TCB Informercial: Joel Kim Booster

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So obviously, as Christian as my parents are, they did not take it super well when I came out of the closet, mostly because I did not come out of the closet.

They read my journal when I was 17.

Yes, Gasp is right.

It was rough because at that point in my life, my journal was less of like an introspective thoughts and dreams journal and more of just a BuzzFeed list of guys' dicks I was sucking.

You know, like

no content to sift through, just straight to the headlines.

It was clickbait for my parents.

They couldn't resist.

They had to see it.

It was tough for them.

But what's even funnier, so I mentioned I was adopted.

I have two adopted siblings.

They're biological to my mom and dad.

And I have an older brother, and a couple of years ago, he also came out of the closet, which is like,

you know, like,

I couldn't have planned a better prank, you know, like that.

Oh, you pumped them good, Jesus.

Oh, it's so funny.

It's so delicious to me because my parents, they really, like, they truly rolled the dice there, you know, like they made one themselves, they got one off the the rack, and they both turned out gay, you know?

Like,

I don't know what the scientific argument is there, but that feels like nurture, bitch.

Okay.

That feels like your fault.

On this episode of the Commercial Break.

My mom and I...

Are on, you know, about as good as terms as we could be considering our differences.

I was emancipated when I was 17 when they found out I was gay, didn't talk to them again until I was in college, reconciled a little bit in college, and then, you know, things have gotten steadily better.

I mean, right before my dad passed, we were in the best place that we'd ever been in as father and son, I think, for my entire life.

So I'm really grateful that I had that time with him before he passed.

And, you know, my mom and I are, you know, good.

I think, you know, she's not coming to my wedding.

She's not supportive of that part of my life.

But the fact is, is that it doesn't bum me out.

It doesn't make me sad.

I barely think about it because quite honestly, I stopped expecting certain things from my family a long time ago, ago, over a decade ago.

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Oh, yeah, Cats and Kittens, welcome back to the Commercial Break.

I'm Brian Green.

This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley.

Best to you, Chris.

Hey, Brian.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Thanks for joining us on a TCB Infomercial Tuesday.

We're back on our home turf here in the studio, but we are happy, proud, excited to welcome comedian, writer, producer, actor, Joel Kim, host, reality TV show host, Joel Kim Booster, is here and he's going to be joining us in just a few minutes.

May I, just for a moment, list some of the laundry items that go on his resume.

Oh, I know is it's so many.

Are you ready?

Fun employed.

He's been on Conan.

He did a Comedy Central stand-up presents.

He's on Bojack Horseman, Sunnyside, Shrill, the critically acclaimed Shrill.

I think that was on Hulu.

Big Mouth, one of our favorites.

Search Party, iCarly, Bob's Burgers, Curb Your Enthusiasm.

American Dad.

Joel Kim Booster, Psychosexual.

He did a stand-up special.

The standout and LGBTQ celebration.

Celebrity Jeopardy, the American Baking Show, Loot, Glamorous, Is It Cake, RuPaul's Drag Race, Industry, and he is or was just wrapped up.

Love Hotel with some of the favorites of the housewives.

Of the housewives.

I know Chrissy is into that very much so.

So we'll have to ask him.

We'll have to dig in to all the things.

Joel Kim Booster

is having a moment, Chris.

Fire Island.

That was what I was about to say.

I think he probably would be most known for writing, producing, and starring in Love Island, which has me.

Fire Island.

Fire Island.

When I say Love Island.

Because I'm thinking of Love Hotel.

There is a Love Island.

There is a Love Island.

Yeah.

But he's not a part of that.

I'm sure he likes watching it, though.

Love Island this year, I hear, is spicy.

Oh, yeah.

I was reading some reviews, and then I see Astrid is watching some of the.

Is it Bachelorette that's back?

Is it Bachelor?

Bachelorette is back.

She's watching that.

So I'm sure I'll get sucked in at some point.

She will.

Standing in the bedroom waiting to take a shower for an hour, like with my towel on.

Like, huh,

let me just see what's going on with the kids.

Let me just check in.

And then an hour later, I'm like, oh, my God, did she really say that to him?

Are they?

No, that's why Brian started.

I know.

It's crazy.

Anyway, Joel wrote, produced, and acted in Fire Island, which

has been known to be an LGBTQ classic that many people have critically acclaimed.

It's a great movie.

Yeah.

And so I am excited to.

Have you seen it?

Have you seen Fire Island?

Yeah, I have not, but I will check it out.

It's now put on the list of the 165,000 things that Brian will never get to because he has children.

However, I do find the time to keep rerunning the same old British comedies night after night after night.

It's your sleepy time.

It is my sleepy time tea for me to watch that.

Maybe I should watch like Love Hotel.

For us, it's the nature shows.

My daughter loves the nature shows.

She likes to watch those.

Yeah, we just pop one of those on and night, night.

It used to be how the universe was made, what used to be my nighttime sleepy time tea.

But then I started getting real cerebral about it.

And some of it was freaking me out a little bit.

Yeah.

Like, I, I, like, as if I was tripping.

Yeah, I didn't want to think too much.

I was like, is that possible?

I mean, you know, is it possible that you can go into a black hole and be stretched like spaghetti?

I don't want to know though.

Is it possible that that black hole in the middle of the Milky Way is sucking us all into the middle?

But let us not dwell on bad things, Chrissy.

Let us dwell on the good stuff.

Which is Joel Kim Booster.

All of the links are in the show notes.

You know how we roll around here like every other podcast on Earth.

We put the links in the the show notes and super excited to have a conversation with,

dare I say, an up-and-coming icon, Chrissy?

That's right.

I think we could go there.

There you go.

All right.

