Hit 'Em With The Helicopter

This episode is sponsored by Discover. If there's one thing we've learned from the entertainment industry, it's just how easy it is to earn a reputation, even if it doesn't reflect who you really are.
For example, everyone thinks that Discover is a card that isn't widely accepted, but in reality, it's accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. Yeah, 99%.
So maybe now you'll think twice before judging a book by its cover. Unless it's a celebrity cookbook.
In that case, judge away. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report, learn more at discover.com slash credit card.
This episode is sponsored in part by Liquid IV. How do you show yourself some love? What is that guilty pleasure you have? Mine is running and meditating.
Looks different for everyone, but especially before or after I take a long run, I indulge in a little extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV. Powered by Live Hydro Science, Liquid IV is on-the-go hydration.
You can use it before a workout, when you feel run down, after a long night out, or before long flights. It's scientifically formulated to help you replenish electrolytes and fluids lost from sweat or exercise.
And it's easy to use. I can keep some in the studio.
I can keep them in my car. I tear the packet open.
Thank you. We'll be right back.
We got a long summer coming up and staying hydrated during long days while you're enjoying the outdoors or sports or meeting some friends at the bar for drinks. You know what I'm saying.
Stay hydrated. Break the mold and own your ritual.
Just one stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone. Treat yourself to an extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV.
Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use the code commercial at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code commercial at liquidiv.com.
This stuff is great. I've used it and I really like it.
Go to liquidiv.com and use the code commercial 20% off that first order. And thank you to Liquid IV for being a sponsor of the commercial break.
do you have a dry i'm doing dry january i would love a dry savi b on this episode of the commercial break.

That is fascinating.

It really is fascinating.

It is.

And like we mentioned yesterday in the show, these are not supermodels that are on the show.

Obviously, there are some good-looking human beings on there.

But by and large, these are regular people.

A doula.

A doula.

A chef.

Your neighbor. The girl at the gas station.
That guy with the small penis. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
I get assed. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens.
Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green.
This is the voice of reason in the room. Chris and Joy Hoadley.
Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Ryan.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Can I say that I am very proud of Keanu Reeves.
It seems Keanu Reeves can do no wrong, and he's honestly maybe one of the few good humans left on this earth. He seems like it.
And that includes me. Like, I'm not one of the good humans on earth.
I'm saying, of all the humans on earth, Keanu seems like one of the good humans on earth i'm saying of all the humans on earth kiano seems like one of the good humans he does he's constantly doing the right thing he's constantly taking care of those around him stopping and taking pictures and giving you know showing up at charity events and giving the children what they want and he just seems like a really good dude like a guy who cracked the matrix like honestly went into the matrix came out understands how to do it, how to be a good human being, how to do the right thing in most circumstances, how to say the right things, how to be honest and organic in almost every situation. He had an excellent adventure.
He had an excellent adventure. I mean, if you all the actors, if you would have gone back to 1988 and all the actors, you could have said they're going to end up being one of the most famous, well-loved, well-known actors ever in the history of cinema.
Keanu Reeves would be the last person you would have picked. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure was the worst acting in the history of cinema.
Maybe not the worst, but pretty close to the worst acting in the history of cinema even though we all loved the movie oh yeah it's it did not age well and as an adult you can clearly see how ridiculous that movie is and how terrible those two are at acting keanu reeves doesn't like it was i just would have never imagined that he would be the guy we all love and adore i mean he's a love of bull even in bill and ted's excellent adventure but he's i just wouldn't have imagined him being this guy that he would be the guy we all love and adore i mean he's a love of bull even in bill and ted's

excellent adventure but he's i just wouldn't have imagined him being this guy that he this man that he's turned into that he's quite amazing in every way that i like it i don't read a bad fucking thing about the guy i know he's always out there kissing the shaking hands and kissing babies making love to the camera looking good acting well what happened where how do we get whatever keanu has and man that skin can we talk about that skin amazing he's beautiful he's a beautiful man i love him i have a man crush on keanu reeves join the club we all love keanu yes she's get pan and she loves keanu yeah good pan She's gay pan Christina's gay pan, and she loves Keanu. G-pan.
Yeah, g-pan. She's gay pan.
Christine is gay pan, and she loves... See, she only loves people for the right reasons, and she loves Keanu.
Keanu's my perfect little prince. Yes.
He's my little prince. I love him.
She would go straight for Keanu. Yeah, you're damn right I would.
Hey, listen, I would hit you over the head with a pan, with a g-pan, if you said you weren't. All right.
So let me explain why this has been solidified in my mind forever and ever. For the first time that I can remember, I saw a picture of Keanu with his girlfriend.
And his girlfriend is age appropriate. Oh, yeah.
How is this even possible? He's been with her for a long time. How is this possible? How did Keanu Reeves get an age-appropriate girlfriend? It's unbelievable to me.
Are they married? I think they... I think it said girlfriend, but I could be wrong.
I thought that maybe they got married, but they've been together for a long time. Oh, have they? This is the first picture I've ever seen of Keanu and his girlfriend.
They were on a red somewhere and she is perfectly age appropriate he's in his 50s she's in her 50s it they look lovely together she's a beautiful woman he's 60 he's 60 yeah he's 60 yeah and he i don't think he's married fuck you keanu you're 60 and you look like that god damn not a bit of i mean maybe a little botox here and there but there can't be a bit of plastic surgery on that guy he just looks great he looks great and his girlfriend is beautiful and she's in her 50s gotta be in her 50s 51 perfectly age appropriate she's an artist yeah she's got gray hair Alexandra Grant wow. Yeah, Alexandra Grant.
Wow. Wow.

I mean, if you molded someone in a PR machine. I mean, nine years, age appropriate.
Nine years at 60 is perfect. I think that's perfectly age appropriate.
At 60, it's fine. At 20, it's not.
Yeah, Bezos is dating someone who's like 32, and he's 76 years. Let's not get into that.
Yeah, let's not even get into that. The disparity in age between most Hollywood actors and their girlfriends.

Look at Leonardo DiCaprio.

As soon as they turn 26 years old, they're out the door.

Yeah.

He changes girlfriends.

Like, I change toilet paper rolls.

I mean, the guy.

And no knock against Leonardo.

Like, I don't think he's doing anything illegal.

And that's just the way he rolls. He seems to have a type, and the type is young models, right? That's it.
And they don't seem to be complaining. You don't ever hear these ladies coming out and saying he was abusive or anything like that.
But it's clear that Leonardo is a coxman. He's like a Warren Beatty of our time.
He's just dating young, beautiful women all the time. To see that Keanu Reeves is dating someone in their 50s when he's 60, and so incredibly good looking, so incredibly handsome, so incredibly rich, just so well put together, makes me believe that Keanu actually is a good person.
Substance. For the right reasons.
The substance. That's the substance that I want.
That's the want that's the guy that i yeah i mean what else can we say about i mean what what's your favorite keanu reeves role oh i mean i gotta love the matrix i love point break too point break's pretty good point break is pretty good point break is the break my opinion for Keanu. It's like where he went from kind of jokey

goofy, yuck it up

slapstick kind of

comedian to okay he can maybe

take on a semi-serious role but the

Matrix clearly makes him a star.

