Someone Check on Bryan!

If you're looking for expert guidance on finding your dream home, a place to start your next chapter, or getting in the door in your first home, chances are your family is trying to weigh in. Like your aunt who knows the perfect place for you and likes to say, if I'm being honest, I'll bid too often.
Or your savvy family member who swears by an ad. But it's not enough to just know you.

You need someone who gets you.

Someone who can make homeownership possible on your budget.

Who can look at what seems insurmountable

and confidently say, this is the way.

Only a realtor can guide you every step of the way

with equal parts resilience and hope.

Because no one cares more about helping Californians

live the California dream than realtors.

Thank you. every step of the way with equal parts resilience and hope because no one cares more about helping Californians live the California dream than realtors.
So I'll do respect to your aunt, but get the expertise from the best at championsofhome.com. California Association of Realtors.
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And welcome back to WSHIT, this hour of WSHIT news, sponsored by Jerry's Pawn Shop and Petting Zoo. At Jerry's, we're making deals while the piggies squeals.
On a follow-up to a follow-up story, after newly elected Mayor Slaubush announced that Tom Beetleberry would be the president of the Crabapple Women's Club, the citizens of the township were outraged. In response, Mayor Slaubush put out a video further enraging the citizens of Crabapple.
He then signed into law buy one get one mango margaritas at Margarita Chacharitas, causing the township to be further outraged and mostly drunk. In response to the BOGO declaration, the pastor of the hard sword of the Lord called the mayor and demanded that he rescind the buy one get one mango margaritas at Margarita Chacharitas.
So if you're following up to this point, everyone is outraged at everyone. Now with the entire township in chaos, Mayor Sloughbush has put another pin in the paddle, signing yet another mayoral declaration that Crabapple citizens can only drink two alcoholic beverages per week.
As you can imagine, most Crabappleians, this Crabappleian included, are very upset by this current declaration. Our man on the street, Jimmy Peckerwood, caught up with some people on Main Street to find out how they felt about being limited to just two alcoholic beverages per week.
Here's what one Crabapple citizen had to say. Two drinks a week? Well, that's just not feasible, not in this country.
Well, come on, man, two drinks a week, what's that gonna do for you? I mean, that doesn't even get you through a day. A reasonable amount, if you're at home, you should be able to have like four beer.
That's just two more. I mean, I'll have six, but four is a fair number.
And in further developing news, many citizens of the township have gathered in protest at Margarita Chacharitas and in a sign of solidarity are drinking as many alcoholic drinks as they possibly can, with some customers reportedly there for over 36 hours. While the local municipal hospital only reports a few minor injuries, the Crabapple Pharmacy has seen a run on pregnancy tests.
WSHIT will be first on the scene as soon as I get off my shift. We'll be back after this commercial break.
on this episode of the commercial break. Fortune favors the bold.
Fuck you. It's luck.
And luck is a roll of the dice. It's not because you're smarter than the rest of the people around you.
Likely you're dumber. The truth is, you just blindly walked into a goddamn nut.
So sit down and shut up. No one wants to hear it.
Elon Musk didn't invent the electric car. Jeff Bezos didn't invent books or the internet.
They got lucky. That's what happened.
Fuckers. Okay, maybe Mark Zuckerberg stole the idea for social media, but it wasn't a particularly good idea.
You see what it's done? Nothing. Nothing for nobody.
Except make Brian angry about Grant Cardone. Fuck you.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens.
Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris Joy Hoadley.
Best to you, Chris. And best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us.
Yes, I love that sound. Breaking news.
The Fyre Fest scam continues. And I couldn't be more puffed up about it i am fluffed this morning i gotta rock harder oh yeah the saga continues grissy alerted me i can't believe i didn't get this on my notifications as i'm paying close attention to the fire fest too as it falls all apart in so many different ways but billy has found yet another dipshit to hang on to his ideas as he has sold the FireFest IP, whatever that means.
I know. Whatever that means.
I don't even, how could, what? What is the FireFest IP? A literal flame that someone drew on Fiverr? The name Fire is spelled weirdly. Firae.
The Firae Fest has sold to a guy named Daniel Rausch. Rausch? Rausch? Or Craig.
Craig Krausch or something? Rausch. And the guy Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator started a true crime streaming channel, streaming service, that is essentially an app that you can get anyone in the United States of America that knows anything about applications to build you, probably for a song and a dance, like $100.
I mean, these things, they come out of the box now. You come out of the box, you connect it with the content, people download it, and then you just...
This is like SimCole FM. SimCole FM bought a program.
At the time, it was pretty expensive. It was like $4,500.
We bought a program. We loaded it with all this music and content that we had created, and then it would just run on a schedule.
We'd put it on a schedule. It would run on a server out there in the universe, and would connect to it and they'd hook up.
It's very simple technology comparatively speaking in 2025. So they have essentially gotten some developer in Bangladesh to build them a streaming application that's True Crime Network where they run Chris Hansen's new To Catch a Predator, which is the old To Catch a Predator just without the professional cameras or a major network uh and you pay $3.99 a month for it and they've bought billy's ip and they are starting a brand new streaming music service called firae and for the for $3.99 in the worst economy in almost 30 years yeah just add another streaming service you'll have the ability to see music on demand and then you'll also have no one's done that no one's done that before spotify pandora what was that title that uh jay-z was involved in puffy and uh jay-z going on yeah it's still going on uh and then but the the amazing this is, and this is where really, where I think this kind of breaks the mold, the part where I get interested in what a leap forward in technology Billy and his partners have created.
You'll have the ability to upvote or downvote the music. Putting the upvote, even if you upvote enough, then that music will be showcased more.
It's called analytics. Ooh.
Wa-bam. Wa-bam.
It's like Instagram. Wa-bam.
Just much worse. Without all the actual content.
Wa-bam. Is this like MTV's TRL? This is TRL.
Yes, in app form. No 1-800 number to call here.
No texting. No data rates may apply.
This is just $3.99 a month. You get the privilege of putting that right in Billy's pocket.
For what reason, I don't know. And I can promise you that what they will do is they will junk up that application by getting a bunch of bots to download it, to make it look like there's millions of people on it.
This is done pretty often in the app world, in case you didn't know, in all the worlds of streaming and everything, is that you get a bunch of bots to essentially attack the app, to pull it down, to use it. Even Facebook and Instagram have both been accused by insiders of doing this.
And I don't doubt it for one second. Clubhouse, all these places, they get fake users and then they open up the accounts and then they get bots to then transact on those accounts to make it look like there's engagement.
And then you get some larger company to come in and buy it. And what happens is the larger company realizes there was no traffic in the first place.
Yeah, we just took a $300 million bath. But they never say anything about it because they don't want to look like idiots to their investors.
So this happens all the time. Very rarely are you the commercial break level success where over 15 people are actually downloading you at the same time.
This is pretty well-worn territory. It's NFT-level scamming is what this is.
And what surprised me, quite frankly, is that Billy hasn't had his own NFT. Why FireFest 2 wasn't transacted on the blockchain, he really missed an opportunity to scam a lot more money out of people by not making this into an nft bitcoin bitcoin uh and the nfts are they're just they're on fire now they're seeing their way back into our consciousness i saw over 12 transactions happened yesterday on open c the nft open marketplace i went and looked at nfts dead after we were talking yeah after we were talking about it i said okay i got you know and i was really i, okay, I got, you know, and I was really, I was thinking about FireFest.

