Nor Land, Nor Sea, Nor John Cousteau!

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Speaker 3 Gonna go out.

Speaker 3 go out tonight.

Speaker 3 Gonna

Speaker 3 get down

Speaker 3 and get in the knife fight.

Speaker 3 Taking you out

Speaker 3 out on the town,

Speaker 3 tackle a stranger,

Speaker 3 roll on the ground.

Speaker 3 I'm entitled to more

Speaker 3 That's who I am

Speaker 3 I'm taking what's yours

Speaker 3 Because I can

Speaker 3 You're in my lane, you're taking my spot

Speaker 3 My burger has cheese, you've lost the plot

Speaker 3 I'm beating you up and posting online

Speaker 3 I need more attention, what's yours now mine?

Speaker 3 Come watch me right now.

Speaker 3 I'm angry and mad.

Speaker 3 Making you smaller makes me less sad.

Speaker 3 I've come here to rage, spill out of my head.

Speaker 3 Turn rage into riots, you heard what I said.

Speaker 3 Got out of my way, the rules don't apply.

Speaker 3 I'm simple and silly, an eye for an eye.

Speaker 3 I'm better than you.

Speaker 3 I'm better than you.

Speaker 3 I'm pretty and smooth.

Speaker 3 What can you do?

Speaker 3 I'm richer than you.

Speaker 3 I'm taller than you.

Speaker 3 You cannot do

Speaker 3 what I will outdo.

Speaker 2 On this episode of the Commercial Break,

Speaker 2 there are literally millions of species of whatever the fuck living under our feet, under the water, that we have never discovered, we have yet to discover or study or name or any of that.

Speaker 2 And that to me is insanity. Just when you think you got it all licked because you've been watching a lot of Nat Geo, then you figure out that I really don't know shit, and neither does anyone else.

Speaker 2 We don't have this all figured out,

Speaker 2 yes.

Speaker 2 We don't have this all figured out, kids. I just got news for you.
Mother Nature is a big, mammoth, hairy, lovely, beautiful woman, but she is by far way out of our purview.

Speaker 2 We don't know, we don't understand, we just don't get it.

Speaker 2 The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 boys. Oh, yeah, Captain Kittens.
Welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green.
This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

Speaker 2 Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Thanks for joining us. I'm watching a reel as we're going into the show

Speaker 2 about a guy who bought a million-dollar yacht and he's launching it out of Turkey where the boat was built. So it was just they're going to slide it into the water as they do with these big boats.

Speaker 2 And he slides it into the water. Yeah, it's like a little toy.
It's unbelievable. They do that with the biggest of ships also.
You know, like the Disney cruise line.

Speaker 2 They just like slide it down a ramp. Hope it stays forward.
It all seems so kind of rambunctious for

Speaker 2 such a large thing.

Speaker 2 So they slide it, you know, backwards into the water and the captain is on it, the new owner, and I guess I'm assuming somebody from the company to help him figure out how to use it.

Speaker 2 It goes into the water, tips over sideways, sideways, and it's upside down in less than two minutes.

Speaker 2 And so the captain had to swim back to shore.

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Hope it has insurance. Yeah.
I mean, because I think the rule is, once it hits the water and you are the owner, if you're on it, you've taken control of the ship.

Speaker 2 I mean, I don't know the ins and outs of yacht owning. I'm not a maritime law expert, but my uncle is.
I would be saying

Speaker 2 refund or

Speaker 2 remake. Yeah, remake.
Yeah. Why did it tip over sideways? It seems like that was defective building.

Speaker 2 Yeah, when it just tips over sideways like that, either it's really top-heavy on one side or there's a lot of water coming in on one side of the boat.

Speaker 2 You know that my uncle is the pre-imminent attorney of maritime law in like the world. I did not know that.
He helped write a lot of the insurance and shipping rules around pirating

Speaker 2 and how insurance companies handle

Speaker 2 pirating and kidnapping and all this other stuff. Pirates are a real thing even now.
Pirates are a real thing, and they're not just a real thing in the places where you think they might be.

Speaker 2 This is not like pirates of the Caribbean, though they have pirates in the Caribbean. That's not the places where you're most scared.
It's like around the Horn of Africa,

Speaker 2 up into the like, you know, the Straits of Juarez or whatever it is, Suez, the Suez Canal, all those different places.

Speaker 2 But now it happens quite frequently all around the world, including one that I watched. A guy was trying to steal a boat in Florida.
Like

Speaker 2 they show up in this little dinghy, they pull up next to a boat that I wouldn't target for pirating if it was me. It just looks like a shitty houseboat to me.

Speaker 2 But they pull up and one guy jumps out to get, you know, to jump onto the ship that he's trying to commandeer and he falls into the water.

Speaker 2 grabs onto one of the bumpers like they have on the side of the boat and he's begging begging the guy who owns the boat who's taking the video, to let him on board because he doesn't

Speaker 2 swim.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, and the guy's like, You just tried to take over my boat. Why would I let you on my ship?

Speaker 2 And eventually, cooler heads prevail, and he does let him on the boat, but then he ties him up in a white street.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was going to say, I'd be calling the police right away.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just uh, anyway, I don't know how we got on this subject because I was watching yachting, I was watching a real yachting, yachting, and your uncle, who's the

Speaker 2 pirate

Speaker 2 A lawyer on international shipping and zeal. He's in Indianapolis.
I bet he's interesting to talk to you. He is.
He's spoken at like the UN. He's done a lot of stuff.

Speaker 2 Now, it's all a lot of paperwork, right? It's all a lot of legal jargon. And international maritime law is just what it sounds like.
It's international. It's on the ocean.

Speaker 2 And it's only as good as the people who agree to adhere to it. And so I'm sure there's a lot of like loosey-goosey bullshit that goes on in international maritime law.

Speaker 2 But he is one of those attorneys that just kind of helped form the field, so to speak, as shipping companies grew increasingly concerned over their goods and their wares and their people.

Speaker 2 And what do we do? And how do we handle it? Right. Who gets paid out when this happens? Or how do you handle a kidnapping or a hijacking of a boat? How is that all?

Speaker 2 How is the minutiae handled in the paperwork? And so the devil's in the details. And my uncle writes the details.
So there you go. That's crazy.
Well, there's a lot of like offshore oil drilling too.

Speaker 2 And I've heard those things are dangerous.

Speaker 2 I don't really know, but I've watched a lot of documentary footage and like a lot of YouTube videos and social media videos about people who are out on those shoes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I met somebody on a plane one time, a guy, and he was like on his way. Yeah.
to go do that. I think he was, I think I was on my way to New Orleans and he was going there too.

Speaker 2 And he was going to get on one of those rigs out in the ocean for months at a time.

Speaker 2 I also knew a guy in my 20s who would come to one of the bars that I worked at, and he would come in, like there would be like a two-month stretch where he was there every other night. Yeah.
A lot.

Speaker 2 He was young. He was probably my age at the time, so early 20s.
And then he would be gone for six months at a time because he was out. off the coast in Houston.
He would like be out in Houston.

Speaker 2 He'd get on a helicopter. They'd drop him off.
He'd live there for three or four months.

Speaker 2 You know, sometimes if he had a day off or a weekend off and he could swing it, they would helicopter him back to Houston so he could touch land and, you know, get fresh clothes or whatever it was.

