The Cucking Break

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WSHIT cares about the Crab Apple community, and that's why each year during the holiday season, we partner with Crab Appliance to spread joy and cheer.

For the 35th year in a row, the Jingle Jangle Dangle will be hosted by WSHIT and the local Dingle Dangle Choir.

The Dingle Dangles, an association of volunteer musicians, has been serving up holiday tunes for almost 100 years. This year, the Jingle Dingles welcome the brand new choir lead, LeVon Del Rainey.

Levon is a longtime CrabApple citizen and one-third of the locally popular 1980s boy band, Houndstooth Corduroy.

Levon and the other choir members are holding open auditions this Thursday and Friday in conference room A at the holiday inn off of Highway 76. Levon encourages volunteers to come prepared.

Each audition will be less than three minutes, and due to popular demand, spots are limited. We got an early sneak peek at some of the tunes that will be sung at this year's Jingle Jangle Dangle.

Here's LeVon in early rehearsals with Silent Night.

Oh, did you say East Atlanta? That's where you're you live in East Atlanta. Interesting.
I think one of our night nurses or nannies lives.

Oh,

is pride

your

I've been saying it for years. Each season, they get better and better.
And with Levon on board, I'm sure this will be the best jingle, jangle, dangle yet. We'll be back after this commercial break.

On this episode of the Commercial Break.

And Chris is the most remarkable transformation I've ever seen on an older woman, ever. And I say older, I mean past the age of 50 or so.
Yeah. And that's a good thing.
She's looking great, right?

In my infantile judgment, she's looking good. Chris, call me.

I need some money.

I know, manage us.

Seriously, can you manage us to some level of success? What the fuck is going on? I can do a sex tape. I'm good with that.
I'm good with it too. Jeff would be fine.
Chrissy will do a sex tape.

Jeff will do a sex tape. We'll all do a sex tape together.
The TCB pounded. TCB.

Tasty TV. The cuckold break.
That's what it's going to be called. The cuckold break.
Watch it happen.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

The party in the morning.

Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break.
I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley.
Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us.
I yesterday, no shit, two things almost, three things almost happened to me. Almost.
I was almost murdered. Oh.

I almost got a divorce. Oh.

And I almost lost my driving privileges. All of those things happened in.
Are they related? They're all related. Uh-huh.
I thought so.

They're all related.

Do tell. Oh, man.
Uh-oh.

Yeah. I need another ticket.
Well, I got out of this one,

but I was this close.

I know. I'm coming up a corner.
There's a high school in front. You know, it's a hill, the whole nine yards.
And

I don't see the flashing yellow lights i'm sure that they were on i didn't see them are colorblind i am colorblind that's true if it were ever flashing on that i wouldn't know anyway it just looks white to me uh i come coasting down the hill and i'm going uh i think it's 37 in a 25 or something like that okay and as soon as i turn the corner uh I see one guy pulled over further down the road with a motorcycle cop.

And then there's a motorcycle cop and a guy in a car sitting right there.

And he had his lights on before I even passed him and he zipped right behind me the motorcycle cop did were you alone I was alone and he comes up to me and I realize that my sometimes I put my wallet in the console of a car if I go to run or doing something I don't want to like who needs a wallet anymore you got iPhone you know I pay for everything with iPay and all this other stuff I don't have my wallet with me.

Oh no. I know.
So now

I know that I am in trouble. I'm getting at least two tickets in my mind.
And so the guy comes. You do have that thing now where you can have your license on your phone.

And I have it, but for some reason I couldn't find it. Like I got it.
I went through the whole process. I need to do that.
You have to get mailed a code in order to put it on your phone.

I did it all, but then I switched phones and it didn't transfer over is my assumption. So I'm furiously looking through the phone.
And the officer is like, are you on the car?

And I go, yeah, I'm with my wife on the car. And he goes, okay, well, let me see if I can find you that way.
Just stay here, see if you can find it. I said, okay.
He goes, he's back real quick.

And he says,

you're not on the tag. And I go, okay, but I think I'm on the car.
And he goes, I can only see the tag. And I was like, yeah, I'm not on the tag.
That's my wife.

And I go, but I know my driver's license number if you want it. And he goes, all right, if you got it, let me know.
And so I give him my driver's license number. I tell him my name and my birth date.

And he goes, all right, hold tight right here. And then he comes back lickety split.
He wasn't even gone like four minutes, three, four minutes, tops.

And he comes back and he goes, warning for the speed, warning for the driver's license. You need to carry your driver's license or have it on your phone.

And you need to slow down, especially in the school zones. I thought for sure that he was going to give me a ticket based on the fact that I've had two tickets in two months.
I know.

And seeing me speed a third time, I thought for sure he's just going to go, this is the guy we need to give a ticket to.

He needs to slow the fuck down. But he didn't.
He let me go. And here's why.

So he says,

let me wrap this story up. Because it's related to Astrid's tag? No.
Okay. He goes like this, before he says warning with the ticket warning.
He goes, you still live at da da da da da.

And I said, I do. And he goes, that's that house.
And he describes a little bit of my house. And I go, yes, sir.
And now I'm like, what the fuck?

Now I'm like, oh, God, are they waiting for backup? Now they're waiting for like, I don't know, ice or something.

You're that idiot on the commercial break.

Some guys in unmarked cars without badges are on their way to arrest you.

He goes, well, I actually came to your house a while back because there was a lady suffering from a mental health issue. That's right.
That's right.

And he goes, You probably, he goes, You were the one who called, right? And I said, Yeah. I must have talked to him.
I don't remember.

There are a bunch of cops out front, and I talked to some of them that night. This was two Christmases ago.
Yes. A lady pulls out.