And I'm like, why didn't they get into the NFT game?

Maybe even they know that the NFT, maybe even Billy understands that the NFT game is too scammy for him.

And I went and looked and there are transactions that are happening on that blockchain.

Mostly around baseball cards and Pokemon cards.

So I guess the new thing to do is that you-

The collectible stuff.

It was always the collectible?

It was always the collectible.

Now you just pay extra

because you're using the blockchain to transact it.

But there's a company out there who's doing,

seems like it's doing pretty well,

transacting really like rare baseball cards

and Pokemon cards on the blockchain.

And then I guess you get to take,

I would hope that you get to take physical hold of it.

So essentially, when you think about it,

Thank you. cards and Pokemon cards on the blockchain.
And then I guess you get to take, I would hope that you get to take physical hold of it. So essentially, when you think about it, all NFTs have become is another PayPal.
That's it. That's all it is.
It's just another way to send money from one person to another with maybe a little more privacy, but not really privacy. And all of those NFTs, like board apes and stuff like that, they're just not transacting at any volume.
They're still expensive, but they're not transacting at any volume. I saw one board ape out there for like 63,000 US dollars.
Wow. And you can bid on stuff.
And so there are people that are bidding well below that, like in the 30s and 40s of thousands of dollars. Those things were transacting at millions of dollars.
And then what do you do once you have it?

Do you just show people?

Like a piece of art on the wall instead you're just-

Showing it on your phone.

Showing it on your phone.

Yeah, you show it on your phone.

Look at me.

I got a drawing of a monkey on my phone.

But then that can get you

into certain exclusive parties and places.

There's like a Bored Ape.

There's actually a Bored Ape Yacht Club, I believe. I think there's actually a place where you can go board ape cruise yeah a board ape cruise why not i'd like to see that cruise deodorant please nah if you're into nfts you're already you already got enough trouble i don't want to beat up on you you already lost enough money i don't want to beat up on you i did see a story uh on instagram and i don't know if it's true or not but it makes for interesting conversation about a guy in his late 20s who 12 years ago so he was a teenager bought bitcoin and forgot about the bitcoin how anybody would forget that they bought Bitcoin in 2025, I don't know.
So this is what makes me think, I don't know if this story is true. But he bought like 387 Bitcoin back then.
And now he just opened up his wallet over the last couple of days. So if you bought 387,000 Bitcoin, you'd be a millionaire a couple of times over now.
And you probably bought it for, I don't know, $600. Less than that.
Yeah, much less than that, $600. Actually, we have a friend, or we have a family friend, I think I've spoken about this before, who was an absolute degenerate.
I mean, an absolute degenerate from the moment that we met him. But we liked him because we were degenerates too.
So all the degenerates kind of hung out with each other, but he was like even more degenerate-y, if you know what I mean. He was like a couple of levels below, like even deodorant, please, would be the right way to put it.
Like he was just one of those kids and I don't think his parents cared about him all that much. So we always kind of felt for him.
It was like a special place in our heart. But you never got that close to him because you didn't know exactly what he was up to.
Right. He made millions and millions and millions of dollars on Bitcoin.
He got in early. He thought this was the best thing in the world.
He kept telling people around. Now, I didn't know him at this time, but one of my brothers did.
And he kept telling everybody, you got to buy into this Bitcoin. It's going to be huge.
It's going to be huge. And everybody ignored him because he was a degenerate of epic proportions.
He was like a class A degenerate. He was the kind of guy- What does this guy know? Yeah, what does this guy know? He's probably got bodies in the back of his, you know, buried somewhere in his house.
Like, what's going on with this guy? What's Bitcoin? What's that? Who cares? And he made millions and millions and millions of dollars, multiple houses around the world, living high on the hog in Northern California right now, has like a started a weed, like a legal weed business. He was in the illegal weed business, and then he went legal with the weed business.
And he just does that for fun. And he is retired forever.
And he is 10 years younger than I am. And so, yeah.
So it can happen. It can happen.
It just doesn't happen to me. I don't know where I fell off the turnip truck, but if an investment looks good to me, you should run away from it.
If Brian says here's a business opportunity I think is really going to work out, you should probably go the opposite direction and you too will be a millionaire. It's the old buy high, sell low philosophy.
Buy high, sell low. Look at this piece of real estate.
Everything else around it is selling for $100,000. This one's selling for a million.
There must be something special about that property. Yep, it's got a stream in the back.
And there's water, so you can't put a foundation, there's water under the ground. So you can't put a foundation there.
So you got to spend an extra $300,000 to put poles in the ground and oops, let's hire the cheap company because they're really good at what they do. And now those poles broke.
So let's do it again. It's going to sell for $6 million.
And the real estate agent says 600600,000. And he said, meet you in the middle.
And she says, $600,000. And you say, okay, $600,000.
Let's be optimistic we'll only lose a million dollars on this. And then she says, best and final offer, $326,000.
And then you say, get rid of that real estate agent. So the next real estate agent comes in.
He says, yeah, we'll sell for $8 million. Best and final $237,000 from the same guy who offered you $326,000.
Yep, I guess we'll have to take that. That's how Brian's crash course in real estate.
Yeah, we're just talking about how real estate is like the... Yes, we were.
If you think NFTs is the scammiest business out there, try real estate for a living. That's, I mean, not, there are certainly lots of well-heeled developers and people in real estate that do very well and they build homes for people and people seem happy about it, but it is just like such a tough...
People seem happy. People seem happy about it.
But is anybody really happy about having 500, 600, a million dollars in debt to the bank? I mean, I don't know. Anyway, whatever.
It's just like the biggest scam ever on earth, that let's take something that is really just part of earth, and then let's put a value on it, and then we'll give it to the bank. Then they can lean on it so they have your balls in a sack for the rest of your life.
I mean, it's just – and then every step of the way, everyone's getting everybody else with a bunch of money, except for Brian. Except for Brian.
Except for Brian. You know, you should have become a coach.
I should have become a coach. I should have.
But even I knew that was like where the real scammy people go. You know, I was listening to one of the biggest con artists in the game, my opinion, Grant Cardone.
Did you know Grant Cardone? Yes, I've heard. Yeah.
He's been around for a while. He's been around for a very long time.
10X. Anybody who's heard of Grant Cardone will hear 10X.
10X everything. 10X everything.
What does that mean? Yeah, 10X. So let me tell you a little story about Grant Cardone.
Now, I i don't know grant personally i was in a few clubhouse rooms with him i talked with him briefly for a couple of minutes but i've never really been on board with grant cardone and there's a lot of people who have sued grant cardone i don't know all the ins and outs of that i'm not claiming i ever had any interaction with grant cardone so this is, I'm not claiming anything about Grant Cardone because he is litigious. He's not listening to my show, but Grant Cardone is really like a sketchy son of a bitch.
It's been known. It's widely understood in the real estate business that he is.
That's just the way that it is. How he got there, I don't know.
I'm any of those claims but i knew a guy i when i first met when i got in the in the real estate business and this guy was one of those dudes who he looked very presentable and he appeared to be very smart that's the first step to scamming everybody because you have to appear presentable and then you have to you know then you have to talk the talk and so I remember sitting down with my partner at the time. We're brand newbies in the real estate business.
But here's the thing about the real estate business. Everybody who takes a weekend course then thinks they're experts on the business.
So all the newbies come in with the attitude that we have been doing this for like 50 years. We don't know nothing, but you have to go in looking like you know something.
So here we are in these suits and ties sitting in a patio next to the Chattahoochee River. It's July.
I'm sweating my potatoes off. And there's this guy across and he's giving us a 15 page PowerPoint presentation on an apartment complex mixed use that he's going to build somewhere North of Atlanta.
It's only going to cost $385 million. And he's never personally been involved in a $385 million project, but he knows all the pieces of the puzzle.
He knows all the players. He's got the money raised, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
This guy goes off and instantaneously, even though I've taken a weekend real estate course and I know better than anybody else, in the back of my mind know that I don't really know anything but I know that this is bullshit how does this guy have 385 million dollars raised and then why is he all he needs is a million dollars so he can get the permits and then it all comes into play right that's it that's what every scammer ever said all I need is that one piece of the puzzle and then it all comes rolling it's like a it's basically a nigerian oriole scam yes if i could just borrow fifty thousand dollars i could

