Mr. 5:30!

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Speaker 3 Thank you for joining us here at WSHIT.

Speaker 3 Major breaking news today in the Crab Apple Township: as the escalating war between Tina of Tina Tan and Twees and Diane of the Diane Duck Inn has reached a fevered pitch as now Tina and her toothless wife Wanda have laid bare accusations against Diana and Duck Inn and their severely overcooked chicken fingers.

Speaker 3 Many in the Crab Apple Township have been torn asunder by these accusations. Family member against family member, neighbor against neighbor, Tina Tan and Tweez or Duck Inn.

Speaker 3 Quite frankly, it's hard for this reporter to stay impartial. However, on social media, just today, Tina and her wife, Wanda releasing the video moments after receiving unchewable chicken fingers.

Speaker 3 This video is as emotional as it gets. If you have children in the room, I highly suggest they leave now.

Speaker 3 Let's listen now to that video of these accusations that are currently tearing the township apart.

Speaker 5 We asked them for chicken strips that my wife can chew that are not hard.

Speaker 3 Please do not cook them too long.

Speaker 5 What do they do? They cook them too long.

Speaker 5 And now she can't eat them.

Speaker 5 Let me finish this first. We ordered freaking french fries with cheese sauce on them.
Didn't get that.

Speaker 5 I ordered

Speaker 5 chicken wings

Speaker 5 with a side of fries with cheese on it.

Speaker 3 Didn't get it.

Speaker 5 My wife calls up there to tell them what was wrong. She was calm.
She was she's like, hey, I just left there

Speaker 5 and my chicken fingers are cooked too long. Can you, and the lady stops her.

Speaker 5 Well, if you weren't such a fat fucking bitch, and he called, she called her a cunt and everything else, all because my wife was actually being nice and was like, can you please fix it?

Speaker 5 Well, she called her everything under the sun.

Speaker 5 And instead of my wife fighting back, she's sitting here fucking crying I was the one that flipped out on him and we're calling the better business bureau and let me tell you do not go to the duck end because obviously they need better management than that bitch behind the bar

Speaker 5 no was it Diane yeah

Speaker 3 well let me tell you Diane I'm coming for you Diana from Diana's duck end then responded by calling Tina's wife Wanda the toothless wonder Our world, as we know it, spinning in the opposite direction.

Speaker 3 We will, of course, be here in studio, live with any additional breaking news. But for now, we must go to a commercial break.

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Speaker 1 5:30.

Speaker 17 Oh, yeah, Cats and Kittens.

Speaker 18 Welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green.

Speaker 19 This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Odley. Best to you, Chris.

Speaker 20 Best to you, Brian.

Speaker 18 Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you?

Speaker 22 Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of the Eston Commercial Break.

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Go to tcbpodcast.com to collect your winnings.

Speaker 7 I did it.

Speaker 22 Yes, you did.

Speaker 26 I still remember it.

Speaker 28 It's like riding a bike. Once you get into it, you just never forget it.

Speaker 32 That, of course, is the season two and season three opening that left us with little to no listeners.

Speaker 24 Average listen time, 3%.

Speaker 18 I wanted to say a few things.

Speaker 28 We were just talking about one of my brothers is going to Europe on a little vacation, and of course, he's having all kind of travel drama because the travel drama is high right now.

Speaker 38 All the thunderstorms and weird weather.

Speaker 32 I was just watching.

Speaker 39 My flight got canceled coming back from Memphis.

Speaker 41 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 42 You were stuck in Memphis for an extra day.

Speaker 28 He got stuck.

Speaker 21 They canceled his flight.

Speaker 43 He found another flight.

Speaker 32 He gets to Charles de Gaulle, which is in Paris.

Speaker 4 And Charles de Gaulle, a two, one and a half, two hour layover turns into like 25 hours or something, enough time to go sightseeing in Paris.

Speaker 32 And it's not like the airport's, I mean, it's close, but it's not right around the corner.

Speaker 47 And Paris traffic can be terrible, too.

Speaker 24 So he's out there.

Speaker 21 Listen, there's all kinds of travel drama right now.

Speaker 32 And the 4th of July weekend that just happened does nobody any favors, but the weather is wild.

Speaker 20 I mean, it's wild all throughout the country.

Speaker 53 All throughout.

Speaker 20 And even in Europe.

Speaker 54 And even in Europe.

Speaker 45 You're right about that.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 11 Flooding and hail.

Speaker 39 Greece is on fire, or one of the islands is on fire.

Speaker 21 And they had like, I saw that there was like a tornado in Ireland or the UK.

Speaker 46 Like, they don't have tornadoes over there.

Speaker 55 And there was a tornado.

Speaker 56 They don't have tornadoes.

Speaker 41 It's just not a thing that they're north enough that tornadoes don't happen.

Speaker 28 They don't have that kind of weather. But I saw that some they spotted the tornado.

Speaker 32 But then I saw in Vegas

Speaker 21 that a windstorm, a dust storm came by and it blew like 55 power poles down on one street.

Speaker 51 They all just went down in a row.

Speaker 7 Wow.

Speaker 57 And people on the internet are fucking stupid because they can't just accept that something happened.

Speaker 11 It all has to be some mysterious global conspiracy, terrorism, aliens.

Speaker 32 Joe Biden is always the default reason.

Speaker 57 COVID, the vaccine, Kamala Harris, Beyonce took $10 million to push the telephone poles down.

Speaker 59 I mean, it's really quite crazy how crazy people are online.

Speaker 65 They're nuts.

Speaker 36 And with the chemtrails, it's all being caused by the chemtrails, and the sunsets are no longer the same as they used to be.

Speaker 11 They're now a different hue of red because of global elites flying their planes over Leonardo DiCaprio.

Speaker 66 Thank God that JD Vance is saving us from wind turbines and chemtrail.

Speaker 32 People are fucking looney, too.

Speaker 32 A dust storm blowing at 90 to 100 miles per hour.

Speaker 55 That's a level, that's a Hurricane Cat 1.

Speaker 36 In Las Vegas, where there is basically nothing to stop the wind or the dust.

Speaker 40 The desert, too.

Speaker 38 One of the poles goes down, they yank all the other poles down that are already getting stressed by the wind.

Speaker 32 There's a lot of video of this windstorm that happened.

Speaker 56 There are tractor trailers that are blown over.

Speaker 13 There are porta potties that are like a mile away from where they originally were.

Speaker 32 It's pretty clear what happened, but no one can accept that on fact.

Speaker 30 Everyone has a different conspiracy theory.

Speaker 36 And I think you're all very sick and you need mental evaluation immediately if you believe these things.

Speaker 20 Why?

Speaker 32 Why does it all have to be a conspiracy?

Speaker 36 Why can't it just be the thing that happened? Why isn't it just the thing that happened?

Speaker 38 It was a windstorm.

Speaker 32 When it rains here, I don't say it's because Joe Biden is seeding the clouds above my house to make my pool overflow and some grand global conspiracy to spread E.

Speaker 51 coli all across my yard.

Speaker 73 It rained.

Speaker 4 Now, how did the rain happen?

Speaker 58 Why is it raining so much?

Speaker 32 I don't know.

Speaker 60 It's a different story altogether.

Speaker 21 Maybe that has to do with something called global warming.

Speaker 75 But you know what? God forbid me from accepting science as fact. I don't know, Chrissy.

Speaker 33 I just think people are really mentally challenged there's a lot of men there's a lot of people on this earth and most of us are not well and that it remains my belief to this day i agree and if you don't accept my hypothesis then you are welcome to turn off the commercial break if you're one of these people that are conspiracy minded let me hand you a ladder down that rabbit hole you've gone down and if you don't accept crawling out of it well then that's at your own detriment because i just was reading somebody the other day said the moon is hollow and aliens put it there and they're watching us.

Speaker 54 Then I'm watching a pretty well-known NFL player.

Speaker 73 I'm not going to name because I just think he's also mentally challenged talk about how the moon could not possibly emit its own light or couldn't reflect the light of the sun.

Speaker 55 That it's like a flashlight.

Speaker 47 It must be turning itself on and off.

Speaker 73 We went to the moon.

Speaker 25 We saw it for ourselves.

Speaker 39 Well, that's a whole other conspiracy.

Speaker 32 Even Joe Rogan changed his mind on that one.

Speaker 21 He was also a, it never happened.

Speaker 4 And now he's like, well, it probably happened.

Speaker 84 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 11 Come on, guys. Let's get it together.
That moon is hollow, really?

Speaker 24 Is it made of cheese, too?

Speaker 11 Is there a man on the moon with cheese in his eyeball? Come on, guys.

Speaker 16 Get it together.

Speaker 4 It's, I mean, I don't know what it's made of, and I don't know who put it there, and I don't know why it's there, because none of us know because we weren't there when it happened.

Speaker 87 But I'm pretty sure we would have figured out it's hollow and that there are aliens living in it and staring at it.