Speaker 2 But he got paid a dickload of money. Yeah, you get paid a lot of money.
Yeah, you sure do. And then I was watching a video regarding the people who go down and fix the pipes when there's problems.

Speaker 2 We're talking about the guys like the underwater welder types that go fix issues.

Speaker 2 I know you know this because I know that our audience is pretty smart in general. At least I like to think you are.
In my brain, brain, you're smart. They are.
They're extremely smart.

Speaker 2 Smarter than the average listener. The average podcast listener.
Well, or smarter than the average podcast host, which would be me. So

Speaker 2 when you

Speaker 2 dial up a website in Amsterdam or Spain, or you make an international phone call, or you're transferring data, you're on whatever, those lines of communication.

Speaker 2 frequently happen in the air on satellites, but they more frequently happen in underwater cables. That's That's right.
That's right. And those cables are literally strung across the Atlantic.

Speaker 2 And there's hundreds of them, if not thousands of them at this point. And so people have to service those lines.

Speaker 2 They have to go way far underwater and they have to work in incredible conditions in pressure bells, in vessels.

Speaker 2 It takes them months to decompress.

Speaker 2 It's a weird life living like as a decompression diver. If you've seen that kind of, have you ever seen that?

Speaker 2 Did you watch the most recent like the Woody Harrelson movie about the guys who were doing decompression diving? No.

Speaker 2 Okay, true story. They go out on a ship that they are going to go down and fix some kind of oil well, right? Okay.
And this ship is incredibly,

Speaker 2 it's like the latest and greatest in technology. It's got a hundred different positioning

Speaker 2 motors, like small motors that help the boat position satellite navigation.

Speaker 2 It can literally put the divers within feet above where they're supposed to be and sit there and make sure that the boat stays still while the decompression divers live in a decompression chamber at the bottom of the ship.

Speaker 2 And what that does is essentially they lower or they raise the pressure slowly over a period of time with helium and they put them in the same pressure environment that they're going to experience hundreds or a thousand feet underwater.

Speaker 2 These guys get paid a dickload of money, but but they're gone for a long time and they have to live in a decompression chamber, which is like the size of two of these rooms.

Speaker 2 And probably not great for your body, but I don't know, right? No, I mean, helium, they sound weird.

Speaker 2 They actually talk in what you would think of as someone who just sucked a bunch of helium, but apparently it doesn't do any damage to your lungs or your brain.

Speaker 2 But in the real life documentary, they talk in this super Mickey-Mousey type voice, but they're living in this decompression chamber for weeks or months at a time.

Speaker 2 So they get their bodies adjusted to the pressure.

Speaker 2 And then when the boat gets over wherever they're supposed to be, they get, they open up the hatch and they go down with all these wires attached to them, including hot water and air. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 2 So on one fateful night, I think out in the North Sea, three of them go to do this dive.

Speaker 2 The old grizzled veteran, the Tom Cruise-like hard-nosed, badass diver, and then the rookie, the guy who's just on the sea. Which was Woody? Woody was the grizzled veteran.

Speaker 2 Yeah, at this point, Woody's the grizzled veteran, right? He was the newbie in cheers. That was 42 years ago.

Speaker 2 But I don't care. I'll take Woody Harrelson anytime.
Anyway, I can get it.

Speaker 2 Okay. All right.
So, and this is a true story, by the way. True story.
So Woody stays above.

Speaker 2 directing, making sure that the wire, the lines don't get, you know, caught up, making sure that the water pressure for the hot water is on and that it's warm enough and that the air is going through these incredibly long, you know, essentially umbilical cords for these guys to survive.

Speaker 2 And these guys had these huge helmets on, just like you think of the old style, old

Speaker 2 Jules Verne, Jules Verne, like a Jules Verne novel, 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, or like you see in your friend's fish tank, he should have cleaned, the guy with the bubbles coming out of his head.

Speaker 2 That's the kind of suit that they're wearing. Right.

Speaker 2 But their bodies are now accommodated to this pressure, the incredible pressure of having, you know, 5747s smooshing in on you. And they're down there to fix this big, huge well box.

Speaker 2 Imagine something that's like the size of my house. Okay.
And they got to go in there and they got to do some work on this. Maintenance.
Maintenance.

Speaker 2 Up above, on the ship above the diving bell, which is down like, you know, 600, 800 feet below them, that also has an umbilical connected to it.

Speaker 2 The ship is experiencing rough seas. There's a storm.
It's the middle of the night. And all of this sudden, all of these little motors that keep them in check fail.
It all fails at the same time.

Speaker 2 The technology fails. There's a glitch in the system.
It's rebooting. Wheel of death, Apple wheel of death, you know, it's just spinning.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And the ship starts moving all over the place, dragging the diving bell with it. And then the diving bell is dragging the divers with it.

Speaker 2 And one of the guys gets stuck on this big contraption down there and his umbilical snaps. Oh.

Speaker 2 And for, I can't remember what the exact amount of time was, but he had 42 minutes worth of air left in his personal, he had like an air canister on his back. Okay, yeah.
Like 42 minutes of air left.

Speaker 2 He no longer has any warm water keeping his body warm. He's in like, you know, 30 degree water, whatever.
I mean, you know, 33 degree water.

Speaker 2 And he has no direct source of air except for the 42 minutes he's got left. I can see why this was a movie.
And he's down there for like, if I'm not mistaken, four and a half hours. Oh, God.

Speaker 2 And these guys, Woody Harrelson and the other Tom Cruise, like badass dude, once the badass dude manages to drag himself back up while this ship is dragging them all around the bottom of the sea floor, he's like, I lost him, but I promised him I'd come back.

Speaker 2 And they make the decision. We're going to go back and we're going to find him.
The ship finds a way to, you know, manually get itself back in position. Everyone up top is freaking out.

Speaker 2 Everyone down below is freaking out. And they eventually managed to get to this guy and pull him up into this diving bell.
Like many hours have passed since he should have been dead.

Speaker 2 And miraculously, after like 15, 20 minutes, he pops his eyes open. No brain damage.
No, nada. The guy like comes back to the.
That's incredible.

Speaker 2 I need to look at this movie. I need to watch this.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Chrissy, I saw the documentary first, which I think, quite frankly, is a much more intense version of this story because there is actual footage from the ship at the time, like inside the ship.

Speaker 2 But the movie was a pretty good short watch in and of itself. Let me see if I can find the name of it.
Now I got to tell everybody what it's on Netflix, I think.

Speaker 2 Harrelson diving movie. Yeah, and speaking of underwater stuff, I was just watching a home show the other day, and they went to go pick out their slab of marble,

Speaker 2 their kitchen, and whatever. And I didn't realize there were these slabs of

Speaker 2 stone that are harvested or quarried or whatever it's called underneath the ocean near Brazil. Oh, I didn't realize that either.
Yeah. No shit.
Really? It's pretty crazy.

Speaker 2 There's got to be some guy doing that too, down there cutting it. Yeah, it's or a robot or something like that, but somebody has to be down there with him.
Okay, three. They were 300 feet down.

Speaker 2 It's called Last Breath, in case you want to watch it. I do believe that it's on Netflix.