get a hundred million out of nigeria and i'll give it back you'll you'll make 10 times i'll give you 80 of my hundred million dollars if i could just borrow seven dollars on an apple gift card that you buy at walmart don't tell your friends. It's basically how it goes.

So this guy, whose name is also Brian. So this guy, he kind of travels around the circle of

real estate people we know, and he tries to get everybody investing in all of these cockamamie

things that he claims he's doing. And everybody with any good sense understands that this is

just not true. It's way too good to be true.
He doesn't have $385 million. I doesn't know anybody with, and if he does have $385 million, why is he having trouble raising 50,000? It just doesn't make any sense.
So, but he travels in this like real estate circle of human beings. And he looks good and he talks.
He looks good. He talks good.
He's always, he's always with a good looking girl. He's shaking hands.
He's kissing babies. So, but pretty soon the whispers start and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then pretty soon, like people in the business are looking for him because they, he owes them money. And like, you know, Hey, have you seen this guy? I got to talk to him.
He owes me money, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, no, I don't, I really don't know.
I don't know because I never loaned him any money, so I didn't keep tabs on the guy, but whatever. A year later, he pops up on Instagram and Facebook, and he's making these videos from a multi-million dollar mansion in West Palm Beach, Florida.
And I mean, here's my new house. It's a club.
We're turning it into a club for $10,000 a month. You can be part of my club.
I just bought this beautiful property. And everybody is like, well, holy shit.
He did it. He figured out a way to actually do something.
This beautiful property in West Palm Beach, Florida, multimillion dollar spread right on the beach. And if it's being shown on Instagram, it has to be true.

Right.

Well, he's doing this for like months he's making these videos.

Until in the comments section,

people start saying that he is not actually,

he doesn't actually own the house.

He rented it on Airbnb

and the owners can't get him out.

It's like people are like posting,

you need to leave the house. You know, this is these poor people's house.
They're trying, they're not poor people. I've heard about that.
Yeah. He's squatting inside of the Airbnb, but he's like, you know, responding.
This is my house. It's a misunderstanding, blah, blah, blah.
It's like this whole fight that's going on. Okay.
All right. So it's clearly he's scammed somebody and he's getting caught and blah, blah, blah.
Eventually he gets evicted from the house. Everybody learns this.
Everybody in the circle that we run in learns that he gets evicted from this house. In 2020, I think, and like right in the pandemic, so he goes away for two years.
And then all of a sudden, right when we start the show, all of a sudden, he pops up again after no one hears from him for years. We thought he might be in jail.
We didn't know. Yeah, yeah.
No one hears from him for years. All of a sudden, he pops up again after no one hears from him for years.
We thought he might be in jail. We didn't know.
Yeah, yeah. He's gone.
After no one hears from him for years, all of a sudden, he pops up. He is part of Grant Cardone's brand new streaming television service, 10X.
Streaming television service, just like Fyre Fest, just like Fyre Fest. It's this shitty website that Grant Cardone has where 24 hours a day, scammy real estate guys are teaching scammy real estate techniques.
For 1995. For 1995 plus 1995 shipping and handling, you too can scam your grandma to the last $15,000.
For 1995 plus 1995 shipping and handling, Brian from Atlanta Real Estate Infamy will teach you how to squat in an Airbnb. Make it look like it's yours.
This guy pops up on Grant Cardone's website, giving like a daily course on what to do in real estate. Chrissy, one day, if I didn't think Grant was so fucking litigious, I would show you some of these videos, which still live on that website to this day.
At least last time I checked a couple months ago. still live on.
I have never heard such mumbo jumbo come out of anybody's mouth in my entire life. It is absolute horse hockey.
It is clear that he knows nothing about this. And these are the type of people that Grant Cardone surrounds himself with.
This Grant Cardone guy is a real fucking lug nut, a real fucking lug nut. And he's on one of those business channels the other day.
They're talking about tariffs, which are just killing everybody in the world, right? They're going to kill the economy worldwide. And they're already doing so actually.
And actually, as we're recording this right now, it seems like Donald Trump is all of a sudden, he's given up on the tariffs. No more tariffs.
Don't worry about it. No more tariffs.
Because he knows that he's tanking the economy and now he's getting nervous people are

privately biting his ear and saying you this isn't about high prices this is about empty shelves and people are going to go bananas you're going to cause chaos and so all of a sudden yesterday he said no no more tariffs no bad donald trump good and i can't even keep up with it all i mean know briefly I briefly do, but. But listen to this.
So Grant Cardone is on one of these business channels and he says, all you people out there, all you real estate guys, all you brokers, all you small business, big business people that are complaining about tariffs, you need to shut up and sit down. This isn't about you.
This is about Donald Trump taking control of the situation. It's like, oh, okay, this isn't about us.
This is about everybody. It just goes to show that Grant Cardone knows shit from Shinola about business, and yet he continues to do it again.
Him, Billy McFarlane, Stephen Roush, and now Craig Roush, Bob Joush, whatever his name is. And now Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC.