Do you know who was supposed to play

the guy in the Matrix?

No, who? Neo, do you know?

Take a guess.

Was it like another actor of that time? Will Smith. Will Smith? Will Smith was originally intended for the role of Neo in the movies The Matrix.
What happened? He did not, something about, he did not feel like he wanted to work, he didn't want to do that like on a Neo science fiction or something like that okay um he's also doing a million other show or movies at that point yeah he was so he turned down the roles i'm sure that he's kicking himself in the balls that he didn't take on those roles but you couldn't see anybody else in the role no not now i mean that kind of dumb gashaw awestruck uh seriousness about keanu reeves yeah and the way that he took on the role physically, it just makes it so impressive in every way. I just don't imagine anybody else was in that role.
I mean, that's got to be the hard part about being a really well-known actor or actress in Hollywood. You get offered all of these parts and then you have to turn some down or you don't get some.
It doesn't work out for whatever reason. It's not working on your timeline.
And then you see somebody else who embodies the role and makes an iconic movie out of it. That's got to make you feel in some way, I don't know about jealous, but some kind of disappointment's got to run through your head.
Yeah, like what did I miss out on? What did I miss out on? I think it was Matt Damon. I believe Matt Damon was off, if I'm not mistaken, was offered the role in the Avatar movies and he turned it down but he had been offered not only the Avatar movies but he had been offered 10% of the gross of movie and matt damon has said before you will never meet an actor who has turned down more money than i have i mean can you check that if it's matt damon uh turned down which role he would have made 250 million dollars by accepting a role in avatar oh my god Jason Bourne family.
Oh, yeah. He was in all those.
Hold up. Hold up.
But he couldn't leave Jason Bourne. Yeah, read this a little bit.
Okay. Matt Damon's decision to turn down James Cameron's 2009 space epic Avatar, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, remains one of the more infamous casting what-ifs of recent blockbuster history.
He turned down the film despite an offer that included receiving 10% of the box office back end, which would have meant a $250 million payday for him. Holy shit.
Holy shit. I think he's doing okay, though.
No, I mean, Matt Damon's not hurting. I think for those Bourne movies, he probably made $250 million.
Those movies are so good. They are.
That's another one where you, and I know there are other actors who have been in the Bourne series, like that guy who got chopped up by the snowplow. What was his name? Jeremy Renner.
Jeremy Renner. Jeremy Renner took a turn in the Bourne movies, but I don't think he was Jason, you know, he wasn't Jason Bourne.
He was like another offshoot of the Bourne identity. All right, we're back from a break.
My daughter had to prance in here and do a little twirl for us. I think Jeremy Renner played an offshoot of one of the Bourne identities, but largely I think Matt Damon is known as the Bourne guy.
And he is so, that's another one of those iconic movie roles, right? Don't imagine anybody else. And that's another guy you would say, how is Matt Damon going to be a super action star? But he ended up being a super action star.
The reason why those two movies are so intensely good, Matrix and The Bourne Identities, is the way that they filmed fight scenes were completely revolutionary. And I think to anybody, even people who don't like action films, it's so pleasing.
Now I say pleasing, but it's so it's eye candy to watch the way. Yeah, so intense when i watched the first born movie i had never seen anything like it i was like wow that's insane really good speaking of the way they fight film scenes whatever happened they film fight scenes the way they film fight scenes whatever happened to the the guy who was do you remember the dude who was in the Will Smith movies? The Chinese guy

who would... Jackie Chan.

Jackie Chan. What happened to Jackie Chan?

Did he like age out of the movies?

I think he's still around, but maybe he just

made enough money. Christina's gonna

show up, of course. He's probably straight to DVD at this point,

I would imagine. How old is Jackie Chan? He's 70.

Oh, well then that answers that question.

You can't do that shit for too long. Yeah.
What was the last big movie he was in? Rush Hour? Ride On in 2023. Well, Ride On in 2023? He was in an action movie? Wait, hang on.
Karate Kid Legends 2025. Oh, okay.
Oh. We've got another Karate Kid coming? Still moving and grooving.
Yeah. We all saw Karate Kid Legends.
Wow. Still moving and grooving.
Yeah, that's... Anyway, I just...
Right back to Keanu Reeves. I mean, I have to say, Keanu Reeves is such a stud.
And I'm... I would have that guy on this show.
It would be the honor of my lifetime to sit and talk to Keanu Reeves. But because he is a good guy, he's never going to come on the commercial break.
I think... This is true.
Yeah, he must have a fantastic PR firm, PR agent that really guides him in the right ways because you don't see him on these weird offshoot podcasts. You don't catch Keanu Reeves on Theo Vaughn.
You know what I'm saying? Speaking of Theo Vaughn, drama drop on the Brianna Chicken Fry situation. I saw she wore a revenge dress to the Golden Globes.
Oh, she did? And I do have to say, she's looking smoking. Why is Brianna Chicken Fry at the...
I don't know. But she was with our host, the guy.
Oh, what's his name? Josh or John? No, no, no, no. The guy...
No, I can't remember. The guy who owns Barstool Sports.
What's his name? Dave Portnoy. Dave Portnoy.
Was she with Dave Portnoy? Is that who she was with? No, I thought she was with somebody else. That's her.
I don't know. She was with somebody else, I think.
She puts on a busty display. That's what I'm saying.
That was the revenge dress. Okay, so do you remember when I told you that Brianna Chicken Fry and the co-host of her podcast? Is that Dave? No.
Well, it is now. She's on Barstool Sports Podcast.
But then she had another podcast. Brianna Chicken Fry and whatever her name was.
I was so into this for a minute. And then I decided.
You had enough chicken? And then I decided I had enough chicken fry. I was kind of like, well, all right.
There's enough chicken fry. So Brianna and her co-host of that very popular podcast, they split up.
The co-host went and announced that she was going to then be on the Call Her Daddy Network, her own podcast. And then she showed up on Theo Vaughn and made mention of why the two of them had split up.
I don't know about why, but what she said was, we're going rough spot and I would imagine that as best friends everybody goes through a rough spot and someday we'll make up she took a very politician's view toward this whole situation so I think that we can officially say at least for right now that the chicken fry drama may not yield any more drama drops anytime soon and we'll have to wonder just how long the chicken fry persona stays in the lexicon. We'll see.
Christina, have you heard the new podcast? No. No? Sorry.
Well, once again, the commercial break is the place to find all the hip information. We don't even know her name.
Sorry. What was her name?

Grace?

Grace.

Grace.

Brianna and Grace.

That's right.

And so, but I mean, I wish all the best to Grace.

I hope that that podcast does really well for her.

I can't imagine that you get on the Call Her Daddy network and your podcast doesn't do well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now I'm just Googling Grace.

Grace O'Malley Barstool.

Grace O'Malley on Barstool Sports.