We'll take a break.

And when we get back, again through the magic of telepodcasting, Joel Kim Booster, right here with Chrissy and I.

What do you think?

I think we should do it.

All right.

We'll see you on the flip side.

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB.

It's pretty simple.

Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command.

Do you want to help Astrid too?

You know you do.

Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

You can be on the show too.

Mm-hmm.

Just call and say something.

Anything.

Or text us and we'll text you right back.

Promise.

Then head over to tcvpodcast.com and get your free sticker.

It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide.

You get the point.

Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com slash thecommercial break.

Best to you and Astrid.

Especially Astrid.

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Joel is here with us now.

Joel, thank you very much.

Where in the world do we find you?

Where does this podcast find you today?

I am in my home in Los Angeles.

I will not say where because I don't know your listenership.

That's right.

I don't know.

Well, we don't know our listenership either.

I wouldn't do it.

Fuck no.

Fuck no.

We got some weirdos.

I mean, every podcast, I think, has some weirdos.

Bad Dates, by the way, which is your podcast, is great.

Chrissy and I were just talking about it.

We have both, previous to even knowing you were coming on, have listened to the show.

Tell the listeners what Bad Dates is about because the name isn't descriptive.

Right.

Yeah.

I mean,

no, it's kind of right there in the title, right?

Like, I bring on a panel of three comedians, comedians,

funny people, friends, and we all just sort of go around the horn and share tales from the trenches, you know, bad dates.

I mean, since I took over, we've really expanded the definition of a date to include things like hookups.

We have people come on talking about their 10-year-long marriages that have failed.

You know, it's a wide net that we cast over at bad dates, but they're all funny

and instructive.

I hope.

I hope that people are learning from

the mistakes of my panel.

Okay, so here's a good question.

We'll wrap you into this conversation we've been having today.

There was a reel that came up.

Alex Cooper had a reel on Call Her Daddy, and someone,

what I would call a child, was complaining about his girlfriend's body count.

And I thought to myself, that's like one of the most immature things you could ever be concerned about.

I mean, like a conversation about sexual health and safety and all that.

Sure.

But that's a mature conversation.

This is the furthest thing from it.

It's like, you know, jealousy and being upset.

Insecurity.

Insecurity.

Yeah.

Like, oh, you're going to unfuck those people?

Like, what are you going to do?

Yeah, she chose you, bro.

Like, that's the thing.

Like, she landed on you, you know?

And that it should be all that matters, honestly.

I really don't think body count is anybody else's business but yours at the end of the day.

Yeah, that was kind of our, our,

that was kind of our summation was, hey, listen, if you don't want to know the answer to the question, if it's going to really upset you that much, just pretend like she, it's been, the body count is one and that's you and you're the love God she's always been looking for.

Otherwise, don't pop.

Why are you even getting involved in the conversation?

Yeah, I guess I really don't understand what people are seeking from asking that question.

You know, like, and I think it is different for everybody who asks the question, but I guess for me, like a lot of people I know who are concerned about their partner's body count, it is a,

to them, they see it as an indication of a value system and they want to make sure that their value systems align.

And

the, the, but for me, that doesn't make any sense because I don't connect

any sort of like sexual freedom to a sense of morality.

Now, how they comport themselves, were they, you know, were they ethical about it?

Were they truthful about it?

Were they, you know, tricking people into having sex with them?

And that's why the body count was so high.

That's a different thing.

That's context.

But like, I think just body count in general is not,

is to me anyways, not an indicator of how virtuous someone is at the end of the day.

I could not agree with you more.

I think that's really well said.

And something that we discussed also is like, you know, the morality of, I think that's where people are coming from.

They're coming from this place of, do you,

do you have some kind of like that's a purity test or something, right?

Have you, especially when like a competition, I don't know.

And let's, and listen, I don't mean to be like 2008 Tumblr right now, but let's be real.

Like

people only care about body count when it comes to women.

And it's deeply rooted in this idea that women's sexuality should be protected and preserved.

And it's this, you know, prize for the man that they eventually end up with.

And I think it's like

you can talk around it all you want, but like at the end of the day, like that impulse, the impulse to care about someone's body count, especially your female partner's body count, comes from that place.

And it's

words in my mouth.

It's a man-child, right?

It's someone who it's just based in some kind of misogynistic, you know,

fantasy that you're the only one that you know is ever going to touch that.

So, um, what is the what is the worst thing you have heard on bad dates?

Like, what's the worst date on bad dates?

Oh, man.

I mean, there's so many to choose from, they're all awful in their own ways.

I think, like, there is a story out where a guy accidentally shat his pants and then tried to frame the woman that he was sleeping with.

Oh, my God.

Um, yeah, it was um, not the perfect crime.

I'll tell you that.

But yeah, we got all sorts of, it runs the gamut from things that seem like fairly benign, like, oh, I got the ick because, you know, he wouldn't stop talking about his ex-girlfriend and then got picked up by the ex-girlfriend at the end of the day, you know, like things like that.

Like, pretty, you know, like bad, bad for sure.

But then there's also like plenty of stories of people who, you know, walk into what looks like the substance bathroom and, you know, fear for their lives and their organs.

The scary ones.

Yeah, we get a nice variety for sure, though.

Oh, my God.

That's, I like that.

We get a lot of emails from people who, like, I don't know, for some reason, they think we're going to be some kind of love coach to them or something.

And we've gotten some wild stories.

But I always am curious about whether or not, because of the nature of our show, if people are using their imagination a little bit more than they are using like anything based in reality.

But we, then we have one guy who wrote us and and he said that he was engaged to someone and then the mom like took picture, nude pictures of him in a bed.

Yes, yes.

And so they were at an engagement party or a party before the wedding.

