Hit 'Em With The Helicopter

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Speaker 3 Do you have a dry? I'm doing dry January.

Speaker 1 Say it.

Speaker 4 That's fine. I would love a dry savi bee.

Speaker 1 Sonia Blanc. I do have it.
Nice and dry.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We'll do a bottle. A bottle? Right.
For the dry January.

Speaker 1 On this episode of the Commercial Break.

Speaker 1 That is fascinating. It really is fascinating.
And like we mentioned yesterday in the show,

Speaker 1 these are not supermodels around the show. Obviously, there are some good-looking human beings on there.
But by and large, this is like just a, these are regular people. A juda.
A child. A chef.

Speaker 1 Your neighbor. The girl at the gas station.
That guy with a small penis.

Speaker 1 The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Speaker 1 I get ass. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens.
Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Gray.
And this is the voice of reason in the room, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.
Hey,

Speaker 1 best to you out there in the podcast universe. Can I say that I'm very proud of Keanu Reeves?

Speaker 1 It seems Keanu Reeves can do no wrong, and he's honestly maybe one of the few good humans left on this earth. And that

Speaker 1 includes me. Like, I'm not one of the good humans on Earth.
I'm saying, of all the humans on Earth, Keanu seems like one of the good humans. He does.

Speaker 1 He's he's constantly doing the right thing he's constantly taking care of those around him stopping and taking pictures and giving you know showing up at charity events and giving the children what they want and he just seems like a really good dude like a guy who cracked the matrix like honestly went into the matrix came out understands how to do it how to be a good human being how to do the right thing in most circumstances how to say the right things how to be honest and organic in almost every situation he had an excellent adventure he had an excellent adventure i mean if all the actors, if you would have gone back to 1988 and all the actors, you could have said they're going to end up being one of the most famous, well-loved, well-known actors ever in the history of cinema.

Speaker 1 Keanu Reeves would be the last person you would have picked. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure was the worst acting in the history of cinema.

Speaker 1 Maybe not the worst, but pretty close to the worst acting in the history of cinema. Even though we all loved the movie,

Speaker 1 it did not age well. And as an adult, you can clearly see how ridiculous that movie is and how terrible those two are at acting.
Keanu Reeves doesn't,

Speaker 1 like, it was, I just would have never imagined that he would be the guy we all love and adore.

Speaker 1 I mean, he's lovable, even in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, but he's, I just wouldn't have imagined him being this guy that he, this man that he's turned into, that he's quite amazing

Speaker 1 in every way.

Speaker 1 He acts like it. I don't read a bad fucking thing about the guy.
I know. He's always out there kissing the,

Speaker 1 shaking hands and kissing babies, making love to the camera, looking good, acting well. What happened?

Speaker 1 How do we get whatever Keanu has? And man, that skin. Can we talk about that skin? Amazing.
He's beautiful. He's a beautiful man.
I love him. I have a man crush on Keanu Reeves.
Join the club.

Speaker 1 We all love Keanu. She's Pan and she loves Keanu.
Kapan. Yeah, Gapan.
She's gay Pan.

Speaker 1 Christina's gay pan and she loves.

Speaker 1 See, she only loves people for the right reasons. Keanu is my perfect little prince.
Yes. He's my little prince.
You love him. She would go straight for

Speaker 1 you're damn right I would. Hey, listen,

Speaker 1 I would hit you over the head with a pan, with a gapan if you said you weren't. All right, so

Speaker 1 let me explain why

Speaker 1 this has been solidified in my mind forever and ever. For the first time that I can remember, I saw a picture of Keanu with his girlfriend.
Uh-huh. And his girlfriend

Speaker 1 is age-appropriate. Oh, yeah.
How is this even possible? I've been with her for a long time. How is this possible? How did Keanu Reeves get an age-appropriate girlfriend? It's unbelievable to me.

Speaker 1 Are they married? I think they are. I think it said girlfriend, but I could be wrong.
I thought that maybe they got married, but

Speaker 1 they've been together for a long time. Oh, have they? This is the first picture I've ever seen of Keanu and his girlfriend.
They were on a red carpet somewhere, and she is perfectly age-appropriate.

Speaker 1 He's in his 50s. She's in her 50s.
They look lovely together. She's a beautiful woman.
He's 60. He's 60.
Yeah. He's 60.
Yeah. And I don't think he's married.
Fuck you, Keanu.

Speaker 1 You're 60 and you look like that.

Speaker 1 God damn. Not a bit of, I mean, maybe a little Botox here and there, but there can't be a bit of plastic surgery on that guy.
He just looks great. He looks great.

Speaker 1 And his girlfriend is beautiful and she's in her 50s. Got to be in her 50s.
51, I think. 51.
Perfectly age-appropriate. She's an artist.
Yeah. Yeah.
She's

Speaker 1 got gray hair. Alexandra Grant.
Yeah. Alexandra Grant.
Wow. Wow.
I mean, if you molded someone in a PR machine. I mean, nine years age-appropriate.

Speaker 1 Nine years at 60 is perfect. I think that's perfectly age-appropriate.

Speaker 1 At 60, it's fine. At 20, it's not.
Yeah, Bezos is dating someone who's like 32, and he's 76 years. I mean, just

Speaker 1 not even get into this.

Speaker 1 The

Speaker 1 disparity in age between most Hollywood actors and their girlfriends. Look at Leonardo DiCaprio.
As soon as they turn 26 years old, they're out the door.

Speaker 1 He changes girlfriends like I change toilet paper rolls. I mean, the guy,

Speaker 1 and no knock against Leonardo. Like, I don't think he's doing anything illegal.
No. And that's just the way he rolls.
He seems to have a type, and the type is young models, right? That's it.

Speaker 1 And they don't seem to be complaining. You don't ever hear these ladies coming out and saying he was abusive or anything like that.
But it's clear that Leonardo is a coxman.

Speaker 1 He's like a Warren Beatty of our time. He's just dating young, beautiful women all the time.

Speaker 1 To see that Keanu Reeves is dating someone in their 50s when he's 60 and so incredibly good looking, so incredibly handsome, so incredibly rich, just so well put together makes me believe that Keano actually is a good person.

Speaker 1 Substance. For the right reasons.
The substance. That's the substance that I want.
That's the guy that I want. Yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 1 what else can we say about, I mean,

Speaker 1 what's your favorite Keanu Reeves role? Oh, I mean, I got to love The Matrix. I love Point Break, too.
Point Break's pretty good. Point Break is pretty good.

Speaker 1 Point Break is the break, in my opinion, for Kiano. It's like where he went from kind of jokey,

Speaker 1 yuck it up, slapstick kind of comedian to, okay, he can maybe take on a semi-serious role. But The Matrix clearly makes him a star.
Do you know who was supposed supposed to play

Speaker 1 uh the guy in the matrix

Speaker 1 neo do you know take a guess

Speaker 1 was it like another actor of that time will smith will smith will smith was was originally intended for the role of neo in the movies the matrix what happened he did not uh something about he did not feel like he wanted to work he didn't want to do that like on a neo science fiction or something like that okay um he's also doing a million other shows or movies at that point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was. So he turned down the roles.
I'm sure that he's kicking himself in the paws that he didn't take on those roles, but you couldn't see anybody else in the role. No, not now.

Speaker 1 I mean, that kind of dumb gashaw, awestruck seriousness about Keanu Reeves

Speaker 1 and the way that he took on the role physically. It just makes it so impressive

Speaker 1 in every way that I just don't imagine anybody else was in that role. I mean, that's got to be the hard part about being a really well-known actor actor or actress in Hollywood.

