 3 first of all, who drinks bread and milk? What? I know. Bread and milk.
Mac and cheese or like, you know, canned soup or something. Mac and cheese and wine.
Bread, milk, and water.

Speaker 3 Those are the things that go. The alcohol.
That's what goes. Exactly.
Gasoline, firewood. I mean, it's like people just go fucking bananas around here.
And the pandemonium has already started.

Speaker 3 And it's only the middle of the week. I'm referring to this winter storm that's supposedly going to affect some parts of the southeast, like the city of Atlanta, where we live and where we record.

Speaker 3 I got to be honest with you, I just don't believe the bullshit anymore. I've been living in this city for way too long.

Speaker 3 I've even noticed that I think the meteorologists don't believe the bullshit anymore. I don't even think they think they know what's actually going to happen because they're wrong every fucking time.

Speaker 3 They're wrong about where the hurricane goes. They're worried about where they're wrong about what the weather's going to be in an hour, let alone five days from now.

Speaker 3 And every time they put together one of these special storm alerts, which we have going on right now, everybody runs to the fucking store. There are lines.
It's pandemonium.

Speaker 3 Everyone's driving like an asshole trying to to get home. I don't know, to apparently make French toast with their bread, milk, and eggs.
I don't know what's going on. But then what's going to happen?

Speaker 3 It's going to rain. That's what's going to happen.
It's going to rain. And we're all going to get 70 days.
Yes, we just got

Speaker 3 30 days of no school, and we're going to have three more school days where I got to go fucking crazy because my kids are running around the house with nothing to do. Fuck you.
Fuck you.

Speaker 3 Chesley Nesley or whatever your name is. Chesley.
Chesley. I like Chesley.
I like Chesley too. He has the wizometer.

Speaker 3 I used to have the whizometer, but I married Astrid, and she said, no whizometer for me. No more whiz.
No whizometer for me. We're going to take the whiz onto theometer.

Speaker 3 Why does my mind always go there? Of course, we just spend all day yesterday looking at penises. So there you go.
Yes. That's a hard one to explain to Astrid.

Speaker 3 I go in the kitchen yesterday and I go, hey, babe, I got a little concern about our new video team. And she's like, what?

Speaker 3 And I go, Well, listen, we just spent the entire episode looking at dicks, and I'm not sure that I should say. And she goes, Wait, did you say you spent the entire episode looking at dicks?

Speaker 3 And I was, I did spend the entire episode looking. Why are you looking at dicks? And I go, Well, listen, it was for a show that we did about naked attraction.

Speaker 3 And she's like, I just don't understand some of the content you were issuing.

Speaker 3 Hey, after 640.

Speaker 3 75 episodes, yeah, 800 hours of the commercial print.

Speaker 3 I already called do not send that video to the editors. Well, I didn't.
I didn't. What I did was I sent the audio.
I sent just us and our reaction to the video.

Speaker 3 I didn't actually send the actual video because YouTube's not going to show it anyway, so what's the fucking point? I'm certainly not going to put a clip of that on Spotify. Can you imagine?

Speaker 3 And all our new Venezuelan listeners and all they see is a big uncircumcised penis. Anyway, here in Atlanta,

Speaker 3 when there's snow, when there's threat of snow, when there's threat of winter weather, it is just like,

Speaker 3 it's like a sport here in Atlanta. It's like a sport to see who can cancel school first, how many days can we not go to work, and how many people can freak out over nothing, quite frankly.

Speaker 3 Now, to be fair, in the occasion when, and there's been many of these, when the weather people tell us it's not going to snow, everything's going to be okay. Yeah, don't worry about it.
Boom.

Speaker 3 Yeah, boom. Six inches of ice, no power for two hours.
People are peeing in their cars. Truckers are shitting on the highway.

Speaker 3 On the side of the road for 12 hours the national guard is picking people up out of their hot vehicles there they always get it wrong always so when they say there's going to be three to six inches of snow where we're where we are right now i just don't believe it i don't have any reason to believe it because it never comes true i mean maybe the supercomputer can help with this moving forward.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I know. Maybe AI can help, but doesn't seem to be, they don't seem to be getting any better at this.

Speaker 3 And here's the thing.

Speaker 3 Everybody will remember a couple of events events here in Atlanta having to do with wintery mix.

Speaker 3 The year of the Super Bowl, whatever that was, 2002? No, well. 2003? Are you talking about which

Speaker 3 storm? The ice storm. The ice storm.

Speaker 4 I was a child, so yeah.

Speaker 3 Let's go with that. Yeah, I was living in Tennessee during that.
You were?

Speaker 3 Okay. All right.
So actually, four separate events. The first one, and all of them, I got stuck in strange circumstances.
Let me explain.

Speaker 3 First one, whether people don't call it, and there literally was like 18 inches of snow. This is back in the 90s.
I was stuck. Like 95? Yeah, 95,

Speaker 3 94, 95. I was on, I went to my, I went to my friend's older sister's house at Georgia Southern University.

Speaker 3 I've told that story before where I made out with some girl and then she freaked out because I was underage and she had some guy call and threaten me like he was his boyfriend. Anyway, all right.

Speaker 3 I'm not going to repeat the story. It was kind of gross and people didn't like it.
All right. So

Speaker 3 Christina remembers it. So she's thanking God I'm not repeating the story.

Speaker 3 The smell. That's all I got.
I can just remember the smell of that situation. But I got stuck in Georgia Southern at Georgia Southern University for days.

Speaker 3 My dad had to pay for a hotel room because we couldn't, literally couldn't drive back to Atlanta. Then there is the 2002, 2003 ice storm

Speaker 3 when

Speaker 3 overnight, we accumulated five to six inches of not snow, not rain, ice. And it literally turned to ice as soon as it hit the ground, hit the wires, hit the cars.
And everybody was socked in for days.

Speaker 3 This crippled the city in a way that I will never forget because I went without power and heat for four or five days. We had to open the oven.

Speaker 3 We had to turn the oven on and open it to get heat in the house.

Speaker 3 That's safe. And I was doing blow.
Oh.

Speaker 3 What story of Brian's doesn't include the word blow if it's previous to 2007? Dee was able to get out. Dee was able to get out.

Speaker 3 We managed to connect before the ice storm. So thank God I had my supplies.
Most people go for bread and milk. Brian's going for blow and bud like.

Speaker 3 I was over at... Remember, I told the story

Speaker 3 how one of my friends wanted me to kind of cuck his wife. He was gay and he wanted me to kind of cuck his wife.

Speaker 3 You worked with her.

Speaker 3 No, I worked with him at the Lestrada and then he continued and then he left to go work at the gay bar overnights.

Speaker 3 And he asked me to take care of his wife while he was out at the gay bar doing his thing. And I took care of her.
And what we really ended up doing a lot of times was just sitting around doing drugs.

Speaker 3 And so, like many other nights before, we decided that we were going to do drugs. And when we did this, we started to realize that shit outside was getting a little bit hairy.

Speaker 3 We and the gay bar closed early because it was getting hairy. And so we had to drive down to pick all kind of fucking twisted.