Speaker 75 We've been staring at that moon for like 70 million years.

Speaker 68 I mean, come on.

Speaker 75 You don't think somebody would have figured it out by now? You can look in a telescope and see the moon for yourself.

Speaker 88 It's not that hard to figure out.

Speaker 90 It's not a light bulb turning itself on and off.

Speaker 75 That is the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my entire life.

Speaker 36 It's a light bulb turning itself on and off.

Speaker 11 Who do you think we are?

Speaker 73 Jim Carrey in the movie, whatever that movie is?

Speaker 22 Man on the... What is that?

Speaker 39 Oh, no, that was

Speaker 24 the Truman show.

Speaker 39 Yeah,

Speaker 36 someone's just turning the lights on and off.

Speaker 79 You think the sun turns itself on and off too?

Speaker 65 Come on.

Speaker 39 And it seems stressful to me if you are believing all of these things. Like,

Speaker 61 wow.

Speaker 33 Yeah, you must really, really, really,

Speaker 21 it must be hard just to live a normal life if everything is a grand conspiracy of something else.

Speaker 87 I understand.

Speaker 32 You want answers, and the mind abhors a vacuum.

Speaker 68 And that living on your own and watching

Speaker 77 freedom news by the My Pillow Guy is 24 hours a day on a loop.

Speaker 62 Is really getting to you?

Speaker 48 But please take a break.

Speaker 83 Go outside. Take a walk.

Speaker 42 Don't concern yourself with all the things that could possibly be.

Speaker 82 Yeah.

Speaker 73 Listen, a wise monk once said this.

Speaker 40 We need like a little music.

Speaker 34 I know.

Speaker 79 We do need a music in show, but I'm going to make one.

Speaker 73 A wise monk once said.

Speaker 61 You don't

Speaker 47 worrying about things that may or may not happen is anxiety, right?

Speaker 32 And stress is worrying about all, or fear is worrying about all the things that did happen.

Speaker 46 You only have today, you only have right now.

Speaker 77 Let's not concern ourselves with whether the moon is turning itself on or off.

Speaker 78 Let's concern ourselves with being a good human being to those around us.

Speaker 76 That's the only thing that we can control.

Speaker 55 Just being a good human being, just trying to be nice to the next guy.

Speaker 36 Try not to be an asshole.

Speaker 75 And then you might say to yourself, Brian, but you're an asshole.

Speaker 97 And I say, yes, but I have a podcast.

Speaker 47 And that's what podcasts are made for.

Speaker 34 Being an asshole.

Speaker 65 That's right.

Speaker 91 Thank God for podcasts. It gives us assholes a place to go.

Speaker 65 That's right.

Speaker 66 But speaking of travel drama, I got very caught up in a, in a, in a very, a travel drama that happened to a young lady,

Speaker 96 I don't know, a couple weeks ago, or maybe, I don't know, maybe this was last week or something.

Speaker 60 Let me play the

Speaker 38 let me play the Instagram reel and I'll get you up to speed on what's going on, okay?

Speaker 99 Okay. Here we go.

Speaker 100 Okay, so I'm recording this right now because we are on United Airlines going from Pico to Chicago and we booked these seats. We're in first class.

Speaker 100 We booked these seats fair and square and all of a sudden

Speaker 100 my fiancé just got engaged. My fiancé just

Speaker 100 got moved to coach. They bumped him because they wanted a flight attendant to

Speaker 100 not a flight attendant, they wanted someone a part of the crew to sit in first class instead.

Speaker 100 I understand that the crew works really hard. However, we booked these seats ahead of time and this is not fair.

Speaker 100 um this is not customer service i'm sorry it's just not customer service like this is ridiculous

Speaker 34 what they're hiding what you okay so what they're hiding is

Speaker 85 it's a conspiracy of course it is it's a conspiracy it's joe biden again taking everybody's first class seats and kicking them into coach must be bill gates um

Speaker 16 what they are what you what this poor girl and then there's lots of follow-up information about this but with this poor girl what happened to this poor girl is her and her husband they booked this trip, or her, her fiancé, they booked this trip, they just got engaged, they're going to celebrate, they book this trip, they book first-class tickets, business class tickets on this United Airlines flight.

Speaker 32 And when they get onto the plane, the husband, who happens to be in seat number, whatever, because the crew just decided seat number or whatever, is now going to be reserved for part of the crew, part of the staff, part of the airline.

Speaker 32 My guess is,

Speaker 64 could have been, could have been an air marshal, right?

Speaker 21 Last-minute air marshal problem

Speaker 77 or concern or needed an air marshal.

Speaker 47 And that happened to be the seat they chose.

Speaker 76 And the husband got put back in coach.

Speaker 32 Now, there was some kind of recompense for this.

Speaker 47 It wasn't like they just put him back in coach and said, sorry, shit out of luck.

Speaker 38 No, no money, no ticky, no tacky.

Speaker 87 There was some kind of reciprocation, like they got a free ticket or whatever.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 96 Free upgrades on the next flight or whatever happened.

Speaker 21 But I agree with this young lady. Like I have to agree with this young lady.

Speaker 51 I bought it.

Speaker 21 I bought it ahead of time.

Speaker 55 I bought it so that I could sit next to my fiancé in business class, which is not cheap.

Speaker 21 And we are celebrating something and I'd like to be with him.

Speaker 33 And this poor girl was brought to tears because now she cannot sit next to him.

Speaker 46 There is no choice. There is no seat available in Coach to sit next to him, even if she wanted to.
And now she's stuck all alone next to a stranger that she doesn't know.

Speaker 44 And that's not the biggest part of the deal.

Speaker 32 The biggest part of the deal is that United Airlines felt that they could just do this.

Speaker 78 Now it's their plane.

Speaker 21 They certainly have the right to do whatever.

Speaker 41 And the law allows it.

Speaker 21 If you can get bumped at any time for any reason, but this is happening to a lot

Speaker 56 of people.

Speaker 21 Yes, they are getting bumped from their flight.

Speaker 71 We're back to oversold.

Speaker 44 We're back to airlines paying thousands of dollars to get people out of their seats or just bumping them all together,

Speaker 78 even if you have a reserve ticket or switching seats or whatever it is.

Speaker 71 We're back to terrible customer service with most airlines.

Speaker 36 Now, luckily, the only airline that I choose to ever fly on my own for any reason, there's a couple, but the one that I choose to fly on is Delta yeah I mean and Delta I have never ever had an issue with a Delta flight I've had cancellations I've had delays I've had problems with aircraft but I've never been bumped out of my seat and I've always gotten the seat that I had chosen at least I've always gotten that I know that's not everybody's delta experience um but and but United Airlines is one of the other premium uh carriers out there and now I heard the United Airlines CEO recently give a talk where he said the discount airlines are terrible and they were terrible from the beginning and they're even worse now and they're going to go out of business.

Speaker 55 And I agree with him because they're not really discount airlines, but this is not a discount airline.

Speaker 64 This is United Airlines and you're flying business class.

Speaker 55 You should be entitled to that seat, even if it's not on that plane.

Speaker 66 You should be entitled to that seat.

Speaker 4 You should be entitled to some option to get together in a business class seat on another flight that same day or in the same manner that you were going to be accustomed to

Speaker 64 in a short period of time.

Speaker 55 And even if that's another airline altogether, because that's just not fair.

Speaker 21 I mean, it doesn't matter what they're allowed to do.

Speaker 38 It's just not fair.

Speaker 49 It's not good customer service.

Speaker 56 And I feel really bad for that girl.

Speaker 33 I really do.

Speaker 36 She seemed very upset that she was going to be alone during this flight.

Speaker 60 Is it the worst thing that ever happened?

Speaker 76 No. Can you make it through?

Speaker 102 Of course.

Speaker 32 Are you going to survive?

Speaker 29 No one's dying.

Speaker 32 It's just a seat change, but it's kind of shitty.

Speaker 35 I would feel bad about this too.

Speaker 16 I agree.

Speaker 7 I mean, I don't know what happened with that.

Speaker 39 I mean, and do we really know all of the things that surrounded it?

Speaker 104 We just know that he was asked to move, that he was told to move, that they needed the seat for something and that he needed to move, but that it was someone crew related, United Airlines related.

Speaker 32 My suspicion is, and this is just a suspicion, is that this was an air marshal.

Speaker 49 And air marshals fly on a lot of flights.

Speaker 32 They don't tell you how many flights, but some people have estimated up to 70% of domestic flights and maybe 90% of international flights, there are air marshals.

Speaker 47 There are tens of thousands of flights every day in and out of the United States, into and out of those.

Speaker 38 There are a lot of air marshals, and they're there to keep everybody safe.

Speaker 46 And they don't announce themselves.

Speaker 87 They never will unless something bad happens. And then you'll see them.

Speaker 21 But they need to be there.

Speaker 4 However,

Speaker 51 kicking someone out of their seat to get an air marshal on there shouldn't be part of the program.