All in the same category of fucking lug nuts that get lifted up into the stream of consciousness as business gurus when the truth is experts when the truth is no one's really an expert on anything no one really knows shit about anything we're all stumbling through life blind as a fucking bat hoping that we get a goddamn nut like a squirrel in a tree and if we do we are lucky lucky and we should consider ourselves so and we should shut up sit down and be nice to the people around us amen because luck fortunes does not fortune the brave or whatever the fuck you say.

Fortune favors the bold.

Fuck you.

It's luck. And luck is a roll of the dice.

It's not because you're smarter than the rest of the people around you.

Likely you're dumber.

The truth is you just blindly walked into a goddamn nut.

So sit down and shut up. No one wants to hear it.
Elon Musk didn't invent the electric car. Jeff Bezos didn't invent books or the internet.
They got lucky. That's what happened.
Fuckers. Okay, maybe Mark Zuckerberg stole the idea for social media, but it wasn't a particularly good idea.
You see what it's done? Nothing. Nothing for nobody except make Brian angry about Grant Cardone.
Fuck you. All right.
Let that out of the system. With that, let's take a break.
And when we get back, we're going to go completely the opposite direction.

Yes.

I'm going to tell you about the Swingers Cruise.

Temptations.

Oh.

Oh.

All right.

We're talking about lucky.

We'll hear someone review the cruise when we get back.

Okay.

When we get back.

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple.
Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command.
Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do. Leave a message for her, or me, or Chrissy at 212-433-3TCB.
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Just call and say something, anything, or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise.
Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide.
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I took my blood pressure medication and now I feel better. I get so worked up that all these idiots just fall upward all the time.
I know. And you probably see more of it.
Oh, I've seen a lot of it. Come through your feed and stuff too because you were in the business.
Well, I've seen a lot of it personally. And then I see a lot of it just going on.
Just people just falling upwards. Complete idiots and scam artists and con artists.
And they just keep falling upward into more and more money and more and more fame and more and more riches. And, you know, I guess that's the world we live in in 2025.
But again, it's, I think it's really more about luck than it is about expertise. Because if you look around at some of these billionaires, and millionaires and people who have just like kind of come into money, it's like that guy that degenerate that we knew.
Yes, he had some forethought to look into Bitcoin and say this could be something down the line. But do you think he really knew when he saw at that moment that Bitcoin is going to be worth $100,000? Of course not.
He's a degenerate. He couldn't even be high on acid.
Decided that was good. All right.
So, Temptations. I followed this lady who had an interesting couple of reels one time, and she's a sex therapist and sex coach.

Okay.

And maybe someday we'll get her on.

But her most recent reel, or the most recent reel that got served to me, she was on a cruise ship.

And the cruise ship, like the promenade, part of the promenade, which is that big galley area in the front of her, in the cruise ship when you walk on, had been totally cleared out.

And there were 48 beds with new linens put down on that promenade. Oh, wow.
And she was talking to one of the concierge. And this guy was a man from a different country.
I would assume maybe the Philippines or something like that. He had an accent, cute as a button.
Dude was cute as a button. And he, she was asking, you know, how do you like being the concierge of this whole setup? And he, she, he goes, yeah, it's fine with me, you know? And what do you think about being around a bunch of people who are having sex at the same time? And he said, Hey, listen, it's just part of the job.
Doesn't bother me one bit. I've seen it on TV.
I've done it myself. You know, I'm, I, whatever.
Cool. You know, I'm just here to clean up and get you drinks, I guess.
And I was shot. Clean up and get you drinks is what he said.
And I was shocked. I was like, wow.
So what this was, was essentially a cruise where they had set up 40 plus beds in the same room so that people could fuck. And then you could have drinks and someone would come clean up your tasty teeners

when you were done, I guess.

I don't know, towel you down.

Not sure how that works.

But I got fast.

Here's a cool lemon towel.

Yeah, like one of those hot towels you get at the, what do you call them?

The hibachi grill.

Or the spa.

Yeah, or the really nice plane flights, like when you go on first class and they bring you a hot towel here's one for your tea bags uh and this just fascinated the shit out of me are there really cruises dedicated to just swing because you can't do this like i'd be really upset if i went on royal caribbean and the promenade on Tuesday night, like on our sail away day, had a bunch of people just fucking, yeah. It wouldn't be the, I'm not saying I would be against it.
I just wanted to be against it if my family was there also. Of course, yeah.
So this clearly had to be. Well, it makes sense.
I mean, there are these sex parties that people have at clubs and different things.

In fact, you went to one one time.

Not because you wanted to participate.

Not because I wanted to participate, but because I was doing a concert next door.

Yes.

Jam Land.

Jam Land Productions was putting on its weekly loss of money for the bar.

With its shitty jam bands and occasionally a DJ slipped in there. And then there's resorts that you can go to.
So it makes sense there's a cruise. So Temptations Resort apparently is a swingers resort or a singles resort or whatever you want to call it, adults-only resort.
And Temptations has started to put on cruises.

They rent an entire cruise ship, just like Heather McMahon did,

or the wrestling people do, or the bad 90s rock bands.

Smash Mouth used to have a cruise.

And Jam Cruise is one that's been going on for a long time.

That's very popular.

It sells out every year.

And so these cruise ships are up for rent,

and you can rent them for private occasions, just like you could rent restaurants for a private occasion if you had enough money or enough people to do it. And so twice a year now, Temptations, apparently the resort, puts on a cruise where you go down on a Caribbean cruise.
It's like a four-day sail away, four-day fuck away. And there's international waters.
That's right. You hoist hoist a flag, you hoist your sales, yeah, you hoist your pineapple flag and then you hoist your other flag and you meet some other frisky folks and you get down to it.
And so I thought, well, okay, I want to know more about it. I found one or two videos about it, but I understand these people that we're about to review, they also do vlogs from the actual cruise, but they don't show any of the juicy parts because of course they can't show any of the juicy parts.
There's privacy involved and all that other stuff. But I thought, why don't we do an after cruise review and let's hear what's going on there on the cruise ship.
I'd love to. Okay.
All right. So this is what we're about to listen to.
Here we go. Two young looking, nice looking couple sitting in front of their couch.
Typical vlog type shit. Typical stuff.
It's all about Temptation Cruise versus Temptation Resort. Before we start, she says, let's make sure that we get all of our merch.
Looking for the best lifestyle merch?

We got you.

All right.

Okay.

We're going to fast forward through their commercial.

Merch.

Questions about.