Speaker 1 You get offered all of these parts, and then you have to turn some down, or you don't get some, it doesn't work out for whatever reason. You know, it's not working on your timeline.

Speaker 1 And then you see somebody else who embodies the role and makes an iconic movie out of it. That's got to make you feel in some way.

Speaker 1 Not, I don't know about jealous, but some kind of disappointment's got to run through your head. What did I miss out on?

Speaker 1 What did I miss out on? I think it was

Speaker 1 Matt Damon.

Speaker 1 I believe Matt Damon was off, if I'm not mistaken, was offered the role in the Avatar movies and he turned it down.

Speaker 1 But that he had been offered not only the Avatar movies, but he had been offered 10% of the gross of the movie.

Speaker 1 And Matt Damon has said before, you will never meet an actor who has turned down more money than I have. I mean, can you check that? If it's Matt Damon

Speaker 1 turned down which role

Speaker 1 he would have made $250 million by accepting a role in Avatar. Oh my god.
He couldn't betray his Jason Bourne family. Oh, yeah.
Teddy was in all those. Hold up.
Hold up.

Speaker 1 But he couldn't leave Jason Bourne. Yeah, read this a little bit.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Matt Damon's decision to turn down James Cameron's 2009 space epic Avatar, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, remains one of the more infamous casting what-ifs of recent blockbuster history.

Speaker 1 He turned down the film despite an offer that included receiving 10% of the box office backend, which would have meant a $250 million payday for him. Holy shit.
Holy shit.

Speaker 1 I think he's doing okay, though. No, I mean, Matt Damon's not hurting.
I think for those Bourne movies, he probably made $250 million. Those movies are so good.
They are.

Speaker 1 That's another one where you, and I know there are, there are other actors who have been in the Bourne series,

Speaker 1 like that guy who got chopped up by the snowplow. What was his name? Jeremy Renner? Jeremy Renner.
Jeremy Renner took a turn in the Bourne movies, but I don't think he was Jason.

Speaker 1 No, he wasn't Jason Bourne. He was like another

Speaker 1 offshoot of the Bourne Identity. All right, we're back from a break.
My daughter had to prance in here and do a little twirl for us.

Speaker 1 I think Jeremy Renner played an offshoot of one of the born identities, but largely I think Matt Damon is known as

Speaker 1 the Born guy. And he is so, that's another one of those iconic movie roles, right? Don't imagine anybody else.
And that's another guy you would say, how is Matt Damon going to be a super action star?

Speaker 1 But he ended up being a super action star.

Speaker 1 The reason why those two movies are so intensely good, Matrix and The Born Identities, is the way that they filmed fight scenes were completely revolutionary.

Speaker 1 And I think to anybody, even people who don't like action films, it's so pleasing.

Speaker 1 I say pleasing, but it's so

Speaker 1 eye-candy to watch the way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's so intense. When I watched the first Born movie, I had never seen anything like it.
I was like, wow, that's intense. They are really good.

Speaker 1 Speaking of the way they fight film scenes, whatever happened?

Speaker 1 The way they film fight scenes. Whatever happened to the guy who was,

Speaker 1 do you remember the dude who was in the Will Smith movies, the Chinese guy who would

Speaker 1 Jackie Chan? What happened to Jackie Chan? Did he like age out of the movies? I think he's still around, but maybe he just made enough money. Christina's going to be a little bit more.

Speaker 1 He's probably straight to DVD at this point, I would imagine. How old is Jackie Chan? He's 70.
Oh, well, then that answers that question. You can't do that shit for too long.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What was the last big movie he was in? Rush Hour? Right on On in 2023. What, right on in 2023? He was in an action.
Hang on, Karate Kid Legends 2025. Oh, okay.
Oh, we all saw it. Another Karate Kids.

Speaker 1 Still moving and grooving. Yeah.
We all saw Karate Kid Legends. Wow.
Legends. Still moving and grooving.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's anyway. I just back to Keanu Reeves.
I mean, I have to say, Keanu Reeves is

Speaker 1 such a stud. And

Speaker 1 I would have that guy on this show. It would be the honor of my lifetime to sit and talk to Keanu Reeves.
But because he is a good guy, he's never going to come on the commercial break.

Speaker 1 This is true. Yeah, he must have a fantastic PR firm, an agent that really guides him in the right ways because you don't see him on these weird, you know, offshoot podcasts.

Speaker 1 You don't catch Keanu Reeves on Theo Vaughn. You know what I'm saying? Speaking of Theo Vaughn, drama drop on the Brianna Chicken Fry

Speaker 1 situation.

Speaker 1 She wore a revenge dress

Speaker 1 to the Golden Globes. Oh, she did? And I do have to say.
Why is Brianna Chicken Fry at at the Global? I don't know. But she was with her host guy.

Speaker 1 Oh, what's his name? John John. No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 No, I can't remember. The guy who owns Bar Sewell Sports.

Speaker 1 What's his name? Dave Portnoy. Dave Portnoy.
Was she with Dave Portnoy? Is that who she was with? She was with somebody else. That's her.
I don't know. She was with somebody else, I think.

Speaker 1 She puts on a busty display. That's what

Speaker 1 that was the revenge dress. Okay, so do you remember when I told you that Brianna Chicken fry and her the co-host of her um

Speaker 1 of her podcast is that dave no well it is now that she's on barstool sports podcast but then she had another

Speaker 1 podcast brianna chicken fry and whatever her name i was so into this for a minute and then i decided

Speaker 1 you had enough and then i decided i had enough chicken fry i was kind of like well all right there's enough chicken fry so brianna and her um

Speaker 1 and her co-host of that very popular podcast they split up. The co-host went and announced that she was going to then be on the Call Her Daddy network, her own podcast.

Speaker 1 And then she showed up on Theo Vaughn and made mention of why the two of them had split up. I don't know about why, but what she said was, we're going through a rough spot.

Speaker 1 And I would imagine that as best friends, everybody goes through a rough spot and someday we'll make up. She took a very...

Speaker 1 politician's view toward this whole situation. So I think that we can officially say, at least for right now, that the chicken fry drama may not yield any more drama drops anytime soon.

Speaker 1 And we'll have to wonder just how long the chicken fry persona stays in the lexicon. Have you

Speaker 1 Christina? Have you heard the new podcast? No. No?

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 1 Well, once again, the commercial break is the place to find all the hip information. We don't even know her name.
Sorry.

Speaker 1 What was her name?

Speaker 1 Grace? Grace. Grace.
Brianna and Grace. That's right.
And so, but I mean, I wish all the best to Grace. I hope that that podcast does really well for her.

Speaker 1 I can't imagine that you get on the Call Her Daddy network and your podcast doesn't do well. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now I'm just googling Grace at Grace O'Malley Barstool Sports. Grace O'Malley on Barstool Sports.
She left Barstool. She left the Brianna Chicken Fry podcast that she had.

Speaker 1 They were best friends since childhood. They split up, and now she's on Theo Vaughan doing kind of the publicity tour, I would imagine, is what's going on.

Speaker 1 And she's not saying much about why the split up, but she she is saying, you know, hey, listen, I believe that we'll smooth it all over. And that's true.

Speaker 1 Like, listen, friends, family members, we all get into little tussles and disagreements when it's so very public. It's got to be hard.
It's got to sting.

Speaker 1 It's got to be tough to wake up every morning and read about yourself in every trade, you know, every fucking pop star pop rag that there is

Speaker 1 that you and Chicken Fry are in some. And I would imagine that a lot of these tabloids put words in your mouth also.
They say things that aren't true. Friends of friends.
That's

Speaker 1 listen. I had my little taste of fame with the Venezuelan democracy drop thing.
And there are no tabloids at all that are looking for me. But I do have to say this, is that instantaneously...