Speaker 3 We drove down to pick him up on the highway, sliding from one lane to the other, the scariest ride I've ever taken, maybe because of the cocaine, maybe because it was actually scary, not really sure.

Speaker 3 But we slid back and forth all the way to pick him up. By the time we got back north of Atlanta, things were just bad.

Speaker 3 Transformers were exploding,

Speaker 3 trees were falling. And I lived about four miles down Roswell Road.
And I couldn't, we couldn't drop. There was A decision was made.
There was no more driving going to be done.

Speaker 3 I walked that four miles back to where I was living. And I'll never forget this.
Four miles is a long way in the ice. It took me hours to walk home.
Hours to walk home.

Speaker 3 I just remember slipping and sliding everywhere.

Speaker 3 I don't know why I had to go home. I think

Speaker 3 I was on Coke and I was getting uncomfortable and I was worried I was going to get stuck. And there was a cat in the apartment.

Speaker 3 And I, you know, if I was doing blow, I was not having an allergic reaction. But

Speaker 3 after the effects of my decongested wore off, I was going to have a panic attack. And, you know, I'm really allergic to cats.
And so I just think I just got in my own head. And I'm like, I got to go.

Speaker 3 I got to get back home. I don't want to be stuck here for days.
And at that time, now we had the news on and the news was saying, holy shit, what we said wasn't going to happen happened. Whoops.

Speaker 3 The whole city socked in and no one has power.

Speaker 3 So when I'm walking home, I remember walking toward a gas station on Roswell Road, and there was a light post, had a transformer on it, one of those round things that sits up there that converts, whatever the fuck that does.

Speaker 3 That thing exploded when I was about a football field away from it, and I could feel it in my testicles. It was the loudest, deepest explosion I had ever heard.

Speaker 3 It hurt my ears, and the light was like a thousand suns. It was crazy.

Speaker 3 Just exploded. Sparks flying everywhere.
And so I started to to hustle up just a little bit quicker toward home. Trees, branches falling, cracking.

Speaker 3 It was the apocalypse, and Brian's walking home. I had a perfectly warm place to sleep.
By the way, the apartment that I left had power the entire time.

Speaker 3 The apartment that I went back to had no power when I got home. For four days, I had no power.

Speaker 3 Then, of course, the great

Speaker 3 shit, 75 shitstorm of 2013. I think it was 13.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 When I was on the second date, my second date with a girl who I

Speaker 3 anyway.

Speaker 3 Yes. She came over to my house to watch a movie.
And I'll never forget. We watched Inception is the movie that we watched.

Speaker 3 And I smoked cigarettes at the time. So did she.
And so as the movie ended, we decided to go outside and smoke a cigarette. When we started Inception, it was raining.

Speaker 3 When we went out almost three hours later to go smoke a cigarette. It was crazy.

Speaker 4 It happened so fast.

Speaker 3 Six inches of snow. I had just dropped Jeff off

Speaker 3 at the airport because he was going up to New York. Oh, really? For because I think that was around the Super Bowl II.
There was something going on.

Speaker 3 I think maybe the news maybe I thought this was like

Speaker 4 fall. If it was 2013, it was like

Speaker 3 2014. Because that was my freshman year of college.

Speaker 3 Okay, so 2014. 2014.
Yeah, so I had just dropped Jeff off and then I got back home and it just started dumping. Dumping.

Speaker 3 It happened so quick.

Speaker 3 And that's what caused, that's what everybody got caught. Yes, everybody tried to get to their kids to get them out of school.
That's right, things went nuts, the traffic was insane, it stuck.

Speaker 3 Everybody was stuck, it went crazy quickly. And I lived in an apartment.

Speaker 3 And if you walked outside of my apartment, I was on like, you know, uh, it was one of these that kind of sits on the side of a hill, and that hill pointed toward I-75, which is the major artery that goes right through the city.

Speaker 3 So, I lived downtown right off I and I mean I say right off 75, right off 75. I could see it when I walked into my apartment.

Speaker 3 And as we woke up the next, so of course she couldn't go anywhere. She was scared to drive.
I agreed with her. There were a lot of

Speaker 3 the problem with the city of Atlanta is it's very hilly and none of our streets are congruent. There is no going around the block in Atlanta.

Speaker 3 If you head onto a street, you're kind of stuck there for the next 10 miles. You know what I'm saying? You can't go around the block.

Speaker 3 You have grids. No.

Speaker 3 Someone was on acid when they developed the city of Atlanta because it's crazy.

Speaker 3 So the next next morning when we woke up and we are watching this, and this is night number one on the second date I have with this young lady, we're into like the 24th hour of this date.

Speaker 3 When I woke up the next morning, I turn on the TV and I see that the helicopters are flying above the highway where I live. Like I could go outside.
I could hear the helicopters above me.

Speaker 3 The TV cameras are literally down on the street because there are thousands of vehicles that are stuck in. They're stuck right there where I live.
live, like on 75, stuck right there.

Speaker 3 People are stuck. It was a mess.

Speaker 3 The National Guard is called in to try and bring them water and food.

Speaker 3 I walked outside to go see what was going on. And as I look over the balcony, there was a trucker in the woods down the hill where I live.
There was a trucker, his ass full of glory.

Speaker 3 Letting the hot shit out

Speaker 3 right there on the side of the fucking

Speaker 3 thing like it in my life.

Speaker 3 I was like, oh my God. I thought Transformer Explosion was apocalypse.
This felt much more like apocalypse to me.

Speaker 3 So in the good spirit of being an Atlantan, we made a pot of coffee, a big couple pots of coffee, and we went out there and started bringing coffee.

Speaker 4 So you went to make people shit more.

Speaker 3 We allowed people to relieve themselves. Yeah.
I mean, listen, okay, you got a shit. You got a shit.
What are you going to do? The trucker was, I mean, he just had to go.

Speaker 3 It's more.

Speaker 4 It's going to speed that up.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah so we brought coffee we brought water we we made a couple of trips out that was also a slippery

Speaker 3 we were like kind of like sliding down the ramp oh yeah but that's what we did anyway day number five

Speaker 3 still lots still a little sloggy out there on the roads but you now we i could see that cars were out there driving

Speaker 3 on the side streets not on the highway yet but on because Eventually, the National Guard got everybody out of their car, took them to wherever it is they were going, like a cab service, and the cars just sat there on the highway.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they did. And the governor, like seven days into this, had to say on TV, if you don't move your car today, we are going to tow you.
You need to move your car.

Speaker 3 We're going to have to move them out of the way. And the National Guard eventually went and started pushing cars out of the way.
It was crazy.

Speaker 3 I, day number five, even though it was still very slick and sloggy out there,

Speaker 3 I made the decision. to get in my own car with this young lady.
I couldn't take it anymore. I was done.
I was like, I got to get you home. I'm sorry.
I got to get you home.

Speaker 3 And she's like, I just don't feel comfortable driving. I can hear the cars sliding out there.
And I was like, you may not feel comfortable driving, but I do. So let me

Speaker 3 accord with no push. That's right.
And it's perfectly safe. What else could possibly go wrong with my car? If we crash, we crash.

