A Starbucks Boyfriend Birthday!

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

On this episode of the commercial break.

I didn't tell them it was my birthday.

Oh, yeah, because I don't do that.

They don't know it's like on the app?

No, I don't.

My app hasn't worked in years.

Oh, I've called Starbucks.

Starbucks tech support is exactly what you'd expect out of Starbucks tech support.

It's not support or tech.

It's like somebody telling you to re-download the app on your phone.

Which, don't you think I thought about that?

Yeah.

Come on.

I mean, honestly.

So my app hasn't worked in years.

But anyway,

I didn't say that.

I I didn't say.

But my Starbucks boyfriend knew it was my birthday because I did tell him and he said happy birthday.

Oh,

when did you tell him?

I told him.

Today or yeah, I said it on a text menu.

I was like, oh, tomorrow's my birthday, so I'll, you know, I got to do this and then I'll be up there.

We make plans to meet.

Yeah, we have

this.

We're a little couple.

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Oh, yeah, Cats and Kittens.

Welcome back to the Commercial Break.

I'm Brian Green.

This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris Joy Hoadley.

Best to you, Chrissy.

Best to you, Brian.

Happy birthday!

Fuck it.

Fuck it all.

Bah humbugs.

I got you.

I know you did.

And I like your glasses.

YouTube.com/slash the commercial break if you want to check out Chrissy's LED glasses where she can spell stuff out on it.

Apparently, it's scrolling.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday, Brian.

You look like Max Hedron.

I know, I kind of do.

I forgot how many different things you can do with these glasses.

There's lots of choices.

Yeah, it's really cool.

It's like, imagine one of those signs at like a cleaner's where they put like in a weekly special and it scrolls different letters in block type.

That's what Chrissy has on her glasses, which is really cool.

Where did you get one of those things?

Amazon.

Amazon.

Where do we get everything?

Amazon for everything, kids.

Amazon for everything.

Well, thank you very much for the salutation.

Welcome.

It is my birthday as we record this, September 2nd.

The Big Three nine the big three nine yes again and again and again and again and again i wish it was three nine i really do i'm getting closer to five zero than i am to four zero but i will say this um i hate my birthday i know it's not that i hate my birthday i don't care about birthdays you're a birthday scrooge i am a birthday scrooge and it all goes back to there are two types of parents in this world i do believe it those who give a shit

those who don't give a shit about birthdays.

For some reason, my parents just never made a big deal about our birthdays.

I mean, of course, we would get a happy birthday, occasionally a card, maybe a cake, if you were lucky, but it was certainly going to be a homemade cake.

There were no birthday parties.

I think once or twice we got to invite a friend over.

They did.

Of course they did.

Well, my mom was like one to 30.

And when I say I have 12 to 13 children, I really don't.

But my mom's parents, they had a lot of kids.

Yeah.

And so I I can understand

that maybe birthdays had to be a little bit subdued so it didn't get out of control.

Yeah.

My dad was one of two, but I just think that he just grew up with parents that were like that, right?

They were of a different age, a different mindset.

They did not celebrate birthdays.

And so then therefore we did not get a lot of celebration.

Of course, there are happy birthdays, Brian.

Of course, we get a card, but the card usually says, happy birthday.

You know what I'm saying?

It's not like a big deal.

But my wife is the exact opposite.

Birthdays are a huge deal.

They're celebrating.

They're bringing a birthday family too.

And I celebrate for a month.

It's my birthday month.

And I get really excited about other people's birthdays, too.

I know, you do.

You've always gotten excited about my birthday.

Astrid, of course,

made it special.

You know, I always wake up to something.

Yes.

A big happy birthday and a post and all this other stuff.

And then the kids, now they are, get excited about a birthday.

My kids bought me birthday presents, my wife said.

They're sitting on the table waiting for them to get home from school they picked them out and she's like just no they picked those are the best though they're so cute and i said so they're for them and she goes well they tried their best it's gonna be like a mickey mouse toy a dress a princess dress

a birthday mug she told me a story she said one of the kids really wanted to get me a mug i drink tea every night at a you know they like they have all bought me a mug at some point they like when i use their mug are you gonna use my mug use my mug that's cute.

It is cute.

And so she said that they went shopping, and one of the girls wanted to get me a mug.

And so she runs up and she's just learning how to read.

She doesn't know how to read all that well yet.

And so she runs up and it's like, you know, Christ blessed you on this day, oh, Lord, or something like that.

And I asked her that to tell her, listen, child, if there is one mug that your father is not going to drink out of, it is the one with Psalms 39 on it.

So I'll fucking forget it.

Oh, the mugs are sweet, too.

I know I have some mugs that are, Jeff and I have some mugs that are piling up from my nephews.

Yes.

Like best uncle, best aunt.

I got it all.

I got best dad, you know, dad of the dad.

I love my dad.

I know.

I've got more Disney mugs than I know what to do with, but I like them.

I mean,

I'm not collecting them on purpose, but I like them.

I like to go through.

And when I say, hey, I'm using your mug, and they get all excited.

Sweet little ritual.

Yes, very exciting.

Long Labor Day weekend after a long week off because I got the inevitable

first week of school shits.

Yeah.

The ook.

The ook, the schmutz, as we call it.

The back-to-school virus that is also known as the back-to-school flu.

I know it's a good one.

Anyone but kids will know that.

Yeah, I was talking to somebody else

and he said, oh, my son is home.

He's got back to school.

Back to school flu.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, I think that

one of the kids at one of the kids' schools,

he went to school and then I picked him up and he explained that there were a number of kids missing from class because that's what happens when kids, when the young kids go to school and they don't have all the defenses that the adults do, they come home with the virus that just never ends.

It is a peach tree dish.

Here in Atlanta, we can call it that.

A peach tree dish.

So we got the schmutz and then I just couldn't really talk.

My voice was killing me.

So we took the week off.

So thanks for sticking with it, TCB Classics.

And

we had a 201.

I know.

We didn't do anything last week.

We took the entire week off.

So So I celebrated my birthday.

Did we do Patton?

We did Patton, Patton.

That's the only thing we did.

That's the only thing we did.

You came in.

We did Patton and you left.

What a great interview, too.

I loved that.

Patton Oswald is just a champ.

I really was.

I haven't gotten starstruck too much on this show.

Maybe Tig Nataro, Margaret Cho, Tom Papa,

Reggie Watts, because I'm a big fan, at least at first.

But Patton Oswald was one of those people that I was a little starstruck because he has done so much.

He has done it all.

And he has one of these storied careers where he has managed to navigate an entire lifetime worth of TV, cartoons, and movies and still be relevant and still be doing a lot of work.

The guy is doing everything.

And so he is like a rare creature in Hollywood, in the entertainment industry.

And he's also authentic.

He's also honest.