She left Barstool. She left the Brianna Chicken Fry podcast that she had.
They were best friends since childhood. They split up, and now she's on Theo Vaughn doing kind of the publicity tour, I would imagine, is what's going on.
She's not saying much about why the split up, but she is saying, you know, hey, listen, I believe that we'll smooth it all over. And that's true.
Like, listen, friends, family members, we all get into little tussles and disagreements when it's so very public. It's got to be hard.
It's got to sting. It's got to be tough to wake up every morning and read about yourself in every trade, you know, every fucking pop star, pop rag that there is that you and Chicken Fry are in some.
And I would imagine that a lot of these tabloids put words in your mouth also. They say things that aren't true.
Friends of friends. Listen, I had my little taste of fame with the Venezuelan democracy drop thing.
And there are no tabloids at all that are looking for me. But I do have to say this, is that instantaneously, like when you get a thousand comments on a reel, people start making assumptions real quick about who you are based on 30 seconds that they see.

I can only imagine what it's like to have that times a million.

And then your friends want to sell your information.

That's got to be the part that becomes really isolating when you get famous.

That's so true.

Is that now you don't know who to trust.

Your friends want to talk shit.

They want to sell it to a trade rag.

They have pictures of you in their phone that they want to give to certain magazines for money.

And let's be real about it.

If I was famous and you were famous, and then someone came to one of our friends and said,

I'll give you $100,000 for photos from the birthday party a couple weeks ago,

that would be really hard to turn down, wouldn't it? Yeah, there's probably a lot of incriminating stuff up there about us. If tabloids were looking to pay anybody for pictures of me, I'm just going to say it right now.
Do not be surprised about what may come out about Brian Green. It's going to be a shit show.
Chrissy cooks naked for god's sakes there's gonna be back from our clear channel days thank god thank god blackberries were all the rage and really bad at taking photographs if they did at all thank god thank god the iphone was like relatively new not a lot of people you kind of had to be rich to have an iphone so not a lot of people had iphones taking pictures with your phone was a chore it was a big project and only and it was in like you know four pixels so you know it was all blurry you couldn't see anything but if there were pictures if there are pictures from chrissy and i's clear channel days that we are not aware right now, I certainly give anybody permission to sell them. God bless you.
They're yours. But I'm letting the audience know ahead of time, and I'm putting this on celluloid on the RSS feed forever and ever to live.
Do not be surprised about any piece of information that comes out about me. It's probably true.
And my penis is small. So those two things you should know right out the gate.
All right. Okay.
I'm going to say it before I spray it. There you go.
All right. Speaking of Brian's penis.
We talked yesterday about Naked Attraction, the show that has taken the world by, the dating show that took the world by storm during the pandemic when Max decided they were going to put it on their platform this is a show that comes out of the bb the bbc or channel four or something out there and uh over there in the uk and it is a show that show that really takes the idea of eye candy to you know kind of dating someone for what they look like to the next level as they show, it's a blind date show where they move the screen from your feet to your head one inch at a time. Revealing.
Revealing. Well, it's just the legs and then it goes up.
It's the kneecaps. It's the penis.
It's the tits. And then, yeah.
Yes. And it shows everything in high definition 4K glory.
Unlike, unlike those BlackBerry pictures to show everything in 4k and uh chrissy and i are going to look at some penises when we get back if you were wondering obviously you were yes we did finally surpass 5 000 followers but now here we are thirsty for more so follow us we are at the commercial break on instagram and at at TCB podcast on TikTok. And we'd love you the most if you liked our videos and subscribe to our channel on YouTube at youtube.com slash the commercial break.
And if social media isn't for you, just go to our website, TCB podcast.com, because everything we have ever done lives right there. Now, let's take a listen to our sponsors and then we'll get back to the show.
This episode is sponsored in part by Chime Checking. A few years ago, I was doing my end of the year bookkeeping and I got white hot when I realized that I had spent hundreds of dollars in banking and overdraft fees on one of our checking accounts.
An unexpected monthly bill comes through, a check that's been sitting out there for a while, and whabam, $35, $45, sometimes even $50? No thank you. That stuff adds up over time.
But when you open a Chime checking account, you can be one step closer to a better financial future because with no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft of up to $200, or you can get paid up to two days early with direct deposit, Chime Checking will have you covered and you can make progress on those financial goals that sometimes are hard to achieve. A Chime Checking account allows you fee-free overdraft with SpotMe.
You can overdraft up to $200 without any fees with spot me when you set up a qualifying direct deposit are you feeling a little stressed a couple days before your paycheck comes well get my pay when you set up a qualifying direct deposit you can make your payday any day make progress toward a better financial future with chime open your account in two minutes at chime.com slash commercial. That's chime.com slash commercial.
Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp NA or StrideBank NA.
Members FDIC, SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits do apply. Fees apply at out-of-network ATMs.
MyPay eligibility requirements do apply. Credit limits range from $20 to $500.
$2 fee applies to get funds instantly. Chime checking account required.
Go to chime.com slash disclosures for more details. And thanks to Chime Checking for being a sponsor of the commercial break.
Hey, all you cats and kittens out there in the podcast universe. I want to tell you about Rule Breakers with Soraya.
It's a new podcast from our partners at Odyssey that celebrates the rebels, the risk takers, and the ones who make their own way. It's these people who often change the lives of the people around them and the world at large.
And while in the moment it may be hard to see the forest through the trees, those rule breakers often define what it means to be a success. Each week, former wrestling superstar Soraya sits down with the boldest voices in sports, entertainment, and beyond to talk about breaking barriers, defying expectations, and rewriting the rules.
They're talking about it all, the fights, the failures, and the moments that changed everything. You can follow and listen to Rule Breakers with Soraya on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts.
And hear here to the rule breakers for keeping life interesting.

This episode is sponsored by one of our favorites, Squarespace. I was having a conversation with my brother Patrick the other day about all of the challenges and hurdles that come with being an entrepreneur.
Making revenue is just one of many things you have to deal with when you're starting or scaling a business.

So when I find a tool that helps me knock down multiple bullet points on the to-do list of entrepreneurship, I get excited to share. And that's why Squarespace is a tool that we use ourselves.
Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just going into business for yourself or you're scaling a business you've had for a while, Squarespace gives you all the tools you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings, and get paid.
Squarespace allows you to have cutting-edge design, even if you're not a designer, with their blueprint AI. And you get SEO tools.
Search engine optimization is not something on the wish list anymore. It's a must.
Squarespace has integrated search engine optimization tools to help you get noticed when people are searching for your product or service online. And of course, once you get those customers, you're going to need to nurture that relationship over time.
Squarespace email campaigns gives you all the tools you need to engage with your client, promote your services, and grow your revenue. Head to squarespace.com slash commercial for a free trial.
And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We use Squarespace.
We love Squarespace. We endorse Squarespace.
And we thank Squarespace for being a sponsor of the commercial break. Christina, right on those liners.
Look at you. Good for you.
You're timely on those liners. I like that.
We're just listening to Christina's liner, which is when she breaks into the show and talks about where you can find us and stuff like that. Said 5,000 followers.
We did just reach 5,000 followers. Five years, 5,000 followers.
I think that means at least 1,000 people a year have liked us. It's going to snowball from here.
I can feel it. I can feel it.
We're going to ride that Venezuelan wave right to infamy. All right.
So yesterday we were talking about the show Naked Attraction. I mentioned that I really would like to review another one of those episodes.
I managed to find one on YouTube, so we'll take a look at it. There's no other explanation.
I don't need to give you any other explanation except for this. Naked attraction is exactly what it sounds like.
One contestant, male, female, sometimes it's gay, straight, trans, they come out and they stand in the middle of five boxes. Those boxes are screens, like light boxes, and they will slowly pull up the screen on that light box revealing a naked person behind.
And the person in the middle, the person who's looking for a blind date, needs to decide based only on the genitalia. Yeah, they go straight up to the pelvis.
Yeah, they go straight up to the goods. And so let's take a listen to one of these episodes.
Along with a very entertaining host. Oh, the host is lovely.
I love her. She's great.