And the mom who disliked him, got, they were all wasted.

She ended up taking him up to a bedroom, lured him, disrobed him, took pictures of it to appear as if he was nude trying to pursue the mom.

And the whole thing blew up.

Like the whole wedding blew up.

But then I thought to myself, well, dude, you just, you dodged a bullet, bro, because you were nobody you want to marry into.

Yeah, no, the mom that hates you is never going to, you're never going to have to.

Next level.

Yeah.

Crazy.

Did you grow up, I read, in an extraordinarily conservative household?

Deeply conservative, Southern Baptist, evangelical,

you know, the whole nine yards.

Yeah, I think this is important to talk about during, during Pride Month, too.

So tell me,

I mean, do you have a relationship with your parents now?

I'm sorry.

I don't know if you're a son of a dad.

Yeah, no, I do.

I mean, my dad is dead, but my mom and I

are on, you know, about as good terms as we could be considering our differences.

I was emancipated when I was 17 when they found out I was gay, didn't talk to them again until I was in college, reconciled a little bit in college.

And then, you know, things have gotten steadily better.

I mean, right before my dad passed, we were in the best place that we'd ever been in as father and son, I think, for my entire life.

So I'm really grateful that I had that time with him before he passed.

And, you know, my mom and I are, you know, good.

I think, you know, she's not coming to my wedding.

She's not supportive of that part of my life.

But the fact is, is that it doesn't bum me out.

It doesn't make me sad.

barely think about it because quite honestly I stopped expecting certain things from my family a long time ago over a decade ago.

You know, half my life, I've lived half my life not living

for my parents' or family's approval or caring about my family's approval.

I haven't taken a dime from my family since I was 17.

And that has become the cornerstone of my personality because everything I have, my house, my car, my life, is because I worked my ass off to get it.

And I don't begrudge anybody who has a great relationship with their family and does receive support in some way, like, you know,

but I think that I'm really grateful that I am not a 35-year-old who's still living desperately trying to get the approval of their parents because I know a lot of people like that and it's torture.

I

didn't always see two totally different situations.

I'm not stepping in your shoes, but I didn't always see eye to eye with my father, had a rough relationship with my mother.

My childhood was, I guess it's all about perspective.

But I read this from, I think it was Ram Das said this.

I read a book that he had written.

And one of the, in my early 20s, one of the things that he had said is that one of the most important steps that a human being can take is to realize that your mom and dad are just words.

They are human beings with their own thoughts and perspectives.

And they don't have to align with yours.

And you don't have to have their acceptance.

And they don't need to be a part of your life if that doesn't align with who you are, who you want to go.

It was like reading the Emancipation Proclamation.

It was, it disconnected the word mom and dad from my, from all these expectations that I had of them that may or may not have ever come true.

And that really sweetened the relationship with them because I was like, they're just human and they can be assholes and they can have opinions that don't share mine.

They don't have to be these heroes in my story that are never going to show up.

And so I relate with what you're saying: is that you can still have a good relationship with them, but they may not be everything all the time.

Yeah.

And you find the family that can fill in the gaps, right?

Mm-hmm.

And that's what I've done: I've surrounded myself with plenty of people who provide the kind of emotional and familial support that a lot of people get from their families.

And I just, you know, had to do a little digging and find it and find it myself.

Yeah.

So you say you're unemployed, but you're really, you're just in between jobs, I would imagine, because

Fire Island, Loot, Love Hotel.

Okay, let's start with Love Hotel.

And Big Mouth.

Oh, and Big Mouth.

Oh, thank you so much.

What a wild show.

That is funny.

The first time I watched it, I was like, this is incredible.

So yeah, Love Hotel.

Tell us.

I'm a big housewife fan.

Brian is not, but I, of course.

I also live in a mixed household.

So

it's difficult.

It's difficult.

It is difficult.

Love Hotel, I mean, the premise is pretty simple, and it's a pretty, it's a million dollar idea.

You take four housewives, you put them in a resort with waves and waves of eligible bachelors, and you sort of just let them loose and see

if any love connections are made.

And I was the host of the show.

I was the Love Concierge, which is the title that they gave me, which

is a very meaningless.

Thank you.

And yeah,

it was really crazy because I'm also a huge Bravo fan.

And so it definitely felt a little bit like I was stepping into the Star Wars immersive hotel, you know, like I was

LARPing as a as a Bravo in Bravo land.

And yeah, it was definitely a learning experience.

I'd never really done, like I never hosted before or anything like that.

So I was learning on the job for most of it.

And, you know, it's the saying of like you're used to seeing these women through the safety of your tele, through, you know, your television, and then you're up close and personal.

And

it is a much different beast to sort of be wrangling them yourself.

So funny.

Who were some of the couples that you were most surprised by?

Like, I think I have to say maybe Lou Ann and James.

I didn't expect to make you.

At first glance, I think we were all a little surprised by it.

But, you know, the more I got to know Lou and the more certainly I got to know James, I think it makes quite a bit of sense because I think, you know, he worships her.

And I think that is a huge plus for Luann.

I think like,

you know, she's been burned in the past.

She's been burned in the past by guys who don't worship her.

And so I think, you know, he's a goof.

He's definitely takes a while to settle into him.

But I completely understand sort of why she, why they work because they are both goofs.

They're both like they love to, you know, joke around and he makes her laugh, which I think is like the big thing.

I think like

most people don't realize how important that aspect of things is until you have it.

And so, yeah, you know, it's listen.

And listen, the woman is a professional reality star.

They're still seeing each other, but she has admirers in.

lots of different places around the world.

And the thing is, is I think it works, it still works for them, you know?