Speaker 2 He had 29 minutes of oxygen and

Speaker 2 whose oxygen ran out 29. Okay, excuse me, not hours later.
He was a 40, it was, it was like 41 minutes. He was without oxygen.
Got it. Still, 41 minutes without oxygen.
That's a lot.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's crazy. I mean, that is just like literally insane.
And so, speculation, miracle, or just mitochondria, or what happened?

Speaker 2 My personal belief is there's got to be some scientific explanation. Some scientists have posed that because of the extreme cold, that his body shut down, allowing him to need much less oxygen.

Speaker 2 He slowed down every process in his body, allowing him to need much less oxygen and therefore saving his life. But the guy came out like unscathed.
Jeez. It's like a Tuesday afternoon.

Speaker 2 And he went back diving.

Speaker 2 Fuck that. There are two places on this earth that I am not interested in going to.
It's the bottom of the ocean and space. And space.
Those two places I just could stay out of.

Speaker 2 Do you know what's down in the ocean? Scary aliens. Yes, I know.
I've read any. I've seen the James Cameron things and all the deep sea stuff.
It's like, you know, deep, deep sea earth or whatever.

Speaker 2 And yeah, it's all albino, too, because it doesn't see light. It's

Speaker 2 sorry, I don't know what that was. I pressed the wrong one there.

Speaker 2 It is all fucking scary. It is very scary.

Speaker 2 I saw a reel this morning of the telescope fish, which is this like albino, translucent ghost fish that has the jaws of a scary, weird comic book creature and two huge, translucent eyes, and it eats other fish that manage to make their way down to the bottom of like, you know, the Mariana Trench or whatever.

Speaker 2 In this reel, it said that there are more species of animal and bacteria and blah, blah, blah, creatures, fish, whatever, underwater

Speaker 2 than there are discovered on top of water by like a hundred-fold.

Speaker 2 There are literally millions of species of whatever the fuck living under our feet, under the water, that we have never discovered, we have yet to discover or study or name or any of that.

Speaker 2 And that to me is insanity. Just when you think you got it all licked because you've been watching a lot of Nat Geo, then you figure out that I really don't know shit.
and neither does anyone else.

Speaker 2 We don't have this all figured out. We're still discovering stuff.
Yes.

Speaker 2 We don't have this all figured out, kids. I just got news for you.
Mother Nature is a big, mammoth, hairy, lovely, beautiful woman, but she is by far way out of our purview. We don't know.

Speaker 2 We don't understand. We just don't get it.
I was watching James Cameron's little... Yeah, the sub thing?

Speaker 2 His like weird envelope sub that goes down, you know, to the bottom three miles under the Mariana Trench, which is the deepest part of the ocean so far that we've discovered. Right.

Speaker 2 And there's another guy, you know,

Speaker 2 Jean-Julais Jablais, or whatever his name was.

Speaker 2 Jacques Cousteau? No, it's not Jacques Coustea. He's been dead, but his son's alive.

Speaker 2 John Cousteau. No kidding.

Speaker 2 Just say it with confidence. I did.

Speaker 2 He took five trips down to a part of the ocean where they believed that the tsunamis that hit Indonesia and Bali and all those places, even that terrible tsunami about a decade and a half ago, they believe that it originated from the fact that there's one plate that is moving under what they call it, subversion or something.

Speaker 2 Subversion. I don't know.
One plate's moving under another one. And there is like literally a knuckle, a mountain range that is holding it from releasing more under itself.

Speaker 2 And that when it releases, then the big one comes, like the tsunami that, you know, kills everything within. thousands of miles.
All right.

Speaker 2 But if he could just go down there five times, he could figure out why this is all going on, study new species and figure out why the what we can do about the knuckle.

Speaker 2 And I'm thinking to myself, you fucking bonehead.

Speaker 2 I appreciate that somebody else is going down there to figure all this out on my behalf because he spends like 30 hours in that envelope and he can't piss and he can't stretch his legs and he's like stuck in a weird position.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's right. He's like manning it.
It's just he's in close quarters. And just like the Titan submercible that exploded or imploded or whatever, there's like two tiny little holes you look out.

Speaker 2 What are you really discovering down there? That is dark and cold. But he thinks he's going to beat the mountain range by getting down to the bottom? I don't know.

Speaker 2 It seemed like a really weird task to me, but I understand they,

Speaker 2 I don't know. That's some people's, you know, passion.
Absolutely. I loved it.
When I was a kid, Jacques Cousteau was my hero.

Speaker 2 I wanted to be a marine biologist until I learned that you actually have to go under the water to figure out what's under the water. And take scientific classes.
Fuck that. Both of those things.

Speaker 2 Fuck that. There's a third third thing that's scary to me.
It's science. Right.

Speaker 2 Science. Oh,

Speaker 2 scary, creepy.

Speaker 2 Binocular fish will eat your little ding-dong.

Speaker 2 When you die from a shark attack, your body parts will float down and binocular fish will use its

Speaker 2 telescoping teeth to... crush the last parts of you.

Speaker 2 You will be eaten by the aliens of Earth, also known as telescope fish.

Speaker 2 Those things are scary. So, a lot of that stuff that they found.
And why do we need a close-up? Why do we need a picture that close-up? Like, it's already scary. Why do we need to see it?

Speaker 2 Like, it's got a personality. Like, it's a Disney character or something.

Speaker 2 No, I'm good with snorkeling and perhaps

Speaker 2 scuba diving at some point.

Speaker 2 I'm good with scooby diving. That sounds good to me.
Scooby diving.

Speaker 2 That's eating scooby scubing. I don't want to go down LD.
No, I'm not interested. We went to the Mediterranean and we were on a boat and the guy just, you know,

Speaker 2 ships ahoy. And he throws the anchor and he's like, all right, jump in.
And my kids are like, yeah,

Speaker 2 and I'm like, no, what?

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 What? Huh?

Speaker 2 Shouldn't we go to a beach? Like where we can walk in? Yeah. Do you want us to jump in?

Speaker 2 And the water is like crystal blue, but you still can't see the bottom. And I'm like,

Speaker 2 I don't know. that's a little scary but maybe not even scarier than a lake a lake's a little weird oh i've decided that the lake is the scarier

Speaker 2 i'd much rather be in the ocean give me the sharks the dolphins and the killer whales i'd much rather be in the ocean than the lake because while the ocean has big scary creatures the lake has tiny microscopic creatures yeah that can eat your ears like the

Speaker 2 flesh-eating bacteria yeah they get into your penis and all of a sudden your penis looks like a purple balloon and it's falling off, and you don't know why. You can't 21 EPM.
They can't 21 EPA.

Speaker 2 It's almost Lake Lanier.

Speaker 2 I know. Some jackhole on a 300-foot houseboat is pissing off the side of it, putting syphilis into it and creating a super punch.

Speaker 2 I saw that there was like ahead of the Labor Day weekend, there was like 60% of the beaches had too much fecal matter for you to get into the water.

Speaker 2 All around the coast of the U.S.

Speaker 2 That's promising. Sounds promising.
That's what's going to happen, kids, as it gets warmer and the ocean just can't take care of itself, can't recycle it naturally, it will become something different.

Speaker 2 It will figure out, life will figure out a way. With or without us, it will figure out a way.