In a time where your online profile defines who, how, and where you date,

we strip away the likes and the swipes,

leaving only the underpinnings. Only the penises to be seen.

Imagine if Tinder just had pictures of penises up there.

Imagine if you had to swipe right or left based on a look of a penis. No one would ever date anybody.
The birth rate in this country would go down. We have a more instinctive way to find love.
But do you? But do you really? Can picking a partner based solely on natural beauty... Oh, okay.
Help you find the wand. Wow Wow.
This is the first time I have seen a vagina.

Yeehaw.

Oh.

Whoa.

Okay.

That's a reveal right there.

I've seen that episode.

Have you seen that episode?

She was weird.

I was like, well, I'm not surprised.

This is the first time you've seen a vagina, sir.

We like to start where a good date ends.

Time to see some poon poon.

Time to see some poo poo? Okay. That is.
Is that what you're calling? Poon-poon. Maybe he said poon-poon.
You know the worst word I've heard for a vagina is in that show, The Inbetweeners, when they call it clunge. Clunge.
I've never heard that before. That's the most disgusting word for a vagina I've ever heard.
Oh my god. Tonight, a chef, a window cleaner, and a jeweler let it all hang out for their potential soulmates.
I'm sorry. How do you go to a male strip club and just watch a wiener wangling around? It seems so strange to me.
There's something so inherently beautiful about a woman's... Oh, look at that.
I just stopped the right perfect at the right place. A guy holding his cock.
I just need to point out for everyone, just so you guys know, the screen is really close to my face. And I just need to report this to HR.
Good luck with that. There is no HR here.
Astrid is Oh. Brian's putting the pause button to use.
Look at that. Oh, God.
What is that? Lick the lizard. I'm looking for a dick that I want to suck for the first time.
I want to point out. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Okay, let me find a time where I can pause that does not include a penis.
All right, there we go. I just want to point out that the female body, in my opinion, is so inherently beautiful.
It's just lovely and delicious. I know that's my personal preference.
But the male body, it seems like the penis is just an afterthought in some ways. You know what I'm saying? Like an extra piece of skin that no one knew what to do with.
Just throw it on there. It's so weird and ugly.
Oh, I've only got six now. Roman! I've never had a titmank before.
We know it's what's on the inside that counts. He can make his cock move.
Oh, my God. But you've got to like what's on the outside first.
Woo! You know what I call sex or legs? They're fanners, aren't they? So you're the queen of the blowjob. Blimey.
It's time to try dating in reverse. This is Naked Attractive.
Did anyone ever stop to think if this was really a good idea? Like if this really was a good idea? Well, obviously they're on season seven. Well, the ratings must be through the roof.
Because it's so outrageous. It's like a train wreck.
You can't stop watching. You know that what you're seeing just shouldn't be on television, but it is.
And so it's fascinating. It really is fascinating.
It is. And like we mentioned yesterday in the show, these are not supermodels that are on the show.
Obviously, there are some good-looking human beings on there. But by and large, these are regular people.
A jeweler. A chef.
A jeweler. A chef.
Your neighbor. The girl at the gas station.
That guy with the small penis. Welcome to Naked Attraction, the show where we like to do it with the lights on.
Inside each of these six pods, I've lined up a naked singleton. Only one of them will be picked to go on a date, but who's doing the chooser? By the way, who is the host? Is she like some kind of sexologist or something? Is she a body expert? She seems to talk in a way where she understands what's going on with the body.
And when does the host get naked? Has the host ever been naked? Anna Richardson, is that her name? She's like, hell no, I'm not doing naked. Doesn't seem like there is much on her.
Oh, she... Hold up.
Someone has been replaced at some point in time. Oh.
No, this is her, though. Okay, that's her.
She's just done a lot of hosting. She did a sex education show.
Oh, okay. And you know, over in Europe, they have done some sex education shows, which we have also talked about here on the show, which I have also watched.
Like, they did one in Denmark. They did one, I can't remember, maybe in Canada, in Australia, they have done some sex education shows geared toward teenagers that are incredibly graphic, that show actual penetration, how it's supposed to work, how you do it, in an effort, how to put on a condom, how to use a condom in action, in an effort to educate the public.
Here in the United States, you go to church and, you know, they pretend like sex doesn't happen between anybody but two married people. It's kind of crazy, but I think they're taking the right approach over there.
Yeah, you run it all out. Yeah, the only way you're going to do it is just like, the only right way to teach someone about sex, to teach a young person about sex, in my opinion, is to tell them the good, the bad, and the ugly and to show them that sex is not a porn movie.
Although I like to think sex is a porn movie, I am physically unable to hold Astrid up against a shower wall for 30 to 40 minutes. I'm physically unable to do anything for 30 to 40 minutes.
I'm Jessica, I'm 28 years old, and I'm from Sydney. She's a child education specialist.
No, Why not get in front of a national or worldwide audience? In America, you're fired. She's canceled instantly.
In England, she's celebrated. My love life is a total shambles.
I've been on about 50 dates, and all of them, quite frankly, were a disaster. I've been lied to.
I've been cat about 50 dates and all of them quite frankly were a disaster I've been lied to I've been catfished I've been ghosted I've been cheated on Yeah, you're not getting catfished on this one Yeah, no, there's no catfishing going on here You're going to figure it out real quick I'm the girl on the sofa with a glass of red wine singing all by myself. That's from Bridget Jones.
Is that from Bridget Jones? And I'm the real life Bridget Jones. Oh, look at you Chrissy.
I love to be. You know your lonely single women movie.
A pair of buns in the oven. It would be nice to find a man that can

beat the batter.

My friends and my sister

would love me to meet someone.

Do your friends and your sister

also think it was a fantastic idea to have

you go show your clunge

on national television?

No.

Oh, here we go.

I like a little bit of a purrs.

I might have a little bit of a gawp.

This little face isn't so

Thank you. I don't have a pigeon.
No. Oh, here we go.
I like a little bit of a perv. I might have a little bit of a gawp.
This little face isn't so innocent. I want to meet a man naked.
Can I just share? Just like when you call the doctor's office and every single one of those messages says our options have recently changed. Everyone says the same thing when it comes to their sex.
I'm a little bit of a perv. Everyone says that because you don't want to be known as the guy or the girl who just says yeah I like missionary style.
Do you know what I'm saying? It's such a cliche thing to say. I don't think you'd be on here.
What's that? I don't think you'd be on here. No you gotta have a certain kind of screw loose to get on this television show.
I need to open up my life and let a man in okay let's get to the good yeah let's get to the penises please a gorgeous girl next door like you still single come on i just meet idiots um yeah bridget jones can i also say just like the doctor's just like the doctor's office message message, anybody who has a troubled dating life is always blaming everybody else for the troubled dating life. Do you know what I'm saying? That's true.
Just throwing that out there. Critley is Samantha Jones.
Sex and sissy. So why choose a date naked? I love being naked.
I'm really comfortable in my own skin. A little bit try before you buy, I think, as well.
Fair enough. I love being naked.
I'm really comfortable in my own skin. A little bit try before you buy.

