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It's 10 o'clock a.m.

on a Saturday morning, and you know what it's time for.

It's time for Polka Till It Hurts with me, your host, Siggy Zelinski.

Hey, oh,

let's go.

You know, friends, you've joined at the exact right time.

We are here at Pierogi and Bay Peak Palace in the heart of downtown Clabapple, on the corner of 1st and 1st Street.

You gotta come on down, you gotta join us.

We got the clowns for the little Pokemonstasters Pilsner is flowing for all of our adult friends, and the Polish pain pit and dungeon for all the nipple twisting, daintising, and the bondage you can handle.

Upstairs for your polka party downstairs for your ping-a-pang.

That while you're here, you must say happy birthday to our favorite mistress in the entire world.

It's a tattoo dina.

Happy birthday, Tato Dina.

Happy birthday to you.

Take it away, boys.

She flies in the door like a dragon on fire.

Her hair in the breeze, a bird on a wire.

She tickles the taint of a dolphin in heat.

She carries her whip so sassy sweet.

She'll eat you alive, she'll grind your insides.

You'll know when you have seen her.

She's a lovely surprise with razors for eyes.

She's the tattoo Tina.

She twirls in her boots with a grin and a wink, spinning like a topskin drenched in ink.

Her smile cuts deeps, she won't take no shit.

With soft, subtle jabs and a sharp sense of wit, she'll eat you alive, she'll grind your incise.

You'll know when you have seen her.

She's a lovely surprise with razors for eyes.

She's the tattoo Tina.

She'll eat you alive, she'll grind your insides.

You'll know when you have seen her.

She's a lovely surprise with razors for eyes.

She's the tattoo Tina.

Yes, she's the tattoo Tina.

So So happy birthday, Tina

Said,

but

it took to dip to

the tiny to do that did it to

do to deal

on this episode of the commercial break,

he's jumping off a car into one inch of water.

That's a back waiting to be broken.

On his back, that is a back waiting to be broken.

That is mommy and daddy's insurance getting kicked off.

Yeah,

no wonder they shut that shit down.

This is why you will never find Brian's American Express, if I ever have one.

You'll never find Brian's American Express paying for my kids' Bonaroo tickets because this is how they start acting.

That guy is one second away from paralyzation.

Oh my god.

All right, let's see.

This dude has an update on Bob.

Friday the 13th.

It's 1.30, and we are undergoing heavy rain right now.

You don't undergo heavy rain, you undergo surgery.

I just want to let you know that.

I mean, honestly.

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Oh, yeah, cats and kittens.

Welcome back to the Commercial Break.

I'm Brian Green.

This is my my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chrissy Joy Holy.

Best to you, Chrissy.

Best to you, Brian.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

How the hell are you?

If you're anything like Atlanta, you are soaked from the heads to the toes because it doesn't stop raining.

32 out of the last 40 days, we have had rain.

Thank you, global warming.

Yes, sometimes downpours like twice in one day.

Yes.

I will say I...

Downpours and it's sunny.

It's sunny.

Downpours.

You should see it in the pool.

We're like running in, running out, running in, running out.

I just keep the kids under the like the little, you know, thing.

Overhang.

Overhang in my house because I say, give it 15 minutes.

It'll change.

But it pours.

When it rains, it fucking pours.

Like torrential.

But I do want to thank Global Warming because I have not once had to call the fire department to fill up my pool.

Last year, it didn't rain for like two months, and I was pouring water in that pool almost daily because it was so hot.

It was just evaporating.

My water bill was out of fucking control.

But we're not the only ones, Chrissy, who are seeing

torrential downpours everywhere all the time.

Bonnaroo 2025, which just happened this last weekend as we were recording this,

was canceled for the first time in its history because it became unsafe to be out there.

And I've been watching video after video.

This is tragedy porn, really.

I mean, is it really tragedy that you...

I didn't see Diplo at Bonnaroo.

Is it really tragedy?

It's not not really tragedy.

I don't think anyone died.

I think everyone is okay generally, but they did have to cancel after just one day of the festival.

They canceled the second day where they said there's not going to be performances.

Too dangerous to let people be walking around the campgrounds.

And Bonaroonians did what Bonaroonians do.

They got naked and ran around in the mud.

And then they all tried to pull their big-ass trucks out of the mud with little or no success.

I mean, it really is reminiscent of Woodstock, but it begs the the question and

this is really interesting and i don't know what you make of this or make anything of it if you if you want to jonathan myers one of the co-creators of bonnaroo just died days before this bonnaroo oh connection pause thanks for that um i'm gonna show some videos and now the connection pause we'll we'll go through the technical aspects of the show here in a minute um but jonathan myers uh passed away and he was one of the co-creators of the original bonnaroo music festival I think 18 of them went down under that original ownership group

before

he left and Live Nation bought the entire festival.

What I did know until reading the comments is that

the Bonnaroo Farm in Manchester, Tennessee, is a working farm the rest of the year.

Can that, could that possibly be true?

Yeah, I mean, I used to live close to there and I went to a lot of the Bonnaroos when I lived in Nashville.