Speaker 2 So if it's just like, you know, poopy telescopic monsters just eating the poop off the top of the ocean, well, then guess what? That's what's going to happen.

Speaker 2 And we're not going to be able to swim in it or drink it or bathe in it. And we're all going to die a slow, painful death.
So, happy,

Speaker 2 happy Thursday. Yeah, happy Thursday.
Happy Thursday to you.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 I got an interesting update on a character I don't think you've heard much about in many years.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 he's up to exactly what we thought he'd be up to. So let's take a break.
Frankie? No, no, no, no, no, no. Think Olympian.
Oh. Think

Speaker 2 Olympian. Okay.
Think about Olympian.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 okay.

Speaker 2 Ryan London.

Speaker 2 I was yep.

Speaker 2 He's up to exactly what we imagined. I can't wait to see.
All right, we'll be back.

Speaker 4 Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.

Speaker 4 Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.

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Speaker 2 It's going to be a water-themed episode of the commercial break.

Speaker 2 Speaking of, do you remember when my kids went on my uncle-in-law's brand new million-dollar yacht and directly spilled grape juice all over their white white canvas walls and carpeting that they had to get replaced.

Speaker 2 Well, when we went down to Naples earlier in the summer, they came over from Miami. Okay, I was wondering about that.
Yeah, and I love them.

Speaker 2 They're so great and they're so gracious and they're always nice. You know, and even during all of that drama, don't worry about it.
We got it. It's fine.
You're kids. Kids are kids.

Speaker 2 And I could just tell he wanted to beat me up and throw me off the ship. But, you know, what am I going to do? About your family.
I offered to pay he wouldn't let me okay so

Speaker 2 we go over to miami to go take care of some we go drive from naples i told you to get a valley went and went and did the thing you know at the embassy and all this other stuff and then

Speaker 2 we go over to my uncle-in-law and my aunt-in-law's house because they're going to have a little party for us right everyone's going to come over we're all going to have a little party cook some food have some beer do the cookout

Speaker 2 sounds fun sounds great but now now I have been up since really early in the morning because we had to get up at like 5:30, 5.45 in the morning to get over to Miami in time for our appointment, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 And it's now like three o'clock in the afternoon. So it's been a long afternoon and I'm feeling very tired.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I get in and the

Speaker 2 my aunt-in-law, I'm not going to name him by name. They say, no, no, no, no.
We have an extra room. Go take a nap.
You don't need to worry about that. Everybody's here.
Take care of the kids. Nice.

Speaker 2 Sleep. It's just the way that they are, right? Comfort, family, love.

Speaker 2 My house is your house. Do your thing.
So, plus, you can't speak Spanish, so get lost. I can't, yeah, I can't speak Spanish, so it doesn't matter anyway.
I'm out of the conversation.

Speaker 2 I'm will suffer my fate of having to be able to only understand portions of words when 16 people aren't talking at each other at the same time.

Speaker 2 Um, so I jump in the bed and uh, I'm trying to get a little shut eye. And about 20 minutes in, I hear

Speaker 2 oh my God, everyone's screaming. And I'm like, what is that?

Speaker 2 But no one comes running in to alert me. So I take the opportunity to figure that no one has lost a finger.
Because if they had, I'm sure I would have been the first one in.

Speaker 2 No one seems to like, no one seems to be able to handle blood except for Brian, right? So I'm like, okay, just ignore it. It was something but a glass or whatever.

Speaker 2 Somebody broke broke a glass or whatever it was. So I come out about an hour, hour and a half later after my nap, and Astrid goes, well,

Speaker 2 look at this. For years, I had been going over there.
And they have been, they're like, they don't, they're not art collectors, but they have some art around. Okay.

Speaker 2 And part of what they have is they have some sculptures.

Speaker 2 Right. They have some sculptures that were created by a Venezuelan artist who now lives in Miami, who's very sought after.
He's friends with the family.

Speaker 2 And for years, they've had this same sculpture sitting on the table, the coffee table, and I have seen it every time I have been there for the last decade of my life. And now it is split in half,

Speaker 2 sitting on the kitchen counter.

Speaker 2 And I am like, fuck.

Speaker 2 Well, one of the kids sat on the table and pushed the thing off, and it broke, and you know, whatever. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
He goes, First,

Speaker 2 you spilled wine all over, you spilled grape juice all over the yacht. Now your kids are breaking my sculptures i don't know man i don't know

Speaker 2 and i was like i i don't worry about it so i quickly ascertain who this person was okay how to get a hold of them i find their website that's a good start i send them an email and before anybody knows it before anybody can say anything i've already addressed the situation and explain can you fix it or can you create one similar yeah

Speaker 2 Well, toward the end of the night, I explain, you know, he says, hey, don't worry about the sculpture, man. We'll get it fixed.
He's a friend of the family. We'll figure it out.
Don't worry about it.

Speaker 2 I said, it's already done. It's already done.
And he said, what's already done? And I go, I already emailed the guy.

Speaker 2 I'm fixing it. We're going to get it taken care of.
Don't worry about it.

Speaker 2 And this is the kind of people they are. Because he says, no, no, no, no, no.
You're not fixing it. I'm fixing it.
I will take care of it. Now, like.

Speaker 2 He's telling his wife to text the guy and everyone, now everyone's fighting over who's going to get a hold of him first.

Speaker 2 Well, the guy never texted me back, but in like a week, they got a new one or got it fixed or whatever. Yeah.
And so, you know, they sent me a little ribbing for my birthday, I assume. But, you know,

Speaker 2 look at the brand new sculpture. We, we paid for it.
Right. And I'm like, it was my kids' fault.
They couldn't afford it anyway, but I was going to pretend. Right, right.

Speaker 2 Do you take

Speaker 2 Diners Club?

Speaker 2 You take Amex points?

Speaker 2 Because as soon as I pay my bill, they're going to let me use them. Then it's likely that I'll be able to,

Speaker 2 whatever.

Speaker 2 Ryan. That's good.
Yeah, it's good. They're so sweet.
Turned out okay in the end. Anyway, the third time, though, might be the strikeout.

Speaker 2 I just keep thinking back to the time that he got a brand new Mercedes-Benz, beautiful E-Class convertible, all the accouchement,

Speaker 2 like the really nice version of it. The kind of cars that people in Miami drive.

Speaker 2 The kind of cars that people in Miami drive, the kind of car that you want to drive.

Speaker 2 It's a super luxurious, super comfortable, super beautiful car. And this guy is not showy-offy at all.
He just, he doesn't show off his things. He has things, right?

Speaker 2 And he brings everybody into it. He's always a party.
And this is the same guy whose daughter got married in Spain when we went to that beautiful wedding. Yes.

Speaker 2 We're there for a week and they're just like taking care of everybody. That's just who they are.
They don't give a shit about the money. They give a shit.

Speaker 2 They have it and they care about everybody else around them. And it's not that they're just like willy-nilly

Speaker 2 giving money away, but they're also not counting every dollar because, you know, me, I would be the same too. I have been the same.
That's why I'm broke.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 so I just like, I,

Speaker 2 he gets this Mercedes. I, I'm over there one time.
He pulls up from work. And I'm happen to be outside and he's like, wow.
And I go, wow, whoa, man, that's beautiful. You know, look at that.