Speaker 32 Those seats should be just always reserved for an air marshal.

Speaker 55 And I thought that that's how it worked.

Speaker 58 There was always just one seat on the plane that we reserved for the air marshal.

Speaker 40 Well, I don't know why the air marshal had to have first.

Speaker 91 Maybe they felt that that was the place he needed to be.

Speaker 29 Maybe there was a reason why he needed to be there.

Speaker 77 Exactly.

Speaker 78 Maybe there was a person he needed to sit near just in case.

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 32 But what a shitty thing to do, United Airlines.

Speaker 42 I'm glad that she got there and that there's something happened for them.

Speaker 36 But at the same time, in that moment, that would feel terrible to me, too.

Speaker 28 Astern and I have had to sit in different places on airplanes before.

Speaker 91 Me too. It's happened.

Speaker 39 I just had to do it coming back from Memphis because we, our flight was canceled and we were on standby. And I was like, we were like, give us whatever seats you got.

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 24 Hey, listen,

Speaker 75 in certain situations, you just got to take what you can get. In certain situations, Aster doesn't even want to sit next to me.
Yeah.

Speaker 32 So it's kind of like she chose that seat.

Speaker 35 Sometimes we go to the airport and I'm like, okay, what seat you got?

Speaker 46 And she's like, 21A.

Speaker 75 And I'm like, okay, I got 27B.

Speaker 34 And she's like, oh, I don't know how that happened.

Speaker 7 Yep.

Speaker 75 But you got the kids, right?

Speaker 70 Yes, I do.

Speaker 75 They're all in 27.

Speaker 7 I don't know what happened.

Speaker 11 Airline mistake. As a matter of fact, that's happened the last six flights we've taken to Europe.

Speaker 41 We don't fly business class, though.

Speaker 107 That's the only difference.

Speaker 98 Business class. I can't afford that.

Speaker 38 That's crazy.

Speaker 55 I've flown business class before, but only because I managed to grab an incredible discount.

Speaker 66 And I tell you, the first time that I ever went to go see Astrid in Europe when she had moved to Switzerland and she was in Spain for the holidays.

Speaker 78 And so, it's our first year together.

Speaker 47 We've been together like six or seven months.

Speaker 32 I show up to the airport, nighttime flight, as they often are, over to Europe, taking Delta,

Speaker 57 and I get to the gate relatively early.

Speaker 32 I'm there like 30, 40 minutes before we even start boarding.

Speaker 77 So, I'm sitting near the

Speaker 7 desk, then?

Speaker 65 Yeah, where

Speaker 81 those fucking kids, I swear to God.

Speaker 11 What's wrong?

Speaker 11 They took my megaphone. I wanted my megaphone.
They did. They did.

Speaker 90 I see it, but I'm not going to go grab it.

Speaker 77 It's going to bore everybody.

Speaker 31 But you know what the good news is, Chrissy?

Speaker 39 Oh, I see it now too. Yeah, I see it.

Speaker 39 All the way across the room.

Speaker 27 Yeah, they took it.

Speaker 46 Those little rap scallions.

Speaker 41 Those little rap scallions.

Speaker 39 Rap scallions.

Speaker 47 Oh, no, I don't even have it on there.

Speaker 21 The rap scallions.

Speaker 26 They're all in trouble, all of them.

Speaker 61 Anyway, I'm sitting there. And I'm waiting.
We're all, you know, I'm waiting to wait to board.

Speaker 64 And I'm in the back of the plane in coach.

Speaker 16 And all of a sudden, the lady comes on in that terrible, awful little microphone that they're still using at the airports.

Speaker 32 I don't know why they can't just upgrade that system to something you can hear.

Speaker 96 But anyway,

Speaker 108 attention classeness for 107

Speaker 108 airports.

Speaker 108 First class seats are $100.

Speaker 29 And I'm like,

Speaker 86 I don't understand that. She said something about Charles de Gaulle.
That's where I'm going.

Speaker 90 That's where I was flying into.

Speaker 51 Five minutes later.

Speaker 108 Attention passengers on

Speaker 29 And I was like, did

Speaker 44 she say upgrade available?

Speaker 53 And then a third time.

Speaker 7 I thought

Speaker 7 first of all,

Speaker 108 I create the first class for $100. Thank you.

Speaker 47 And I'm like,

Speaker 11 let me go up there.

Speaker 103 And I go, did you say something about an upgrade available?

Speaker 91 And she goes, yep, we have like 10 first class seats, business class seats available, $100.

Speaker 29 And I was like, $100?

Speaker 82 Wow.

Speaker 26 And she was like, $100.

Speaker 38 And she goes, $100.

Speaker 63 And I go, really?

Speaker 51 $100?

Speaker 86 And she goes, $75.

Speaker 22 And I was like, $75?

Speaker 35 Yes, I'll take that. And she was like, okay, swipes my credit card.

Speaker 92 And then I have a business class seat.

Speaker 60 Nice. All of a sudden.

Speaker 49 So my very first trip across the pond, I got to take it in style.

Speaker 76 And ever since then, I have longed.

Speaker 16 Yes.

Speaker 81 I have longed for sitting in a first class seat.

Speaker 39 I know. I have on rare occasion been in first class too, and it's so nice.

Speaker 88 Maze balls. I'm laid out.

Speaker 47 I'm watching TV.

Speaker 73 They're pampering me.

Speaker 56 They're fluffing me up and turning on softcore porn form.

Speaker 25 I mean, it's just a lovely experience.

Speaker 46 They're pouring champagne in your mouth.

Speaker 44 It's a lovely experience.

Speaker 21 But unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen to me because now I have eight people to pay for. Right.

Speaker 46 And that doesn't include if we have in-laws coming with us, if we have 40 people with us.

Speaker 32 But anyway, you know, when you book a flight like that, you just expect that certain things are going to happen.

Speaker 4 These inalienable, non-legal rights.

Speaker 32 It's not like you put a labooboo in your house and Satan has the legal right to your house anymore.

Speaker 47 But it is kind of a social contract that you make with an airline when you pay for the seat.

Speaker 21 I would have said, okay,

Speaker 46 I understand something's going on here.

Speaker 91 Can you take us off this flight?

Speaker 36 and put us on another flight in business class together with a within a reasonable amount of time and refund us some portion of that ticket.

Speaker 87 And that's it.

Speaker 46 Because now that

Speaker 55 all the cancellations are happening, all the delays, all the things, there's a strike at Charles de Gaulle or whatever's going on, shit's getting hairy and crazy again, as it always does around the holiday time.

Speaker 60 Let's just be let's just admit it.

Speaker 55 And planes are falling out of the sky, and half of them don't have wings, and doors are flying off, and people are jumping out of airplanes.

Speaker 47 All this crazy shit that's going on in the airlines.

Speaker 66 Let's not let us go back to like 19 or to 2007 when it was just madness and everyone was getting kicked off flights and your seat was already booked and all this other stuff.

Speaker 4 Let's not go back there.

Speaker 88 Let's not allow the airlines to go back there.

Speaker 38 So United,

Speaker 47 I'm not even, I don't want to talk to Delta because Delta, you're doing a fine job, but United, one of the few regular airlines we still have available to us, American Airlines, United Airlines, Delta.

Speaker 76 Can we all just agree? that when we have a problem, we do the right thing immediately.

Speaker 62 Not like after someone puts together together a social media post that goes viral, but like right then, just do the right thing, offer the right thing.

Speaker 47 Let the poor girl sit next to the guy she just got engaged to. They're not going to want to be next to each other for too much longer.

Speaker 99 So

Speaker 26 let's let them have their moment in the sun.

Speaker 25 Do you know what I'm saying, Chrissy?

Speaker 65 Yeah, just love.

Speaker 65 That's it. Yeah.

Speaker 87 So we started the show with one of my favorite

Speaker 64 sound bites that we've made this year, in this season, and that is 5:30.

Speaker 14 5:30.

Speaker 59 Because

Speaker 36 if you remember, I went over to my mom's for Easter, I went over to the Happy Hills

Speaker 83 home for crazy people, uh,

Speaker 35 and we were in the common area, the common recreation area, and there was a guy sitting there staring.

Speaker 21 We were the only ones in there, my mom and my kids.

Speaker 109 And then all of a sudden, some guy was just sitting there staring at everybody and started

Speaker 46 answering questions we weren't asking, like you know, 5:30

Speaker 14 cheeseburger.

Speaker 39 Yeah, there was like a mention of Dead.

Speaker 16 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 14 Chicken Fed Steve.

Speaker 14 Chicken pot pie. Chicken pot pie.

Speaker 82 And we were like, oh, okay.

Speaker 34 All right.

Speaker 14 Bunny.

Speaker 11 Okay.

Speaker 14 Sounds good. Fresh flowers on Tuesday.

Speaker 11 And I love.