Nashville and yeah it is it's a farm I don't know exactly what it farms yeah what are they farming old it's a huge like piece of land joint roaches and old percocet laying on the ground I mean what in the world could they be farming seeds of percocets ponchos and tall boy cans I mean I don't know what they could be farming the rest of the year I would imagine a festival like that really for a year you're working on the land to get it ready for the next year because that's no small like what's that big festival out in uh in london that they do every year

it's fail it's failing me now but well there's that glasgow glassenberry glastonbury yeah yeah glastonberry i saw like a flyover of that and that is the size of a like a medium-sized town here in the united states

tens of thousands of cars rvs support trucks stages tent camping grounds like that's huge I would imagine that's all that particular piece of land does, really.

So, I don't know what the Bonnaroo farm in Manchester is farming most of the year, but people were online complaining so hard.

And it's like,

I don't want to take away from the fact that your weekend was ruined, that you spent money that you're clearly going to get back, that a refund's going to be issued.

I don't want to take away from the fact that this really sucked for anybody that was there.

When you're really looking forward to something and it gets ruined, that's a shitty feeling.

It is.

It's a disappointment.

Have you looked outside your window lately?

Have you turned on any news channel in the last year?

There are lots of things to complain about, but this is not one of them.

People were like, they need to change the drainage.

Change the drainage.

They don't need to change.

You can't control the weather.

Change the drainage.

No, you can't.

That's a $50 million project to change the drainage to make sure the water rolls in your direction.

I mean, come on, guys.

Bonnaroo got ruined.

One time out of what?

27 of them?

Yeah, a lot of them.

That guy was 51 years old when he died.

2005?

I think so.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

It would have been 2000.

No.

Was it?

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I think this has been going on for 25 years.

I guess you might be right.

First.

Bonaru.

Yeah, I had to have...

2002.

Two.

June 21 through 22.

Yeah, because I had just moved to Nashville.

Widespread panic.

Ben Harper.

String cheese incident.

Trey Anastasia.

The dead.

Or what was then being was it called The Dead back then, or was it the family or something like that?

Who knows?

One of the little iterations.

Yeah, but 70,000 people showed up.

I remember hearing about it.

I owned Jamland Productions at the time, a rival festival company.

Rival promoter?

A rival promoter

in the same ilk of the same ilk.

I was promoting

Pete.

Well,

there was your big, your big event where you were carting around on the golf cart.

I was carting around.

Oh, my God.

Now I can't remember.

Oh, there's still around.

Gomez or something around.

Sona Gomez.

Gomez.

Can you imagine?

Gomez on my cart.

Gomez.

No, they're starts with a P.

P.

Groove.

Perpetual Groove.

Sorry.

I like them.

They're good.

They are good.

Yeah, they're good.

But yes, I was carting around P Groove, offering them lines out of my very wet cocaine.

They bought the entire keg.

Guy showed up, and I think he owned a liquor store in town or something.

And he donated one keg.

And then everybody started buying the beer.

I think it was sweetwater, actually.

It might have been sweetwater that was up there.

And then the guy from P Groove said, can I buy one of those pony cakes?

And he bought a pony cake and we put it on the back of the cart and we were driving around

high on everything.

I'm picturing a name.

Oh, it was so good.

It was so good.

Anyway, you know, that was a that happened in 2000, long before Bonnaroo came around.

It was done.

It was the prequel to Bonaroo.

They had 70,000.

We had 70.

52 of which were working for the festival.

52 of which got in free.

But it was a farm.

It was in the mountains.

We did have our, you know, a

stage.

And,

but yeah, Bonnaroo

has become quite the thing.

I mean, it is the mainstay of the festival community.

But it begs the question, has Bonnaroo kind of jumped the shark a little bit?

Listen, Bonnaroo is going to go on because Live Nation has the ability to continue to put it on.

One.

And here's a little surprise.

There's probably no surprise to anybody is that all of these events, including the small ones that I put on, pay a whole shit ton of money for something called event insurance.

And that includes weather.

And that weather insurance is the most expensive thing, probably,

besides, you know, maybe besides the actual like

minutiae of the festival, like the staging and the port-a-potties and stuff like that, the logistics.

Weather insurance is the most expensive thing that a festival creator or a festival producer will pay for because if you get washed out like that, you are out tens of millions or hundreds of millions of dollars in the case of Bonnaroo, and that's your one shot that year.

So don't feel bad for Live Nation.

They are getting every dime of what they could potentially make back.

As a matter of fact, here's a fun little story.

So Jamland Productions also put on something called the Aqua Blues Fest one time.

The Aqua Blues Fest was at a place, a restaurant called Aqua Blue, north of Atlanta.

Yeah, I remember that place.

Yeah.

And I worked there.

And the owners, two guys, they had heard that I was putting on these small little festivals.

And they said, so what are the economics of that?

And I quickly put together a PowerPoint presentation, high on cocaine, that indicated that you too could be a millionaire if you could just put on your own festival, which was not true at all.

But, you know, I want, I thought, because we would be in the city and we would have the power.

of this restaurant behind us, the power of the restaurant,

that we could do a one-day festival.

We could take over the entire parking lot, this huge parking lot.

We're talking the size of a super Walmart parking lot.

We could take it all over, and then we could put a stage in the corner, and we could put a bunch of vendors out there.

No problem.

That's how it all works.

And I estimated 10,000 people would show up.

And at the last minute,

I convinced the two guys who had fronted all of the money, which was like $25,000, a lot of cash.

I had convinced them to buy rain insurance like the week before event insurance.

And man, did it rain and it rained and it rained.

But the way that event insurance works, it's like this.

Sure, we'll give you all the potential money you could have made due to the rain, but here's the catch.