Speaker 2 That's beautiful. I'd love to have one of those.
And he goes, here, take it for a ride. And I'm like,

Speaker 2 and all I can think about every time that one of my kids messes up something expensive of his is, thank God I didn't crash the Mercedes fence. Thank God I didn't crash the fucking Mercedes.

Speaker 2 I know. It reminds me of this story.
You know, a friend of ours, I mean, I'll just say his name's Simon, that is kind of like that kind of guy. Yeah.
He's got money, but he invites you in on it.

Speaker 2 Like, yes. I've got it.
Don't worry about it. I've been taking care of it.
What would you like to drink? What would you like to eat? Do you want to take my car for a spin? Same thing.

Speaker 2 We were over there. My dad was at this party that he was having for, like, you know, it was the Emin Park Day or Emin Park, you know,

Speaker 2 what is it? The Emin Park Fest. The Eminem Park Fest.
Yes. So we're over there.
He's got an Aston Martin. And my dad is like, oh, my God, James Bond car.

Speaker 2 Simon's like, bing, take it for a spin. No, shit.
And he let my dad, meanwhile, my dad is going five miles an hour.

Speaker 2 walk. And he pulls it back in like a nervous wreck.

Speaker 2 Yeah, listen, when someone else hands you a vehicle like that, you are sure to be very careful, or you're just a fucking idiot with it. Yes.

Speaker 2 Speaking of Miami, speaking of the water, you know, there's a guy who lives down in Miami who goes in the water a lot.

Speaker 2 He's one of the world's best swimmers, or he was one of the world's best swimmers. The name is Ryan Lochte.
Now, you may or may not remember Ryan Lochte. He was around him, Michael Phelps.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Michael Phelps. They were neck and neck.

Speaker 2 And they were on the same team, but they would compete in a few. And Phelps was the better swimmer every time.
But Ryan was no slouch himself. He was also breaking world records and taking control.

Speaker 2 He was a school in Brazil. What was that thing that he got robbed of? He was drunk.

Speaker 2 He pretended that he had gotten robbed because he was drunk. And he was out gallivanting in the middle of the night where he shouldn't have been outside of the approved zone or whatever.

Speaker 2 In the Olympic village? Yeah, likely looking for drugs. Let's just be honest about it.
But I mean, you're about to swim in the Olympics.

Speaker 2 They're going to piss test you. What are you doing? Why are you out there boozing it up? Or maybe he was done.

Speaker 2 Either he was done.

Speaker 2 Ryan was never the straightest of swimmers. And I don't mean that in a sexual way, and I don't mean that in an actual way.
What I mean is he was always the bad boy.

Speaker 2 of the sport and he was the bad boy in general of all olympians for the united states for a period of time there ryan just was kind of a lug nut and he didn't know what a good thing he had.

Speaker 2 He could have been like Michael Phelps and had all the millions and millions of dollars worth of endorsements and all the accolades and all the appreciation, but he could barely form sentences and he never seemed to stay out of trouble.

Speaker 2 He was always in some kind of trouble, whether implied or for real.

Speaker 2 So the only thing that Ryan got out of all of his fame and fortune and his two Olympics of having, you know, many many golds and silvers and platinums or bronzes and all this, all he managed to get was a shitty reality show that was only on for about four episodes.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, what was that? And everybody decided that we really weren't that interested in what was going on in Ryan Lochte's head. Well, because it wasn't a lot.
No, it wasn't. And it was clear to see.

Speaker 2 He was not all there.

Speaker 2 Listen, I don't know if he's not all there.

Speaker 2 He wasn't all there. I mean, this is

Speaker 2 call it like we see it.

Speaker 2 Obviously, he was a great swimmer, athletic as he could be, but that allowed him, I think, to get by on the good looks and the athleticism. He never really had that.
Kind of epitome of the dumb jock.

Speaker 2 Dumb jock. Yeah.
Yeah. If I think of dumb jock, I think of Ryan Lochte.
He like epitomizes that.

Speaker 2 Now, I'm sure there's lots of people that love Ryan Lochte, and I'm sure he's done a lot of amazing things for great people. I'm not throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Speaker 2 I only know what I see on television. That's it.
That was just the general perception. Absolutely.
Even NBC, who covered the Olympics, was kind of implying he was like a dum-dump.

Speaker 2 You know what I'm saying? They'd like make, they'd put sound effects when he was talking.

Speaker 2 I mean, honestly,

Speaker 2 he'd get out of the water and they'd be like, Ryan, great job. You broke the world record by three and a half seconds.
How you feeling? Well,

Speaker 2 I was swimming.

Speaker 2 And we'll be back to NBC Olympic coverage after this.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 He was like, he was being made fun of implicitly. Well, I think we might have an idea of why now.
Okay. Ryan got married and Ryan had kids.

Speaker 2 And I guess he's living a life with that wife and those kids. In Miami.
I think it's in Miami that he still lives. I know he was from Florida.
I think it was Miami. He

Speaker 2 is going through a divorce. Never a good thing.
That sucks. And especially when there's kids involved.
Yes. Always a painful thing.

Speaker 2 But the reason that she is divorcing him is varied, you know, in irreconcilable differences and all this other stuff, which is usually the most of the basis for divorces in this country that you just can't see eye to eye and you're not going to feel

Speaker 2 it's not working out. But one of the other things that is claimed, and now Ryan has admitted to, is that he has been doing a lot of huffing of nitrous oxide over the years.

Speaker 2 Yes, he is running around the house huffing nitrous oxide. So she puts it.
So those personal little tank things? Yeah, the personal little tank things that are destroying people's lives right now.

Speaker 2 I mean, honestly, there's two things in this world that are going on that you may or may not know about. We all know about Trank.
We all know about fentanyl.

Speaker 2 We all know about the zombie drugs and the zombie streets up in the northeast and wherever. Yeah.
Or at least you should know about that, right?

Speaker 2 There's very heavy sedatives that are making people, like, I don't know, stand on one toe. Like, in a way, it's so weird to see

Speaker 2 because because I saw it in person in Seattle. How do you not fall over? I don't know.
But they'll be like balancing on one toe for hours at a time. It's like leaning over.

Speaker 2 Leaning over at us, like Michael Jackson in a video, but never falling over, but their eyes are closed. It's so strange.
Zombies. Zombies.
That's all you can say.

Speaker 2 But there's two drugs that are wreaking havoc on the underbelly of America right now.

Speaker 2 And one is nitrous oxide and other Freon and other stuff, but nitrous oxide, because it is, you are allowed to buy it. We talked about it.
Yes. Yeah, we talked about it.
Local vape store.

Speaker 2 That's right.

Speaker 2 The local vape store started an entire crisis throughout the country by flavoring them and putting them out in colorful boxes in these cans that they were getting from China, filling them up, and then distributing them by the

Speaker 2 tens of thousands around the southeast and all around the country. And this started a black market for this.

Speaker 2 Ryan got a hold of it. Ryan's in on it.
Like, Ryan got a a hold of it. He's a nitrous oxide kind of guy.

Speaker 2 And when you think about it, it's starting to make a little sense why Ryan may not have seemed all there. That's something that's not going to show up on a drug test.

Speaker 2 And it's something you can do quickly and it goes away quickly. And it makes you dumb as fucking dirt.
It kills brain cells. It does kill brain cells because that's how you get high.