And so I think her life is so unorthodox that, like, of course, she would have an unorthodox relationship.

So, I am happy that

she left the Left Hotel with someone that she's still in contact with, which is unfortunately not the case with all of them.

Right.

Do you, is it wild stepping into like the Bravo verse?

Do people, is it like a whole new set of human beings that recognize who you are?

And

yeah, I mean,

you know, I have been tangentially involved in the Bravoverse for a while because because I've appeared on Watch What Happens Live many times.

People know I'm a super fan.

You know,

so it wasn't like a huge leap, but it definitely,

yeah, the Bravo fans are scary.

Bravo fans are allowed, and Bravo fans

are not afraid to send you a death threat.

Oh, my.

I will tell you, I've had

my DMs,

it's interesting.

I've learned so many new slurs

that I did not know existed

for Asian people.

Things, you know, retro slurs that they're bringing back.

But, you know,

it's also been positive as well.

But it's just so easy because the crazies are the loudest ones.

But why are they angry with the host?

Well, there's, there, listen,

if you know, you know.

But I think also I don't think there's the, there's a division amongst people who think I was a good host and who think I was a bad host.

So I think that's a big part of it.

I think that, you know, and I'll admit, like I was learning how to do the job on the job.

Sure.

You know, and I think I definitely got better and settled in.

But there's a lot going on.

There's someone in my ear telling me what to say.

There's writers who have written

clever puns for me to deliver and,

you know, just a little bit of space for me to be me and inject inject myself into it.

And so I think I learned how to do the balance a little bit better by the end of the show because I was able to be a little bit more myself by the end.

But at the beginning, I was definitely in this mode of like, okay, they've given me what to say.

They're in my ear directing me how to say it.

And I'm just going to do that.

And then, you know, I think as they trusted me more and as I got to know them more, they were more willing to like, let me be me.

Yeah.

Well, I loved, I think you did a fantastic job and i loved your outfits thank you thank you that was stressful i had three days they gave me three days before i had to leave to to figure out my wardrobe and oh wow i wish i had a little bit more time i'll tell you that i was not a fan of everything i wore but we made it work yeah it looked great wait so hold on so you get a phone call and three days later they want you like filming

No, I get a phone call and it was, I had maybe a week or two, a week and a half lead.

Okay.

And then I sort of assumed that

they would have a wardrobe department there.

You would make that assumption providing me with clothes.

But, you know, it's the first season and I think it is,

you know, they were, they, they needed that that resort was not cheap.

They they they needed to spend the budget in other bigger ways.

To make the show look fucking beautiful, by the way.

I think it looks gorgeous.

But yeah, I really scrambled and pulled together everything I could find that would be decent and might work for the show.

There's some There are some misses, I will say, after watching it back, but I think considering what

the timeframe I had, the limited resources I had, I'm pretty happy with

how I

dressed on that show.

Oh, yeah.

I think it's like white t-shirt.

dark pants, Joel.

Just go the commercial breakway and just wear the same thing.

I forgot who said it.

David Burns said, keep on wearing the same thing.

People start to recognize you.

It is beautiful, though.

By the way, that resort is fucking gorgeous.

Yeah.

I mean, did you get this,

you're staying in the resort, right?

We were there for three and a half weeks, stayed there the entire time.

And I will say it is gorgeous.

I have nothing negative to say about it, except I think any resort, if you're there for three and a half weeks, it's going to...

It gets old.

It gets old.

It's going to drive you a little crazy by the end of it, for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah, I hear you.

Give anybody four walls and let them live inside it for a while.

And pretty soon those four walls are going to start to look plain Jane.

So tell us about loot.

I am a fan of.

Oh, yeah.

How'd you get involved in?

Yeah.

How did you get involved with loot?

You know, it's a really funny story.

And I love to tell it too because it's such a great instructive sort of

lesson for people who are struggling.

Because

what happened was, is I was on an NBC sitcom called Sunnyside back in 2019.

It has the distinction of being the lowest rated premiere in NBC history.

It was pulled off the air after three episodes, which they had not done

in about eight years.

You said three episodes?

Three.

Yeah, three episodes.

And this was well past the point when networks were pulling shows off the air early.

They just weren't doing that anymore.

But they made an exception for our show.

Oh, wow.

How sweet of them.

Yeah.

And, you know,

it was a moment in my life where I was like, wow, I just failed hard.

This is humiliating and my career's over.

I don't know like what I'm going to do.

And it was for a long time, for two years, like sort of this thing that hung over me where I was like, I failed so hard.

I don't know what I'm going to do and so depressed.

And then right as we were coming out of the pandemic,

I got...

um an email from my manager about loot and matt hubbard who co-created loot was a writer on sunny side and loved working with me so much on that show that he created the part of nicholas for with me in mind and so I still auditioned, but it was definitely one of those situations where all I had to do was not fuck it up.

And

they wanted me.

And so, you know, it's, I always tell people, you don't know how the story ends, you know, in the moment.

You have to really give yourself some distance from it to see what the arc of this story is.

And for me, it was a happy ending.

And, you know, it's just funny.

It goes to show that like the things that feel like failures and the end of the world in the moment can lead to, you know, bigger and better things down the road.

So true.

Yeah, I think that's that's a real i think that's very instructive that sometimes failures are actually validations and waiting right and you never know who's watching so i think the other important thing i was saying this to someone who wanted to start a podcast and i said listen consistency stick with it it's going to feel like failure over and over and over again and maybe in the end it is but at the very least you did it like you gave it a shot and you never know what's right around the corner and like don't make the call in the moment.

Yeah, never make the call in the moment.

I think this is a piece of advice that I actually got when I

was doing stand-up too, is that like so many people, something happens to them and they want to rush to the stage and tell the story about it.