We have to take the measurement from the closest airport to your location, an official weather station at an airport.

And the airport that was close to us was 25 miles away from us.

And it did not rain not one lick.

So there you go.

All right.

Well, if you heard, there's a little weird

interlude in there.

It's because like all chaos broke,

all hell broke loose at the house.

Anyway, we were talking about Bonaroo, which Bonaroo, 2025 rained out.

I told you, I was telling you Aqua Blues Fest.

We got the insurance and we did never got the money because the amount of rain recorded at the airport was like 0.00001.

The amount of rain recorded at the local weather vein was one and a half inches.

So it just goes to show you location is everything, timing, timing, timing.

Listen, Bonner Roo got mudded out.

I am not poo-pooing on those who are disappointed.

I think you have every right in the world to be disappointed.

I would have been disappointed too.

Yeah, I mean, it's a safety issue, too, with trying to get all of those people out there there and then the conditions and the field and what people are going through yeah i mean it's safety do you recall here in atlanta tomorrow world i think is what it was called yes yes so we had this huge

i don't even know what to call it it's a private piece of land edm fest yeah it's an edm fest but the chattahoochee wherever the fuck it is yeah

the banks of the chattahoe yeah the banks of the chattahoochee river they thought was a great place to put an edm festival and it went off without a hitch for one year.

And then the next year, it rained like it did in Bonaroo.

And guess what?

Kids were walking like 22 miles to the next exit so that they could get, you know, food, water, gas, a telephone, whatever it was.

This was like a, this, this could have been really bad.

People could have been injured or died.

They waited for days for buses to come pick them up.

It was just terrible planning on behalf of everybody, and they got stuck for days.

So I think because of Tomorrow World and the situation that took place, they see Bonaroo and other festivals like this now see like a rain event.

Less like let's have fun in the mud kind of thing, which has been traditionally the way you handle rain.

Yeah, let's dance in the mud, bro.

Titan.

Show me your to-dance.

A reason for girls to take their tops off in the minds of every young man attending the festival, and more of a very

scary safety situation for those who are in charge of 75,000 people and their well-being because some of the dumb shit I saw people doing in the rain at Bonnaroo.

I mean, let's, I want to take a break, but real quick, let's see if we can take a look at one or two of these reels here.

You ready?

Yeah.

Okay, welcome to Disaster Roo.

I wonder why this is.

The roads were flooded.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, we're looking at some, we're looking at some reels.

very muddy

yeah very muddy holy i know it was like a river

disaster

oh my god

i love this sound by the way i love this song it's people like with their water up to their knees pulling their suitcases out of their tents people are pulling their suitcases out of their tents and there is holy shit That's no shit amount of water.

That's two or three feet.

Okay.

Oh, this is the guy.

Look.

He's jumping off a car into one inch of water.

That's a back waiting to be broken.

On his back.

That is a back waiting to be broken.

That is mommy and daddy's insurance getting kicked off.

Yeah.

No wonder they shut that shit down.

This is why you will never find Brian's American Express, if I ever have one.

You'll never find Brian's American Express paying for my kids' Bonaroo tickets because this is how they start acting.

That guy is one second away from paralyzation.

Oh my God.

Yeah, that's.

All right, Let's see.

This dude has an update on Ball.

Friday the 13th.

It's 1.30 and we are undergoing heavy rain right now.

You don't undergo heavy rain.

You undergo surgery.

I just want to let you know that.

I mean, honestly, where do these kids learn to talk?

Yeah, and there were thunderstorms and lightning and all of that.

You can't have that.

No.

Oh, wow.

3.49 p.m.

Three hours later, still torrential downpour.

Wow.

Yeah, that's.

They had to call it.

They had to call it.

They had to call it.

It's not, oh, Jesus Jones.

Now we're looking at a reel where there's a river running through the campground.

Wow.

If you're there at Bonnaroo, let us know, 212-433-3822.

I would love to hear your take on all of this.

But what prompted me to kind of get pissy about this was there was a young lady who did like a 30-minute long live that I watched.

And she was upset that they put, you know, My Little Pony and in this stage and the My Little Pony Sur Mix a lot, something.

I don't know, some band was on this stage and it wasn't safe.

And they should have put that band on this stage and it wasn't safe.

And they canceled.

And it was like,

I know everything's relative, but it just sounds a little tiny little bit petty.

Everyone got out alive.

That's the good news.

That is the main thing.

And there's always Bonnaroo next year.

There will always be a next year of Bonnaroo.

You want to know how I know that?

Because Live Nation owns it, and they're going to make sure there's a Bonnaroo next year.

You better fucking believe it.

The Bonnaroo's not going anywhere, kids.

Bonaroo will be around forever and ever.

There will be no human beings left on Earth.

And the CEO of Live Nation is going to be sending spaceships down to do Bonnaroo 2187.

I guarantee it.

They didn't pay $1 billion for that festival for it not to happen next year.

They're not going to put in drainage dips, though.

I have news for you.

That's a $50 million project.

They're not going to do that.

All right.

We'll be back.

Oh, look, I see a Percocet floating through the river.

Grab one for me, Chrissy.

Grab one.

You make this rather snappy, won't you, honestly?

I'd be thinking to do it before 10 o'clock.

Hi, cats and kittens.

Rachel here.

Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian?

Well, I've got just the place for you to do that.

212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

Feel free to call and yell all you want.