I hear a horn just like on the horn. I mean, she's just on the horn.
Let me see if I can, if we can, um, if we can recreate the scene there. So it's late at night.

It's probably, not late at night, but it's probably eight o'clock. It's dark.
It's cold. It's around the holiday time.
And I hear,

just like some lady is

laying on the horn. And I pull back the shades and there's a minivan rolled up off this kind of busy street that I live on, rolled up on my grass.

Not her whole car, but like half her car on the grass. Like she's pulled over.
And she's just laying on the horn. And then I can see her.

in the window clearly upset like banging her hands throwing her hair around like this whole nine yards and i all of a sudden i got concerned that sure you know i wasn't going to go out there like no way oh yeah it's best so i called the cops i said hey i don't know if there's anything maybe her car broke down but i'm a little afraid to go out there and talk to her because she seems very upset no stay there cops came They're out there for probably 30 or 45 minutes talking to the woman.

And finally, they pulled her out. They smashed the window and they pulled her out of the car.
They smashed the window? Yeah, they did. They smashed the window.

I think they thought that she was going to hurt herself. But I watched the whole thing go down.
No one was like super rough with her. They smashed the window.
They opened, they unlocked the door.

They opened it. And then they guided her out of the car.
Right. And she, it didn't, they didn't throw her to the ground or anything.
I would have called that bullshit out.

I taped the whole thing, by the way. Well,

you know, turns out she was having a mental health episode. Her family was concerned about her.
There were issues at home. You know, they managed to reach out to somebody, whatever.
She was suicidal.

That's what happened, right? She didn't. She wanted to end it.
And I think that the car wasn't cooperating with her in whatever was going on. So he says, Yeah, I was there if you called.

And I said, I did. And he goes, You probably saved that lady's life.
And I was like, Oh, yeah, you know, I just called. She was upset.

And he goes, All right, well, you know, that was the right thing to do was to call. Warning on the ticket, warning on the

speed, warning on the driver's license. And he let me go.
So some good deeds do go unpunished.

You get, I don't know why, but had I gotten that third ticket in three months,

I would have been,

Astrid would have said, I want a divorce before sticking a knife directly in my throat

and then claiming to the insurance company she didn't know who I was.

Oh,

right. Because isn't there something bad that happens if you get a certain number in a certain time? It's like,

is it JS on jail?

But close. Something like that.
For the original one, the super speeder, he could have taken me to jail. You can take a super speeder to jail.
That's your choice. Like, it's the cop's choice.

It can be. And I think if you're going over 35 miles per hour, if I was going over like 100 miles per hour, it's like mandatory.
They take you to jail.

You got to bond out the whole, you got to pay the ticket and bond out and the whole nine yards.

But in this case, the officer was very cool, but he gave me a super speeder ticket when I didn't think he did, but he did give me a super speeder ticket because I got a nice notice in the mail.

That's that's the Disney one. That's a Disney one.
Okay. That was on the way to Disney.
With the whole fam in the car.

All the kids. Fly.
Fly 92 miles per hour down the highway at like 6.45 in the morning. But I wasn't the only one.

Oh, man, was I. And I'll tell you what, I wasn't the only one.
Oh, I know.

Everyone else was going just as fast because there were two idiots playing Pokemon Go with each other down the highway for about 60 miles.

They were just going 52 miles per hour right next to each other. I don't know if they were doing it on purpose.

I don't know if it was just two slow pokes, but they really were aggravating about six of us in a line trying to maneuver. maneuver, flash.

The guy could see the guy in front of me, two cars in front of me, was flashing his lights. I could see it against the thing.

Like everyone was trying to make it known to these two that we would like to get going a little bit faster. Exactly.
You guys do your thing. Yeah.
Then 30 miles below this, it was 70 miles per hour.

And these people were going, I'm not kidding, 62, 63 miles per hour. There's nothing more frustrating than that in the world.
And when it's going on forever, anyway.

So as soon as there was a break, as soon as one of them moved, all six of us just kind of, you know,

got around. I was not going the fastest.
I was, I don't, I was one of six that were going.

I just got caught.

As soon as that guy moved and we swerved around, I went up and over the hill and there he was. And I even told the officer,

I said, all of us tried to pass this guy. He goes, yeah, but I got you.
Right. That's correct.
I got you.

Anywho, anyhow, then another, then a couple of weeks after we got back, I was local. I was coming down another hill and I was going like 63 and a 40.

I was going super fast again,

and then again, so I'm glad that I didn't get that ticket because, and thank you to whichever police officer that was. But he didn't seem to want to bother with me for whatever reason.

Maybe he was looking, maybe he's looking for the high school kids that are coming out of there driving fast. Yeah, maybe he had another agenda, maybe got on another call.
I don't know.

It was a super quick interaction. The whole thing maybe lasted 10 minutes total, but I was shaking when I was waiting for him

because I'm like, astrid is gonna fucking kill me yeah and like astrid has a a troubled ar you know it's like kind of like gay dar but it's troubled are

because anytime i the two you know anytime i seem to be in any kind of trouble my phone rings and it's astrid

hey what you doing

i don't know she does have a troubled dar she does i didn't answer it though because i couldn't i just couldn't take it i was like i gotta i gotta think about what i'm gonna say to her how did this happen somebody pushed me

there was somebody else in the car I feel like you need to go. I don't know if this would help, but I feel like, you know, how they have those defensive driving courses.
No, no, well, not too.

Excuse me. No, the like the Porsche, you know, has a headquarters here and they've got those tracks that you can go down.
It's expensive. I've checked out.
It's very expensive.

And like they have the other track somewhere near here, too, where it's the Ferraris and the things and whatever. And you can really go and just get your speed on.