He's also

calls it like he sees it.

I think the guy is immense.

I mean, the guy is really fucking.

He's quoting things.

I was like, God, I wish I could do that.

I know.

I wish I could be.

I wish I could be.

The philosopher from the 1700s once said.

I know.

He was like

talking about Greek mythology.

And I'm like, yeah, I think I took a class on that.

Seventh grade.

Yeah.

He remembered the thing about guys like Patton is they are so incredibly intelligent and sharp and quick-witted that you really feel outgunned when you're interviewing them, right?

It's a bit intimidating because you know he's smarter than you, you know, he's quicker than you, and you know, at any moment, he could realize what a dipshit he's talking to and just roll over you.

He really could make you look stupid, not because he's mean, but because that's how fucking smart he is.

Yeah.

And luckily, I think we managed it, right?

I think we managed it.

But the beginning of the interview was so fucking rough that I didn't know how we would recover.

And I don't mean talking to Pat.

I mean, let me explain, a little like palace intrigue here.

On occasion, things happen.

People are late, they forget, we forget, you know, it's the wrong time.

It's the wrong time zone.

That's happened a million times.

The equipment doesn't work.

There's some shit.

Doesn't happen often, but it does happen.

Probably more than it should because we're the commercial brand.

I mean, honestly, probably more than it should.

Our booking agent is just about sick of us.

But anyway.

And then, of course, I'm sick for the rest of the week, so we have to cancel all these interviews.

She was, God bless Bella.

God bless you, Bella.

I love you.

Kisses on your face.

So, but Patton, we were not going to miss.

So Chrissy comes in.

I'm sick.

And then the air purifiers on his face.

Fans blowing.

There's hand sanitizer everywhere.

So five minutes goes by.

That's late when someone's, because it's a setup interview.

You expect someone to be on time, but it happens.

And it's Patton.

We're going to hang.

We're going to hang tough.

10 minutes goes by.

15 minutes goes by.

And we call his agent.

And then his agent says, shit, I'll try to see if I can get a hold of him.

25 minutes of which we have an hour with him 25 minutes is eating up because patton just he just something got mixed up like some kind of scheduling issue but he says i'm gonna get there hold on hang tight five minutes i'll be on he comes on and then the equipment is not working so for the so now we're 30 minutes into a scheduled hour and i am running around the studio like a chicken with my head cut up trying to figure out exactly what's going on meanwhile patton is like what is going on i mean and he can't figure out how to like see us both at the same time, too.

And like, it was the whole thing.

I am just, I know he's going to bail.

I'm feeling it in my bones.

I know Patton's going to be like, well, when you guys get your shit together, let me know and I'll call back.

So when it starts off that rough, you're like, shit.

And then you have to have your senses about you because it's Patton.

And so, of all the things that Patton has done, of all the wonderful characters, television shows, movies, writing, production, direction, all the things that Patton has done in his storied career.

And the first thing that Brian goes for is fucking rattatouille.

Rattatouille.

Yeah.

Remy.

And he was so gracious to talk about it.

I know.

Because you did say, I bet you've talked about this

so many times.

He was like, yes, I have.

Thanks for bringing it up 14 years later.

Poor fucking Patton.

Honestly.

Well, you routed him with the kids.

I did.

You did.

I did.

Well, it's the only thing that could come to mind after we're 25 minutes late and then then the equipment doesn't work.

We were a little thrown off.

It was a little, I was off my game.

I wasn't prepared.

And so I just had to go straight to Remy.

I was going to wrap it in the end of the conversation, but why not start with the worst possible question?

Something he has talked the fuck to death about.

He probably gets it every time somebody under the age of 30 says hello to him.

It's all about Ratta fucking Touhey.

And he's like, you know, I've done something else besides Remy from Ratsatouille.

My face wasn't even in that, Brian.

So, God bless Pat Doswell.

Go listen to the interview, and you can make sense of it if you will.

But we eventually hit on something that was of interest to both of us, all of us.

And I think that it, I think we've, I think we landed the plane okay.

I think we did, too.

Takeoff was a bit rough, but we landed it okay.

And so, Patton, you know, I just, I love him.

I really appreciate any time.

He'll never be back.

But, you know, we got our 30 minutes and that was good.

But that's the only thing we did last week.

That's it.

That's all we did.

Yeah, that's all we did last week was do that.

Every day I was on standby, but yeah, I just couldn't manage it.

Well, my throat is so when you, the thing about

the thing about talking for the thing about talking for a living is that when you're sick and your throat, you get throaty, like you eat in an ashtray, it's kind of disconcerting.

Not only to me, it hurts.

It can be like painful after a while to like talk when you have that kind of throaty, weird, sore throat.

But then then I think it sounds kind of gross and nasty.

Like I'm a little concerned that the listeners are like, God, Brian, clear your throat.

Plus, everybody's taking all this time off this year.

I mean, I know, I noticed Andy Cohen took three weeks off.

Andy Cohen took three weeks off.

Good for you.

I think Jimmy

Kimmel took time off.

Jimmy Fallon has taken time off.

Let's talk about Jimmy Fallon for a second.

We got so much to talk about.

Yeah, but and we might have to stretch into two episodes, but everyone is taking time off.

A lot of the entertainers are taking time off.

And I think

I applaud it.

And I think I understand why.

I think life is very stressful.

I think there are a lot of targets on a lot of backs.

And I believe that people have decided now is the time to just take a breath and let's see where things are going.

For all the reasons that we don't, you know, we don't usually talk about here on the show, but you know the reasons why.

It's a heated political climate where people are being targeted for what they say.

So all the people who scream and yell about freedom and freedom of speech and cancel cancel culture and woke bullshit, all those people are now canceling everybody and putting people in jail and fictitious search warrants and all this other stuff.

So it's a very dangerous time to speak out.

And I think the summertime, just in general, for the entertainment business, people do take time off, right?

Because everyone's out on their vacations.

Vacations, school starting back, all that stuff.

The palace intrigue that's really got me going of all the entertainers that are taking time off right now is the Howard Stern thing that's going on.

You can do tell.

Okay.

Howard Stern is at the end, at the end of this year, he will come up on the end of the last contract that he signed in 2020, five-year contract, $500 million,

very similar to the one he's been signing ever since he went to Sirius back in 2006 or seven.

And similar to ours.

Very similar to I's minus eight zeros.

Yes, the $500 contract.

That's actually below 500.

Yes.

The $50,000 contract that we signed for three three years, which is about right, actually.

Yeah, very similar to ours.

But when you're negotiating at that level with a company like Sirius, who has become quite a behemoth media company, podcasting and media company, you know,

it's got to be a very nuanced, difficult negotiation.