Speaker 47 I love remembering that moment because it really did happen like that.

Speaker 32 That guy's, that was his voice.

Speaker 28 And I thought to myself, that's the most unique voice I've ever heard.

Speaker 46 And the way he's saying things is just crazy funny.

Speaker 32 However, he's got a doppelganger out there on the internet.

Speaker 22 Really?

Speaker 76 And he appeared on my social media because I just have the weirdest fucking algorithm ever created.

Speaker 32 It's a mix of like pastors and religiosity and crazy people.

Speaker 52 And light language.

Speaker 54 Yeah, light language.

Speaker 29 Most of the people that come up on my reels, like when I'm scrolling on reels, they have like less than five views. I mean, honestly, I get like the most random of randoms.

Speaker 32 but this guy is a sales consultant and he has the voice of the guy that was in the recreation home.

Speaker 39 He was in the retirement home.

Speaker 35 He could not, he's, he's either he's doing the best impression of the guy from the recreation room or he, I don't even know what to say.

Speaker 66 He, he's the guy.

Speaker 94 He must be the guy.

Speaker 21 So without any delay, I'd like to take a break and we get back.

Speaker 78 I want to let you listen to what this guy in the recreation room sounded like by way of this sales consultant.

Speaker 99 The sales consultant. Sales consultant.

Speaker 53 Okay.

Speaker 26 Sales consultants on Instagram are a dime a dozen, I've learned.

Speaker 4 All from Paul, the guy, you know,

Speaker 34 that guy. Yes, I love that guy.

Speaker 97 Yeah, that guy's great. We should go back to him.

Speaker 7 We need to.

Speaker 88 But honestly, he gave some good advice compared to most of the people that are out there giving sales advice.

Speaker 47 And I found a new one, Chrissy.

Speaker 92 Let's get to it. We'll take a break.

Speaker 17 We'll be back.

Speaker 111 You'll make this rather snappy, won't you? Somebody can be thinking to do before 10 o'clock.

Speaker 112 Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here.

Speaker 72 Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian?

Speaker 112 Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-433-3TCB.
That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want.
Tell Brian I need a race.

Speaker 112 Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans. Or tell us a little story.
The juicier, the better, by the way.

Speaker 112 We'd love to hear your voice, because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at thecommercial break on Insta, TCB Podcast on TikTok.

Speaker 112 And for those of you who like to watch, oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video.
Youtube.com slash thecommercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show.

Speaker 112 Your free sticker? Or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now.
I've got a date. With my my dog.
No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day.

Speaker 2 This episode is sponsored in part by Rula. You know, there was a time when I really needed therapy, but I could not find a therapist who took my insurance.

Speaker 2 I can remember feeling so stuck like I had to choose between getting help and staying on budget. That's why I think what Rula is doing is so very important.

Speaker 2 Rula makes therapy accessible and affordable by partnering with over 100 insurance plans. The average copay is around $15 per session, and depending on your benefits, it could even be less.

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Speaker 2 Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/slash slash commercial to get started.

Speaker 2 And after you sign up, you'll be asked how you heard about them. Please support the commercial break and let them know we sent you.
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Speaker 2 You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget.

Speaker 113 This is Free Range with Von Miller, the podcast where I step outside the lines and I take you with me.

Speaker 113 Each week, we're talking everything from the biggest stories around the league to the biggest stories off the field. This isn't your average sports podcast.

Speaker 113 This is game meets culture, locker room meets living room, and no topic is off limits.

Speaker 113 So if you're into good conversations that ruffle a few feathers, join me every Wednesday and follow Free Range with Von Miller everywhere you get your podcast.

Speaker 2 This episode is sponsored by our longtime sponsor, Squarespace. I am working on a new project, Information TBD.
It's very secretive.

Speaker 2 It's very hush-hush around here because, you know, podcast secrets are a thing.

Speaker 2 Anywho, there only one all-in-one website tool that's designed to help my new project stand out and be successful and that one tool is squarespace squarespace can help me through every step of the process the launch the scaling the branding and the growth no matter what part of the journey i am on squarespace is an all-in-one website platform so it'll cater to my needs every step of the way there are so many benefits services and tools built into Squarespace I would need a 10 minute commercial to name them all cutting edge design, search engine optimization tools, domain management, analytics, email campaigns, the ability to host videos, and most importantly, the ability to get paid.

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Speaker 2 And when you're ready to launch, make sure to use the offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. That's squarespace.com slash commercial.

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Speaker 2 And thank you to Squarespace for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

Speaker 36 You know, it's been pork chop day for a long time.

Speaker 16 I gotta ask ask Rachel.

Speaker 11 It's been pork chop day for like six months.

Speaker 11 Good for Axel.

Speaker 79 That's all I gotta say. All right.

Speaker 43 Okay, back in Easter, I told a story, and I was talking about the guy in the recreation room at my mom's place when he was when we were talking.

Speaker 78 She was asking the kids to stay for dinner, and which I wanted to avoid at all costs because they're just so disastrous.

Speaker 47 And those old people don't take kindly to kids running up and down the fucking tables at that time.

Speaker 96 My mom thinks it's great.

Speaker 21 And everyone else in the place looks at me with disdain.

Speaker 80 And there was a guy in the corner, not that old, probably in his 60s, and he was answering.

Speaker 32 He was like responding to my mom.

Speaker 24 She was like, God, can't the kids stay for dinner?

Speaker 110 And he was like, dinner at 5.30.

Speaker 11 And I was like, okay, great.

Speaker 38 And so it was like, this guy, my mom, the kids against me.

Speaker 16 Well,

Speaker 35 I wish I could find that guy and have him repeat that voice.

Speaker 64 but in lieu of that i found another guy who has the same voice you ready i'm ready okay here we go

Speaker 10 the third key to success as an entrepreneur is organization that's logistics protocol processes and structure please hop in my calendar learn more

Speaker 10 wow it's the same guy all right let's see he's got another one here oh look at here he's shirtless oh you keep on getting getting all these certifications to show that you're an expert.

Speaker 10 Nobody gives a fucking shit about your dumbass certifications other than stupid people like you. Please hop in my calendar, Lord.

Speaker 12 Please, hop in my calendar.

Speaker 14 You're stupid as shit.

Speaker 79 Please hop in my calendar.

Speaker 114 To learn more.

Speaker 14 I can help you sell more. Look at my beard.
It says respectable sales guy.

Speaker 14 530.

Speaker 39 Yeah, nothing says great sales trainer like shirtless.

Speaker 20 Yeah, you got us on a beach with a fedora.

Speaker 54 With a fedora and a beard that I don't even know how you grow that.

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 44 Who grows that kind of beard?

Speaker 96 Hugh Jackman for the Nothing X X-Men?

Speaker 41 I mean, honestly, that is a Wolverine beard if I've ever seen one.

Speaker 4 It's weird.

Speaker 92 Okay, here he is again.

Speaker 54 I got a number of these videos.

Speaker 10 Do you want to get input from a bunch of very kind,

Speaker 10 funny, intellectual multi-millionaires? I run a productivity and accountability pod every Friday. 90 minutes.
It's $300 a month. The information's in the description below.

Speaker 12 Oh, wow.

Speaker 39 He's got a multi-million dollar people.

Speaker 103 He's got friends

Speaker 39 that do a pod.

Speaker 14 Multi-millionaire!

Speaker 14 Welcome to my multi-millionaire pod.

Speaker 14 Here you will learn accountability and why your certifications fucking suck.

Speaker 11 Jump in my calendar for more information.

Speaker 14 But it's 30 is the time when I trim my beard.

Speaker 46 Nothing says multi-millionaire like a tie-dye poster.

Speaker 53 In the back. In the back of your right above your head.

Speaker 89 Yeah, in the back of your IKEA furniture.

Speaker 87 I mean, listen, he's making a living. No knock on that.

Speaker 21 You got to get to give it to him.

Speaker 32 He's out there. He's hustling.
He's doing his thing.

Speaker 47 I give it to you, brother.

Speaker 32 God bless you.

Speaker 71 $300 a month.

Speaker 32 That's expensive.

Speaker 75 $300 a month is $3,600 a year to join my pod full of millionaires.

Speaker 111 Did you jump on his calendar?

Speaker 70 Of course I did.

Speaker 45 I just wanted to record his voice.

Speaker 60 Listen, I don't need any sales training. It's not what I do.

Speaker 32 But can you do me a favor and tell me what time it is?

Speaker 7 530!

Speaker 14 530!

Speaker 110 5.30!

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Look at this guy.

Speaker 103 He is one of a kind.

Speaker 60 We should call him and ask for some sales training because I think we need it.

Speaker 34 I think so, too.

Speaker 79 We're going to need to sell something eventually on this stupid podcast.

Speaker 103 I love it.

Speaker 66 And here's my question.

Speaker 59 At what level of sales

Speaker 82 are you?

Speaker 32 That you're like not paying, you know, $50,000 for like Brian Tracy sales training.