Patrick, we bought that for Patrick for his 30th birthday or 35th birthday something like that we bought that for him and he took a Ferrari around you know you got there's someone in the car with you but he zipped that around and I think he I think he got to like 135 miles per hour but he said it's like once you get above a hundred on those tracks yeah that are you know like this it's he said it's very it can be a little bit unnerving we tried to get him the Porsche one but it seemed like the Ferrari one was a better deal because you got to pick the car and you got to kind of open it up the Ferrari the Porsche one, there's just a set track and you're just like going over hills and through puddles and stuff like that.

Okay. But he enjoyed it immensely.
I did not, however, do it because it was so expensive. It is.
Yeah. It's like seven, eight feet long.
I thought of like getting it for my dad, but yeah.

For a fucking hour. It's like for rides.
Yeah. For an hour.
And you don't even drive the whole hour. It's like you drive for 20 minutes.

And

it's like the first couple of laps are somebody else is driving, like a professional driver's driving and goes really fast.

And then the next part is you drive, but you don't go so fast because you think you're a badass until you're going 115 miles per hour. Right.
And it's very fast.

So maybe you might be right. I might need to go get my tickles out somewhere else.

But I think this, I have decided, even though I decided this the first ticket and then the second ticket, I've decided on the third ticket that this is some kind of sign from the universe to slow down, Brian.

Something bad is going to happen if you don't slow down. So I've been taking these.

And a matter of fact, I'd like to say that I was a good Samaritan today because I came out of the Starbucks and a big six-lane state highway down the street from where I'm at.

You know, one of those thoroughfares that goes through a lot of cities with a divider and everything.

There was a lady in the middle of the road, blinkers on, causing a bunch of traffic because she was just stuck there. Oh, no.

And so rather than drive around her, frustrated like everybody else did, I pulled into the nearest parking lot. I got out of my car.
I walked over and I said, hey, what's going on?

And she said, I don't know, company car. It was like making this beeping noise.
I was like, ramp, ramp, ramp. And I said, okay, put it in neutral and I'll push you over.
Yeah, I know.

That was so nice. Well, yeah, I mean, you know,

you can't push a car by yourself, right? That would be almost impossible to do. You could probably lose the car down the hill.
Right. But luckily, there was a...
a close like parking lot that had a

slight down like decline so if i could push her to that opening then i then she could coast down into a spot.

But the other thing was, is that, and this is the part that I think I want to share, it's not necessarily about me being a good Samaritan, but everybody else was driving around this lady.

Then I stopped and I do this. And then you don't know how many people rode down their windows and were like, hey, man, can I help you? You know, you need some help, brother.
Like, everyone else saw

a good deed in action, and it caused a chain reaction. Now, luckily, it was kind of a smaller car.
I was able to push it on my own. But, you know, do a good deed.
It has more effect. There is hope.

There is hope. There is hope.
And Brian starts with Brian and his very heavy foot.

Get the let out. I will.
I'm going to get the let out. All right.
I want to ask you a question. This might have to continue into the next segment.

I've been wanting to ask you this since you were at Mempho. Have you seen?

Well, maybe I should ask this after. Okay, let's do this.
Let's take a break and then I'll show you a picture. Okay.
And then I'm going to ask Kevin, our video editor, to put up that picture.

And I want to ask if you have seen one very famous actor lately and what has happened to his face.

Do you know who I'm talking about? I think so. All right.
We'll be back. And I want to see the picture.
Yeah.

We're going to show you the good, the bad, and the ugly in plastic surgery. We'll be right back.

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.

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What's up, guys? It's Candace Dillard Bassett, former Real Housewife of Potomac. And I'm Michael Arseneau, author of the New York Times bestseller, I Can't Date Jesus.

And this is Undomesticated, the podcast where we aren't just saying the quiet parts out loud. We're putting it all on the kitchen table and inviting you to the function.

If you're ready for some bold takes and a little bit of chaos, welcome to Undomesticated. Follow and listen to Undomesticated, available wherever you get your podcasts.

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Okay, usually

I'm not here to make judgment calls about anybody's appearance. I am the last person who needs to make judgment calls about anybody's appearance.
But

I'm watching this trend, talking about this online, and it's really interesting. We all know Chris Jenner.
Yes. Okay, the very famous mother, the momminger of all of the Kardashians.

It is clear to me that whoever is doing their plastic surgery work is the best

in the world.

Well, I just read that she spent like $100,000 dollars on a facelift chrissy it was worth every dime i would she doesn't look changed at all yeah turkey neck gone no wrinkles yeah no lines no hair pulled back yeah whoever that is the best the best in the world she looks like a she looks 20 years younger and you can't tell in the highest resolution and the closest of close-ups Chris Jenner has literally made a deal with the devil.

She is drinking from the fountain of youth, as are all of the girls, because they all look remarkably different than they ever did at the beginning of their careers.

Now at the end of their, now, or in the middle of their careers, they look amazing. Yeah.
But they look different.

They're different, but it doesn't look bad. Right.
It's good. It's good plastic surgery.
Good jeans are good docs. Probably good docs, right?

Look at Kim Kardashian when she made that sex tape with Ray J. And then take a look at a picture recently.
That's totally different. Completely different.
Same with Kendall. Same with Kylie.

Same with all of them. All of them.
And Chris is the most remarkable transformation I've ever seen on an older woman ever. And I say older, I mean past the age of 50 years old.
Yes.

And that's a good thing. She's looking great, right? In

my infantile judgment, she's looking good.

Chris, call me.

I need some money.

I know. Manage us.

Seriously. Can you manage us to some level of success the fuck is going on? I can do a sex tape.
I'm good with that. I'm good with it too.
Jeff would be fine. Chrissy will do a sex tape.

Jeff will do a sex tape. We'll all do a sex tape together.

The TCB pounded. TCB.