But so often it's such a smarter idea to sort of give it some time because again, you don't know what the shape of the story is until you're out of it.

And I think so many people make the mistake of, you know, whether it is, you know, as a performance or just in a moment where they failed, they want to tell themselves that this is the end of the story and they had no, no idea, you know?

It's just, yeah, it's a, it's a mistake I think a lot of people make.

Are you still doing stand-up, actively working stand-up?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just, I, I finished a tour in February, um, still going up around town as much as possible, shopping it around.

Hopefully, um, we'll be, you know, shooting it soon as my next special.

And, you know, it is getting more difficult, I will will say.

I think the busier I get, it's this weird like joke about stand-up: is that you know, you get so successful as a stand-up comic, and then they start asking you to do everything but stand-up.

Yeah,

which you know, I've always been someone, I've always wanted to be a writer.

I, you know, studied playwriting, that was always the goal, was write for TV.

And acting was always sort of like a pipe dream that I had that I cared about, but never thought.

I thought like the best I could hope for is to be a writer in a writer's room.

And that was sort of the, that was the big impossible dream, you know, like I never thought I'd make a movie.

I never certainly thought I'd make a movie that I starred in or produced.

And,

you know, stand-up was just easy because there was no barrier to entry to get into it, you know, and it was an easy creative outlet that felt really fulfilling.

And then slowly it became the most interesting creative outlet that I was, that I had in my life.

So I.

just decided to, you know, pull the trigger and do it as, you know, my main thing.

And, and it's funny that like as soon as I got successful as a stand-up it everything circled back around and suddenly people wanted me to act and people wanted me to write and and so again it's that thing of like you don't know how this the arc of the story until you're you're out of it yeah and we hear this from a lot of comics too i mean you know there's stand-up comics that are on the road constantly they're working on the next hour working on the next hour um but we've heard from other comics who kind of broken through just the the journeyman kind of comic thing is that they get so busy it becomes and then you have to create the next hour but when do you create the next hour when you're touring the same hour it's kind of this it's a vicious cycle it's you know akimedi's raiders eraser so to speak you've got to do it over and over again you but a good problem to have in a yeah i mean listen are you gonna complain about being busy yeah

uh fire island

love fire island oh my god i think it came out in 2022 right yes yes i'm still riding on the fumes of a movie that came out in 2022 but hopefully I think I will be for a long time, and I'm okay with that.

And it's kind of a pride and prejudice.

Yes,

it's a loose pride and prejudice adaptation, modern day retelling of pride and prejudice.

In the same vein that, like, what Amy Hackerling did with Clueless was a huge inspiration for what I did with Fire Island.

Well, it was such a fun thing.

And Margaret Cho, she's been on our show there.

I loved her

in it as well.

She's so iconic.

I mean, I grew up, I mean, she birthed me in a lot of ways.

And so to get her in the movie was just such a surreal moment for me.

She named you in our interview as one of the comics that she admired to watch as one of the comics.

I mean, and when I hear things like that, it's just, it's hard to, it's hard to even.

absorb or like uh it just doesn't seem real because you know when you watch somebody when someone like that who has shaped you and your conception of your own identity and what's possible for yourself says something like that it just it's hard for me to absorb sometimes.

I can imagine.

Yeah, you grow up with your heroes, and then your heroes are naming you as people that they're watching

as the next generation to be the next heroes.

That it was.

And in Margaret Cho, she breaks through as not just, you know,

sexually

liberated or whatever classification you want to give her.

She breaks through as like a legendary comic.

She's just a human comic that defined stand-up comedy in a lot of ways for so many people.

She is absolutely like, you know, I was taken aback when we had Margaret Cohen

on the show because she

was still so I just did a show with her last week and she's still so fucking funny, you know?

Like, it's, and that is not always the case with people who've been doing it for a minute.

And so it's, it's always fun to watch her.

And she's still, you know, just as good as she was back when I was, you know, listening to her in high school.

Do you get the sense that this movie is like iconic?

Like it's becoming like,

I mean, I know you don't want to like, you know,

love yourself, but.

Yeah, I don't know that I would ever feel comfortable saying that myself.

I think that I hope,

you know, it is something that people will return to throughout the years.

But I also feel like there's a part of me that's like, God, I hope that by the time, you know, the reason movies like, but I'm a cheerleader are still so iconic is because we haven't gotten one like it since not really you know certainly not a lot of them and so it still is so distinct and important

and and iconic and my hope is is that we won't be looking back in 20 years and saying that fire island is still the only one that did what fire island did

i hope that you know uh i hope people i i certainly don't hope that people forget about it but uh i hope that that there will be so many movies like it or similar to it that it doesn't need to be this singular entity

that people return to.

Yeah, no, that's interesting.

Let me ask you something.

For those of the listeners that don't know Fire Island, why is Fire Island Fire Island?

Why is everyone

so enamored with Fire Island, the actual Fire Island?

The actual Fire Island.

Oh, so Fire Island, it is a

tiny little strip of land off

Long Island.

And Fire Island, it's funny, it's known as like a gay destination, vacation destination.

But it's actually, if you grew up in Long Island, Fire Island is quite large.

And only two sections of it, Cherry Grove and the Pines, are

historically gay enclaves.

And it's been around since the early 20th century.

It's always been a safe haven for queer people.

It's very difficult to get to.

And that's a big part of why it became a safe haven for queer people.

And it really was this sort of magical space where, you know, there are no straight people.

You can be, you know, you can feel free to be as gay or queer or whatever

and surround yourself with gay and queer people.

And it's great because, you know, when I first started going when I was in my early 20s, you step off that boat and onto the island and you spend like a couple hours there and you realize like, oh my God, there's no straight people here.