Speaker 37 Like Brian Tracy is like kind of known as like the god of consultative sales.

Speaker 60 Brian Tracy is the master.

Speaker 37 Everybody, I think, would roundly agree that Brian Tracy is kind of like a requisite sales training that you should take.

Speaker 7 I remember reading some of his books.

Speaker 17 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 42 I remember that the first sales training I ever did when I first got into my first like office job, Rafa handed me the Brian Tracy method.

Speaker 21 And it was like 12 tapes.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 47 12 tapes and a bunch of books.

Speaker 68 And I went through it every morning.

Speaker 32 I'd listen to another tape, listen to another tape, and give you an idea of what it takes to be a consultative salesperson.

Speaker 47 That means you're not transactionally selling.

Speaker 96 You're not selling

Speaker 47 widgets or, you know, you're not in a Best Buy selling phones or whatever it is.

Speaker 35 You're consulting with someone to figure out what their needs are and then how to negotiate with them back and forth and what negotiation really is and the mind tricks that people play with in negotiation, all that stuff.

Speaker 36 It's like a really solid introduction to sales.

Speaker 53 But at what level of sales are you?

Speaker 32 That this guy becomes the answer.

Speaker 25 Do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 32 what are you selling like

Speaker 12 mosquito services for your backyard needed certification with something you don't need certification with because book your certifications

Speaker 14 no one cares get in my calendar

Speaker 40 uh let's listen to another one here he is

Speaker 10 he's got a nice color shirt i'll give him that i offer a 30-minute complimentary conversation i will not try to sell you anything i will add massive value to your life and business.

Speaker 10 My calendar is in the description below. Please hop in my calendar to learn more.

Speaker 12 His face changes too.

Speaker 13 I know. He starts yelling and then he's

Speaker 13 done.

Speaker 14 I offer a 30-minute complimentary podcast. I will not try and sell you anything.

Speaker 14 I will add no value to your life whatsoever.

Speaker 15 You will have to listen to commercials.

Speaker 16 Get in my calendar.

Speaker 71 A 30-minute conversation for free where you're not going to try and sell me anything.

Speaker 11 You're adding value.

Speaker 59 You're a sales consultant.

Speaker 75 What else are you going to do on that 30-minute phone call?

Speaker 51 You're going to try and sell me nothing?

Speaker 92 Really?

Speaker 83 Is that the truth?

Speaker 106 I don't believe it.

Speaker 77 This is why this guy rings a little bit insincere.

Speaker 56 Let's not mention the shtick that he's got.

Speaker 76 And I listen, everybody's got a shtick online.

Speaker 93 We got a shtick on this show.

Speaker 109 Doesn't work very well.

Speaker 45 I was going to say, I wonder if his does either.

Speaker 32 But here's his shtick:

Speaker 47 his shtick is: let me yell at you so I get your attention right off the geek right off the rip.

Speaker 21 Let me yell at you and then kindly tell you where to go to use my products and services.

Speaker 59 I am a sales consultant.

Speaker 29 I will add massive value to your life, but I'm not being honest with you right from the moment that I meet you on that, which is, I am going to sell you something.

Speaker 47 I do want your money.

Speaker 73 I need your money.

Speaker 32 And that's where Brian Tracy would tell this guy he's wrong.

Speaker 62 He should say, he should say,

Speaker 14 I need your money to change out my tie-dye poster.

Speaker 7 Get on my calendar.

Speaker 14 I offer a 30-minute

Speaker 14 pressure-filled phone call to use my services.

Speaker 83 Get on my calendar.

Speaker 114 Yeah, he should be up front. He should be up front.

Speaker 39 He did in the other one. He said it was $300 to get that.

Speaker 70 That's right.

Speaker 87 Well, that's what I like. I like to know what I'm getting myself into.

Speaker 74 $300 right off the get.

Speaker 54 There you go.

Speaker 59 You know, our friend Allison Hare,

Speaker 21 who should be credited to some degree with getting the commercial break its legs, its original legs.

Speaker 36 What I mean by that is that Astrid encouraged me to do a podcast, if you want to call it, like a video vlog show

Speaker 37 on YouTube.

Speaker 8 I didn't love that.

Speaker 87 I didn't love looking at myself in the camera.

Speaker 47 I didn't like being in camera.

Speaker 36 And then Astrid said, well, you should do a podcast.

Speaker 31 But a couple of months later, it wasn't until a couple of months later when Allison Hare, who had been doing a podcast for about six or seven months before we started, put together a like a group of people, like a launch program, where she would teach you all the things you needed to know about starting

Speaker 68 naming.

Speaker 12 It was like a little incubator.

Speaker 92 Yeah, like a little incubator.

Speaker 77 And then all the technical aspects about getting the podcast out the door.

Speaker 66 I joined that.

Speaker 78 It was like six weeks long.

Speaker 21 I faithfully attended. I did the homework.

Speaker 77 I did the things.

Speaker 55 We worked as a group together to encourage each other.

Speaker 78 And then out of that comes the commercial break that you hear now, right?

Speaker 55 Or this version of the commercial break.

Speaker 32 Allison still does that.

Speaker 47 She's still out there doing podcast launching and podcast coaches and podcast incubators and all of that.

Speaker 35 As a matter of fact, that's what she does now, right?

Speaker 76 Full time.

Speaker 98 What I like about Allison when she puts together a whatever, a podcast about her podcast launch program, a real, a whatever, is that she adds the value right there.

Speaker 62 She tells you

Speaker 104 how, or excuse me, she tells you why and she tells you what, and then she asks you to join her for the how part of it, which I think is the best way to do that.

Speaker 74 Tell somebody, I'm going to charge you for my valuable knowledge, but here's a little tidbit so that you can understand whether or not this is the right service or program for you.

Speaker 48 If our friend here,

Speaker 78 Hugh Hackman, would in fact start off with that, give us a little nugget of information, a little tidbit of information, something we could sink our teeth into beforehand, then I think I would trust him that if I was in the market for a sales consultant, that would be good.

Speaker 36 Again, I don't know who needs his services.

Speaker 32 What are you selling if this is it?

Speaker 52 Door-to-door Bible sales?

Speaker 39 Yeah, I mean, there's so many types of sales.

Speaker 11 It's true.

Speaker 4 It's really true.

Speaker 38 I have a friend who's selling

Speaker 4 solar panels right now, and he is the perfect guy. He is the perfect guy for solar panel sales.

Speaker 54 You know,

Speaker 47 who's the guy in Fast Times at Ridgemount High?

Speaker 51 The Sean Penn player.

Speaker 40 Right.

Speaker 68 Whatever his name is.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 69 They call him Bender.

Speaker 95 Is it Bender? No.

Speaker 82 Okay.

Speaker 35 Don't know his name.

Speaker 65 Kakowski or something.

Speaker 39 No, no.

Speaker 92 No, it starts with a P.

Speaker 106 Pa.

Speaker 65 Yeah, look it up.

Speaker 7 We got to look it up.

Speaker 21 People are yelling. By the way, we're going to get seven text messages.

Speaker 28 You know what I love about you, the audience, the listeners?

Speaker 35 Do you know what I love about you? I'm going to share this with you right now.

Speaker 83 And I love, love, love this.

Speaker 87 And Allison is one of these people.

Speaker 36 When you're listening to our show and Chrissy and I get stuck in a moment,

Speaker 98 spicoli, spicoli.

Speaker 36 When we are in a moment like this and we're stuck or we're saying something wrong or we can't get it right or we don't remember the name or whatever it is, you, the listener, will stream of consciousness text us the answer while you're listening as if we were right here waiting for the answer from you.

Speaker 32 Like it was live.

Speaker 44 I love it.

Speaker 79 I love it.

Speaker 47 It makes me laugh every time I get such a kick out of it.

Speaker 36 And it happens more than I'd like to admit.

Speaker 55 People, because sometimes I'll pick up the phone.

Speaker 21 and it'll be like,

Speaker 36 Bill Murray wasn't in Ghostbusters 2 or Bruce Willis started moonlighting because of this.

Speaker 46 And I'll look at the phone and I'll go, well, that's a weird text message to get.

Speaker 4 And then I'll have to remember.

Speaker 11 Oh, yeah, we talked about it.

Speaker 60 You and I were struggling to remember the answer to this.

Speaker 91 And they were listening to the episode and texted us in that moment.

Speaker 4 Do that more often because it really makes me happy very much.

Speaker 35 So Spiccoli is this character in Fast Times at Ridgemount High.

Speaker 87 And my friend.

Speaker 90 is Spikoli from Fast Times at Ridgemount High.

Speaker 74 That's who he is.

Speaker 90 He is the exact same personality.

Speaker 38 Stoned and everything.

Speaker 42 He is the perfect guy to go out and give sell you solar panels because mainly because he's not the one actually attaching them to your roof.