Tasty T The Cuckold Break. That's what it's going to be called.
The cuckold break. Watch it happen.

If I could just have one-tenth of the wealth of the Kardashians. Yeah.
Okay. All right.
Now, Tom Cruise, another example.

Another example. Of someone who is clearly...
He seems to not be aging. At all.
I know.

Now, is that because she's drinking alien blood in that Scientology workshop of his? Could be. I'm reluctant to even talk about it because this episode won't go out.
Yes.

But something's going on there. And he looks also pretty amazing.
He does and doesn't look different than what we know him. Right.

He's one, like Chris Jenner looks different, but Tom does not look much different. No, he really doesn't.
And he's in his 70s? I don't think so, but I think he's like 67 or something like that.

How old is Tom Cruise?

I don't think he's close to 70s. Tom Cruise.

That's the other thing, too, when all these people get this stuff done.

He's 64. 64.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. So he's not there yet, but he's 64.
Yeah. I mean.
64. He looks great.
Great. And he's still jumping out of the planes and doing all his stuff.

Hanging on to camels as they get parachuted out of helicopters. And he's doing all kinds of crazy shit, that kid.
Unbelievable. And I have aches and pains when I wake up when I edit the show.

I'm like, oh.

I like sat the wrong way in the car the other day on the way home. And now I'm not legally.

All right. Now, okay,

all the riches in the world, they can afford it, right? But so can Bradley Cooper. Yeah.
And what the fuck happened to Bradley Cooper?

Well, I know know this was kind of going around the other day on one of my group techs. And

I mean, hold on, let me see. He murdered his face.

Oh, my gosh. What did happen? Crazy, I don't know.
It kind of resembles Robin Williams now. Robin, like us, yeah, it's like or Skeletor, one of the two.
I mean, he's like that, the nose and the chin.

He's got the, hmm.

It's me. Mork for mork.

He does, like,

something happened there. It's bad.
It's bad. He got the whole hair thing.
He got the whole face thing. Yeah.

But this,

now, let me remind you.

This is Bradley Cooper from a decade ago. I know.

He looks completely different. Now he does have a mustache and that.

Yeah, that's true. A mustachio.
And that other one. But I mean, he looks completely different.
I have another one to show you.

God damn, Bradley. You know, he's dating that.
Is he dating dating Gigi Hadid, I think, still?

I think so. I think so too.
And she's like 32 years old, Gigi Hadid is.

Let me see here.

Gigi Hadid, age.

Gigi Hadas.

Why won't you take Hadid? Okay, age.

30 years old. Okay, she's 30.
He's 53, 54 years old, I think. Yeah, he wants to keep up.
He wants to keep up. He's trying to keep up appearances.
He wants to still be sexy and good looking.

And who knows, maybe behind the scenes, she's poking him and prodding him. You know, hey, you're one of the leading actors.
You got to stay on top of it.

But he should have called Tom Cruise or Chris Jenner. And he should have gotten their face people.

I'm not arguing that he should or shouldn't have done it. Okay, cool, dude.
You want to look younger? That's cool with me. That's that's part of your gig is to look young and dumb and full of cum.

I get all of that stuff. So go do the surgeries, have the Botoxes, get the fillers tastefully, get the fillers, all that other stuff.

But someone really did a number on Bradley Cooper, and it doesn't look good. I know.
It looks bad. It's bad.

He would have been the Harrison Ford of our time.

Truly. If he just would have left it alone.

I guarantee Harrison's probably had a nip here and a tuck there at some point. Yeah.

I don't know for sure, but Harrison is almost 80 years old. So there's a little bit of a difference there because Harrison at 55 looked better than most men did in 25.

Harrison was a handsome mansome, for sure. And Bradley would have gone that direction had he just left it alone.

He just could have gotten a little grayer and a little older, a little more wrinkled, and he would have been okay. There's nothing wrong with that either.

I like some age. I think I'm just going to leave it alone.
Yeah. I think I'm just going to leave it alone.
I got to be honest.

Like, I've considered the Botox and all that other stuff, but now I'm getting really concerned that these girls are getting Botox at 18, 19 years old. The earlier, yeah.

And now they're starting to do research and finding out that that Botox is seeping in to brain cells, like that botulism is seeping in and killing brain cells.

They're doing all this research because now Botox has been around long enough. Botox came out in our lifetime, in our lifetime, as a plastic

surgery tool, as an enhancement. It came out in our lifetime and it made big waves.
It did everything that the Botox people wanted it to do. It sold billions of dollars worth.

Now there are many rip-offs and, you know, you can get generic and all this other stuff. But it's botulism is what it is.
I'm not saying it's right or wrong or different, but

now I'm concerned about like studies that I'm hearing about.

I've not read them myself, but there are doctors that I follow online and they're sharing these stories stories and kind of synopsizing that, no, synopsizing them. Synopsizing?

It's synopsizing a word. I don't know.
It should be if it's not. Synopsies? Synopsies.
Synopsies. The synopses of the synopsis.

Synopsies.

What's that?

I once had synopses of the penis.

It didn't go away.

The synopses that these doctors are giving giving is,

you know,

less than encouraging. Let's put it that way.
And the young kids getting it.

Yeah, it seems like it's younger and younger now. I don't, that's sad.
I think so. Yeah.
Well, what's sad is it's it is really

it's less of about

life choices or it's more about it's like an indictment of the world that we live in that these girls at 18 19 years old are so afraid to get one wrinkle wrinkle or one frown or one smile line that they are willing to go to these lengths very early.

And that, and that they don't have people around them telling them that, hey, you get started on this now. You're never going to stop.

And no one knows what happens 35 years down the road when you're going to be the tender age of 55, still plenty of life to live and full of fillers.