Yeah, merch.

By the way, we're going to have merch on the 12 hours of TCB.

Which one would be better for you?

And we're going to be talking about the differences between both because they're both very fun, but very, very different.

If our content helps you out at all and you plan on going to temptation cruise or temptation resort sometime in the future we would greatly appreciate if you would use our links to book your vacation right here may i mention that the link is the number for our play.com slash travel we'll give him a shout outrplay.com slash travel. In case you're into that kind of thing.
4rplay.com slash travel for more information about all the different types of resorts and cruises that there are. And it doesn't cost you anything extra, but it helps us out a ton and we would greatly appreciate it.
So if you do book the cruise specifically, we do go on all of those. And so for all of those, we do a few little extra activities.
We do a group dinner. We do a group meet and greet so everyone everyone kind of gets to know everybody.
We also have a group online. So you kind of get to know people before you actually go on the trip.
And so there's a few actual little things like that that we do. We also give out some little.
Where you can target your partner. Yeah.
We have a. We have a free party where we oil each other down.
A fluffing party, if you will. Yeah.
Some stuff that are personalized. And so if you guys are going are going on the cruise you book through us or if you're going really to the resort at all if you book through our links it just helps to support us and be able to continue to make content like this so we really appreciate if you consider it and we also want to say that we are going to try to compare these and it's not going to be the most extreme deep dive into both we do have extreme deep dives into the cruises and the no pun intended intended.
And so we'll have those videos linked below. So after you finish this one, if you want to get even more details about maybe some of the night parties or more details about this, make sure to go watch those specific videos because that will help you learn even more.
So the first thing we want to... Wow, that was six minutes of commercials.
Okay, are we done now? First of all, second of all, turn off your air conditioner and get a microphone, please. So loud in there.
We're really excited about that. That has recently kind of happened.
Kind of weird music. Yeah.
Lose the music bed. I know I've been accused of playing music beds too much too, but I think I wouldn't have it running the entire video.
Temptation Cruise has always just been February. And starting in 2025, it is going to be in February and in November.
So you get double penetration. That's right.
So there's going to be two different sailings, which can help a lot of people out because I know everything, you know, sometimes people can only know during certain times of the year. Nothing like a pre-Thanksgiving.
Nothing like a pre-Thanksgiving dick down. Exactly.
They're flushing. Oh, man.
Can you imagine? This guy says sometimes people have trouble taking time off work. If you're into this kind of thing, you're taking – Yeah.
Yeah. You probably own your own business.
You're making the time. You don't care.
You're quitting your job. Yes.
So we want to say that first. So if you were not aware, so we will be on that one as well.
So there's going to be a February and a November sailing now. And so, yes, we have not been on that one but we have talked to them and it should have a very similar feel to the february one and so we're really looking forward to the fact that there's going to be two temptation cruises every single year i'm looking forward to get pounded by the way double earrings i like you guy you're going brave with the double earrings and the double necklace and And double necklace, double chains.
To talk about the demographic.

On the cruise, it's more about 40 to 50 with a skew on each side.

You'll see younger people as well, and you'll see people who are older as well.

That is very good information.

Did you pick up on that?

Yes.

It's 40 to 50 with a skew on each side.

As opposed to what?

As opposed to what?

I don't know. that yes it's 40 to 50 with a skew on each side as opposed to what as as opposed to what and then at the resort it's a little bit more like 35 to 45 so it does skew a little bit younger at the resort temptation as a whole is not technically branded as a swinger resort or a swinger cruise it is more an adult spring break what we have noticed though is adult spring break with beds in the promenade and the guy who fluffs you, a guy who cleans up.
Yeah. I don't know.
I don't know. From the cruises, we feel like there is a larger population of swingers or people in the lifestyle on these cruises where the resort seems to be more of a mix.
While yes, at the resort, there is a lot of people who are swingers. We've also noticed a lot of people that are just going there for an adult friendly vacation.
We met people. You got to be really into wanting to be around just adults.
Yeah, not actually participate in everything, but just be around it. I think horny guys in their 30s who want to see a lot of tits probably is what that is.
That's just my guess. I don't know.
I'm not trying to like brand everybody. Listen, and by the way, I have nothing against the swinger community.
No, of course not. God bless you.
Have fun. Do your thing.
But it's just a little funny to me. I think if you're going to Temptations, you're pretty open to a lot of stuff.
Yeah. Their last time they said they looked up kid-free resort and that's where they ended up.
Well, I mean, that's a big difference. I'm going to have to say I just was at an adults only or a kid-free resort and it certainly was not swinging.
When you look up kid-friendly resort or kid-free resort and Temptations is the name of the resort It's not Sandals. Maybe do a little more research.
Yeah, Sandals is kid-free resort. And Temptations is the name of the resort? It's not Sandals.
Maybe do a little more research. Sandals is kid-free.
Temptations is full of dicks. It's dick plus.
It's either kid-free or dick plus. You figure out which one you want to go to.
A lot of bachelor, bachelorette-type groups there. And so you will notice that there's a lot more singles at the resort.
And there's also just a lot more people that are not bachelor party i mean i think i might be pissed i think i've got an idea going to a swinger resort for your bachelor party and i'm ready to marry you i mean listen one last hurrah they say right chrissy yeah forget about the strip clubs yeah i can only imagine what kind of bachelor and bachelorette parties there they just want an adult friendly vacation where as the cruise this happens too but a lot of people that we feel like we do interact with on the cruise are in the swinging lifestyle or at least are aware of the swinging lifestyle and who's not aware of the swinging lifestyle dude okay i get it you're not like this isn't your full-time job to do to do of stuff. But that's okay.
Somewhat, you know, maybe involved in some sort of aspect. The cruise definitely feels more like a lot of couples where the resort is, again, like he said, more of a mix.
You're not going to see bachelor bachelorette parties on the cruise. The cruise, there's fewer singles.
Like, you won't see that many singles. But at the resort, you'll see that there's quite a few however if you are going to temptation resort when there is a lifestyle takeover there are some that are more geared towards people in the life lifestyle takeover hashtag 2025 is this a jam cruise what why is your dick out dude i came to see smash mouth and all I'm seeing is a bunch of squishy penises.
Where's Smash Mouth? Third Eye Blind. I was told that is a third eye.
That is a third eye. I do see that.
I see how I got confused on this one. Those ones will be all people who are in the lifestyle.
33 Penis at Temptations Resort. I was just thinking the same thing.
Maybe i can get the guys back together 33 willie although they've all sworn me off i can't even get a return phone call anymore really you wonder why those wouldn't be allowed in at that time since they are taking over the entire resort so length when it comes to the cruise length let about length. Well, we're going right into it.
Look on the bottom, the very bottom of the screen in tiny print, it says length. The cruises are five nights.
It's pretty set and standard. That's one good thing about the resorts.
If you like to maybe go for a little weekend, you can go for two or three days. Now these places do normally have a minimum of two night stay.
So usually it's at least two nights but if you like to maybe go for a little weekend you can go for two or three days now these places do normally have a minimum of two night stay so usually it's at least two nights but if you wanted to be there for a week or two weeks i guess however long you wanted to be there you can be there that long and so that's a good thing to note one thing that we take into consideration with this is when you go on a cruise you get on with everybody at the same time you get off with everybody at the same time. And so you have a chance to make it.