Speaker 3 And I'm telling you what, we slid all the way over all over those side streets to get her home. And I slid all the way back.
And I took a deep, solid breath when I got home.

Speaker 3 And I was like, thank God, I can can just ride this out by myself now. It was so, it turned into like the worst.

Speaker 3 It just was, you know, you're just doing it back for more later. Oh, three years later.

Speaker 3 Three years later, we broke up.

Speaker 3 For good.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. Yes.

Speaker 3 Three years later.

Speaker 3 I should have known right then. I did know right then and right there.
But, you know, sometimes we're going to have the haunts with the hall was. The haunt was what the haunt was.

Speaker 3 They used to tell me that. It is what it is.

Speaker 3 I'd be like, Brian, really? I'm holding space. We broke it up again.
Wait, now you're back together again.

Speaker 3 The heart wants with the heart wants, Chrissy. Yeah.
Not only did I used to say that to Chrissy, I would say that in the course of 24 hours. Yes.
I would be like, we broke up.

Speaker 3 Call later on in the day. We're back.
It's up back up. Well, no, then you'd be like, hey, you want to come meet so-and-so out with me? We're going to go to the bar and come meet us out.

Speaker 3 I'd be like, I thought y'all broke up. Nah.
Wait, you just broke up this morning. And I'd be like, yeah, no, it's fine.
We're all good. Yeah, we patch things up.

Speaker 2 Thank God for Astrid.

Speaker 3 Thank God. Astrid's the best thing that ever happened.

Speaker 3 You have no idea. But I honestly think I had to get through schnitzel tits to get to Astrid.
Yes.

Speaker 3 To understand what a good partner is for me and then how to be a good partner to someone else. You just have to go through that stuff sometimes.
You do. That's it.

Speaker 3 I firmly believe that we learn by doing and or at least I learned by, there's lots of people on earth who, and I'm really good at giving relationship advice.

Speaker 3 I consider myself really good at giving relationship advice, but I can't take it to save my life. I just can't take my own advice.

Speaker 3 I can see a train wreck coming a mile away if it's somebody else that's getting in the train wreck.

Speaker 3 But I will literally stand on the tracks and the train will go forward and back up a couple times before I realize I shouldn't be standing on the fucking tracks. Listen, I'm just one of those guys.

Speaker 3 I have to learn by doing and then fail multiple times. And look at this podcast.
Look at this podcast. We should have given this up three years ago.
We should have socked it in.

Speaker 3 A little bit of this. A little bit of this.
A little bit of that. Wabam!

Speaker 3 Brian's back with her. Brian's back with Spittletitz.

Speaker 3 Locked you out of your apartment. Called your mama bitch to her face.

Speaker 3 Screamed and yelled at you in front of everybody at the window. Broke your window.

Speaker 3 Slashed your tires. Well, bam!

Speaker 3 The hard wants what the heart wants.

Speaker 3 Anyway, we're probably snowed in. I'm probably calling bullshit.
I'm trying to call the bullshit, but this looks like it actually might happen. So pray for us here in Atlanta.

Speaker 3 I love, that's my favorite thing in the world is when social media starts making those posts about Atlanta after snow. Pray for Atlanta.
Pray for Atlanta with like a dusting of snow. I know.

Speaker 3 Sorry, folks. Atlanta's closed.
So John Candy from the vacation. Oh, my God.
Oh, that's a great. All right.
Got to love that movie. Get your memes ready and tag us on Instagram.
We'd love to see it.

Speaker 3 We'll keep you posted. I promise I'll make a reel.
If any kind of wintry weather happens, I'll post a reel and I'll tag the commercial break in it. All right, let's take a break.
We'll be back.

Speaker 3 I have a wild idea.

Speaker 4 Go to our Instagram and follow us at thecommercial break. And then go to our TikTok and follow us there at TCB Podcast.

Speaker 4 And then go to our YouTube, youtube.com slash the commercial break and follow us there. And then text us at 212-433-3TCB and tell us that you followed us on all of those other places.

Speaker 4 And then go to our website, tcbpodcast.com and browse, I guess. Well, those are all the ideas I have for today.
So see you tomorrow. Bye.

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored in part by Rula. You know, there was a time when I really needed therapy, but I could not find a therapist who took my insurance.

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Speaker 5 This is Free Range with Von Miller, the podcast where I step outside the lines and I take you with me.

Speaker 5 Each week, we're talking everything from the biggest stories around the league to the biggest stories off the field. This isn't your average sports podcast.

Speaker 5 This is game meets culture, locker room meets living room, and no topic is off limits.

Speaker 5 So, if you're into good conversations that ruffle a few feathers, join me every Wednesday and follow Free Range with Von Miller, everywhere you get your podcast.

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored by our longtime sponsor, Squarespace. I am working on a new project, Information TBD.
It's very secretive.

Speaker 1 It's very hush-hush around here because, you know, podcast secrets are a thing.

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Speaker 3 I'm officially done with Facebook. I just want to share that with you.

Speaker 3 You gotten back on it? I have. I've been checking in recently.
Oh, really? For what reason?

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 3 Are you finding dates on there?

Speaker 3 No, I wanted to check out the marketplace thing, and you know, it sucks you back in.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they know how to get it. It's the Facebook sock.
Yeah, Mark Zuckerberg knows how to get people to pay attention. I mean,

Speaker 3 good, bad, or indifferent, Mark has changed our lives. And so actually, mainly bad and indifferent, Mark Zuckerberg has changed our lives.
But it just seems like,

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 3 I know this happens with every single administration. And I'm not claiming that Trump is the only one this is happening with.
But it sure does seem like the robber barons are kneeling at the,

Speaker 3 I don't know, the throne of Trump and it's really strange to me to see them so publicly sucking a dick I mean honestly

Speaker 3 I'm not surprised no there's no surprises here there's the only guy that I'm somebody that's gonna try and fight him is gonna be you know then that's gonna be an enemy number one of course yeah that's the thing is that he makes such a big stink about every single thing and he causes a lot of drama for with like normally I think most presidents you know with the exception of some in our history would just kind of like you know, okay, I'm not going to

Speaker 3 publicly lambast you. That's for the whoever, whatever, the regular.
Yeah, that's private. That's right.
That's for the, I do that privately. Privately, I step on your business.

Speaker 3 I don't publicly do it. But they're so scared of getting a public tongue-lashing and having, you know, whatever.
I'm not sure whatever happened.

Speaker 3 They're so scared of it that they just kneel and they bow. And it's, it's really quite disturbing to me.
I liked when all this stuff happened in private that I didn't know about it. And

Speaker 3 I didn't have to be upset. it.
At least Greenland is standing up.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, Trump's threatening to invade Greenland and Panama. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Now, listen, we probably could invade.
Panama doesn't even have a standing army.

Speaker 3 That could be a really easy take. All right, I get that one.
But Greenland? You're going to go for Greenland? Let Greenland be. For God's sakes, do we really need Greenland?

Speaker 3 I mean, he says it's like a military strategic. Maybe it is, but we already have a relationship with Greenland.
Why do we want to own another country?