Speaker 1 Like when you get a thousand comments on a reel, people start making assumptions real quick about who you are based on 30 seconds that they see.

Speaker 1 I can only imagine what it's like to have that times a million. And then your friends want to sell your information.
That's got to be the part that becomes really isolating when you get famous.

Speaker 1 That's so true. Is that now you don't know who to trust? You don't know who to trust.
Your friends want to talk shit. They want to sell it to a trade rag.

Speaker 1 They have pictures of you in their phone that they want to give to certain magazines for money. And,

Speaker 1 you know, let's be real about it. Like,

Speaker 1 if I was famous and you were famous, and then someone came to one of our friends and said, I'll give you $100,000 for photos from the birthday party a couple of weeks ago.

Speaker 1 That would be really hard to turn down, wouldn't it? Yeah, there's probably a lot of incriminating stuff up there about this.

Speaker 1 If tabloids were looking to pay anybody for pictures of me, I'm just going to say it right now. Do not be surprised about what may come out about Brian Gray.
It's going to be a shit show.

Speaker 1 Chrissy Cook's naked, for God's sakes. There's going to be back from our Clear Channel days.

Speaker 1 Thank God.

Speaker 1 Thank God BlackBerries were all the rage and really bad at taking photographs if they did at all.

Speaker 1 Thank God.

Speaker 1 Thank God the iPhone was like relatively new. Not a lot of people had, you kind of had to be rich to have an iPhone.
So not a lot of people had iPhones. Taking pictures with your phone was a chore.

Speaker 1 It was a big project.

Speaker 1 And it was in like, you know, four pixels. So, you know, it was all blurry.
You couldn't see anything. But if there were pictures.

Speaker 1 If there are pictures from Chrissy and I's Clear Channel days that we are not aware of right now, I certainly give anybody permission to sell them. God bless you.
They're yours.

Speaker 1 But I'm letting the audience know ahead of time and I'm putting this on celluloid for on the RSS feed forever and ever to live.

Speaker 1 Do not be surprised about any piece of information that comes out about me. It's probably true.

Speaker 1 And my penis is small. So those two things you should know right out the gate.
All right. Okay.
I'm just finished.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say it before I spray it. There you go.
All right. Speaking of Brian's penis,

Speaker 1 we talked yesterday about Naked Attraction, the show that has taken the world by the dating show that took the world by storm during the pandemic when Max decided they were going to put it on their platform.

Speaker 1 This is a show that comes out of the BBC or Channel 4 or something out there over there in the UK. And it is a show

Speaker 1 that really takes the idea of eye candy,

Speaker 1 kind of dating someone for what they look like to the next level as they show.

Speaker 1 It's a blind date show where they move the screen from your feet to your head one inch at a time, showing

Speaker 1 revealing well, it's just the legs, and then it goes. It's the kneecaps, it's the penis, it's the tips,

Speaker 1 yes, and it shows everything in high-definition 4K glory. Unlike, unlike those Blackberry pictures, it's going to show everything in 4K.

Speaker 1 And Chrissy and I are going to look at some penises when we get back.

Speaker 1 If you were wondering, obviously you were, yes, we did finally surpass 5,000 followers, but now here we are, thirsty for more. So follow us.

Speaker 1 We are at thecommercial break on Instagram and at tcbpodcast on TikTok.

Speaker 1 And we'd love you the most if you liked our videos and subscribed to our channel on YouTube at youtube.com/slash the commercial break.

Speaker 1 And if social media isn't for you, just go to our website tcbpodcast.com because everything we have ever done lives right there.

Speaker 1 Now, let's take a listen to our sponsors and then we'll get back to the show.

Speaker 2 This episode is sponsored by our longtime sponsor, Squarespace. I am working on a new project, Information TBD.
It's very secretive.

Speaker 2 It's very hush-hush around here because, you know, podcast secrets are a thing.

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Speaker 2 This is a company we trust. It's a product we use.
And there's one overarching reason why. It makes my life easier.
Go build yourself a beautiful website, squarespace.com/slash commercial.

Speaker 2 And thank you to Squarespace for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

Speaker 1 This is Free Range with Von Miller, the podcast where I step outside the lines and I take you with me.

Speaker 1 Each week, we're talking everything from the biggest stories around the league to the biggest stories off the field. This isn't your average sports podcast.

Speaker 1 This is game meets culture, locker room meets living room, and no topic is off limits.

Speaker 1 So if you're into good conversations that ruffle a few feathers, join me every Wednesday and follow Free Range with Von Miller everywhere you get your podcast.

Speaker 2 This episode is sponsored in part by Rula. You know, there was a time when I really needed therapy, but I could not find a therapist who took my insurance.

Speaker 2 I can remember feeling so stuck, like I had to choose between getting help and staying on budget. That's why I think what Rula is doing is so very important.

Speaker 2 Rula makes therapy accessible and affordable by partnering with over 100 insurance plans. The average copay is around $15 per session, and depending on your benefits, it could even be less.

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Speaker 2 You can start as soon as tomorrow, and Rula stays with you along the way, checking in, supporting your progress, and helping you feel seen and cared for.

Speaker 2 Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com slash commercial to get started.

Speaker 2 And after you sign up, you'll be asked how you heard about them. Please support the commercial break and let them know we sent you.
That's r-ul-a.com/slash commercial.

Speaker 2 You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget.

Speaker 1 Christina, right on those liners. Look at you.
Good for you. You're timely on those liners.
I like that.

Speaker 1 We're just listening to Christina's liner, which is when she breaks into the show and talks about where you can find us and stuff like that. Said 5,000 followers.
We did just reach 5,000 followers.

Speaker 1 Five years, 5,000 followers. I think that means at least 1,000 people a year have liked us.

Speaker 1 I believe it. I can feel it.
We're going to ride that Venezuelan wave

Speaker 1 to infamy. All right.
So yesterday we were talking about the show Naked Attraction. I mentioned that I really would like to review another one of those episodes.

Speaker 1 I managed to find one on YouTube, so we'll take a look at it. There's no other explanation.
I don't need to give you any other explanation except for this.

Speaker 1 Naked attraction is exactly what it sounds like. One contestant, male, female, sometimes it's gay, straight, trans, they come out and they stand in the middle of five boxes.

Speaker 1 Those boxes are screens, like light boxes, and they will slowly pull up the screen on that light box, revealing a naked person behind it.

Speaker 1 And the person in the middle, the person who's looking for a blind date, needs to decide based only on the genitalia. Yeah, they go straight up to the pelvis.

Speaker 1 yeah they go straight up to the goods and so uh let's take uh let's take a look

Speaker 1 oh the host is lovely i love her she's great

Speaker 1 in a time where your online profile defines who how and where you date we strip away the likes and the swipes leaving only the understanding only the penis is to be seen

Speaker 1 imagine if tinder just had pictures of penises up there imagine if you had to swipe right or left based on just a look of a penis. No one would ever date anybody.

Speaker 1 The birth rate in this country would go down.

Speaker 1 We have a more instinctive way to find love.

Speaker 1 But do you? But do you really?

Speaker 1 Can picking a partner based solely on natural beauty

Speaker 1 spouses

Speaker 1 help you find the one?

Speaker 1 Wow, this is the first time I have seen a vagina. Yeehaw.
Whoa. Okay.
That's a reveal right there. Have you seen that episode? Have you seen that episode? It was weird.