Speaker 94 But then additionally, he just, he knows his shit, but he's got this like weird way of selling it.

Speaker 91 Like he's the kind of guy you would crunchy dude that you would expect to be selling you solar panels.

Speaker 31 He has no sales technique whatsoever except to show up at your door and befriend you and then explain to you why you need solar panels.

Speaker 39 God, who's still going door to door? That's, that's kind of dangerous now.

Speaker 32 I totally agree with you, especially when you're doing something as divisive as saving the earth with solar panels.

Speaker 20 I mean, it really is.

Speaker 74 I had a door-to-dair Bible salesman.

Speaker 104 The new door-to-door vacuum cleaner is the roof people, and they are ballsy.

Speaker 32 They come to our house once every other week.

Speaker 51 Somebody knocks on our door. Really?

Speaker 109 I can get you a new free roof with your insurance company.

Speaker 60 Your roof needs to be replaced.

Speaker 109 I can do it tomorrow.

Speaker 38 I've got a crew on standby.

Speaker 76 I was driving by.

Speaker 104 I mean, they're ballsy, and they won't stop ringing your doorbell.

Speaker 69 If they see a car out front, they just keep ringing the doorbell.

Speaker 30 Wow.

Speaker 21 They're so desperate to sell me a roof and I don't need a roof.

Speaker 76 I just replaced a roof like nine years ago.

Speaker 96 I don't need a new roof.

Speaker 47 I imagine I get 20 years out of it.

Speaker 30 They're so desperate to sell it and they have zero sales.

Speaker 32 Maybe they are the ones who need this guy.

Speaker 62 Maybe.

Speaker 30 Because it's just, they just approach it all wrong.

Speaker 60 Did you know your roof needs to be replaced?

Speaker 35 I don't think it does.

Speaker 47 I just replaced it nine years ago.

Speaker 62 Oh, who replaced it? What does it matter who replaced it?

Speaker 17 Right. They're going to knock it off.
off.

Speaker 24 Yes, my buddy Jose replaced.

Speaker 73 What do you need to know? I don't know. Why does it matter?

Speaker 37 Because if you didn't replace it, because if they didn't use the, you know, the potty technique, the potty technique, what's that?

Speaker 87 Overlapping, underlapping, overlapping below, under, you know, whatever, then you're going to have damage on your, you know, the under your roofing.

Speaker 4 And I don't see any water in my house.

Speaker 63 Oh, you don't? No.

Speaker 95 Oh, well, you will.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 36 Let's scare me into a new roof.

Speaker 11 Oh, it's good.

Speaker 12 Sounds great. Yeah, sign me up.

Speaker 23 Meanwhile, I got Pizza Hut.

Speaker 36 I got my, I got one of my kids is drinking bleach right now because she thinks that's soda pop.

Speaker 75 Can I let you go? Is that all right?

Speaker 52 One of my 13 children is currently setting the house on fire while you're trying to scare me into a new roof.

Speaker 24 Do you mind if I go? Is that okay?

Speaker 79 Anyway, those are the people that need this guy's help.

Speaker 21 I think that's because, you know, he also has a reel that I didn't collect, but he's got a reel

Speaker 4 where he says,

Speaker 14 all y'all in my comments talking about what an idiot I am. Meanwhile, I sold, I made $453,000 today alone.

Speaker 11 And it's like, oh, you did.

Speaker 11 With the tie-dye poster or without the tie-dye poster and the Zoom phone call.

Speaker 46 I'm not knocking him. He's out there.
He's doing it.

Speaker 47 Anybody who's hustling for a living gets my respect.

Speaker 77 That's all I got to say.

Speaker 35 However, that is the voice.

Speaker 14 That is 530.

Speaker 88 That guy.

Speaker 21 That is that guy. That is his voice.

Speaker 47 And I just wanted you to hear it.

Speaker 39 I would like for those two to talk to each other and see that. Oh, God.

Speaker 4 My mom doesn't even remember who he was.

Speaker 36 And we suspect maybe he wasn't anybody.

Speaker 71 He was just a dude who was there visiting or came in off the streets.

Speaker 42 I mean, there is absolutely no security in that place.

Speaker 47 People could just be walking in and out, taking packages, eating free ice creams, sitting down for dinner.

Speaker 21 There's nobody checking anything there.

Speaker 46 I mean, I think they pretty much think that like, you know, it's older folks.

Speaker 21 So what could possibly go wrong?

Speaker 65 But a lot could go wrong, actually.

Speaker 46 Yeah, Yeah, 5:30 dude could be in there just, you know,

Speaker 101 rampaging.

Speaker 37 He could be having sex with all the women.

Speaker 17 I mean, you never know. I know.

Speaker 39 Yeah, those places, you really can just come in and out.

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 39 There's like a guest book that I remember I had to sign for my grandfather's, but like, if you don't sign it, half the time no one was there.

Speaker 20 Yeah, if you don't, that's right.

Speaker 32 If you don't, if there's no guest book at my mom's place, it literally the doors just swing open.

Speaker 26 Now they lock at 9:30.

Speaker 14 They do at 9:30.

Speaker 21 But first of all, who decided 9:30 was the time when bad guys come?

Speaker 88 Do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 11 Like, couldn't they come at 5.30?

Speaker 40 They didn't come any time.

Speaker 11 They could come at 4.15.

Speaker 92 Yeah, 9.30.

Speaker 90 Like, that's a magical hour that nothing bad happens after, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 71 Nothing bad happens before 9.30.

Speaker 90 Unless my parents were right, that nothing good happens before after 10 o'clock. That's true.

Speaker 4 Well, you know what? That ended up being true.

Speaker 16 So I'm just letting you know that.

Speaker 29 Chrissy doesn't even go to bed till 1 in the morning.

Speaker 16 Nope. Nope.

Speaker 7 All right. We'll be back.
We'll be back.

Speaker 112 Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple.
Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Speaker 112 Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too?

Speaker 75 You know you do.

Speaker 112 Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3 TCB. That's 212-433-3822.
You can be on the show too.

Speaker 112 Just call and say something. Anything.
Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise.
Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker.

Speaker 112 It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point.

Speaker 112 Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com/slash thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.

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Speaker 16 well well okay

Speaker 102 no skin off my back

Speaker 4 you know the clickbaity yeah on the border is not the worst it's food ever no it's not there's one right there at linux we were talking about the

Speaker 41 uh the all these like clickbaity articles you know

Speaker 73 massive food chain restaurant chain closes and then you it's the tejas which is in arizona exactly all right in new mexico But on the backs of that, we're just reading the breaking news that Phil McGraw's TV network, that was the anti-woke network that was going to stop the disease and pestilence coming through your television with woke networks in your children's faces all the time, that basically just played Dr.

Speaker 86 Phil shows on reruns.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 46 You know, because that's what my children should be watching.

Speaker 46 It's bankrupt. And I didn't know that it was being distributed by TVN.

Speaker 7 Trinity.

Speaker 47 Trinity Broadcasting Network, which, of course,

Speaker 32 is a megachurch offshoot.

Speaker 67 It's a Christian broadcasting network.

Speaker 62 Wow, did Dr.

Speaker 90 Phil take a left-hand turn at Albuquerque?

Speaker 82 Yeah, he did.

Speaker 92 He really did.

Speaker 29 I mean, there was a time when I think we all agreed Dr.

Speaker 42 Phil was bringing straight talk.

Speaker 12 Straight talk.

Speaker 56 This is going to be a changing day in your life.

Speaker 71 I want you to make friends with my friends at The Commercial Break.

Speaker 52 Now, they paid us a lot of money to say these things, but you can go to youtube.com/slash the commercial break if you want to watch, And they fuck ghosts.

Speaker 84 And talk to aliens.

Speaker 4 And talk to aliens.

Speaker 71 And generally have potty mouse.

Speaker 11 They are woke.

Speaker 7 Yes, we are, Dr. Phil.

Speaker 82 Yeah, Dr.

Speaker 65 Phil.

Speaker 46 So I used to have...

Speaker 27 I don't think I have it in here anymore, but I used to have the Dr.

Speaker 93 Phil.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah, you had that in here.

Speaker 82 Yeah, I had it in there for a while.

Speaker 53 All right.

Speaker 46 Okay, a couple more things I wanted to get to.

Speaker 35 Last week, I forgot to talk about mystery.

Speaker 77 I teed up that I was going to talk about mystery in his new boot camps. I'll get to that in one second.

Speaker 47 But another thing that I found interesting online I wanted to share with you.

Speaker 61 Did you know you now can roll your dead ones around town and have mobile viewing services?

Speaker 34 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 95 Yes.

Speaker 32 There is some wild shit happening in the

Speaker 4 funeral industry.

Speaker 38 One of the guys who got us on the Clubhouse, who started on what was called Club Pod at the time, or what he was calling the largest podcast-related social audio club in the world, world because it was the only podcast-related social audio club in the world.