Speaker 3 Can't we get this one right before we start looking at others? Canada the

Speaker 3 51st state? Really?

Speaker 3 How about making Puerto Rico the 51st state and give them the attention that they need

Speaker 3 before we go paying attention to Canada? But of course, we know why that's not going to happen.

Speaker 3 Anywho, the one guy that I still like out of all this, one billionaire that I'm still, you know, thinking is semi-sane is Mark Cuban. 100%.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Mark Cuban is at least, I mean, listen, I don't love everything about Mark Cuban, but I think generally he speaks truth to power and he seems to not be afraid. And, you know,

Speaker 3 he agrees with some stuff, but disagrees with other things, the major things that make the most sense.

Speaker 3 Here's what's going to be shocking to some listeners who are no longer listening because they don't like the fact

Speaker 3 their fannies are hurt that I talked about Trump in a negative way. But if your fanny is hurt that I talked about Trump in a negative way, let me share something with you that might be surprising.

Speaker 3 I don't disagree with everything Trump has to say. Don't disagree with him.
Don't Don't disagree with some of the stuff that him and some of the people that are around him say. I actually agree with.

Speaker 3 I think that we do need big change in this country. I don't think the country works for a lot of folks, but I don't think we're going to get there by kowtowing to billionaires.

Speaker 3 I just don't think we're going to do that. That's my personal opinion.

Speaker 3 There should be a nice adversarial relationship going on with people who control most of the wealth in this country, and we should be checking them to make sure that

Speaker 3 they don't, like their cup don't spilleth over, crushing everybody in the process. And that should be part of the government's responsibility, should be to checks and balances to make sure.

Speaker 3 I'm not saying take away their wealth. I don't believe in that.

Speaker 3 I don't believe in wealth distribution, but I'm saying that we shouldn't just be cuddling up to them and letting them do whatever the fuck they want to do, nor should. It be the opposite way around.

Speaker 3 I don't believe that because I don't think that's good for us, the small people, the people who don't make any money podcasting.

Speaker 3 I want to be a billionaire too, but I'm never going to get there because, you know, I don't know.

Speaker 3 It's because there's certain people, you know, they just seem to be absorbing a ton of wealth without any checks and balances and not doing great by the people who allow them to get that rich.

Speaker 3 Amazon is a perfect example of this. They don't treat their employees very well.

Speaker 3 And at every turn that the employees are trying to help themselves get out of that shit city situation or make it a little bit better, they get crushed. And we're not helping them.

Speaker 3 And the new administration doesn't seem to be willing to help them. They want to fight against it.
Why? Why? Why shouldn't we help the workers at Amazon? They bring me

Speaker 3 a random microphone wire in three hours. I know.

Speaker 3 I know. I always don't choose that option when they're like, we can have it to you by 7 a.m.
Oh, I always do. I'm the asshole who always does that.

Speaker 3 Like those poor people that are delivering it in the cold and dark in the middle of the overnight. Yeah, but those people, those people who do bring me the random microphone wire in three hours.

Speaker 3 Wait, let me give you a story for all the kids out there. When I first started playing guitar and I got an amplifier, and my

Speaker 3 god damn it, Brian, shut that shit up.

Speaker 3 When I got the first ever amplifier ever made in 1909,

Speaker 3 the

Speaker 3 Fender number one, when I got that,

Speaker 3 I needed a wire in order to plug that thing in. You know what I had to do?

Speaker 3 I had to go to my dad, ask him for a ride to the guitar store that was 26 miles away, to then go and pay for that wire and bring it back to the house.

Speaker 3 That entire process took about six weeks because my dad knew once I plugged the guitar in, it was all over for the rest of the house. And man, was it?

Speaker 3 If I didn't, every three minutes hear Brian, turn it down. What the fuck? Shut up.

Speaker 3 I'm gonna be a star dad

Speaker 3 can it be can it be

Speaker 3 you know what could be yours Brian the garage

Speaker 3 go there

Speaker 3 so now the amazing development that Amazon can get you anything at any time and bring it to you within

Speaker 3 is a blessing among blessings. It is like a gift from the heavens.
It makes your life so incredibly easier.

Speaker 3 And if you, the regular listener at home, doesn't believe that those people should be treated correctly, then you are a shithead. Period, end of sentence.
There's nothing else to say.

Speaker 3 Same with the grocery deliveries and the FedEx and the people who work behind the coffee counter and whoever.

Speaker 3 Christina, all these people. Our service workers.

Speaker 3 Patiently waiting.

Speaker 3 The people who work for us and do the things that make our lives easier, more convenient, better, healthier, whatever you want to say. Those are the people that we should take care of.

Speaker 3 Jeff Bezos, we don't need to worry about. The guy has a yacht that has a yacht inside the yacht.

Speaker 3 Who fucking cares?

Speaker 3 No one's going to ever bother Jeff Bezos.

Speaker 3 Do you think Jeff Bezos orders Amazon?

Speaker 3 Here's a question I have. Do you think Jeff Bezos uses Amazon products?

Speaker 3 I bet he does too.

Speaker 4 Do you think he gets everything for free?

Speaker 3 Yeah, probably. Of course.
Yeah. I mean, technically.
That's annoying. Maybe not.
Maybe he's got like a he's probably got an account where like he racks shit up. Yeah.
You think Jeff orders a

Speaker 3 Jeff orders like you know oat milk at three in the morning to be delivered by seven? He probably has an assistant who does that. Yo, yeah.
He's got an assistant whose assistant's assistant does that

Speaker 3 because

Speaker 3 that person probably never talks, speaks to Jeff Bezos. Jeff just sends a text message to his most trusted advisor, who then sends, who sends a million people out to do everything.
And that's okay.

Speaker 3 I'm not arguing with that. I'd love to be in that position.
As long as I didn't hurt anybody else to get there, I'd love to be in that position.

Speaker 3 But there's the point also: is that I think we need to just consider how everybody,

Speaker 3 I think everybody, I think certain people have this mentality. I don't fault them for that.
I think certain people have this mentality that that's what I want. I want to be Jeff Bezos.

Speaker 3 I want to be the millionaire. I want to drive the Lamborghini.
I want to have a boat. I want to live Lamborghini.

Speaker 3 Laborghini.

Speaker 3 It's a Puccini mushroom mixed with a Lambrador retrieval.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a Lamborghoodle. I think they have this impression that that's what I want.

Speaker 3 And okay, that's great. That's the American dream.
Everybody wants that. But you're going to need the help.
and the cooperation of people who may never realize that dream in order to get there.

Speaker 3 And if we cannot step on heads on the way up the ladder, lest we meet them on the way back down, I just think that it might be a better place to live, a better society in general.

Speaker 3 And so I argue sometimes that cuddling up to all of the robber barons that are out there right now and making their lives easier at the expense of everybody else who's helping them get there is really a shitty attitude to have.

Speaker 3 And it doesn't work. And so it's been going on since the invention of our country, though.
I mean, think about all of the

Speaker 3 train, the steel, all of that that actually built the country. Same thing.
I mean, talk about those working conditions. There was child labor.
Child labor?