Speaker 1 I was like, well, I'm not surprised. This is the first time you've seen a vagina, sir.

Speaker 1 We like to start where a good date ends. Time to see some poon-poon.

Speaker 1 Time to see some poo-poo?

Speaker 1 Okay. That is.
Is that what he was calling poon?

Speaker 1 Poon-poon. Maybe he said poo-poo.

Speaker 1 You know, the worst word I've heard for a vagina is in that show, The In-Betweeners, when they call it clunge. Clunge.
I've never heard that.

Speaker 1 That's the most disgusting word for a vagina I've ever heard.

Speaker 1 Tonight, here we go.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 How do you go to a male strip club and just watch a wiener wangling around? It seems so strange to me.

Speaker 1 There's something so inherently beautiful about a woman's. Oh, look at that.
I just sucked the right perfect at the right place. A guy holding his cock.

Speaker 1 I just need to point out for everyone, just so you guys know, the screen is really close to my face. And I just need to report this to HR.

Speaker 1 Good luck with that. There is no HR here.

Speaker 1 Asteriden. Oh,

Speaker 1 Ryan's putting the pause button to use. Look at that.
Oh, God. What is that?

Speaker 1 Slick the lizard.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm looking for the dick. I don't want to suck for the first time.
I wanted to point out. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Okay, let me find a time when I can pause that does not include a penis.
All right, there we go. I just wanted to point out that the female body, in my opinion, is so inherently beautiful.

Speaker 1 It's just lovely and delicious. I know that's my personal preference, but the male body, it seems like the penis is just an afterthought in some ways.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Like an extra piece of skin that no one knew what to do with. Just throw it on there.
It's so weird and ugly.

Speaker 1 So I had 17.

Speaker 1 I've only got six now.

Speaker 1 I've never had a titwank before.

Speaker 1 We know it's what's on the inside that counts. He can make his cop move.
Oh my god. But you've got to like what's on the outside first.
Woo! Y'all want a full sex or legs?

Speaker 1 They're bangers, aren't they? So you're the queen of the brojo.

Speaker 1 Blimey.

Speaker 1 It's time to try dating in reverse. This is naked attractive.
Did anyone ever stop to think if this was really a good idea? Like if this really was a good idea? Obviously they're on season seven.

Speaker 1 Well, they're on season seven. The ratings must be through the roof.

Speaker 1 It's so outrageous.

Speaker 1 It's like a train wreck. You can't stop watching.
You know that what you're seeing just shouldn't be on television, but it is. And so it's fascinating.
It really is fascinating.

Speaker 1 And like we mentioned yesterday in the show,

Speaker 1 these are not supermodels that are on the show. Obviously, there are some good-looking human beings on there.
But by and large, this is like just a these are regular people. A jula.
A jula. A chef.

Speaker 1 Your neighbor. The girl at the gas station.
That guy with a small penis.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Naked Attraction, the show where we like to do it with the lights on. Inside each of these six pods, I've lined up a naked singleton.

Speaker 1 Only one of them will be picked up on a date, but who's doing the choosing? By the way, who is the host?

Speaker 1 Is she like some kind of sexologist or something? Is she a body expert? She seems to talk in a way where she understands what's going on with the body. And when does the host get naked?

Speaker 1 Has the host ever been naked? Hannah Richardson, is that her name? She's like, hell no, I'm not doing naked. Doesn't seem like there's much on her.
Oh, she's.

Speaker 1 Hold up. Someone has been replaced at some point in time.
Oh, no, this is her, though. Okay, that's her.

Speaker 1 She's just done a lot of hosting.

Speaker 1 She did a sex education show.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. And you know,

Speaker 1 over in Europe, they have done some sex education shows, which we have also talked about here on the show, which we, which I have also watched. Like, they did one in Denmark.

Speaker 1 They did one, I can't remember, maybe in Canada, in Australia.

Speaker 1 They have done some sex education shows geared toward teenagers that are incredibly graphic, that show actual penetration, how it's supposed to work, how you do it, in an effort, how to put on a condom, how to use a condom in action, in an effort to educate the public.

Speaker 1 Here in the United States, you go to church and, you know, they pretend like sex doesn't happen between anybody but two married people.

Speaker 1 It's kind of crazy, but I think they're taking the right approach over there. Yeah.
Because

Speaker 1 the only way you're going to do it is just like the only right way to teach someone about sex, to teach a young person about sex, in my opinion, is to tell them the good, the bad, and the ugly and to show them that sex is not a porn movie.

Speaker 1 Although I like to think sex is a porn movie, I am physically unable to hold Astrid up against a shower wall for 30 to 40 minutes. I'm physically unable to do anything for 30 to 40 minutes.

Speaker 1 I'm Jessica. I'm 28 years old and I'm Sari.

Speaker 1 She's a child education specialist

Speaker 1 on naked age.

Speaker 1 Why not get in front of a national or worldwide audience? In America, you're fired. She's canceled instantly.
In England, she's celebrated. My love life is a total shambles.

Speaker 1 I've been on about 50 dates and all of them, quite frankly, were a disaster. I've been lied to, I've been catfished, I've been ghosted, I've been cheated on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're not getting catfished on this one. Yeah, no, there's no catfishing going on here.
You're going to figure it out real quick.

Speaker 1 I'm the girl on the sofa with a glass of red wine singing all by myself.

Speaker 1 That's from Bridget Jones.

Speaker 1 Is that from Bridget Jones? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm the real life, Bridget Jones. Oh, look at you, Chrissy.
I love to play.

Speaker 1 You know your lonely single women movie. Your pair of buns in the oven.
Would be nice to find a man that can beat the batter.

Speaker 1 My friends and my sister would love me to meet someone.

Speaker 1 Do your friends and your sister also think it was a fantastic idea to have you go show your clunge on the passion.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Oh, there we go. I like a little bit of a purse.

Speaker 1 I might have a little bit of a gawk. This little face isn't so innocent.
I want to meet a man naked.

Speaker 1 Can I just share?

Speaker 1 Just like when you call the doctor's office and every single one of those messages says our options have recently changed, everyone says the same thing when it comes to their sex.

Speaker 1 I'm a little bit of a perv.

Speaker 1 Everyone says that because you don't want to be known as the guy who or the girl who just says, yeah, I like missionary styles. You know what I'm saying? It's such a cliche thing to say.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't think you'd be on here. What's that? Oh, I don't think you'd be on here.
No, you got to have a certain kind of screw loose to get on this television show.

Speaker 1 I need to open up my life and let a man in.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to the girl. Yeah, let's get to the penises, please.

Speaker 1 A gorgeous girl next door like you, still single. Come on.
I just meet idiots. And

Speaker 1 yeah, Bridget Jones. Can I also say, just like the doctor's just like the doctor's office message,

Speaker 1 when anybody who has a trouble dating life is always blaming everybody else for the trouble dating life. Do you know what I'm saying? That's true.
Just throwing that out there.

Speaker 1 Pritlier Samantha Jones. Oh.

Speaker 1 So why choose a date naked? I love being naked. I'm really comfortable in my own skin.
A little bit try before you buy,

Speaker 1 I think, as well.

Speaker 1 Oh, fair enough. Okay, now in front of you, you have got six coloured pods inside each.
She's like a kid in a candy store. She's so ready for the penises.
I mean, I would be nervous.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be there.

Speaker 1 It would be tough for me to do this.

Speaker 1 Naked. Unless it was for charity.
And for that reason, then I would do it. Right.

Speaker 1 Each of them has an attribute that you have said you find attractive. We're going to reveal them to you bit by bit.