And a weight is kind of lifted from you for a minute because, you know, especially as a visibly gay guy, you know, like there's no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

People clock me as gay

before I even open my mouth.

And there's a lot of.

pressure when you are in a public spaces in places like New York or LA and you're sort of like aware that like, oh God, like I have to make sure that I comport myself in a way that maybe isn't flamboyant.

And, you know,

I don't want the straight people to see me do X, Y, Z and then make assumptions based on all gay people because they had a bad interaction with me.

And like,

and you go to Fire Island and that all dissipates.

You know, there's a

sort of different set of insecurities and anxieties that,

you know, go hand in hand with that island.

But there is something really powerful about being in a space with all queer people and being free of the pressure of like knowing that that, you know, everything you do is going to be pathologized to the rest of the queer community by some straight person.

That is very interesting, Joel.

And as a straight man myself, that is a very interesting piece of

like you just opened yourself up transparently a little bit into the psychology of what I'm sure the kind of like this invisible stress that this invisible world that you're kind of dancing between.

I used to have an older gay man was my roommate for a year, year and a half.

And he used to say to me, It doesn't matter that people around me know that I'm gay.

I still don't feel like I'm ever, that pressure to be a little bit straight is ever really off me.

And I don't know if I ever understood what he really meant until you kind of said it.

It was like, you know, I always, I'm always dancing this line.

I always have to think these thoughts.

I always have to be sure I'm guarded.

And I think any sort of minority or marginalized person

feels that to some extent, the pressure to be, you know, the best version and not misbehave and not ruin it for the rest of your group.

I mean, I'm sure you will feel it as a woman, you know, like there's this idea of like, I have to be perfect.

I have to do this.

I have to be, you know, 50,000 things at once.

Otherwise, they're going to say women aren't funny or like, you know, or they're going to say, it's just like you worry.

And it sucks because then sometimes like, I do just want to be a gay guy.

And I don't want to, and it's like, yeah, I am, I am a stereotype at times.

And I enjoy my life and I am good at it.

And I just think it's like, it's a, it's, you can get really tangled up in it really quickly.

And it's why my, you know, those brief moments when I get to go to Fire Island are so nice because you're able to let go of a lot of that for a week and then, you know, slowly get reintroduced to it as you come back to the mainland.

Yeah.

Did you

you said you started going in your early 20s.

Did you identify, did you identify that you were gay when you were when you were young?

I think I said I remember when I was four years old, I was like having a little sleepover with my brother and my sister in my sister's bedroom, little sleeping bags on the floor, staring up at her, glowing the dark lights, starlights on the ceiling, and telling them that I liked looking at naked boys more than naked girls.

And they thought that was a laugh riot.

But I was being serious and I still remember this to this day.

And I knew like really young

that that was the case.

And I did, and then I slowly sort of learned that it was wrong by the time I was 13.

And but I was pretty like,

yeah, like confident in what I liked and

who I was to some extent at a very young age.

And then, you know.

You learned to suppress.

Yeah.

And so when did you come out?

I came out officially at 16.

I'm sorry, you said you came out at 16 years old?

At 16.

Yeah,

that's pretty young.

Yeah, and this was pre-glee, by the way.

So

it was especially brave what I did.

Okay.

I didn't have Ryan Murphy paving the way for me.

These Jen Zers.

Yeah.

Well,

I think that's super.

brave of you as someone who will never have to be in that position.

I can't even imagine.

And

I have children of my own.

And this conversation goes around with my wife and I a lot.

You know, you know, you look at your children and you play the law of averages and you see behaviors and you see things and you go, oh, and you say to yourself, you know, I only can hope and I can only pray that we never say or do anything that would

make them feel any kind of anxiety about being as honest and as real and as them as they want to be.

And, you know, as a parent, you can only hope to be supportive.

I realize that I am not,

that that I am not, like that thought does not carry throughout every single parent in the universe.

I wish it did.

But it's pretty brave to even be 16 years old and come out like that.

Yeah, I mean, it definitely to

it is, I think, even today to be 16 and come out.

You know, I made the, the, you know, post-skly even, it's a scary thing to do.

But, and it's all dependent on your context too.

But I think like a big thing for me was that like I've been getting called a faggot since I was like eight or nine years old.

You know, like I am

not somebody who can hide who I am.

And I think like everyone has always been, you know, telling me, was telling me that I was gay my entire life, calling me gay my entire life.

And so you hit 16 at a certain point and you, in the the calculus in my mind was sort of like,

well, either way, even if I pretend to be straight, people are still going to clock me as gay and bully me for being gay.

So you know what?

I might as well just be fucking gay.

Fucking dude.

Just imagine.

Yeah.

It was just like, either way, I'm going to receive this treatment from my peers.

And honestly, after I came out, it was like easier almost.

I think like there was just this like, you know, like, because when, when kids, I think teenagers especially target someone who's closeted, who's like very clearly, you know, reads as gay, can't hide it, is not doing a great job of hiding it, whatever, what have you.

When they finally own it and come out, it like sort of deflates a lot of the joy that bullies get from, you know,

trying to tell people that you're gay because it's like, oh, now he's kind of beaten us to the punch and it's not as fun anymore when we thought he was just an effeminate straight kid who we could torture.

Yeah, no, that's very interesting.

Yeah, it's like almost like there's the

pleasure in trying to poke at something that you're trying to hide.

But when I'm not trying to hide it, it just deflates the situation a little bit.

It's like, oh, okay, well, he's gay.

It's like, yeah, no shit, I'm gay.

Congratulations.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I figured it out at four.

It only took you however long to figure it out.

Will there be Love Hotel season two?