Tell Brian I need a race.

Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans.

Or tell us a little story.

The juicier, the better, by the way.

We'd love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves.

Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the Commercial Break on Insta, TCB Podcast on TikTok.

And for those of you who like to watch, oh, that came out wrong.

We put all the episodes out on video.

Youtube.com/slash thecommercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show.

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Or just to see how pretty we look.

Okay, I gotta go now.

I've got a date.

With my dog?

No, seriously, Axel needs food.

Today is pork chop day.

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You know, I was watching clips of Andy Cohen.

Watch what happens next live.

Watch what happens live, yeah.

Watch what happens live next.

Watch what happens next live.

Just watch what happens live.

Okay, all right, whatever it is.

I like it.

It's good.

When I happen to catch it, it's good.

It's really good.

They take 20 minutes, too, so it's nice and digestible.

Yeah, that is true.

It's very quick.

They're drunk usually, and Andy is a laugh a minute.

I do find Andy to be a laugh a minute.

I love him.

I think he's my favorite gay.

I got to be real about it.

He's my favorite gay.

And

Andy had on Bill Murray, who you and I went and saw, Bill Murray and the Blood Brothers and the Blood Blues, Blood Blues Brothers.

And we had a good time.

It was a great time.

Very talented musicians and Bill Murray.

Yes.

And I also saw that Bill and the Blood Blues Brothers, they played like an extraordinarily large festival crowd.

I mean, there must have been, I don't know, 50,000 people watching them play.

And he was posting on his Instagram.

So when I saw Bill was on Andy's show, I thought, oh, let me, let me stop and check it out for a minute, Chrissy.

And he told the most touching story.

You know who about?

Bruce Willis.

He said that Bruce Willis was a page.

at NBC when Saturday Night Live first started.

Wow.

He was an NBC page, which is like a legendary job that a lot of people who went on to become very famous in the comedy world and in acting started off as NBC pages.

It's a coveted job.

There's a whole fucking television show about it.

It's called 30 Rock.

I love this.

And that guy who plays that page, whatever his name is, he's a laugh a minute, too.

He is.

He reminds me of Marty Foucia.

Isn't he Marty Fusia?

Hey, you want to go to the Clemson game with me?

And he's from the South.

He is from the South.

I like potato salad.

Do you like potato salad, Brian?

I sure do, Marty Fusia.

My name's Marty Fusia.

He's my favorite.

So he's a page at NBC when Saturday Night Live is seeing its heyday.

Season one, two, three.

Whenever Bill came, Bill came season two, did he?

Season two or season three?

I don't know.

Anyway.

Around there.

Around there.

So he explains that.

Bruce's job at the time, it was his only job, was to be up at 30 Rock refilling M ⁇ Ms and pretzels.

That was it.

He just had to go in from dressing room to dressing room and make sure the accouchement, the coup d'eté tray of junk food was filled to the brim so that the stars could get, they could nosh in between funnies.

I don't know what I'm doing today.

They could nosh.

They could nosh in between funnies.

That seems like a good gig.

Seems like a great gig.

I'd love it.

And it's like a fast track to start them because you get to meet all these other famous people and you can hobnob.

And, you know, there's something, if you put NBC page on your resume, supposedly, it's kind of a door opener.

So Bill says that years later, when Bruce was becoming famous, when he was on moonlighting,

or I'm assuming moonlighting is really when Bruce kind of hit his stride.

When he was on, by the way, for those of you that just were born, for those of you who were just at Bonnaroo,

Moonlighting is a television show about two detectives, two private investigators, two private detectives at the Moonlighting Agency.

And they

loved each other.

They hated each other.

It was like a romance, drama, comedy kind of thing.

It was really a breakthrough television show, actually.

They did a lot of weird stuff on that show.

Like they did a musical episode.

Yes, they did.

I loved that show.

I thought it was brilliant.

I loved that it was weird and wacky and wild.

And anyway, and I love Bruce Willis.

And then forget about it.

Die Hard came along.

Oh, yeah.

Everybody was in love with Bruce Willis because Yippy KIA, motherfucker.

That's it, right?

That line right there skyrocketed him into mega stardom.

He was the action star of all action stars.

The Christmas movie that we all think of.

The Christmas movie that we all think of.

Yes, the Christmas movie that we all think of.

The Christmas movie that some of us think of, anyway.

It is a Christmas movie.

It happens during Christmas.

It does happen to happen during Christmas.

That's right.

So he says years later, he catches up with Bruce

and Bruce explains to the then superstar Bill Murray, because Saturday Night Live really made him a superstar and that was back in the 70s.

He says, you know what?

You and Gilda Radner were the only two on that set who ever acknowledged me, who were nice to me.

And Bill starts to like get choked up and cry on Andy's show and says, from that moment on, I thought to myself, I like this guy.

This guy's all right.

Like, you know, he recognized that I recognized him.

And I'm just putting words in his mouth, by the way, but I assume he's.

paraphrasing.

Yeah, paraphrasing, that this guy recognized that I recognized him.

And all these years later, took the time to say thank you regarding that.

And he said that Bruce is just one of the greatest guys.

And it made me, I kind of forget this from time to time, that Bruce Willis, while a man of my time, like a man who I grew up watching and loving, especially in those diehard movies, especially, you know, moonlighting and all the other things that he's done,

Bruce is terribly sick.