Speaker 1 All you've got to do is whittle them down from six to one, just using naked attraction alone. Okay,

Speaker 1 are you this is insane when you think about it?

Speaker 1 I know we've kind of seen a few of these, so it, you know, we know what's coming, but this, when you think about this premise, it is just generally insanity.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 yes, can we please reveal the bottom half of the bodies?

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 straight to the dicks. So they pulled up the box.
They pulled up the screens all the way to like their belly button area. So now we've got six penises in front of us.

Speaker 1 That's the first time since the high school locker room that I've said those words.

Speaker 1 I mean, that is, they are largely uncircumcised. Am I right about that? There's like five uncircumcised men and one circumcised man.
I thought there were like four uncircumcised.

Speaker 1 That's what I said. Uncircumcised.
I thought you were, sorry. I thought it said the other way.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go look at Blue Fast, I think.

Speaker 1 A bit of a wiggle. This is what we do for work.
A wiggle. This is what we do for work.
A wiggle. Give me a wiggle.

Speaker 1 Side. I don't like anything that's too big.

Speaker 1 Okay. Once I did analyze,

Speaker 1 it's so close. It's so close.
We should have done the women.

Speaker 1 We should have done the women.

Speaker 1 I'm an equal opportunity. We did a woman last time, so I'm equal opportunity.
All right.

Speaker 1 And he went straight in and spit me. Oh.
Oh, Jesus.

Speaker 1 What is happening? What happened? Where did we go with this? Oh, my God. Is it time for a break yet? Can we fast forward to the women? All right.
Okay. Okay.
I'll give you a second here.

Speaker 1 I think we're going to take a break. We're going to...

Speaker 1 Do we need a break? No, not yet.

Speaker 1 Christina's got to get herself together. That

Speaker 1 shook me to the core. That is insane what she just said.
She split me. She split me right up the middle.

Speaker 1 That's an intense thing to think about. So let's do this.
Let's take a break. And then when we get back, we'll see if we can muddle through the rest of this episode.

Speaker 1 Now we know what we're working with with this lady. So she's she's not afraid of anything.
Yeah, and with the men. That's true.

Speaker 1 And by the way, not a good-looking penis in the bunch. Just throwing that out there.
All right, we'll be back.

Speaker 1 One of my new year's resolutions is to hear more of other people's drama. So help a girl out and tell us your drama at 212-433-3822.

Speaker 1 You can text it, or if it's extra juicy, leave us a voicemail with the full story. And don't forget to follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast.

Speaker 1 And watch our video episodes at youtube.com slash thecommercial break. But also, you can find everything I just mentioned and more on our website, tcbpodcast.com.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's listen to our sponsors and send us your drama.

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Speaker 1 Well, we did get to 5,000 followers, but I'm wondering how many of those followers we're going to lose after this episode. All right, we're watching Naked Attraction.

Speaker 1 You know it, because you didn't just jump into the middle of this episode.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's just continue, I guess. Here we go.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I had to go to the hospital. What did they do? They had to glue me slightly back together.

Speaker 1 Oh, that is

Speaker 1 my God.

Speaker 1 So she's back looking for more, but just not. Not too big.
Not too big. So we're keeping the small penises in mind here.

Speaker 1 Well, I volunteer.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 So, moving on. Marine.

Speaker 1 Quite like a circumcised wheelie. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know, there's something.
Can I just share this? There's something that's weird I find about other about penises in general. A lot of them seem discolored.
Do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Like they're different color than the actual skin of the body. And I understand why that is.
It's a different type of skin and it's, you know, works in different ways and has different blood flow.

Speaker 1 But I don't know. I find it really disconcerting when I see like a pale white man with almost a black penis do you know what i'm saying

Speaker 1 interesting

Speaker 1 sometimes it looks a little bit tidier yeah if you expect me to be tidy i expect you to be tidy

Speaker 1 oh really i expect you to mutilate yourself if i'm gonna get mutilated

Speaker 1 across to orange yeah but quite strong legs i don't like someone who's got too bigger legs because i like to be on top so you like to struggle boy yeah so you can't have legs that are too big no because then my hip go sometimes and get a bit crampered your hips go as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 This girl's a mess.

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess we have to remember that this girl did choose to come on Dan Naked Attraction.

Speaker 1 And Brian still can't get the name of the show right.

Speaker 1 Daily Naked.

Speaker 1 Red.

Speaker 1 Not a bad-sized penis. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, his legs.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's got one.

Speaker 1 Tattoo-y type thing. Ugly penis, man.
These are ugly. I'm sorry.
I just got to say this out loud.

Speaker 1 Love? Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's all very.

Speaker 1 I understand that circumcision in some ways is mutilation, but I think that generally,

Speaker 1 she's right. It looks tidier.
It looks neat.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's just what I'm used to. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Why do you have one tattoo

Speaker 1 there? And it's faded. And it's a tattoo of a penis, isn't it? No.
Oh, it looks like a cartoon character. Yeah, but I think it looks like he's in the process of getting it removed.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's good. Okay.
And the little star there.

Speaker 1 He just didn't make it by by the time he was going to be on national TV. Yeah,

Speaker 1 he tried. He tried.
It took longer than he thought. He tried.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's that yellow? It's nice. It's a nice size.
It's a good size. Yes.
It's like Cinderella's shoe, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll pause it on there. Hi, pink.

Speaker 1 He's got good balls. Quite solid, solid little solid balls.

Speaker 1 I would love to see.

Speaker 1 He's got good balls.

Speaker 1 Instead of big bones.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. This show is wrong in every way.
I know.

Speaker 1 Helicopter. Because I think that's really funny.

Speaker 1 Fellas, thumbs up if you're up for a proper helicopter.

Speaker 1 All right. Here we go.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Okay, some are doing better than others. Some are grabbing, some are swinging on their own.
Can I ask a question? Is this what goes on at a male strip club? Do they helicopter? First day of my life.

Speaker 1 I know. Sorry, Christina.

Speaker 1 It turns out fully gay. Yeah, turns out Christina is automatically gay.

Speaker 1 Turns out she didn't like penises in the first place, and she certainly doesn't like them now. No, I'm

Speaker 1 not even Keanu's. No.
Oh, okay. Screw you, Kiana.

Speaker 1 I feel physically ill.

Speaker 1 Oh, this, I do too.

Speaker 1 At least there's that. At least there's that.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Maybe we can get it to where they go up one more time. Yeah, can we just go up one more? Can we go to their chest now?

Speaker 1 That is excellent.

Speaker 1 She's got to get rid of them, buddies.

Speaker 1 Much as that was utterly hilarious,

Speaker 1 one of them has to go.

Speaker 1 Let's get rid of four of them.

Speaker 1 Can we get rid of four of them now?

Speaker 1 The guy with the tattoo has got to go.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Red.

Speaker 1 Red is out. Red is out.
See you later.

Speaker 1 That dick didn't qualify. Oh, there's a guy with a tattoo.
Oh, fair enough. I could be completely wrong.
Jessica, you were rebuy to get away from me. He's a redhead.

Speaker 1 He's 34 and he's a finance manager from Sheffield.

Speaker 1 Nothing like your client.

Speaker 1 Your client seeing me.

Speaker 1 He's a finance manager. Hey, can you move a million pounds into my wealth? Holy shit, I just saw your penis on national television.
Did you just helicopter your penis?

Speaker 1 Did you just helicopter your penis?

Speaker 1 Oh, well, I am a bit sure.