About two months ago, or maybe a month ago, maybe a month and a half ago, when I was on vacation down in Naples, a story started to come out that Sirius had canceled Howard, that they had decided not to renew his contract, even though the guy who heads up Sirius Talent Division, Scott Greenstein, had repeatedly said, if Howard wants to stay, we're always going to find a way because he's like Johnny Carson.

He's Howard Stern.

He's Howard Stern.

But there's a lot of speculation that his audience, one time slated to be 20 million people tuning in every morning on Sirius XM, has dwindled down to 200,000 people.

Now, I think that is exaggerated.

I can't imagine that only 200,000 people tune into Howard Stern every morning.

It's got to be in the millions.

Maybe it's not 20 million anymore.

It's probably shrunk because Howard has been a very big critic of Howard of Trump and the Republicans.

And that's not in fashion or hasn't been in fashion in the media business.

It's all the people on the other side of the aisle who have been getting all the attention, like Rogan, and I could go on and on, and Schultz and all these other guys.

So people have believed for two reasons.

Number one, he's a critic of Trump, and it's hard to make that call for Sirius to give him another huge contract when he's been such a huge critic of Trump and Trump has targeted media companies who have been critical of him.

I know.

Once again, he's like, what?

ABC.

ABC.

Yeah, he wants to now fine ABC again.

And MSNBC should be off air.

And, you know, Rachel Maddow is going to go to jail and all this other stuff, all this other craziness.

And at the same time, also then saying that we need free press.

Free press only if it's

if it's yeah, only if it shines a light on the favorabilities of Trump is insanity.

And it is the furthest thing from conservative thinking that I have ever heard in my life because he's not a conservative.

And I could go on and on.

But anyway, number one.

Stern has been critical of Trump.

That has fallen out of favor.

And many people have left the audience because they are Trump fans.

And you can see how this makes sense.

Howard is largely a male-driven audience for the most part, and that male audience has largely run over to guys like Rogan, right?

Rogan and Theo Vaughn and all these other guys who were sucking Trump's cock during the election.

So that number one.

Number two, if the numbers have fallen that much, how could they possibly pay him the same amount of money and make it make sense to the stock, to the shareholders and to any investors inside of the company?

I can see that just being a business decision.

If you only have 200,000 people listening, you can't pay somebody $100 million a year.

That's never going to make math sense.

And number three, Howard's old.

He's 72 years old, 71, 72 years old.

How much longer can he do that?

Well, am I wrong in thinking I thought he was just going to be done after this pastime, but he didn't announce that.

He always has played with the, now, I haven't listened to Trump.

I haven't listened to Stern.

I never listened to Trump.

I haven't listened to Stern religiously in a long time.

And I think a lot, I think I'm like a lot of other listeners is that we were all caught up in his palace intrigue and the day-to-day stuff that was going on inside of the studio.

But during the pandemic, he left the studio and he's never come back.

He's always been, now he's been remote.

He's taken some of the juice out of the show, I believe.

But he's always

talking out of both mat, talking on both sides of his mouth.

If I leave, what are you going to do?

When I leave,

at the end of this, I'm done.

Because he's trying to juice up Sirius XM.

He's threatening them.

He's negotiating on air.

He is extremely talented at this,

making his bosses believe that he will leave so that they fawn over him and then allow him and then give him some huge paycheck just so he'll stay.

But I'm not sure it's going to work this time because I don't know if the numbers are in his favor.

So let's take a,

how much time do we got?

Okay, a couple more minutes and then we'll take a break.

So month and a half ago, they're canceling him.

He's gone.

Okay.

About three weeks ago, reports start coming out.

He's already signed a contract.

He's putting this press out himself to drive interest around his return from summer vacation on September 2nd.

Today, as we're recording,

all these rumors come out.

He hates Alex Cooper.

Call her daddy, who's at SiriusXM.

She gets all the attention.

He doesn't.

You know, he's going to be canceled.

He's not going to be canceled.

He's not signing a new contract.

He signed a new contract.

They didn't offer him a contract.

They've offered him a contract many times.

All this like conflicting information, insiders say sources close to the situation, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Howard is a master manipulator of the media because he has been doing this for 40 fucking years or 50 years.

I don't know how long he's been.

He's been doing this since he was a kid.

So my belief of all the information that I read, I start to believe this following line that Howard is just yanking the media around.

He's putting it, he's dropping this in the press himself, or people in the show around the show are dropping this into the press to drive ratings for his return on September 2nd, when he will announce that he has reached some kind of agreement with SiriusXM to stay around for a little while, maybe a year, maybe two, and then he's, and then he's done, right?

I'm going to do this for another three years, and then I'm done.

I'm done.

It's never, I'm not, I'm not coming back.

See you later.

Or I'm going over to the next company, Netflix, Apple, somebody else, and I'm going to do a podcast.

Whatever it is, some big announcement was going to be made today.

Howard's not done, but he's going to announce, I'm going to do this, and then I'm done, right?

Okay.

And Apple, Spotify, Netflix, Amazon, they would all drop him a pile of cash.

All of them.

A big pile of cash.

But I think he likes where he's at because he built where he's at.

Yeah, that's true.

When he went over to Sirius XM, they had like 120,000 subscribers.

I remember that.

That was such a big deal.

He was like the only big thing.

He was the only thing.

Yeah.

Besides music and a couple of shitty sports shows on there, he was the only thing.

No one cared about satellite radio.

No one gave a shit.

They had Sirius and they had XM, and those two were competing for no one's attention.

No one cared.

Yeah, no one except like that would be driving for a living or something that couldn't listen to the radio.

Correct.

And then he made the announcement that he's getting paid $100 million a year to go over to Sirius.

At the time, the two companies were split, Sirius and XM, two different companies.

He's going over to Sirius for $100 million a year for five years.

And people were like, where did Sirius get the money?

And how the fuck are they going to make that back?

And guess what?

Now, if you don't get a car with a Sirius XM radio in it, you're like, what the fuck?

Why does she have Sirius XM in the fucking car?

It is.

part and parcel of every auto automotive transaction.

I guarantee a lot of people have that app downloaded on their phone.

I promise you, a lot of people listen to their podcasts that way.

They listen to news, sports talk, whatever it is.

It has become ubiquitous with radio.

Now, radio, FM and AM still gets a lot more listeners, but there are hundreds of millions of these radios out there and hundreds of millions of subscribers.

And it's largely the house that Howard built.

Anyway, so September 2nd, he's going to be back on air, 6 a.m.

Until at 4 a.m., when Sirius puts out, and Howard put out a social media post that scratches out September 2nd and says, stay tuned, September 8th, Howard returns.

And no one knows why.

So the palace intrigue of the Stern show continues.

It does.

And it's very, I don't know if this is a PR stunt, everyone's playing.

Some people have said that there was an email that went around his office explaining that there was a family emergency and he needed to take an extra week off.