I mean, he's terribly sick with a rare form of like dementia Alzheimer's that

causes him to be mute, essentially.

He cannot communicate.

And they started to notice this at like on sets.

All of a sudden, he was asking for his lines to be read to him so he could repeat them back.

And some people were starting to go, why?

Like, you know, you've been doing this for years.

Isn't that your job?

And then it all went downhill from there.

What a burden that he must carry and that the family must carry.

Oh, yeah.

But what is fucking beautiful about this situation, what I love, love, love about this situation is the fact that that Demi Moore

is still involved in the care of the family and of Bruce and that the new wife, and I'm sorry I failed to remember her name, is all about it.

Everybody is tag teaming.

It's been that way for years.

They've been posting their like, you know, Christmas photos with matching pajamas, even before he was sick.

Yeah.

So, yeah, it's great that they've all kind of stayed together.

So, it, it underscores

how cool Bruce Willis must be and how cool the people he puts around him must be, and his family members must be.

And if you remember, when Demi and Ashton, Kucher were starting to date, Kutcher the Butcher were starting to date.

Yeah.

Bruce was all about it.

He's like, congratulations.

Good for you guys.

Hope that love blossoms.

Hope you guys do okay.

You're welcome at my house anytime.

There was no drama.

There was no, like, no one was getting upset.

No one was feeling, I mean, at least not publicly.

They weren't.

I'm sure there was some feelings behind the scenes, but no one was.

What a fucking cool dude.

What a fucking cool family.

What a fucking,

what a fucking cool woman.

Two women, right?

And the children.

See, you can be a superstar, Chrissy, and still be nice.

Yes, you can.

It is possible.

Despite all evidence to the contrary recently for us, you can be a superstar and still be nice.

That's all I've got to say.

That's all I'm saying.

Chrissy knows what I'm talking about.

You will never, but there you go.

Yes, yes.

We've encountered some along the way.

We've encountered a few.

I would say we just encountered the worst, but we've encountered a few.

But, you know, I take when I, when I saw the real,

it made me think back on all these things that I have like seen disparately, right?

And put them all together and say, what a cool situation.

Yeah.

While the Polly Polly family.

I've never seen that.

Did you notice the Polly family just went away?

No, I realized I hadn't watched it in a little while, but I was like, yeah.

Yeah.

It just went away.

It just stopped.

It just stopped.

It just went away.

At least it stopped recording on my DVR.

It just stopped.

Five episodes, six episodes.

And it was just getting good, kind of.

They were going to add in a girl, another girl into the mix.

Yeah, I think people were like, this is boring.

This is twice my daily drama.

I don't want to watch it.

Yeah, well, it was reality TV without the good-looking and

scripted reality that we got to love.

Yes, when you have reality TV, you put hot people together and throw in some tension and let them go at it.

Yeah, there's no tension.

God bless them.

Listen, I'm not claiming I look any better than anyone on Poly Family because I don't.

No, I mean, it's not about the look.

But

I don't watch it to see people like me.

I watch it to see people much much better looking than me.

And then I judge them.

That's what I do.

Because that's what reality television is.

That's the way it goes.

Don't say you don't.

Because one of my favorite new Instagram accounts is this girl.

And I can't remember her name.

I will remember it.

I'll put it in the show notes of this episode.

Is an Instagram account where a lady.

Looks for other Instagram accounts.

Let's take an example.

Paris Hilton posts a picture.

And then she goes down into the comments and watches while every shithead in America with one tooth still living with their mother, 375 pounds, not a string of muscle on them, decides to comment on the looks of Paris Hilton.

And she posts the look.

She posts the comment, and then she posts pictures she finds of them.

And it is the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen in my life.

And I'm mad I didn't think of it first.

I am mad I didn't think of it first because I thought, wow, because the comment alone is shitty enough on whoever, you know, like Paris small chits, never was anybody, whatever, and then posts a picture of some dude basically drooling on himself with, you know, boogers hanging out of his nose and never had a girlfriend in his life.

And it is the funniest fucking shit because it underscores the hypocrisy of what is going on.

But I will admit, I'm in full hypocritical mood and mode when I watch those reality shows.

I'm like, ah, oh,

when I see that 90-day fiancé, I'm like,

he would never date her in real life.

If it wasn't for 90-day fiancé's cameras, that would never be going on.

But who am I to judge?

Look at my wife.

You think I didn't marry 12 levels up?

I married 12 levels up.

You did, but you're a good-looking couple.

Well, thank you.

Yes, we're a good-looking couple because it's like Astrid raises the law of averages.

If there's power of small numbers, if there's just two of us and one of us is a 10 and the other one's a two, we're going to be at a seven.

You know what I'm saying?

Did I do the math right there?

I don't think I did the math right there.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that story about Bruce Willis

and Bill Murray on Andy because I never knew they were friends.

How would I know?

I'm not friends with either of them, but I thought it was a beautiful story.

And Bill really got very choked up about it when he was thinking about Bruce.

And

yeah, I like watching him in interviews and listening to him.

I actually, just a little while back, listened to a whole like hour-long interview with him

on, I think it was like on my New York Times audio.

He's been making the round stuff.

Yeah.

He's been making the rounds.

He's a funny guy.

Like, I mean, he's, he's emotional too.

He's real.

He's real.

I,

here's my, here's where I put my finger on Bill.

I think comedians

are, we are, no, say we.

Let me back up for a second.