I don't know yet.

I think there's a lot of rumors.

There's a lot of speculation about, you know, what the format will be, things like that.

I think they were really happy with the show.

And I think that it was a hit for them.

And people seem to enjoy it.

And it'll be, and I think it's a great format for the network, too, because it's one of the best parts was to get to see these four housewives from disparate franchises sort of be in a space together.

And then, you know, there's Ultimate Girls Trip that they experimented with as well.

But this format, I think, is a little bit better because the problem with Ultimate Girls Trip was that when the it ended because they're just on vacation there was no storylines there was no arc really to it it's just sort of like and done going home yeah but with this there's like an intrinsic sort of structure that lends itself to a beginning middle end you know like there is a climax um on this show that i think is really satisfying for a lot of people so you get to see these ladies play uh who aren't normally on shows together and you also get like a satisfying buildup to an ending and i think that is really great and i think that's one of the joys of the first season of Love Hotel, at least, is that you see these four women who are normally in conflict

with, and if not each other, then other women on their franchises really just be friends and support each other.

And like, you know, it was Girl Code down

the entire time.

They shot together.

And that's a nice change, I think, of pace for people who watch these shows.

Yeah, that's interesting.

Yeah, that's like a formula that Bravo doesn't.

I mean, maybe they do on other shows, but these women that you're used to seeing in conflict with each other, all of a sudden, the through line is not conflict with each other, but supporting each other to try and find some other outcome that's positive for everybody.

For women that are in their 40s, 50s,

50s, listening.

I say this all the time, and it's like, you know, it's maybe a little tongue-in-cheek, but it's actually kind of real.

Is that

I always tell people: if you want to see women 50 plus

on television live, you know, complicated, layered stories, then unfortunately, Housewives is one of your only options.

Yeah.

Because we do not see women in their 50s or beyond on television a lot.

Certainly not centered as the main focus of the show.

And so say what you will, you know, it think it's trash, it is, but it is also like,

I think like, a really fascinating look at these women who

are

for a lot of people invisible once they reach a certain age.

And so to give them back this agency and to give them and to center their stories, I think is, you know, you don't have to like it, but I think it's sort of silly to deny that

it's a little, important's not the word, but, well, yeah, I guess important is it?

Because, you know, it's a mega hit.

Women of that age deserve it.

It's a mega hit.

These shows are mega hits.

They are super successful.

They breed rabid fan bases.

People live inside of these stories.

You know, they die for the next episode.

And maybe not everybody likes it.

I'm a huge fan of Trash TV.

I love Trash TV.

Just not, you know, that channel is not my channel.

We only have so much bandwidth.

We only have so much bandwidth.

They don't want me.

They don't want me.

Here's a TLC.

Mine's TLC, which is trashier than any trash.

But at the end of the day, these are mega hits, and there's a reason why.

And I think that you might have hit on something is because so many people,

they see little bits of themselves in these lives that these other, that these ladies are living, and they say, Oh, well, you know, I can identify with that.

It's an exaggerated version, but good television is an exaggerated version of Marcelo.

It's the only sort of corner of Hollywood that takes women in their 50s seriously in a lot of ways.

You know, like I think so many actresses age into this age range and then are sort of discarded because their value is so tied up in how fuckable they are to a lot of these studios, you know, and then they're just sort of abandoned.

And I think,

you know it it serves a really um important purpose uh in the ecosystem of reality tv and tv in general i think

and without them we wouldn't have so much andy cohen and you know what i could take all that guy you can get i love that guy i do love that i mean it it's it permeates the culture i so many people who don't even watch housewives they know about yeah the table flip exactly you know

they know about who gonna check me boo they know about who said that they they know all the quotes They know all the moments.

So whether you like it or not, unfortunately, it is a cultural juggernaut,

whether you think that's merited or not.

Do you know, Joe, do you know

why I got turned off to the real house?

Real housewives of Atlanta.

Oh my gosh, we have to watch because that's where we're at.

We have to watch in Atlanta.

Then I got to know some of the real housewives of Atlanta, some of the early real housewives of Atlanta, the ladies.

And I just was like, this doesn't, like, it's not adding, what I'm seeing seeing on TV is not adding up what I understand about their real lives.

And I also understand I'm not dumb enough.

It's an exaggerated.

Yeah, it's an exaggerated version.

I'm not dumb enough.

But then it, like, then it just kind of turned me off.

I was like, yeah, whatever.

But for that's what TV is.

Like, it's

a dramatized version of reality, right?

I think it is a mistake to approach any housewives franchise as though it is a docuser.

Yes.

It is a lightly scripted reality

experiment.

And I think that it's so funny because a lot of people love to say things like, oh, they're not really friends.

They're not friends in real life.

This is so manufactured.

This is so fake.

And I'm like, yeah, I don't care.

Yeah.

They are co-workers.

They are co-workers.

They clock into the drama factory.

And like, yes, of course you're friends with people at work that you aren't normally friends with in real life.

Yes.

And that's a real dynamic in and of itself.

And it doesn't make it less,

it doesn't make it any more fake.

You know, it's just, it's like, yeah, when you work at Quiznos, you wouldn't necessarily fuck with Lisa outside of Quiznos, but you're, you know, you're mad at Danielle, so you're going to align yourself with Lisa at Quiznos.

You know, that is like, that is how people operate at work.

You know, you make alliances with people that you are not actually friends with to make it through.

And I think if you frame it that way, that's how I watch these shows: is that they are workplace dramedies

about people who are working as real.

And I think if you,

I think some people expect too much

out of the reality portion.