I think as well.

Fair enough.

Okay, now in front of you,

you have got six coloured pods inside each.

She's like a kid in a candy store.

She's so ready for the penises.

I mean, I would be nervous.

I wouldn't be there.

It would be tough for me to do this.

Be naked. Unless it was for charity.
And for that reason, then I would do it. Right.
Each of them has an attribute that you have said you find attractive. We're going to reveal them to you bit by bit.
All you've got to do is whittle them down from six to one, just using naked attraction alone.

Okay.

This is insane when you think about it.

I know we've seen a few of these, so we know what's coming.

But when you think about this premise, it is just generally insanity.

Okay.

Yes.

Can we please reveal the bottom half of the bodies?

Oh, straight to the dicks.

They pulled up the box.

They pulled up the screens all the way to their belly button area.

So now we've got six penises in front of us. That's the first time since the high school locker room that I've said those words.
I mean, they are largely uncircumcised. Am I right about that? There is like five uncircumcised men and one circumcised man? I thought there were like four uncircumcised.
That's what I said. Uncircumcised.
I thought you, sorry. I thought it said it the other way.
I'm going to go look at three first, I think. Oh my God.
I'm going to get a little bit of a wiggle. This is what we do for work, girls.
This is what we do for work. A wiggle.
Give me a wiggle. Besides, I don't like anything that's too big.
Okay. Once I did anal.
Oh, my God. It's so close.
Oh, my God. It's so close.
It's so close. We should have done the women.
We should have done the women. I'm an equal.
We did a woman last time. So I'm equal opportunity.
All right. And he went straight in and split me.
Oh, Jesus. What is happening? What happened? Where did we go with this? Oh, my God.
Is it time for a break yet? Can we fast forward to the women? All right. Okay.
Okay. I'll give you a second here.
I think we're going to take a break. We're going to...
Do we need a break? No, not yet? Christina's got to get herself together. That shook me to the core.
That is insane what she just said. Split me.
She split me right up the middle. That's an intense thing to think about.

So let's do this.

Let's take a break.

And then when we get back, we'll see if we can muddle through the rest of this episode.

Now we know what we're working with with this lady.

So she's not afraid of anything.

Yeah, and with the men.

That's true.

And by the way, not a good-looking penis in the bunch.

Just throwing that out there.

All right, we'll be back. One of my New Year's resolutions is to hear more of other people's drama.
So help a girl out and tell us your drama at 212-433-3822. You can text it or if it's extra juicy, leave us a voicemail with the full story.
And don't forget to follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break and on TikTok at TC tcbpodcast. And watch our video episodes at youtube.com slash thecommercialbreak.
But also, you can find everything I just mentioned and more on our website, tcbpodcast.com. Okay, let's listen to our sponsors and send us your drama.
ID Tech, the first and most trusted tech camp, is where kids ages 7 to 17 find their people. The coding and creating people.
The fire-breathing, shell-spinning BattleBots people. The just-as-happy building games as they are playing them people.
At 75 prestigious college campuses all across the country, ID Tech features over 50 epic courses like BattleBots, AI and machine learning, game design, and more. Visit IDtech.com and use code IDtech to save $150 on a week that's guaranteed to be a highlight of summer.
IDtech, the first and most trusted tech camp, is where kids ages 7 to 17 find their people. The coding and creating people, the fire-breathing, shell-spinning BattleBots people, the just-as-happy building games as they are playing them people.
At 75 prestigious college campuses all across the country, IDTech features over 50 epic courses like BattleBots, AI and machine learning, game design, and more. Visit IDTech.com and use code IDTech to save $150 on a week that's guaranteed to be a highlight of summer.
Well, we did get to 5,000 followers, but I'm wondering how many of those followers we're going to lose after this episode. All right, we're watching Naked Attraction.
You know it because you didn't just jump into the middle of this episode. Okay, let's just continue, I guess.
Here we go. Yeah.
Framed. I had to go to the hospital.
What did they do?

They had to glue me slightly back together.

They glued?

Oh, that is...

My God.

I guess...

So she's back looking for more, but just not too big.

Not too big.

So we're keeping the small penises in mind here.

Well, I volunteer.

Right.

So, moving on.

Green.

Quite like a circumcised, Willie.

Yeah.

Thank you. I volunteer.
So moving on.

Green.

Quite like a circumcised willy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, there's something.

Can I just share this?

There's something that's weird. I find about other about penises in general.

A lot of them seem discolored.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Like they're different color than the actual skin of the body.

And I understand why that is. It's a different type of skin.
And it's, you know, works in different ways and has different blood flow. But, I don't know, I find it really disconcerting when I see, like, a pale white man with almost a black penis.
Do you know what I'm saying? Interesting. Sometimes it looks a little bit tidier.
If you expect me to be tidy, I expect you to be tidy.

I expect you to mutilate yourself if I'm going to get mutilated.

I think.

Across to orange.

Yeah.

He's got quite strong legs.

I don't like someone who's got too big a legs,

because I like to be on top.

So you like to struggle a boy.

Yeah.

So you can't have legs that are too big.

No, because then my hip goes sometimes and get a bit cramp. Your hips go as well.
This girl's a mess. I mean, I guess we have to remember that this girl did choose to come on Dating Naked Attraction.
And Brian still can't get the name of the show right. No.
Dating Naked. Red.
Not a bad size penis. Yeah.
Oh, his legs. Oh, oh his legs oh he's got like a ugly penis man these are ugly i'm sorry i just gotta say this out loud yeah it's very it's all very i understand that circumcision in some ways is mutilation but I that generally, she's right.
It looks tidier. It looks neat.
Maybe that's just what I'm used to. I don't know.
Why do you have one tattoo right up there, and it's faded? And it's a tattoo of a penis, isn't it? No, it looks like a cartoon character. But I think it looks like he's in the process of getting it removed.
Okay, that's good. And the little star there.
That's cute. He just didn't make it by the time he was going to be on national TV.
Yeah. He tried.
He tried. It took longer than he thought.
He tried. Yeah.
What about yellow? It's nice. It's a nice size.
It's a good size. Yes.
It's like Cinderella's shoe. You know? It's like a snitch.
Yeah, it wasn't on there. I think.
He's got good balls. Quite solid.
Solid balls. Solid balls.
I would love to see. He's got good balls.
Instead of good bones. Oh, my God.
This show is wrong in every way.

I know.

Helicopter, because I think that's really funny. Fellas, thumbs up if you're up for a proper helicopter.
All right. Here we go.
Here we go. Oh, my God.
Okay, some are doing better than others Some are grabbing some are swinging on their own Can I ask a question is this what goes on At a male strip club Do they helicopter It's the worst day of my life I know sorry Christina Turns out fully gay Turns out Christina is automatically gay Turns out she didn't like penises in the first place. She certainly doesn't like them now.
Not even Keanu's? No. Screw you, Keanu.
I feel physically ill. I do too.
At least there's that. At least there's that.
Okay.