I think comedians, they

are,

have the ability to point out insecurities, funny situations,

absurd things, hypocrisy, and kind of put a mirror to the rest of the world.

But I think they fiercely protect or have the inability sometimes to see those things in themselves.

So I think some of the most famous comics.

in the world have really been messed up

people,

right?

Chevy Chase.

I mean, I can go on and on.

I don't need to go on and on, but I can go on and on.

And

if they make it to old age, which some of them don't, i.e.

Chris Farley, they make it to the old age.

If you make it to old age in general,

you're going to start to learn some things.

Of course.

Because life is going to pound you against the wall until you do.

You're going to keep on repeating the same mistake over and over and over again.

You're going to keep running into the same emotional walls over and over and and over again until you learn your fucking lesson.

Take it from a guy who needs to be taught 30 times.

And then on the 31st lesson, I might or might not take a hint, right?

I know this all too well.

I get the sense that Bill Murray

was kind of went through life with comedy as his guard from that reflection in the mirror until very recently.

I think so too.

I agree with you.

When tragedy hit and he had a lot of people that were crawling down his neck about past behaviors and all this stuff, and he did some things that maybe weren't so cool.

And he had to say, Yeah, maybe that, maybe I didn't do that the right way.

And when you're forced to stop and take a look, when you're like hot to trot, everybody loves you, everything about you.

And then someone goes, Yeah, but there's this other side to Bill that sometimes is not so hot.

And you're forced to take a look at that, then I think that couldn't equal growth or further

deepen your position as kind of an asshole.

Right.

And I I think Bill went the other direction, seems to me, because I see these interviews too.

Right.

And he did have kind of a reputation for being a little bit of a dick in the earlier years.

He did.

There's a lot of people that have come out publicly and said, I didn't like working with Bill Murray.

He was kind of a dick.

Who was the guy he did what about Bob with?

Richard Dreyfus.

Richard Dreyfus hates Bill Murray and takes every opportunity to tell everybody what a dick Bill Murray is.

And if you listen to the story that

Dreyfus tells, and listen, Dreyfus, no fucking

songstress himself.

That guy is a fucking asshole who thinks very highly of himself.

But when you hear the story he tells about being on set with Bill, doesn't sound very pleasant, right?

Bill was Bob, essentially, and drove Dreyfus nuts, despite Dreyfus continually telling him, settle the fuck down.

And he just kept going at him, going at him, thinking, I think, thinking that it would make the movie better.

And how can you make that movie better?

I mean, it's brilliant.

It's a classic.

Yeah, it is.

But now I see Bill in these interviews, same ones you see.

He was on with Theo Vaughan.

I think he stopped by Joe Rogan.

No intention of him coming by the commercial break.

Just settle down, everybody.

I think the only A-listers we've ever had, we've either pissed off or we haven't even managed to get through the first five minutes of conversation with them before they left.

But Bill has been on these shows and I've watched him.

And it does appear that there's a little bit of self-awareness creeping in there.

70s.

Yeah.

So you got got to think once you get to that age.

Yeah, you're happy to be alive and maybe remorseful for some times in the past.

Yeah.

You weren't so nice.

Listen, that's the way we, I guarantee you,

we all get there.

We're going one of two ways.

We're going villages Fox News

or we're going soften up in the belly a little bit because we're realizing how lucky we were to take this spin around earth and how we probably could have done a few things differently.

So that's all I got to say.

That's my, that's my little soapbox for for the day, Chris.

I like it.

Thank you.

Well, then let's take a break and I'll find another soapbox.

Jump on on the next segment.

Boom.

Boom.

Right back at you.

All right.

We'll be back.

When am I?

What's going on?

Oh.

Oh, sorry.

Hey, Kevin, try that again.

I hit the wrong buttons.

Try that again.

We're going to start the.

We are going to start the commercial break now.

Why don't you text us and we can text back and then you can text us and reply, then so on.

It's a fun little game I've been playing and I think you'll be great at it.

212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

You could leave a message too.

If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show.

But be warned, the pay is not great.

You could go to the website and drop us an email also, tcbpodcast.com.

And while you're there, you can get a free sticker.

Who doesn't want a free sticker?

Just go to the contact us button and ask for one.

Follow us on Insta at thecommercial break and watch the episodes at youtube.com slash the commercial break.

Now I'm gonna go back to that texting game.

You wanna play?

Come on.

Bye.

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Miracles in real life, yes or no?

Yes.

Yes.

Can we take a minute, just one second, to acknowledge on this very silly, stupid show that no one cares about that a miracle happened right in front of all of our eyes.

And I don't know if you've noticed yet, but I'm going to point you in the right direction.

The world's largest passenger jet, a 787,

took off from an airport in India and minutes later blew up.

and smashed into a set of buildings in India.

Terrible tragedy where everyone on board perished because no one survives plane crashes like that except for one

fucking dude

who walked away with every limb and apparently his penis still intact.

And I don't want to make light of it because a lot of people perished.

Like, what, I don't know, 100 and 227 or something.

100 something.

But this dude

walked right out of the plane into an apartment building to waiting to where people were waiting to in open arms to take him downstairs and carry him off to an ambulance.

It's amazing.

It's unfucking believable is what it is.

This is a modern day miracle.

And I don't know who this guy is, but he should count every lucky star he ever had, and we should maybe talk to him.

Maybe he's an alien.

Yeah, he's got to be getting interviewed.