Speaker 3 The Chinese people built our railroads and everybody else got rich. I argue, Chrissy, here's the surprise for you because Brian's going to know a history fact.

Speaker 3 Even the Egyptians treated their people shitty. Now,

Speaker 3 we're not living in Egypt, though. We're living in the United States of America in 2024.
This should be a little bit different.

Speaker 3 2025, thank you.

Speaker 3 Me and my kid, both still trying to get used to that new number.

Speaker 3 You're fighting it. I'm arguing it.
I'm fighting it all the way.

Speaker 3 But I'm sorry. The guy, of all the billionaires, the billionaire that really makes me just like hot out of the collar is that Mark fucking Fuckerberg.
He is so terrible. He's just like,

Speaker 3 Is he human? I'm not even sure.

Speaker 3 That's not a robot with skin on it. Do you know what I'm saying? He doesn't move his head or blink his eyes.
I can see. What's wrong with that?

Speaker 3 How do you do that? Practice. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 Facebook has just turned into a cesspool of disgustingness. I mean, maybe the marketplace is fine, and apparently everybody's dating on there now.

Speaker 3 So maybe I'm just an old man who can't get hip with the kids. I don't know.
I don't know. But, you know, fuck you.
I don't want to be on Facebook anymore. You don't have to be.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm getting with the newfangled Instagram. Those people are better over there.
Oh, wait. It's owned by Mark Zuckerberg.
Yeah. Shit.

Speaker 4 TikTok. That's why we're getting on Next Door.

Speaker 3 Next door is who owns Next Door?

Speaker 3 Probably some Chinese company. I don't know.
I have no idea. You don't hear about that one.
Yeah, no, I think Next Door is a private company.

Speaker 3 It was probably owned by Uber Eats or something. I don't know.
Who fucking knows?

Speaker 4 Or says a bunch of investors, institutional investors, next door investors.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 4 And just a bunch of people.

Speaker 3 I was going to think maybe it was the landscape company. The CEO is Nirov Tulias.
He's advertising.

Speaker 3 My landscaping company owns Next Door.

Speaker 3 Instead of buying Greenland, let's buy next door. How's that? Kevin O'Leary is thinking about buying TikTok.
He's trying to buy TikTok.

Speaker 3 I had no idea, but okay. Which is beyond, beyond to me.
Like,

Speaker 3 I have a hard time believing that the guy who's, I don't know, the, you know, the kind of the per snickety jerk off from Shark Tank, which I don't have any problems with Kevin O'Leary.

Speaker 3 I, quite frankly, I think he's pretty smart. But, you know, that guy is going to own TikTok.

Speaker 3 Is this going to be another Justin Timberlake MySpace moment where TikTok just goes into oblivion because of who owns it? Do you remember when Justin bought MySpace?

Speaker 3 Yeah, but when he bought that, though, it was definitely

Speaker 3 pretty much.

Speaker 3 TikTok's alive and well. TikTok's alive and well, and there are a lot of creators who

Speaker 3 rightfully are very nervous and very scared that their way of living is going to be gone because TikTok has paid a lot of creators a lot of money and a lot of people applaud them for that as do I.

Speaker 3 If you're helping the platform be successful, you should participate in some way, shape, or form.

Speaker 3 But a lot of creators are very nervous that this TikTok ban will go into effect. I think it's now going to be sitting in front of the Supreme Court.

Speaker 3 It's up to Donald Trump whether or not, I guess, he signs the bill into law. I don't think he's going to sign it.
No, I don't think he is either.

Speaker 3 Baron, you know, next to him saying, Dad, you cannot do this. Yeah, and you know what? For that, I applaud you, Baron.

Speaker 3 Listen, I think that it's very dangerous to have China have all this information at their disposal, but I'm not smart enough to understand why that's dangerous.

Speaker 3 I just think in my head, other people have said it's dangerous. You know what I'm saying? Like, isn't all of our information readily accessible anyway if you really want it?

Speaker 3 Couldn't you just pay, couldn't China just pay LexisNexis to get that information? Or any private institution could pay LexisNexis?

Speaker 3 I mean, one time I applied for a car loan, this was like three years ago.

Speaker 3 I am still getting phone calls to this day where they know my middle name, my mom's maiden name, and they know what make, model, and you know, license plate number I have on the car.

Speaker 3 They know where I work, they know where I live, they know everything about me. Not because I gave them that information, because they bought that information from the person who gave me the loan.

Speaker 3 Now they're trying to buy the loan, now they're trying to get in the game, they're trying to make a little bit of money off me. That's the way it goes.

Speaker 3 So, if China wants our info, can't they just give it to us anyway? I understand it's on your phone and they're sucking up your, you know, your emails and all that stuff. But listen, let's be real.

Speaker 3 All of us have a phone where there's an arrestable offense somewhere on there. You know what I'm saying? Somewhere on there, there's an arrestable offense.

Speaker 3 Even Apple, I just read, had to pay out this huge lawsuit for Siri listening to us, which we knew was happening. I knew it.
I knew it. Instagram's doing the same thing.

Speaker 3 Facebook has been doing it for a long time. I am telling you, when I first got into

Speaker 3 internet marketing, way back when Google was a thing, back before search engine optimization, also known as

Speaker 3 do you guys do seos we do do seos oh yes we do do seos

Speaker 3 when google had just come online and search engine optimization uh manipulating the search engines to make your website or web presence rank higher search engine optimization when that was a thing a whole cottage industry popped up under it now it's all ai driven and i don't know that that seo is i don't know who knows um i haven't kept up with the seos okay that's what i'm trying to say

Speaker 3 we met had a meeting one time with a gentleman and this gentleman was starting a company i'd love to know where this gentleman is today the gentleman was starting a company where they would take

Speaker 3 based on your facebook application that was on your phone or your uh google app at the time uh your google information

Speaker 3 they would ping your phone determine where you were exactly within like 50 feet and then they would serve you up geo fencing geofencing an advertisement to a particular shop or service that was close by.

Speaker 3 And then they would buy all the information from whatever company, Lexis, Nexus, or whoever, and triangulate that information so that the owner of that place that just got served up that ad would know exactly who you were and where you were.

Speaker 3 So that when they came in, they would already be prepared to serve you or know what your preferences were or your tastes. This was like highly advanced at the time, but it has all happened long since.

Speaker 3 Everybody knows the information. Are we really scared about TikTok having that information? I don't know.
But I guess I would feel a little bit better if Kevin O'Leary owned it

Speaker 3 because I'd rather Kevin have my information than a bunch of random Chinese communists. You know what I'm saying? Yeah,

Speaker 3 I like your reasoning. Kevin, give me a call.
I'll help you work out this deal with TikTok. He's buying it for $300 billion, supposedly.

Speaker 3 Who's giving him that loan? Because I don't think Kevin has $300 billion.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I don't know. He's raising it.

Speaker 3 Bunch of hedge funds. That's what happens.
That's how it all works. works.
Bunch of hedge funds. That's how Elon got Twitter.
Bunch of hedge funds. Private equity.
Whatever that means.

Speaker 3 Equity that's private that no one knows about. That's what it is.
It's complicated machinery. I don't have time to explain it here on the show, but just trust me.
It's private and it's equitized.