Maybe we can get it to... Oh, I do too.
At least there's that. At least there's that.
Okay.

Maybe we can get it to where they go up one more level. Yeah, can we just go up one more? Can we go to their chest now? That is excellent.
He's got to get rid of somebody. Much as that was utterly hilarious.
Yeah. One of them has to go.
Let's get rid of four of them. Can we get rid of four of them now? The guy with the tattoos has got to go.
Oh, God. Red.
Red is out. Red is out.
See you later. That dick didn't qualify.
Oh, this guy with a tattoo. Oh, fair enough.
I could be completely wrong. Jessica, you are saying goodbye to Gavin.
He's a redhead. He's 34, and he's a finance manager from Sheffield.
Nothing like that. Nothing like that.
Your client's seeing this. He's a finance manager from Sheffield.
Nothing like your client.

Your client's seeing this.

He's a finance manager.

Hey, can you move a million pounds into my wealth?

Holy shit, I just saw your penis on national television.

Did you just helicopter your penis?

Did you just helicopter your penis?

Ben.

Oh, well, I'm a bit sure. Thank you very much indeed.
See you later. They just have to walk completely naked.
I know, they have to do the perp walk. Yeah.
When they do the butt zoom in. I know.
It's horrible. It's so sad.
It is. White guys, when they get to a certain age, most white guys, when they don't get to a certain age, we just have a butt problem.
The butt problem is it's not a good look. It's sad.
It is. It is.
White guys, when they get to a certain age, most white guys, when they don't get to a certain age, we just have a butt problem.

The butt problem is it's not a good look.

It's not.

Black men have, you know, they got those beautiful, you know, strong asses.

White guys, we go in, they go out.

It's bad.

It's just bad.

Better.

So got a few moves in the box.

Yeah, to be fair to this guy,

he doesn't look much better clothed.

Bye.

You've got five lovely men remaining.

This is where you get to see

the middle part of the body.

Yeah, let's focus on something else for a second, please.

Go up.

Oh. Okay.

Lots of tattoos.

Big nipples, small nipples, big bellies,

small bellies. Hairy.

Not hairy. Not hairy.

Oh, wow.

Wow. Oh, my God.

One guy has a picture of a baby reindeer logo.

I'm not a girl. Not hairy.
Not hairy. Oh, wow.
Wow. Oh, my God.
One guy has a picture of a baby reindeer logo right on his chest. That's crazy.
That was like full chest and torso. Yeah, that was a big tattoo.
Why would you get a reindeer tattooed on your chest? Or a deer, I guess. I don't know.
Maybe he'll explain. Yeah, I hope so.
Look at orange. Wow.
Do you like his chest his chest yes he's got that nice little v-line he's definitely got the v-line going on yeah he has the victory v victory victory is for vagina v is for victory in your vagina go to yellow so you're liking sort of abs want a dad bodge? I don't mind a little bit of a dad bodge. I'm not a gym fanatic.
Like, I want it to be an even balance. Like, when someone looks at me, I want it to go.
That guy's got a picture of a cartoon, a tattoo of a cartoon shark on his belt. I look like a little dolphin, yeah.
It's a shark. What are some people thinking when they get tattoos? Honestly.
I want Hans Huston and vice versa. When it comes to choosing a partner, most women will choose flab over abs.
In a recent sense. Well, that is good to know for me.
74% of women in the UK felt self-conscious about their bodies and don't want to compete with a finely chiseled hunk we prefer a dad bod to a rad bod i'm gonna guess that 74 percent of women say they prefer a dad bod but if a chiseled hot guy walked in the door and then brian walked in the door i think i'd lose every time than the aussies who celebrate with an annual dad bod competition involving a fitness test, a catwalk, and a burger scoffing race. Bonza! What's the burger scoffing race? What's the green? I don't know.
What's a scoff? I guess that's eating. Eating.
Scoff it down. Okay.
Have a good bod. He looks like a swimmer.
Yeah. Do you swim? No.
No. Do you play sport? Yes.
Do you play basketball? No. Rowing? Rowing.
Rowing. Part of the crew.
There you go. Let's speak to Pink.
That is a good exercise. He's got a good stance about him.
You're talking about the arms. Is there any other reason why you like a boy with strong arms? Well, I like to bake.
Okay. What does this...

This girl is...

I don't expect that.

I like to bake.

First of all, second of all, this guy's got the kind of body I can relate to.

He's soft in the middle.

You've got strong arms.

It means you've got strong whisk.

Shall we see what these guys are made of when it comes to their wrist whisk action? Yes, please. Okay, so the boys are standing there with a bowl of cream and a whisk.
So we need to check out your whisk action and your strong arms. Whisk.
Whip it, whip it, whip it. What does this have to do with dating? All these dating shows, they have stunts and they're so stupid.
It's like 90 Day Fiance The last resort When they send them out To row and grab a basketball How's that going to make Your relationship stronger? Green, that's a disappointing action Blue, you just turned it to butter Look at the speed of light Okay, fellas Can you just turn your cream towards us, please? That's curdled. Blue, butter.
Orange, good. Green.
Oh. Okay.
Pink's good as well. Yeah.
Who stood out for you? Blue. He just got really into it.
Well done, fellas. Thank you very much indeed.

You've got five lovely men.

One of them has to go.

Who's it going to be?

I don't think we needed to whip butter to make a decision about who we like.

You're making a decision based solely on their body.

That's it.

I say raise the curtain to chin level.

Give them a couple minutes to think about it.

Pick two. Ask them a couple questions.
Get on with life. Let's see.
Pink. Pink's out.
Pink's gone. See you later, Pink.
What I think is the hairy chest does a little bit of mum with my dad. So you're saying, yeah.
You are saying goodbye. Oh, God, if that reminds me of your dad, I'd probably remind you of your grandpa.
He is 32. He's a rail plant engineer from Blackpool.
Oh, you've got such a lovely beard. Oh, Jessica.
I'm going to go for a girl if I'm going to be my mum, so. I'm so sorry.
Fair enough. Way to take it in stride.
Yeah. Yeah.
When the screen went off, the first thing I noticed. There's the butt.
The butt shot is the best. I don't think she was really my type.
Yeah, I mean, that's the other thing. Like when some of these people make it through to the end And they finally see the person that they're going to date You've got to imagine a lot of these people go Uh, not for me Yeah Coming up, Jessica bears all before choosing who to date I'm going to go with And a brand new singleton gets to pick a partner Based on Naked Attraction.
It's exciting. This is so crazy.
This is so insane. This is like, I mean, honestly, this is probably my 20th episode of Naked Attraction, including a marathon that I saw in Ireland.
And if we're really being, if I'm really just like bearing it all, no pun intended, it doesn't get any less shocking any time that i see it every time yes every time oh my god even and even though i prefer the female form like that's what i'm sexually attracted to even with the women it's so clinical and weird and close up sometimes it can be disconcerting client support specialist jessica whittled six men down to four oh i thought it was child support specialist it does make a difference it really does okay i'm sorry jessica attraction alone she can only choose one man to go on that she's gonna go with the uncircumcised guy because that's what she prefers so who will she lose next oh wow Before we crack on, just remind us, why are you here? I'm desperate. I'm desperate for a wank.
Bridget Jones. Okay.
And we need to bring out Samantha Jones and me again. Oh, crikey.
Is the world ready? Yes. In this next round, you get to see the boys' faces.
Here we go. Can we please see the boys' faces? Okay.
They're all very different.