Speaker 2 It kills your brain cells. And then you get high.
It kills the neurons that are shooting, firing off in your head, and then it starves your brain of oxygen.

Speaker 2 We're talking about laughing gas in case you don't know. Same stuff you get at a dentist, but the dentist has medical grade quality and controls the flow

Speaker 2 slowly over the course of a procedure or whatever. So you just kind of drift off and

Speaker 2 no, it's not. Though I have had some dentists who have definitely juiced me up, and I appreciate it every time because I fucking hate the dentist.
Yes. So Ryan gets on a video

Speaker 2 to retort these allegations where she says he was high around the kids. He He was driving the kids while he's on nitrous oxide.
It's all terrible. So dangerous.
Yeah, never, ever, ever.

Speaker 2 I don't even think I've been drunk around my kids ever.

Speaker 2 And, you know, I understand there's lots of parents who can operate in some form of buzz. And so I'm not throwing, like casting dispersions.
I've seen it myself. I'm not judgmental.

Speaker 2 I'm not judgmental. Yeah.
Except when I'm judgmental.

Speaker 2 It's just not for you. It's just not for me.
But high on nitrous oxide, I don't know that that's the smartest choice in the world. No, it's not.
But Ryan went online to say,

Speaker 2 to tell everybody that he was 15 days sober. And while he, yes,

Speaker 2 there was drug use in the house, it was never around the children. And I couldn't think of a more dumb thing that he could have said in that moment.

Speaker 2 And which lawyer had explained to him that it was okay to release that video?

Speaker 2 Because you were doing it in the house where your children lived.

Speaker 2 But you weren't doing it around the children where your children lived. It's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard.
What did you do? Hide in the corner? I was going to say, in the pantry? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 come out. Don't bother daddy right now.
Woo. Look at the spoon.
Yeah. Hey, hey.

Speaker 2 Wah, wah, wah, wah. Right.
Don't bother daddy. I mean, my wah-wah zone.

Speaker 2 Can you get my binky and my chupa? Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

Speaker 2 I mean, so fucking incredibly stupid of him to say you're doing it in the house, but not around the children. The children live in the house.
Therefore, you are around the children. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Don't be a fucking lug nut, Ryan. I appreciate appreciate the sobriety.

Speaker 2 Yeah, good for you. Keep going, bud.
Keep going. There's life's on the other side.
You'll figure it out.

Speaker 2 And I really do encourage you to figure it out because I'm sure that that addiction must be crippling, crippling.

Speaker 2 Because we know from reading the story here on air, the expose that Vice Magazine did on this, or the New Yorker, whoever it was, that there were people literally camped outside of these stores and they would go through like an entire quarter of a tank.

Speaker 2 Get into the car and do it. Do it.
Come back in. Yeah.
Rob people, tell them we would pay them later.

Speaker 2 Use their mom's credit card, use their dad's credit card, use somebody else's credit card just to get the next hit of nitrous oxide. Now, I've done nitrous oxide.
Yeah, me too.

Speaker 2 I guess I could see how it would be addictive, but it's not something I pine over. Yeah.
Yeah. Like at a fish concert where there's a balloon being passed around? Cool, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but like standing outside the store scratching and itching and waiting for my nitrous. No.

Speaker 2 But there's a

Speaker 2 lot of I hope you get better, bud. I think you need an attorney before you put out any more public service announcements.
Yeah, I would not do that.

Speaker 2 I think you just gave the judge all the fuel he needs to keep you away from the children, at least for a period of time, until you can prove that you're clean and sober.

Speaker 2 And you don't want to see that because kids need both their parents. Not high,

Speaker 2 not on nitrous oxide, but kids need both their parents, if available, if around, if available.

Speaker 2 The other thing that I'm reading about is the 70H. Have you heard about this? No.
All right. I'll tell you a little bit more about 70H.
Let's take a break. Okay.
We'll be back.

Speaker 4 Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple.
Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Speaker 4 Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too?

Speaker 2 You know you do.

Speaker 4 Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822.
You can be on the show too. Mm-hmm.
Just call and say something. Anything.
Or text us and we'll text you right back.

Speaker 4 Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker.
It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point.

Speaker 4 Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com/slash thecommercial break.

Speaker 2 Best to you and Astrid.

Speaker 4 Especially Astrid.

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Speaker 2 All right, to fully understand 70H, I think I need to give you a little primer course. Okay.

Speaker 2 I'm ready.

Speaker 2 We've had for many years in this country an opiate addiction problem as there was one

Speaker 2 doctor in the United States of America who put out a statement saying, I don't believe that

Speaker 2 oxycodone is physically addictive. I don't believe.
Those are the words that he used.

Speaker 2 And they used that statement millions of times to sell billions of doses and get them out on the street that created this huge black market and addicted people from the richest to the poorest and everything in between.

Speaker 2 We've all known somebody who has been to the doctor for knee replacement surgery or a broken arm and come out with a... hurt back.
Yeah. And come out with a bad opiate problem.

Speaker 2 So no, again, casting no dispersions here. I know people in my own life who have struggled with this.

Speaker 2 And it's easy to see why.

Speaker 2 If you take a couple of painkillers on a Tuesday night, it's easy to see why people get addicted to those things, but it's physically addictive because it binds to the opiate receptors in your brain,

Speaker 2 causing your brain to be euphoric, but then it creates more opiate receptors over time that need also to be filled with that opiate medication.

Speaker 2 That's what causes the physical addiction, and the withdrawal can be hell. We all know this.
Yeah, it's awful. yeah

Speaker 2 so for many years there is a indonesian plant that has been used shipped into the united states of america sold at a lot of gas stations certainly most head shops and all over online that has been used kind of as a i guess a

Speaker 2 a supplement to allow people some pain relief without taking actual medications. And then also some people report that it helps them with concentration, concentration, ADHD.
It's called kratom.

Speaker 2 And it's been around for a very long time. It's been used in Indonesia for hundreds of years, if not thousands of years.
It's been imported into the United States by the ton because people buy it.

Speaker 2 They make a tea out of it. There's pills.
There's powders. There's lotions.
There's potions. Yeah.
Isn't it derived from a plant or something? The kratom leaf. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And there's all different varieties of kratom leaf and you know, strengths and power and whatever. It's not a pharmaceutical.
It's an organic. It's a nutraceutical, whatever you call those things.

Speaker 2 So, um, not a nutraceutical, an org, whatever you call it. It's organic.
Yeah. So you can buy this anywhere.

Speaker 2 You can likely go down to the gas station down the street, not like the quick trip, but you know, your local,

Speaker 2 you know, shitty gas station on the corner where they sell like, you know,

Speaker 2 White Brian 3000 glass pipes. Yeah.
They probably sell kratom there too. At least they do where I live, where I live.
But this also binds to the opiate receptors

Speaker 2 and helps people in certain ways. There are many, many advocates for Kratom, many.

Speaker 2 And as a matter of fact, while many states have tried to outlaw Kratom, only a few have because there is also a Kratom lobby that

Speaker 2 made up of doctors and specialties and

Speaker 2 pain patients, pain specialists who say this offers some relief, but it's considerably less dangerous if used correctly than actually putting someone on oxycodone or oxycontin. Okay.
right.