His mom is 93 years old.

Maybe she passed away.

Maybe she's sick.

He's talked about it on air.

His dad's dad passed away a couple of years ago.

So maybe that is it, or maybe they're still negotiating a contract, or maybe he's going somewhere else and Sirius is telling him he can't talk about it.

They're trying to stop that from happening.

I don't know.

But Howard Stern.

When many people have called him dead year after year after year, like he's dead, he's gone,

he's a has-been, has managed to drum up publicity

every single time that he needs it.

Every single time he needs the public to pay attention, he finds a way to string them back in.

And because of that,

I admire the chutzpah of Howard.

Or is he doing this just to get additional attention?

Like, he knows this is going to throw people off.

Maybe it's a combo.

Maybe it is a combo.

Anyway, that's the Howard Stern saga.

Okay.

Thanks for filling me in.

Yeah, there's no saga in the commercial break because no one wants us except for Odyssey.

So please

keep us on Odyssey.

We don't shit on our overlords and tell them we're never coming back.

We say, please, please have us, Odyssey.

Please, will you, please?

Please, and thank you.

Yes.

All right.

So much more to talk about, including Taylor and Travis.

I mean, what do we have to say about Taylor and Travis?

And it's my favorite time of the year, Christy, not because it's my birthday, but because the annual jerk-off fest known known as Burning Man happens.

Oh, God.

I want to talk.

There's so much.

Oh, my God.

I've been following.

I've been following.

You want to know what's dead?

Burning Man, it's dead.

I will call it right now.

Jump the shark three years ago, but we can officially put a pin in it.

Who the fuck wants to go to Burning Man?

Oh, my God.

Bunch of idiots.

That's who.

And if you went, I'm sorry.

No one went to Burning Man as listening to the commercial break.

I can promise you that.

They're too rich.

All right.

We'll be back.

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB.

And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.

Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.

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Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors.

And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

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My coffee's too sweet.

It is, you know, yeah.

It is.

You like it sweet, too.

I don't like it all that sweet, but I, because I get so much coffee, I put a lot of sweetener in there, but you know, I put stevia in there.

But I think they put Splenda instead of sweet Stevia.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

Splenda is much sweeter than Stevia is.

So, but God bless him.

I love those girls, all the girls and guys up there.

So this is my Starbucks boyfriend this morning.

He's about to go to Italy because his daughter is getting married.

So they're going to spend two weeks in Italy.

Yeah.

How fun.

Why am I not going?

I don't know.

Why has he not invited you?

Whoa.

I mean,

it's a small wedding and I don't know his daughter.

Like, why would I be invited anyway, right?

But if I was invited,

I would not go because I can't afford it.

But I would think about going.

Yes,

for sure.

Definitely.

I like him.

I like my Starbucks boyfriend very much.

Did you get him?

And his dog.

Did you get your free birthday coffee?

I didn't tell them it was my birthday.

Oh.

Yeah, because I don't do that.

They don't know it's like on the app or whatever.

No, I don't.

My app hasn't worked in years.

Oh.

I've called Starbucks.

Starbucks tech support is exactly what you'd expect out of Starbucks tech support.

It's not support or tech.

It's like somebody telling you to re-download the app on your phone.

Which, don't you think I thought about that?

Yeah.

Come on.

I mean, honestly.

So my app hasn't worked in years.

But anyway,

I didn't say anything.

I didn't say anything.

But my Starbucks boyfriend knew it was my birthday because I did tell him and he said happy birthday.

Oh, when did you tell him?

I told him.

Today or something?

Yeah, I said it on a text message.

I was like, oh, tomorrow's my birthday, so I'll, you know, I got to do this, and then I'll be up there.

We make plans to meet.

We do.

Yeah, we have

a little couple.

I need to meet him.

He's very cool.

I like him a lot.

I like him a lot.

And I don't know his daughter, but I've spoken to her on the phone, like when he's been on the phone, on a speakerphone.

And they just seem lovely.

Yeah.

I like Travis.

And

she refers to me as his starboard.

Star's boyfriend.

Okay.

It's a whole thing.

We got a whole thing.

Okay.

So I don't know where to start, but I think we'll start with Travis and Taylor.

Now, Travis and Taylor got engaged last week.

And I'm just going to say this.

I think this is great.

Besides the fact that I'm now going to have to buy a bunch of additional shit having to do with Taylor Swift and her wedding, there's going to be, Astrid said, Do you think they, I go, I bet there's going to be a pay-per-view wedding.

And she goes, Do you think there really would be a pay-per-view wedding?

And I said, No, I don't think there's really going to be a pay-per-view wedding, but there's going to be the People magazine and the, you know, like whatever the magazines are, and there's going to be some shit.

And I bet there will be some documentary or special or something about the wedding that will come out on Disney Plus or Amazon, guaranteed, because this is our version of the royal royal wedding.

That's true.

And it's the biggest deal in many years in pop culture, right?

Since Laboo-Boo, nothing has struck off our fancies more than Taylor Swift and Travis getting engaged.

And it is exciting for many generations, not just for the younger folks.

Some of the older folks.

I mean, I saw so many reaction videos to this, and I made one myself that I got very excited, but my wallet was even more excited because it was going to get a workout.

I'm happy for their love and that it worked out.

Here's why I'm happy.

It's good news.

It is.

It's good news and we need good news.

We need a little,

I guess we need a little escapism right now.

And this is good escapism.

And I know that there's many people who will say this and that about Taylor and Travis.

And there's always negative.

We can always find the negative in every situation.

But I choose to look at this in a positive way.

Number one, I have a bunch of Swifties in my house, so I can't look at this in a negative way.

Yeah, you have to.

Usual pessimism has to be buried if I want to live in a quiet, calm household.

But number two, there could be worse things to get excited about.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, of course.

I find this to be just fine.

Congratulate, congratulations.

Chrissy and I said it at the beginning, we hoped that this would all end.

It really did.

I think they make a really cute couple from what I can see, and they'd seem really in love and love the heart once with the heart ones.

The hove ones with the hove ones.

I love love.

I love love too.

And so here's to you, Taylor and Travis.

Under remarkably stressful situations, you have managed to navigate this world beautifully.

You seem to love each other very much.

And I hope everything works out swimmingly for you.

I have been rooting for you since the beginning.

I continue to root for you.

Marriage doesn't cure anything, doesn't solve any problems, doesn't make life any better, but it gives you some comfort that your soulmate is now legally obligated to be with you.

Contractually.

Contractually obligated.

I'd like to meet the team of lawyers that is going to find a way to navigate this documentation of their marriage because you know, and it can only be said to be fair, that Taylor will have a prenup of epic proportions, thousands of pages long, as she should.

Or maybe she just simplifies it into one page.

What's mine is mine.

Yeah.