Very different.

Generally the same age, but all very different.

I'd say they're all in their 30s, probably.

All relatively handsome gentlemen.

Honestly, start with the face.

Pull it the other way down.

I think that's what you do.

Because the face is going to be the thing that really ties this all together, right?

You're not going to date someone just based on their penis. Right.
And now it's the whole package. Yellow looks a bit cheeky.
Oh, look, he is very, come on, man. Oh, yellow.
Cheeky. He is.
He looks like he's got kind eyes. Got a bit of a flutter there.
You've got a flutter? A funny flutter. When it comes to sexual attraction, a woman's vagina sometimes engages before her brain does.
An increased flow of blood to the genital. Never has that ever happened to me.
By the way. Results in that tingling sensation known as a fanny flutter.
According to a recent study, some professions are considered more sexually attractive than others and likely to generate this fluttery feeling down below. Top of the tingles with one-fifth of the votes were the medical, legal, and teaching professions.
Where did a podcaster fall in that? Where does a podcaster fall? Probably way down on the list. Workers were boated in bottom with barely a flutter.
Orange. Oh, you have a lovely smile.
Handsome boy. There's a little something about him.
Except for the gigantic deer. Except for the gigantic weird tattoo on your chest.

I like his hair, actually.

Is it blonde all over? Yeah, it is.

You're not a natural blonde, are you? No.

And then finally,

we've got Green. I think the weirdest

part about this is they can't say anything.

So they're not responding.

They're just nodding or doing thumbs up.

He's got a really kind face.

Green, could you manage an older lady?

You've seen the boys.

You've seen their faces.

Yeah, the green guy looks really young.

One of them has to go.

He was the rower.

Who's it going to be?

She's going to say green. Green.
You said green. Yeah, I think she thinks he's too young.
Have you seen his body? I know. You just look a bit innocent for me.
I feel like I might eat you alive. Well, Jessica, the man that you could have eaten alive is called Milan.
He is 22. He's a philosophy student from Lincoln, but originally from Germany.
Oh, my God. He's like every girl's wet dream.
He's a philosophy student with a grey body and a big dick. Hey, hello.
You look like a bit of a prince charming. But you'd ruin him, wouldn't you? Yeah.
Guess we'll never find out. Ooh.
Wow. Snappy with a comeback.
She was under the impression that I was a bit innocent. I would argue that she's probably mistaken.
I guess if I looked like that, I'd show my dick too. Yeah.

In this next round, you get to hear them speak.

Now, Jessica, I've heard that you have a party trick.

And I believe that you can replicate the sound of a dinosaur. What do you think our video editors are going to think of this episode?

I am just, you know, this is crazy that you're asking this,

because I was just thinking maybe I'm not going to ask this episode to be cut up on video. This may be one of the few episodes of the commercial break moving forward that you don't see on video for a number of different reasons.
Mainly, HBO is going to block it anyway. They're going to copyright claim this for sure because that's what they do.
They're really protective over their content. And then I can argue that it's fair use and they will eventually let me show the video.
But I'm worried that our video editor, I don't know him very well yet, right? And I'm worried that asking him to look at a bunch of dicks for an hour, it's going to get me in some kind of trouble. Yeah.
Shall we have it? What was that? That's not a party trick. That's just you being crazy.
That's just you scaring off all the boys. When did you discover that you had this spectacular talent? From a very young age.
I love dinosaurs. Well, let's find out how the boys are going to impress you.
We would like you to make a noise from the animal kingdom. Tell us what that animal is.
The one guy has to do with deer. Yeah, of course.
Let's go with blue. Oh, my God.
He just did monkey noises and a monkey bounce. What do you think of the voice? Are you northern slightly?

Yeah, Warrington.

He's from Warrington.

Oh, okay.

I'm going to go for orange.

Lion.

Because I'm an animal.

That was a lion?

Has he never heard a lion?

What kind of lion noise is that?

You have a deer tattooed on your chest.

You should be able to make animal noises, dude.

Jim.

Okay. I have a deeper voice.
Where's he from? I'm from Suffolk. Oh, lovely.
What about yellow? What does that have to do with anything? Christina, can you clue us in on that? Why Suffolk? Why is everyone excited about Suffolk? Is that like a fancy Ponce neighborhood? Maybe. I don't have a noise, because I am the animal.

Oh.

Amazing.

What accent have you got?

I'm from near Leeds.

Near Leeds.

He's a Yorkshire lad.

Yorkshire lad.

He's the kind of guy that needs to borrow a little rent money.

You know what I'm saying?

He is.

He's an animal.

He's very good.

Okay. It's decision time Oh here we go Who do you think? She's going to say goodbye to Blue I'm going to say goodbye to Blue Yeah you were right I've never seen this episode before by the way I can't work him out and it's bugging me jessica we are saying goodbye she doesn't like the way he looks and he does have two trolls tattooed like two like mystical dungeons and dragon trolls tattooed on his chest let's be honest about it if you're gonna pick a dude you know most people probably would anyway whatever and he is a chef from Warrington.

Hence that incredible whisk action.

What kind of chef are you then? I'm a dessert chef.

That's why your cream was excellent.

Oh.

You're on the wrong show.

You should have been on Bake Off.

Keep baking.

And keep walking so we can get a hot shot of your ass.

Baker.

Actually, Jess isn't getting any of my cream today. All right.
All right. Let's move on.
You've seen them with their kit off. You've heard what they've got to say.
Next time you see them, you'll be in the nude. We'll see you shortly.
Oh, God, here we go. You'll be in the nude.
It's your turn. Now, go get nude.
Yeah, now, go disrobe. You think anybody helps them backstage? How do you think all that works out? It's like a PA standing there just watching you get naked.
Does someone powder your puff? Do you know what I'm saying? Maybe. Yeah, maybe they'll make it.
Yeah, if you're a little sweaty, do they doll you off? Or are're a little oily? I mean, everybody else is about to see you.

The two-year-old highway maintenance foreman, Bradley, and 30-year-old window...

I sure hope one of my daughters walks in on me doing this episode.

Charlie, but she can only choose one guy to go on that date to find out if there's chemistry when the clothes go on.

Well, she picked two uncircumcised guys.