Speaker 1 thank you very much indeed see you later

Speaker 1 they just have to walk completely naked i know they have to do the perv walk yeah

Speaker 1 when they do the butt zoom in i know

Speaker 1 it's sad it is it is white guys when they get to a certain age most white guys and when they don't get to a certain age we just have a butt problem the butt problem is it's not a good look it's not

Speaker 1 Black men have, you know, they got those beautiful, you know, strong asses. White guys, we go in, they go go out.
It's bad. It's just bad.

Speaker 1 Got the salt up to your moves in the back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, to be fair to this guy, he doesn't look much better clothed.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 1 You've got five lovely men remaining.

Speaker 1 This is where you get to see the middle part of the body. Yeah, let's focus on something else for a second, please.
Go up.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Lots of tattoos. Yep, yep.

Speaker 1 Big nipples, small nipples, big bellies, small bellies, hairy. Not hairy.
Not hairy.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Wow. Oh, my God.
One guy has a picture of a baby, a baby reindeer logo right on his chest. That's crazy.
That was like full chest and torso. Yeah, that was a big tattoo.

Speaker 1 Why would you get a reindeer tattooed tattooed on a reindeer, I guess? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Maybe he'll explain. Yeah, I hope so.
Look at orange. Wow.
Do you like his chest? Yes.

Speaker 1 He's got that nice little V-line there. He's definitely got the V-line going on, hasn't he? He has.
The Victory V! The Victory V.

Speaker 1 Victory is for vagina. V is for victory in your vagina.

Speaker 1 Yellow. So you're liking sort of abs? Sort of do you want a dad bodge? I don't mind a little bit of a dad bodge.

Speaker 1 I'm not a gym fanatic. Like, I want it to be an even balanced.
Yeah, yeah. Like when someone looks at me out and scared me.
Okay,

Speaker 1 a picture of a cartoon, a tattoo of a cartoon with a shark on his back. It's not so often, yeah.
It's a shark.

Speaker 1 What are some people thinking when they get tattoos, honestly?

Speaker 1 I want Hans Housto and vice versa.

Speaker 1 When it comes to choosing a partner, most women will choose flab over abs. In a recent segment.
Well, that is good to know for

Speaker 1 74% of women in the UK felt self-conscious about their bodies and don't want to compete with a finely chiseled hunk. We prefer a dad bod to a rad bod.
And an on. I'm going to guess that 74%

Speaker 1 of women say they prefer a dad bod. But if a chiseled hot guy walked in the door and then Brian walked in the door, I think I'd lose every time.

Speaker 1 So then the Aussies, who celebrate with an annual dad bod competition involving a fitness test, a cat walk and a burger scoffing race. Bombs are what's a burger scoffing.

Speaker 1 I don't know. What's a scoff? I guess that's eating scoff.
Eating coconut. Okay.
Have a good bod. He looks like a swimmer.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you swim? No. No.
Do you play sport?

Speaker 1 Yes. Do you play basketball? No.
Rowing?

Speaker 1 Rowing. Rowing.

Speaker 1 Oh, there you go.

Speaker 1 Let's speak to Pink. That is a good exercise.
That's an exercise. I've got a lot of stance about him.
You're talking about the arms. Is there any other reason why you like a boy with strong arms?

Speaker 1 Well, I like to bake. Okay.

Speaker 1 What does this

Speaker 1 girl like? Everybody's like that.

Speaker 1 First of all, second of all, this guy's got the kind of body I can relate to.

Speaker 1 He's soft in the middle. You've got strong arms.
It means you've got a strong whisk.

Speaker 1 Shall we see what these guys are made of when it comes to their wrist whisk action? Yes, please. Okay, so the boys are standing there with a bowl of cream and a whisk.
So, we need to check out

Speaker 1 your whisk action and your strong arms. Whisk.

Speaker 1 Whip it, whiff it, whip it. What does this have to do with dating?

Speaker 1 All these dating shows, they have stunts and they're so stupid.

Speaker 1 It's like 90-day fiancé, the last resort, when they send him out to row and grab a basketball. How's that going to make your relationship stronger? Yeah.
Green, that's a disappointing action.

Speaker 1 Blue. He's turned it to butter.
Look at that speed of lights.

Speaker 1 Okay, fellas.

Speaker 1 Can you just turn your cream towards us, please?

Speaker 1 First, the size curved.

Speaker 1 Blue and butter.

Speaker 1 Orange good.

Speaker 1 Green.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Okay. Pink's good as well.
Yeah. Who stood out for you? Blue.
You just got really into it. Well done, fellas.
Thank you very much indeed. You've got five lovely men.
One of them has to go.

Speaker 1 Who's it going to be?

Speaker 1 I don't think we needed to whip butter to make a decision about who we like. You're making a decision based solely on their body.
That's it.

Speaker 1 I say, raise the curtain to chin level, give them a couple minutes to think about it. Pick two, ask them a couple questions, get on with life.

Speaker 1 Pink. Pink's out.
Pink's gone. See you later, pink.

Speaker 1 It's the hairy chest. There's a little bit of mum with my dad, and I hear what you're saying.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You are saying goodbye. Oh, God, if that reminds me of your dad, I'd probably remind you of your grandpa.
Well,

Speaker 1 he is 32. He's a rail plant engineer from Blackpool.
Oh, you've got such a lovely kid.

Speaker 1 Oh, Jessica. I'm going to go for a girl that remind me of my mum's soul.
You're right, man. I am so sorry.
Fair enough. Way to take it in stride.
Yeah. Yeah.
When the screen went up,

Speaker 1 the butt shot. It's the best.

Speaker 1 But I don't think she was really my type.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that's the other thing.

Speaker 1 Like, when some of these people make it through to the end and they finally see the person that they're going to date, you got to imagine a lot of these people go, uh, not for me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Coming up, Jessica bears all before choosing who to date. I'm gonna go with.

Speaker 1 And a brand new singleton gets to pick a partner based on naked attraction.

Speaker 1 Six stars. This is so crazy.
This is, this is so insane. This is like,

Speaker 1 I mean, honestly, this is probably my 20th episode of Naked Attraction, including a marathon that I saw in Ireland. And if we're really being, if I'm really just like bearing it all, no pun intended,

Speaker 1 it doesn't get any less shocking anytime that I see it. Every time.
Yes, every time. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 And even though I prefer the female form, like that's what I'm sexually attracted to, even with the women, it's so clinical and weird and close up sometimes, it can be disconcerting.

Speaker 1 Client support specialist Jessica whittled six men down to four.

Speaker 1 I thought it was child support specialist.

Speaker 1 Does make a difference. It does make a difference.

Speaker 1 It really does. Okay, I'm sorry, Jessica.

Speaker 1 She's going to go with the uncircumcised guy because that's what she prefers.

Speaker 1 So, who will she lose

Speaker 1 next?

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Before we crack on, just remind us, why are you here?

Speaker 1 I'm desperate. I'm desperate for a...

Speaker 1 I'm desperate for a wank.

Speaker 1 Bridget Jones. Okay.
And we need to bring out the Samantha Janes and me again. Oh, Crikey, is the world ready? Yes.

Speaker 1 In this next round, you get to see the boys' faces. Here we go.
Can we please see the boys' faces?

Speaker 1 Okay, they're all very different.

Speaker 1 Very different. Generally the same age, but all very different.
I'd say they're all in their 30s, probably. All relatively handsome gentlemen.
Honestly, start with the face. face.

Speaker 1 Pull it the other way down. I think that's what you do.
And because

Speaker 1 the face is going to be the thing that really ties this all together, right? You're not going to date someone just based on their penis. Right.

Speaker 1 So now it's the whole package.

Speaker 1 Yellow looks a bit cheeky.