Speaker 2 In that

Speaker 2 kratom,

Speaker 2 by a tiny percentage per kilogram, there's something called 7OH, which is one of the opiate-binding chemicals that comes out of kratom, one of them.

Speaker 2 And it is,

Speaker 2 by a magnitude, more powerful than any other opiate known to man, according to scientists. It's called 70H.

Speaker 2 It's very potent, very powerful. And

Speaker 2 some shitty, you know, Amsterdam chemists will figure it out and we will make millions and millions of dollars have figured out how to synthesize this in a lab, press it into pills and powders, and sell it online, on the streets, in gas stations.

Speaker 2 This is great news. All over.
It is ruining people's lives. Ruining people's lives.

Speaker 2 TikTok is littered.

Speaker 2 If you go to TikTok and you do 70H, it is littered with stories of young people who took some 70H at a party, bought it at a gas station. There are drinks.

Speaker 2 They make drinks, seltzers out of it, all kinds of different stuff, just like they do with Kratom. They make seltzer waters out of it, whatever.
These happy drinks. They really make you happy.

Speaker 2 And people get addicted. They go from drinking like, you know, half a can every two weeks to like 30 cans in a day.
Every day, yeah.

Speaker 2 Because their body needs more and more of it because it is considerably stronger than fentanyl, heroin, opium, all of it.

Speaker 2 And there is no law that restricts people from using it, taking it, putting it into ingredients because it is one of these, you know, just like one chemical off, one little, whatever they call it off,

Speaker 2 one little

Speaker 2 shake of the salt shaker off from the recipe known as narcotic drug.

Speaker 2 And so it gets by regulation until recently when the FDA put out a warning warning to the big 70H makers: hey, what you're doing is illegal and we're going to figure it out.

Speaker 2 So we suggest you stop manufacturing it now.

Speaker 2 Warning shot across the bow, but really fucking knows this day and age. Is the FDA even a thing anymore? Does it exist? I don't know.
Who knows? Right.

Speaker 2 And, you know, I

Speaker 2 listen, I don't have a dog in this fight. Don't take 70H, never taken 70H.
The only time that I have tried Kratom was a drink that Chrissy and I drank with Reggie Watts.

Speaker 2 It did give me the light and fuzzies, but it wasn't like I sent me to the moon. Slight.

Speaker 2 Yeah, slight euphoric kind of like, you know, happy-giggly type thing. Yeah.
But I wouldn't say that it was something that I would chase.

Speaker 2 As a matter of fact, I think I still have one of them in the fridge away.

Speaker 2 But I will

Speaker 2 share that, you know,

Speaker 2 I think anybody should be able to do anything they want as long as they're not hurting anybody else. But here's where there's a little bit of a slippery slope for me.

Speaker 2 Because if you're 16, 17 years old and you're walking into whatever gas station or head shop or whatever, I mean, you wouldn't be walking into a head shop, but if you're walking in whatever gas station and you're buying your fizzy happy tonic juice, right?

Speaker 2 And you have no fucking clue what this is doing to you physically.

Speaker 2 And then all of a sudden you can't get through a day at high school until you have seven of these drinks or you're flopping out in the floor with sweat and heart racing and eyeballs popping out of your head,

Speaker 2 then I think that you are causing harm to other people who may not know better because a lot of people don't understand about this 70H.

Speaker 2 There are a few people who are ringing the bell and there's lots of cautionary tales out there. But you know, kids, look at me.
Look at me as an example.

Speaker 2 I grew up in a time when it was a lot less dangerous, a lot less dangerous. Cocaine was cocaine.
Ecstasy was something you were pretty sure that wasn't going to kill you.

Speaker 2 Crystal meth was crystal meth. You know, things were things.
They were things. Weed was shitty and it came from Mexico and it just gave you a headache.
No one cared.

Speaker 2 And if it didn't have any seeds in it, that was like the best weed you'd ever had.

Speaker 2 Now the weed is like 40% potency. It's insane, right?

Speaker 2 But now

Speaker 2 people have figured out, big money has figured out how to manufacture these things in a lab, one chemical off from this or one degree off from that.

Speaker 2 And they get by the regulators and they have no idea what it's it's doing to people.

Speaker 2 And they don't care because they're just making millions and millions of dollars for a short period of time, folding up shop and going away without any consequences.

Speaker 2 And it makes me feel scared for the children, but it makes me feel bad for the kids growing up today that they're faced with all of these choices. Like if I could have bought

Speaker 2 what I thought was going to be something like cocaine at a head shop or a gas station, I would have been standing outside of the gas station at seven in the morning scratching my arm for much cheaper and much more potent.

Speaker 2 I would have done that. But that wasn't something that was offered back then.
We just had no-dose. D.
Yeah, D and no-dose. Yeah, the no-dose.
God, I remember hearing about those.

Speaker 2 No-dose is a caffeine pill. It is a concentrated caffeine pill.
It's all it is. It's just a high dose of caffeine.
It's like drinking two

Speaker 2 large cups of Starbucks without any actual liquid. Imagine that, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 One pill. And they sell them in packets.
So let me tell you a little cautionary tale here, Chrissy.

Speaker 2 The year was whatever the year was. And I was working at that McDonald's.
Oh, right. And we would have to close the store sometimes and then open the store.
I think I've told this story before.

Speaker 2 And one night, my friend Terry and I. were closing the store.
So we got done at like 12 or 1 in the morning. It was like a Saturday.

Speaker 2 And then on Sunday, we had to be back to open the store we were asked to open, which gave us about four hours of free time before we had to be back at the McDonald's. Talk about child labor.

Speaker 2 Is there child labor laws back then? Now that I'm thinking about this, yes. Yeah, we were like 15 years old.
Hey, McDonald's got in trouble, I think, with

Speaker 2 that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, these managers took way advantage of the young kids over there. But it was all young kids working there.
So I guess to be fair to them,

Speaker 2 they didn't have anything else. They paid him cheap money.
They paid us cheap money and they worked us to death. And we loved every minute of it.

Speaker 2 We were having a ball.

Speaker 2 So we decided that what we would do is just stay up all night, smoke cigarettes, go to the waffle house. The taco bell was open 24 hours across the street.

Speaker 2 And we ran to the local BP and we got a box of no-dos, which came with like 12 of them. And Terry and I each took four of them.
At one time,

Speaker 2 even though it said, take one every four hours, we took four every one hour. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 And the state of mind that the two of us were in by the time that shift rolled around caused the only manager who needed at least three people to open up the store to send us directly home.

Speaker 2 Do not pass. Go.
We were not allowed to be on that shift. She knew because we were like...
Are you like twitching? Our eyes were like Cheshire cats, probably pale as a ghost. Sweating.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was sweating. I'm like big sweat standing.
Oh my God. You know, flop, sweat everywhere.
I think it was the middle of the winter, too. Like flop, sweat.

Speaker 2 And I was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, God.

Speaker 2 Smoking, chain smoking. Oh, my God.
Chain smoking. Holy shit.
I came in with three cigarettes lit. I was like,

Speaker 2 because back then you could smoke while you were opening up the store. It was not unusual.

Speaker 2 It was the most intensely,

Speaker 2 I mean, I had.

Speaker 2 Now I've done that many times since. I mean, I've had that feeling a number of times, but I know that feeling now.
I know what it is. It's strung the fuck out.
You are way high.