What's yours is yours.

Exactly.

And anything we do together will be documented further down the line.

You know, maybe that's just the way you do it.

Yeah, keep it simple, stupid.

But if she doesn't have a pre, I can't imagine that anybody.

She's so fucking smart as far as business is concerned.

I can only imagine this conversation was had long ago between the two of them.

If we ever get married, you understand that I need to protect myself because I know things will work out.

But in case they don't, I have to protect myself and any future earnings I might have, my family, our kids, if we decide to have them, whatever.

Sure.

So

that is the kind of palace intrigue I'm into.

But I want to see what the prenup says.

And you know, those stories are coming.

You know that those stories are going to be dropped in the news sooner rather than later.

But where will they get married?

How will they get married?

When will it be?

Who's taking the photographs?

What will we be wearing?

All of that stuff we will be reporting on exclusively here at the commercial break.

We have the inside track.

Yes, we do.

Sources close to Taylor say.

As we read from People Magazine.

As we read from people

three weeks ago.

Yes.

You heard it here last, folks.

All right.

Speaking of crazy billionaires, let's talk about the shitty shit fest known as Burning.

Oh, my God.

This year seems to be extra bad.

I think it's extra bad because I think people have caught on about really what a bunch of smoke and mirrors this kind of dumb festival really is.

I applaud the idea

of Burning Man.

I really do.

But like any idea that gets too big for its britches, it becomes the thing it always fought against.

And this.

Also, it needs a new location.

Yeah, I mean, why do you have to have it there?

It used to be in San Francisco.

Like when it first started, it was in San Francisco.

And one of the, I think, if I'm not mistaken, I know it was not always in BlackRock.

But but for the love of all that is fucking holy, it has become a ridiculous,

it's just a ridiculous, I guess, like embarrassment of riches

where a bunch of billionaires and millionaires get together in huge RVs that cost more than three of my houses and drive them out into the middle of the desert and get them full of fucking sand, mud, dirt, where they

sit around for an entire week and drug themselves to death and pretend that money doesn't matter and that the outside world isn't there and that there's nothing more important than what's going on at Burning Man because we have decided there is nothing more important than what's going on at Burning Man.

Burning Man is not the ideal world shunning the reality of life.

It is the opposite.

It is the thing that we all should be

steering away from, which is billionaires and millionaires living in their little cocoon for a week, drugging themselves to death.

That's true.

And showing off the opulence

that is

their own riches.

I'm not against people having money, but the show-off that, like, the absolute like flip that this has become, it kind of makes me a little bit ill to my, like, sick to my stomach.

It's just a bunch of influencers and their millionaire friends taking pictures of each other in a sandstorm.

Yeah.

And let's be real: no one, no one wants to be out there in a sandstorm or a mudstorm or whatever the like getting electrocuted or dying or, you know, high on the LSD for seven days.

No one wants that.

This is a difficult thing to do.

This is a,

it's, it's just a big jerk off.

That's all it's become is a big jerk off.

Look how cool my thing is.

Look how cool this is.

You can't be here, but I'm here with all these millionaire, billionaire, bad boys and girls.

And then they go back to their real world jobs where they are sucking the life out of everybody else around them uh in their

ai companies right now they're developing ai that takes away the jobs of everybody else who couldn't afford to attend burning man and it drives me crazy

well i was really disappointed to see that the orgy tent blew away well i did i was disappointed by that because the best pictures come from the orgy tent actually there's no photography allowed but i've seen some uh yeah that orgy tent is insane

I saw this a couple years ago, and I couldn't believe that it actually existed, but it exists.

And it's insane.

It is a 300 by 400.

It's huge.

They have like 150 beds in there.

And they're beds, some of them together, some of them separated.

There's

curtain walls and all this other stuff.

And here's how it goes.

Based on Reddit posts that I read.

Ready?

Okay.

You go, you check yourself in, right?

There is some version of, are you clean?

Have you been tested?

Blah, blah, blah.

Okay.

You are given condoms.

You are asked to wash.

You are then presented.

You must come at this.

And you are then presented with an opportunity to go fuck somewhere inside of the orgy tent.

You are given a number, and I guess you go to a bed or whatever it is.

But

there are places for group play.

There are places for I'm open to.

There are places for I just want to have sex with my partner.

It's like a sex club.

it's a sex club in a tent in a tent, it's crazy, and you got to like check in.

That's the weirdest part.

I've been to a sex party, and I did check in, and you're gonna like check your clothes and stuff.

It's really weird, so I guess it's very similar to this, but that orgy tent.

I mean, listen, I hate Burning Man and everything it stands for, but at the end of the day,

and I know people are going to go, you've never even been there, you know what it's like.

I'm sure that there are magical experiences anywhere you go.

I have been to Burning Man, not called Burning Man.

I have been there.

I've done it.

And I felt the same way after years of reflection.

I felt the same way.

Now, these weren't millionaire and billionaires.

As a matter of fact, these were the opposite of millionaire and billionaires.

These were dirty fucking hippies, a lot of us, right?

Poor, broke bastards getting together.

But at the end of the day, it's the same kind of like we're living.

It's the same concept.

We're living in an it's fun to party and relax.

I like that part, right?

And if that's why you go to Burning Man, cool.

If that's why you go to Burning Man, but these people are spending millions and millions of dollars putting up tents and erecting things and, you know, driving these huge RVs around and in the middle of a fucking Indian reservation where it bothers everybody else around them.

And then all it is is bad weather and a shitty opportunity for a fucking photograph for Instagram.

Yeah.

Really?

And I agree with you.

Get it somewhere else.

Like, get it somewhere else.

Let's go somewhere else.

Start new.

Start in a new place.

Because I don't want to keep it.

It seems like every year now, it's just about how everything's flooded out or blown away.

Because that's what it is.

The weather out there is extremely unpredictable.

But you can predict that every year it's going to be unpredictable and it's going to blow shit away and it's going to become a mud pile and there's going to be some rainstorm and there's going to be people are going to get electrocuted, which they do.

It seems like every fucking year, somebody gets electrocuted.

There was somebody that died.

Someone got murdered.

Murdered and they hadn't been able to identify him.

That's crazy.

That's crazy.

How fucked up are you?

How fucked up did you get during the murder when you can't be identified?

I know.

Two years ago, some dude ran into the fire.

Like he committed suicide by running into the burning man.

He was the burning man inside the burning man.

Oh, my God.

That's not funny.

That's not funny, but it's kind of it's

I mean, I guess it's the ultimate

fuck you to life.

I don't know.

I mean, that's what happens.

Now, reports say that there was no drugs or alcohol in his system, which makes it even a little bit wilder of a story.

But he, like ran past security and people who are supposed to keep people away from this huge burning effigy.

He just ran past all of them and ran into the fire.

Like, what?