Speaker 1 Come on, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, yellow.

Speaker 1 He is. He looks like he's got kind eyes.

Speaker 1 I've got a bit of a flutter there.

Speaker 1 You've got a flutter?

Speaker 1 When it comes to sexual attraction, a woman's vagina sometimes engages before her brain does, an increased flow of blood to the gym. Never has that ever happened to me.

Speaker 1 Results in that tingling sensation known as a fanny flutter.

Speaker 1 According to a recent study, some professions are considered more sexually attractive than others and likely to generate this fluttery feeling down below.

Speaker 1 Top of the tingles with one-fifth of the votes were the medical, legal and teaching professions.

Speaker 1 Where's the podcaster fall in that?

Speaker 1 Where does podcaster fall? Probably way down on the list. Workers were voted bottom with barely a flutter.

Speaker 1 Orange.

Speaker 1 Oh, you have a lovely smile. Handsome boy.
Yeah. There's a little something about him.
Top of the gigantic deer. Yes, yes, except for the gigantic weird tattoo on your chest.

Speaker 1 I like his hair, actually. Is it blonde all over? Yeah, it is.
You're not a natural blonde, are you? No.

Speaker 1 And then finally, we've got Groove. The weirdest part about this is they can't say anything.
So they're not responding. They're just nodding.
He's like a young lady.

Speaker 1 He's got a really kind face. Green, could you manage an older lady?

Speaker 1 You've seen the boys. You've seen their faces.
Yeah, the green guy looks really young.

Speaker 1 One of them has to go. Who's the rower? Who's it going to be?

Speaker 1 She's going to say green.

Speaker 1 Green.

Speaker 1 You said green. Yeah, I think she thinks he's too young.
You've seen his body? I know. You just look a bit innocent to me.
I feel like I might eat you alive.

Speaker 1 Well, Jessica, the man that you could have eaten alive is called Milan. He is 22.

Speaker 1 He's a philosophy student from Lincoln, but originally from Germany.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, he's like every girl's wet dream. He's a philosophy student with a grey body and a big dick.
Hey, hello.

Speaker 1 You look like a bit of a Prince Charming.

Speaker 1 But you'd ruin him, wouldn't you? Yeah. Guess we'll never find out.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 1 Wow. Snappy with a comeback.

Speaker 1 She was under the impression that I was a bit innocent. I would argue that she's probably mistaken.

Speaker 1 I guess if I looked like that, I'd show my dick too.

Speaker 1 In this next round, you get to hear them speak.

Speaker 1 Now, Jessica, I've heard that you have a party trick, and I believe that you can replicate the sound of a What do you think our video editor is going to think of this episode?

Speaker 1 I am just, you know, this is crazy that you're asking this because I was just thinking maybe I'm not going to ask this episode to be cut up on video.

Speaker 1 This may be one of the few episodes of the commercial break moving forward that you don't see on video for a number of different reasons. Mainly, HBO is going to block it anyway.

Speaker 1 They're going to, they're going to copyright claim this for sure because that's what they do.

Speaker 1 They're really protective over their content. And then I can argue that it's fair use and they will eventually let me show the video.

Speaker 1 But I'm worried that our video editor, I don't know him very well yet, right? And I'm worried that asking him to look at a bunch of dicks for an hour it's gonna get me in some kind of trouble

Speaker 1 yeah shall we have it

Speaker 1 what was that that's not a party trick that's just you being crazy that's just you scaring off all the boys

Speaker 1 when did you discover that you had this spectacular talent um from very young age i love dinosaurs well let's find out how the boys are going to impress you we would like you to make a noise from the animal kingdom.

Speaker 1 Tell us what that animal is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 Let's go with blue.

Speaker 1 Oh my god. He just did monkey noises and a monkey bounce.
Watch the voice.

Speaker 1 You north then slightly. Yeah, Warrington.
It's from Warrington. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go over Orange.

Speaker 1 Lion.

Speaker 1 Someone animal. That was a lion.
Has he never heard a lion? What kind of lion noise is that? You have a deer tattooed on your chest. You should be able to make animal noises, dude.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I have a deeper voice. Where's he from? I'm from Suffolk.

Speaker 1 Oh, lovely. What's that yellow? What does that have to do with anything? Christina, can you clue us in on that? Why Suffolk? Why is everyone excited about Suffolk?

Speaker 1 Is that like a fancy pond neighborhood? Maybe. Maybe.

Speaker 1 I don't have a noise. Because I am the animal.

Speaker 1 What accent have you got?

Speaker 1 From near Leeds. Near Leeds.
He's a Yorkshire lad. Yorkshire lad.
He's the kind of guy that needs to borrow a little rent money. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 He's very good.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 It's decision time. Oh, here we go.

Speaker 1 Who do you think? She's going to say goodbye to Blue.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say goodbye to Flu. Yeah, you've arrived.
Uh-huh. I've never seen this episode before, by the way.
I can't work him out, and it's bugging me. Jessica, we are saying goodbye.

Speaker 1 She doesn't like the way he looks, and he does have two trolls tattooed, like two mystical dungeons and dragon trolls tattooed on his chest. Let's be honest about it.

Speaker 1 If you're going to pick a dude, you know, most people probably would. Anyway, whatever.
23, and he is a chef from Warrington. Hence, that incredible whisk action.

Speaker 1 What kind of chef are you then? I'm a dessert chef. That's why your cream was excellent.

Speaker 1 You're on the wrong show. You should have been on Bake Off.

Speaker 1 Keep baking.

Speaker 1 And keep walking so we can get a hot shot of your ass. Baker.
Ah, actually, Jess isn't getting any of my cream today.

Speaker 1 All right. All right.
Damn it. Now let's move on.
You've seen them with their kit off. You've heard what they've got to say.
Next time you see them. Yeah.
You'll be in the nude. We'll see you shortly.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 You'll be in the nude.

Speaker 1 It's your turn. Now, go get nudes.
Yeah, now go disrobe. You think anybody helps them backstage? How do you think all that works out? It's like a PA standing there just watching you get naked.

Speaker 1 Does someone powder your puff? Do you know what I'm saying? Maybe. Yeah, maybe it's all makeup.
Yeah, do they like,

Speaker 1 yeah, if you're a little sweaty, do they like dial you off or you're a little oily? Everybody else is about to be. 22-year-old highway maintenance foreman, Bradley, and 30-year-old Winter.

Speaker 1 I sure hope one of my daughters walks in on me doing this episode.

Speaker 1 Charlie, but she can only choose one guy to go on that date to find out if there's chemistry when the clothes go on.

Speaker 1 Well, she picked you up inside, guys.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's true. She did.
Charlie, you've made it to the final, too. Congratulations, gentlemen.
Cheers. The last time.
Cheers,

Speaker 1 it was with her clothes on. Are you ready to see her naked? Absolutely.
Sorry, first.

Speaker 1 That's why I'm here. Okay, Jessica, come out, show the balls.
I wonder if they keep that studio really warm. Oh, yeah, they got to.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 You wouldn't want to be like most television studios, just like this studio, we keep it cool because the lights heated up real quick. But there, you probably let it,

Speaker 1 yeah, you got to.

Speaker 1 You have to. You want the penises to be shown in the best light and the tits and everything else.

Speaker 1 Where do they get all the licensing rights?

Speaker 1 Like, here in America, you can't play these songs because of the licensing rights, but the BBC and the Channel 4 and all that, they always seem to have the good music.

Speaker 1 Check out those buns.

Speaker 1 Incredible boobs.