Speaker 32 One of the guys who started that, not going to name him, he also owned Podcast Magazine.

Speaker 60 He left the podcast industry, left us all high and dry, just took off one day.

Speaker 47 I think because everyone started to understand he probably wasn't all that he claimed to be.

Speaker 76 He didn't have podcasts.

Speaker 67 I mean, he didn't even have a podcast.

Speaker 47 And Podcast Magazine, no one was asking for a magazine about podcasting, nor were we asking for the Casey Kasim-style top 100 podcasts that you could basically game by just putting, submitting your name over and over again.

Speaker 48 Anyway, he left to start a funeral home.

Speaker 82 Really? Yes.

Speaker 36 And now I recently saw that he left the funeral business to be a DJ.

Speaker 52 The guy's 62 years old.

Speaker 8 I mean, he's this is the goofiest motherfucker I've ever met in my entire life.

Speaker 21 Don't knock the hustle. He's hustling.
And listen, I've had a lot of jobs too.

Speaker 75 You know, I've changed industry

Speaker 62 a lot.

Speaker 82 I was working in commercial real estate before I had a podcast, a comedy podcast, nonetheless.

Speaker 66 But this funeral home industry is wild.

Speaker 32 And when he was doing videos about his funeral home, that was wild.

Speaker 55 Then I've seen that in the African-American community, in the black community, it's becoming very popular to pose your loved ones the way that they used to be.

Speaker 33 I saw that.

Speaker 21 To be like they are alive during the wake, during the services.

Speaker 38 So I have seen some crazy shit.

Speaker 32 Like a guy on a motorcycle, eyes wide open.

Speaker 40 You showed me that.

Speaker 92 Yeah.

Speaker 44 And then I've seen guy sitting next to his TV with a, with his beer in his hand and smoking a cigarette.

Speaker 55 The cigarette literally smoking.

Speaker 32 Like they made it smoke.

Speaker 41 They made the cigarette smoke.

Speaker 32 Yes, they lit it.

Speaker 77 It was smoking.

Speaker 62 There's just the nuttiest stuff you've ever seen.

Speaker 83 Guy who loved to play football in a football pose.

Speaker 30 It's his real body.

Speaker 75 They stuck a bunch of sticks in it to make him look that way.

Speaker 36 It's like they Disney-fied.

Speaker 40 They taxidermied him.

Speaker 11 They taxidermied him.

Speaker 20 It's insane.

Speaker 11 It's insane.

Speaker 75 Well, now we've taken this all to new levels.

Speaker 22 At a new level.

Speaker 36 At a new level, as as you can

Speaker 4 throw her old bones on in there and roll her around town.

Speaker 87 Let everyone see her in a mobile viewing cart.

Speaker 73 In a van.

Speaker 11 In a van.

Speaker 36 Let's take a listen to this commercial for the mobile viewing services.

Speaker 105 Today is one of our mobile viewing services. We just loaded the decedent and all of the equipment to prepare us for the service.

Speaker 34 A lot of Whitney Houston's miss you like crazy.

Speaker 12 Like wind beneath my wings.

Speaker 41 No, no, it's miss you like crazy.

Speaker 7 Miss you like crazy.

Speaker 107 I miss you like crazy.

Speaker 44 But the elevator version, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 92 Meanwhile, we just loaded the decedent.

Speaker 85 We just loaded the decedent.

Speaker 105 Families shoot our mobile fueling service due to religious restrictions, funeral phobias,

Speaker 105 financial hardships.

Speaker 75 Funeral phobias and financial hardships.

Speaker 12 How much does this cost? Yeah, amen.

Speaker 54 First of all, second of all, if you have a phobia of funerals, what do you have of a dead person rolling up onto your front lawn?

Speaker 72 Showing up in your garage.

Speaker 115 They're in my carport now.

Speaker 34 They're literally brought up. We brought them to you.
Yeah, we brought the fear to you.

Speaker 11 Congratulations.

Speaker 12 Did you see, too, it had like a case of water?

Speaker 91 Yes, well, wait.

Speaker 26 Hold on. It gets much better.

Speaker 11 Like a little rug.

Speaker 26 Yeah, this is the most normal part of this commercial. Hold on.

Speaker 105 And here we are. Right into the location in which the family had chosen and that we have approved upon.

Speaker 79 Yeah, there needs to be approval

Speaker 16 to approve the location.

Speaker 7 Arriving,

Speaker 105 we begin to park the vehicle.

Speaker 39 Make a trial with a Mercedes Sprinter van.

Speaker 60 Yeah, hey, listen, those Mercedes Sprinter vans, they're not cheap and they're really cool.

Speaker 67 Astrid and I have talked about getting one if this podcast ever makes any money.

Speaker 105 Scene is safe.

Speaker 7 Here you have it. We're pulling up the film.

Speaker 11 What if on the way you're involved in a wreck?

Speaker 65 Yeah, what happens if someone dies?

Speaker 26 What happens if someone dies while you're showing dead people?

Speaker 105 This is our final setup. Since it's a little hot today, we made sure that the families are,

Speaker 40 well, hydrated along with our.

Speaker 39 They just pulled up outside of

Speaker 39 a cemetery.

Speaker 35 Yes, they just pulled up outside of a cemetery.

Speaker 75 Well, I guess it's a short drive to throw them down in the ground, I guess.

Speaker 105 We make sure that the area is

Speaker 34 safe.

Speaker 7 Oh, my God.

Speaker 34 They have a TV in the back, playing doves flying through the air.

Speaker 7 Meanwhile, the dent is hot.

Speaker 85 I can only imagine the smell in there.

Speaker 7 They have water outside.

Speaker 34 They put a picnic table outside of the water.

Speaker 7 I'm so confused. I am too.

Speaker 11 Just take him to the cemetery.

Speaker 40 Just go ahead and do graves though.

Speaker 17 Yeah, just go ahead and

Speaker 79 roll his old bones on there.

Speaker 105 This is our final setup.

Speaker 41 It looks like a bachelorette.

Speaker 7 A bachelorette party bus.

Speaker 12 Yeah, I bet they rent it out too.

Speaker 114 Yeah, you know they do.

Speaker 79 Yeah, Tuesday, Jerry was in here on

Speaker 7 Friday.

Speaker 85 We're going to the strip club.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Oh,

Speaker 7 open casket.

Speaker 4 Yeah, open casket at 90 degrees.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 75 It's hot enough to be passing out cold water, but it's just just fine for open caskets.

Speaker 105 And this vehicle was not bought. This vehicle was built by my husband.

Speaker 53 This vehicle was not bought.

Speaker 82 Of course it was bought. What are you talking about?

Speaker 72 It was built by the husband. Still got the party seats in the back.

Speaker 105 And the family is also in the lights.

Speaker 40 You got like the colored lights.

Speaker 43 The colored lighting. Yeah, that's...

Speaker 29 I got that in

Speaker 29 one of my cars, too.

Speaker 105 Alongside of their loved one with a comfort snack three.

Speaker 1 A couple of snacks.

Speaker 11 Oh, yeah, snacks.

Speaker 84 Are you hungry? Yeah.

Speaker 37 Hey, you want some lays?

Speaker 91 Yeah, that's what they've got. Little baggies.

Speaker 4 Now, you have to imagine it's a sprinter van, a black Mercedes sprinter van, door wide open, casket in the back, casket open,

Speaker 89 and then a picnic table with a black tablecloth on top of it.

Speaker 35 And there's some Lays and some water in like buckets you buy at Walmart.

Speaker 23 Listen, before you go see Jerry, would you like some Cheetos

Speaker 11 and a sprite?

Speaker 12 I know I'm picturing people like munching their chips as they're looking.

Speaker 37 I love Jerry, but these Cheetos are really good.

Speaker 24 Can you roll this van over to my house and be done?

Speaker 7 I'm hungry.

Speaker 105 Of course we have to always

Speaker 72 a girl just popped out of the bottom.

Speaker 82 She's wearing a t-shirt.

Speaker 105 And look who came to help. So Kylie is serving today.

Speaker 105 Because of the heat, we made her dress.

Speaker 7 accordingly.

Speaker 53 We made her dress in her stitch outfit.

Speaker 71 Well, those were like plastic gloves, but so you know for food safety, but obviously they didn't buy them in child size, so they'd look like Mickey Mouse gloves.

Speaker 11 I mean, it's all just like kind of crazy.

Speaker 105 The cemetery where the decedent will be laid to rest. This is our mobile viewing service.

Speaker 61 I mean, I

Speaker 32 hate to knock it, but I also, because I imagine that a lot of people use it.

Speaker 87 Do you know what I'm saying? I got to imagine that people, listen, they wouldn't have spent all that money on that van unless they did.

Speaker 21 All right. So if you need to.

Speaker 39 I guess, sure, hold on, because I guess you're taking away the funeral home. You're just, it's just mo, the home.
Your funeral home is mobile.

Speaker 58 The funeral home is mobile.