That is usually how it works.

You're not picking at people along the way.

I wonder if this is more

of a review.

It's less of a review

and more of an

aliens came down to Earth

and wanted to know

what a cruise is.

So they're letting them know.

Connections.

And you know people

are going to be there

for that entire duration.

Whereas at the resort.

AKA you're stuck. AKA you're stuck aka you're stuck and so is he oh no all the concierge bruce oh bruce you may meet someone you really love the first night you get there and they're going home the next day so you're going to see more of a turnover at the resorts because people are constantly coming in and out.
Turnover is the key word. I got turned over a couple times, Chrissy.
Oh, stop it. You meet someone and they leave the next day.
I'm pretty sure if you go to one of these places, you're not looking for a long-term relationship. If someone leaves the next day, you're just assuming that's part of the game, right? Something else to take into consideration.
We got to do to do a podcast, I think. You know, we have a lot of ideas about where to go, like, you know, the Juggalos or Jazz Fest or Coachella or whatever.
Or Ryan Waymo. What's that? Or Ryan Waymo.
Or Ryan Waymo, that's right. Or the Braves Stadium, which will never let us in, but we can just pretend like we're official.
But I think really where the rubber meets the road for us where the juice is worth the squeeze so to speak would be the Temptations Cruise. Not as participants, but as observers.
Live from Temptations Cruise. Live from Temptations Cruise.
And then take us to the resort. Can you drop us off at the resort? I'm sure we'll be sick of the smell of semen by that point, but we can get on to the resort and give an actual review without all the details like on a cruise, you get on with everybody and you leave with everybody.
One of those kind of groupings and meeting people works better for you. And the weekends are definitely going to be the busiest at the resort.
So especially Friday, Saturday are going to be the busiest days of the week you don't as are every resort yes okay so the next chapter is called size length you gotta be kidding me they named the chapters they knew what they were doing length and size onto the size temptation resort he's got a little smirk on his face. He knows.
It's much smaller than the cruise. So there's about 430 rooms at the resort.
And so, and not all of those are couple rooms. So you could say about 800 or so people, 850 people.
Whereas on the cruise, it can be anywhere from about 2,500 people up to about 3,000 people. Wow.
Geez. That's a lot.
Wow. That's a lot of people looking to get hammered in more ways than one.
Yeah. Maybe 3,500.
And that's just going to depend on whichever ship they are using to sail. Next time I'm going to Disney Cruise, I'm going to look for a pineapple on the door.
You know, a lot of people stick stickers on the door, Mickey stickers, Donald stickers, you know, princess stickers, whatever. I bet there's some cheeky motherfuckers out there who have like a little pineapple sticker so you gotta look for even on a disney cruise yeah all that specific cruise so if you're looking for more people more variety the cruise is definitely a better option but it is good to know that you said yes it's 800 people at the resort but since you have turnover you are going to meet more people but there is a

larger population of people on the cruises so we are now going to talk about how it's organized okay they they left the uh they couldn't find a good one for this um yeah listen uh if i'm into that kind of thing i probably am feeling like a smaller group of people that i could get to know easier is better.

3,500, 3,000 seems like a lot

of people. It's very overwhelming.
Yeah, I'm overwhelmed with all the dicks coming to my direction. Yeah, also it's a crapshoot because you don't know.
Like at least maybe at the resort there is more turnover. There's more options.
You've got more options. If you don't like somebody on the cruise.
Cruise, you're stuck. Yeah, plus it's 40 to 50 with people on each side.
Yeah. So, you know.
The biggest thing that is a distinct factor between these two is Temptation Resort does not have playrooms. If you're wanting to do, you know, spicy group activities, that is going to be in somebody's room.
And that's really the only option for that. As far as the cruise goes, they do have playrooms aboard.

And so if you're looking more... Jeez.

They have separate rooms from your room with the playroom.

Yes.

Well, this is just like the sex club that I went to.

What's that?

Yes.

Yes.

They have different rooms and those rooms have different themes.

Like when I went to the sex party, I told you there was a room with multiple mattresses in it.

And it was just a lot of people getting dicked down.

Right.

A lot of guy on girl action with some observers doing whatever they were doing.

But then there was like a themed room with bondage, and then there was another themed room with toys, right?

Now, here's what I'm wondering.

Can we have like some kind of alert system as to which cruise ships were used for this right before I decided to get on my regular cruise? Yeah, before they're sprayed down and used again. Like, you know, the Oasis of the Seas, which is one of those huge Royal Caribbean ships that are very nice and have malls in them and, you know, multiple floors of retail and shopping and restaurants and all that.
I'm going to want to know ahead of time if my restaurant was just used

as a jizz factory. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, as a slip inside.
As a slip inside. For a place that has playrooms, Temptation Cruise is definitely going to be a better option.
So the resort has a huge pool. I mean, it is massive.
And that is generally where people are hanging out. They have a party pool, which is normally where they're doing all the parties.
They have the most loud kind of music there. I'm wondering if they have the same alert system as Great Wolf Lodge does.
With the foreign objects. Oh yeah, the yellow alert or brown alert.
Browntown. Browntown, pool one.
Browntown, pool run. Yeah, you...
This is why I do not like hot tubs under any circumstances that have been used by anybody else, except for maybe a private hot tub at like a friend's house or something like that. But now it's got me thinking about the pools.
I mean, come on. Like, I hope they...
I just hope to God that there is some kind of procedure after these. I don't mind the parties.
Go have the parties. It sounds like a lot of fun if you're into that type of thing.
Yeah, for sure. Sounds like there's not a lot of places where this can happen.
Like, you don't go to a Ruby Tuesdays on a Tuesday and see a dick down room. You just don't, right? Also, you just don't go to Ruby Tuesdays.
Yeah, you just don't go to, I don't even think they exist anymore. Oh, I got to tell you about Mix, but I'll tell you about that next episode.
But, you know, like, we just got to have some kind of procedure for de-lousing after this whole thing goes down. Got to be.
Because if there's the... I hate pee.
I hate poop. I really hate vomit.
But if there's something above that in my mind, it's some other dude's jizz. It's really my own j jizz but then right above that is some other dude's jizz do you know what i'm saying and all that stuff mixed together we've all we've all had a friend who's been at our house and then you walk into the room and you're like shit smells like jizz in here you know they were fucking you know what i'm saying let's be adults about it there is a distinct smell to sex and you know it when you smell it and it's not your own and you know it when you smell it and it is your own so if we're gonna have these like kind of lifestyle takeovers can we also have like a cleaning uh party too like uh somebody goes yeah extra deep extra deep clean pun intended all right let's take a break and we'll get back to more of this i don't know telling us about how cruise ships work, extra deep.
Extra deep, clean, pun intended. All right, let's take a break and we'll get back to more of this, I don't know, telling us about how cruise ships work, I guess.
How cruises and resorts work. That's right.
Just be the weather's sake. There you go.
Why don't you text us? And we can text back. And then you can text us in reply.
And so on. It's a fun little game I I've been playing and I think you'll be great at it.
212-433-3TCB That's 212-433-3822 You could leave a message too. If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show.
But be warned, the pay is not great. You could go to the website and drop us an email also,