Speaker 1 Are they natural? Yes. Amazing.
Beautiful figure. What do you like about your body? I love my boobs.
I like that I'm quite a womanly shape. She's got big boobs.

Speaker 1 Curves. You're a woman.

Speaker 1 okay fantastic i do love that she's that these these people seem generally very confident confident yes i mean you have to be to go on national television and show your ass and run bradley

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 charlie

Speaker 1 okay two beautiful specimens yes charlie what are you making of jessica's body gorgeous actually love big boobs a lot of fringe as well oh do you

Speaker 1 and how about you bradley i'm more of a bum person than a girl person yeah okay spend round spend round.

Speaker 1 I had a good look when she looked around before. Did you?

Speaker 1 He's missing a tooth. Did you see that? Did anybody else see that? He's missing a front tooth.

Speaker 1 Revolver. Very nice, yeah.
Nice and neat. Okay, now this time, you're picking the man you want to go on a date with.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Bradley

Speaker 1 or Charlie? She's going to go with Charlie. I think so too.
Both gorgeous. Even though the

Speaker 1 disconcerting deer tattoo that's all all across most of his body. It's intriguing, though.
Maybe we wouldn't get to the bottom of it. She likes him.
She's attracted to him.

Speaker 1 He looks like Bradley Cooper, actually, I think, a little bit.

Speaker 1 He does have a Bradley Cooper-ish look.

Speaker 1 Bradley.

Speaker 1 Oh, she went with the Toothless Wonder.

Speaker 1 I'm not getting an answer. I'm a bit cheeky.
Yeah. She keeps talking about him being cheeky.

Speaker 1 How are you feeling about that? Bit good, actually. You thought you were going to get in there? I thought I was.
Well, do you know what? You can't have your cake and eat it.

Speaker 1 So, Charlie, thank you very much indeed. Thank you.
Goodbye.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is not, you know, like some dating shows, you give them a hug on the way out the door, like the bachelor. This is not a place where it's appropriate to give a hug.

Speaker 1 Pretty go. And I like Freedom,

Speaker 1 but just wasn't to me, was it?

Speaker 1 He's really disappointed. Wow.

Speaker 1 Bradley, meet Jessica. Jessica, meet Bradley.
Hi.

Speaker 1 Hi.

Speaker 1 Hi,

Speaker 1 hi. Sorry about my half-heart.
I've been staring at your munge.

Speaker 1 Beautiful girl.

Speaker 1 Is Bradley going to get to see your naughty side?

Speaker 1 Hey? I'll fetch you out, will you?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 you're going to see each other. The kit is going to be back on.
Please have an amazing date. And I can't wait to hear how this one goes

Speaker 1 yeah well i think they show the date

Speaker 1 we'll watch this and then we'll yeah

Speaker 1 not not the whole date like just

Speaker 1 yeah just a snippet

Speaker 1 i like this

Speaker 1 so when bradley said i had a really nice thumb as well that oh okay have to have but a joke

Speaker 1 now they do show the where they meet drop your draw

Speaker 1 hello

Speaker 1 yeah yeah dress is nice first impressions but Bradley's dressed really well. Yeah, he dressed very smartly.
I like that. A usual type, but he does it really good.

Speaker 1 She's good looking, obviously. Very bubbly and I think we're onto a win-up.
Am I your usual type? Yeah. I like dark air.
Obviously, you've got a beautiful pair of boobs, but it's not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's gotta be weird. You see someone naked and then you're going out and meeting them for the first time.

Speaker 1 Or first.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm older. Bums ma'am.
I feel like Samantha Jones is coming out. I think the flirtatious side is coming out a little bit more.
I feel like Bridget is slowly going back in her box.

Speaker 1 What's the silliest thing you've ever done when you drink normal? But when drunk. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think it would be get naked on National Day.

Speaker 1 Do you like being naked? Yeah. I'm the same.

Speaker 1 Well, again, you would have to be. Yeah, I mean, you have to be.

Speaker 1 Moment, I think we're...

Speaker 1 vibing on that sense. We would like to be naked.
You have got good arms. I go to the gym quite a lot.
Whereas i bank and i just beat

Speaker 1 all doing

Speaker 1 what do you want favorite i need subtitles

Speaker 1 yeah me too like this guy's got a really thick british accent this is like um what do they call it a hackney accent is that hackney christina is that what they call it didn't he say he was what did he say he was northern

Speaker 1 i can't remember something like that what's hackney southern i don't know okay you know i fully expect that you're gonna know stuff about the united kingdom i know some things but i couldn't i couldn't really i would fully expect you would know things i do and That's the beautiful of Britain.

Speaker 1 I always am checking with Christina because I figure she's actually from the country, but then, you know, I got to remember, you moved here with me, what, three? I've lived here forever. Okay.

Speaker 1 That means you get to see me again as well.

Speaker 1 I fancy Jessica, yeah. I want to come on date if I didn't fancy it.
Do you think you'd like to see me? I like saying fancy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like it. I don't fancy that person.

Speaker 1 I'm so rubbish.

Speaker 1 She's drunk.

Speaker 1 I think the date's gone really well. He wants to exchange numbers, so be sure to see.
She is.

Speaker 1 Which we'll see. What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 You saw each other naked. You had a good time on the date.
What are you going to do? I mean, what's there left to do but get in bed and feel around? That's it. All right.

Speaker 1 We've taken this episode way too long. I should have cut it off when the penises

Speaker 1 came into view, but all right. We all got our dose of some penis.
Well, now I'm going to have to give Christina a quarterly bonus.

Speaker 1 All right, you may or may not find this episode on YouTube. That's no joke.
I think maybe we'll leave this one in the video can. In the video can.

Speaker 1 Just so I don't gross out half the episode, half the audience, if I haven't already. Well, thanks to all those Venezuelans who joined us on our YouTube channel.
It was nice having you.

Speaker 1 Nice having you.

Speaker 1 We'll see you on the next Venezuelan reel.

Speaker 1 All right, well, that's how the cookie crumbles. There you go.

Speaker 1 Wonder what Keanu's penis looks like now now I'm wondering circumcised or uncircumcised I bet he's uncircumcised I don't know why it's just a feeling that I have in my gut

Speaker 1 all right listen season number six is well underway I think we're finally building some steam

Speaker 1 oh my god our network must be so proud I can't wait for my next network meeting with the executives so do you think you could reduce the amount of times you say clunge in an episode? Sure, no problem.

Speaker 1 tcbpodcast.com that's where you find more information about the show all the audio all the video right there from one location tcbpodcast.com

Speaker 1 also you can get your free tcb swag like a tcb sticker and i've got some other stuff too i'm giving away i've got some extra t-shirts some old menfo stickers uh tcb mempho stickers that uh i'll be giving away so if you'd like one of those things just hit us up on the website go to the contact us button it says i want my free sticker.

Speaker 1 Give us your address. Tell us you want a sticker or a t-shirt or whatever.
And I'll try and send one to you just as soon as possible. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB Podcast on TikTok.

Speaker 1 And of course, youtube.com slash thecommercial break for most episodes

Speaker 1 up there on the video feed.

Speaker 1 Also, we'd love it if you would dial us up. We'd love to hear those text messages.
I've been texting with a lot of people over the break, and I really enjoyed it. 212-433-3TCB.
That's 212-433-3822.

Speaker 1 You can leave us a voicemail or a text message. We'll get back to you just as soon as we can.

Speaker 1 Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think that's more than enough.
All right, but I'll tell you that I love you.

Speaker 1 Best you.

Speaker 1 Best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy, Christina, and I must say we will say and we do say.
Goodbye. Bye.

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