Speaker 3 That's all you need to know. It's private and it's equitable, just not for you.
Okay? You understand? All right. I've been on my rant for 30 minutes.
Now we're done. Let's do that.

Speaker 3 Sometimes you just have to let it out.

Speaker 3 I just saw Mark Zuckerberg right before we got on the show and it made me angry and I thought I'd go on a little rant about how I'm feeling about the oligarchs that are now ruling our society.

Speaker 3 I'm not mad at their money. I really am not.
I believe that in America, you should be able to be a billionaire if you work hard and you do it correctly.

Speaker 3 And I think it might be hard to always do things correctly when you're a billionaire, but that's a different conversation for a different day. But let's not just cuckhold them.

Speaker 3 Let's, you know, let's make sure they're doing right by at least most people. Do you know what I'm saying, Chris? I know what you're saying.

Speaker 3 Well, thank you for agreeing with me, at least on this one thing. All right, we'll take a break.
We'll be back.

Speaker 4 Have you got a hankering down deep in your soul to tell us what's up? Well, I am encouraging you to do just that. Text us at 212-433-3TCV and tell us what's going on.
Give us the haps.

Speaker 4 Tell us the dirty secrets of your life. That's all we've ever wanted to hear.
You can also leave us a voicemail at the same number. That's 212-433-3822.

Speaker 4 And also, follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast.

Speaker 4 And if you want to see any video episodes, you can go to youtube.com/slash the commercial break and they are all right there.

Speaker 4 And if your hankering is not to tell us what's up, but it's for a new sticker, I'm sure there's probably one on the website. Go to tcbpodcast.com, click contact us, and find I want my free sticker.

Speaker 4 I know you can do it, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts on anything and everything. Love you, bye.

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Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 3 Seven to nine inches of snow in some locations is now predicted. Oh, is that like North Georgia? It's going to rain.

Speaker 3 It's going to rain. It's going to rain.

Speaker 3 No, that's here. That's here where we're at right now, Metro, North Metro.
But just south of here, like where you live.

Speaker 3 Let's look at that prediction.

Speaker 3 One to three inches. Yeah, I saw the one to three earlier.
Well, just stay up where the other house you stay at, and then you'll get all the snow. I don't want it.

Speaker 3 Okay. All right.
Settle down.

Speaker 3 My 15th child.

Speaker 3 Simmer down. Simmer down.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you know, this, hey, listen, maybe it turns into something that we all need to bring in. It's a Friday.
Yeah. So I will

Speaker 3 have more confidence in this, I think, tomorrow. Because I think 24 hours out.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the day of. They're generally,

Speaker 3 within the earshot of it. But you just take those hurricanes, for example.

Speaker 3 You'd think, after so many years of data with the hurricanes, that they could predict with some kind of certainty, like a cone of certainty. But it always seems to be extraordinarily uncertain.

Speaker 3 Yeah, cone of certainty. That needs to be like a band name.
Yes, cone of certainty. Brian's excuse or Brian's escape.

Speaker 3 Brian's escape with cone of uncertainty.

Speaker 3 Opening

Speaker 3 this Friday.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 The day it snows. They're playing.
This Friday at the Chameleon Club

Speaker 3 on 10th Street

Speaker 3 in very dangerous downtown Atlanta.

Speaker 3 Cone of Certainty with Brian's Escape.

Speaker 3 And isolated fingering. Special guest isolated fingering.

Speaker 3 Special guest, get your bell rung. Bingo!

Speaker 3 Chameleon Club. Remember that? I do.
Do you remember the chameleon club? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Wow. The rec room.
Oh, God. All those places.
I was just reading that last night that while EDM, electronic dance music, has seen it is like the WWE is having its moment in the sun.

Speaker 3 It is really having its moment in the sun. Yeah, did you see any of the stuff from the sphere over New Year's? Yes.
it looked incredible.

Speaker 3 I was like, I really wanted, I wanted to be there. I know.

Speaker 3 That looked so cool. Chrissy, I thought to myself, I'm so happy that Enya is seeing a resurgence.

Speaker 3 And then I realized that that's not the same Enya, it's Emya or whatever it is. No, it was.

Speaker 3 Yeah, isn't it Emya?

Speaker 3 Can you look up who's a Sphere E-Nema? Enema. Enema.
Yeah. Enema.
It is. Enya.
It's Enema. I think it is Enema, actually.

Speaker 3 E-N-N-A-M.

Speaker 3 Look at it. Eneman sphere.
I don't know if that's the way it's pronounced. Anima? Anima.

Speaker 3 An-N-Y-M-A. And you know what? That guy's dating Grimes.
Whoa. Yeah, I went out a whole rabbit hole with that, with him and the sphere, and then who, yeah, Grimes.

Speaker 3 I will tell you what. I am 100% wrong, like most of my business predictions, I was 100% wrong about the sphere.

Speaker 3 I thought the sphere would be a gimmick and that eventually they'd be playing like, you know, National Geographic Whale movies on the boundaries. Like IMAX.

Speaker 3 Yeah, like IMAX movies that were specially made for it. And I was 100% wrong.
And even the video is pretty impressive. Oh my God, yeah.

Speaker 3 I went over the summer. Yeah, I know you saw The Dead there.
I'd like to see The Dead there, too. I think that would be great.
I'd love to see fish there.

Speaker 3 I think they're going to also make a return, apparently, according to my fish sources.

Speaker 3 They're doing CES out there right now. It's hard to believe that I even have fish sources, but I do.

Speaker 3 CES and the porn show are together every year, just to let you know,

Speaker 3 the porn at the ABN Awards and the CES are together every year. I think they are anyway.
I believe that's been going on for a long time.

Speaker 3 But that sphere is a technological achievement of epic proportions.

Speaker 3 And everyone who's been there, and I've talked to a number of people who have, including you, really have been very impressed by what they have managed to accomplish. And

Speaker 3 it's no gimmick.

Speaker 3 Like, it it really is a technological feat because apparently no matter where you sit in the entire building, you're either going to get bad vertigo and feel like you're going to fall down

Speaker 3 or you're just going to see the visuals of a lifetime in

Speaker 3 an electronic setting, like a television screen type setting. Yeah, I mean, it's like surrounding you.
And then also there's stuff to do with the seats. They move and stuff.
They rumble. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And there's smoke stuff and whatever. Anyways, it's amazing.

Speaker 3 The thing that I think is the biggest technical accomplishment is the 100,000 plus speakers that are in the building that are directed at every single seat in the same way. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So that you, no matter where you are, can hear, have the exact same audio experience, which is like a live music lover's dream because we all know that depending on where you are and what venue it is, there's some seats that are better than others of course for the sound yeah like i kind of know where to sit inside of the state farm arena in order to have a good experience i kind of understand if you you know in a outdoor venue where you should stand to hear something well uh the fox theater exactly the fox theater is one of those few places i think where you pretty you have a pretty good seat no matter what unless you're sitting behind a post But here's the point.