You know, and that's crazy because I was watching whatever, I don't know, whatever Instagram

account, and there were people that were following around some of the 90-day fiancé people, and they were watching as over and over and over again, the film crew kept filming.

the people coming down the escalator at the airport for the like, you know, oh my gosh, they're here from whatever far-flung country.

You know, oh, you're here.

Here's my sign sign and my flowers.

And I love you.

And it's been 10 months since I've seen you.

And the film crew just kept filming it over like 10 different times to get the reaction that they wanted or said that they could edit it in the way that they wanted to edit it.

But I know that.

And I don't care because if I watch 90 Day Fiancé, I'm not watching.

because I think it's absolutely real.

I'm watching because it's edited to be interesting to entertainment.

That's right.

Yeah.

So

before you go, talk a little bit about Big Mouth because I swear, this is like one of my husband and I's favorite shows did you work you're a writer i was you know i was a writer i wrote on three seasons of the show i wrote uh i uh between seasons three and six on the show and it was one of the best jobs um i've ever had nick roll is an amazing uh creative mind and boss and it was just so much fun it was the most fun i've ever had in a writer's room because we just basically came in every day and um uh relived our childhoods and mined them uh for you know storylines on the show and um it was just yeah, it's just such a positive environment.

And we all were there to have fun and really

get to process some of our childhood trauma at the same time.

Right.

And for our listeners, it's an animated show on Netflix that is basically

explores the experience of puberty

in a myriad of ways that are sometimes poignant, sometimes gross, sometimes funny.

But we tackle pretty much every aspect of adolescence and puberty from as many angles as we could fit into a season.

If you don't know Big Mouth, I don't want to know you.

Turn off my podcast.

Joel is the host of the Love Hotel, Fire Island, available to stream.

Where is it available to stream?

Hulu.

Hulu.

Hulu, Big Mouth on Netflix.

Love Hotel on Peacock.

Love Hotel on Peacock.

And Loot

coming back on Apple, right?

Yep.

That's right.

Joel.

All over the place.

It's a pleasure to have you.

I hope you will return to our little podcast here.

It's really nice to get to know you a little bit.

Yeah.

Thank you for having me.

I really appreciate it.

Looking forward to seeing what you're up to next.

And we'll listen to be listening to your podcast too.

Yes.

Oh, bad dates.

That's right.

Bad dates, the podcast, which is

great.

Links in the show notes.

Thanks so much, Joel.

We appreciate it.

Thanks, guys.

Why don't you text us and we can text back, and then you can text us in reply and so on.

It's a fun little game I've been playing and I think you'll be great at it.

212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

You could leave a message too.

If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show.

But be warned, the pay is not great.

You could go to the website and drop us an email also, tcbpodcast.com.

And while you're there, you can get a free sticker.

Who doesn't want a free sticker?

Just go to the contact us button and ask for one.

Follow us on Insta at thecommercial break and watch the episodes at youtube.com slash thecommerbreak.

Now I'm going to go back to that texting game.

You want to play?

Come on.

Bye.

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Okay, Mr.

Joel, Kim, booster.

What a pleasure.

Such a nice guy.

I really enjoyed our conversation.

At least I did not quote Rom Dawson this one, so there you go.

I came close.

I came close.

But I figure, you know, Joel's lived probably more life than I have, so I better shut my mouth and let him do the talking.

Yeah, let him do the talking.

Anyway, thank you to Joel for coming in.

We really enjoyed our conversation.

I will put him on the You Are Welcome Backlist.

What do you think about this?

I think so.

Oh, he's definitely in that category.

All right, stay tuned this week.

We have exciting information about the next TCB stunt that Chrissy and I are going to be doing.

That includes watching an entire movie.

and doing the commentary, breaking it all down live and on the podcast.

Stay tuned as TCB introduces yet another dumb idea to you, and we'll see if we pull it off.

We're going to be doing it here in this studio, so I think we can do it.

If we were outside the studio, then I would have questions about our actual ability or willingness to go do it.

Also, I wanted to say about a former guest and hopefully a returning guest, Reggie Watts and his girlfriend.

Kat.

They are putting together a live late night show

some really heavy-hitting celebrity comedians that are coming on.

Kat is helping produce it.

Reggie's going to be doing it.

It's July 23rd.

I'll be talking more about that later on this week.

And maybe, maybe, fingers crossed, we'll get Reggie in just for a few minutes

and/or Kat so that they can have a conversation with us about it.

And I'll tell you where you can stream it live.

I think there are limited tickets available.

I think that's in Los Angeles.

But hopefully this becomes a thing, like a thing that they do.

I agree.

But I can't wait to see this this because I think I told Reggie you would be the perfect late night host.

I think you did the first time we talked to you.

Yes, he stole my idea and then didn't invite me to be on.

But I wouldn't invite me to be on either.

It's okay.

We'll forgive him.

If I had a list of people, Brian would not be at the top of it either.

Okay, so all of Joel Kim Booster's shit is down here in the show notes.

Just open up your little podcast player, take a look.

All the links right there for you at the commercial break on Instagram, 212-433-383TCB.

Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas at tcbpodcast.com.

Audio, video, and your free sticker.

Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

I think so.

But I'll tell you that I love you.

And I love you.

I'll say best to you.

Best to you.

And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say.

We do say and we must say.

Goodbye.

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They will explore story elements, deep dive into character motivations, and offer an episode-by-episode behind-the-scenes breakdown of each terrifying chapter in this new series.

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Want to live better we've got a lot of work to do join chris hensworth in national geographic's new disney plus original series limitless live better now i'm diving headfirst into cutting-edge science to uncover three powerful secrets to living better right now the growth that occurs through any challenging experience is really what we see Chris Hensworth stars in Limitless, Live Better Now, now streaming on Disney Plus and Hulu.

It's showtime.