Speaker 97 So when she says because of financial constraints, she's really talking about her own financial constraints.

Speaker 26 I don't have a building to put your loved one in.

Speaker 20 But hey, listen.

Speaker 44 Necessity is the mother of invention.

Speaker 29 Somebody wanted this. That's true.

Speaker 47 And now this is probably popular in multiple places.

Speaker 73 And maybe it is convenient.

Speaker 38 I don't know.

Speaker 46 I guess that doesn't really matter where you view someone.

Speaker 66 I'm probably not.

Speaker 4 I would rather do it in a funeral home, but you know, that's not me.

Speaker 67 All right.

Speaker 41 I was talking about Mystery last week.

Speaker 47 Before we go, I was talking about Mystery last week. He's got a boot camp.

Speaker 38 He's on the move. He's doing things.

Speaker 87 You know,

Speaker 60 I've been paying attention to these boot camps as they move across the world, which basically sounds like they rent

Speaker 21 Airbnb and then they spend three or four days with three or four guys who are willing to pay five or six thousand dollars apiece to spend time with Mystery.

Speaker 99 Pick up girls, yeah.

Speaker 57 But I don't even think they get.

Speaker 44 I've listened to reviews about this and watch videos.

Speaker 55 A lot of times, they don't even get to the picking up girls part, they just hang out with Mystery and his friends for a couple of days.

Speaker 94 I think what it is,

Speaker 78 it's about connection.

Speaker 55 I think that people are willing to pay for connection, it doesn't matter if it's female or not.

Speaker 21 Anyway, Mystery, we'll get to that next week because it's a little bit more of an in-depth video about the boot camps.

Speaker 35 But I did want to share this, we got a little bit of time.

Speaker 47 Mystery recently was on a podcast or something, and they're talking about what should be the first or second date.

Speaker 44 Where should you go? What should you do?

Speaker 28 So let's listen to Mystery's answer.

Speaker 3 Here we go.

Speaker 1 I avoid the coffee date.

Speaker 108 I hate coffee date.

Speaker 118 We learned it the hard way.

Speaker 73 It makes me shit.

Speaker 22 Avoid the coffee.

Speaker 92 Look how old he looks.

Speaker 36 He's like 62 years old.

Speaker 7 He looks flavor.

Speaker 97 Yeah, flavor saver still.

Speaker 42 Still that stringy long hair.

Speaker 119 It doesn't work.

Speaker 118 It's to me against her. She's on the other side of the table at the coffee shop.

Speaker 82 Me against her.

Speaker 102 Well, what are you supposed to be

Speaker 77 at a table? Are you playing Dungeons and Dragons?

Speaker 4 What are we doing?

Speaker 79 Yeah.

Speaker 97 You go to a coffee day.

Speaker 92 That sounds pretty ambiguous.

Speaker 7 Yeah. I don't like it.

Speaker 40 But at a table, any kind of table, even if you're in a regular restaurant.

Speaker 4 Just sit in a booth. Sit on top of her.

Speaker 56 Ask her to sit on your lap.

Speaker 33 That way.

Speaker 88 It's you and her against somebody else.

Speaker 119 Set up.

Speaker 118 It's not conducive to pickup. Instead, I would invite them to tag along with some chores I have to do.

Speaker 39 Nothing says first date like, I've got to run some errands. Yeah, nothing says.

Speaker 7 I wonder if you would come along.

Speaker 11 Tag along.

Speaker 23 Nothing says first date.

Speaker 13 Like, I got to get my carbuncles shaved off at the

Speaker 89 pediatric podiatrist.

Speaker 11 You want to come along?

Speaker 119 Got to do some banking.

Speaker 11 I got to do some banking.

Speaker 7 Some banking.

Speaker 103 I got to do some banking.

Speaker 39 Why don't you come with me?

Speaker 45 My account's 300 in the negative.

Speaker 11 Do you have 100 I could borrow?

Speaker 101 Yeah, bring your checkbook.

Speaker 11 I got to do some banking.

Speaker 103 Some banking?

Speaker 11 Who does banking anymore?

Speaker 118 Got to pick up headshots.

Speaker 85 I got to pick up headshots.

Speaker 65 Okay. All right.

Speaker 118 Pick up my new boots. Why don't you come tag along with me?

Speaker 82 Maybe.

Speaker 11 You got to pick up my new boots.

Speaker 45 I feel like these are chores he actually has to do.

Speaker 114 Then they are.

Speaker 118 Got some chores you you want to take care of too you got some banking we can get it all done together

Speaker 79 you want to go you want to go dutch on banking or picking up my boots or my headshots you want to go on a double banking i still owe the photographer 500 you want to go double dutch

Speaker 11 hopscotch on that hop scotch

Speaker 118 you want to go hop scotch on banking fun day two you know just hang out rather than putting the dating frame on top of it it feels too formal Yeah, he's giving advice that's going to get no one laid ever.

Speaker 35 No, I mean, honestly, dude, I got to be, you don't invite someone to go do banking with you

Speaker 53 until you're married, okay?

Speaker 72 That's probably the best thing to do.

Speaker 7 Even then, yeah, who's doing the banking?

Speaker 31 No one's doing banking.

Speaker 53 Do it on your phone.

Speaker 28 If you still have to do banking, you're banking at the wrong bank. Do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 7 Oh,

Speaker 85 howdy, do.

Speaker 31 Well, I will say it's an interesting world out there.

Speaker 43 We've covered a lot today.

Speaker 39 Maybe this might need to be a new segment, though, is like weird Instagram.

Speaker 22 That's what I'm doing.

Speaker 44 I've been collecting them, and so I figured out how I can, like, there's enough pull Instagram reels.

Speaker 28 Because before I was just able to talk about them, maybe play the audio for them, but now I can pull them down and we can watch them.

Speaker 28 And you can see them on youtube.com slash the commercial break, but not on Dr.

Speaker 25 Phil's network anymore.

Speaker 28 No, I don't even know if he does a podcast anymore.

Speaker 27 He used to have a pretty popular podcast.

Speaker 31 Yeah, but you know what this is?

Speaker 28 This is a restructuring. Dr.

Speaker 46 Phil will be back.

Speaker 77 Don't cry.

Speaker 56 Don't sing.

Speaker 46 Don't sing such a sad song for Dr.

Speaker 28 Phil.

Speaker 39 Yeah, he's not going away.

Speaker 28 No, he's a billionaire. That guy's a billionaire.

Speaker 31 And like all other billionaires, that means he's bending the knee.

Speaker 18 He's bending the knee. Oh, Lord, what are we going to do?

Speaker 31 You know, I was thinking about we need to get that South Georgia Sean down there to that Gator Traz or whatever it is and get him to start collecting those gators around there

Speaker 32 and let those poor folks out.

Speaker 31 What, I mean, unbelievable.

Speaker 103 We're punishing people by putting them in a serpentine-soaked Everglades.

Speaker 40 Dr. Phil does still have a podcast I'm looking at.

Speaker 22 Oh, he does?

Speaker 45 Uh-huh. What's it called?

Speaker 39 It's called the Dr.

Speaker 105 Phil Podcast.

Speaker 16 Okay.

Speaker 39 And the last episode was Beyonce Wore a Shirt. The Internet Lost Its Mind.
The Real Story with Dr. Phil.

Speaker 41 Oh, it's probably, she's probably a Satanist.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 101 Oh, my God.

Speaker 70 Oh, Dr.

Speaker 41 Phil.

Speaker 43 I'm mad I ever paid the guy to anything.

Speaker 46 You know?

Speaker 32 I'm mad. But this is before we knew.

Speaker 11 None of us knew.

Speaker 19 He was just a shitty

Speaker 47 daytime television guy when we did that.

Speaker 41 He was like one of our first host read ads that we did.

Speaker 31 Anyway, 212-433-3 TCB, 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas, we take them all right there at that phone number.
Do text us.

Speaker 25 We'd love to talk to you at the Commercial Break on Instagram.

Speaker 56 Thank you for subscribing. Keep doing it.

Speaker 25 YouTube.com slash thecommercial break for all the episodes on video.

Speaker 31 Same day they air here on the audio.

Speaker 34 And tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker.

Speaker 31 Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

Speaker 92 I think so. I'll tell you that I love you.

Speaker 103 I love you. Best to you.
Best to you.

Speaker 25 The best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Speaker 31 Until next time, Chrissy, and I will say, we do say, we must say, goodbye.

Speaker 117 It's the holidays, and my home is Command Central for all the family festivities, which would normally stress me out, but this year I've got Bob's discount furniture.

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Speaker 117 Not to mention, Bob's is great for gifting. Like, I can actually afford to surprise my kids with the bunk bed that they've been begging for.
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Speaker 117 I might even treat myself with a Consumer Reports recommended mattress and sleep until the new year. For happy hosting and great gifting, Holiday the Bob's Way at Bob's Discount Furniture.

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