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Who doesn't want a free sticker? Just go to the contact us button and ask for one. Follow us on Insta at thecommercialbreak and watch the episodes at youtube.com slash thecommercialbreak.
Now I'm going to go back to that texting game. You want to play? Come on.
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All right, we're back with the Dick and Cruise. But real quick, I just wanted to mention that Danny Ricker was on Jimmy Kimmel on Wednesday, so two days ago, essentially.
So go watch that appearance. Danny was great.
We got a lot of great feedback about that. Maybe more feedback than we've had on most interviews on Danny Ricker, who is not the most famous guy we've ever had on the show.
I mean, I think he would readily admit that too, but he wrote a book. It's called, Wow, You Look Terrible.
It's available now on sale. Links in the show notes, all that.
So I was telling Danny, congratulations on your upcoming appearance. This was a couple days ago.
And he's going to be on the show with Ben Affleck, who obviously is one of the most famous people in the world. His new movie, The Accountant, too, is getting great reviews.
And so I actually was one of the only human beings in history that saw the movie Surviving Christmas with Ben Affleck. Oh, yeah.
You probably don't even. I do, actually.
I saw it, too. In the theater? Not in the theater, but this past Christmas, I was looking for things.
Okay. And I saw that.
I couldn't finish it. I couldn't make it through the entire movie.
So I told Danny to tell Ben that he owes me $20 refund for Surviving Christmas. I shouldn't be hard to find because I was probably the only one who actually saw it in the movie.
It's got a lot of good people in it is the thing. And that's why I thought I'd watch it.
Yeah. It was not good.
No, it was not good. I think we left about 57 minutes, 47 minutes into the movie and I haven't walked out of many movies but this one I just had to walk out of.
God bless you, Ben. You've made a lot of my favorite movies.
Well, okay, whatever. I don't want to get a whole Ben Affleck conversation.
We'll do that next week. Okay, alright.
Back to Temptations, Cruises, and Resorts. We're hearing a review.
So far they haven't reviewed much, but okay. We'll

see. We'll give it a few more minutes here.

Resort, they also have a quiet pool.

That is where people kind of go if

you want to be a little bit more relaxed. It's just a little

walkover. It's not far at all, but they

kind of have both of those options. Oh, I like

a quiet pool.

If you accidentally got on this cruise

and you need a break, head to the quiet break yes for the people who don't scream the cruises generally because it depends on what boat it's on has a couple main pools and there's normally one main pool party area and there's some other hut i like how all this footage looks like it's hidden camera footage they're showing little tiny clips of places where there's no other human being in sight,

and it looks literally like they hid a camera

in their hat or something.

Like, it's that kind of footage.

Probably because they have an absolutely no filming rule

on the cruise and the resort.

I wonder if they have lifeguards at these pools.

Yeah.

No running.

No running. No jumping.
Tits are not a flotation device sir spread around that and then they also have a solarium generally the solarium is the place where normally people will go to be a little bit more quiet it's not as loud generally no music in there so they both offer those things and then i know i mentioned hot tubs a little bit the cruise has hot tubs on the pool deck kind of by the party as well as in the solarium so you kind of have hot tubs in both areas and yeah but where does the fucking happen that's what i want to know you're giving a review about a cruise ship who cares and the resort has some hot tubs kind of above the pools and then there's also a hot tub that's at one of the higher levels you're like yeah you're where these are located. You're telling us about the location of hot tubs.
I'll realize when I get there, they give me a map. It's okay.
Or I have Google just like every other person does. Come on, dude, you got to give us the juicy stuff.
Like, you know, if you're looking for rough sex, then, you know, the cruise is the better. Head to this area.
Head to the, yeah, head to the dueling piano bar.

You can get it from both.

Double penetration at the dueling piano bar.

Depending on what kind of ticket you have and what kind of room you're in,

you're able to go up to that bigger hot tub.

They're both pretty similar with the party type feel.

You have to have a special ticket to get up to the... Oh, wow.

I didn't know you had to buy extra access.

What is this, Disney World?

A lightning lane pass to get to the slip and slide party that's weird they both have main parties at the nighttime and they have kind of pool parties at the daytime we'll get a little bit more into details of the parties later but it's also i don't know i'm gonna make it to later you got to give us some more details here bud this is there's no details here. It's good to know that the resort is on the beach.

So you're right there.

You can just walk right off the resort and you're on.

Okay.

The resort is on the beach.

The beach resort's on the beach.

There's a beach at the beach resort.

Congratulations.

Oh, and there's yacht parking there.

Can you imagine you pull up?

You're like yachting around the world and you pull up the temptations.

It's a 70 year old dude with a half hard meets you.

Nice beach.

We'll be right back. Imagine you pull up, you're like yachting around the world and you pull up the Temptations.
Some 70-year-old dude with a half-hard meets you. That's a pretty looking resort.
You are more going, you are stopping at different ports, you're seeing more different places, but it's not necessarily always just on an exact beach. So as far as areas...
We know what a cruise is, dude. ...to hang out during the day.
It's going to kind of vary obviously between both. The resort, I would say, has less areas to hang out, but still has several areas.
People are going to hang out at the pool. You know, you can go to all the restaurants.
You have... Did you see him? Yes.
He gave the peace symbol. Lobby.
You have the hot tubs and you have, you know, the little coffee bar type thing, the normal bars. So there is definitely areas to hang out.
The cruise is just a larger space. So there is going to be more areas to go around and kind of hang out during the daytime.
But they both have plenty of options. So if you're wanting to hang out, just have a nice time in the day and you don't want to party party, you definitely have options.
This question is asked a ton and it's about the clothing optional aspect of. Okay, now we're in the details we want to know.
Let's go. Okay, here we go.
Each one. The resort is topless optional as well as the cruise.
However, on the cruise in the solarium areas, they do have places where you can be completely nude. And of course, the cruise also has the playrooms where you could be nude in the playrooms and the resort does not have that.
The way that they portrayed the solarium earlier was a quiet place. It was a quiet place.
But now it's nude. Yes.
Well, if I'm getting naked, I'm also being quiet. Hoping no one notices what's going on down below.
If I'm taking off my clothes, everyone's shutting up. They're all going, oh, oh, let's go to the promenade i think things have turned taking a turn for the worst barry get your towel darling we're going to the promenade you do have more options for that clothing optional aspect on the cruise versus the resort and you can only be topless optional at the pools at the hot tubs on the deck on the.
So it's not like you're walking throughout the hotel or throughout the entire cruise and a ton of people are topless. There are areas where you can be topless and all the other areas you are not allowed to be topless.
Why not? Why does it fucking matter? That was my exact question. Why does it matter? Okay, restaurants, buffets, I understand.
Yes. Okay, even men, women, everybody, you want to have a shirt on so you don't get boob sweat, flop sweat, and pants.
You don't want to get nut sweat in the potato salad. Yeah.
Or hair. Oh, God forbid.
But if you're walking down the hallway at Temptations and you just got back from the pool where everyone was naked, half naked at least, Why does it matter if there's a pair of tits walking down the thing?