Speaker 2 Your body's not handling it well. You are sick.
You're physically ill, and you just need to shut down.

Speaker 2 I do remember specifically about this day that I called my dad to come pick me up because I didn't drive at the time.

Speaker 2 And my dad came and picked me up. And he's like, Why are we doing? I thought you were opening the store.
It's like 4:45 in the morning. He's like, Why are we doing this?

Speaker 2 I thought you were opening the store. And I'm like, Oh, she sent us home.

Speaker 2 And he's like, Are you all right? And I'm like, I, I,

Speaker 2 oh, God, you're dad.

Speaker 2 I rolled in that bed for a day. I just rolled in my bed, just trying to get some sleep, rolling and rolling and rolling.
It was the most awful feeling. It sounds terrible.

Speaker 2 And now I go to Starbucks and chase that every fucking morning. Now the cups of coffee are just as strong.

Speaker 2 But this is, but like, you know, to be that kid again and not understand that what I'm buying at the gas station cannot be dangerous. That was our assumption.
Well, right.

Speaker 2 It's just legal and you can buy it. It's legal.
You can buy it. It'll be fun.
We'll all have a good time. Don't worry about it.
Holy shit. My eyes are going to bleed.

Speaker 2 How many more cigarettes can we smoke?

Speaker 2 I think I'm going to throw up. I don't want this taco salad.
It doesn't taste good to me. Oh, yeah.
Oh, God. Oh, Chrissy, what just an awful feeling that is.
Awful feeling.

Speaker 2 And to think I would repeat that so many times in my life on purpose. Like I knew what was coming, and yet I'd do it.
One more line. One more bump.
One more line. One more bump.

Speaker 2 Until it's 9:30 at night the following day. Following day, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 2 these kids, they're faced with some difficult choices and limited information.

Speaker 2 And I just, it, you know, hey, listen, I'm not saying we should outlaw it. I'm saying people should know.

Speaker 2 I guess that's part of the reason why I want to share because I know how many kids listen to our show. Right.
Actually, I do know a couple of kids listen to our show. Yeah, no, that's scary.

Speaker 2 You're right. If you had access to something that's legal and you think it's safe.
Yeah. I mean, you think it's okay.
That's what you assume. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You assume it's okay based on the fact that it's easily accessible, that you can buy it, you can transact it with your credit card over the counter in a store where, you know, there's not like police officers guarding the door.

Speaker 2 It's not like you're going to get arrested. You're not having to call some drug dealer guy.
Yeah. That's it.
You're not shopping. You're shopping at Kroger.

Speaker 2 Okay. Okay.
It can't be that dangerous for me. Sure.
And then, you know, you're buying in bulk at Sam's since my guy needs 30.

Speaker 2 I watched this terrible story about this yellow. Just be careful.
Kids, be careful. Call Brian.
He'll tell you all the bad news about all the things. Yeah, he lived it.
Yeah. We make fun of it here.

Speaker 2 But there is definitely, and while I may seem like a glamorous,

Speaker 2 high lifestyle,

Speaker 2 you know, fast cars, loose women, fun drugs kind of guy. Yeah, it's not all shits and giggles at at the top, kids.

Speaker 2 It's yawning.

Speaker 2 Yawning, snorkeling, parasailing, which I will never do, by the way.

Speaker 2 Space, ocean,

Speaker 2 classes that include science and parasailing. How many videos I've seen?

Speaker 2 I don't know if my algorithm is. I've been parasailing one time.
Oh, fuck that.

Speaker 2 You know how videos I've seen in the last 14 days of people just practically dying parasailing? That's some dumb shit. I'm never doing it again.
Never doing it again.

Speaker 2 I can't, I think I did it once. I want to say that I did it once, but yeah, I did it when I was like 16 or 17 at the beach.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's when you do it when you're 16 or 17 at the beach. But that's these videos too.
And then all of a sudden it comes unhooked and they're like, ah,

Speaker 2 God. You know, they're flying into the side of a mountain or the, you know, the rope gets wrapped around their leg and they're being yanked around.
It's all scary. It's, and it's unregulated.

Speaker 2 Who's doing that? Bob with the boat? Bob with a string and a parachute? Yeah, well, it was. He just had a boat and the parachute.
Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 2 Bob's parachute, Bob's parasailing, painted on the side of his boat. Meanwhile, he's probably on 7-0-H right.
Just driving people around. Or no, Doug.

Speaker 2 Have fun, kids.

Speaker 2 It's like a fishing line. They're just reeling you out back and then hoping they can bring you back.

Speaker 2 It's all very scary. The world's full of

Speaker 2 scary. The world world is scary.
And so is the ocean. Oh, the ocean is the ocean.
To me, I can't figure out if space or the ocean is more scary. I keep on thinking about that Titan submersible.

Speaker 2 Oh, God.

Speaker 2 What would ever lead those people to believe that was a good idea? Yeah. It was a fucking

Speaker 2 tic-tac. It looked like a tic-tac.
Didn't even look constructed properly. Yeah, I mean watching that documentary, it did make you realize all of a sudden, like, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 2 They like just ignored all of these these things that were bad. Stockton knew nothing about nothing, he ignored it all.

Speaker 2 You thought he had it figured out, but meanwhile, they were like literally had to

Speaker 2 like the people who weren't going on that particular trip had to screw on the top. Yeah.
And what would happen if you needed to get out? I don't know.

Speaker 2 But I mean, to be fair, I don't know how you got out of James Cameron's envelope either. Like, if something goes wrong, I think you're fucked there, too.
But I don't know. That thing seems much more

Speaker 2 like the craftsmanship on James Cameron's ship. Well, he's got the money, yeah.
So, the funny thing is, so did Stockton. Wow, that's true.
He was so well connected with all this money and power, and

Speaker 2 he was just chasing, I don't know, chasing a dream, I guess. Who can blame him?

Speaker 2 We're not going to the ocean, kids. Commercial breaks staying right fucking

Speaker 2 here. That's right.

Speaker 2 Are you watching the summer return pretty? Unless, no, I'm not. Okay.
Did you want me to?

Speaker 2 I started watching. I started watching.

Speaker 2 I got got hooked.

Speaker 2 I got reeled in.

Speaker 2 I'm afraid I will get hooked, and that's why I have to. Oh, you will.
Oh, and you'll be there. It's a teenage love triangle.
Who doesn't want to watch that?

Speaker 2 Yeah, who doesn't?

Speaker 2 90 Day Fiancé got boring, so now I'm watching the summer I turn.

Speaker 2 Ah,

Speaker 2 what's going on, TLC? I'm going to get back to your roots. Crazy people

Speaker 2 who don't look all that crazy at first. Right.
Now it's just crazy people who look crazy from the beginning. Yeah.
And it's all actors and actresses. I know.
212-433-3 TCB. 212-433-3822.

Speaker 2 Text us questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas.

Speaker 2 tcbpodcast.com for your free sticker at thecommercial break on instagram and youtube.com slash the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day they air here on the audio

Speaker 2 uh yeah i don't know what else to say all right that's all I can do. I think so.
I love you. I love you.
Best of you.

Speaker 2 The best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say.
We do say and we must say. Goodbye.

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Speaker 2 I get passed.