There was another woman that had a baby and did she this, and, but she didn't know she was pregnant.

How do you not have a bad thing?

I don't know.

I just don't know.

Wasn't it like a 19-year-old girl who was with her mom?

And then there was like...

No, it was a couple.

It was?

Yeah.

I thought it was like a young girl.

It was in the New York Times.

I'll pull up the.

Yeah, pull up the thing.

But she, yes, she did not know she was pregnant, but luckily there were doctors and nurses there to deliver the baby in a safe manner.

Surprise.

I came to Burning Man to do K and cocaine all weekend long, and I came home with a baby.

That's crazy.

I know.

It's really crazy.

I watch these videos, these endless torrent of videos around Burning Man, and they all seem to say one thing.

I am miserable, but my life is better than yours because I'm here.

God.

You know what I'm saying?

And it's just

Instagram.

That is what Instagram has become.

It's like, my life is miserable, but this picture shows that it's better than yours.

I can appreciate the escapism of Burning Man.

And I understand I've never been there, but I've been there.

She was 37.

Oh, she was 37.

Yes, Miss Thompson was giving birth to the first minutes later, Miss Thompson was giving birth to the first child, a three-pound, nine-ounce baby girl in the bathroom of their camper.

The couple had not been planning for a child and had no idea that she was pregnant.

How do you not know?

Even if the nurses at the hospital were like, you don't look like you were pregnant at all.

Miss Thompson said, she works in medical billing.

Geez.

I didn't have any symptoms.

Well,

I mean, isn't like not having a period for nine months a symptom?

Right.

And yeah, like,

I don't know.

I don't get that.

Your boobs are getting bigger, your nipples hurt.

You're getting hair on your back.

You're getting something something kicking around.

I don't know.

I mean, geez.

I mean, three pounds, nine ounces.

That's on the small side.

Yeah, so I guess that it was a premature baby.

And thank God the baby's okay.

And I feel really bad about anybody who passes away anywhere of terrible circumstances like getting murdered or electrocuted.

But this has just become like a sign of everything, in my opinion, that's kind of wrong with society, right?

You go there and it's supposed to be a self-sustaining community of people.

Leave no trace.

Leave no trace.

You gift each other.

You barter.

There's no money doesn't mean anything here.

It's all about your abilities and your talents and it's all about the great art.

Meanwhile, the art is kind of shitty in general.

I mean, it really is.

It's kind of weird and shitty and general.

And some of it's nice, but you know, whatever.

And I'm not an artist or an art critic, obviously.

But then what you've got is a bunch of billionaires funding a week-long party, essentially.

Because didn't you read something about

it's been insolvent for years, and there's like four

or five major dollars or something?

There was a $20 million shortfall.

They put out a call to the community: can you donate $10,000, $20,000, $30,000, $10,000 to keep Burning Man going?

Here's the thing.

They've always kept the cost of regular tickets purchased like a month or longer ahead of time at $575.

So they're trying to keep it reasonable for the week.

Okay, I appreciate that.

But it costs over $800

in costs for every person of the 80,000 that can attend.

They cap it at 80,000.

And that's probably for good reason because it's already like you see people, they're waiting in line for 38 hours to get into burning me.

Fuck that, dude.

Fuck that.

If I'm waiting three hours, I'm out.

I'm finding the local Hilton and I'm I'm going there.

Right.

So 38 hours they're waiting in their fucking RVs and waiting to get in because of whatever.

And every person has to be checked in and, you know, to check for drugs, all this other shit.

And check to be sure you have drugs.

Check to make sure you have drugs.

Yes, because I've never appropriated quantity.

It apparently isn't working.

It's insane.

So

$800, so they're losing $300, $200,000, $300 on every person that attends the festival times $80,000.

I don't know my math, but that's a lot, right?

Their $20 million shortfall two years ago, they put out a call and no one answered.

They didn't raise even a percentage of the money that they needed

to keep it going.

So they went to their billionaire donor class and they said, Hey, we need this money, or seriously, we're not even the Porta Pattis alone are like $3 million every year.

They said, We're not going to be able to do this.

And you know what?

There were six people, six people, and four of them donated over 80% of the funds needed to keep the festival going.

And it happened again last year, and it happened again this year.

And so there's just four people or five people, according to this article that I read, that are continuing to fund this huge party.

Great for you, but honestly, like, have a party in your backyard.

I mean, just have a party in your backyard for a week.

What are you doing?

Go rent out an island somewhere and have a party for your friends all week.

What are we doing?

Leave no trace.

You're bringing generators and barrels of water and entire propane trucks, helicopters and private planes, huge RVs riding over this incredibly desolate area.

Yeah.

For what reason?

So you could burn some dude at the end of your

fucking ayahuasca trip?

Yeah.

It means something.

You can find meaning in any party, anywhere, any party.

I haven't been to Burning Man, but I've been to Burning Man.

And I will tell you right now, it's not as important as you think it is.

And when four billionaires are essentially funding your party, it's not the altruistic event you believe it to be.

What it is, is it's just an excuse to go sit in your car for 38 hours to get into Burning Man, to sit in your car for another three fucking days because there's a sandstorm outside that's going to kill everybody.

Yeah, God.

God bless America.

Take more cocaine.

Let's take a break.

We'll be back.

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB.

It's pretty simple.

Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command.

Do you want to help Astrid too?

You know you do.

Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3 TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

You can be on the show too.

Just call and say something.

Anything.

Or text us and we'll text you right back.

Promise.

Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker.

It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide.

You get the point.

Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com/slash thecommercial break.

Best to you and Astrid.

Especially Astrid.

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Maybe I'm just miserable because it's my birthday and I'm getting older.

You were scrooging at your birthday.

I would say maybe I'm out of the target demographic of Burning Man, but I actually think I'm right in the demographic of Burning Man.

Seems like a lot of those people have been going for a long time.

And by the way, I'm not the only one saying something very similar.

There are people who have been going to Burning Man for a long time who are saying something very similar to what I'm saying, that it's really changed.

And I also understand that when you have a good idea initially, like, let's go somewhere.

Yeah.

The burning community started by a few people, like it always is, who like to set stuff on fire.

And then they have this kind of altruistic version of what it means to be setting things on fire, I suppose.

And that it means, you know, new life, ash to ashes, dust to dust, all this other stuff.

Let's celebrate Mother Nature.

Let's, you know.

Mother Nature seems to be saying something different.

Mother Nature seems to be saying, fuck you.

Get out of my desert.

Yeah.

Take your man and go burn it somewhere else.

Burn it in your backyard, baby.

So, I mean, you know, I understand that at the beginning, this is probably a very

good-hearted,

well-intentioned thing that they are doing.

But it has eaten itself alive.

And now it's just the thing that I'm sure that no one ever wanted.