He has been interviewed by a lot of people.

And as a matter of fact, I think I have one of those interviews if you want to read just first.

You want to get more information on this guy?

Yeah, because the last I saw, he was in the hospital and they were just reporting that he had lived.

Yeah,

he's been making the rounds a little bit.

Oh, wait.

What a shocking thing to come out of.

Shocking.

You know, just if you're the one person that survives.

His brother was on the flight.

Yeah.

Like 10 rows back.

And by the way, seat change is what put him in 11A, 11A being the emergency exit row.

And it's how he was able to get out, just walk out of the door is because there was a door right there.

Yeah.

Right.

When the entire plane was disintegrated, he had a door he could walk out of.

It's just quite frankly, it's just like,

it boggles the mind.

It harkens back.

Well, it reminds me too of like 9-11 stories from 9-11 where, you know, the kid was late for school.

And so the dad had to take

and miss the flight or missed being in the towers at the time.

Didn't Danny DeVito wasn't, I think Danny DeVito, if I'm not mistaken, was supposed to be on one of those flights, was running late, changed his flight, whatever happened.

I mean, there's lots of stories like this, right?

He's not the only person who's ever been the only survivor of a plane crash, but it doesn't happen very often.

Commercial jet

crashes, they're usually not survivable.

And there's a lot of reasons why.

And there's a few notable examples like Sully fucking Hero Solenberger, who landed an entire plane on the water, which is nearly an impossible thing to do with a jetliner.

Jetliners, they're big and they're heavy.

They don't don't glide.

I mean, they can glide, but usually you're in trouble if something goes terribly wrong on a commercial jetliner, but they're also extraordinarily safe.

It's why, I mean, until recently,

which is why usually

when you hear about a plane crash, it's a deadly disaster.

But it harkens back to that story.

If you remember this, like 30, 40 years ago, it was an airplane in Brazil and it exploded midair.

And there was a young lady who was with her parents.

She's like 11 years old.

And it exploded in midair over the Amazon, and debris went everywhere.

And like 19 days later, the young lady walked out of the Amazon.

Yeah, that was wild.

That is way wild.

Whoa.

Way wild.

And then recently there was like a small plane crash in the Amazon, and three kids huddled up together and survived until some authorities found them.

A British man who was, by the way, this is

BBC News.

The British man who was the sole survivor of Thursday's Air India plane crash said he managed to escape through the wreckage through an opening in the fuselage.

I managed to unbuckle myself, used my leg to push through the opening, and crawled out.

I am definitely going to murder his name, so I'm not going to even try.

His last name is Ramesh.

Mr.

Ramesh, 40 years old, was in seat 11A on the London-bound Boeing 787 flight when it went down shortly after takeoff in western India.

Air India said all of their passengers and crew were killed, including 169 Indian nationals, 52 British nationals.

More than 200 bodies have been recovered so far.

Speaking from his hospital bed, Mr.

Ramesh said the lights inside the aircraft started flickering moments after takeoff.

Within five or ten seconds, it felt like the plane was stuck in the air.

What a nightmare.

What a nightmare.

The lights started flickering green and white.

Suddenly, it slammed into a building and it exploded.

The Boeing 7878 Dreamliner crashed into a building used as an accommodation for doctors.

Wow.

At the medical college and civilian hospital.

But Mr.

Ramesh,

a businessman from Leicester, I guess that's in

England, who has a wife and a four-year-old son, said the section he was sitting in landed near the ground and did not make contact with the building.

No one could have gotten out from the opposite side, which was toward the wall, because it crashed.

The cause of the crash is not yet known.

A video shared on social media shows Mr.

Ramesh walking toward an ambulance with smoke billowing behind him.

For a moment, I felt like I was going to die too, but when I opened my eyes and looked around, I realized I was alive, still alive.

I still can't believe I survived.

While Mr.

Ramesh did have some

like non-emergency injuries, he was disoriented with multiple small injuries all over his body.

He appears to be out of of danger.

Wow.

Yeah.

It's, I know it's hard to comprehend.

It is really hard to comprehend.

Really, really hard to comprehend how you

are in the middle of that carnage and then you just walk out.

It's a miracle.

There's no other way.

I would start thinking I was an alien.

I would start second guessing my actual humanity after that.

I'd be like, you remember Bruce Willis in that,

what was it called?

What was the movie?

Where he was a hero, where he survived the train.

With aliens?

No, he survived the train crash, and then he realized he was a.

Oh, well, there's the

one with the boy?

The one with the...

Not that one.

Same director, different one.

Hold on.

We're so terrible.

We are the worst.

We are the worst.

I know there's people out there too listening that know that.

I know they are screaming at us.

Yes.

Allison says it all the time.

She goes, I scream all the time at you guys.

Not the fifth element.

Not that.

No, I love that the fifth element movie, though.

The fifth element is really good.

I just read that, was it the fifth element where the director married?

Who was that?

Mila

Jokovanich or something.

Jokovanic or whatever her name was.

And she was like 16 years old.

Yeah, I think there was something weird.

Yeah, and that director had, and he divorced divorced another 16 year old to do it it was really weird oh what was that movie where he played not glass that's the follow-up

um

of you're showing every movie but you're not showing the movie i want to i want to know about

and now the sixth sense is the one you're thinking of yes but it's not that one unbreakable that's it unbreakable i don't think i saw that chrissy this is the best movie ever you got to watch unbreakable it's by the same director who did Sixth Sense.