And well, yeah, a lot of those fillers, I remember seeing that the, you know, a lot of those housewives got all of that done. Yeah.
The ones from OC, I think, are the ones I'm thinking of.

And then they had to have it removed. There was a trend going around a while back to have all of that removed.
Sucked out because it was migrating to different places in their face.

Yeah, dude. Yeah.
I got problem, you know,

whatever attractiveness I have, I'm going to let it naturally fade away because

at the end of the day,

I don't want my face migrating. That's just one concern I don't want to have.
I don't want to wake up in the morning and find that, you know, my cheek filler went to my ear or something like that.

Like, that's just, it doesn't feel good to me. And,

you know,

the one thing that I also get a little bit, I don't know.

I get a little bit concerned about with the younger generation is they believe that they are looking older than the generation before them.

See, our generation, I think we've aged pretty well, if I'm being honest.

Unlike the love connection generation. Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Those people look 80 and they're like 20. 20.
I know.

My favorite thing to do, my favorite reels that people are putting out right now are the ones that these television characters, when you realize these television characters were younger than you.

Yeah. And it's like Mr.
Drummond. Remember Mr.
Drummond?

47 years old.

And it's like, holy shit.

Alice, the lady who did the Alice, or who's the lady from Give Me a Break? Nell? Nell Carter? Not Nell Carter, the white lady. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, okay.

She was like 39 years old when she did that show. And I would have thought she was 70 years old when she did that show.
All these actors and actresses were young.

In some cases, younger than we are.

And they were playing characters or seemingly playing characters that were much older than us. I think we've done a good job.
We've aged well. We're like the last great generation of aging well.

Right.

But these kids that are, and I say kids, I mean, you know, people that are the younger generation, the 18 to 25-year-olds, are really having a hard time with like their own mortality and the way that they look.

Well, what was the, what was it, mewing that was going on a while back? Oh, yeah, the mee.

The people that do

with the cheekbone.

So that it forms a cheekbone that's higher. Yeah.
And you get your lips out, your lips puffed out.

It's yeah. And don't be this.

I'm going to tell you what's not going to be trendy 10 years from now, five years from now, three years from now. What's not going to be trendy

or a year from now is the Trump girl look. And you know what I'm talking about.

The ladies in their 50s and 60s who all seem to have the plastic surgery that makes them look almost exactly the same, the same facial features. Right, yeah.

I don't need to, I'm not going to like pontificate about it. You can go and Google it.
It's a well-known trend phenomenon. They all seem to go to the same plastic surgeon and ask for the same thing.

Huge lips, high cheekbones, big forehead, you know, and

volumptuous everywhere, right? But it all ends up looking like the same thing. We're all like transmute, they're transmuting into the same human being and it's fucked up.
I know.

And it's not going to look good five years from now. I'm telling you that.
If it looks good now, which that's up to your personal judgment, Call.

If it looks good now, or if you think it looks good now, it's like picking the right

color of car, right? You don't want to get the trendiest color of the car. You see the loner that I'm driving? Yes, I did.
That gray car, that gray car. Beautiful, right?

There's that stylish, silky gray that's out right now that every fucking car in America seems to have. That silky gray, including you.
Including me.

Even in my real car is that color, right?

But I was telling Astrid, we have a loaner that we would never buy because we can't afford it. But I was telling Astrid, I'm like, I love this car.

on the inside and I love the way it looks on the outside. But five years from now, is that the color we're going to want? Five years from now, you have to buy the right color.
White, black, red.

There you go. Those are three.
That's why we're doing the lease. We decided to lease this pastime.

Flip it out. Yeah.
Flip it. Three years.

Smart thinking. Yes, but you can't flip out your fucking tits.
You know what I'm saying? So be careful. Just be careful that you don't do anything that's irreversible.

Permanent. Yes.
I'm not here. That's like the permanent makeup.
I mean, I... Unbelievable.
I get it. Like, if you just really want that, but that's forever.
That's it.

Your eyebrows will be like that forever you can't unfuck that shit yeah yeah when you get

an eyebrow the girth of my penis eyebrowed on your eye on your forehead you can't unfuck that that's not something you can undo yeah and i've seen those videos too of the people that like do the reveals from the what do they call that the what are they that when they tattoo that yeah i don't know what's okay i don't know the tattoo brow yeah i call it you know tattoo makeup you don't need a license.

You need like one day of class to do that kind of eyebrow. Oh, God.
And I know there's plenty of people who probably are a master at their craft. Yeah.

But there's lots of people, just like the dental implant thing. There's lots of people who should never be doing eyebrows.

And I've seen the videos of the reveals that have gone terribly wrong, like where people have, you know, three and a half inch thick eyebrows. Well, that's with anything, really.

I mean, God, the horror stories of the BBLs, the Brazilian butlers. Oh, man.

You can die. Of course you can.
Yeah. When you are putting foreign substances in your body.
Yep. And this is very trendy in Miami.

I'm not going to get into it, but I know that this is very trendy in Miami. To go to your mom's best friend who learned how to do this and she's been doing it.

And I think this, you know, this might be cultural, right? I know these people. It's safe.
They've been doing it for a long time. They did it to my friend and his friend.

And it's $10,000 to get the real Brazilian butt lift or get injections or whatever it is.

But it's $3,000 if you go to a friend of a friend and they're getting the same stuff and they're getting it from China or whatever. That's very, there are so many nightmare stories about people

who get sick, hospitalized, or die because

these people are not doctors going through the professional license channels to get the stuff that they need. These health spas.
I could do a whole episode of After the Break about these.

These health spas. They're not licensed.
And most of them in most states don't need a doctor involved in any of the procedures as long as they are staying within some guidelines.

It's it's the whole, you need a license to go fishing. You need a license to drive a car.
Brian should have his taken away from him, but that's besides the point.