But the people who started it or who are currently in control of it or whatever, and I don't know those people, I have no idea who they are.

I'm sure they're trying their best somewhere in their heads and their hearts they're trying to do something good for the larger community

but you have attracted a bunch of people who are doing the opposite i don't mind billionaires i am not one of these people who's all angry with a billionaire but to be a billionaire and there are many of them now I don't think you always have, I think sometimes you have to make decisions that are not in the best interest of the people around you in order to get, to accumulate that kind of wealth.

These are people who are creating AI companies with no guardrails, who are running social media companies with no guardrails, who are, you know,

probably have some environmentally disastrous company with no guardrails, you know, and they're policing themselves for one week at an event where they will pay someone else to pick up their trash, bring their water, service their RVs,

set up their tents, set up their tents, put their helicopter landing pad together, make sure that the private plane can land on a strip, all that other stuff.

Think about that.

Leave no trace, but make sure the landing strip can put my Lear jet on it.

It's incredibly stupid.

And like everything in 2025, just like me, just like you, just like Chrissy, we're all a little bit hypocritical.

And this has jumped the shark.

As far as I'm concerned, it's jumped the shark.

Yeah, I mean, I saw pictures years ago and I was like, eh,

why are people doing that?

I don't know.

I mean, I like a good festival, but yeah.

I knew a guy who went to Burning Man.

This would have been.

Well, we know the couple that goes, that used to go.

Who?

Oh, yo, yo,

exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're in like Sardinia, right?

Right, right.

On their summer break.

Yeah, exactly.

You know, mom and dad gave them a lot of money and

I love them.

Yes.

When you're with them, they're beautiful and they're a beautiful family and lovely, lovely, lovely.

But they have accumulated wealth, not through a lot of their, they work hard, but they are not wealthy because of their own hard work.

They're wealthy because they got a head start.

That's just a luck of the genetic draw.

And I ain't angry with them about it.

I'm really not.

But I think they also kind of epitomize this little like, you know, eating your own young thing that I'm talking about, which is,

you know, we talk a big game, but then,

you know, we don't really, we talk a big game, but we don't separate our own trash.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, that's just one of the things, someone else does that for us.

It's a, it's, we pay somebody to do that.

Right.

And then we take beautiful pictures and put them on Instagram.

That's exactly what they do.

But of all the hypocrisy that runs in this world right now, we can, I think with confidence, say that there is one person, one single human being who speaks truth to pile,

speaks truth to power, who runs the flag of honesty no matter where he goes.

He tells it like it is.

He calls it as he sees it.

He is a man of integrity.

Brian Greene.

Charlie Sheen.

Close.

Close.

Charlie fucking Sheen.

Oh, my God.

Winning.

God, winning.

We were just talking about this.

This is so funny.

This is crazy.

Because we were just talking about

it.

Because I was like, what was the saying?

I couldn't remember the saying.

It was a winning thing.

I don't even know what made us talk about this.

And

then all of a sudden, there's a freaking documentary coming up.

That's it.

I think we were talking to one of our guests about Charlie Sheen, weren't we?

I think we were.

Charlie fucking Sheen has a tell-all documentary that is coming out on Netflix, I think it is.

I think so, yeah.

That is coming out on Netflix.

We have watched the trailer.

It's accumulated millions of views already.

It is supposedly a no-holds-barred look at the life and times of Charlie fucking Sheen.

And if there is one guy I want to know more about, I want the videos, the receipts, the images, it's Charlie fucking Sheen because never in the history of entertainment has anyone been such a public train wreck without any apologies.

Maybe with the exception of some of the rock and roll bands in the 70s that were like fucking women with fish and stuff like that.

But there are no pictures and videos of that.

Charlie Gene, however, there are.

I know there are.

And I think we're about to see that.

I cannot wait.

His drug dealer is in the trailer of the documentary.

His drug dealer.

Confirming that Charlie was buying eight gram crack rocks and smoking them at one time.

Oh my God.

I just, I cannot wait for this.

I did see, though, too, that did notice that he's got a new movie coming out, too.

Oh, it's all time.

Yeah, it's all time.

Yeah, tied in with that.

It was hot shots, hot shots, part due.

Hot shots part due.

I think so.

Wow.

Okay.

Listen.

All right.

Cool.

Hot shots one, not my, not the funniest movie.

I think Naked Gun was, did it much better, but still a good movie.

You know, watchable, serviceable.

So hot shots two, maybe we'll see.

This is all a big PR stunt to get Charlie back in the limelight.

And of course, he's got to do the Maya Copa first.

He's got to say, sobered up.

I'll take it too.

Yeah.

Especially when you're a drug dealer

showing up at the commercial break.

I mean, honestly, I'd have to have like a seven-page document to tell him what he can and cannot discuss.

But it seems like this guy's pretty willing to say anything.

Well, yeah, one of the things

on the trailer, it was with Charlie saying, you know, they were asking him, is there anything off, you know, off limits?

And he's like, no, no.

Yeah, no fucking way.

First of all, Charlie looks good.

Yeah.

He looks like he, and apparently he has been sober.

I said that Charlie wasn't sober.

I was mistaken.

Charlie is sober, or according to him, he is sober.

And so many celebrities show up in just this trailer to talk about Charlie Sheen and how talented an actor he was.

And he was a talented actor.

Yes.

And he did that two and a half men.

Yeah, that way he was being paid like a

hundred million dollars a season.

Yeah.

Because it went into syndication and he signed a contract and like three years into this hundred million dollar a year contract, season contract, whatever it was, he blew up.

Literally.

He literally blew up.

And we watched it real time.

I mean, that's when Twitter was kind of really just getting going.

Yes.

And I mean, he was tweeting.

Yeah.

I was so fascinated by all of that.

Everybody was,

you know, captivated.

He was on that, like Diane Sawyer was interviewing him, and he's like, I smoke eight gram rocks.

I got to go, baby.

His mind is so fast.

He talks so quick.

I mean, he's just like, I'm not saying any of this is to be lauded or applauded.

I'm just sharing with you that it is ultimately fascinating to get inside of the mind of a guy who, first of all, comes from a storied family of entertainers.

His dad was very much the same way.

If you don't know the story of Martin Sheen on the set of Apocalypse Now,

then you don't know anything about entertainment because it is one of the craziest fucking stories.

Let me share a little bit of it and then we'll get back to Charlie.

Martin Sheen, a young Martin Sheen, gets cast in the movie Apocalypse Now, which in and of itself was apparently

a documentary about the making of the Heart of Darkness.

Yes, I watched it.

It was great.

It's fucking crazy.

I know it is.

When the documentary about your movie is more fascinating than the movie, which won Academy Awards, and so did the documentary, because it took so long to make so many millions of dollars, and so many fucking crazy things happened on that set, including Martin Sheen having a heart attack on set.