It is an unbelievable movie where a guy comes to the realization after surviving a train crash where everybody else perishes.

Most people perish, he survives the train crash without a scratch.

And he's an alien.

He realizes he's a superhero.

Oh.

And it is the most unbelievably beautiful movie.

It's so awesome.

It's like you're watching someone realize that they're a superhero, but not like with a cape and all the corny bullshit, right?

Yeah.

It's very like hyper-realistic.

What's his power to say alive?

He's unbreakable.

Okay.

He's unbreakable.

He cannot be broken.

But just like that other movie, I can't remember, signs.

Remember signs?

Yes.

Where the water kills the aliens?

Kind of.

Just like signs, water is his downfall.

It's water.

That's his downfall.

His kryptonite?

His kryptonite is water, essentially.

It's a fantastic movie.

You have to watch it.

You and Jeff get together and watch Unbreakable one night.

And I guarantee you're you're going to love it.

Anybody who's seen Unbreakable knows what a great movie this is.

M-Night Shyamalan.

M-Night Shyamalan is really M-Night Shyamalala.

Shamala La Lalala is really good at what he does when he's at his best.

He's really bad at what he does when he's at his worst.

There are some real stinkers out there, but Unbreakable is not one of them.

Signs is not one of them.

I think Signs and Unbreakable are probably my favorite.

Then they have like the, is it Lady in the Water or Lady of the Night or whatever?

Lady in the Water.

Lady in the Water.

No, I think that won an Academy Award.

Isn't that about the Lady in the Water?

They're like keeping her as a scientific secret.

Do you remember that one?

I didn't watch it.

That one was good, too.

I like that one.

Okay, that's M.

Night.

That's not M.

Night.

Lady in the Water is not M-Night.

Yeah.

It's going all over the place.

We're not.

Where does an alien fit in?

Signs.

Okay.

Signs is the alien movie from M-Night Shyamalan.

And that has got Joachim Phoenix, Mel Gibson, and fantastic acting all around.

And you've never seen signs?

I mean, it seems familiar, but.

The aliens come.

Joaquim Phoenix, Mel Gibson.

Mom just died of a terrible, tragic car accident.

And

there's a little girl in the movie, too.

The aliens come.

They're like farmers in the middle of nowhere.

And what do they do?

Whack and tree.

Whack and tree.

That's it.

Actually,

you got it

joaque phoenix takes a baseball bat to the aliens he literally whacks them how did you know that he takes a tree and he whacks them it's a whacking tree how did you know that how did you know that yeah what i think of aliens i think of whack and tree now until they figure out that like water is their downfall i think they use like score guns or something i mean it's kind of corny but science is a great movie because the visuals that m night shy malan puts in there they're like the the he's known for that yeah the intensity in which he can ratchet up your emotions and then scare the holy fuck out of you and then you know make you cry and then all this other stuff.

It's crazy.

And Mel Gibson, think what you will of the guy.

He gives a tour to force performance in there.

And if you don't cry when Mel Gibson is crying about his wife and trying to protect his remaining children from, you know, the aliens that are right outside the door, then you don't have a heart, man.

You don't have a heart.

Anyway, love Bruce in summation.

Love Bruce Willis.

Die Hard's not a Christmas movie.

Moonlighting was a good show.

Polly Family's No Longer.

Signs, Unbreakable, The Sixth Sense, Aliens, The Whacking Tree, Skort Guns, Watch it.

Did you get that all?

In that order.

Planes, survive them.

Planes, survive them if you can.

We're going to hell.

We're all going to hell.

And when you're an A-lister, don't be a dick.

How's that?

Don't be a dick.

Or then you're going to be a D-lister.

Well, well.

I would venture to say that.

That happens.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Someday, Chrissy, someday we'll write a book.

Yes.

Yes.

When we don't desperately need A-listers to show up on the show, we'll write a book.

Maybe I should write that in the notebook.

Maybe that's what I need to do.

I don't even think we need to write it in the notebook.

I think we know.

We're going to remember that one forever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Don't be a dick, dude.

Oh.

Anyway, pardon the interruption in the middle of the show, but you know, we got back to it eventually.

All right, I don't know what else to say.

I really, I don't know what you want me to say.

All right, well, here I'll start here.

Give us a call, 212-433-3TCB.

212-433-3822.

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Let us know you want to be on the list.

And we already have some people on the list, which is surprising.

I didn't think anybody would let us know, but some people did let us know.

Okay, that's good.

All right.

Okay.

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You can go there.

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It's technology at work.

It's magic.

It too is a miracle.

All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

I think so.

Tell you that I love you.

I love you.

Best to you.

Best to you.

And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy, and I will say, we do say, and we must say.

Goodbye.

goodbye.

If you're thirsting for no, we aren't there yet, kids won't stop crying.

We brought snacks, but they wanted other snacks.

Stop pulling each other's hair, and we made it 14 minutes with no screens-level refreshment.

We definitely have that.

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The summer sun humps,

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So you pour it.

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I get ass.

This episode is brought to you by FX's Alien Earth, the official podcast.

Each week, host Adam Rogers is joined by guests, including the show's creator, cast, and crew, in this exclusive companion podcast.

They will explore story elements, deep dive into character motivations, and offer an episode-by-episode behind-the-scenes breakdown of each terrifying chapter in this new series.

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