Speaker 3 The point is, is like that's a, that, that is amazing that this guy had this dream, went a billion dollars over budget, and managed to ride it out to bring together one of the most amazing venues or the most amazing venue that has ever been created.

Speaker 3 And the experience is worth all of the hype. And I think I can't wait to experience it.
I'm really excited. And to answer you, yeah, I saw Anima or whatever it is.
I saw a bunch of those videos.

Speaker 3 With like the robot thing coming in and looking and, oh my God, I was, I just, I loved it. It's, yeah, there, I mean, everybody in the audience was taking a video of this.

Speaker 3 So that part might have annoyed me a little bit, but there are millions of videos out there. Christine's looking at one right now.
It's so cool. It is so fucking cool.

Speaker 3 And I had no idea this Annie Ma or whoever it was even existed. Me either.
I thought, I literally thought when I breezed by the article that it was Enya. And I was like, Enya, good for them.

Speaker 3 I can't even believe they're still alive, let alone making it. No, he's like an Italian-American.
Yeah, DJ. Yeah, and quite amazing.
Anyway, so here's the reason why

Speaker 3 I even brought EDM up is because EDM saw a 17% increase in global revenue in general, the category of music in live entertainment and

Speaker 3 sales and streams and all that. So $17.5 billion industry right now.
Some of the largest outdoor shows, some of the largest festivals are EDM.

Speaker 3 When everybody seems to be suffering a little bit, except for, of course, Mempho, when everybody seems to be suffering a little bit in the live music industry, electronic dance music is not.

Speaker 3 But here is a weird thing that is happening. There is now fewer late night, overnight clubs to go to dance clubs to go to than any time in the last 40 years.
They're closing at a rapid rate.

Speaker 3 People do not or are not raving anymore. They're not going overnight, you know, they're not going late night to clubs to see this EDM, to see the dance music like they used to in droves.

Speaker 3 So while everything else is kind of seeing a boost, a boom, including daytime live EDM shows. Yeah.
Anytime.

Speaker 3 You know, I see this, they like this, these people in New York have put together this sober rave, the morning sober rave. Have you seen that? I saw that.
Yes. Yeah, the silent disco one.

Speaker 3 No, this is a different one, but they do have silent disco too. I have a friend who got in on the silent disco thing early.
He worked at SimCole FM, the fashion plate. Remember Chris Martin?

Speaker 3 The fashion plate? He got in early on it, bought into one of those businesses.

Speaker 3 And every other day, he's at a church, he's at a conference, conference, he's at a rave, he's somewhere with those headphones, thousands of them giving them out to people.

Speaker 3 He must be fucking killing it. His business must have grown 10x because he's really doing well for himself.
But these sober raves, these people on Instagram started inviting people.

Speaker 3 Like, you know, they'll invite them the night before to this location the next morning, sober morning rave. Yeah, before you go to work.

Speaker 3 And before they go to work, and they go and they dance, and then they go to work and probably go happy to work. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 You got a little bit of the, you know, you got a little bit of the fussies out. Yeah.
You got the endorphins going.

Speaker 3 I would argue that everybody's sober, but you know, that's just me. You know, I'm sure there's a few people.
You're still up for the day. You're still up from the night before.

Speaker 3 There's got to be a few. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But when I was in my early 20s, while I admittedly did not do this every night of the week, I used to love to go to those clubs in downtown Atlanta, you know, twice, three times a month and go listen to

Speaker 3 electronic dance music. Did you know that I was for a while was an EDM promoter

Speaker 3 did you know this

Speaker 3 the many machinations of bronze the onion the lives you have lived

Speaker 3 if you had to put a gravestone with all of my professions on it

Speaker 3 it'd be like the Washington Monument

Speaker 3 was this before or after 33 Willie this was after 33p but before Lestrada it was sometime in that weird space right there there. Before 33p.
No, after 33p.

Speaker 3 No, 33p was when I was like 16 years old, 17 years old. That was, I was a baby then.

Speaker 3 You went from Eddie Vetter to EDM? That's right. I, I, it's a natural transition.
Chrissy, I'm telling you what, it was a weird time to be alive, and Brian was as weird as possible.

Speaker 3 And I, I think I just see like, I'm one of those guys who hops on the trend seven days after it already has peaked and started, you know.

Speaker 3 That's right. I I buy Bitcoin at a hundred thousand, it goes back down to 60.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 Actually, altcoin is one of the only things that I've predicted correctly. But anyway,

Speaker 3 I met a couple of guys at a restaurant that I was working at, and one of them was

Speaker 3 likened himself a D, a DJ back when Gay Raj. He liked himself.
He likened himself. I'll say likened himself a DJ because he used to put C Ds of mixed music together and we used to

Speaker 3 give them out.

Speaker 3 And I helped.

Speaker 3 I helped promote some of his shows.

Speaker 3 How did that go? It didn't go well because not many people showed up. And then one time I put together a fashion show/slash EDM concert.

Speaker 3 And the only thing I got out of it was to see some girl's boobs because she changed in front of me. That was the only thing.
I got no money. It was worth it.
Yeah, it was worth it.

Speaker 3 It was one down at this Buckhead Club. But for a minute there, I saw the EDM.
You likened yourself to an EDM. I likened myself to an EDM.
EDM promoter. It was fun while it lasted.

Speaker 3 And guess what the name of the company was that I created? Oh my God, I can only imagine. Jam Land Productions.

Speaker 3 Jam Land Productions. Goes right along with that EDM

Speaker 3 flavor.

Speaker 3 Presented by Jamland.

Speaker 3 Presented by Jamland Productions. DJ's shit for brains.

Speaker 3 And the cone of insecurity. And the cone of insecurity.

Speaker 3 And starring. And on the turntables.

Speaker 3 The world's lamest 54-year-old white man.

Speaker 3 We had this guy. He was a hippie.
He was like a way hippie. And he was very not smart.
He was like, his brain was fried. He would be like,

Speaker 3 and he sold cocaine for like a living. That's what he did.
But he decided that he was going to get it on Jamland Productions, that he could do the turntables. And he got up one night.

Speaker 3 He got up one night last. There was no one in the club.
It was like a Monday night. A Monday.
Chrissy, it was like a Monday night. It was the only night we could convince anybody to give us a night.

Speaker 3 And so we put together a fashion show. That didn't work.
We had DJ shit for brains play. That didn't work.
There was like seven people in the club. Most of them were employees that were off.

Speaker 3 You know what I'm saying? Like employees that weren't working. It was really terrible.
But the guy promised us a month.

Speaker 3 So on the fourth week, the guy who we at the DJ whatever, who was going to spin, who actually probably could have brought 10 or 15 people into the door because he kind of had been doing this for a while, he decided mysteriously to cancel.

Speaker 3 He was like, I'm sorry, guys, can't do it.

Speaker 3 And so we got this guy, Pete, the hippie, the 54-year-old, long-haired, tie-dye wearing, sandals covered. I mean, he wore sandals

Speaker 3 everywhere.

Speaker 3 There was no place else to go with it. We needed somebody.
And literally, the guy brought a tape player, plugged it in, and started playing live

Speaker 3 shows.