That's right.

He had a heart attack on set.

Yeah, they had to stop the production for a little while, right?

Yes.

In the beginning of the movie, The End by the Doors, This is The End, My Only Friend, The End, which is one of the craziest, creepiest, and most incredible songs ever.

put on celluloid, is playing.

And Martin Sheen is running around a hotel room, room, throwing things against the wall, cutting himself, bleeding all over the place, going bananas.

Do you want to know what?

Not in the script.

It was Martin Sheen running around the hotel room,

cutting himself, banging his head against a wall, thrashing about a bed, bleeding all over the place.

That is unscripted.

They just ran the cameras while he was literally having like an alcoholic breakdown.

So Charlie comes from a family who knows all about it, right?

Yeah.

He went bananas.

He had prostitutes,

porn stars.

He went just all out, all out.

And he was inviting people in to watch it all happen.

We all got invited in to watch Charlie smoke eight gram crack rocks while he was having sex with porn stars and living in the lap of luxury.

all the while making a fabulous amount of money doing this two and a half men until he wasn't.

And they kicked him off.

Yeah,

they frowned upon that.

They frowned upon the crack rock, but they still paid him the money.

And now he's back and he's here to tell us all about it.

And you got to appreciate the guy's honesty.

I mean, I appreciated the honesty back then.

But now to come back and say, let's revisit all of that, and I'll tell you what's really going on a little more clear-eyed than I was before, is just amaze balls.

Good for Netflix.

One of the things about Netflix is

we get to see

all these stories,

the documentary

genre of movie making has exploded under Netflix.

I'm a huge fan of documentaries.

Because I love to hear some of these stories, and I don't think they would be told otherwise, or they'd be at some weird art house cinema that you'd never see, and you'd have to go to Blockbuster and look for days to find it.

I mean, just lovely.

Charlie, God bless America.

God bless you.

I hope you tell it.

I love the story that Charlie Sheen tells about Donald Trump.

Have you ever heard this?

I don't know that I have.

He told us on the Graham Norton show, and I hope I'm getting this right.

I'm sure people will correct me if I'm wrong.

He tells the story where he goes out with Trump somewhere.

He meets him, sees him, and Charlie admires his watch.

He says, that's a nice watch you got there.

Trump says, you like it?

It's one of a kind.

It's a million dollar, whatever.

It's $100,000, million-dollar Olobolo, you know, watch engraved, fancy, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada.

And at the end of the conversation, Trump takes off the watch and he hands it to Charlie and he says, here, have it.

And Charlie said, no, I can't take that.

You know, that's crazy.

And he said, no, you're the great Charlie Sheen.

I want you to have it.

You admired it.

I want you to have it.

And he's like, it's too much.

It's a, you know, a million-dollar watch or whatever.

And he said, eh, it's nothing for me.

Take it.

And Charlie takes the watch.

And then during all of this turmoil, right?

When he was going through this two and a half men thing, he was high on something and he's having a party.

And the guy comes over and the guy is like a rare collectible appraiser, and he's appraising some things in Charlie's house, probably so he can pawn it to get a crack.

Right?

I'm gonna give that to the, yeah, like I used to do: hey, D,

I'll give you my cell phone for a week.

Uh,

and so he goes, Tell me about that watch.

He's got

the watch sitting on his dresser.

He says, Tell me about that watch.

I think it's worth a couple hundred thousand, whatever the number is.

And the guy looks at it and he goes, and on the bottom, it says made in Taiwan.

It's like he looks at it with a, like one of those little monocles, monocles.

It says made in Taiwan.

And the guy goes, I don't think this is worth 35 bucks.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

Fake to the end.

Fake to the end.

Wow.

That's crazy.

I hope we hear all the stories.

I really do.

I hope we get all the stories and all the juice.

I'm going to watch it twice.

God love America.

Hey, real quick, I want to say thank you to a lot of the

listeners who texted in to say, some people are so sweet.

They're like, take as much time as you need.

Don't worry about the commercial break.

Shut up for a little while.

Take as much time as you need.

Give that voice a rest.

Yeah.

And they said, please

get well.

And I really appreciate it.

It hits at the heart when you're sick and then there's a bunch of people out there that you don't really know all that well, except for texting.

And they say, get well.

Yeah.

There's a special kind of warmth that comes from that.

It gives me a tickle right of my pickle.

Thank you very much.

And also, we got quite the reaction to our story about the Appalachian Trail.

So

I told one of our listeners, I've told that story so many times

because it's one of those life stories that you have in your back pocket that you know will get a good giggle.

Yeah, I mean, it's one I'll never forget.

It's just so funny.

It is funny.

It's a good one.

Like, I mean, I'm picturing us, like, I said, didn't we get we went to like fresh market beforehand and picked up like nice cheese and crackers.

We did a whole lot of people.

We were taking like a whole picnic.

I think we were all over that.

I mean honestly we thought we had a thing going on and then got lost.

Yeah and I also think they were talking about the other Appalachian Trail story where I got lost.

Oh where you're yeah.

And your Doc Martens and Chane Woolly.

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

I wonder whatever happened to those two girls.

I know what happened to one of them.

Okay.

But I don't know what happened to the other one.

So very interesting.

All right.

Well, hey, hey, listen, those of you who purchase merch, your merch is on the way.

So it should be, I just want to let you know that.

It'll be on the way.

212-433-3TCB.

212-433-3822.

Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas?

We'd love to hear from you.

Get involved in the conversation.

Give us a text message.

I will text you back or Asher will or Chrissy will.

Somebody will.

Yeah, we'll respond.

Yeah, we'll respond.

We try and do it quickly.

I usually like to think that two days,

every two days, I like to sit down and respond to all the messages.

When I came back from Labor Day, we had like 58 messages.

And I was like, holy shit.

At the commercial break on Instagram, please follow us.

We put clips up there every day behind the scenes.

Not yet, but we will.

We're going to think about trying.

We're going to think about trying to do that.

We have a Twitter.

I don't know what it is.

We had a TikTok.

I'm not sure if it's still open.

Just go to the commercial break on Instagram.

Also, youtube.com slash the commercial break for all the episodes on video.

The same day they air here on the audio.

You can go check out the patent Osmond video, which has just patent.

So there you go.

That'll give you a sense of the tech difficulty that we have.

There you go.

TCBpodcast.com.

All the audio, all the video, and your free TCB sticker.

Woo!

Okay, Chrissy, after a long vacation week, not planned.

I guess that's all I can.

I think so.

Say that I love you.

I love you, and happy birthday.

Thank you.

Best to you.

Best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe until tomorrow, Chrissy, and I will say.

We do say, and we must say.

Goodbye.

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Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was queer.

He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now.

Charlie's sober.

He's going to tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

AKA Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

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