You need a license to do a lot of stuff. Not have a gun.
Yeah, not have a gun. That's right.

Which is crazy. Which is crazy.

Right.

Anyways. But you don't.
Need in some states a license to put botulism right next to your eyeball. That's it.
You don't need it. And so then people, you know,

and then everyone thinks it's going to be hunky-dory because that only happens, that doesn't happen to me until it happens to them. Right.
And so I'm just sharing, take a look at Bradley Cooper.

Let this be a warning. You know, another one I was going to bring up, and I can't find the pictures, but okay, so I was, there's a show on Hulu about Lilith Fair.
Remember Lilith?

Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.
Looking back on that, that was so cool that they did that. It really was.
And this documentary is great. It's got Sarah McLaughlin, who started it.
Okay.

She's the main person in it. Of course, they've got Cheryl Crowe and many of the other ones in it.
Alyssa Etheridge. Yeah, many of the other people in it.
They're showing footage.

It's a great documentary. I highly recommend it.
However, I did see, and I think she's beautiful. She looks great, but Cheryl Crowe looks different.
Oh, Cheryl Crowe is another one. She doesn't.

I love her. I love her.
Nothing wrong with it. And whatever she wanted to do.
But I was watching the documentary and I'm like, that is the, is that her?

It doesn't. There's something that's happened like, in the

some kind of facial difference. Uh, let me say, and she looks great, though.
Nothing wrong with the way she looks. She looks beautiful as always, but just different than she used to.

No, she's always been a beautiful girl.

I love her music. I love her.
Yeah.

Is that her? Is that what you're talking about? She just looks different. Yeah, it's just a difference.

But I mean, listen, and I can understand when you are

famous in the public spotlight spotlight and you're a woman

I'm not so I don't know but I already feel the pressure to look good for this stupid fucking camera where there's less than 100 people that ever are going to view this particular video right yeah six I mean maybe a couple thousand if I talk about Venezuela right I mean

that's it

um but the

the reality sure we all want to look our best and it's hard to age it is you know

it's scary you don't want to

beat it back. You think of the people that when you were younger that looked old and then, am I going to look like that? What's that?

You know, but I think there's got to be a balance. There has to.
I agree with you there. And the one thing that, like, again, I don't care.
There's no judgment here.

There's not even judgment on Bradley Cooper. I wish he would have gone to a different doctor, but I don't have any judgment about the guy wanting to look younger.
He's dating Gigi Hadid.

He's one of the most famous actors ever. Everyone's going to expect him to look his best in every role that he does.
There's probably an immense amount of pressure, especially when you're named like

the most handsome man in the world 70 times in a row and all that other stuff.

And you don't win it for three years in a row because you realize your own mortality.

It must be a weird

life to live when you look in the mirror and say, you know, how do I keep this up? I think you have to be ready to give that up. I think you have to be ready to say, bye-bye.
That was me then. Yes.

And that's hard, I think, for a lot of people. Yes.
Let's look at example: A, Corey Feldman.

He looks terrible, but he always has. And so the guy just looks that way.
And listen, Corey Feldman, I think that's all natural. Go to the Corey Feldman.
Just leave it alone. Go to the Corey.

Go to the do a Corey. Hey, Doc.
Can you give me the Corey? Yes. Can you give me the Corey? Just tape my face back for a couple hours and I'll hope that the wrinkles go away.
That's what I can afford.

You gotta heard about something called threading, too. And I'm not saying the threading of your eyebrows, like like taking the hair off.

But there's some kind of threading you can get in your face. This is what Frankie B was talking about.

The barbed wire that pulls the skin back, and you leave the threads in there, and it pulls the skin back. So Frankie B was hot topic.

Hot topic, dude. On the top of the curve.
Before Chris Jenner, there was Frankie B pulling his face back.

He looks terrible, too. Yeah.
I mean, he's looking different also.

He also had. Have you checked in with him? Yeah, I did.
There's a new shorter video, which I hope means a longer one's coming. But, you know, you never know.

I'm happy for him, then that means he's still with his girlfriend. Yeah, that means that there's a romantic relationship that's occupying his time.

It seems like when he's, he's, when there's no girl, he's romantically involved with YouTube.

When there's a girl, he really focuses on her. I can appreciate that.
It makes me think about just how lucky we have it with Frankie and that Frankie might actually be

the coolest pickup artist that has ever lived. Oh, he definitely is.
He might be.

That's for sure.

All right. I want to talk about another podcast, which I don't often do, but I want to talk about another podcast.
Let's take a break and we'll talk about two bears, one cave. Is it the end?

Are we done with it? We'll see. We'll be back.

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief.
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It is literally insane. What are we going to do?

Did we just pull a

who's the guy that does that where he's talking

when he comes back on? Howard Stern. No, no.
Oh.

The other guy. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I don't want to say his name. Yeah.
Our friend, our good friend on Instagram. Yeah, but we're actually talking to somebody, each other.
Yeah, he's talking to Nova. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.

Man, his Instagram has been good lately. It's been good.
But it's really my the the catfish girl is really the best Instagram account. And I'm never going to give her name away.

I'm not here to personally shame anybody, but I will say this girl has got to be one of the crazier human beings I've ever seen on Instagram.

And the things that she says into the camera and then just leaves up there,

it's crazy. It's racist and bigoted.
And she hates people who have weight on them and she hates skinny people and she hates people that think and she hates people that don't think.

And then she talks about how, you know, and then she, I don't know, she reads from a Dr. Wayne Dyer book and talks about how mindful she is.
It's just so transparently weird.

And it's like performance art. It's so good.
I love it. I love when there's a new post.
I'm like, ooh, what crazy thing is she going to say now?

There's a lot of people on this earth. Most of them aren't well.