Speaker 3 And he tried to spin a record on top of it. At least nobody was there.
Hey, listen, he was being creative. I'll give it a break.
Ruin your reputation.

Speaker 3 So we got like, so we got for this, we got like 20% of the door,

Speaker 3 which equal zero dollars every night, every all four of those nights. And then we also got a hundred dollar bar credit, which I would burn through in like a first act.
Oh, of of course.

Speaker 3 Because I'd be buying drinks for girls that were, you know, I just was like. Around on me.
Hey.

Speaker 3 I was like. I'm with Jamlam.
Yeah. Hey, Jamland Productions.
Put it on the Jamland tab. You should have seen these bartenders.
They were like, I've seen a million of you.

Speaker 3 And you're making me work on a Monday night for no money. And you're not going to tip me.
How do I know that? Because you can't afford to buy drinks.

Speaker 3 I would come in and I'd be wearing like a hue-bara, like a Cuban short-sleeved shirt in the middle of winter,

Speaker 3 pants that were too big because I couldn't afford them. Yes, Birkin stocks.
I'd come walking in like a, like a, like, you know, Mr. Club,

Speaker 3 and I'd be like, get the lighting on.

Speaker 3 Where's the speaker? Who got that? Are the girls ready?

Speaker 3 Yeah, do we have any dancing girls? Where's the smoke machine? I'd go in there, like, I took charge of the place.

Speaker 3 One time I walked back in the office of the club. Oh, I bet they love that.
And the guy goes like this. The manager goes,

Speaker 3 like this. He just wagged his finger at it.
No, no, no, no. Yeah, and I go, oh, I just had a question.
And he was like, no, no, no. I'll be out in a minute.
This is for management here. Management.

Speaker 3 You're just a shithead that's making us no money.

Speaker 3 And so I was flying around the club talking to seven, you know, trying to make him, you know, I was the guy.

Speaker 3 I was doing nothing, actually. It's probably what I was doing.

Speaker 3 Sweating.

Speaker 3 I had got four nights and none of them had worked out. I was so bad at this.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 3 And, you know, once the guy plugged in the tape player to play his old Grateful Dead, I just, I didn't even ask for an offer. San Francisco 78.

Speaker 3 San Francisco 78 plus NYA.

Speaker 3 Put it together. Wiki, wiki, week.

Speaker 3 Oh, picture. Chug and magnolia.
Damn it,

Speaker 3 shine. Wiki, wiki, week.

Speaker 3 Drops of essence.

Speaker 3 So let me explain that once that guy got on there and he actually tried to mix the Grateful Dead live shows into with a beat, it was all over. It was game over.

Speaker 3 The manager came over to me and he was like, What is this? And I go, Well, listen, he's got kind of this new style.

Speaker 3 It's like a little bit, he's trying to mix the jamming with the, and he's like, I don't think this works, man. And I was like, well, what do you want me to do?

Speaker 3 I mean, you know, we had our guy cancel on us. So, do you mind if he just kind of plays it out? Just noodles.
The club closed at 2 a.m.

Speaker 3 This guy maybe started at 10.30 p.m.

Speaker 3 The club mysteriously had to close at midnight.

Speaker 3 But to be fair, there was no one there to close the club with. Not a one person.
Not one. Everybody scattered.
The seven people that were there scattered.

Speaker 3 Listen, I don't claim to be a business genius. Just look at the commercial break.
But I will tell you this. At least I've tried.
Okay? You have. I've dabbled.
At least I've tried. What's that?

Speaker 3 I've dibbity-dabbled. Oh, man, did I dibbity-dabble?

Speaker 3 Hey, man, can that $100 go toward cocaine?

Speaker 3 I've got a credit. Yeah, do you have any coke?

Speaker 3 I got a bar credit. Can I transfer that to the guy at the end of the bar who's clear selling cocaine? Is that okay with you?

Speaker 3 How about giving me a tip, asshole, and then we'll talk. All right, bro.
Don't get all upset. Another Bud Light.

Speaker 3 That's the other thing. The club guy drinking butt light, running around with a Bud Light in his hand.
What an asshole I was. You did have your Cuban shirt on.

Speaker 3 True. I did have my Cuban shirt on.

Speaker 3 I've been a real asshole in my life. That's what I'm coming to realize.
I'm kind of a jerk off.

Speaker 3 When you get older, you realize. I'm going to try this, try that.
Yeah, when you get older, you realize that all those things you say about yourself,

Speaker 3 they're true.

Speaker 3 All right, well, we'll try again tomorrow. Why not? Yes, we will.

Speaker 3 Gustavo going to come in and make an appearance next week. Don't miss out on it.

Speaker 3 TCB infomercial for you on Tuesday.

Speaker 3 We had guests lined up, up, but at least one of them is canceled because of the wildfires.

Speaker 3 I hope everybody's okay. Yeah, we didn't get a chance to talk about that, but I hope everybody's doing okay out in Los Angeles.
Our agents out there, people that we know. So, God bless.

Speaker 3 I hope every that's crazy. That is apocalyptic.
That is apocalyptic. I know, it's so scary.
I can deal with ice and snow. Fire, that's scary.
I don't want anything to do with that.

Speaker 3 So, God bless you. If you're out in Los Angeles, let us know you're okay.
Dial us up 212-433-3 TCB. 212-433-3822.

Speaker 3 questions comments concerns content ideas

Speaker 3 job ideas for Brian what's next

Speaker 3 we'll take them all right there at the phone number you can also leave us a voicemail if you're so brave ccbpodcast.com that's where you find all the audio all the video

Speaker 3 It's all there right there on the website. So if you're a browser kind of person, feel free to browse.
Go browse. Except the naked attraction one.

Speaker 3 Except the naked attraction one, which will you maybe that's where we should post it is on the website. With a like, you must be 18 to view this kind of thing.

Speaker 3 So, but don't mind our spelling. One of my brothers just texted me.
I was looking at you.

Speaker 3 Did you see that? I did.

Speaker 3 Did my brother text you too? No, I just saw it when I looked at the show today. Oh, you did? I was like, did they mean that? I don't think we meant that.
Oh, you mean on the website?

Speaker 3 No, like on our podcast thing.

Speaker 3 I'll tell you. Okay, anyway.
No, my brother was pointing out a typo in our actual website. He's like, I think you misspelled this.

Speaker 3 We'll get it right. It's only been up there for a year.
We'll get it right eventually. Don't worry about it.
All right, add the commercial break on

Speaker 3 Instagram. TCB Podcast.

Speaker 3 On TikTok.

Speaker 3 I'm wondering where Pete went. Whatever happened to Pete.
Yeah, well, I was going to ask you, did you ever see what happened to him? I know. I know what happened to Pete.

Speaker 3 He actually bought Jamland Productions. He bought it from us for $500

Speaker 3 and a gram of cocaine.

Speaker 3 And youtube.com/slash the commercial break for every single episode of the commercial break now on video. So go ahead and check that out.
We certainly would appreciate it.

Speaker 3 Subscribe, like on your favorite videos. Do us a favor.
All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now. I think so.
But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you.
Best of you.

Speaker 3 And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we will say, we do say, and we must say.
Goodbye.

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