Oh, that's true. She did.
Charlie, you've made it to the final two. Congratulations, gentlemen.
Cheers. The last time.
Cheers. Cheers.
It was with her clothes on. Are you ready to see her naked? Absolutely.
Is that a fair comfort? That's why I'm here. Okay, Jessica, come out.
Show the boys what you've got, please. I wonder if they keep that studio really warm.
Oh, yeah, they got to. You know what I'm saying? You wouldn't want to be – like most television studios, just like this studio, we keep it cool because the lights heat it up real quick.
But there, you probably let it – yeah, you got to. You have to.
You want the penises to be shown in the best light and the tits and everything else where do they get all the licensing right like here in america you can't play these songs because the licensing rights but the bbc and the channel four and all that they always seem to have the good music check out those buns incredible boobs are they natural yes Amazing Beautiful figure What do you like about your body? I love my boobs I like that I'm quite womanly shaped She's got big boobs Curves You're a woman Yes Okay, fantastic I do love that these people seem generally very confident Confident, yeah I mean, you have to be to go on national television and show your ass. And drunk.
Charlie. Okay, two beautiful specimens.
Yes. Charlie, what are you making of Jessica's body? Gorgeous, actually.
Love big boobs. Love a fringe as well.
Oh, do you? Yeah. And how about you, Bradley? I'm more of a bum person than a drunk person, yeah.
Okay, spin round, spin round. I had a good look when she looked around before.
Did you? He's missing a tooth. Did you see that? Did anybody else see that? He's missing a front tooth.
Evolver. Very nice, yeah.
Nice and neat. Okay, now this time, you're picking the man you want to go on a date with.
Okay. Bradley or Charlie? She's going to go with Charlie.
I think so, too. Both gorgeous.
Even though the disconcerting deer tattoo that's all across most of his body. It's intriguing, though.
Maybe we want to get to the bottom of it. She likes him.
She's attracted to him. Yeah.
He looks like Bradley Cooper,

actually, I think, a little bit.

He does have a Bradley Cooper-ish look.

Bradley.

Oh!

She went with the toothless wonder.

I'm getting my answer out of it.

A bit cheeky.

Yeah?

Oh, she keeps talking about him being cheeky.

How are you feeling about that?

A bit kind, actually.

You thought you were going to get in there?

I thought I was.

Well, do you know what?

You can't have your cake and eat it.

So, Charlie, thank you very much indeed.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

See you later.

Yeah, this is not...

You know, like, some dating shows,

you give them a hug on the way out the door?

Like, The Bachelor?

This is not a place where it's appropriate to give a hug.

Pretty girl. And I like Fringe.
But It just wasn't to me Was it He's really disappointed Wow I know Bradley Meet Jessica Jessica Meet Broadway Hi Hi Hi. Sorry about my half heart.

I've been staring at your munch.

I've been pissed.

Do you want me to feel a girl?

Is Bradley going to get to see your naughty side?

Me.

Me?

I'll fetch you out of here.

Oh, very assumptive.

The next time you see each other, the kit is going to be back on.

Please have an amazing date.

And I can't wait to hear how this one goes. See i think they show the date watch this yeah not not the whole date like just yeah just a snippet i like this so when bradley said i had a really nice bum as well I was like, okay, have still a bit of J-note.

Now they do show the... Or they meet.
I was like, oh, okay, I have to have got a J-Lo.

Bump, bump.

Now they do show the... Or they meet.

Drop your drawers!

They meet Glo.

Hello.

Hiya, hiya.

Yeah, you?

Dresses nice.

First impressions, Bradley's dressed really well.

Yeah, he dressed very smartly.

I like that.

My usual type, but he does it really good.

She's good looking, obviously. Very bubbly, and I think we're on to a winner.
Am I your usual type? Yeah. I like dark air.
Obviously, you've got a beautiful pair of boobs. But it's not...
Yeah, it's got to be weird. You see someone naked and then you're going out and meeting them for the first time.
But first... Yeah.
I'm mother. Bombsman.
I feel like Samantha Jones is coming out. I think the flirtatious side is coming out a little bit more.
I feel like Bridget is slowly going back in her box. What's the silliest thing you've ever done? What, when drunk? Yeah.
I think it would be get naked on national television. He said I'd get naked.
Yeah. Do you like being naked? Yeah.
I'm the same. Well, again, you would have to.
Yeah, I mean, you have to be. I think we're vibing on that sense.
We both like to be naked. You have a lot of good arms.
I go to the gym. Whereas I bake and I just bake.
I just put an order in. What do you want? Your favorite character.
I need subtitles. Yeah, me too.
This guy's got a really thick British accent. This is like, what do they call it? A Hackney accent? Is that Hackney? Christine, is that what they call it? Didn't he say it was...
What did he say? He was northern? I can't remember. Something like that.
What's Hackney southern? I don't know. Okay.
You know, I fully expect that you're going to know stuff about the United Kingdom. I know some things, but I couldn't really hear it.
I would fully expect you would know things because of your love of Britain. I always am checking with Christina because I figure she's actually from the country, but then, you know, I got to remember, you moved here when we were, what, three? I've lived here forever.
Okay. That means you get to see me again as well.
I fancy Jessica, yeah. I wouldn't have come on a date if I didn't fancy her.
She think you'd like to see me again? I like saying fancy. Yeah, I like fancy.
I fancy that person. I'm so rubbish.
She's drunk. I think the date's gone really well.
He wants to exchange numbers, so be sure to see. Cheers.
Which we'll see. What are you talking about? You saw each other naked.
You had a good time time on the date What are you going to do? I mean, what's there left to do But get in bed and feel around That's it All right We've taken this episode way too long I should have cut it off when the penises came into view But all right We all got our dose of some penis Well, now I'm going to have to give Christina a quarterly bonus.

All right.

You may or may not find this episode on YouTube.

That's no joke.

I think maybe we'll leave this one in the video can.

In the video box. Just so I don't gross out half the audience, if I haven't already.

Well, thanks to all those Venezuelans who joined us on our YouTube.

It was nice having you.

Nice having you.

We'll see you on the next Venezuelan Reel. All right.
Well, that's how the cookie crumbles. There you go.
I wonder what Keanu's penis looks like now. Now I'm wondering.
Circumcised or uncircumcised? I bet he's uncircumcised. I don't know why.
It's just a feeling that I have in my gut. All right.
Listen, season number six is well underway. I think we're finally building some steam.
I can't believe we did that. Started off in a band.
Oh, my God. Our network must be so proud.
I can't wait for my next network meeting with the executives. So do you think you can reduce the amount of times you say clunge in an episode?

Sure, no problem.

TCBpodcast.com.

That's where you find more information about the show, all the audio, all the video,

right there from one location, TCBpodcast.com.

Also, you can get your free TCB swag, like a TCB sticker.

And I've got some other stuff, too, I'm giving away. I've got some extra t-shirts, some old Mempho stickers, TCB Mempho stickers that I'll be giving away.
So if you'd like one of those things, just hit us up on the website, go to the contact us button. It says, I want my free sticker.
Give us your address. Tell us you want a sticker or t-shirt or whatever, and I'll try and send one to you just as soon as possible at the commercial break on instagram tcb podcast on tiktok and of course youtube.com slash the commercial break for most episodes uh up there on the video feed also we'd love it if you would dial us up we'd love to hear those text messages i've texting with a lot of people over the break, and I really enjoyed it.
212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822.
You can leave us a voicemail or a text message. We'll get back to you just as soon as we can.
Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think that's more than enough.
All right, but I'll tell you that I love you. I love you.
Best to you.

Best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy, Christina, and I must say, we will say, and we do say.

Goodbye.

Bye. I take a dick and keep on licking.