Most of them are not well.

It's confirmed. Okay.

Burt Kreischer, Tom Sagura.

I don't usually talk about other comedy podcasts because I don't have anything against any other comedy podcast. and I don't have anything against Two Bears in One Cave.

I want to make that absolutely clear. I don't know them personally.
I've never interacted with either of them. I've only admired their success.
That's it. They've done a great job.

They have millions and millions and millions of people that are listening to them and watching them. Tom is selling out huge.
Didn't we interview him? Tom Segura? Yeah. No.
Oh. Uh-uh.

I thought we did. No, I think

there was some conversation about Bert coming on the show, actually, but I don't think that, obviously, that hasn't happened yet. And he's welcome.

I mean, Tom and Bert are welcome to come on the show if that, if you so choose.

But they don't need to because they have, you know, they're making really good money doing their stand-up and their movies. And I know that

Bert was here in Atlanta doing some filming for a television show. And I think there was some conversation about us talking to him.

But, you know, he was filming the TV show, so it just didn't work out. But whatever.
That's neither here nor there. Okay.

What happened was, is that two Bears in One Cave cave have been around for a very long time. And really, Tom and Bert just kind of got together and did that podcast.
They had known each other.

I don't know if they were like super great friends beforehand.

The word on the street is they just kind of got together and decided to do this show based on the popularity of Tom's show with his wife called Your Mom's House, right?

And that show also was fabulously successful. So Tom's got two really successful podcasts, one with his wife, one with Bert.

I had no idea about about all of the drama happening in the audience of two bears and one cave. I don't either.
That people are really upset at this podcast.

They like, they're, they're getting like fiery upset at the podcast and the fact that, you know, listen, okay, here's what, here's the, here's like the bottom line of it.

Tom went from self-effacing

every every man

standing up and doing, you know, 30-minute sets and shitty clubs all across America, you know, touring all the time kind of comics, the same people that we talk to, to fabulously wealthy comics selling out arenas, like Nate Bargatzi style, right?

One of the top comics in the business. And people are angry because of the way that he now talks.

Like he has turned in from self-effacing into this, according to them, into a braggadocious, egotistical, you know, talking down to people who don't have money, telling them that it's their fault that they're poor.

And I've heard some of the clips, like that's what he says. And I don't know if he's going for the joke or he's doing that.
That seems strange.

He could make it into a self-effacing joke, but he doesn't. Okay.
So Burt has one persona and one persona only, and that is get drunk, have fun, good time, guy. Right.

He's got a very specific kind of laugh. It's very loud, and oftentimes it can go on for minutes at a time.
And it can be distracting. I've listened to the show.
It can be distracting.

But that's his persona. He's always been like that, right? He's the guy who does all of his stand-up sets with his shirt off.

And he also sells out big like baseball stadiums, like, you know, minor league baseball stadiums. Like the guy is no slouch in the stand-up comedian world either.
He has made a name for himself.

He's got TV shows and specials and all that other good stuff. So both of these guys have seen huge success since the podcast started.

And the audience is growing angrier and angrier with them because they are apparent, they are seemingly out of touch with what got them popular in the first place. Which happens.
Which does happen.

And we have seen this with other podcasts also.

I know, well,

there is a podcast with a couple of girls that do podcasts that also are now getting the same rap too and have fallen out of favor with the audience.

So I knew none of this until some guy online did like this whole expose about Two Bears, One Cave. And that video got like 680,000 views and likes and likes and comments and all this other stuff.

So apparently, you know, he hit on something. And the title of the video was, Is This the End of Two Bearers One Cave?

So I

yeah, he, the guy in the video,

I know, expose.

It's really just a guy on the guy with a computer cutting clips of Two Bearers One Cave and showing shitty comments from listeners. Expose, though, sounds very sexy for some reason, the word.

Oh, it's like expose, exposure, with an a with an a expose a

expose a

it's like a canadian expose expose eh yeah

diamond bird expose eh

expose a e

uh

so He claims in the video that they went, that they had to take some time away from each other, like, you know, reset the, reframe it, the podcast and all this. So they took a six-week time off.

And they invited two other comedians, Stavi, and this other guy, this other very,

who was it? Nick Stefano, I think.

To Stefane. Stefone?

Stefano.

Who filled in on to.

Okay.

So.

So they had the same thing.

Okay. So

they had take this planned six week, but the guy in the video, I think, incorrectly said they needed to reframe and reset the table and take some time apart i actually think that i know why this was and that's because i think burt was going to film his show i think that is why they actually took the uh the time off

the

reality so i i say this because not to like knock uh burt and tom you can go in the comments section and there are plenty of unhappy people about the show these two other comedians fill in and people go crazy they love it they love it They loved it, right?

And these two comedians really went at Bert and Tom. Stavi and they really went at that.
Oh, at their own show. On their own show.
Wow.

But, you know, I guess you mess with the bear, you get the horns. I mean, you can mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Mess with the bear, you get the horns. That's not expensive.

Special

hosts. Hold on one second.
I want to make sure I get the.

Yeah, I said it right. Stavros and and Chris.
Stavros and Chris, they go at,

you know, they kind of poke at Tom. They poke the bear.
They poke the bear and the cave. And in the cave.
They poke the bear in the cave.

And the fans go crazy and they love it. And they want more of it.
And they're hoping that they're going to stay. This is really,

I share this because I think this is really shows the power. of the audience.
Right.

And that when you're making a living doing something like this, when you're doing a podcast,

you're never going to be able to make everybody happy. No.
And there's always going to be people who tune in and tune out. There's always going to be churn in the audience.

There's always going to be folks who stay for a minute, get unhappy with something you say, and leave and go to the next podcast.

And then there's going to be your diehard fans that stick with you, ride or die.