They're just tits.

Let them fly.

Who cares?

But I agree.

When it comes to food, around food, sanitation.

But even at the bar, like if you're not serving any food and you're just at the bar, I don't care if someone's nude.

Or nude. Let me tell you, the sex party that I went to, there was no part of the party where clothing was not optional.
Do you exactly. No, it just makes sense.
Let it all be optional. Absolutely.
And the resort do have different theme nights every single night. The one thing is at the resort, it's going to be the same theme nights every day of the week per week, if that makes sense.
So usually throughout the entire year, those themes are going to stay the same, which makes sense because there's people coming in and going out throughout the entire year versus this guy reminds me of our it guy when we work together doesn't he yeah he does yeah it's always the unassuming one yep cruise since it only sells twice a year they're able to be a little bit more creative with the themes in that way and so you have a bit more specific themes on the cruise where people are that make no sense to me no you only have five nights on the cruise you have seven nights a week at the resort so in just mathematically speaking you're actually able to be more creative with the seven nights than the Five nights. So it doesn't make much sense to me, but okay.
Well, she was saying themes stayed the same each week, but then they change on the cruise, but that's only one week. It's only one week a year.
Because you haven't even had, well, they haven't even had the first November cruise yet. That only happens here in 2025, according to them.
So yeah, that mathematically doesn't make sense, but but okay that's up on theme more so on the cruise than they do at the resort so next we're gonna go into food they are very different when it comes to food now the one thing that definitely is very i do care about my food i gotta get carb load before i before i got a carb load before i carb load you know what i'm saying chrissy there is a buffet at both of these types of things they generally have a late night buffet for both and there's a daytime there's a breakfast buffet so if you're wanting buffets you're definitely going to be able to get it i feel like at temptation they do a little bit more themed with their buffets and so you do have your normal buffet themed buffet what does that even mean well no but first he just said they're very different they're very different they both have buffets yes they're very different but generally the same every single day that has your standard items but they also kind of have a theme whereas the cruises generally just have a large style yeah new orleans mexican night, Japanese cuisine, Chinese cuisine, edible underwear cuisine.

Yes. With a large array of food every single day.
Cruises are a bit more accommodating for dietary restrictions. However, there are options at both places if you do have restrictions.
Okay. Okay, great.
I'm lactose intolerant. So the food is included at both of these because they are all inclusive but one thing to note is that on the cruises you only have one main dining room generally that is included in the price of your ticket whereas at the resort there is a lot of different restaurants that you can go to on the cruise you go to your sit-down dining room that's included it It's more elevated type food.
Do you dress up in like a tux? Yeah, you dress up in a tux with chapless pants and you walk in, you sit down. A little bow tie, shirtless with a bow tie.
And by the way, he's saying the cruise has more elevated type food and then they are showing a hockey puck of a steak with one potato, waxy green beans, and old carrots. Elevated in what way? Like you're up on like actually geographically? Most amazing food in the world, but we always really enjoy it.
It's really a fun time to go there, but the resorts, they have a lot of really fun options. So they have, you know, an Asian type restaurant.
They have a steak restaurant that has a show. They have multiple different restaurants that are all all included so if you're there for three or four days every single night you could go to a different restaurant which we always feel like is really fun every single night on the cruise it changes it has a lot of different restaurants too but they do just cost an additional extra charge and also at the resort since you're able to This is like the worst review for the sexiest thing.
You're reviewing a swingers club and an adult sex cruise and an adult sex resort. If you're doing that, you have got to make it interesting.
So far, we've heard about what a cruise is. We already knew what a cruise was.

Welcome to Earth. People know what cruises are.
All right, I'm done with this. You guys have

bored me. I'm sorry.
You've bored the commercial break. That's hard to do because we need content.

It's okay. I'm sure you mean well.
I got it.

Yeah, we didn't really learn much.

No, you should have planned this out a little bit better. You should have talked about the

sex room. Loading optional, maybe.
Yeah. You should have talked about the sex room.

You should have talked about your own experiences.

Like, hey, we went into the playroom.

We met this guy.

He tickled my taint.

I felt really good about it.

Then there was a couple other people whacking each other off in the corner.

It was interesting, and that's the kind of thing you can expect.

Or we played some sex games on the promenade on Tuesday night.

That was a lot of fun.

I got tied up in the shabari ropes one night. Yes.
Someone fell overboard playing with themselves on a balcony. I mean, something.
Like, you got to give us the juicy details. Don't tell us about what cruise dining is like.
We already know what cruise dining is like. Even people who haven't been on a cruise.
I know. Like me.
Yes. Yes.
The love boat was on for 17 seasons. We know everybody goes and eats at the same dining room every night.
Okay. We got it.
10-4. We've all been to an all-inclusive resort or heard about them.
Yes. We know there are restaurants you eat at.
Plenty of them. That's how it works.
Okay. Well, you're going to have to sharpen up your travel reviews here, guys, if you're going to grow that channel.
But God bless you. Certainly no knock on the lifestyle, just a knock on general content.
Says everybody who ever watched the commercial break. Hey, guys, you got to make it more interesting.
Okay. Well, we're throwing good stones in a glass house, but what you do? All right.
A couple of things I want to remind you of. America's next best mediocre podcaster, top comedy podcaster is on.
So if you think you got what it takes to be the next top comedy, mediocre comedy podcaster, hit us up. 212-433-3TCB.
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Tell us why. A little bit.
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And then, yeah, we're going to work on getting that together. If your goals are high.
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Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

I think so.

I'll tell you that I love you.

And I love you.

Best to you.

Best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye.

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16 years from today, Greg Gerstner will finally land the perfect cannonball. Epic Splash.
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I get ass.