But I'm sensing a little bit of a

like kind of a through line with some other podcasts that I've seen this happen to.

And it seems to happen when people get rich and famous and start talking about all their rich, their riches, and their fame.

So I want to make a promise here to the audience. Chrissy and I are neither rich nor famous, and it's unlikely we're ever going to be.
So we promise to you to keep

begging for your attention so that we can pay the power bill. That's it.
That's all we want. Just to pay the power bill.
That's all we want. We don't care about anything else.

As long as the lights go on and the internet works for our cats,

that's all we care about. That's all we need.
Yeah. If there ever comes a day when Chrissy and I start talking too much shit about all of our riches and our fame,

know that you're in an alternate universe, first of all. That something's gone wrong.
You may have died and got heaven. I don't know.
But second of all, let us know.

Like, text us and just be like, hey, dude, you know,

you're talking about driving that 2018 Honda Civic

with your 12 kids in the back. It's getting a little too big for your britches, buddy.
Too bougie for your britches, my brother. This seems to be the rub.

The rub is when, you know, they start flaunting it, right? When they start rubbing it in the listeners' faces, or that's how the listeners feel. And I think you do have to be careful.

You absolutely do. And especially, too, with the world that we live in and the level of inequality and wealth is bad.
It's real bad. It's super disgusting.
Yeah. It's really bad.

You know, when there's like 180 guys,

and I say guys, maybe one or two women through in there, guys, who like control 90% of the wealth in the country, there is a huge gap. And most of us are living well below it.
Well,

yeah. And then with AI and with drones, we were just looking at something with drones.
Drones? Yeah. I mean, it's taken away jobs.
It really is.

Branding. That's just what's happening.
Brands are now paying AI influencers to do their stuff on social media rather than pay real human beings.

So we don't think it's coming for us, but it probably is. Yeah.
Right. I mean, the truth is, AI can probably have already sucked up all the commercial break.

They could probably make a better episode of the show than we could. Now, I'm not going to allow it to do that, not quite yet.

When I'm in the villages, then I'll let AI take over.

We're down there. Yeah.
I'll be driving my

2016 Honda Civic while living in the broom closet at the villages, promising to pay rent next month.

Check from the mail. Check.
Check. What's that? What's that?

But it's a cautionary tale, I think. And the way that this guy put it together on the video made it seem, at least this was the end.
Listen, this is also very

narrative-focused. It's not like some, you know, huge, unbalanced.

expose, A, that this guy did. He really had a, he had a narrative, and he went for it and he made it appear that that's what's going on with the audience.

Then you can go and you can read the comments and the reviews and you can see that that's how people are feeling. And, you know,

again, I have nothing against Tom or Bert. I think they're probably lovely guys, but you got to be careful when you,

when all of your audience is the everyman and the everywoman. And then you start talking like you're anything but the everywhere.
Yeah, they can't relate. It's not related.

They can't relate. So again, I just want to make another promise to our audience that we'll always be able to relate because it's likely we'll also always be poor.
So don't worry about it. It's okay.

A thousand episodes in.

I'm thinking about right now who's who's, to me, has continued to stay, even though she's fabulously wealthy, but you know, somebody like Oprah.

And she does her like favorite things, which kind of helps you be, like, you can have what Oprah has. You know, she's.

Very, very, very wealthy. Oh, she got billions of dollars.
Yeah. Yeah.
But she's never really like seemed to be completely out of touch. Yeah.
I always felt like

Bill Burr was the kind of guy that I felt like was in touch, like a George Carlin type.

Like even though he probably doesn't need to work another day in his life, he's still out there hustling and doing it. But then Bill Burr went and did the Riyadh comedy.
Oh, my God.

I mean, people are getting major backlash from that, and I agree. Bill, I can forgive.
But that's a hard one to forget. That's really shitty, dude.

After you railed against them for years and then you sucked up the blood money, dude.

Blue agrees. Yeah, Blue agrees.
That's right.

Blue's an asshole.

I guess Blue's feeling better.

Yes.

Yeah, but you're not feeling better. What is going on in that chair? Are you allergic to that chair? I swear I don't do this.
As soon as I step out of here, I tell you.

You must be allergic to the chair.

Maybe I'll bring myself together. I'm going to get the air filter in here.
Yeah, yeah, get the air filter.

We vacuum. I vacuum once a week.
Yeah, but it could be the rug, you know, doing all this stuff. Yeah.
Anyway. Anyway, best to you, Tom and Bert.
I hope you guys survive this.

I know you will. I'm not worried about it.
Yeah. Yeah.

That's the other thing, too, is that maybe there's just a portion of the audience that's just... Please go in too.
At no stage of wealth do you want somebody feeling like they're better than you.

I don't care if I

have no penny.

No I have one penny and you've got two and you're acting better than me. That's not cool.
Exactly. No, just don't do that.

Go back to the self-effacing humor that brought you there.

I don't think this is a Bert problem, more is it is a Tom problem, but they were like on Rogan talking about buying themselves Rolexes and you could see how it might fall the wrong way.

Like, you know, here's Rogan.

a half a billionaire yeah with bird a clearly a millionaire and tom probably getting close to rogan type money you know all talking about their fancy watches and their nice houses Yeah, with the food shortages and things that are happening right now all across not only our country, but the world.

The single biggest cost at the commercial break, health insurance is about to triple.

Triple. God.
If they don't figure something out, triple. That's crazy.
Yeah. There might not be lights on in here.
We might be doing this in the dark. That's no joke.

Because we got to have health insurance. We have too many children.

Anyway. All right.
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It is a good one. All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

I'll tell you that I love you. I love you.
Best to you.

Best to you out there on the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say.
We do say and we must say. Goodbye.
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I get ass